#did they hate grisha like brum?

[justanotherbarrelrat]

Matthias: My ghost won’t associate with your ghost

Me: But will you associate with your family’s ghosts?

[stromuprisahat]

Ivans loss: "soldiers aren't human beings" & "all grisha are soldiers" is probably what the author thinks. I still remember when RoW came out and someone asked Leigh Bardugo a very heated question about Fjerdans and she gave a strange justification (link below). She replied, no to making the reference (let's just respect that answer and let's say Fjerdans arent' what the question said they are - and I don't even want to type it out because it's like kicking a beehive and no good will come from it) Let's focus the issue of grisha = soldier = fair game Leigh justifies Matthias and Fjerda's actions by saying: @ 1:23 "Grisha are soldiers. they are weapons. they are ppl who are fighting back" But....SoC had Matthias and Fjerdans going after non-soldiers. They were quite literally hunting civilians, farmers, etc. in all the lands. "Pursuing rogue Grisha in other lands...liberating Grisha captives with the sole purpose of clapping them back in chains and sending them back to fjerda for trial and execution..." next page captive speaking "We are not criminals...we are ordinary people - farmers, teachers. Not me Nina thought grimly. I'm a soldier. ...Did Leigh truly forget about the 15 innocent souls who were chained in the ship? 15 souls who were there just for being grisha? Does she not re-read her works at all????? x.com/hellcatdynes/status/1584699468536221697

That woman! (derogatory)

(Ivan post)

tw: I'm not gonna hold back in this reply as much as I usually manage. It might get vulgar and harsh.

I've seen this particular pile of shit while it was fresh and gods! I can't even begin to explain how sick it makes me. No wonder so many of her fans are a bunch of ignorant idiots.

Let's start with the icky bit- the whole quote:

... people have drawn parallels between Matthias and the drüskelle and the SS, and I don't think that's completely accurate. The Jews, who were put to their death in WWII were innocent. They were civilians! Their crime was being Jewish. Grisha are soldiers. They are weapons. They are people, who are fighting back, so though the drüskelle are hateful and carry a lot of prejudice with them, it is not the same as them going after innocent civilians. And I need to make that clear, because I would never write a Nazi/Jewish romance.

Honey, that's exactly what you did!

I won't shy away from that passage, because it pisses me off immensely.

... people have drawn parallels between Matthias and the drüskelle and the SS, and I don't think that's completely accurate.

So, here we go with this one- I'm entirely sure their uniforms and Brum's accomplishments have nothing in common with fucking Nazis. If you're colour-blind, or US-American, so you don't grow up with photos of that particular chunk of history in your fucking town, because those people in nice uniforms used to burn corpses of their victims just behind the walls. The crematorium is still standing btw. Daily visited by dozens of tourists.

Seriously- fuck respecting what she said! I possess reading comprehension! These atrocities happened around HERE! It's not just an ugly story for me! I grew up in town once used as Jewish ghetto, concentration camp and Gestapo prison, so yeah, I might be overly sensitive about how you choose to dress you genocidal murder club!

The Jews, who were put to their death in WWII were innocent. They were civilians! Their crime was being Jewish. Grisha are soldiers. They are weapons.

As you mentioned:

... The drüskelle had existed for hundreds of years, but under Brum’s leadership, their force had doubled in size and become infinitely more deadly. He had changed their training, developed new techniques for rooting out Grisha in Fjerda, infiltrated Ravka’s borders, and begun pursuing rogue Grisha in other lands, even hunting down slaving ships, “liberating” Grisha captives with the sole purpose of clapping them back in chains and sending them to Fjerda for trial and execution. ...

Six of Crows- Chapter 14

If I wanted to be extremely kind, I could assume this is just Ravkan propaganda- it's what Nina had been taught-, but later we see her experience:

“You’ll be tried for espionage and crimes against the people.” “We are not criminals,” said a Fabrikator in halting Fjerdan from his place on the floor. He’d been there the longest and was too weak to rise. “We are ordinary people—farmers, teachers.” Not me, Nina thought grimly. I’m a soldier. “You’ll have a trial,” said the drüskelle. “You’ll be treated more fairly than your kind deserve.”

Six of Crows- Chapter 14

The wording's rather obvious- it's not about herding up enemy soldiers, but hunting down another species, another race, another kind. That's exactly the type of reasoning Nazis used- Jews were something different, inferior. Dehumanization is a significant part of their ideology.

*takes several deep breaths, because that Cola I've just drank is about to make a re-appearance*

I'll point out another part- already in one of the links in this post, but:

Until a drüskelle had accomplished a mission on his own and been granted officer status, he was required to remain clean-shaven. ... “Good work is right,” one said in Fjerdan. “Fifteen Grisha to deliver to the Ice Court!” “If this doesn’t earn us our teeth—” “You know it will.” “Good, I’m sick of shaving every morning.” “I’m going to grow a beard down to my navel.”

Six of Crows- Chapter 14

Capturing people to have them slaughtered is a rite of passage for drüskelle. It's an accomplishment worth marking. Something to look forward to and boast about.

Grisha are soldiers. They are weapons.

What about non-combatant members of Second Army? Healers, "untrained" Materialki, Grisha working for nobles? Those are weapons too?!

Like- we've already established nobody cares about the free-range Grisha (unless it's drüskelle in need of promotion), but even Second Army includes those, who aren't the first line of defence! Who won't be used to be attacked.

They are people, who are fighting back, so though the drüskelle are hateful and carry a lot of prejudice with them, it is not the same as them going after innocent civilians.

I'll make it even more obvious- would you say rape doesn't count as such, when its victim learnt self-defense before it happened?!

Nice opinion, Leigh! Great message for the poor young vulnerable girls! Very empowering!

And this is one of those days I'm sorry they don't organize full-experience trips to places like my ex-hometown, because I'd gladly invite that woman, so I can accompany her visit with loud reading of specific quotes from her work.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I already did something a bit like this for Jesper, I didn’t think we’d have to be back here again but here we go:

NINA ZENIK IS NOT JUST COMEDIC RELIEF.

Spoilers for the whole series ahead, also warning for discussing Nina’s trauma (and a bit of Matthias’ as well but not in much detail)

Nina has no recollection of what her life looked like before she taken from her home at about 3 and raised in the military of an abusive government to become a child soldier under a compulsory draft for all Grisha in Ravka. When she was around fourteen Nina and a group of other children also being raised to be child soldiers were abducted by the Darkling and held captive at Keramzin, where we know little of what they underwent. This abusive government had so greatly manipulated Nina that by the time she was rescued and the compulsory draft against her people was lifted, her patriotism had become so intense that she begged (remember she was still a child at this time) to be sent on military missions where she would convince other Grisha to join the army. And on one of these missions, when Nina was sixteen, she was taken captive by Drüskelle; by an order of Witch-hunters purposefully constructed for the destruction of her people. And so terrified of implicating and endangering her compatriots she was, Nina did not cry for help.

Nina was held in a cage beneath the deck of a ship with several other Grisha, presumably for a minimum of two weeks, and treated like an animal. During those two weeks the Grisha on the ship were rarely fed, were rarely given access to clean water (Nina begging Matthias to bring them water ends up being what saved her life), were given nowhere to relieve themselves, underwent theats, violence, and dehumanisation, and travelled that entire time with the knowledge that when they reached their destination they would be put on trial and sentenced to death. Almost upon their arrival to Fjerda, the ship feel victim to a massive storm. If it weren’t for the jagged edge of the cup Matthias had given her that Nina used to cut through her bonds, she would have drowned to death in a cage. As it was, she was one of two survivors from the entire vessel and her singular companion was a Drüskelle. Nina and Matthias had to rely on each other, on someone part of the very thing they each identified as their abuser, not only to swim to shore, but to survive for weeks on end afterwards as they travelled across the ice. And in that time, Nina was able to find something in Matthias that she thought was impossible.

Matthias was like her. Matthias had gone through something so similar, and yet so horrifyingly different to her, and where Nina had come to hate and fear his people out of necessity he had come to hate and fear hers through the death of his family followed by years of manipulation and abuse at the hands of his government as it raised him to become a child soldier. And Nina and Matthias were able to look at each other, at 16 and 17 in the most horrendous hellish experience they could have fathomed, and learn who each other truly were. And they knew it would be harder for Matthias, they knew the things he had done - even though he admitted to himself he had never wanted to do them - were going to be so much harder to accept and to unlearn and to move away from. But they had a chance.

And then Nina, believing she had no other options left when Grisha were threatening to kill Matthias, betrayed him - and in doing so, she knew full well, was forced to betray herself. She fought for his freedom for a year, staying in Kerch when she could have just gone home, endangering her life and getting herself in debt to a gang leader in her attempts to save him, knowing all the while that Matthias would not forgive her and would, she now believed, never have the chance to undo all the hatred that had been forged upon him and learn to be the boy he could have been without the abuse of Jarl Brum. And when she finally managed to help him escape, the first thing he did was try to choke her to death.

Nina, now 17, travelled back not just to the country she was to be killed in and that she was shipwrecked and stranded in, but to the very place where her death sentence would have been held: The Ice Court. She was part of the crew that broke in and out of the most fortified prison in the world, and whilst she was there she learnt the Drüskelle leader, who had killed hundreds of her people and abused Matthias for years on end, whom she believed had drowned on the shipwreck a year ago was not only still alive but had also begun to experiment on her people with an impossibly addictive and life-endangering drug to use them as slaves in his army - in his words “these creatures were made to be weapons”. Only minutes after learning this she believes Matthias has betrayed her and that she will be the next victim of the drug, only for him to attack Jarl Brum, save her life, and vow that he will do everything in his power to learn how to change, and that he will protect her for the rest of their lives.

But upon their escape of the Ice Court, Nina (still seventeen) realised that she and her friends were trapped by the Drüskelle and had no options left but to be taken captive and/or killed (I’m mostly putting the and/or there for Kuwei, I expect the others would’ve been killed where they stood). So Nina turned around and took the drug, unbelievably addictive and life-endangering after a single exposure, so that she would have enough power to save her friends’ lives. She spent the following weeks/months horrendously ill, battled addiction for months on end following it, suffered the fear of her closest friend being kidnapped and knowing she was unable to help, and for long periods of time basically waiting for the drug to kill her. Nina survived, but then she had new problems to contend with. She found that the drug had altered her Grisha power, something not only that she had defined herself by her entire life but also what she had been taught was why she was valued. Nina felt that she was no longer part of the world she grew up in and relied upon, but over time as Matthias unlearned everything he’d been through and began to plan to change a nation’s thinking, Nina learned to accept, use, and love her newfound power.

They had such a chance, they had so much ahead of them, they could have done so much together. And then Matthias was shot and killed by a Drüskelle child soldier (I think he was 14?) who was being manipulated and abused the same way he once was whilst Matthias tried to convince him to change his mind, and then he died in Nina’s arms. Matthias was 18. Nina was 17.

NINA IS IN FOUR BOOKS. WHAT I’VE SAID SO FAR IS ONLY FROM TWO OF THEM.

It has been a long time since I read KoS/RoW and also I’ve been going on for way too long so this is going to be in a nutshell but here we go: Nina was sent on another mission to Fjerda by the Ravkan government, to give her the opportunity to bury Matthias at home and to gather intelligence on the country. She begins to develop feelings for Hanne, a Grisha heartrender hiding their abilities in order to survive, only to discover that Hanne is JARL BRUM’S CHILD. She meets the Drüskelle who killed Matthias and endangers herself on a daily basis living with the Brum family hiding who she really is. And as the situation only gets more and more complicated and the intelligence she’s gathering only starts running deeper and deeper, Nina ends up stuck with the Fjerdan government IN the Ice Court, hiding who she is and her abilities, alongside Hanne doing the same, FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE.

And yet through everything Nina continues to be unbelievably strong, in every sense of the word, she is compassionate and wonderful and brave and yes, she’s quick-witted and flirty and she loves a good joke but that isn’t all she is, that’s a testament to her ability to maintain herself and her core of who she is after going through so much.

PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU, STOP REDUCING NINA ZENIK TO COMEDIC RELIEF. NINA IS FUNNY AND FLIRTY AND SHE LOVES JOKES, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT’S ALL SHE IS

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

Matthias's hypocrisy

I get that Matthias was a product of indoctrination but his hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance is truly appalling.

When Nina pointed at the evidence of what his country does to people like her, suddenly it was not him. The others did it and the dead Grisha were given a fair trial(something he believes her kind does not deserve). So it was not a big deal as they did the right thing.

He tells what happened to his family(I'm convinced that those were Brum's action to increase druskelle recruits). He is holding Nina accountable but he refuses to take any himself. He is justified in killing any and all Grisha however when the Grisha retaliate it shows their evilness. He mocks them as 'precious, persecuted Grisha' just after Nina saw a pyre of her dead colleagues. This is the peak of his cognitive dissonance. He thinks his cause is personal while hers is not.

If this isn't indoctrination at its finest then I don't know what is.

1)My pain is bigger than yours. I'm the victim, not you.

2)One of yours did something vile so all of you are vile.

3)I'm allowed to kill you because I'm doing Djel's work but you cannot retaliate.

4)I'm a holy warrior and my fight is for a righteous cause unlike yours.

5)You are not human, you are an abomination. Killing you is basically cleansing the lands.

And finally we have this gem.

We don't see Grisha hanging trophies of dead druskelle in the Little palace. Circling back to LB calling both parties as soldiers in war can be refuted by the above little nugget alone. One is in war for the purpose of committing hate crime while the other is defending or retaliating. So, as much LB wants to refuse, she wrote a nazi/jew romance.

[lunarthecorvus]

For the soc asks: 6, 22 , and 27!

6. Are there any aspects of a character or plot that you wished had been delved into more in the duology?

I wish we'd gone more into Matthias' life before his family was killed and Wylan's life with his father both before and after Marya was taken away.

Not much more, but I'd like to know a little bit more about Pim, Anika, Specht, and Rotty

22. Is there any parallels between characters or scenes you think about a lot?

I have posted about this on tumblr, but Matthias and Kazs parallels, they have so many parallels, and it's not spoken about much. I will sum it up. First, the joining a gang (druskelle) for survival, not for comradeship, and they both mention how they do not want it, and they both distance themselves from the other in their gang (Yes, I'm calling the druskelle a gang). Second, dead parents and a dead sibling. Third, their need for revenge. Hear me out. Matthias grew hateful of Grisha due to Brum feeding his anger and directing it into hate and hunting grisha was almost him getting revenge. And I don't need to explain Kaz's thing with revenge.

I just thought of another parallel. Inej and Jesper. I will be writing a post on this (when I can be bothered so probably never)

27. Was there any scene(s) that hit you harder than expected?

Now, this is gonna sound like an unusual answer, but Matthias' death. Ok, so I personally don't get that sad at characters' deaths, and I did know that he was going to die before I read it because I heard spoilers. BUT DAMN I was so fucking sad and I was extra miserable for like a week after I read it. I was so shocked by how much it hurt to read and fuck it hurt.

(I am still heartbroken because of it, but I'm in severe denial, and in my headcanons, he lives so...)

[jeremysknoxes]

i would like to inform you that the peppa pig fic is not the only crackfic i have written, me and @nothingbetterthanrevenge have written a katthias crackfic as well :) i'll put it here bc why not but it is also not finished

Matthias was sent on a mission to find lost Grisha in Ketterdam when he met Kazoo Dazzle,a (emo)tionally constipated gang leader. At first, they hated each other and Matty thought he was seeing things when he first saw Kazoo because he's so pale he looked like a ghost. Then Kazoo revealed he goes by Kaz and because it sounds close to cheese Matty hated him even more.

Matthias went to eat at Sten’s Stockpot and ended up feeling very sick. He vomited on a tree and felt very ashamed of himself and Kaz sees him vomit. At first, they started arguing and then Kazoo said he wasn't disgusted at the vomiting but at the vomit on the tree. Matthias was shocked to find someone with the same respect for trees that he did. After Matthias went to eat at Sten’s Stockpot he felt violently ill. He collapsed on the floor. Kazoo saw his face turn green and ran over. Kazoo asked Matthias what he had eaten. He told him about Sten's stockpot. Kazoo realized he's dying and grabbed cheese out of his glove and fed it to Matthias. Kazoo saved Matthias’s life. 

Matty developed a taste for cheese because of Kaz, and because Kaz= cheese, Matty fell in love. But because Kazzy hadn’t realized he’s not just straight he worried he was sick when he saw Matty. They ended up becoming friends because of the cheese. Eventually, Kazoo and Matty realized that they're gay for each other, but Matty didn’t accept it because of his religious obligations and Kazoo didn't accept it because he's supposed to be big, bad, and scary.

Kazzy started showing his "friendship" in little ways, like giving Matty cheese perfume and cheese flavoured crack and Matty reciprocated his feelings, by gifting Kazoo a life-time supply of cheese gift card. Then, Jarl Brum found out and because he hated cheese, he decided that Matty should be killed. Kaz found out about this and he shoved Matty behind some cheese crates. They confessed their love for each other.

Kazoo and Matty go on the run where they found work in a cheese factory. Eventually, neither Kazoo nor Matty could deny their chemistry. so, on the day they both had a day off in the cheese factory, Kaz decided to propose to Matty with a cheese ring. Little did he know that Matty was planning the same thing. They both went down on their knees, and proposed to each other with all their coworkers watching in disgust because the cheese smelled a bit bad. The cheese was moldy. Kazoo and Matty journeyed to Shu Han where everyone tried to kill them and they found new cheese. Everyone tried to kill them because that cheese was sacred and the two of them stole it and ate it all. Kazzy and Matty decided to go back to Ketterdam where they found Wylan. Matty immediately ran off with him because Wylan managed to make Jarl Brum like cheese. Kaz was heartbroken, and he vowed revenge. 

Kaz returned to Ketterdam, vowing revenge on Wylan and Matty. He rebuilded his reputation,slowly building up trust one Dreg by one Dreg, until the Dregs became the strongest gang in the barrel. Meanwhile, Wylan and Matty made it to Novyi Zem, where Matty and Wylan realized their differences and go their separate ways. Matty decided he didn’t like the warmth and realizes his true love for Kazoo, and he regretted his impulse decision. Wylan decides to take a job on a local farmer’s farm, who moved here from The Wandering Isles many moons ago. The farmer’s name was Colm Fahey, and he was a widower. His son Jesper is extremely impulsive, and a very talented shooter. Wylan saw him and immediately had a crush on him. On the other side of the ocean, Kaz started to scheme for Matty’s “punishment”. Everytime he smelt moldy cheese, he had to stop and go to one side to stop the tears from leaking out. When he thought of cheese, he had to bury his face into a pillow. Matty was also not faring very well. When he looked at a tree, his posture immediately slumps, thinking of Sten’s Stockpot, until the memories overpowered him so much that he can’t hold it back and starts sobbing. Vowing to make things right with Kazoo, he booked a ticket to Ketterdam to go see Kazoo Dazzle.

Kaz, learning about Matthias coming back to Ketterdam, ordered three barrels of moldy cheese perfume, to remind Matty of the love he lost. Matthias was extremely anxious on the bus ride over, and brings with him a moldy cheese ring. He dreamt of reuniting with Kazoo and begging for an apology. When Matty arrives at the docks, Kaz was there, waiting for the boat. Matthias, upon sighting Kazoo, immediately was filled with anxiety.

Upon seeing Matty, Kazoo immediately was filled with anger and hatred. He couldn't believe that he 

fell for that Druskelle who ran off with a merchling at first sight. Matty, sensing the tension, shows his moldy ring. Kaz's expression tensed. He snapped his fingers and immediately, 10 Dregs popped out of nowhere and proceeded to squirt moldy-cheese perfume all over Matty. Pushing his hair out of his face, Kaz said, "You should have thought before running off with that dyslexic fool. How could you, Matty? I... I thought our love was real! I... I thought you actually accepted me and my cheesy tendencies!" Tears started pouring out of Matty's eyes (but that could be because of the perfume). He told Kazoo that the moment he and Wylan landed in Novyi Zem, Wylan ran off with a farmer's son. That made him realize how very dear Kazoo was to him, and how what they had was real.

Out of nowhere, Jarl Brum walked out, munching on a cracker with spray cheese on it. He froze. Matty notices that his former mentor wasn’t doing well, and that his eyes were a slightly tinged yellow. Cheese yellow, he realized. Jarl’s face was full of white cheesy powder, and he hadn’t brushed his hair in ages. Jarl screamed “GET THAT ROGUE MATTY!!” Kazoo and Matty instantly ran off and hid behind a bush. They heard Jarl bark out orders, screaming to his druskelle to go this way or that way. Kazoo and Matty, while Jarl was distracted, darted out and fled to the barrel. “What did you do, Kazzy? Why does Jarl look like that?” Kazoo explained. “Jarl Brum got addicted to cheese crack, which had the unfortunate side effect of making him look like he was made out of cheese. Now, cheese crack is a part of the druskelle training process. Fjerda has changed it’s name to Cheeseda, and the entire nation is slowly turning into the biggest producer of cheese.” 

Matty felt a mixed emotion that was a cross between revulsion and happiness. “So.. Fjerda is no longer banning cheese?”

“Cheeseda, actually, but yes. Cheeseda has declared the law banning cheese extinct.”

Matty felt a huge sigh of relief. “So, Kazoo. I…”

Kaz shut him up. “Matty. Why did you run away? I thought we were in love!” Matty explained all the cheese crack and how as soon he and Wylan had arrived at Noyvi Zem, they had realized their differences and parted ways. “I love you, Kazoo, but I love the cheese even more!”

Kazoo gave Matty a side eye and then started to laugh. Kazoo gave Matty a side eye and then started to laugh.

The laugh was not one that Matthias had heard in days prior. It was a sinister laugh, one that was carefully calculated to be the perfect amount of evil and cold. But yet, he detected a twang under the laugh. Was that pain? he wondered. Kazoo, still with that twinge of pain, chortled out one more laugh, and finally said something to Matty. 

“Don’t we all love cheese?” he said. “No, what I’m more upset about is the fact that you kazually ran off and broke my heart with that mercher’s boy! Oh, I know Wylan and his father very well, and I know where he is now. I have contacts in other countries, Matty! In fact, Jesper Fahey is a dear friend of mine. We met when I went to Novyi Zem.”

“For what?”

Kaz’s smile looked pained. “Cheese crack. The Dregs are one of the biggest exporters.”

“Ah.” 

Now Kaz looked close to tears. “I TRUSTED YOU! I gave nearly everything I had except for my cheese stocks, and you gave me nothing. NOTHING.” 

“Kaz- wait- KAZ!” 

“DONT KAZ ME!” Kazoo yelled. 

“KAZOO! I only ran away to find this!” Matty knelt on the ground and pulled out a mouldy cheese ring.

[call-me-sunpaw]

My favorite Grishaverse theory: Jarl Brum is a grisha

Nikolai duology spoilers

Which would make him the most hypocritical character ever, but that's why I love this theory

First of all, remember that druskelle shipwreck? The one with only three known survivors? These survivors were Nina, Matthias and Brum. Nina and Matthias survived only due to Nina's grisha (heartrender) powers (and they still barely made it), so how did Brum survive? I like to think that's because he's a grisha, too.

Secondly, his child, Hanne(?), is literally a grisha. A quite powerful one, even. As far as I remember, it's not clear in canon whether grisha powers are genetic, but judging from Jesper's dad being afraid Jesper might be a grisha since his mother was, or Darkling inheriting his mother's powers or that whole terrifying thing with Gafalle in KoS, they probably are. Which would mean that even if it's not one (or both...) of Hanne's parents, someone else in the Brum family should be a grisha.

Also, Hanne is a corporalki and Jarl should probably be one too bc that's the type of grisha power that let Nina and Matthias survive the shipwreck.

Thirdly, what's the best way to hide that you're a grisha? Tell everyone how much you hate them! Or lead an organization that hunts grishas, that's even better! You're the last person in the world to be suspected of being a grisha. You and your grisha child are safe and you hold an important position of power in a country that hates people like you. Is it morally correct? Definitely not, but we all know Jarl isn't a good person.

Anyway, I hope this makes sense

[anthony-sharma]

Six of Crows Reread - Ch. 20

Chapter 20: Nina

_

“She’d tailored him again just this morning, enduring his glowers and grumbling. No, enjoying them, grateful for the excuse to be near him, ridiculously pleased every time she brought him close to a laugh. Saints, why do I care? Why did one smile from Matthias Helvar feel like fifty from someone else? She’d felt his heart race when she’d tipped his head back to work on his eyes. She’d thought about kissing him. She’d wanted to kiss him, and she was pretty sure he’d been thinking the same thing. Or maybe he was thinking about strangling me again.”

Omg enemies to lovers at its finest! I do wonder, though, how this storyline will work in the context of the show because, as we saw in Helnik’s last scene, they look at each other longingly, Matthias realizing that Nina came for him once more. He didn’t look like someone who hated her, so I don’t know what’s gonna happen between then and the beginning of Six of Crows for both of them to hate each other this much. 

“Every morning he complained that she was impossible to wake.

“It’s like trying to raise a corpse.”

It’s funny how that ends up being her power later on. Leigh really was giving us little, tiny clues all along. 

“Jer molle pe oonet. Enel mörd je nej afva trohem verretn. ” I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath.”

How does Leigh come up with the most poetic things?? Like??!! And to think that Nina is the one saying this phrase first, which is the one Matthias later tells her?? Dude!!

“I will always be a threat to you, Matthias.”

The corner of his mouth pulled up in a rueful smile. His eyes were almost sorrowful. “I know.”

I love this! It’s like he can’t help but be sad about the fact that because of who they are, they are destined to fight for opposite sides and be enemies. The angst is done so well!!

“You must find a way to make peace,” said Inej. “At least for a while.”

“This is not your concern,” Matthias growled.

Kaz stepped forward, his expression dangerous. “It is very much our concern. And watch your tone.”

So when Helnik snaps at Jesper it’s fine, but when Matthias snaps at Inej, Kaz snaps back, defending her? That’s interesting, Kaz. Your feelings are very much not showing here. 

“She lifted her hands. “How about I crack your skull open like a robin’s egg?”

“You don’t want a look at what’s inside my head, Nina dear.”

I can’t wait to see Kaz throw around terms of endearment like “darling” or “dear”. We see him in the show as being very stern and, although he is, he has very much a sense of humor that we don’t get to see much of in the show, so I can’t wait for them to show it in the spin off. 

“Matthias nodded. “The Fjerdans believe all the world is connected through its waters – the seas, the ice, the rivers and streams, the rain and storms. All feed Djel and are fed by him. When we die, we call it felöt-objer, taking root. We become as roots of the ash tree, drinking from Djel wherever we are laid.”

“Is that why you burn Grisha instead of burying them?”

He paused, then gave a brief nod.

“But you’ll help me lay Nestor and the Squaller to rest here?”

He nodded again.

[...]

She’d stopped then, the truth of their situation returning to her with terrible clarity. She was deep in enemy territory with no allies but a drüskelle who’d thrown her in a cage only a few weeks earlier.

But before she could speak, Matthias had said, “I owe you my life, Nina Zenik. We will get you safely home.”

He really can’t help being decent and I loved that even after years of brainwashing by Brum, his decency didn’t die. Even when she trekked through Fjerda with Nina after they were shipwrecked, it only took him all of 3 weeks to sound and speak freer than before! 

“He knew her well. With every new thing she’d learned of jurda parem, she’d been more certain that the only way to protect Grisha was to end the scientist’s life. She thought of Nestor begging with his last breath for his Shu masters to return. “I can’t bear the thought of my people being slaves,” she admitted. “But we have a debt to settle, Matthias. The pardon is my penance, and I won’t be the person who keeps you from your freedom again.”

I can just imagine how heavy Nina’s burden was when it came to Matthias, and it must have felt horrible for her, for her to want to settle her debt to Matthias instead of protecting Grisha lives by wanting to not let Yul-Bayur live. 

“In those days after the shipwreck, she and Matthias had formed an uneasy truce. What had grown up between them had been something fiercer than affection – an understanding that they were both soldiers, that in another life, they might have been allies instead of enemies. She felt that now.”

This last part of the quote oddly sounds like that last one, after Matthias dies when Leigh writes that both Nina and Matthias were twin souls, destined to be soldiers fighting for opposing sides, and destined to lose each other too quickly. 

Next up, we see what Inej, Kaz, Jesper and Wylan have been discussing while Nina and Matthias were doing their funeral rites for the drugged up Grisha. 

[rubysunnday]

rooftops

A/N: The finale to my part in Olive's (@lxncelot) , writing challenge! This is fic 3 out of 3 (congrats if you made it this far, well done!) Again, prompts are all from Olive's dialogue and song prompt list) : 3) “I’ll miss this — us.” | 17) “Are we friends?”`| 26) “I could be in love with someone like you.” | rooftop kiss — james horner

Fic 1 | Fic 2 | Fic 3

The wind was howling outside the whaling hut. It was so harsh the windows and doors were rattling in their frames, fighting to stay put. But the two occupants inside didn't notice. They were both too cold and uncomfortable and pointedly ignoring the other to do much more than sit by the fire, bundled in furs, wearing someone else's clothes underneath.

Of course, they were both as far apart from each other as physically possible whilst also staying within the warmth of the fire. Matthias was silent. Y/N was silent. Neither said a word.

Matthias leant forward and poked the fire with the poker, nudging the logs around. They sparked and crackled as fresh wood was added, feeding the fire. Matthias glanced over at Y/N, barely visible under the furs. "You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"That does not matter," Matthias said, leaning back. "Because you're so cold it means you don't feel hunger. Your body needs to eat."

"I'm fine. I just want to sleep," Y/N muttered, tightening the furs around her, trying to block him out.

Matthias looked back at the pot that was simmering over the fire. "If you sleep, you'll likely not wake up again."

"Oh, good, that saves you from having to kill me," Y/N said, refusing to look at him.

"If I was going to kill you, I would have done it by now," Matthias replied, rolling his eyes as he spooned the soup into two bowls. "Now, eat," he said, holding the bowl out to her.

Y/N reluctantly reached out a hand from underneath the furs and took the bowl, putting it on the floor in front of her. "And if I don't want to eat?"

"Then you'll succumb to hypothermia and pass out," Matthias said, shrugging. "All Drüskelle learn that mistake in their first few months. Most recover. Some don't. Brum always says that a Drüskelle-"

"If I eat the damn soup, will you shut up?" Y/N snapped, turning to glare at him.

Matthias nodded. He watched Y/N intently as she picked up the bowl and took a small sip of the soup, letting it digest before taking another sip.

"It's good soup," she reluctantly admitted, dipping her spoon back in. "If you've poisoned it, I won't mind dying this way."

"For Saint's sake," Matthias muttered, swearing in Fjerdan under his breath. "I haven't poisoned it! I am eating it too."

Y/N raised her eyebrows but returned to her soup.

Silence fell in the whaling hut again.

"You can have the bed."

Y/N looked over at Matthias as she finished her soup. "Don't be ridiculous, there's room for two of us." Matthias was silent so Y/N looked at him again. "Oh, don't tell me little Matthias is scared of sleeping next to a woman."

"I am not..." He paused, forcing himself to calm down. "I am not scared."

"Good, then we will before sleep in the bed," Y/N said, standing up, setting her half-eaten soup aside.

Matthias reluctantly stood up too. He watched as Y/N clambered onto the bed, wrapping herself up in the furs and getting comfortable.

"Oh for Saint's sake, stop being such a prune and come here," she snapped. "You're the one going on about hypothermia and yet you're over there, freezing."

"I'm fine."

"Oh, look how the tables have turned," she muttered.

Matthias climbed into the other side of the bed and lay down on the very edge - as far away as possible from Y/N.

"Drüskelle," she said, turning her head to look at him. "Do you want to freeze to death? No? Then move closer."

He shuffled closer.

"Closer."

Mattthias shuffled even closer. Y/N could feel his cold skin against her back and shivered slightly.

"There, now neither of us will die in the night and we can go back to hating each other in the morning, happy?"

Matthias grunted, burying himself under the furs. Y/N turned onto her side and pulled the furs up over her shoulder, tucking them around her. She closed her eyes and wriggled down a bit, getting comfortable.

The wind kept on howling.

Matthias awoke suddenly as something jolted him. He sat up, expecting to see Y/N standing over him with a knife, about to cut out his heart. But the room was empty. It took him a moment to realise that someone was crying and that the someone was lying next to him.

He looked down at her and could see the tears falling down her face, the terror clearly written on her face as she relived something. Matthias wasn't sure why, but he felt his heart ache for the girl. He wasn't immune to nightmares - no one was.

Part of him wanted to leave her. A Grisha deserved to live through the terrors they had seen as punishment. But he couldn't believe that this girl - barely younger than him - could be so heartless and brutal. at such a young age, what could she have possibly experienced and seen that would have traumatised her in such a way.

Matthias reached out a hand and put it on her shoulder, shaking her gently. "Roëd," he said, for he didn't know her true name. Neither one had decided to share that information.

Y/N let out a panicked yelled and sat up, almost falling out of the bed. She pushed Matthias' hand away, flinging back all of the furs until she was just in the shirt and pants she'd found in the corner of the hut. Y/N pushed herself up from the bed and bolted from the room and out into the cold, cold night.

Matthias quickly got up and followed after her, not wanting her to get lost in the Fjerdan landscape or end up being attacked because, despite the death threats and the mutual hated, he did care for her. She'd saved him from the shipwreck and, somehow, they were still going.

Y/N fell to her knees in the snow - in the dark - and plunged her hands into the cold, wet snow, needing it to ground her and wake her up from her nightmare. Matthias stood in the doorway, watching warily in the background.

"Sorry," Y/N said quietly, her voice almost being lost in the wind. She sniffled and ducked her head, hiding her face. "I'm sorry."

Matthias approached cautiously. He hovered behind her for a moment before kneeling down behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Don't be sorry for something you can't control."

Y/N chuckled, a shiver wracking through her body. "You surprised that Grisha have nightmares too?" She asked, turning to look at him. "That we're human?"

Matthias was silent. Y/N scoffed quietly, knowing she was right.

Their silent argument ended abruptly when a wolf let out a loud howl, only a few feet away. Both Y/N and Matthias looked up, struggling to see the animal through the dark and blinding snow.

The wolf stalked forward, baring its teeth at Y/N. She didn't move.

"Don't attack it," Matthias said quietly, slowly rising to his feet.

"No offence, Drüskelle, but I'm not going to let a wolf attack me because it's a sacred animal to you," Y/N hissed.

"Just wait," Matthias insisted. "Let him move first. If he attacks first then we know."

"And if he just stands there?"

"Then we wait."

The wolf snarled, taking another step forward. It howled. And then turned around and walked off.

"Get up, slowly," Matthias said, holding a hand out to Y/N.

Y/N reached behind her and took his hand, letting him pull her into his side. Matthias wrapped an arm around her shoulders, trying to warm Y/N up, as they watched the wolf walk off into the night.

"I've never seen a wolf just leave before," Y/N said quietly, shivering under Matthias' arm.

"They're mainly peaceful if not provoked," Matthias replied.

"As are Grisha."

Matthias looked down at her, his eyes finding hers. He looked at her for a moment in silence. Y/N looked up at him. She met his gaze for only a few seconds before she swayed against him, her knees giving out and plunging her back into the snow.

Matthias fell to the snow with her, pulling her into his side and putting an arm under her legs, another around her back, and lifting her up out of the snow. He carried her back inside, sitting her in front of the fire.

He grabbed the furs off the bed and piled them onto her, wrapping them around her shivering form. Y/N didn't protest, her eyes closing involuntarily as she tried to stay focused on the fire.

"Now who's dying of hypothermia," she muttered, her teeth chattering as she gave Matthias a half-hearted smile.

Matthias sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her shoulder as he tried to warm her up.

"For a man who hunts Grisha for a living, you are very determined to keep me alive," Y/N said quietly.

Matthias sighed to himself. "It was Grisha who killed my entire family. They set the village on fire and let it burn. My mother, sister and father all died. Because of Grisha."

Y/N was silent. Eventually, she spoke, her eyes focused on the fire. "Not all Grisha are good, Druskelle. Not all Grisha are bad. Like people. The Grisha who murdered your family are the minority. We are not all like that. And we are certainly not witches. We create from elements that already exist in the world."

"Such as?"

Y/N pulled her arm out from under the furs. She looked up at Matthias. "Are we friends?"

Matthias nodded. "We are."

Y/N nodded. She held her hand palm up and then made a scooping motion, her eyes closed. She felt Matthias stiffen as fire appeared in her hand, orange flames dancing around her fingers.

"It's not magic. I simply summon all the combustible gases in the world, for there are thousands, and fire appears." Y/N waved her hand and the fire vanished. She pulled her hand back inside the furs. "That's all it is. Small Science, as we call it. No magic."

Matthias nodded. He didn't seem to be able to speak. He eventually decided on what he wanted to say. "What was your nightmare about? Only if you want to tell me."

Y/N shifted closer to Matthias. "I'm sure you've heard of General Kirigan - or the Darkling."

"I think it'd be impossible to find someone in all of Ravka, Fjerda and beyond who hasn't heard of it."

"It?"

"It was not a man, nor a human. It is simply it."

Y/N smiled to herself. It slowly faded as she returned to her mind. "I was a Grisha under his orders when Sankt Alina first appeared. I was fresh out of school - a young Grisha desperate to prove herself. And he used me like he used hundreds of others. I was trapped under his control until King Nikolai broke us out.

"But the Darkling had done enough by then. Being used by him - controlled by him is something I do not wish to repeat. Sometimes in the night, I think I see him. I know he is long dead and burnt but... I hear his voice in the wind, I see his shadows in the darkness and all I can think about is what he did to me."

Matthias was silent. He knew about the Darkling. Everyone did. But very few knew about what it did to the young Grisha under its command.

"My name is Y/N Y/L/N, by the way," Y/N said quietly. "I feel like since I'm pouring my heart out to you, we should know each other's names."

Matthias smiled. "I'm Matthias Helvar."

Y/N nodded. She dropped her head onto Matthias' shoulder. "Nice to meet you, Matthias."

Matthias sat there, an arm around her shoulders, watching the flames dance away until morning came.

It took them five days to find civilisation. The snowstorm passed after three days and it took them two days of walking - and almost falling off a cliff - to reach safety.

The inn wasn't much - it was full of Fjerdan sailors on their way out or back from long trips out at sea. But it was warm and it was safe - for now.

"I don't know how I feel about stealing," Matthias said as Y/N unlocked the door to their room.

"I didn't steal, I borrowed," Y/N corrected, walking inside.

"Are you going to give it back?"

"Indirectly, yes."

Matthias laughed. Y/N stared at him.

"Saints, Matthias, I didn't know you could laugh!" She exclaimed.

Matthias chuckled as he took his coat off and sat down on the bed, stretching his legs out.

"It appears we have learnt a lot about each other this past week," he said softly, smiling at her.

Y/N approached him and sat down on his right, dropping her head to his shoulder. "You know, I have no idea what Roëd means."

"What?"

"The other night, when I was having a nightmare, you called me Roëd..."

Matthias' smile grew. "It means red in Fjerdan."

"Red? Why red?"

"Well, when we first met -"

"When you kidnapped me, you mean."

Matthias rolled his eyes. "You were wearing a red skirt, like the one you're wearing now. Since I didn't know your name... I thought Roëd was subtle."

Y/N nodded, a smile working its way onto her face. "I like it."

Matthias put his arm around Y/N's shoulders - an action he'd found himself doing numerous times over the past week. He ran his thumb up and down her arm, gently following an imaginary line.

"What will you do now?" Matthias asked quietly.

The question had been praying on his mind for days now. What happens next. He could easily go back to Brum, resume his training, tell his tale. Y/N could easily return to wherever she came from - carry on leaving her life. Nothing would change.

Except something had changed. The world had shifted. Just a bit, but enough to know that there was no going back to the before.

"Find a ship back to Ketterdam," Y/N said softly. Her left hand was entwined with his, her fingers playing with his. "Tell my boss what happened and hope he gives me my job back. What about you?"

"I don't know."

"Have I changed you that much, Druskelle?" Y/N asked, tilting her head up to look at him.

Matthias looked down at her. "Perhaps. What is... Ketterdam like?"

"First of all, excellent pronunciation," Y/N said, looking back down again. "Second of all, it's shit."

"Then why would you want to go back?"

"Because it was the only place to welcome me after I left Ravka. I fitted in seamlessly there. No questions were asked about me or my powers. I got a job and they treat me well. It works for me."

"I cannot imagine what it must be like to be... persecuted everywhere you go."

"Saints, I have changed you!" Y/N said, looking back at him. She smiled. "It's hard. Trusting people is harder. I haven't used my power in years as a result but... I prefer it that way, oddly. I was used and wanted for my power in Ravka. In Ketterdam I am just me. I'm just Y/N."

Matthias stared at the wall for a moment. "I'd like to go somewhere like that. Where it is simply just... you and I. Simply Y/N and Matthias."

"No prejudice."

"No hatred."

"Just us."

Matthias looked back at her and leaned down, capturing Y/N's lips in a kiss before she had a chance to move. He leant back and pressed his forehead to hers.

"I'll miss this," Matthias said quietly, knowing deep down, that it would inevitably end as all good things did. "Us."

Y/N closed her eyes, pressing her lips together. "You know, Matthias, I could be in love with someone like you."

"I know. As could I."

And that was the truth. She could love him and he could love her. Despite the ways they'd been raised. Despite what they'd lived through and experienced at the hands of their people, both of them, Grisha and Druskelle, could and did love each other.

It was the truth and the pain of it. Knowing that their love was never meant to be.

And that it was never destined to last.

[heartrenderxnina]

Once again, she was dreaming of him.

Even in her dreams, Matthias Helvar haunted her just as much as she seemed to haunt him in his. Nina rolled on the big bed that felt too empty and too cold for her, no matter how heated the rooms were or how warm her bed covers were, the piercing cold temperature of the True Sea was making her shiver and tremble in the comfort of her room.

She was using her power on him and he was supposed to swim for them, that was the deal. “C’me on you big brute! Where is the ferocious Drüskelle training?!” she practically begged. Nina liked swimming, but being in the middle of a storm in the middle of the sea was terrifying. The waves crashed against them and Nina spent most of the time coughing and holding onto him, trying to keep him warm with her powers. She knew it wasn’t his fault, there was only so much he could do. If only she were a tidemaker or a squaller…

“Hurry!” She urged him but the large wave crashed right onto them, dragging them into the depths of the True Sea. 

Nina opened her eyes, gasping for air and coughing as if she had been drowning in her bed.

Her heartbeat was off the charts and it took her a moment to use her gifts on herself until she could breathe properly. Nina ran a trembling hand through her face and hair before checking on her phone: 1:30 am. She thought about texting him, the urge to check up on him was strong, but she then admonished herself.

He’s not a baby, Nina. It was just a nightmare.

So she let her body collapse against all the pillows and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to sleep, the memories of the shipwreck and her captivity still chased her through her dreams. The bullying, the torture, the starving… the thirst.

Saints, Nina had never been thirstier. She had never thought she would crave so much for something as simple as a glass of water, like she did during those days chained in that ship. It seemed almost ironic; how could someone be so thirsty while also being surrounded by that much water? Just when she thought she was going to pass out of thirst, he came. Oh, if only he hadn’t given her that glass of water.

“I do like you.”

“What was that?”

“I do like you,” he said angrily.

She’d beamed, feeling a well of pleasure erupt through her. “Now, really, is that so bad?”

“Yes!” he roared.

“Why?”

“Because you’re horrible. You’re loud and lewd and . . . treacherous. Brum warned us that Grisha could be charming.”

“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I have beguiled you with my Grisha wiles!”

She poked him in the chest.

“Stop that.”

“No. I’m beguiling you.”

“Quit it.”

She danced around him in the snow, poking his chest, his stomach, his side. “Goodness! You’re very solid. This is strenuous work.” He started to laugh. “It’s working! The beguiling has begun. The Fjerdan has fallen. You are powerless to resist me.”

And then the ground give up on her and Nina fell. She grasped the edge of the ground and held on for her life, the ground was so cold that it burnt her skin. She felt the Drüskelle holding her arms, preventing her from slipping into the pit. Her legs were suspended on the air and her furs had already vanished in the void. Nina looked up at him, her green eyes filled with tears. “Please”.

He had been trying to help her, that was until her eyes connected and it was as if something within him switched. Somehow, Matthias’ eyes looked even colder than the Permafrost.

“No, please”, Nina begged, but it was too late. She always thought that hatred was something that burnt within someone, but no, hate was cold, it wasn’t fire, it was ice. The witch hunter didn’t let go of her, but rather pushed her into the void as he muttered the word ‘Drusje’.

This time Nina woke up crying; hot, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she panted heavily and sobbed inconsolably. That wasn’t what actually happened, Matthias did help her, but that nightmare was very present in her sleeping hours. Back in the Permafrost, there was a moment in which she thought he was going to let her fall and she sometimes wondered if, right now, whatever they had was real or was just part of a big scheme to punish her for what happened in that village.

Nina grabbed her phone and scrolled through her social media as she tried to calm herself down. She sniffed as her finger moved through the screen. Before she knew it, she opened his text messages and started to type one but then paused. She was being too annoying, looking for his validation when half of her dreams about him consisted on him murdering her. Whether it was by letting her drown in the sea or falling into that pit in the Permafrost. 

Sometimes Nina would dream of the two of them entangled in warm and fluffy furs, finally succumbing to their passions, eager to touch and please one another until his large hand would grab her by the throat. She would always smile at first, thinking it was a kink of his, but then the grip on her would become tighter and tighter and his warm and affectionate gaze would turn stone cold. Nina would tell him to stop, but that would only encourage to squeeze harder until she blacked out.

The Grisha felt the cold shivers running down her spine. “For Saint’s sake, Nina” she whispered bitterly, placing her phone away and turned over on the bed.

She closed her eyes, rnot at all eady to jump into the next nightmare when her phone buzzed in the darkness. “Fucking Kaz, he better not…” she began as she grabbed her phone and stopped when she saw his name instead:

I dreamt you turned into the moon and filled every night of mine with laughter.

It was both embarrassing and pathetic how fast the smile came to her lips.

I am a very funny lady. She wrote and hit send. What a clown. No, that wasn’t enough.

I love you, and I wish you were here with me. She sent right after and his answer arrived even faster.

Me too, Little red bird.

[thebadgerclan]

Kidnapped

Pairing: Nina Zenik x daughter!reader (Matthias x Nina)

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: You’ve been kidnapped...

A/N: I think for pairings like this (where it’s mainly a platonic pairing but a background romantic pairing) I’ll put the romantic pairing in parenthesis and tag that ship too

The letter was on Nina and Matthias’ front stoop when they returned from the market.  As soon as Matthias saw the handwriting on the front, his blood ran cold.  You’d recently displayed your Heartrender abilities, taking after your mother, which was more than exciting for her, but terrifying for your father.  Matthias was now a high ranking drüskelle, working side by side with Jarl Brum, which put you in a dangerous position.  Matthias no longer felt the hatred for Grisha he once had; with his wife and daughter possessing the divine gifts as he now called them, but every single day, he feared for your lives.

I have found out about your abomination of a daughter, the letter read.  I thought you better, Mathias, but fraternizing with druje, I truly expected more.  She is not dead, I have given her that mercy, but you will never see her again.  It is for the best, Matthias, now your slate is cleared, this stain washed away.  You may hate me now, but I promise, you will thank me later.  Yours truly, -Jarl Brum.

“I will murder him!” Matthias raged, and Nina flexed her fingers beside him.  “Only if I don’t get to him first.”  The bone shards in her sleeves vibrated, hungry for action, and Nina vowed to herself that they would see bloodshed this day.  Words didn’t need to be exchanged, Matthias and Nina were saddling their horses and riding to the Ice Court, fury and vengeance in their veins.

It took every ounce of Matthias’ willpower to keep a calm facade as he took Nina’s arm and entered the Ice Court.  His status aided him here, as no one questioned why Jarl Brum’s most trusted drüskelle was entering the prison sector with his wife, no one would dare.  But as soon as they were out of the guards’ line of sight, they were running; Matthias gripping the handle of his whip, Nina reaching out with her power for anyone she might need to call to her side.

“We need to split up,” Matthias said, and she nodded.  “We’ll cover more ground.”  “Leave him alive if you find him,” Nina said.  “I want to see the life drain from his wretched eyes.”  Matthias nodded, squeezing his wife’s hand as they parted.  For a moment, alone in the corridor, Nina felt like she was back with the Dregs, like Kaz was right around the corner, that Inej needed to scale the incinerator shaft.

But that was the past.  Then, it was 30 million kruge on the line, now it was you, her precious daughter, and that occupied all of Nina’s focus.  She reached out with her power, seeking the warm spot in the cold river of death.  It was odd: you were the only living thing her power could sense.  Perhaps it was because you were her child, but Nina couldn’t focus on that now.

As she ran, Nina looked into every cell, seeing only emaciated men.  But then, she felt you, and Nina ran as fast as her legs could carry her towards that feeling.  It’s miraculous: what a mother can do when her child is in danger.  Such miracles enabled Nina to tear the steel door from its hinges, revealing you, her sweet baby girl; dirty, clothed torn, eyes filled with tears, hands bound behind you-taking away your powers-a rag stuffed in your mouth.

Brum stood above you, a knife in his hand, a sick smile on his face.  He didn’t remember her, he didn’t remember the girl who’d scalped him in the harbor all those years ago, he only saw the wife of Matthias Helvar, a good Fjerdan woman who knew her place.  “Step away from my daughter,” Nina warned, but Brum just laughed.  Clearly, he thought a woman was no threat, but Nina Helvar was not just any woman.

“I said,” she repeated, a bit firmer, stepping into the cell.  She did not look at you, she couldn’t, not yet.  If she did, she would break, and she needed to be strong.  “Step.  Away.  From.  My.  Daughter.”  Brum merely laughed again, the tip of the knife dangerously close to your cheek.  “Truly, Madam Helvar, I am doing you a favor.  Besided, what could you, a mere woman, do to stop me?”

Rage flooded her, and Nina stepped closer, her bone darts positively quivering against her forearms.  “I am not a ‘mere woman’,” she said, voice dangerous.  “I am a Corporalnik, a former soldier of the Second Army, serving under His Majesty King Nikolai.”  She watched as Brum’s face changed to amusement to confusion.  “But you would know me as the Corpsewitch.”  His face changed from confusion to terror, and Nina sent her bone darts flying.

They found their homes in Brum’s carotid arteries, and he toppled.  Nina stood over him, her foot on his neck.  “Ahh, you remember me now?”  “Devil druje, you-”  “Ah ah ah, we wouldn’t want you to bleed out yet, would we?  I believe my husband may have a few things to say to you.”  As if on cue, hurried footsteps were heard from the corridor.

“Nina?!  Nina!”  “In here!” she called back, and the footsteps got closer.  Matthias barreled into the room, his eyes landing on you.  “Oh sweet Djel, Y/N,” he gasped, then, his eyes slid to Brum.  “Nina, what-”  “He had our baby,” she said, voice rough with unshed tears.  “He had our baby, Matthias!  He doesn’t deserve to live.”  Matthias nodded, anger building in him at the sight of his mentor, the man he saw as a father for so many years, bleeding at his wife’s hands, but more so at the knowledge that he’d kidnapped his baby girl.

Matthias looked down at him, a snarl on his face.  “Don’t you dare touch my daughter with your filthy hands,” he growled, and he looked to Nina.  “Will he live?”  “Not if we remove those bones,” she answered, and Matthias nodded.  To her surprise, he knelt beside her, wrapping his fingers around one of the darts.  Nina did the same, and at the same time, they pulled.

A wet, gurgling sound filled the cell before it went silent.  A moment later, your sobs filled the room, and Matthias and Nina rushed to you.  “Sweet girl, we’re here,” Nina said, untying your wrists and removing the gag.  You fell into your father’s arms, gripping his shirt and crying into his chest.  Matthias held you tight, tears falling silently from his eyes.  “I was so scared,” you sobbed.  “I thought… Mama, he was going to kill me.”

“I know, but you’re safe.  He can’t hurt you anymore.  He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”  Nina sat at her husband’s side, and you shifted so you were half in his lap, half in hers.  “I was so scared,” you repeated, and Matthias kissed your head, clutching you so tight to his chest, you couldn’t take a full breath.  “I will always protect you, my darling,” he vowed.  “Nothing will ever hurt you, not as long as I am breathing.”

“Papa,” you cried, and Matthias held you closer, wanting to take away your pain and make it his. “I know, my love, I know.”  Nina was crying now too, and for a good long while, the three of you remained on the ground, crying in each other’s arms, thanking Djel and the Saints that you were safe and unharmed.  “Mama,” you asked.  “Is he... is Commander Brum...dead?”  You felt it, the absence of a heartbeat, no neurons firing, but still, you asked.

“He is, sweetheart,” Nina said, and she stood, helping you to your feet.  Her arms were immediately around you, shielding you and turning you from Brum’s body.  “Matthias, what will we say?”  Matthias stood, straightened his clothes, and looked at you and Nina.  “We will tell the truth.  Well, mostly the truth.  Jarl Brum kidnapped my daughter, and I did what I had to do to defend and protect my family.”

Nina nodded, leading you from the cell, Matthias behind you.  Reports would have to be made, you would likely have to recount your kidnapping, but you were safe, and that was what mattered.  You were tired, bruised, and scarred, but you were alive.  Matthias, as he led you and Nina from the Ice Court made a vow: the drüskelle would change, they would reform.  For his wife and for his daughter.

[avid-author-activist]

the things i would change about rule of wolves

(to be clear, this is not hate on leigh bardugo or even rule of wolves. i love leigh bardugo, and i love rule of wolves. this is more of a therapeutic fix-it what-if exercise for me to get over end-of-series emotional pain. long live the grishaverse.)

so. this book made me want to CRY with how lovely it was. it was mindblowing to see every character in the grishaverse in a single book and I loved... everything about it until the last ten chapters.

- zoya taking the ravkan throne didn’t sit right with me.

- nina always living under a fake name with another face didn’t sit right with me.

- honestly? the speed at which the darkling plot wrapped up was plain weird.

zoya is nearly immortal and omniscent at this point, and nikolai decides to give his crown to her? yes, she has good intentions, but isn’t ravka being ruled by an all-powerful grisha the very thing they were trying to avoid with the darkling?

what I would’ve wanted is nikolai keeping his throne—he’s fought so long and so hard for it that giving it up in a split second just didn’t seem right. he admits his bastardy and the demon in him, and the ravkan people come around eventually, and it proves that bloodlines and purity don’t make you a good ruler. hell, it still could’ve been the nazyalensky dynasty if he’d married zoya and taken her name. 

nina and hanne: don’t get me wrong, i LOVED their story, but it felt rushed within the context of this book. we were getting nikolai and zoya povs, as well as the shu han plotline, and it felt like their relationship didn’t have enough time to become what it did. i wish they’d had their own separate book, and i wish nina hadn’t just thrown away her whole previous life like that. 

hanne brum could’ve remained the grisha king of fjerda (i did love that irony), but nina zenik should have returned to her country. taken a pause on that relationship in the aftermath of the war and the rebuilding. grieved properly for matthias. i still really wish he was alive, but having one character get two good romances is really rare, and i liked that. i just wish there’d been more time between laying matthias to rest and making out with hanne in the ice court, you know? 

they could stay in contact, advise each other on political affairs (nina gets tailored back into mila on occasion to visit for parties, make out with hanne, and work with the spy network). and in a few years, once fjerda is healing, they get a little house in os alta or something and live in peace. and hanne gets rid of prince rasmus’s face—that was just plain weird. 

the darkling... honestly? i don’t even know what to think of this. i don’t like how he gets his sainthood, and the thornwood chapter felt like too neat and tidy an ending. the most power-hungry grisha of all time willingly sacrifices himself for an eternity of torture, conveniently ending the blight across the world? it didn’t feel earned. i didn’t want him humanized. i did, however, very much like genya giving him a piece of her mind.

actually, i think he should’ve been torn to pieces near arkesk by modern warfare technology. that would be a fitting and ironic ending. and take the blight out of the equation altogether—Too Many Villains. 

oh, and david kostyk should be alive, dammit. 

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

5,6, 16 (Kanej) ♥

5. Any character you didn't expect to like as much as you did? Similarly, is there any character you didn't end up liking as much as you though you would?

I don't think there's anyone in particular I liked less than I was expecting too except maybe just that I had a dislike for Van Eck at the start of Six of Crows that just became a deeper and deeper hatred as it went on. Oh and Jarl Brum!! I was kind of expecting him to be more of a construct and someone I was aware of being a terrible person but not so horrendous in the foreground, but good god to I hat him hate him hate him hate him, okay it's like when Nina says she doesn't just want to kill him for what he did to her people but what he did to Matthias as well, this is exactly it okay what he did to Grisha, what he did to Matthias, what he did to Kuwei, what he doubtlessly did to so many other young boys in similar situation to Matthias ugh screw him. And as for characters I like more than I expected to, I think maybe Matthias because I will defend this man to my dying breath and I know he's supposed to become more likeable over the course of six of crows but in his first chapter I was really uncertain how I felt about him I felt like I was only there for Nina. Rereading that chapter in light of the character he becomes and knowing him so much better I find that I understand him far more

6. Are there any aspects of a character or plot that you wished had been delved into more in the duology?

I would really like to know more about Dunyasha, I think she's fascinating

16. Got a hill you'd die on about a particular character trait/scene/ship/etc?

Kanej will heal and be able to be together I don't understand why you wouldn't want them to as long as they are both comfortable and taking their time they deserve to heal and to be able to be together they deserve the world

From my previous answer:

Character - Wylan changed his surname to Hendriks after Crooked Kingdom and I wholeheartedly believe that

But also:

whilst I'm thinking about Matthias I'd like to add I adore Helnik so wholeheartedly and I adore Matthias so wholeheartedly and I personally I just don't see where people are getting the ide that he didn't strive for change or try to be a better person (very importantly not only for her as if it's a one off situation but it's explicitly stated for Jesper and Kuwei and for Grisha everywhere) so yeah the hill I would die on there is Helnik I simply love them

[roguestarsailor]

impressions of six of crows

***spoiler ishh, not plot spoilers but just character interactions throughout the book***

note: I have not read shadow and bone and this is the first book i’m reading in this series so i have no prior knowledge of who these people are or what happened prior to this!!

I adore all these characters in the book! I love how seamlessly everything flowed and its glorious to read. The names were all confusing to me so I had to constantly refer back to the map and the Ice court layout to fully understand everything. I think there were points where I didn’t fully understand the impact because I didn’t read the other books. Talk of the Second army was confusing for me, but I just pushed through. I just love the dynamic of this group and I really really hope they are ok. Please don’t die. Will this author do this to my sensitive heart?? idkk?? 

the heist was so fun and honestly, i dont think the ice court was that well protected haha. it felt like they had so much time to do so many things but it just might be how the story is told. i love stories of trickery and heist and this one did a really good job. I love the backstories getting interwoven together and the plot twists were lovely. I was stressed for kaz though and i was nervous he will “run out of tricks” but it ended up fine. its strange because he is sooo young and hes battling these seasoned professionals and hes gotta navigate this fucked up world. they all have to navigate this fucked up world and i can’t imagine the stress of always looking behind you but also looking at the next 10 steps and then plotting additional scenarios to live. wow. anyways this i was great 10/10!!

Notable scenes include:

“Jesper!”

I’m going to kill that little idiot. “What do you want?” he shouted down.

“Close your eyes!”

“You can’t kiss me from down there, Wylan.”

I LOVE THEM ALREADY! JESPER AND WYLAN IS SO CUTE

“Pull your shirt up over your mouth,” [Jesper] told Wylan.

“What?”

“Stop being dense. You’re cuter when you’re smart.”

Wylan’s cheeks went pink. He scowled and pulled his collar up.

“Discipline. Routine. Does it mean nothing to you? Djel, I can’t wait to have a bed to myself again.”

“Right,” said Nina. “I can feel just how much you hate sleeping next to me. I feel it every morning.”

Matthais flushed bright scarlet. “Why do you have to say things like that?”

“Because I like it when you turn red.”

“It’s disgusting. You don’t need to make everything lewd.”

...

“Despite her fatigue, she trotted ahead of him. “That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to like a Grisha. You’re scared that if you laugh at my jokes or answer my questions, you might start thinking I’m human. Would that be so terrible?”

“I do like you.”

“What was that?”

“I do like you,” he said angrily.

She’d beamed, feeling a well of pleasure erupt through her, “Now, really, was that so bad?”

“Yes!” he roared.

“Why?”

“Because you’re horrible. You’re loud and lewd and...treacherous.  Brum warned us that Grisha could be charming.”

“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I have beguiled you with my Grisha wiles!”

She poked him in the chest.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I FUCKEN LOVE THESE BICKERING IDIOTS. but also nina means so much to me. its so fucken refreshing to see a character who is overweight and can carry herself with so much sass and confidence (because thats what 17 year old me would have wished to be able to channel)!! i love that shes so flirty and especially to someone as stoic as matthais is cute af!! even the author wrote about how much she loves nina: “I probably identify most with Nina. She’s spent her whole life being told she’s too big, too loud, too much--and that’s basically me. I just wish I had Nina’ confidence at seventeen.” she has the kind of sass and big dick energy that comes w having to prove yourself and being shamed and i think thats why she has a special place in my heart!! maybe i’ll go in on my love for nina in another post but ugh i love her

“When we get back to Ketterdam, I’m taking my share, and I’m leaving the Dregs.”

He looked away. “You should. You were always too good for the Barrel.”

It was time to go. “Saints’ speed, Kaz.”

Kaz snagged her wrist. “Inej.” His gloved thumb moved over her pulse, tracing the top of the feather tattoo. “If we don’t make it out, I want you to know...”

She waited.

...

She reached up and touched his cheek...this was the first time she had touched him skin to skin, without the barrier of gloves or coat or shirtsleeves. She let her hand cup his cheek. His skin was cool and damp from the rain. He stayed still but she saw a tremor pass through him as if he were waging a war with himself.

“If we don’t survive this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?”

His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough.”

NO I LOVE THEM TOO! KAZ1!!! DO SOMETHING!!! BUT ALSO FUCKEN GOOD FOR YOU INEJ YOU FUCKEN KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE AND IF HE AINT GIVING 100 U DONT WANT IT I LOVE HER TOO

Inej turned to go. Kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. He didn’t look at her. “Stay,” he said, his voice rough stone. “Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.”

She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she’d been through. “What would be the point?”

He took a breath. “I want you to stay. I want you to...I want you.”

“You want me.” She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. “And how will you have me, Kaz?”

He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was the face he wore when he was fighting.

“How will you have me?” she repeated. “Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch?”

He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed as he turned his face to the sea.

Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

Speak, she begged silently. Give me a reason to stay. For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving, too.

ITERATE AGAIN, INEJ DONT WANT 90 PERCENT OR 99 PERCENT SHE WANTS 100 OR NOTHING WOW. i mean my shipping heart says NOOO buT shes right. kaz gotta figure out his shit and then share that vulnerability w her and maybe they can be truly together. UGH BUT THIS SCENE my god

Van Eck taunting Wylan and shitting on him for not being able to read was disgusting and i will fight him. I WILL PROTECT WYLAN WITH MY HEART! HES TRYING HIS BEST AND WORKING WITH WHAT HES GOT AND HE SAVED THEM ALL SO MANY TIMES. GET THIS PEDO OUT OF HERE FUCK THIS GUY

“That’s why you disappeared during the journey,” said Jesper. “You weren’t helping Matthais care for Nina. You were hiding.”

“I didn’t hide.”

“You...how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I thought it was Kuwei?”

“Every time.”

pekka rolllins. wow. what a man. i expect great things to happen between kaz and him. i truly did think kaz killed him back in the ice court lol but im glad he saw the grand plan and waited it out. hes a man of patience. i can respect that.

[booknerdateen]

The Grishaverse Series

A mini dramaticness before we begin

Also note: there are spoilers so beware

It all started with Six of Crows. I read the book either last year or a few years ago. The news came when Shadow and Bone was being adapted into a show. So, I decided to go down the rabbit hole and read the trilogy before I watched the show so I can get a more depth of the world and all that. I finished the books with eight days to spare. A few days after I finished the season, I went to Barnes to get the other books. I already had Six Of Crows, but y’all can never have too many copies. Soon, I reentered the world of the Crows. Finally at last, I was able to read Crooked Kingdom (one of my best friends been dying for me to read CK). After the catastrophe of CK’s ending, I delved into King of Scars. I didn’t really know much about Nikolai’s duology besides it being about him, Zoya, and Nina. With the annoying ending of Scars, I started Rule of Wolves the next day. I started this journey from Alina and the Darkling to the Crows and their hiesting to seeing Nina’s happiness and Nikolai and Zoya dealing with their demons-figuratively and literally. So, here we are reaching and end of an era for me. I am glad I got to read an amazing series of this world.

The Grisha Trilogy

Aright yall!

I went into the trilogy not knowing much, besides the teaser trailer knowledge

I went in trying to not be biased about the Darkling cuz Ben Barnes

Did it affect me, yes yes it did

Although I don’t like Darkling

Some of y’all hate me for this but I ship Darklina

Yes yes, they toxic, but man you can’t convince me Darkling and Alina had that amazing chemistry in the first book

Not counting when Alina found out bout his true intentions and all that

I didn’t understand why we hated Mal until half way through Siege and Storm

I’m not Malina, but I can understand why we ship them

My amazing love of my life, Nikolai/Stormhund!

Him revealing himself as the prince, omg

Nikolai planting a kiss on Alina and her hitting him afterwards, love it

Tamar and Toyla are amazing!

I actually didn’t realize they were Shu until King Of Scars

Do I see why they betrayed Alina and used her for the Apparat (who needs to freakin die!), yes

Should they’ve, no but I see why though

Harshaw is me half the time

I love him teaming up with a random cat and called him Oncat pure wholesome

Alina going back to the Palace to start the Second Army and understandably putting a whole in the cafeteria ceiling, yes bruh

It’s not the cafeteria but I can’t remember what it’s called so hush

I thought she was gonna murder someone with that cut

Zoya declaring her alliance to Alina

Alina being sus about Zoya….I get that

Genya’s iconic “I am not ruined, I am ruination” I freakin love that!

Nikolai putting his father in his place and potentially exposing the king to r*pe

I freakin lived for that!

I did suspect that what happened between him and Genya, but it was more implied until R&R

Deaths=man, we lost some amazing peeps

Founding out Mal is the third amplifier, blew my mind

Mal dying=was not having that

Mal resurected=didn’t think it had worked, but it did

Darkling being stabbed and killed by his own knife by Alina…..wow

I didn’t like that

Sorry not sorry

I thought it felt a little rushed when that happened

I’m still confused on how he died

Overall: 9/10 I loved it

Six of Crows Duology

I don’t remember what happened in this book when I first read it

I longing to live to be part of the Crows

I love their friendship

Reminds me of my friends

“Compromise. I’m sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets”

I’ll probably do a post about my favorite lines of the books

Oh yes, so I read SoC after watching S&B

Reading Nina and Matthias’ parts with the shipwreck and all that and it being the same as their scenes in the show

I loved that

Well vice versa it should be….show being line for line like the book with them

“Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won’t you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat”

I actually texted my mom that but reworded it as a way of asking her to get Taco Bell breakfast after her PT

It worked

Wesper, Kanej, Helnik=yesssss

My cinnamon roll Wylan

Jesper, Inej, and Wylan hijacking a fjierdan tank=high speed chase but with teenagers

The 180* that Van Eck and Kaz kept doing in the end, omg

Van Eck being a total evilness, man I wanted to smack him

Inej almost giving up on escaping

Kaz pushed Wylan against the wall about to kill him

Jesper’s father being afraid of Little Jesper being killed cuz Jes being grisha

Speaking of that, I did not see that coming

Kaz and Jesper getting into a fight and Wylan and Kuweii being the only ones concerned

Jesper Llewellyn Fahey

Jesper kissing Kuweii thinking he was Wylan

Wylan being broken-hearted

Them making up ahhhhh

The auction….that’s it that’s the only thing

Matthias being shot

Him going to Nina to say he loves her

Chapter 40= I tossed the book and dramatic screamed (not actually screaming)

Omg, Wylan finding out his mother aint dead but in a rehab place bruhhhhh

Kaz reuniting Inej with her parents

Kaz’s small steps of touching people again

Overall: 10/10 I’m biased about this duology

Nikolai Duology

Nikolai transforming into darkling creature at night is the equivalent of a werewolf turning at night (depending if we do every full moon and all that)

Nina burying Matthias’ body 😭

He found peace

Nina being the best necromancer grisha

Nina wanting to choke the ever living death out of Brun

Genya and David being married

Nadia and Tomar being married

David threating the monk

The monk 🤦🏾‍♀️

Wait no, the “Starless Saint” Cult 🤦🏾‍♀️

Nina mentioning about the Crows, mentally not verbally

Kuweii setting a tree on fire

The fold universe is very confusing

Sankta Eve…whats her name betraying them all to bring Darkling to life

Zoya being amazing as always

The Apparat really needs to die

I cannot stand that dude

The attenpted assination on Nikolai and Princess Shu (I forgot her name)

Isaak willingly to take Nikolai’s place while he in the fold

Isaak falling in love with Princess Shu

Or should i say “Princess Shu”

Isaak deserved better

Darkling ressurected 🙄

Nina and Hanne 💜

Freakin Brum I swear

Ramus deserved to die

Alina, Mal, Misha, and Oncat cameo

The Crows cameo!

Inej cameo in the end!

“Captain Ghafa”

Darking decided to give a redemption

Why….just why

Zoya turning into a dragon, that’s my zoya!

Nikolai turning into darkling creature to risk Ravka’s future

Brum being exile

Mwhahah

Hanne tailored as Ramus bruhhhh

I feel like Hanne is a trans coded character, I’ll go depth in another post

Freakin fjeirda in general

Fjeirda soldiers bowing down to “Sankta Zoya”

Nikolai stepping down the throne

Giving the throne to Zoya!

Queen Zoya

David’s death….I was not prepared for that 😭

Inej suspecting Alina to be actually Alina to Nikolai

Nikolai brushing her off as an old friend from the country

“I need Stormund to send a message to Kaz Brekker. I have a job for him”

Not word for word but ya know

Six of Crows 3??!?!?!! Ahhh

Overall: 8/10 loved it!

[demonicowgirl]

okay finished rule of wolves and i have THOUGHTS..... of which i have gathered..... like sheep i have herded them together. so no it's not coherent. spoilers under cut so abandon hope all ye who enter here

okay….. deadass…… i think my favorite point of view was from the darkling LIKE?!?!?! me before starting this book: HAHA THE DARKLING IS GOING TO DIE FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!! GET REKT!!!!! me after: His first soldiers were dead now. Lovers, allies, countless kings and queens. Only he continued on. Eternity took practice, and he’d had plenty of it. The world had changed. War had changed. But he had not. but seriously he’s so dramatic and the shit is he says is like. unhinged. i had a blast

zoya deserves so much love and peace and i knew she’d end up queen but this was…. not how i expected it would be. but more thoughts on that down the list

how is jesper going to show up for approximately 14 pages and manage to be the funniest character in the entire book. like he’s got probably 50 lines and each one fucking hits HOW DOES HE DO IT

mayu’s chapters felt very unnecessary and i would’ve preferred to just not know how tamar’s mission in shu han is going until the khergud show up for their ride of rohirrim/knights of the vale moment. maybe leigh wrote it that originally and it just didn’t work? because i can definitely see how insane it would read like all we know about khergud is that they hunt grisha and then all of sudden they’re…. helping ravka?!?!? like it would be really hard to pull off but idk i think all of mayu’s chapters were just. kind of sloggy and the surprise would’ve been fun during the battle

sorry but i still don’t know what the fuck an airship looks like. or what the fjerdan naval base was supposed to look like. the tech in this universe is truly mind boggling

kaz brekker is so in love with inej ghafa. god they make me SICK

okay nina’s storyline…… this is my biggie……………… sigh. okay. nina’s storyline was my favorite part of king of scars and so i was really looking forward to seeing what would happen here. and for the most part i was having a great time!! i love her and hanne (more than i ever got into her and matthias) and i was so excited for jarl brum to finally fucking die. but then the last few chapters. i’m so……….. okay talking about hanne being a trans character (i’ll be using they/them pronouns because it doesn’t feel like a settled issue especially since they talk about not wanting to *be* rasmus, just his body). it makes so much sense for their character and i had HUUUUGE vibes all the way back in kos and i could see it coming here in row. but the way leigh handled their “transition” (???) is not good. like hanne had to kill a cis man and take on his identity to transition and that is such a bad handling i think??? who approved this. but also from a narrative standpoint it GETS WORSE?!?! like how the fuck is hanne gonna pretend to be a PRINCE… what will they do about the king and queen?? and nina remaining mila…… it honestly makes me really angry. that nina would turn her back on her country and friends and family for a LOVE INTEREST…… like her storyline has centered SO MUCH about how much she misses ravka, and in this duology even ketterdam!! like we all realize that when nina focuses on missing waffles or blini *those are symbolic stand-ins for her friends and it’s easier for her to talk about missing food than missing her friends*. like we all know that. and then in the end she says you know what i can PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE????? and not just a random fjerdan woman literally someone who will be QUEEN OF FJERDA ONE DAY. like an incredibly public position that will put mila under a ton of scrutiny… more than her identity was created for! and nina literally acknowledges that if they got the real mila jandersdat’s friends and neighbors to look at nina they’d know she was an impostor. so what is mila’s village gonna do when they hear mila jandersdat is apparently back from noyvi zem and now engaged to the prince???? i think leigh chose an ending that just doesn’t hold up narratively and logically. like i want nina to be happy and find love but why does it have to be…. not as nina.

my other big gripe is the politics and international implications of everything that’s going on like…… ravka is engaging in some CIA-backed-coups-in-latin-america levels of diplomacy. like fjerda is not just going to have a secret grisha impersonating their prince and eventual king one day, but their queen will ALSO be a secret grisha and RAVKAN SPY???? if nina was ever caught do you know the level of international scandal that would cause??? how the fuck could zoya even let her go off and do this??? it would absolutely be grounds for war and i thought zoya and everybody were TIRED of war. speaking of ravka’s government. guys we LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A MONARCHY. like i was actually hoping zoya would become queen but like…. because she married nikolai. not because nikolai stepped down and she was appointed. like i was fine with the monarchy sticking around if they never even had a chance to contemplate alternatives but they literally say no………. we choose monarchy. besides the fact that the world is advancing and monarchies don’t last long in technologically advanced societies, zoya is going to have the most unstable reign because of the threat from the lantsovs. like nikolai’s parents are gonna go back to the southern colonies and just be like “our son ended our dynasty and put a grisha on our throne but that’s fine! we shouldn’t try to reinstate ourselves or anything.” demidov is fine with this??? he had a problem with nikolai being a lantsov pretender but zoya just starting her own monarchial dynasty gets no pushback??? like i know nobody wants to end the book/series on such a depressing note but like. a revolution and/or coup is staring zoya in the face. and yeah she’s the motherfucking dragon but um…… so was daenerys targaryen. and ultimately it really feels like the ending of game of thrones where a bunch of noblemen are gathered in one room and they’re like “we have the chance to change the course of our country forever so we will…….. START A NEW DYNASTY!” ….. HUH?!?!!? like when nikolai was like ravka will choose its leader! and the only people from ravka in the room are the landed gentry and peerage. like yeah ravka really got a say in this…. so no nikolai i actually don’t think the nazyalensky dynasty will last that long because with all the threats of being overthrown on LITERALLY ALL SIDES zoya may just decide to say fuck it and give the people democracy so it’s no longer her problem! or she just gets killed. so. anyways if the only known countries in this world are ruled by either 1. monarchies (fjerda, ravka, shu han) or 2. plutocracy (kerch) i can see why literally fucking everybody is moving to noyvi zem. like jesus i would too!

genya deserves so much better she has suffered so much and i know leigh needed to make the war have personal consequences BUT DOES SHE HAVE TO HURT GENYA IN THE PROCESS???? like she just doesn’t get a break. anyways i hope she retires from the triurmvirate and goes to live with alina and mal in keramzin because you know what. they were right. they were right to turn their back on literally everything to do with ravkan politics. genya go join them pls

zoya’s expression of grief and mourning… yeah. yeah that one hurt.

i know everybody’s talking about the potential of soc3 but actually i don’t want that! let the crows be in peace in ketterdam!!!! their biggest threats should be like. getting shanked in the barrel not whatever the fuck zoya will put them through. i hope kaz just ignores her letters and when the Queen of Ravka personally comes to his doorstep he reiterates that he’s RETIRED. and when zoya tries to pull the inej card she pops out from behind kaz and says “i’m on vacation with my boyfriend. we’re good!” LET THEM REST!!!!!!!

so yes these are my thoughts not all of them but many of them. i still really enjoyed it and think it was waaaay better than king of scars (not as good as soc & ck though <3). the problem is that the ending definitely colors your view of everything that's happened and if you don't like the ending... well. it's not even that i didn't like the entirety of the ending i mostly just hated nina's and the implications of zoya's. do not mistake me for a darkling fangirl!!!! anyways the writing in this was really good too and there were more moments that just HIT ME than in kos, which i think i just sort.... breezed through without getting hit in the face by a brick of a line. but this one has so many moments especially in zoya and the darkling's chapters that i'm just like OH!!!!! so that is why i leave you with this:

"Zoya, do you know why the Darkling lost the civil war? How Alina stopped him?" Zoya pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. I wish I did." "Because he always fought alone. He let his power isolate him. Alina had us. You have us. You push us away, keep us at arm's distance so that you won't mourn us. But you'll mourn us anyway. That's the way love works."