#divorce-quotes

[thepersonalwords]

LOVE IS A FLOWERTreat your relationshipAs if you are growingThe most beautiful sacred flower.Keep watering it,Tend to the roots,And always make sureThe petals are full of colorAnd are never curling.Once you neglect your plant,It will die,As will your relationship.

Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

[crowleys-hips]

[poempoetryandmore]

[goodomensbutwrong]

Crowley: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Aziraphale: Sure!

Aziraphale: Whats your favorite color?

Crowley, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you love me?

[radvelvetcakez]

Lucifer: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way. Charlie: Alastor almost died. Lucifer: That... was my favorite memory.

[sleeplessdreamer14]

Bill: (trying to get Ford to take him back)

(Name): (picks Ford up like a sack of potatoes) Oops, got your man! Shoulda treated him right, now he with a real (redacted), he loves it over here!

Ford: Yeah, I love it over here!

(Name): You want him back? Too damn bad!

[coldemergency]

Voldemort: Harry, I need you to give me my snake back

Harry: No! It’s my weekend, we have shared custody!

Voldemort: Nagini is not your child, she is a highly intelligent, extremely terrifying and deadly creature-

Nagini: boop the snoot

Harry: Aww, who’s my little danger noodle?

Voldemort:

Voldemort: What have you done to her

[prettybabyimblue]

[angie-words]

I'm at a bit of an impasse with my writing at the moment, so I'm making memes to share the love/break people's hearts (I'm sorry about 4 & 5. Not really, but pretend I am)

[tremordusk]

Agatha: my ex won’t leave me alone

Señor Scratchy: *nuzzling into Agatha’s chest*

Agatha: She thinks she can bring me back with flowers, apologies and damn good sex…

Señor Scratchy: *wiggles out of her grasp*

Agatha: Where are you going?

Señor Scratchy: * is already halfway down the hall* *enters room*

Rio’s voice can be overheard: Why doesn’t she want me?

Agatha, in the hallway: That traitor…he’s playing both sides—

(Part 1)

Part 1, Part 2

[hiiisorryimlate]

Jayce: Hold on Mel, you're also sleeping with Viktor?

Mel: Of course I- wait... what do you mean also.

*Both look at Viktor*

Viktor: I thought we were all aware of this arrangement... but I seem to have been mistaken

[theineffableoystercatcher]

Lucifer: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Alastor: Oh, really? You’re an idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Lucifer: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING CHARLIE WITH ME! Charlie, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

[crowleys-hips]

based on this thread

[idliketobeatree]

incorrect good omens part 1/?

[goodomensbutwrong]

Aziraphale: Nothing lasts forever. Change is inedible.

Crowley, holding back tears: Don’t….Don’t you mean it’s inevitable?

Aziraphale, who has been using this entire conversation as a setup for the world’s worst magic trick: *spits out coins* no I do not.

[ineffablyruined]

Good Omens + Bad Jokes (6/?)

Made as part of the Angst War over at @goodomensafterdark