whileurmine

[whileurmine]

i think god reads my tumblr posts saying i'll come back as a dare. like 'oh u think ur good? are u sure? are u Really sure? let's stress test that < 3' lasdjflkasjdf lmao. had some not so great two days but tomorrow i'll come back i will not LOSE this ARM WRESTLE YOU HEAR ME GOD

[whileurmine]

was gonna come in today to write but i went back to work and other people did not come so i had to do mine + their job (+ went to sleep at 4am) so it ain't looking good for my nice gig of pressing a button and being on tumblr the rest of the time today lmao. if i have a sudden burst of energy when i get home i might do a few things but it's not looking likely so will probably be around in the morrow.

[whileurmine]

jason waved his head from side to side, "eh. sometimes" the smirk on his features way too self-satisfied for it to look like the answer to her question was anything other than a resounding yes. was he really the one to blame if she was that easy to rile up.? "no, see, i gathered the mad bit, i'm just tellin' you, in case you need it to, you know, work through your feelings a little faster. they got a name for that type of anger. somethin' 'bout kids bickerin' over nothin' and throwin' paper balls at each other. cru... somethin'. i ain't sure right now but it's at the tip of my tongue. crus..." he waved his hand vaguely in the air in feigned surrender. tongue caught between his lips. "i'm sure it'll come to ya."

"do you take pleasure in acting like such an infuriating asshole all the time?" frankie scoffed, forcibly resisting the urge to smack jason. or scream at him. or stomp her feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum. it was unbecoming, which is why she restrained herself, but she was so aggravated by him she almost couldn't help herself. "i am mad at you, growin' more mad at you every time you open your mouth."

[whileurmine]

"i—" jack blinked several times in a roll. stuttered. paused for a full second. face twisting into a frown like he was going through every part of his sentence looking for which one had gotten her mad. he couldn't find it. "okay, so i'm— i mean, i'm willing to walk back anything i said just now but imma need you to pinpoint which part exactly you hated or if it's the whole thing top to bottom." sure, he understood how with his not-so-recent-if-you-ask-him cheating mishap him touring the country might cause some contention, in a general sense. but not when most of the songs in the album were about her. "are you aware there's an implicit invitation for you to join me? if you want? whenever you want? like, you don't have to, of course, because you have your own life, but you also can, and i would be happy if you did."

open to: anyone relationship: friends, dating (lol), s/o (lmao), have fun with it ✨ about nevaeh ✨

" if you open your fucking mouth right now and tell me you're not joking, i swear to god i'll kill you, "

[whileurmine]

"babe, angel, sweetheart, love of my life, light of my universe..." he stepped forward, cradling her cheeks with both hands, thumb stroking her cheeks softly, while he pushed his lips into a pout, exaggerated but all too gentle. "to where? where would i even leave to? in this terrible fantasy of yours. you know at this point at least one of my kids." he chuckled. somehow, now, far enough from that mess that it had circled back to funny. "you are also dating decker. you have knowledge on me commenting multiple crimes. even if i wanted to— which i don't. how would i even do that in this scenario?"

open to: anyone relationship: friends, friend of one of her siblings, fwb, roommates, dating, on and off type thing maybe, have fun with it ✨ about samantha ✨

" yeah, sure, you can like... say the words and stuff like you always do, but you can't actually promise me you're gonna stick around, "

[whileurmine]

i'm back!! (i think) (i had three stable days i'm taking that as victory) like this for a lyric starter!! (probably dramatic and with teenager girl drama type of songs lmao, i wanna make my characters cry a lil or get in a fight)

[whileurmine]

i sorta wanna try coming back again for the fifteenth time this month. my mental health is sorta stable and has been sorta stable for like a week so i'll see if i can do some things either today or tomorrow and if i can do like a good 5-10 replies without giving up i'll try posting either some open starters or a starter call.

[whileurmine]

okay imma try doing things today again if i don't do things then... don't yell at me bc that would make me cry but like... idk tell me to imagine my character sad without urs that would work i think lmao

[whileurmine]

guys quick question how normal is it to rehearse how you'll tell a story to your therapist bc it's really long and you don't wanna run out of time before you tell the whole thing so if u rehearsed then, u know, u would know some parts need to be cut out so it doesn't go over an hour. (non-enablers dni).

[whileurmine]

"it is, yes, but i'm already a perfect james from birth. have always been, will always be. so it's real easy for me. it's more like a, other people must accept me for how perfect i am problem. they think i have this thing called... saws? no, sorry, flaws. they think i have flaws. wildly off base, truly." james chuckled. closing the door behind himself. guiding her further in. his hand on her lower back, his body never any more than one inch away. "i appreciate you moving your plans around. see, that's how james should be treated. you should join my religion." and where he stopped was the threshold of her bedroom door. thumb caressing her lower back, his eyes roaming over the furniture as they walked in slowly. as though he'd just then realized he had no idea where she kept anything. for half a second only, james considered if maybe he could convince her to go to his place instead— "come on, baby." he pressed a soft kiss to her temple, moving over to the bed to pull blankets aside as if prompting her to crawl under them. "you took any meds yet? or does the this-isn't-happening strategy not allow for them."

“ mmh... sounds strict, your religion, ” she cleared her throat, feeling the frog forming in her throat that would likely soon transform her airy, houston drawl into a hoarse, wet, phlegm-y, mess. “ hasn't failed me yet. power of the mind, ” or more so the combination of keeping up with her shots and just enough luck to not be totally taken out of commission before. she didn’t know what was going wrong now. maybe all the years of brushing it all off catching up with her. her feet moved back as he pressed them forward into her apartment, her eyes half closed as she looked up at him to ease the tension in her head. “ well, guess i could move my plans around, ” not that she really had any for once. the thought had crossed her mind to go for a walk, just to move around and not be stuck in bed all day, but his idea was more enticing.

[whileurmine]

"context clues have not failed you." ari laughed. a soft little sound. more air than noise, really, but more genuine than anything else she had managed to come up with in that conversation so far. comfort, the easy always-ready-to-offer-out-trust kind, had settled somewhere above her chest without her notice. as soon as she became aware of its warmth, guilt flooded in to replace it, hand in hand with paranoia. how could she steal from a guy this nice? what was wrong with her? or was he not that nice? did she miss something? was this all a very elaborate ploy for her to lower her guard so he could take his revenge? her mind rushed through the contents of her pockets and backpack, as if itemizing everything she owned, ordering those things by the loss she'd feel if they were taken away from her as payback. very little was irreplaceable. headphones, sketchbook, art shit, first aid kit, clothes, they could all be bought again, probably or regained as gifts, through favors. the only things she couldn't replace were the hoodie and her phone. and they were both on her at that moment. not something she would give away at a request or lose access to with a little distraction. it was fine. everything was fine. everything would be fine. this was an acceptable level of loss, of danger, of fear. much safer, really, than the comfort she'd briefly experienced. ari set her phone to sync its cloud backup just in case. then, "how about this, it's not— a masterpiece. it won't make you feel something that it's gonna stick with you, i don't think. it might make you go nice though." ari chuckled. grabbing the empty bowl and taking it to the sink. least she could do after all that was wash it. "i can give you the film nerd version of watching it where while stuff happens i'm telling you about unique stuff they did for the first time and everyone that came after just copied. or i can do the normal version of it where i stay quiet the whole time and keep looking back and forth between you and the screen and pretending like i'm not watching for your reaction to different moments." a small laugh escaped her. with the water running it didn't take long for her to finish dishes. she was only gonna do one after all. "look, how about: we can trade so this is not just you giving me stuff all night. you let me borrow the pajamas and i set up my tiny projector on one of your walls so we don't have to suffer through laptop." she dried her hands, clapping them together as if marking the job done. "it's this tiny thing, fits in your hand. i got it as a birthday gift from my dad. all i need is a sorta dark room and a clear wall and ta-da, you have giant temporary tv."

"context clues tell me that's a movie." he didn't watch a lot of movies growing up. he didn't watch a lot of anything, growing up. he was a veracious reader, the kind of kid that always had a book in hand, something about his latest hobby or hyperfixation, and he had friends who were big fans of television, so there were times he would visit them and they would show him things, but the one being referenced now? "i've actually never heard of it. and i don't actually have a tv here, either, but i can pull out my ancient old laptop and we can see if we can get it to load up on that, if you think it's necessary viewing for the human experience." though, to be fair, if she's planning on crashing here, seems a little silly to watch something that she seemed to have referenced in combination with being afraid of the woods. "i've never liked the idea that we call something 'good' or 'bad' by consensus, anyway. movies and books and things. then again, i suppose there are technical aspects of even art to consider. do you want something comfortable to change into? i have pajamas of every material known to man. it's a vice of mine."

[whileurmine]

he couldn't help his smirk. right side of his lips pulled upwards as he looked at her. leaning towards amusement and arrogance to actively hide the hint of softness that lingered on his expression as he looked down at corrine. for a second there, tony felt his heart move askew. like it meant to tell him that maybe, just maybe, tony liked her a little more than he had just thought he did. panic tried to rush in right after, but he tempered it down. it was fine. there was nothing to worry about. this was fine. it was much more likely he was having a heart attack than anything else and he wasn't having a heart attack. "is that what's happening here? you are playing with me? i was under the impression that i was the casanova here, keeping things vague while you are a stage five clinger asking for secret vacations. it is, again, what i've been telling people this whole time." he chuckled, and then nodded, his hand already on her back, guiding her out of her own place like he could rush them both out the door and teleport to his own place. "come on. out we go. we don't want your poor guys getting here while we are still leaving. it'd be awfully awkward. no employee likes doing shit while the boss is around. also, don't tease me with my dreams of being in fancams, that's too cruel. it's like telling a snowman his dream of seeing summer will happen in a few weeks." tony chuckled. leaning over to press a quick kiss to her neck before pulling away. just long enough to gather his belongings back where he'd abandoned them (with the careless disregard of someone who owned the place) when he'd gotten there. thrown atop different surfaces. wallet. phone. keys jingling in his hand. then once again he was urging her out. "your— what is it that you said? kept man?" tony laughed softly. "your kept man got his fancy car downstairs. that he bought with his own money, by the way, if anyone is wondering."

despite the fact that corinne is not a touchy feely type, she doesn't stop him from pulling her in, doesn't stop herself from reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck as he leans in for his kiss, actively participates in the kiss and happily. because tony is an easy guy to like, to enjoy and sink into. it's only after the kiss is broken that she says anything at all, and immediately the words are teasing again. "please, you like being played with a little bit. otherwise, you wouldn't keep coming back for more." she's never gone out of her way to have anything real before, and she isn't even sure if this is real, or if they're both very good at playing both sides of a fence, but that doesn't stop her from reaching up to gently tangle her fingers into his hair, give that smile that she's been told is charming and off putting all at once. "you'd be the prettiest indie darling. there would be fancams all over tiktok, i bet." and then she chuckles, a little under her breath, just an exhale that lingers in the air between them. "it's tonight. so if you still want to go on your whirlwind vacation after, i will agree to go with you. and i can have one of my guys deliver my dress to your place, so we could head there now..." those fingers in his hair tighten just a little, another tease. "... if you wanted to."

[whileurmine]

He brushed his nose against hers, lips parted slightly as he tried to tell his heart to slow down a little, eyes falling shut. It hadn't hit Maxi until that very moment that the only other time they kissed, she had been the one to initiate it. He remembered the ghost of her lips on his, remembered the way the feeling refused to leave his lips even weeks after. — His heart put too much effort into a single beat, leaving his chest actually hurting. For one single second, suspended outside time and space, he was stuck there. Touching her face, realizing he was in love already while trying not to react to it with the sort of panic attack he thought that kind of knowledge would warrant. She smelled so nice. He didn't know if it was her shampoo or perfume, surely one of the two, only that the awareness of it made affection flood his chest. He was such a goddamn idiot for not having done this anytime sooner. — Maxi pulled her closer, lips meeting hers for the first time since that awful day, and a jolt was sent straight to his heart despite his best attempts to take his time in hopes it would tamp down his own body's reaction. The kiss was gentle at first, it was all it could be, his thumb brushing the side of her face. Then it was something else. Gentle still but a little more needy, a touch more desperate, his lips moving with hers while he almost coaxed her closer. Urging to press herself flush against him, sit on his lap; whichever action got the distance between them, what little there was still, to disappear.

“You don’t need to explain.” What she means (or what the truth is, which is almost the same thing) is not so much that she understands as that it doesn’t help. It should. It should unlock everything that’s been shut up since they last saw each other. Loosen the tightness in her chest. He loves her, or he’s on his way there, down a path the two of them started walking together before the paths diverged, or before one of them stopped in their tracks. He didn’t say it. He didn’t say it. Of course he didn’t say it. He’s still scared. Scared of what’s happened, scared of what could happen, scared of how she’ll react. She understands everything he’s saying, but it’s sitting in her head, unable to sink in to where she can feel it instead of just thinking it. “And you don’t have to ask.” Tisha is scared too, but of something else. She’s scared of his hesitation. She’s scared that he’ll kiss her and she’ll still feel cold, because they left the moment behind in a shower of broken glass and a blood smeared cheek, and there’s no reaching it again. She’s scared of the part of herself that wanted to say no, just to see his reaction, the look on his face, see how he landed when she dropped him.

[whileurmine]

"oh, come on, you know who i am talking about. the windows guy. the one who made the computer stuff. big ass round nerdy glasses. forever years old. you know the guy." did the guy even wear those? tony wasn't sure. but it felt right to imagine him with the sort of round, thick glasses that sort of warped the way eyes looked. "yes, rin, now, now that you asked nicely, i can definitely go, yes. i'd be glad to make everyone envious of you for having such a pretty boy toy on your arm." he chuckled, easily leaning into the kiss. so much so tony was forced to gasp in feigned offense when she pulled back and the chance for it was taken away before he could even lean forward. "you say that as you actively play with my heart. what kind of sick little games are you playing here, miss craigslist girlfriend." this time he was the one who pulled her towards him. hand moving from her waist to her back to guide her forward towards him. tony hummed his way into a kiss, smile on his lips. he really did like her. it had been a while since he'd been with someone he actually did like instead of just found hot. somehow, she managed to do both. which he'd thought was either impossible or a trick from the memory of his youth that real life couldn't emulate. "if you say that kept man joke where people can hear you, i feel like it'd singlehandedly ruin my entire career." tony laughed softly, "i'd have to go from hot spy in action movies to— i don't know, pretend to be an indie darling? i feel like the internet gen z crowd might fall for that one." giving her one more (this time quick) kiss, he leaned back trying to tamper his smile. "is the big company thing close enough to ruin my vacation plans only? or is it tonight? because i do have a tux somewhere, probably, but i'd have to drive home to get it."

"did he? i have to admit, i'm not up to date on my 'the windows guy' lore." and it's definitely a different situation, anyway. corinne is from a dirty family with dirty money and dirty methods, and watching her brother try so desperately to take that money and those methods and make them legit is almost depressing, when she would much rather stick to what she knows. still, she doesn't fault him for trying. "i didn't advertise myself, i answered someone elses ad to hire someone, because i wanted the money and it was for a destination wedding to hawaii, so obviously it wasn't just a single night affair. but i got a free trip to hawaii and a stunning dress out of it, so not a bad gig." eyes roll, but rin doesn't resist him when he puts a hand on her waist, reaching up to wrap one around his neck in response and letting out a soft little hum. "oh, please, pretty please ant, cant you come? i would look foolish with any other man on my arm, you are the only man sexy enough to stand beside me and make everyone in the room envious." she's certainly laying it on thick, but that's part of the fun, and as she leans up, very pointedly going in for a kiss that she then backs out of at the last second, only to let her lips linger there for a moment, she murmurs. "you can be any kind of toy you wanna be, i'm happy to make you my official kept man."

[whileurmine]

"right." ari nodded. "witch. yes. forgot again. keep forgetting. you don't think ghosts are scary, of course you don't. and of course somehow, you like spiders and bears." ari chuckled, shaking her head, more at herself than him, really. with one last spoonful, she was done with the food. emptied bowl pushed aside slightly as she sighed, sinking into the chair like the entirety of her weight was handed over to it in one go. energy both refreshed and finally exhausted. "are you making fun of me or have you actually never watched friday the 13th? because this matters, actually." she pulled her phone out of her pocket, ignoring the multitude of unread texts and unanswered calls, she googled a picture of jason, screen turned to show it to him. "because if you haven't watched, you need to— well, i don't know, actually, i am not sure the original holds up if you don't have the nostalgic memory of watching it as a kid like i do," her face scrunched up in thought, eyes darting to the side for a second and nose wrinkled, before her attention went back to darcy. phone turned back, she opened the netflix app to search for the movie. "it does seem like the kind of thing you'd somehow be into. i don't know. it's not a good movie. but it's, like, fun."

darcy can only chuckle, leg bouncing now in a familiar pattern, tapping along to the song playing in his head to try and keep his mind from twisting into several directions at once. he watches her with the kind of detachment that should be unsettling, but darcy has always somehow managed to make kind instead. his head falls to one side, the picture of a puppy trying to piece something together, and then he shrugs his shoulders again at her questioning, looking around his cabin with that same strange detachment. "nah, i've got the spirits. they're always here to keep me company." and perhaps she would take it like everyone else, that darcy is just a cracked out druggie hippie in the woods, taking the witch thing a little too far, but darcy won't ever tell those people, the ones who doubt him, about how he still talks to his brother and sister every night before bed, how his da still has advice to offer on the wind, his nan keeps the place feeling like home and not house. "besides, i like spiders. and bears, honestly. never met the jason fellow, but i'm sure he's nice, too. never met a jason i didn't like."

[whileurmine]

"my religion doesn't allow for therapy, or self-improvement for that matter. the church of james is very insistent on the fact that all james-es are born perfect and only society can corrupt them." he chuckled softly, shaking his head at himself first and then at her. "right. well, i didn't go to med school. who am i to tell you that doesn't work?" james planted a soft kiss to her forehead, amused smile on his lips. pulling back only to look at her for a second. goddamn. how was she both sick and still that beautiful? "how about this: we go inside, i spend time with you for purely selfish reasons—" and he was already shuffling forward, guiding her back into her own place without ever having to move his hands from her body. "—and for no particular reason, i'll order you soup, get us a blanket and lie with you. i'm just a weird little guy with weird little whims."

she felt foggy and her head was beginning to throb, but his words still managed a light chuckle to bubble in her chest. “ you oughta work on that co-dependency, ” she wrapped her arms around him in return, her eyes closing. “ i choose t' not acknowledge it or else it gets worse, ” moreso out of habit than anything else. she never had time to be sick. “ i'll be fine, ”

[whileurmine]

haven't been around last two days bc [reads smudged writing on hand] god,,, hates,,, me..? no wait, sorry, it says here mood wavering. my b. anyway ill try again on the morrow