#druskelle

[jkriordanverse]

Grayson Hawthorne, Jacks, Jason Grace, Dean Redding, Aaron Warner( idk i dont know the guy), Savannah Grayson, Matthias Helvar, Keefe Sencen, Nikolai Lantsov

[crowsmischief]

in another life matthias and nina are very happy and very in love eating waffles in their farm taking care of trassel and growing yellow tulips, not in this one tho because leigh hates me.

[jenlizrose]

sad white wolf himbos and their hot sorceress wives trope is my favourite:

[datura-meloxia]

So, this may not be the typical iteration of this character that people would have expected, but I’d like to introduce my own version of our beloved Fjerdan, Matthias Helvar!!

Now, I’m neither 6’4” nor super hench like Calahan Skogman, so I kind of took that as the go ahead to make this version of Matthias completely my own. I was inspired by a lot of different fan art and then some specific details about druskelle taken from the books (and of course I had to fit Trassel in there too!!)

Getting to meet Freddy and Amita in this cosplay at MegaCon was so wild, and Freddy recognising it as Matthias was really really special. When I though it couldn’t get any better, I got to show Danielle pictures of the cosplay at the play she and Freddy were a part of, and she LOVED IT!! She even took photos on her phone to show to Cal!! (My friend managed to get some pictures of her reaction and it was the best thing ever!!!)

And to top it all off, Leigh Bardugo herself has now seen and liked my photos on Instagram… I don’t think I’m ever going to get over how WILD these last few days have been!

So with that being said, hope you all enjoy my Matthias as much as Leigh and the cast have :)) 🐺🤍

[mysteryofvampires]

My type? Blond, blue eyed scandinavian boys with problems!!!

[honeii-puff]

There is something that really confuses me about when people talk about Matthias’s hairstyle

So in the books, when Drüskelle are on their first mission, they aren’t allowed to grow out their hair. It has to stay buzzed, proven by the comment “when we get home, I’m growing my beard down to my naval” from one of the druskelle when Nina was taken captive.

They don’t have that rule in Hellgate. So it grows out.

And then he has someone (forgot who) on the ship help him cut his beard cuz the cuffs make it hard.

So I’m confused why people were dissapointed to see him with scraggly hair in Hellgate, when that’s how it’s supposed to be.

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: “I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

For Matthias x Grisha!Reader please!!

Bestie, your testing my writing capabilities with Matthias and you know it, I will try my best but I don't think I got the skills to write him well

I Didn't Ask To Have These Feelings For You - Matthias Helvar

Content Warnings: Fjerdan Views Of Grisha. Canon Complaint Threat And Violence. Not Beta/Proof Read.

Heartrender Reader.

Love is the death of duty, those words have never meant much to Matthias, they were something he would hear people say outside of Fjerda, when he was travelling with the Drüskelle, but they didn't reach him, they didn't mean anything to him. Not until you.

He had not known you were grisha at first, you had found him, unconscious by the waters, the ship he was on had gotten lost in the fog on the trip by the Bone Road, and he had been headed for Vilka, under orders to bring back what he would undoubtedly find there. But he never quite mad it to Vilka, the black waters and the heavy air had gotten to his head and he got off the ship before they correct course. Matthias had planned to get himself back together and then continue his journey, but somewhere along the line things had gotten messy, he had been knocked unconscious by strangers that mistook him for a threat to them, and maybe he would've been, had he known they were grisha to begin with.

But when he had woke you had been cleaning the cut on his head with a warm rag and you offered him salted fish and honey water and he had not known how to respond to your kindness. You had been nothing but gentle, and welcoming, and he was a stranger in your home. Your home which you had brought him into, knowing what a danger he could pose to you, even if he didn't know it at the time, you had. You are grisha, and a Fjerdan is always a risk to you, but a Drüskelle, that's inviting a death wish into your home, and yet you couldn't just leave him for wilderness, for all the rolling fields and mountains, the landscape wasn't all that forgiving to strangers, you hadn't doubted someone from Fjerda could understand what what was like.

"You live alone?" he had asked you and you had laughed it off, typical for that to be the first thing he would ask.

"Yes," you had told him, "it's not as uncommon as you might think."

"Yet you brought me into your home," he stated. You had waited a moment for him to elaborate and when he hadn't you refilled his drink with a sigh and a gentle shake of your head.

"You have to believe there is good in people still, White Wolf," you had told him. He had ragged a hand across his blonde hair at that comment. "It's about honour is it not? Your whole thing?"

"Drüskelle are honourable," he had stated.

"Well I brought you into my home, unarmed and unchained, to tend to the wounds of a strange I had found who would've surely died or succumb to some dreadful fate, not being from this place, and being so close to the castle ruins, you're inviting danger in that. So surely, if Drüskelle are such men of honour, I had no reason to afraid, because what honour would there be in doing harm to me after that is what I have done?"

Matthias hadn't had a response to that, because you were right, you had shown him kindness, and you were to expect nothing in return except the respect to not harm you for such kindness, as a Drüskelle he meant you no harm if you were not a threat, and he saw you not as a threat at all. He saw just gentle smiles, and healing hands and slightly burnt bread in attempts to make him food.

He saw only how you hummed to yourself while you cooked, how each time he ate he felt better, he felt stronger, and how you could tell so much about the day by looking at the sky. You had asked about his home, about his faith and he had talked to you with more comfort than he would've expected, but you were quickly becoming a stranger no longer, and instead someone he knew. Someone he felt he knew.

You hadn't planned on falling in love with him, you had hoped that maybe through kindness and companionship he would grow to see you as a person, before he had any idea you were grisha, and you hoped that knowing you before he knew would give him grounds to consider that maybe grisha were more than witches. You knew it was a risk, but considering being found out would mean the Kaelish would come for your blood anyway, you weren't a stranger to the danger on the doorstep. Also knowing Fjerdan's were on the Isle's looking for grisha meant the risk was already at your doorstep, and you could run, you could fight, or you could try and change their minds, even if it was only one at a time.

You'd hoped to gain his trust, maybe even cultivate a type of friendship between the two of you, something that might withstand learning that you were born to use The Small Science.

But somehow it had gotten itself further along than that, deeper rooted, and you could feel him in your skin as you walked beside him. You'd fallen in love with a Drüskelle. And part of you was willing to believe he had fallen in love with you too.

That's what makes this moment, this moment you knew was going to come eventually, but you hadn't pictured it like this. One of the kids from the isle had fallen from the rocks and had hit her head, and despite keeping to yourself for your safety, the kids in the area knew you well enough as the one with the medicines. So it was no surprise when the kids turned up at your door searching for help.

You treated the girls wounds with the medicines you had, bandaging up the wounds, and while the kids paced outside you listened closely to her heartbeat, counting her breaths, assessing her quietly, in the way only you could. You felt Matthias watching you, but you knew it's all concern and not suspicion. But then you feel it, the cracked bone that is lodging itself in tissue where it will only do harm.

"Matthias," you said softly, "can you pass me clean water?" Your attempt to send him on an errand long enough to do what you can for the kid was well thought out, and it should have worked. But when the bone snapped back into place it was Matthias's sharp inhale of breath that you heard.

You turned to him and his eyes were on you, wide and filled with a hurt you recognised all too well. "Matthias-,"

You don't get to speak before he has disappeared into the fields. You finish bandaging up the child and as she wakes you explain what to tell her parents and you watch the distance as they walk her back home. You've done this enough times, enough times that you probably should have been caught out by now. But some children talking of the healer in the woods, always sounded more like a folktale or an exaggeration than something to investigate and if they ever came looking for you, your medicinal practice you hoped would be enough to cover your tracks, no one had seen you were grisha, not until Matthias, not until now.

You're walking the lower rocks of the mountain, you're not sure if he has disappeared to never return, or if he plans to come back with reinforcement. The look in his eyes before he left is haunting you, like the ghosts you were told stories of when you were young.

You hear a heartbeat, steady and strong behind you, one that is familiar in it's rhythm, and you know you should feel afraid, he is Drüskelle, he has been raised and trained to do nothing but hate you, to track and capture and eventually kill you. But you can only bring yourself to feel relief.

"Matthias," you say without turning around.

"I was told that you were crafty and but I underestimated how deep that scheming can run," Matthias says.

"It wasn't a scheme," you say, keeping your back to him, scared to see what is in those icy eyes of his, scared of the hatred you might find there, the rage. You cling to the last memory you have of those eyes, all confused and hurt, because hurt you could accept, hurt you had earned. You had deceived him, you had let him believe things because you were sure you could bring something better out of it by letting him live in the lie for as long as you could, and you had known that was wrong, you had known the trust you were betraying but it was the only option you felt was there for you. It was that or send him on his way, and let him go on believing all that he was taught, save yourself the pain, and whatever may come, but never take the chance to change something. To let someone see, really see, where they have been misguided, and if you wanted to change the views of the world for anyone, you wanted that for Matthias. He is gruff and he is stoic, but there's a softer man inside the skin of the wolf, he has a hero's heart, not a warriors. And you might just die in choosing to believe that, and you are willing to play those odds. "I did not bewitch you Matthias."

"You lied to me," he says. You move to look at him, trying to gather the strength of heart to face him. "Don't turn around."

"Why not?" you ask. "Scared to look at me Matthias, scared of what you will see?"

"I am not scared of you," he tells you. You nod and spin on your heels, your stare burrowing into his and he darts a look away, scared that you will see the way his harshness softens at the sight of you.

"I am not something to be scared of," you tell him.

"You shouldn't have saved me," he tells you.

"Why?"

"Because I came here for you."

"Romantic," you say, the world brittle enough it nearly snaps on your tongue. He shakes his head at you.

"You shouldn't have-,"

"I shouldn't?" you ask. "I shouldn't have what? Cared for you? I shouldn't have saved that girl? I shouldn't have helped every broken child that has come to me? I shouldn't have given you shelter, and food and comfort? I shouldn't have shown you kindness and understanding, despite knowing what you are because of the knowledge that if you knew what I was you would not do the same? Are those the things I shouldn't do? Or should I not use the Small Science at all? Should I let my body grow sick by not giving it what it needs, let my gifts go to waste and not protect those I can from harm? Or are you Drüskelle still so naïve to believe that this gift, is something I chose for myself, and not something I was given? No, because you don't think we grisha are human, so you know at the very least it isn't that. Tell me Matthias? In all the time we have spent together, would you say I am not human? Would you put me on trail and call me witch because I dared to care about others enough to risk my life to act on it? Is that what makes me less than human, that I am willing to suffer the consequences of doing everything within my capability to help others? Is that what I should not have done, Matthias?"

"You healed me," Matthias says slowly, as it dawns on him after all this time.

"Slowly, in small ways," you admit. "I shouldn't have done that?"

"No!" he sounds angry now, but the anger isn't all at you, part of it is at himself and you can feel it in the cold air between you both.

"What about what you shouldn't have done?" you ask. "You shouldn't have let me finish what I was doing, you shouldn't have let me heal that child, you should have carted me off to your commander in chains, ready for a judgement you know will only get me killed."

"Stop," he says, and the roughness around the edges of his voice becomes more dulled.

"Where in the list of all the things I shouldn't have done, can we compare to those sins of your own Matthias, shouldn't you have left by now?" you ask. "What else shouldn't you have done? Befriends a girsha-,"

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!” He snaps.

You lose all your fight with one sentence. It had been foolish of you to believe his feelings were the same of yours, and it had been even more foolish of you to believe those same feelings could withstand the knowledge of what you are. You were a fool to think he would love you, and a fool twice over to think he would love you still, and yet.

"But you are," it's a statement but it feels like a question as you say it, as if you could still be wrong, like you might just be the fool yet. But Matthias is a fool twice over beside you, for thinking he could not fall in love with you, and then thinking learning what you are would be enough to severe those feelings. It was not, and he doubted anything could break what he feels for you from him, his feelings were a part of him, his feelings for you as much a part of him as the blood in his veins.

"Love is the death of duty," he says through pressed lips, eyes closed tight as if he could wish the twisting feeling in his chest away, the feeling that he is betraying all that he has ever known.

"Matthias..."

"And to do that, I betray my country, my home, I become lost and forsaken, Djel-,"

"You think your gods know not enough about love to forgive you for being in it?" You ask. "Does your god not believe in love Matthias?"

He ignores you. "Then I am a traitor, and I am dishonoured and renounced, and then what do I have?" He asks.

"Me," you tell him, "you would still have me." His eyes meet yours with such a ferocity you fear you might fall back off your feet, but you stand your ground. "Would that ever be enough?"

He is silent for what might have been a blink of an eye or years before he speaks again. "In another life, you and I would not have been born to these roles, we might have had simpler lives, one where I would meet you in a place where music is playing, that song you hum to yourself, and we would have met and I would have brought you flowers and sweet things and you would have walked the paths of the places we knew and nothing would have cause for this much pain," he says. "But that is not our lives. You and I cannot deny what we are."

"And what are we White Wolf?" you ask daring to step closer.

"Lost," he whispers, reaching out to place a hand on your cheek, "and in each other, found." He is not at peace with himself, you can see the war in his eyes and the fear in them, the desire to run and hide and pretend that you never existed. His world could be so much smaller again, so much easier, where the rules all make sense and everything plays into a justice he understands, what he was raised in. But that would mean leaving you, and leaving you would be as good as handing you over to them, because you are not safe, not in this place and not in this world, too soft and too openhearted. Matthias is unsure of what it means, on a large scale or a philosophical one, but he knows one thing, that as hard as it pushes up against everything he has ever known and believed in, threatening to tear it apart brick by brick, he knows must be true. Love might be the death of duty, but he can let it die, if it means he gets to love you.

[atac-agent]

Helnik || GHOSTS OF OUR PAST || Chapter 2

Timeline: Just after Crooked Kingdom, right before King of Scars

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2.8K+

Note: totally not venging revenge for my wasted tears over the untold story of helnik-

• masterlist // prologue // prev. chp // next chapter (coming soon)

---

Nina's heart pounded in her chest as she stared at the figure before her. The flickering candlelight cast eerie shadows on the walls, making the face of the intruder even more sinister. She took a step back, her mind racing with a thousand possibilities.

The figure smirked, taking a deliberate step forward. "Surprised to see me, Nina?"

Nina's breath caught in her throat. She recognized the voice, though it had been years since she had last heard it. "Jurgen," she whispered, the name escaping her lips like a curse.

Jurgen, a former drüskelle, had been one of Matthias' closest comrades. He was ruthless and unyielding, known for his brutal efficiency in hunting down Grisha. How had he found her here in Ketterdam? And why now, when she was already at her weakest?

"What do you want?" Nina demanded, forcing herself to stand tall, despite the fear gnawing at her insides.

Jurgen's smirk widened. "Revenge, of course. You took Matthias from us, and now you'll pay the price."

Nina's mind raced as she tried to formulate a plan. She couldn't afford to show weakness, not now. "Matthias chose his own path. He wasn't yours to control."

Jurgen's eyes narrowed. "He was ours until you corrupted him. But no matter. Your death will send a message to all who think they can defy us."

Nina swallowed hard, feeling the weight of Matthias' jacket still clutched in her hands. She needed to buy time, to find a way to turn the situation in her favour. "Do you really think killing me will bring him back? Matthias wouldn't want this."

Jurgen's expression darkened. "Don't pretend to know what Matthias would have wanted. You twisted his mind, made him weak."

Anger flared within Nina, a fierce protective instinct she couldn't suppress. "Matthias was stronger than any of you. He saw the truth, saw that the world wasn't just black and white. He chose love over hate."

Jurgen's lip curled in disdain. "Spare me your sentimental drivel. Your time is up, Nina Zenik."

With a swift motion, Jurgen drew a dagger, the blade gleaming menacingly in the candlelight. Nina's heart skipped a beat, but she refused to back down. "You're making a mistake," she said, her voice steady. "Ketterdam is under Kaz Brekker's control. You won't get out of here alive."

Jurgen laughed, a harsh, grating sound. "Kaz Brekker? The so-called Bastard of the Barrel? He means nothing to me."

Nina's mind raced. She needed to think quickly, to find a way to outmanoeuvre Jurgen. She focused on her training, on the lessons Matthias had taught her about survival and resilience. "Then let's see if you can handle me," she said, summoning all her courage.

Before Jurgen could react, Nina lunged forward, using the element of surprise to her advantage. She grabbed a nearby candlestick and swung it at him with all her strength. The heavy metal connected with his arm, causing him to drop the dagger.

Jurgen snarled in pain and rage, but Nina didn't give him a chance to recover. She kicked the dagger away, sending it skidding across the floor. "You're not going to win this fight," she said, her voice filled with determination.

Jurgen's eyes blazed with fury, but there was a hint of uncertainty in his gaze. "We'll see about that," he growled.

Before he could make another move, he suddenly stiffened, his eyes widening in shock. A thin line of blood appeared on his neck, and he collapsed to the floor, dead.

Nina's knees buckled, and she sank to the floor, the adrenaline leaving her body in a rush. She looked up to see Inej Ghafa appear from the shadows, her expression calm and steady. "You're safe now," Inej said softly.

Nina nodded weakly, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "I... I think so."

Inej helped her to her feet, her grip steady and reassuring. "We need to be more careful. It seems our enemies are closer than we thought.

Nina's mind was still reeling from the encounter, but she knew Inej was right.

Nina took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. She knew she couldn't delay her journey to Fjerda any longer. She needed to bury Matthias and find some semblance of peace.

The next morning, the Van Eck Mansion was bustling with activity. Jesper and Wylan were already in the study, sorting through documents and maps. Kaz was at the desk, his fingers steepled in concentration as he reviewed the necessary transactions.

"Nina, you need to be ready," Inej said looking up from the map. "The journey won't be easy. I have spoken with the crew. We all give you all the help we can. In the meanwhile, why don't you come with me? There's a place we can go for waffles. You need a moment to breathe."

"Are you sure?"

"Com'on Nina. How can it hurt?"

Nina hesitated, glancing around the room filled with maps and plans, the weight of her next steps looming over her. But the thought of waffles, warm and sweet, tugged at something deep within her—something that reminded her of simpler times, of moments shared with people she loved.

Nina chuckled, the sound foreign and out of place amidst the wreckage of her mind. But she nodded. “Alright, let’s go. I can’t say no to waffles.”

The two women left the mansion, slipping into the bustling streets of Ketterdam. The cold air nipped at their cheeks, but Nina welcomed it, letting the sharpness of the wind clear her mind.

As they walked, Nina let her thoughts drift. For a brief moment, it felt like she was a normal person again, just two friends going out for breakfast, without the weight of death and duty pressing down on her. She clutched Matthias’ jacket tighter around her, feeling the familiar roughness of the leather against her skin.

"How do you find these places?" Nina finally asked, breaking the silence.

Inej glanced at her, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "It’s Ketterdam. You just have to know where to look."

Soon enough, they reached a small, tucked-away café, the kind of place you could easily miss if you weren’t paying attention. The warm scent of baking bread and syrup hit Nina the moment they stepped inside, and for the first time in what felt like days, a genuine smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

The place was cozy, with just a few tables scattered around and a handful of customers already enjoying their breakfasts. Inej led them to a table by the window, where they sat down, letting the warmth of the café sink into their bones.

A kind-looking woman with flour dusted on her apron approached, her smile bright and welcoming. "What can I get for you ladies?"

"Waffles," Inej said before Nina could even open her mouth. "Two plates, with all the toppings."

Nina raised an eyebrow at her friend. "All the toppings?"

Inej’s smile widened. "You’ll need it."

The woman bustled away, leaving the two of them alone again. Nina stared out the window, watching as the people of Ketterdam went about their business, oblivious to the battles and heartaches she carried with her.

"It’s hard," Nina said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "To keep going. To act like everything’s normal when it’s not."

Inej didn’t answer right away. She simply let the silence hang between them for a moment, before speaking softly. "I know it’s hard, Nina. But you’re not alone. And you don’t have to be strong all the time."

Nina swallowed, her throat tight. "I keep thinking about him. How I failed him."

"You didn’t fail him," Inej said firmly, "You loved him. And that’s what matters."

As they waited, Nina's thoughts kept drifting back to Matthias, to the life they could have had together. When the waffles arrived, she found she couldn't muster the enthusiasm she usually had for the treat.

"Nina, it's okay to grieve. You don't have to be strong all the time."

Nina looked up, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Inej, I don't know how to do this without him. He was my anchor, my rock."

Inej reached across the table, taking Nina's hand in hers. "You helped me when I was at my lowest, remember? When Oomen cut me, you brought me back. You showed me how to fight, how to survive. Now it's my turn to help you."

Nina let out a shaky breath, the tears finally spilling over. "I miss him so much, Inej. It feels like a part of me is missing."

Inej squeezed her hand. "It's okay to miss him. But remember, Matthias wouldn't want you to give up. He'd want you to keep fighting, to keep living."

Nina nodded, trying to absorb Inej's words. "You're right. He would."

Nina stared down at the waffles in front of her. Normally, she’d dive right in, smothering them with extra cream and berries. But today, they seemed almost... foreign. She poked at them with her fork, letting the smell and warmth curl around her, though it did little to comfort her heart.

Inej remained silent, sipping her tea, her presence steady like the tide. She knew when words would help and when they’d simply add to the noise in Nina's head.

After a moment, Nina took a bite, savoring the sweetness despite the bitterness in her chest. The food tasted good, but it couldn’t fill the void Matthias had left behind. "I wish he could’ve tasted these," Nina said softly, her voice cracking just a little.

Inej looked at her with quiet understanding, but she didn’t push. She never did. Instead, she let Nina's words hang in the air, knowing that it was enough for now.

As they finished up, Inej gently placed a few coins on the table and rose to her feet. "Ready?"

They ate in silence for a while, the sound of other patrons laughing and chatting quietly filling the cozy café. Nina tried to focus on those noises, tried to pretend like everything was normal. For a fleeting second, she almost believed it.

Nina wiped her mouth with a napkin and nodded. "Yeah. Let’s get back. I need to focus."

The cold hit them again as they stepped outside, though this time it didn’t feel as biting. It was almost as if the small café had offered a temporary reprieve from the grief that threatened to suffocate Nina. She still carried the weight of her loss, but it felt... lighter, like a burden she didn’t have to shoulder alone.

They walked in silence, navigating the familiar streets back to the Van Eck mansion. The further they got, the closer reality crept in—plans, journeys, final goodbyes.

Back at the mansion, Jesper and Wylan were busy finalizing the preparations. They had gathered all the necessary supplies and were now packing them into sturdy crates.

Nina joined them, her heart heavy but resolute. "I'm ready," she said, her voice steady.

Jesper handed her a small, intricately carved box. "We found this among Matthias's things. We thought you might want to take it with you."

Nina opened the box, her breath catching when she saw the contents. Inside was a small, silver locket engraved with the words, "Jer molle pe oonet. Enel mörd je nej afva trohem verret." She felt a lump in her throat as she read the inscription. "I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath."

Jesper placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He wanted you to have it, Nina. To remember him by."

Nina closed the box, holding it close to her heart. "Thank you, Jesper. This means more to me than you know."

Kaz approached her, handing her a set of documents. "These are the arrangements for your journey. The ship will take you to Fjerda, and from there, you'll need to make your way to the burial site."

Nina took the documents, her heart heavy but determined. "I'll see it through. For Matthias."

The room around her hummed with quiet activity, but the world felt distant. She traced the inscription on the locket, the words grounding her as if they were Matthias' final vow to protect her even now.

Kaz’s voice broke through her thoughts. “The ship won’t wait, Nina.”

She lifted her gaze to meet his, nodding once. The Bastard of the Barrel was a man of few comforts, but Nina knew that his abruptness was his way of caring. She slid the locket into her pocket, feeling its cool weight settle against her. She would carry Matthias with her, always.

The others had gathered in the grand entrance hall—Jesper, Wylan, and Inej stood watching her, their faces shadowed with worry. But this wasn’t their fight, their farewell. This was hers alone.

Jesper, trying to keep the mood light as he always did, flashed her a crooked grin. “Don’t go causing too much trouble up there in the ice. We can’t all come and rescue you, you know.”

Nina forced a small smile, though it barely reached her eyes. “I think I’ve caused enough trouble to last a lifetime.”

Wylan stepped forward, handing her a small bag with rations and supplies. “It’s not much, but it should help until you reach Fjerda.”

Nina took the bag gratefully, glancing down at it. “Thank you, Wylan. I don’t deserve all this.”

Wylan opened his mouth as if to argue, but then thought better of it. He knew better than anyone that there was no talking Nina out of this.

The air in the mansion seemed to grow heavier, like the walls themselves knew this was a moment of finality. Nina had never been one to shy away from the truth, no matter how painful, but standing here, preparing to leave behind her only family in Ketterdam, the weight of it was almost unbearable.

Finally, she turned to Kaz. “I’ll be back,” she said softly.

Kaz met her gaze, unflinching. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Zenik.”

Nina bit her lip but nodded in acknowledgment. Kaz didn’t deal in hope, and Nina couldn’t blame him for that. She shouldered her pack and headed for the door.

As she walked down the grand staircase and out into the cold Ketterdam morning, Inej caught up with her.

“Nina, wait.”

Nina stopped, turning to find Inej with that familiar look in her eyes — the one that said she saw more than what was in front of her. The one that had always made Nina feel like Inej knew her in a way no one else could.

Inej took a step closer, her voice soft but firm. “Take care of yourself. And remember, you’re stronger than you think.”

Nina swallowed hard, nodding. “I will, Inej. Thank you.”

The two women exchanged a silent understanding. No more words were needed. Inej was a reminder of all the strength Nina had left in her, even when it felt like she had none. She would carry that with her, too, on this journey.

As Nina walked toward the docks, the city slowly began to stir to life around her. The familiar clamour of Ketterdam’s streets was distant now, a background hum as her thoughts focused inward. She was leaving behind a part of herself here, a life she had known and the people she had grown to love. But another part of her, the part that still belonged to Matthias, was pulling her north—back to the frozen wasteland that had taken him from her.

Each step felt heavier than the last, but with each breath, she steeled herself. The weight of her mission settled over her like a cloak, protecting her from the cold, from the fear, from the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm her.

Matthias had fought so hard for this—fought to change, fought to live. Now, it was her turn to honour him. She wasn’t just carrying his memory with her; she was carrying his fight, his hope. And somehow, through the numbness and the pain, that thought gave her strength.

As she reached the docks, the scent of saltwater and wood filled the air. The ship that would take her to Fjerda bobbed gently against the pier, its dark sails standing stark against the early morning sky. It wasn’t a grand ship, but it was enough. Enough to take her where she needed to go. Enough to take her home.

Nina paused for a moment, standing at the edge of the dock, her heart pounding in her chest. She took one last deep breath of Ketterdam air, letting the wind carry away some of the weight she had been holding onto.

And then, with steady steps, she boarded the ship. The journey ahead would be long, but she was ready to face the unknown.

Ready to honour Matthias by living the life he had fought so hard to protect.

[savethegrishaverse]

For our next twitter party, we want to talk about the "witch" hunters of the North, the Fjerdan #Drüskelle! 📚✨ Come prepared with your best tweets, questions, comments, gifs, memes, and more. Let's make some noise! 🗣️

#SaveShadowAndBone and #SixOfCrowsSpinoff TWEETING PARTY 7/23 at 12PM! Come check it out here!

Remember to:

Only use three hashtags.

Enjoy and be engaging with your tweets! Keep sharing! Timezones under read more.

If you cannot attend, you can always schedule tweets ahead of time on desktop in order to help out still!

ALL TIMEZONES: Tuesday, Jul 23: 9am PST 10am MST 11am CST 12pm EST 2pm -03 5pm GMT 6pm CET 8pm MSK 9pm +04 10:30pm IST

Wednesday, Jul 24: 1am CST 2am JST 4am AEST 6am NZST

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi!! this is a kinda random question, but I was just thinking about it. So we know that the Druskelle (and presumably most of Fjerda) are bigoted, racist, etc.. Does that stem from their culture and like the wars and stuff or is that part of their religion? I guess hypothetically could Matthias/Maya/your other Fjerdan ocs have corrected their prejudices and still believed in Djel or do the two beliefs contradict? Just wondering what your take is :)

Hi, thanks for the ask!

I absolutely adore religion in the Grishaverse and a while ago I wrote quite a long analysis on Matthias and Inej's relationship with their respective religions, mostly focusing on Djel since I feel I know more about Fjerdan religion than Ravkan having read the soc duology a lot more times than the other books, and I talked quite a bit about some of these things so I'll link that here in case anyone is interested and below I'll put a couple of quotes from that more specifically pertaining to what you've said here. Essentially, I believe that the Drüskelle order is a cult and represents a warped version of Fjerdan religion and that Matthias' journey of self-discovery and of learning to find the version of Djel that he believes in and that aligns with who he wants to be is one of the most beautifully written character arcs I have ever read.

Some quotes from my previous analysis:

"Theoretically, the Drüskelle are raised (forced) to believe the same basic principles of the religion that most of the religious people in the country are [...] However, what’s taken completely further is that the Drüskelle are told that the only way to be truly respected by their god is to take decisive action against Grisha people for their power, because it’s “demonic” and a warping of Djel’s gifts. Now first of all, none of the religious teachings we learn about as the reader even remotely suggest this, which suggest that it’s a baseless prejudice for which religion has been used as an excuse for so long that it’s become culturally ingrained and believed."

"Matthias even shows particular pride that he was personally told the secret of the second glass bridge by Jarl Brum himself"

"And this is the thing, ok, because by claiming that Djel will show the boys the path and then telling them himself (!!!!!!!!) Brum is claiming far more power than a servant of Djel and or Fjerda. No, now he turns himself into a messenger of Djel, a prophet if you will, just to reaaaalllly double down on that religious trauma he’s giving these kids. He is putting himself into the Messiah-like position; he’s saying that Djel sent him to them to tell them that they must kidnap and kill people to earn his love."

"in his own practice Matthias would appear to see Djel as a benevolent god"

"presented himself as a Messiah-like figure and effectively forced these young boys to believe that betraying him is akin to betraying Djel"

Okay I'm restraining myself from adding more to that list because I'm just sitting here reading through the original analysis going "ooo add that" "and that" "that too" and I'll just end up copy and pasting the whole thing if I carry on like this, so if you'd like to read more I should've linked it at the top :)

I'm gonna talk a bit about Djel and relationship with religion in terms of my Fjerdan OCs here, if anyone is interested but hasn't read the fic you don't have to have done to follow the religion info but it's worth knowing that it's set almost entirely in Ketterdam and takes place nearly 10 years after Crooked Kingdom :)

For my Fjerdan OCs religion is very much on my mind whenever I'm writing them, and I find it a very interesting thing to consider. So, I have three Fjerdan OCs in Daughter of the Rain and Snow: Maya, a Tidemaker and our titular character, Celina, a deceased (pre-events of the fic) otkazat'sya whose body was burned and who therefore cannot reach Djel, and Fiona, a Heartrender who lost her relationship with religion a long time ago and has no interest in taking it up again. I'm going to start with Fiona because I haven't really explored her relationship with Djel very much since she has had less scenes than the others thus far, but I tend to have quite fleshed out backstories for my side characters even if they don't make it into the story lol

Fiona is 22 during the events of the fic and has been working with Inej and the crew of the Wraith for almost four years. She made her way to Ketterdam at 17 after her family discovered she was Grisha and threw her out. In a desperate attempt to flee Fjerda - and notably not knowing any Kerch language - she signed an indenture contract with a Kerch merchant who offered her safe passage to the country. She did not know what she was signing, and her contract was written in Kerch, but she just wanted to get out of Fjerda as quickly as possible and this seemed like her only option. She was freed and ended up working with Inej when she was 18. Fiona had battled with her relationship with Djel for a long time after discovering she was Grisha and keeping it secret, but when her parents learnt the truth and started abusing her and eventually turned her out with nowhere to go and no protection to be found she adopted atheism completely, akin to the way Kaz and Wylan found their atheism. -

“Saints speed,” she said to Inej, who echoed the words she knew were said for her benefit alone.

Fiona had given up on Djel, the god she was raised with, and had no interest in taking up another. (Chapter 8) (I feel so weird quoting my own writing)

Religion is very much at the forefront of everything I write considering Maya and Celina, particularly since Celina only appears as a character in Maya's POV chapters (she exists more as a concept to Kaz, Inej, and Aimee, who connect her to things she represents to each of them but whom they never knew as a real person). Maya battling her relationship with Djel is very much in the forefront of the story and one of my favourite chapters is when she goes back to the tree she cut down in anger and prays for it; the chapter is essentially a long monologue of Maya talking to Djel and voicing every side of her argument out loud. I won't list everything here but I'll add this quote from the chapter:

“I’ve tried it every way,” she whispered, failing to fight the sobs that were growing in her throat, “I ignored it, I tried not to use it, I used it for others, I used it for myself, I used it for You. And I have somehow failed You every time. Maybe I deserve to burn now, but they say you are born Grisha. Did You really look at me and always know I would deserve to burn? From the very moment I was born? Perhaps this is all I am in Your grand tapestry of destiny; a game for You to play, a doll that You can take apart and stitch together at wrong angles. I am a broken toy that can be discarded and burnt whilst the world moves on as though I were never here. I made the wrong choices, but I thought they were the only ones left. You could have let me stay at home. You could have let her live - let both of them live. And I never would have done anything like this. I’m so sorry…” her voice broke and she felt the tears flooding over her cheeks as she collapsed over the ruined tree trunk and cried into its empty flesh, “I’m so sorry,” (Chapter 66 on tumblr, chapter 67 on AO3)

And the chapter ultimately ends with Maya asking Djel to teach her how to deserve forgiveness from Inej and the other characters for everything she'd done, or to at least teach her how to forgive Him.

I think one of the most important aspects of religion in terms of this and in terms of Maya and Celina's relationship with each other is that even though Celina knows Maya is a Tidemaker neither of them ever talk about it and Maya reached a point where she was actively afraid to bring it up because she didn't know how Celina felt about Grisha and she didn't want to jeopardise not only what is the only relationship she has with anyone right now but arguably what is the first relationship she's ever had that wouldn't be considered abusive (her relationship with her father is kinda up in the air, I know, but considering that he sold her I don't think it's a spoiler to say I hate that man's guts even though y'all have a little bit more to learn about him yet) since realistically Celina was the only person she had a real conversation with for three years and the only other people she spoke to in that time would be clients, Yennefer, and occasionally other girls at the Tulip Mill. Maya even saw Yennefer's death more as vengeance for Celina than she did for herself, saying that Yen's death was for Celina and Kaz's death would be for her before she finds out that Kaz was partially responsible for Celina's death in the worldview that she holds - and as Kaz considers himself no less responsible for her death than Rollins was for Jordie's. I don't know if I'm explaining it quite right but the fear that Maya developed surrounding other people's perspective on Grisha power preventing her from being able to share her feelings with Celina I found a really heart-wrenching detail to write and I was definitely hoping to present the idea that even if religiously the ideas don't contradict - considering that we see Celina adapt her belief in Djel to say that anything that she does at the Tulip Mill will be forgiven because she has no choice over it - culturally speaking it's still such a complex and difficult thing to move past that Maya isn't even sure she can ever express it to the only person she trusts, and I also hoped to touch on this idea with the flashbacks to the Ravkan boy at the Grisha workshop with Maya who didn't trust her because she was Fjerdan even though she was Grisha and had literally fled Drüskelle and her home country

Anyway I hope this made sense, it's starting to feel very rambly and random, and I hope that it was interesting to read. Thanks so much for teh ask and for your interest in the fic! <33

[potatounicoorn]

Army dreamers | Six of crows animatic

I made my first animatic! Crooked kingdom spoilers ahead. Hope you guys like it lol :D

[jkriordanverse]

A badass knife wife who is amazing and will not put up with your bs.

Kaz: where?

A young merchling flutist who occasionally blows things up.

Jesper: where?

A hot curvy Grisha you're supposed to be hunting down (+ also lewd in your head).

Matthias: where?

Bonus:

A gambling sarcastic funny & hot sharpshooter who is super super loyal.

Wylan [& Kuwei]: *in unison* Where?

[dreamtigress]

Vindingrijkheid

Vindingrijkheid (Fabrication/Invention) is a spinoff story from Kanej Wensen, featuring Jesper starting his apprenticeship with Tij Bashnya at Toren Leder.

This takes place during and after Verbanden & Geesten. Jes begins learning how to better focus his powers, some leather crafting, and a good chunk about his mentor as well. We get a section from Tij’s POV, and see how she views her new found apprentice. We also get to see Jesper and Tij trading stories as they work on a custom order for Kaz.

CW for some discussions of past trauma, death, grief, and torture.

[lesbiansoncaffiene]

Religion/Spirituality in the Grishaverse (I am thinking thoughts)

I wanna talk about Leigh Bargudo’s handling of religiosity in the Grishaverse, especially within the Crows (Inej and Matthias) and how much it means to me as a religious person

So. So so so so so. I’m not sure how to exactly explain this feeling but I’m in love with the way Leigh wrote the religious aspects of Inej and Matthias’ characters, and how much it spoke to me as a religious person the same age as the characters (16-18-ish)

For both, their religion is something they grow up with, ingrained in them throughout childhood and while it may have wavered within both as they go through life (Matthias meeting Nina and Inej getting kidnapped) they still maintain a connection to their respective higher powers.

And that’s something you don’t really see a lot in books, especially YA books, since it’s either never mentioned or rejected by the characters/society (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but this characterization of young people who are tasked with so much and still choose to believe in something greater than themselves is very personal to me and a big split from the usual narrative.

I dunno, but the little aspects of their faith journeys, like Inej saying a prayer after winning a fight or Matthias staying connected to Djel in Hellgate, that really speaks to me. Because religion doesn’t have to be this huge show, it really can just be a girl thanking her Saints for her life.

And on the topic of Saints, I’m high-key obsessed with Leigh’s decision to make Saints as opposed to a bunch of gods/demigods. Saints are something that are mostly seen in Catholic/Christian doctrine, and seeing her include Saints made me feel more connected to the universe she created, as someone who is a practicing Catholic.

(Also Inej naming her daggers after Saints?? Icon)

Another element I found to be really touching was the fact that both Inej and Matthias are shown struggling with their faith. A lot of times, characters are shown being pretty cemented in their faith if they have ones and we get a glimpse of two kids (cause they are) who are struggling with the things they’ve done and things that have been done to them, and still maintaining their faith.

Especially Inej, grappling with the fact that she’s a whole ass-assassin, and still maintaining her faith for forgiveness. Which, I for one, fully believe that she would be forgiven, cause she has a good heart, and does what she does to survive.

I could go on (I could write a whole essay about this fr), but these are just some main thoughts on religion in the Grishaverse and how much it means to me as a religious person (a folk Catholic, specifically). My religion is a big part of my life because of the things that have happened in it and my reaction to them, and it’s really cool to see that reflected in YA literature

[rrrustandstardusttt]

Matthias Helvar // Six of Crows Duology

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Febuwhump 26: Tear Myself Apart

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows and Shadow and Bone Summary: Nina would do just about anything to protect what she sees to be hers. Warnings: Major character injury, war, graphic depictions of violence, and implied character death Word Count: 3,585 Ship(s): Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik/Inej Ghafa/Kaz Brekker/Wylan Van Eck/Jesper Fahey

Archive link!

“Nina! You have to help them!”

Zoya’s voice ripped through her mind in a matter of seconds. She had been standing on the edge of the sick tent with her entire body frozen in place. It was like a vine had wormed its way around her ankle and over the rest of her leg to keep her in place, she physically hadn’t been able to make herself move. The only thing that she could do was stare directly ahead at the mess of bloodied, beaten bodies that were crowded around the cots.

She had known that this was what she was going to be getting into when she signed up for this. She had to remind herself that this was what war really looked like, not the paintings that they were shown when they were walking through the halls of their school. There was going to be no firebird flying over the dead bodies of the Fjerdans that had tried to attack the village on the edge of their borders. There was going to be no saint that would come by and touch them to heal their wounds so they could fight again.

She had to be the thing that put these people back together, even if they were all her partners.

The voice snapped through her body so that she was suddenly in motion. There would be no stopping her until the task was done once she had gotten moving. Zoya knew that, which was why she had snapped at her in that way anyways. It was the reason that Nina and Zoya had been able to work together better than Nina had with Genya.

She stepped up to the first cot and then grabbed the kit that was offered to her by one of the students. She tried not to pay attention to the way that Inej’s brow was placid but the rest of her face was contorted in pain. She carried every inch of burn and hurt in the way that her eyes scrunched shut and how her jaw became clenched tightly. “I’m here, love, you’re going to be okay,” Nina said, but even she didn’t believe it. The waver in her voice was stronger than the shaking of her left hand, the one holding the kit.

Nina set the medical supplies that she needed down on the bed and then closed the kit so that she could drop it down next to her feet. She reached down to Inej’s shirt and lifted it up so that she could see the grizzle wound leaking blood all over the bedding she was on top of. It was a stab wound about as long as Nina’s finger and piercing all the way down to the bone within. That wasn’t something that they saw commonly with the Druskelle, not since they had developed the smoke bombs that obscured vision enough that they could shoot without hindrance.

She knew how to deal with knife wounds regardless since blades were still favored by the Kaelish and the Shu, however. She reached for the water bottle that she was offered and then used it to douse the sterile gauze she had pulled from the packet. She then swiped it over Inej’s torso to get rid of some of the blood, so that she could better assess the wound. When Nina was finally able to see it, she had to wonder if the Shu were actually working together with the Fjerdans because no cut that clean could have come from a Druskelle.

The thought crossed her mind as quickly as it left and she was refocused back on getting her girlfriend into living condition. “I don’t have anything to pack it with for the pain,” Nina called into the tent, only to be ignored. She had always heard of people running out of things to help medically, but she had supposed that pain medication was going to be one of those thins that was used with a bit more forethought. It turned out that she had a lot more to learn about warfare than she had originally thought.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she plunged her fingers down into the wound in Inej’s side. She had to close her eyes in the attempts to block out the scream that the other woman let out. She knew that the nerves were already on fire, she could feel the signals that they were sending up to Inej’s brain to let her knew that what was happening shouldn’t have been. There was nothing that she could do, though, not if she wanted the other woman to live.

Nina traced her fingers along the base of the skin on the other side of the cut so that they knit themselves back together to become one. They would scar and be very ugly, but at least the veins there had stopped bleeding. She had to slowly draw her fingers back up until she had gotten about half of the blood vessels and other severed items pushed back together.

She felt a pair of hands grasp her shoulders and then shove her out of the way with a single swift movement. “Zoya!” she squawked when she saw that it was the very same mentor that had told her to do this in the first place. She hadn’t wanted to plunge her own fingers that deep into her girlfriend, to know what Inej’s life force felt like most intimately, but she had anyway. Fury was rushing through her now that she was distracted from her work. She knew that almost none of it had anything to do with Zoya and what she was doing but rather with what she had been forced to do. Her hands were slick with Inej’s blood and her girlfriend’s cries of pain were still ringing loud in her ears.

“You’re too slow, move onto someone else so that Ghafa doesn’t die,” Zoya replied.

Nina opened her mouth to argue but clamped it shut. She as petulant and a bit of brat, difficult to work with because of her arrogance about her own abilities. She knew that now wasn’t the time to let that part of her personality shine through. She had been given an order from a superior officer during a time of crises, so she had to follow it. Zoya was also originally in the same order as Inej, so the two of them had more things connecting them together on a comfort level than Nina did. She was only a Grisha and dating the other girl, not a Squaller and a Suli woman.

She turned on her heel and then moved onto the next cot. Wylan was sitting up and grasped the bottom of his leg, which was coated with a thick white pigment that she had never seen before. “What happened?” she asked as she looked him over. She reached for the medical kit that had already been placed at the end of the bed just so that she would have something to do.

“I- one of the bombs that I made misfired and it got all over me. This stuff is kind of like napalm, I’m terrified it’s going to go off and start eating through my skin,” his voice was shaky and scared as he spoke. His entire body was quivering with the force of his fear, but his hands were steadfastly in the same place that they had been before. Nina was able to see after a moment that he was keeping it in place with his powers, pushing it back and down every time the throbbing material tried to get further up his skin.

“How do we get rid of it?” she asked. She held out a gloved hand, one of the garments made with the rubber material that was supposed to be disposable and far more sterile than cloth, towards him.

Wylan yanked himself back and shook his head. “I need Kuwei or Jesper to help me. Kuwei knows how to burn it off without burning my skin and Jesper has been helping me make it in the lab, so he knows how it works. Now you have to leave me alone, I really need to focus on this.”

She opened her mouth once more to object, but she found that there was nothing she could say that wouldn’t make her seem like a child that was throwing a fit. Wylan knew best what was going to help him with the specific problem that he had accidentally created because he was one of two people that really knew how it worked. Despite how much she wanted to be able to alleviate the pain that was plaguing him, she knew that she was one again useless.

The best thing that she could do was move onto the next partner, who was on the other cot next to Wylan. She carried the medical kit with her as she tried to keep her tears inside of her eyes. The last thing any of them needed was for her to be crying when she was trying to mend them, not only because it was unsanitary but because it would upset them when they were already in so much pain.

Matthias was hunched up on the cot, one of his hands nestled against his chest. She could see that he was slowly drawing the water in the air towards the end that was holding his arm so that he could cool down the wound and ease some of the pain. “What happened?” she asked as she began to unpack the medical kit.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Trassel give a rough noise from underneath the bed. The Isenulf had been Matthias’ most trusted companion since he had arrived at the Little Palace a couple of years ago. The poor wolf had blood caked into the white fur around his maw and was cradling his own foot close to his body. She was going to have to get a look at him as soon as she had stopped the other Grisha from dying.

“I got bit by one of the Isenulf,” Matthias bit out. He turned so that he was facing towards her, offering his arm out to her. The blood had streaked on his white shirt, his blue kefta hanging open to reveal the peasant roughspun underneath that had been damaged from the fighting. She noticed that he hadn’t moved the hand that was supporting his arm, likely to continue to do his trick to dull the pain. She had seen him do it with wounds that were far smaller back when they were training.

“Right,” she nodded. She sat down on the edge of the bed and then placed his arm down into her lap so that she could examine the wound a bit closer. She had to brush her fingers over every single individual tooth mark so that she could make sure none of the bone had chipped off and wormed its way into the flesh where she couldn’t see. Then she had to do it again so that she could draw out the infected blood which carried more white than red blood cells. She had never been officially trained as a healer, she only had the cross training that all Heartrenders got now that Queen Alina had changed the way that the Second Army worked.

She had been so focused on the work that she was doing, trying to get the wound healed while using her spare hand to numb the nerves further up his arm, that she hadn’t noticed the commotion outside the tent. “Nina! We need you over here!” Fedyor called as he walked in with a very unconscious, very limp Kaz in his arm.

She sprang from the bed, forgetting that she had been holding onto Matthias’ arm. The infection was only half out and there was a lot more work that had to be done, but she could already see the way that Kaz’s leg was contorted in a shape it never should have been. He already had problems with his joints at time, so this was very bad.

Guilt washed over her like the waves of an enraged ocean sinking a Druskelle ship when she heard the grunted noise of pain Matthias released. She collapsed back down onto the bed beside him and reached out for her powers again. She felt like she was digging into the dirt to get to the water of her power, like the well had gone dry and she was pulling from the spring next to it that was far less refined. She could do it, but it took so much more energy than it had originally.

“Lay him down on the bed and I’ll get to him when I’m finished with Matthias,” she said. The words felt like she was leaving her boyfriend to die, but she knew that if she didn’t help Matthias then there was a chance that he was going to be far more hurt than he already was.

“What’s wrong with him?” Fedyor asked.

“He has a wolf bite. I’ve already got a bit of the infection out,” she explained. She didn’t know what kind of sick bastard would actively coat their wolf’s teeth in poison so that when they bit, they tore the skin and tainted the blood at the same time. She had to get it out of him before it spread further and he had to spend months fighting it off, even with the help of a proper Healer.

“That’s way to refined for you. Switch with me,” Fedyor said.

Nina tried not to show on her face how much this was affecting her. She knew that she wasn’t the most skilled when it came to her powers, but she was better than some yearling. She could kill someone or manipulate their very glans after only briefly seeing them on the battlefield. But none of that mattered when she was supposed to be a spy, when she was supposed to be able to heal the people she was with that got hurt or change their appearances so they didn’t get caught again.

She didn’t have to skill to do any of those things, so when she was in that situation she was shipped between things that she would do mediocrely until someone that was better came to take over. It was exactly what was happening now, but she was also having to deal with the fact that it was her partners that she was failing to save.

Instead of focusing more on the brutal feelings that were eating her from the inside out, battling with the exhaustion from focusing on something that hard, she rose and walked over to Kaz. “I’m going to touch you,” she told him plainly as she reached down and then shucked off his trousers. She would have cut them, but she didn’t want to waist time trying to find a knife so that she could get at his lower leg. She placed both of her hands on him, one over his ankle and the other on his knee.

A massive burst of power was going to be required to help him. She could feel where the bone had split down the middle, which would account for the strange shape. It had cut through some of the muscle and tendons, but it had also splintered and then sliced through the nerves next to his knee. “Kaz, hold still,” she instructed. He gave her a shaky nod and then moved his glassy brown eyes to stare up at the ceiling. She saw his gloved hands move down to the bed beside him, clenching at the stained sheets so that he could deal with the pain.

She scraped lower into the water beside the well as she pulled mud filled bucket after mud filled bucket up to the surface. It wasn’t as good as a Healer, but it was enough that she would be able to stop the wound from worsening at least a little bit.

She pushed down with the handle on his ankle and up with the hand on his knee so that the bone got back into place. She sped up some of the healing so that she didn’t have to set it. He wouldn’t be able to put a single bit of pressure on the appendage until they got it healed the rest of the way, though. She then began to work on searching for the bone, before she felt another person bump her out of the way.

Outside of being hurtful, being shuffled from job to job was also becoming annoying. If she could just focus on one person then she wouldn't have to wrack her mind for something that she hadn’t learned enough of every single time. Her powers were draining her, in addition to having to figure out a new thing every time she moved to another cot.

There was absolutely no arguing with Ivan, though. He barely spoke since he came back from working for the Darkling, many years ago, but he was still just as powerful without any of his words. Nina dropped her hands from Kaz’s leg and then made her way over to the last cot. She saw that Jesper was laying there, his face contorted with pain and his hand over his shoulder.

“What happened?” she asked as she reached for the medical pack on the ground.

“I got shot,” he ground out. “And as much as I would love to flirt with you while you stitch me up, I can’t get this blasted bullet out.”

“I’m a Heartrender, I’m here to help you, not to flirt,” she retorted. She would have thought that Jesper, of all of her partners and mentors, would have been the one to trust her abilities. He had in the past, when they were sneaking into homes to steal Grisha children before they could be murdered or seducing their way into the homes of upper class Kerch Merchants.

She batted his hands away with one of her own and then placed it over his shoulder. She could feel the cold iron sunk low in his heated skin, around the blood. It was a familiar sensation due to the amount of the metal that was already in someone’s blood, but it was such a concentrated version of it that she wasn’t going to be able to draw it out herself. She focused instead on the structures around it, what it had cut. She used the broken tendons and nerves to pass the bullet slowly up and out of his flesh.

It was something that she had only ever heard about, never seen it done before. She knew that it took the utmost focus and deliberate movements, something that she had always struggled with. She could vaguely hear Jesper shouting and screaming as she played with the parts of his body to draw out the bullet, but she wouldn’t let herself fully acknowledge them. If she broke her focus then it would recede back into him and all of the progress that she had just managed would be gone.

She felt a hand on her wrist just as she got the bullet out, and then she was pushed away from him. Her hands were coated in the blood of four people that she loved with the last now struggling so badly that his entire body was shaking to try and keep the poison in place. Nina turned around and looked over the tent, trying to assess where she was most needed.

There was nowhere. Each bed had someone that was more capable than her, more tender than her, caring for her partners. She was useless when she was in there, so she had to leave so that she could find a better place to put herself to use. The battle was still waging outside of the healers tent, which was something that Nina could actually handle. She could feel the glowing exhaustion that came with over using her powers pulling at her but she ignored it. She had other things to do, this wasn’t something that she could be anything but exceptional at.

People were swarming around each other as they tossed down Fjerdans with wind, water, and huge arcs of fire. She could see Heartrenders in the distance bringing others to their knees or healing the people that they could see. Even the Durasts and the Alkemi were using the earth and bombs to take down some of the forces.

Nina charged into battle without a second thought. She could see a group of Druskelle with their fearsome battle horses coming up around the back of the group that was fighting alongside the General, so she brought her hands up and stopped the animal’s heart. She felt bad for having to do so, but there was no other way that she could save the lives of her friends.

“Get the witch!” the commander shouted as he got off of the beast that he had been riding, pointing towards her. Nina placed her hands out in front of her body just as her eyes began to sag. She tried to push back the waves of black that were threatening to overcome her, to cling to the last bit of energy that she had, but there was nothing.

She felt the hands of the Druskelle taking hold of her before everything faded out.