#him talking about his experience with the druskelle

[justanotherbarrelrat]

Matthias: My ghost won’t associate with your ghost

Me: But will you associate with your family’s ghosts?

[fantastic-nonsense]

one of the things so many people miss is that the Ravka-Fjerda war is a terrible parallel to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust because it's a fundamental misinterpretation of the Grisha's role in the conflict

The Holocaust was a genocide perpetuated against innocents; there was nothing except blind hatred and political opportunism spurring that persecution. But the Fjerdan obsession with persecuting Grisha, while partially out of blind hatred and prejudice, is also at least partially happening because they're in an active war against a country that uses Grisha as soldiers...soldiers who are uniquely destructive, use that destructive capability to kill Fjerdans, and are canonically praised for doing so. Soldiers who are recruited to come to the Little Palace from all over the world based on the premise that they will be safe...as long as they fight for Ravka in the Second Army. Remember that Ravka largely doesn't care about the Grisha's wellbeing either until after the civil war is over and the Triumvirate is in power; their interest in 'protecting' Grisha lay in their ability to use them as soldiers in their ongoing wars against Fjerda and Shu Han.

You CANNOT do a one-to-one comparison to something like the Holocaust when the whole point of the Ravka-Fjerdan conflict is that there's massive suffering and war crimes being perpetuated on both sides. Nina and Matthias's chapters hammer home the point that they both have very good reason to be terrified of each other due to the situation they've been forced into, but that the hatred and prejudice they were both raised with is wrong. We mostly focus on the persecution of the Grisha becasue we're already primed to identify and sympathize with them, but there's several instances where we're explicitly shown that there's more to this war (which is principally a territory/border dispute) than just a senseless genocide.

The bit where Nina realizes that Zoya, her mentor, is to Matthias what Jarl Brum is to her. Nina forcing Matthias's heart to speed up on the Ferolind for no reason other than to scare him. Learning that the whole reason Matthias ended up as a druskelle in the first place was because his village was burnt to the ground and his family (including his "baby sister") were murdered by Inferni soldiers. Nina effectively murdering a couple hundred druskelle while on parem at the Djerholm harbor. "We are all someone's monster." And so many more.

Matthias is not a Nazi (the druskelle are much more analogous to a fundamentalist religious cult than anything else, especially when you consider the specific indoctrination Matthias was subject to). Leigh Bardugo (a Jewish woman born in Israel with direct family members who died in the Holocaust) has firmly stated that she "would never write a Nazi-Jewish romance," and we as a fandom need to be extremely careful when drawing real-world parallels to fictional conflcits. Nina and Matthias are both soldiers caught up in a centuries-old war, not an oppressor engaging in mindless ethnic persecution against a helpless victim. Matthias has a lot further to go than Nina to unpack and grow out of those mutual prejudices, but they're very clearly present in both characters.

Yes, there are parallels between the Grisha experience and the Jewish experience, and we should talk about that! It's an interesting discussion to have. But Leigh has explicitly cautioned people not to say "this is a mirror to a real-life conflict" because she purposefully built into her world that in some respects, many Grisha (especially Ravkan Grisha) have power and privilege and are actively utilizing it. It's dangerous to try and say something like "the Fjerdans are Nazis and the Grisha are Jewish people" when discussing that conflict because it can unintentionally perpetuate the idea that the Jewish people deserved what happened to them, which is something we obviously should categorically avoid even implying in our discussions.

[manikas-whims]

Hii :)

I finished the soc duology recently and I love it, but I was really sad about matthias death, so I looked up for explanations to see if his death was really necessary, if it had a purpose or if it's just one of those things authors do to shook the reader or write "realistic stories" and you are one of the only people I saw who said it wasn't necessary, so can you tell me why, do you have more thoughts about that?

hi there!! i'm glad you enjoyed the books ☺

i usually don't like to speak much on this cuz i feel like people will think i'm biased since he's one of my top 3 crows but i'll explain it just this once..

Firstly, i truly find character deaths in general a very stupid trope.

And in my opinion, Matthias's death served no purpose other than adding shock value.

Throughout the duology, Matthias is talked about and shown to us as this highly trained and disciplined soldier, a Druskelle to be exact. And a lil rugged due to his experience in Hellgate. Throughout the plot we see him being very rational, being extremely distasteful of Kaz's methods yet still silently coping with him. Even during his confrontation with Brum, he maintained his cool and easily tricked Brum to save Nina, and further help break out Kuwei..

So when the whole encounter with that lil fjerdan boy happened, i just couldn't understand (and i still don't accept) how a well-trained Druskelle, an ex-convict and an overall calm and collected man couldn't handle the situation with a child.

In my opinion, the moment that child pulled out the gun, canon Matthias would've swiftly disarmed him and then proceeded to talk the child into calming down and make him understand.

Thus, despite people saying shit like “Matthias's past killed him” or “this is realistic, not everyone makes it”, bla bla bla.., i truly find it hard to believe. His death looks like a stunt for shock value. And it also seems as if the author Leigh Bardugo herself didn't know or had no plans for Matthias, so she simply chose to kill him off. Maybe because she already had things planned in her mind for Nina after the conclusion of CK but didn't know how to incorporate Matthias (and by extension Helnik) into it..

I'm not sure but to me, Matthias's death just doesn't feel like the right conclusion for his arc.

There's so many better ways his arc could've gone and here's my two fav personally thought out headcanons for him:

— Matthias working together with Nina to help Hanne/Rasmus become the new ruler of Fjerda

— Matthias joining Inej on her ship and helping her take down slavers and awful rich men

Ohh! he also gets to adopt a new wolf 🥺

Once again, these are my personal opinions and no one has to agree with these..:)

But I just think Matthias Helvar deserved better.

[vanilla-vivillon]

Dedicating this to @infernigf for giving me the idea

When the Darkling built the little palace for Grisha there was one thing he wasn’t expecting he’d enjoy

Children

The Darkling didn’t have a lot of experience with kids

Whitch was rather suprising seeing how long he lived

It started off as visits to the younger kids classrooms to check on them every once in a while

Then it became talking with instructors about specific talented children

Then the Darkling started to sit in on lessons

Children were one of the only people who treated him like he was a person

“So your the leader?” A child would ask

“Yes. I’m a shadow and summoner and The other countries fear me”

“Ok cool, what’s you fourth favorite lizard?” Lizard Girl would answer

Children were simple

Sometimes Aleksander found himself talking to Young Corporalki torn between becoming a healer or Heartrender

Or helping an Inferni not scorch there eyebrows

Or listen to that odd Fabrikator Davis go on about his inventions

One day an etherealki instructor says there going to the lake for a beach day

It was educational for the summoners

Tidemakers to mess with the water

Infernis to start bonfires

Squallers to estinguish the bonfires

And he decides to join them

By now the kids were comfortable with him

And so our Daddy Darkles adorned his best khaki pants and socks and sandals and went to the lake

It started off fun and great

Children were tame

Fun was happening

It was a nice time

He scanned the faces of the children

He felt a small twinge in his chest

He wished for that childhood

As a child he spent many of his youth training with Baghra

He couldn’t often goof off

Looking at a Squaller chase sand at a tidemaker running into the water he felt jealous

While brooding he felt something on his leg

Looking down he found that Inferni clutching his beige clad calf

Lizard Girl

“Mr. The Darkling Can you help me look for lizards?” She innocently inquired

With a small smile bending down Aleksander says “Sure Manya”

The Darkling loved his Grisha

So much

But he couldn’t weep

He couldn’t weep for his people

He couldn’t weep when that promising Fabrikator never came back on his expedition to the Shu Mountains

He couldn’t weep when the healer who had tended to his wounds for years was struck down by druskelle

He couldn’t weep when Manya, sweet Manya. Lizard Girl. Died on the fold

Nevermind that He would think I’ve got a Sun Summoner now

Hey y’all A short sweet Daddy Darkling. Ended up a little angsty. But some soft Darkling was fun to write. Give this a reblog if you made it this far.

My ask box is open and I take any Grishaverse requests

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch - Part 4

The Darkling x Reader

You stood still for a long time, pondering over what to tell him. There was so much he didn't know and so much you didn't want to share. You needed him to ask specific questions. You really couldn't afford to let your mouth run.

'Okay.'

You sat down at the end of your bed, fiddling with your hands. You felt nervous now. Should you lie? Was it worth feeling his wrath at a later date for a couple more months of peace? For a brief second your eyes went to his hands. The hands that can do unspeakable things, that can inflict the worst pain and kill in an instant. But they can also do other things too. You craved the power he possessed because you knew you could have it again one day.

'What happened that day?' He said softly, still not moving from his place beside the door.

You had imagined this day thousands of times, finally seeing your Aleksander, him asking you where you went. What happened. You gave the same answer every time. It was memorized and clung in the back of your mind. Yet now, finding yourself in the dream you lived over and over countless times, you were stuck for words. You didn't know where to start even though it was obvious, start at the beginning. Your palms were sweating now and your breath became erratic.

'Well ummm-' you were uncomfortable. Your walls were breaking down. He always had this effect on you. Get yourself together you fool.

‘-It wasn't my fault. I swear it. I don't know what you've heard but I swear on the Saints I didn't mean for it to happen.' You became frantic and words were coming out of your mouth unfiltered.

'Y/N what are you talking about?!'

'When I went to look for those Grisha that day, near the Fjerdan border, there was a scuffle. One of the villagers knew what I was, started getting in my face. He wouldn't stop talking and screaming about how horrid I was; about how disgusting I was. I- It happened before I knew it I swear, I didn't wish anybody any harm.'

I'm not like you.

'I didn't mean for it to happen, I pushed myself and got cocky. I lost all control.' A tear slipped out of your eye.

'Y/N It's okay, it's over no-'

'No. You need to know what happened, you wanted to know and I'll tell you.' You wiped the tear and went on, your eyes focused on your hands.

'He was cut in half by the time his daughter started running for the door.-' You gave a weak laugh.

'- and then I went after her. and her mother. her brother. their neighbors. Everybody. Even my own kind. My own Grisha.' You were sobbing, hearty cries left your throat. 'There was nobody left.'

You had killed before but never like this. This was completely unmotivated, there was no reason to obliterate a whole village. You could still remember every detail, the smell of copper in the air and the labored last breaths. With shame, you could also remember the buzz of power and how euphoric it felt.

'I have seen red, Aleksander. And 98 years later I'm still having nightmares about my doings. I don't know what happened. I swear. All my abilities vanished after it. I was just a murderous otkazat’sya standing in a village of dead bodies. I was exactly what he said I was.'

'Why didn't you come back to me?' His voice was strained, sad. He moved closer to you but you refused to look at him. You sniffed.

'I tried. I got close. But then Baghra sent me a lovely message. It was simple. 'Don't come back'. An inferni managed to escape me but not before being killed by your sweet mother for knowing what had happened-'

You finally look at him. He looked heartbroken, but not for all those people you killed; for you. His hands reached for your fumbling ones. A feeling of warmth and confidence spread through you while the guilt grew.

'-I believe my massacre was covered up very well though, what was it again? Oh yes, the Druskelle attacked and left no survivors? burned down the remnants? I can only imagine what would happen if the truth got out, what would the King think? He would have your head on a spike before I even came back.'

'They told me you were dead. That the Druskelle killed you on sight.'

His thumb caressed your hand, trying to soothe you. Truth was, there was no soothing to do. You faced the facts of your experience, or rather inexperience, a long time ago. You were dangerous when you couldn't control yourself; when anger and arrogance took over. You don't have the luxury of being a normal person with the ability to feel when you needed to feel. You never will, no matter the control you have.

'Well, you know now.' You stood up and got away from him. He was an amplifier, whatever you felt without him, you felt x10 more when he touched you.

'What did you do next?'

'I hid. It wasn't hard. Nobody knew what I looked like. I wasn't a Grisha in anybody's eyes, not even mine. I grew weak and sick since I had no power to use. It went on like that for 2 years until I came across a heartrenderer near Poliznaya. I was on the verge of death, he tried to help, and as soon as he touched me I flipped the card. He was gasping for air while my body felt like my body again. I ran off before I had any more blood on my hands.'

'Is that when you started seeking out other Grisha?' He was trying to follow along. He was intently listening and not interrupting. You were surprised he wasn't mad that you killed his Grisha in cold blood.

'No. I went to Shu Han. Learned to fight. To survive without the comfort of the Little Palace or a hospital ward.' The Little Palace and its luxuries spoiled you beyond repair. Aleksander made sure you had everything you ever needed, except the one thing you needed most: self-control training. He tended to subdue you, but you couldn't blame him, not after all you've done.

He reached for you once again.

'You're safe now Darling. I'm not judging you. I wouldn't dare.'

You didn't know whether to run into his arms or move as far back as you could. You always tied his darkness, his shadows, to the event that took place. His shadows were what you killed with and it was his power that brought you over the edge yet you still craved it regardless.

But for the first time since yesterday, his mere touch and comfort were needed more than his power. His arms enveloped your waist and pulled you into him. You finally relaxed. You could hear his heart pounding in his chest through his thick kefta. You allowed yourself this moment to block out the world. It was just you and him, the Darkling and the Witch.

'Y/N, you have no idea how much I have missed you.' He whispered into your hair and held you tighter, his true emotions showing.

It wasn't long before you broke away from Aleksander and awkwardly stared at him.

'Okay.......I'm done talking for today' you joked with a sad smile. Your tears now completely dried on your face but your eyes still puffy. Aleksander took this as a very clear sign to leave. Although the last thing he wanted was to leave you alone in this state, something told him you knew how to handle yourself.

'Alright then, I shall leave you to it' He about to head for the door when he remembered what brought him to your room in the first place.

'Y/N?'

'Yes?'

'Impressive kefta orders might I say. Should I be alarmed?' Fedyor must have reported to him right away when he heard your requests for the seamstress. You rolled your eyes and let out a genuine laugh. Aleksander's heart skipped a beat.

'I'm making up for lost time'

'I'm hoping' His words carried a weight you didn't expect and didn't acknowledge.

'Do you wish to dine with the rest of the Grisha?'

'Where would I sit? I'm sure my chair has been removed.' You once had a proud chair next to The Darkling. He never dared put you into a single Grisha order, much like your keftas, he always went along with your idea to not conform.

'I can bring it back if you like.'

'Maybe next time, I'll eat here for now'

'Alone?'

'Yes.' you breathed.

'Very well. '

'Goodbye General.' You mocked and seen a smirk on his beautiful face. You missed him too.

------------------------------------------------------------

Part 5

@xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl

[greensaplinggrace]

14 for the grishaverse asks?

Anon: 14

---

(Grishaverse Ask Game!)

Do you have any specific headcanons about any characters?: oh boy DO I EVER. Especially for the SaB characters.

The Darkling is transgender, Alina uses she/they pronouns, Mal is a trans man, and they're all bisexual

Young Grisha in the Little Palace often ask what the Darkling's age is and he always answers with a different and outrageous number, saying anywhere from 6000 to 10. Everyone thinks he's just joking until they don't anymore

The Darkling makes little shadow creatures with his powers for the kids. The first time he tries it he makes a figure that's just a bit too scary and accidentally scares a kid. He panics when the kid starts crying.

Young Grisha in the Little Palace use their powers innocently all the time and learn to love that part of themselves, David making little toys for his friends and Zoya tossing other kids into leaf piles with her wind and Genya playing dress up. The Darkling and Alina create constellations together with their powers using darkness and little points of light.

A Mal that stays in the Little Palace instantly bonds with the Grisha children there because he knows what it's like to alone and feel isolated. He endears himself to Aleksander by constantly playing with the children, though it takes him some time to get used to being around them

A Mal that stays in the Little Palace would absolutely get involved in Grisha physical combat lessons

Fedyor and Ivan were very obvious about their relationship at first but thought that they were effectively keeping it hidden from everyone. Nina still makes fun of them to this day

Nina would always be running about and playing spy. Poking around in other people's things and investigating stuff

The Darkling has a lot of self loathing when it comes to Luda and how she died, and more specifically about how much he thinks she'd hate him now, knowing what he's become

Grisha in the Palace trust the Darkling enough to know his shadows aren't dangerous to them, but they really play it up to outsiders as a way to protect both the Darkling and themselves

The Darkling is a Science Dad (tm)

The Darkling works really hard to dismantle the dozens of pranks the younger Grisha set up around the Palace, but sometimes when they're targeted at someone particularly horrendous he'll look the other way

Mal and the Darkling would bond over war table talk and the Darkling would totally be floored by Mal's intelligence

The Darkling stops being scary to the Grisha basically as soon as he acts really soft towards a kid for the first time, but the Grisha in the Palace keep up appearances for the sake of his reputation cause they know how important it is to him

Alina learned to ride horses when she was very young, and it took a lot of painstaking effort and money but she soldiered through. Now she adores horseback riding and takes every chance she can get to do so

Baghra didn't ever really accept the Darkling as trans, and only started using the correct pronouns after years of stubborn refusal. The process of her using his new name was slow and excruciating, and she still doesn't acknowledge that her child is actually a man if asked directly

Mal finding out he was trans was an abrupt process, but he had a very hard time socially adjusting as well. Alina helped him a lot in that time, even working hard to convince Ana Kuya to get different clothes for him. Alina worked through a lot of extra chores and schemes to make it as easy as possible for him

Alina likes to make little suns in the rooms she's in to make them brighter, and it's now a comfort thing for her as well as Mal. Whenever he enters a room he feels strange without her light there to help him see

The Darkling's relationship with Luda was queerplatonic. She was asexual and aromantic, and they were partners. The Darkling loved her but never got the chance to tell her because of his own insecurities. He regrets it to this day

Alina and Mal used to lead baby ducks back to their mommy ducks whenever they got lost in the nearby pond

The Darkling used to be very fond of animals when he was younger, but that softness was brutally drained from him by Baghra and the rest of the world quite quickly

Mal has Opinions on the treatment of pets and animals and will absolutely give you a three hour long lecture on how to take care of your dog

Alina beats Aleksander in a horse race and he's still a sore loser about it to this day

Mal fell off of a horse once when he was younger and still has some lingering trauma around riding

Alina, Mal, and the Darkling all suffer from heavy PTSD and help each other through it often. Alina and Mal reconnect when they meet again through talking about the things they've been through, helping each other through nightmares and kissing each other's scars. Guiding each other through panic attacks and other trauma responses

Alina was especially affected by the Druskelle attack on her carriage and her near death experience, along with the slaughter of her cartographer friends in the fold and Mal's near death. She still feels guilty about what happened to her unit and has to work through it quite often. Mal and the Darkling both help

[feckyeswriting]

Can we get prompt #5 for Darklina? Maybe Aleks gets hurt somehow and Alina is worried sick! Pretty pleaseeeeee❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#5 - "Without you, I have no one." oh this, this is my JAM!! One near-death experience incominggggg!

Stay, Stay (AO3 link)

They were prepared for the Fjerdans; the witchhunters were clever, yes, but they could only have so large of a group out past the borders even in the areas with the worst security and frequent skirmishes. Plus they had a not-unreasonable level of concern and fear when it came to the Darkling. Regardless of how much they wanted to remove the Sun Summoner from Ravka, they would need more than a small troupe of Druskelle to do so when she was travelling so well protected. 

But Aleksander’s Grisha were not considering outright betrayal from members of the First Army. When the first shots cracked from the woods, the expectation was that they would be coming from enemy sharpshooters.

In a way, Aleksander supposed that they were still the enemy. Just not the one they had anticipated. It seemed that Zlatan’s grip had been stronger in the West than expected and had stretched out even to members of the East Ravkan First Army.

His Grisha reacted appropriately, tightening up rank before advancing forward to identify and flush out the sharpshooters. That was when the knives came out; one didn’t need Grisha steel to pierce a kefta. The tightly woven fibers were effective at dispersing projectiles, not honed blades. And there were plenty of quiet nights to hone and perfect the edge of one’s hunting knife. 

A lesser man might have despaired from the realization that their escort had never intended to bring them home to Os Alta at all. This was far from the first time that Aleksander had been betrayed by those who claimed to be allies. It would not be the last, either. 

But Alina. 

She was still a stranger to treachery of this sort. Her brow had furrowed in confusion when confronted by someone in First Army olives, the common footsoldier’s uniform. The very same one that she herself had worn. 

Aleksander didn’t see the moment when that confusion moved to fury. His own attention snapped to protecting the both of them, to regrouping his men, to once again righting the wrongs cast against Grisha. He heard her scream though. It was the only thing louder than the pounding in his ears when the blade sank into his chest. 

“Darkling,” the First Army traitor snarled, as though it was an insult. He went down quickly, the otkazat’sya, not Aleksander. The Heartrenders had pulled back tightest to the group and strengthened the perimeter around them. Even the Oprichniki were kept on the outside. 

The rest of the details of the battle were lost to the periphery. Aleksander felt himself slump against the closest surface - the coach, probably? - and gaped at the knife’s handle that jutted out from his ribcage. Breathing hurt. His lungs felt like they had been stuffed with broken glass. 

Saints, he hadn’t felt this kind of pain in years. It was fresh and impossible to ignore with each ragged inhale. Slow aches, healing bruises, those were the pains that could be pushed past with ease. Right now, Aleksander could only grit his teeth. 

Blue and gold appeared in his vision, blurry but unmistakable in its owner. He saw shaking hands reach out to the blood-soaked kefta and the handle that stabbed through it. 

“Don’t,” Aleksander hissed, his voice ragged and harsh. 

Alina recoiled. “You’re bleeding. It might have hit something vital,” she replied. She reached again for the knife. 

Aleksander grabbed for her, succeeding on the second swipe of his hand. He pressed hard just before she could start to tug the blade out. The pain blinded him and he gasped. “Don’t take it out. The blood...,” he managed before running out of breath. 

He was seeing double, four worried dark eyes wavering in his vision, but he thought that he saw understanding or at least trust blink back at him. He let go and Alina did, too. 

“You’re going to be okay,” Alina insisted. It took him a long while to get the muscles in his neck to cooperate and nod along with her. “You’re going to be okay.”

Her hand wrapped around his as she kept him from wavering on his feet. Aleksander wanted to stand on his own, but his limbs only wanted to respond in fits and starts. His focus narrowed to his labored breathing and to the warmth of Alina next to him. She was talking again, he realized. Telling him the healer was working with one of the Grisha who had gone down from an unlucky shot to the neck. 

“Don’t leave me, Aleksander,” he heard her say. Her forehead was against his, her breath fanning warm in the early spring chill. She was so careful not to touch the blade again but not willing to part from him. A lazy smile drew across his lips. He thought he might have replied to her. Perhaps not, from how her plea grew more desperate. 

“Don’t leave me alone. Without you, I have no one.”

Aleksander found the strength to shake his head just one time. He should have waited until the healer came to push further; too much experience told him that he would be fine, but the Heartrender was probably going to give him a hard time about talking at all. Each word was punctuated by a fresh rush of sharp pain. 

“Alinochka, I would not dream of leaving you by yourself. Not when I have only just found you,” Aleksander breathed. 

When he had his proper strength back, he would brush those teardrops that spilled over her cheeks away. For now, he breathed in her scent and squeezed her fingers between his. 

“Stay with me.” Alina’s prayer continued until finally blue was swapped for red in front of him. Still, she kept his hand in hers, and he was glad for it.

---

Prompt list was from here: (50 romantic writing prompts).

[summerseachild]

I finished reading Six of Crows last night, and I have thoughts about the book and how the show made adaptation changes. I haven't flailed about a book on social media for a while, so thanks to @ravenya003 for encouraging me to post my thoughts.

So many spoilers for the book and the Shadow and Bone show to follow.

First of all, I loved it. I loved getting to spend more time with these characters, and getting to see their relationships with each other develop, and not just the romantic ones. (For instance, I am HERE for Nina and Inej’s friendship and how they support each other at key moments. So good. Can’t wait to see them interact in the show now.)

Second, I’m kind of glad they aged up the characters for the show just a wee bit. I kept having to remind myself that book!Matthias is the oldest of them at 18, and he’s been in Hellgate prison for a year. They’ve all been through a lot, and for me at least, making them all early 20s instead of mid to late teens for the show made a lot more sense.

So I knew the basics of Kaz’ trauma because I went out and spoiled myself, but actually reading it was rough. I knew that he blamed Pekka Rollins for Jordie’s death, but I didn’t know anything about the depth of the long con. I think I knew there was an illness outbreak involved, and my guess going in was that Pekka’s gang robbed and killed Jordie while he and Kaz were both sick, but what actually happened is so much worse. No wonder Kaz has trust issues. Also, the bit about how he had to get back to shore after being dumped with the rest of the bodies is going to stay with me. So good. So upsetting.

And then there’s Inej… I loved her in the show, and I just… love her more now. I love that she’s brave and capable and wants something more for herself… that’s something that I actually really like about all of the tangled relationships in this book? They all have things that are really important to them outside of being part of the group or having FRUSTRATING FEELINGS THAT MADE ME SCREAM IN SHIPPER. Anyway… that moment where Inej realizes, while climbing up that incinerator shaft because Kaz trusted she could, that what she wants to do with her life and her skills is take down as many slavers as humanly possible was amazing. I loved it.

We got little hints of all of the characters backstory in the show, but Nina and Matthias were just… straight up their flashback scenes from the book, with the timeline adjusted slightly. (Nina was originally out looking for Grisha with Zoya omg want to know more about that.) I like that show!Nina is a spy, what with all of those language capabilities. ANYWAY. Nina is just… vivacious and fun and very very sad at the same time, and reading all of those sweet Nina/Matthias flashbacks with dialogue just… used verbatim in the show because it’s SO CUTE interspersed with the way that she and Matthias interact in the “present” of the book was… devastating. Also I may have screamed FUCK YOU MATTHIAS and scared my dog at one point. If you’ve read it you know where. And then I had to take it back because the straight laced viking block of ice suddenly revealed he could lie like a PRO.

Wylan is adorable. I lost it at his "Who is mark?” question and Jesper’s utter exasperation. One of the things about Wylan I really love is how he shows how this little group of people just… takes you in as you are and really respects you for the skills you have and what you bring to the table. When he started making that tool to cut Fabrikator made glass out of parts lying around the gate house and Jesper’s improvised diamond drill bit, I was impressed. Also, Jesper whining about babysitting all the way to Fjerda was highly amusing. Oh my sweet summer child.

Have I talked about Kaz/Inej yet and how it is destroying my soul right now? Can I talk about how they are both such damaged people who “doesn’t trust easily” is the understatement of the year, but they trust each other and are vulnerable with each other and will do things that step all over their trauma for that trust. (I just about had heart failure when Inej let Nina put the Menagerie tattoo back on her.) And I have so much respect for Inej for realizing what she wants and not settling for anything less, but also poor Kaz for not being able just yet to explain why he’s got all of that armor in the first place (if I read correctly, he hadn’t even told her Jordie existed before the events of the book, much less exactly what happened.) And then things end how they end with them, and Inej gets fucking kidpanned, and it’s a good thing I bought a box set with Crooked Kingdom, which I will be starting today.

So I haven’t even talked about the heist yet, and I love heists. I love how it moved, I love how all of the parts fit together, and I am HORRIFIED by the existence of jurda parem. The book’s first chapter really sets the scene for how messed up that stuff is, and so the stakes were always high, but WOW. It really made the moment when Nina decides to take it and does what she does so powerful. (We still don’t know if she’s ok by the end… please be ok, Nina.)

Other places in no particular order I was Not Ok:

The scene in the wagon where Kaz is not doing well and Inej is trying to give him as much space as she can and a;dlkfajfa;kfljad; I’m fine.

Inej getting stabbed. Not. Cool. (But Kaz’ “I am going to do incredibly violent things to you because you hurt a person I cared about while appearing calm” pushes multiple narrative buttons of mine so good on you, LB.)

Nina and Matthias discovering the burned Grisha bodies and Jesper being the one to do the mercy kill so neither Nina nor Inej had to. That whole bit was ROUGH.

The reveal of the lab and how long the druskelle leadership has been experimenting on Grisha. I think I had to put the book down, take a few deep breaths, and go outside after that because WOW that’s nasty.

Other random favorite moments included:

Matthias being the one who speaks up for Kuwei when he and Nina find him (and the reveal that he’s an inferni and his dad was a Fabrikator… the fact that jurda parem started out as an experiment that was supposed to help Grisha control their powers and hide from persecution is just heartbreaking).

And to end on a happy note… One of my favorite visuals of this whole book is Jesper fricking Fahey driving a tank with a “Fjerdan might” banner streaming behind it. I cannot WAIT to get to see this with my own two eyes.

And now I’m going to go start Crooked Kingdom because I will not be ok until Inej is ok.

[ghostiewriter]

(Spoilers for Six of Crows)

Me again, with my obsession of the crows...

Who do you think had the most tragic/ painful journey and background out of the six of them?

I honestly think it's Inej....Kaz and Matthias (the latter is often forgotten, but the poor boy lost so much) are close seconds. Because 1) she had a home and was wrenched from it. 2) Had her humanity crushed so that a disgusting woman could make money. 3) I feel like while the rest found some purpose (Kaz with revenge, Matthias with being a druskelle, etc.), she didn't. She became the wraith so she could earn her way out of the contract. And it wasn't until the incinerator climb (where she almost died!) that she finally know what she would do.

Other than this, the . amount of times she had bled for her crew gets me every time...

And now I'm crying.. great.

Bless dude, nah I love your asks!😂I’ll do a wee under the line thing so people who haven’t read it can avoid more spoilers though!!

It’s honestly so hard to choose because each of them have gone through their separate journeys, all traumatic in their own right and I honestly feel bad for comparing them 😅they are all shit and I wouldn’t like to have experienced any of them! I do think they all kinda represent different reactions to trauma and PTSD though, which I quite like.

Kaz obviously was not always the suave schemer we know. He was once a naive, young boy who believed what the adults told him. He would cling onto the last of his family and he trusted people that were scummy idiots in the end. I think being played by them and them being the cause of his brother’s death plays a lot into his reaction. When we first meet Kaz, he’s portrayed as this stone-cold, uncaring dude who gives zero shits about anything that doesn’t benefit him. But the more we read, we see that he’s actually gone out of his way to avoid making the same mistakes. He never trusts anyone blindly, but he does open somewhat up to the people he could consider the closest thing to his chosen family (Inej and Jesper) and it’s something we don’t really talk about tbh.

Inej, like you said, went from having everything to nothing so quickly. She had her family, she treasured what she was good at and she quite enjoyed her life and then it was all stripped away from her and she was thrown into a place where she had zero control over anything she did. She had her freedom stripped away from her, and I think that’s why being the Wraith is the perfect contrast to her trauma. As the Wraith she may be doing bad things and not being as honest or kind as she once was, but she is controlling everything. When she’s jumping between rooftops, hiding in the shadows, all of it is under her control. She names her knives, she knows how to use them and she is the one that can be seen at any point whenever she chooses to. It’s really important and don’t even get me started on how her relationship with Kaz because I have so much to say for the both of them!

Jesper represents this underlying fear in everyone’s head of “I don’t want to disappoint my parents” and it’s the motive that kinda pushes a lot of his actions. He’s been through so much and then here his father gives him a chance to be a better man, he blows it and that guilt haunts him. His addiction to gambling is more than just about winning, it’s those moments just when he knows he’s going to win and the look on people’s faces after when he’s done just what he’s been boasting all night about. There’s no disappointment in their faces when it happens and that’s the high he chases. I think his father learning the truth plays a big part in him coming to terms with what he’s been hiding from, but also his friendship/brotherhood with Kaz. Because that boy always knows what to expect, he always has a plan B, he knows everyone’s next move because he’s always three steps ahead so therefore he can’t be disappointed in Jesper and that’s literally one of the best things for him.

Nina, bless her heart, I love this girl so much and what she’s been through just HURTS my soul. From being grisha, being captured and having her whole journey with Matthias, their separation and their eventual reunion. Creating that bond again and having to explain her actions (ones she did for her own survival so you can’t really blame her). But the thing about Nina that breaks my heart is the fact she’s still so hopeful. She still talks about her home like it’s there and thriving, she’s gotta quite an optimistic view even throughout the books. It’s not only a beautiful contrast to Matthias, but it’s just such a refreshing breeze from the rest of the crows in their outlooks. But you see her sacrifice so much, taking the powder and fighting that addiction, struggling to use her powers that she once was able to use without a blink of an eye, see her lose Matthias and starting to lose that sunshine as well. It’s heartbreaking and knowing her story isn’t over completely with King Of Scars, I do hope that Nina regains some happiness in her life cause that girl fucking deserves it.

Matthias is such an underrated character and so is the shit he’s been through. Peoples’s issue with him is somewhat similar to the reaction/hate towards Chaol from the Throne of Glass series, in the sense of their reaction to the thing they’ve been grown up and trained to hate. Matthias has known nothing but his purpose of a solider. He’s trained to be such and he’s trained to have a deep-rooted, prejudice hatred towards Grisha. His relationship with Nina is obviously a big part in him overcoming that, but it’s still not perfect and we can see that plenty of times whenever any other Grisha other than Nina is brought up or she discusses her home. It’s definitely environmental but it still plays a huge part in his identity crisis as well. And just think, he trusted Nina and she “betrayed” him and he was thrown into a prison because of it with no real inclination of why she did so until a year or so later. Think about what he had to go through in that prison, we even see him fight the animal he has worshipped all his life because he had to prioritise his survival. We see the other soldiers in the Ice Court mock and tease and judge him for the man he had to become because he was fighting for his own survival. His trauma and challenges and identity crises stems from the environment he was raised in, but he does overcome it in the end and it’s a fact that people seem very eager to skim over. I think that’s why his death hit me so hard when I read it because of his last chapter when he realised he was able to go home to the wolves, but he knew a part of him still belonged to Nina. God I’m crying now!!

And Wylan, bless his heart, this boy owns my heart and I wish to protect him from everyone. Growing up in an environment where you’re constantly told you’re not good enough is shit. Finding out your father faked your mother’s death is also shit. Finding out your father is an asshole who paid to have you killed is beyond shit. And yet, there was always a part of him that wanted to make his father proud because he wanted to prove him wrong, show him that he was worth surviving. It’s honestly so sad because his father couldn’t see how intelligent he was in other subjects. His father was so one-minded and picky and once Wylan realised that, and realises he shouldn’t have to prove anything to this piece of shit, his character growth is beautiful. It really changes him, makes him much more ruthless tbh and I think that shows in Crooked Kingdom when he and Kaz are quite buddy-buddy . He’s gone from being this naive boy that no one trusted and believed could ever do any good and he’s given his life purpose. He’s come out of his shell and he’s much stronger than the person he first was when we met him and I love it honestly. He becomes so much more sure of himself when he drops that “I need to prove myself to my father” weight off his back.

ANYWAYS😂I’m sorry for that wee rant but tbh I honestly don’t know who I would say had the most tragic backstory because they are all shit and I wouldn’t want to experience any of them. In conclusion, I love all of them very much and would like to protect them from the world :)