#diagnose me based on this post alone

[kvothes]

i was tagged by @entroponauts to do ten characters / fandoms / tags! so without further ado:

will graham, hannibal

gideon nav, the locked tomb

adam parrish, the raven cycle

silence, le roman de silence

nancy wheeler, stranger things

grantaire, les mis

eddie kaspbrak, IT

henry winter, the secret history

cordelia, king lear

aaaaaaaaaand kvothe, the name of the wind

tagging @glamgil @localcinaedus @nearer-than-the-eye @magnificentmoose @phereinnike @malglories @benafee @fionacreates + anyone who wants!

[fatliberation]

hi, i'm a fat person who is just starting to learn to love and appreciate my body and i'm very new to the fat community and all that.

i was wondering if you could maybe explain the term ob*se and how it is a slur. i've never heard anything about it being a slur before(like i said, i'm very new here) and was wondering if you could tell me the origin and history of the word or mayy provide links to resources about it? i want to know more about fat history and how to support my community but i'm unsure of how to start

Welcome!

Obesity is recognized as a slur by fat communities because it's a stigmatizing term that medicalizes fat bodies, typically in the absence of disease. Aside from the word literally translating to "having eaten oneself fat" in latin, obesity (as a medical diagnosis) straight up doesn't actually exist. The only measure that we have to diagnose people with obesity is the BMI, which has been widely proven to be an ineffective measure of health.

The BMI was created in the 1800s by a statistician named Adolphe Quetelet, who did NOT sudy medicine, to gather statistics of the average height and weight of ONLY white, european, upper-middle class men to assist the government in allocating resources. It was never intended as a measure of individual body fat, build, or health. 

Quetelet is also credited with founding the field of anthropometry, including the racist pseudoscience of phrenology. Quetelet’s l’homme moyen would be used as a measurement of fitness to parent, and as a scientific justification for eugenics.

Studies have observed that about 30% of so-called "normal weight" people are "unhealthy" whereas about 50% of so-called "overweight" people are “healthy”. Thus, using the BMI as an indicator of health results in the misclassification of some 75 million people in the United States alone. "Healthy" lifestyle habits are associated with a significant decrease in mortality regardless of baseline body mass index.  

While epidemiologists use BMI to calculate national "obesity" rates, the distinctions can be arbitrary. In 1998, the National Institutes of Health lowered the overweight threshold from 27.8 to 25—branding roughly 29 million Americans as "overweight" overnight—to match international guidelines. Articles about the "obesity epidemic" often use this pseudo-statistic to create a false fear mongering rate at which the United States is becoming fatter. Critics have also noted that those guidelines were drafted in part by the International Obesity Task Force, whose two principal funders were companies making weight loss drugs. Interesting!!!

So... how can you diagnose a person with a disease (and sell them medications) solely based upon an outdated measure that was never meant to indicate health in the first place? Especially when "obesity” has no proven causative role in the onset of any chronic condition?

There is a reason as to why fatness was declared a disease by the NIH in 1998, and some of it had to do with acknowledging fatness as something that is NOT just about a lack of willpower - but that's a very complicated post for another time. You can learn more about it in the two part series of Maintenance Phase titled The Body Mass Index and The Obesity Epidemic.

Aside from being overtly incorrect as a medical tool, the BMI is used to deny certain medical treatments and gender-affirming care, as well insurance coverage. Employers still often offer bonuses to workers who lower their BMI.��Although science recognizes the BMI as deeply flawed, it's going to be tough to get rid of. It has been a long standing and effective tool for the oppression of fat people and the profit of the weight loss industry.

More sources and extra reading material:

How the Use of BMI Fetishizes White Embodiment and Racializes Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings

The Bizarre and Racist History of the BMI by Aubrey Gordon

The Racist and Problematic History of the Body Mass Index by Adele Jackson-Gibson

What's Wrong With The War on Obesity? by Lily O'Hara, et al.

Fearing The Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings

[syllvarin]

Non-traumagenic plurality: How could it be possible?

First off, let's start with what some anti-endo folk mean versus what they don't mean with traumagenic plurality

They mean systems caused by/as a response to trauma and traumatic events, and those who are still affetced by them, aka systems who are disordered, DID/OSDD/UDD.

What they don't mean is systems who have trauma in their origin along with other causes. They do not believe a system can very well be traumagenic but function smoothlessly due to recovering, or have multiple origins.

Note: We are a diagnosed DID system with mixed (trauma/ramcoa/neuro/para) origins. Yes, we know what we are talking about. No, that doesn't mean we can't do mistakes, but we will try our best to be as accurate as possible. We will include scientific articles, DSM-5 DID checklist, and many more in this post.

How can that be possible?

1st: Brains are quite complicated. Research on brain functions is far from being complete, it is a long road that we are still at the very beginning of. We still don't know how brain exactly works let alone how it can form seperate conscious identities and work them together. We do know headmates exist based on brain MRI's ( link here ) That proves us that systems indeed, exist.

2nd point i want to make is that science is not done in a linear fashion. We are studying to be neuroscientists ourselves and the very core of what makes science doable is MONEY. Yes, in this capitalist system even the most seemingly basic research requires funding, money, and a goal that can be monetized to get done. Reseaches on female autonomy, rare disorders and "demonized" disorders such as DID is therefore not often as it is not easily capitalized and funded.

Therefore we do not have enough research to prove or disprove that the only way of becoming a system is through childhood.

And that brings me to my 3rd point, where we will take a look at what DSM-5 (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition) says about diagnostic crietria of DID. We will see how it is a dissocative disorder, not a trauma disorder.

Found under dissociative disorders (not trauma disorders!), checklist for DID is as follows:

See how none of those checklist include trauma as checklist? Yes DID is commonly caused by trauma but not always. Yes it commonly is created during childhood but not always. Those arent in diagnostic criteria.

Definitive feature is not trauma, it is distinct personality states or experience of possession.

DID is associated with traumatic events, does not mean it requires it.

DID can manifest at almost any age (DSM-5 is saying that, folks)

What's more is OSDD doesnt even have a definitive checklist like DID. it is found under differential diagnosis, with other disorders. PDID (partial DID where one part is frontstuck a majority of the time) is also up to psychiatrist's evaluation rather than a concrete checklist.

4th point is : What about Structural Dissociaton Theory?

This theory is as it goes: The theory of Structural Dissociation works off of the assumption that everyone is born with different ego states that later merge in life. Those different ego states operate for different actions in life, that later integrate into one person during ages of 4-6. Trauma disrupts that integration and causes ANP (apparently normal parts) and EP (Emotional parts). EP's are stuck in the trauma while ANP's are not.

source: The Haunted Self: Structural Dissociation and the Treatment of Chronic Traumatization" by Onno van der Hart, Ellert Nijenhuis, and Kathy Steele. 

Yes, theory. Theories are not concrete. They can be disapproved, they can change, they may not fit every experience. Structural dissociation only explains how DID can manifest at childhood, but we already know by now that DID can manifest at almost any age.

So I personally think basing everything on a theory about how DID might've been caused (which doesn't even perfectly explain every possible way) is not as fault-proof as one might think it is.

Point 5: experiences of "multiple identities" exist for so long into history (people who are possessed, talk to themselves, act weird at times, are very different at times, etc), way before any DID/OSDD terms were created. And actually, how can we know how many people in history have had this experience when the very society we are in is very scared of them? It is fair to say only the disruptive cases must've been noticed, and majority of them probably were either deemed as crazy or exorcised as they believed those people were possessed by spirits. Just because your experience does not fit with others and just because science hasnt done anything to back them up, doesn't mean people's lived experiences are false. Why would so many people tell that they are a system when they are not? We are not living in a place where being a system is happy or fun, we are not in a society where its profitable or anything. It literally gives a person zero + points for being plural if they arent. It would be a nonstop roleplay they have to keep up throughout every aspect of their life; and at that point, it must be either impossible or that person is already plural and not roleplaying when no one is looking at them.

Creating headmates is on the same basket. A person with DID can create headmates in blink of an eye (we know from oursleves) sometimes splitting threshold is so low you may split off multiple people at once. You cannot know what is going in a person's mind, and what mechanisms work for creating a headmate. If they claim they did, it is very much no chance they are faking being different people 24/7. It *is* a real chance that they actually did develop a headmate. If you do not believe them; ask them about their experiences. I am %100 positive that if you actually listen to them, you will see those people are only trying to live their life.

Also, if you think healthy systems cannot exist and only way to be a system is through dissociation and dysfunction; then why would DID systems try to heal anyway? Wouldn't that just be sanist and ableist to expect all of them to turn into singlets because healthy multiplicity isnt a thing?But no, it is a thing, and healthy multiplicity and recovery is possible for systems. DID and other disordered forms of plurality do indeed exist, and they are indeed, treatabe in multiple ways according to what a person feels comfortable with. That is also a system's right to heal however they please. They don't owe anyone their right to stay as plural or become a singlet.

6th point I want to make is about: Why do we even care?

If a person says they have multiple people in their head, why do we care and tell them they are faking? They are not claiming to have a diagnosis, even if they did; if their situation is causing a distress to them, then they ARE diagnosable and that therefore is none of our business, again.

Last point I want to make is how endogenic DID is possible. yes, possible. remember how trauma is not in diagnostic criteria and DID can happen at any age? If endogenic plurals can happen, they can also form DID at later in life. They can also become disordered due to an event in their life. They can lose harmony and become so dysfunctional they need professional help. That doesn't mean they are no longer endogenic or some other origin, that simply means their state is different than what it was and they need help.

End of our post. Thank you for reading.

[witchyy-kittyy]

If you are a system on this app, you need to block this person.

I actually cannot believe I’m making this post but here we go.

This is the person’s description. Please note, I am not fake claiming them on being a RAMCOA/HC-DID system or their alter count. I am also not fake claiming them based on the fact they claim to have a DSMP script, even though the timing feels a little weird to me.

‘But you are fake claiming them-‘ Yes I am. And for two main reasons. Number one, claiming to have diagnosed ASPD.

ASPD cannot and is not diagnosed as a minor. You must be at least 18 to be diagnosed with ASPD, and if you are any younger it would be considered a conduct disorder. Any professional would know this.

Furthermore, this person claims to live in Mexico (which I will get to in a moment). Mexico uses the ICD for diagnostic criteria, and in the ICD-11, ASPD isn’t even a diagnosis.

But let’s assume this person got diagnosed in the US or is not living in Mexico and got diagnosed with ASPD at 15 years old. The main reason I am calling bullshit is this:

This person claims to be in witness protection. First off, you cannot have any social media if you are in witness protection. Like none at all, which includes tumblr. It doesn’t matter if you don’t use your real name/age/identity, it’s still a huge safety risk even having it, let alone telling people you’re in witness protection and what country you were relocated to.

This person also claims that one of their programmers contacted them. While they were in witness protection. I’m not even going to comment on that, but I will let you guys just connect the dots on this.

I don’t have anything more to say about this. Hate will be blocked. System’s used is snowchester-system. Don’t send hate or harass them. And snowchester, if you’re reading this and all of this is in fact true, delete your tumblr and get off the internet for good. For your own safety.

[mamsieur]

Don't mess with the Storm | Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Summary : Sometimes, Cyclone could live up to his call sign. Especially when it concerned you, his youngest daughter, his little Storm.

TW : slight violence, mention of alcohol, family/domestic fluff

Length : 6753 words

AN : You can't make me believe that Beau Simpson isn't a family man with lots of kids. That's what he radiates.

posted on AO3 August 21, 2023

Your mom always said you took after your dad, but if he was a Cyclone, you were a Storm ; smaller and less destructive. Storm has always been your nickname. 

It described you quite well as much in your way of doing things than in your personality. You were passionate about everything you did and you often left a mess after you.

Being a Vice Admiral, Beau managed to control himself for his work but when it came to you and your well being, he could literally destroy everything on his way. Not that your father was in any way abusive or violent, but he sometimes could over react.

You were your parents’ precious little baby.

You were the youngest of four children; you had three older brothers, all in the military. Two of them, Nathan and Jamie, were naval aviators, like your father, and one, Aaron, was a Marine Officer. 

Needless to say, you were well taken care of ; you liked to think that you had a small ‘army’ for yourself.

But as much as they thought of you as their little princess, they never treated you like one, and you never wanted to be. You were tough and very capable of defending yourself. Your father always encouraged you in whatever you wanted to do. 

You wanted to join the soccer team? Let's go. Switch to boxing lessons? Done. A new passion for karting? He had your back. An interest in mechanics ? He bought you your first tool box.

As long as you put your heart and soul into whatever you did, your family would support you.

So when you told them you wanted to work for the Navy after your engineering degree, they were as supportive as they could be.

You were a genius engineer - your mom’s word, not yours - and you loved working on jets, inspecting them, gathering as much data as possible to make them as efficient as they can be. Working at Top Gun was heaven. Since the pilots were supposed to be the best, you loved pushing them and their machines to be better and better.

Of course, the fact that you were working on the same base as your father had raised some eyebrows. But neither of you cared, and he got you no special treatment.

After the uranium mission, you were assigned to check the status of the Dagger Squad's F-18s. Everything seemed to be in good shape, and while your computer analyzed the flight data, you inspected the engines. You liked to work alone when you could, it helped you stay in your bubble of concentration.

The sun was slowly setting as you finished diagnosing the last jet. Being alone in the hangar, you took the opportunity to put on some music. You hummed and swayed a little while you waited for the analysis to finish on your screen and inspected the engine.

Your head was - quite literally - in it when you heard footsteps behind you. They stopped a few feet away from you to let you finish what you were doing.

"I'll just be two minutes," you muttered and then shrugged, getting no response. You finished inspecting the seemingly defective part and stood up. Your face was covered in dust and motor oil, and your hair was starting to fall out of your ponytail.

You sighed and turned to your mysterious guest.

"Oh! Good evening Lieutenant Bradshaw. May I help you?" you smiled a little and wiped your forehead with the back of your hand.

"Good evening Second Lieutenant Simpson, to tell you the truth, yes, you may..." he grinned charmingly, crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the plane, "I was wondering if you'd forgotten our date? It's 7:20, and we agreed to meet at 6:30 ?” 

You stopped smiling and looked at the clock. Crap! You hadn't seen the time.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I was servicing the jets and didn't realize what time it was! I should have set an alarm, I'm sorry. Jesus, how could I be so stupid?"

You were starting to mumble excuses as you gathered your things when you felt his hand on your wrist.

"It's okay, I know how you get when you're focused on something. We’ll find another day for that. I'll wait for you at the bar, okay?" he reassured you with a grin.

"Uh yeah, yeah okay! I'll be quick!" you nodded and smiled back at him. He tucked a strand of your wild hair behind your ear, a few inches from you, making you blush slightly. His thumb stroked your cheek. He had that cheeky smile he always had when something was on his mind. He took your hand and kissed your knuckles, his beautiful brown eyes never leaving yours.

" Or , I can also wait for you in the changing-"

" Lieutenant Bradshaw, Second Lieutenant Simpson, what are you two still doing here? "

Your father's stern voice echoed through the hangar, taking you by surprise. Bradley took a quick step back and straightened his posture to greet him.

"I, uh-"

"Lieutenant Bradshaw forgot his keys, sir, he was out. I got carried away with the diagnostics, I'm almost finished here," you replied quickly as Cyclone’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Bradley then at you.

"Hm. You better hurry then, Second Lieutenant, overtime is not allowed. You're free to go Lieutenant Bradshaw."

"Yes sir!" you said in unison and Bradley left as quickly as he could, flashing one last smile in your direction before disappearing down the corridors.

As you started to clean up the mess you'd made, you heard an amused sigh.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. You're still living up to your nickname."

"Ha ha, very funny Dad," you rolled your eyes and closed your toolbox, "Don't wait for me, I'm going out tonight."

"Mmh. Is Bradshaw involved?" he asked as he helped you carry your stuff to the storage room.

"Yes? I mean the whole Dagger team is, I need to get to know them to understand how they work."

That was only half a lie. You knew they most likely were all at the Hard Deck, you'd met them there a few times. You got along well with them, especially Natasha, Bob and Mickey. And of course, Bradley... But it was different with him.

You'd known him for years and your very first assignment had been with him. Your friendship had evolved over the years into a kind of friends-with-benefits/fuck-buddies relationship until a few weeks ago. Since the uranium mission, he wanted more than that, and so did you. You two tried to keep your relationship secret because you suspected it could jeopardize either of your careers, and mostly because you knew your father would not approve.

He always thought the guys you dated were not good enough for you. And as annoying as it was, he was always right. He scared away some of them and when you thought back about it, it's a good thing he did.

Truth be told, you have been in love with Bradley for so long that sometimes it hurted. 

You had tried to tell him so many times in the past, but you were afraid of losing what little intimacy you had with him. So when he asked you out, first thing after the uranium mission, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. The hope that your feelings would be reciprocated had invaded your heart and mind, and you felt like it was the first time you were in love. It wasn’t of course, but you were all giddy about it.

You didn’t like to lie to your dad, he knew you too much to know everything in just one look. 

But it was worth it, wasn’t it ?

You hoped it was.

After a well-deserved shower, you changed into clean, comfortable clothes that actually suited you. You put on your helmet and rode to the bar with your motorbike. Your mother hated when you used that ‘death machine’ and your father wasn't really fond of it either. It reminded him of Maverick. He wasn’t fond of Maverick. It always made you laugh watching your dad trying to remain calm in front of the Captain. You’ve never seen a man getting on his nerves that much.

The Hard Deck was already busy when you parked ; a totally normal Friday night , you thought. Looking around, you spotted Natasha’s, Javy’s and Bradley’s cars.

Penny nodded at you with a smile as you entered. The Daggers were in their usual places and Bradley seemed to be winning the pool game against Jake. In a desperate attempt to break his concentration, Jake chuckled, "Your girlfriend's here, Bradshaw”.

The whole team had discovered your relationship, of course, but swore to keep it a secret. You were grateful to them, but Jake being himself, he couldn't resist taking a dig at you. 

You rolled your eyes and took a seat next to Bob, watching the two eternal rivals finish their game. You caught up with Mickey and theorized with him on the last episodes of Kenobi then made your way towards Penny at the bar to buy your round of beers. As you waited for your drinks at the counter, you felt two hands around your waist.

"You're late, Second Lieutenant ."

"Had to fix your teammates’ jets, Lieutenant , tell them to be more careful," you grinned, leaning your back against your boyfriend's torso. You heard him chuckle softly as he whispered that you were an ‘idiot' and kissed the top of your head.

"Sorry about our date, I'll make it up to you."

"You bet your sweet ass you will," Bradley snickered at the squeal you let out as he spanked you a little, “But right now, you owe me a dance to celebrate my victory against Hangman.”

He took your hand as you rolled your eyes but followed him. Your whole body pressed against his, arms around his neck, the room faded away. All you could feel and see was him; one of his hands on the small of your back, the other on your hip, guiding you. The warmth of his body was like a spell that kept you close, not wanting to let go.His hands roamed down your back making you shiver. It felt like you belonged there.

You couldn’t let go of his eyes, hypnotized. He had such beautiful eyes ; those hazel brown orbs were magnetic, so infuriatingly charming. 

One of your hands gently stroked his scarred cheek and he leaned into your touch, smiling like an idiot and humming the song you were slow dancing to. His smile always sent butterflies to your stomach and heat to your cheeks. It was almost annoying how easily you fell for his charms.

The two of you danced until the song ended and you pulled him by the collar to kiss him. You felt his hands slip into the back pockets of your jeans, shamelessly squeezing your ass, and his proud grin against your lips. You bit his as you pulled away from the kiss.

"Okay, lovebirds , get a room," Jake complained and you flipped him off, still in Bradley's arms.

"Don't be jealous Jakey, your time will come," you teased, making your partner chuckle.

"She's right Seresin, just wait till you're a big boy."

The evening continued quietly, with one beer after another, a few games of darts and pool, and a few songs on the piano for Bradley. 

You watched him from the bar, mesmerized, an affectionate smile on your face. You still wondered how you'd managed to get his attention; this man could have anyone he wanted with his smile combined with a little song, the sweetness with which he spoke, his sarcasms, his eyes so soft and intense at the same time, his stupid, stupid, cocky grin... God, you were definitely and undoubtedly under his spell, mind and heart.

Your eyes never left his form for more than five seconds. You looked at him as if you wanted to learn every aspect of his physique; but to be honest, you already knew him by heart. 

You could locate every beauty mark, every scar - and tell its story - and where his birthmark was. You could describe every shade of brown in his eyes, depending on the light or his emotions. You knew every expression on his face; when he was angry, frustrated, sad, or playful. You knew exactly where and how to touch him to make him putty in your hands, every positively sensitive area and those to avoid.

And yet, every time you looked at him, behind the piano, laughing with his friends, you discovered a new detail that made you love him even more.

The way he cared for all of them - even Jake, his "archenemy" - and knew just what to do to make them feel better and laugh. How he always listened to what they had to share, good or bad, and offered to help. How he'd always protect them as if they were his siblings, his rather hazardous family.

Speaking of hazardous family, it always made you laugh how Bradley could be so like Pete and like your dad. It was sometimes a mixture of arrogance and calm, defiance and seriousness. Part of you was sure that if they tried, your dad and Bradley would get along. But were they willing to ?

As you were lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice a man, a little younger than you, sitting next to your stool. He started talking, trying to flirt, but you didn’t really pay attention, still absorbed by your boyfriend’s silliness, until he clicked his fingers in front of your face.

“Hey, ‘m talking to you doll. You should really pay attention when someone is talking to you, got it ?”

You sipped your beer and looked at him out of the corner of your eye. He continued his flirtatious attempts, bragging that he was one of the best in his class at Top Gun. He kept trying to get your attention by snapping his fingers or grabbing your arm. His breath was clearly too close to your face and stinked a mixture of beer and chips. 

It really started to annoy you, so it was your turn to snap your fingers in his face.

"I'm not interested,” you snapped your fingers again, “If a girl ignores you, it's because she doesn't want to talk to you, got it ?"

You got off your stool, ready to join the Daggers by the piano. But a hand gripped your wrist and the man pulled you close to him. You could see a hint of anger and annoyance in his eyes, but it didn’t scare you. You were used to guys like him, thinking they own every woman they see. 

“Listen doll, I was nice until now. Give me your number and I’ll forgive you,” he grinned, his buddies sneering behind him, as if they were proud of him. You couldn’t help but giggle at the scene. What kind of bad joke was that ?

In one swift motion, you released your wrist and pinned his arm behind his back. You bent him violently over the bar and locked him in that position, pressing down just enough to hurt and immobilize him. 

"One false move and I will dislocate your arm," you threatened in his ear as a few glances turned in your direction. "Now listen to me carefully. This is the last time you'll talk to me or any woman like that. Understood?"

He grunted and struggled a little. You pressed harder and repeated, "Understood?"

"Okay! Okay, I understand! Get off me!"

The man growled again and you finally let go. Penny gave you a look that you understood as a warning and you smiled innocently to her. The man and his group walked away with a grunt, giving you one last murderous look. You smiled broadly and made a mocking curtsy. 

Bradley raised an eyebrow as they passed him, muttering that you were a "crazy bitch". You joined him with two beers, one for him and one for you.

"What happened?"

"Nothing to worry about, just some big macho guy. He didn't like that I wasn't paying attention to him. I just put him in his place."

You shrugged with a smile and Bradley shook his head, laughing a little, knowing exactly what you meant. He put his arm around your waist and kissed your temple. 

"I know you can defend yourself, but don't get yourself in trouble, Stormy."

"Don't worry, if I get in trouble, my knight in shining armor will come and rescue me, won't he?" you teased. He chuckled but nodded before taking you on his lap at the piano. He started a new song that had the remaining customers singing and dancing.

***

The end of the evening was a bit hazy.

You'd had too much to drink to get back on your bike, so it was Bradley who drove you home. You pulled your boyfriend into your small house - he offered no resistance - and kissed him as if your life depended on it, as if that simple contact made your heart beat. His hands roamed your body with hunger, and yours tore his Hawaiian shirt from his back. You thought of nothing but Bradley, his soft lips devouring your jaw and neck, leaving a few marks where he passed, his hands so warm on your skin, his breath making you shiver. 

You wandered back to your room, kicking off your shoes, and your clothes ended up in a pile at the end of your bed. 

You loved doing it with Bradley. He gave you everything you wanted and so much more. You'd never been as fulfilled as you were with him. It was as if he knew everything about how your body worked, that it held no secrets for him. 

Your nightly activities have drained you both of what little energy you had left, and you fell asleep hugging each other, as if afraid the other will evaporate.

The next morning, it was not your massive headache that woke you, but the sound of several cars and children laughing outside your house. What day was it? Was it Saturday? It was Saturday!

You jumped to your feet as Bradley mumbled something unintelligible.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" You shook your boyfriend and wrapped yourself in a blanket as you heard the sound of a key turning in the front door lock.

"Bradley, get up!"

"Mmh, five minutes..." he mumbled, burying his face in the pillow. You heard the door open and small footsteps running toward your room. You panicked and shook him harder.

"We don't have five minutes! Get your ass up!" 

You grabbed the first thing you could get your hands on: panties and Bradley's tank top. You stumbled to your bedroom door to get out before one of your nephews’ innocent eyes discovered their aunt and a man they didn't know naked as worms in her bed. You tried to look as natural as possible as you quickly closed the door behind you. Standing in front of you was Jack, your three-year-old nephew. He was Nathan’s, your oldest brother, son. He laughed as he threw himself on your legs to give you a hug.

"Oh my God, hi sweetie! You're early!"

"Dada said we'd surprise you, Auntie! And Pop-Pop is here too!" the little boy laughed.

"What a nice thought!" you tried not to sound too ironic as you picked him up to give him a kiss and rearrange his wild blond hair. "Auntie needs to get dressed, okay? Go wait with your dad in the living room!"

You gave him one last kiss and made sure he ran to the living room before storming back to your bedroom. How could you forget that your brothers were visiting today? You were so screwed! A million thoughts went through your head and one thing made you snap out of it; Bradley yawning and taking his sweet time getting up. You grumbled and attacked him with a pillow.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"We're in deep shit Bradley! My whole family is here! They weren't supposed to be up this early!"

"What?" he blinked and narrowed his eyes, trying to process what you'd just told him. You started to rattle on about how your brothers got their permission for your mom's birthday, but your brothers were here super early with their wifes, their kids, and your mom and dad. Bradley had trouble following what you were saying because you were talking really fast. 

“Babe,” he tried to interrupt you, but you kept mumbling and pacing next to the bed, “Y/N, baby, calm down!” 

He grabbed your wrist, pulling you to sit in front of him. His free hand cupped your cheek tenderly as he guided you into breathing to calm yourself down.

“Okay�� mind explaining slower what is happening here ?”

You sighed and nodded before re-explaining the whole situation to him. “But they weren’t supposed to come here this early ! The surprise lunch for my mom was supposed to be at home, not in my flat ! And my dad is here. My dad ! What are we going to say ?”

You cursed again, rubbing your temples. Bradley took your hands in his to make you look at him and stole a kiss from you. You sighed against his lips, your tension going away slightly. He then pressed his forehead to yours, stroking your cheeks to soothe you.

“How about we get dressed and just… join them in the living room ?”

“You really want to face my dad ?” you raised one eyebrow, surprised but really relieved that he didn’t propose to just sneak out.

“Yeah ? I mean, the man already has doubts, you’ve said it yourself… and it’s your mother’s birthday, your whole army of men won’t be able to kill me. Not today at least.”

You chuckled at his joking tone and at the silly smile he has on his face. You pecked his lips with a grin. “Okay then Lieutenant , let’s get dressed.”

“Yes ma’am!” 

He gave you one last tender kiss, and when the two of you went to get up, a little giggle made you both freeze.

“Auntie who that ? And why he nakey ?”

Your nephew’s voice asked. He was standing by the door, a playful smile on his chubby face, and his little finger pointing at your embarrassed boyfriend. Bradley quickly covered himself more, lifting the sheet at his chin, and you ran to get little Jack in your arms.

“How did he get here ??” Bradley scream-whispered at you, hiding himself while trying to get dressed.

“I don’t know !” you scream-whispered back before turning your attention back to the toddler who was babbling in your arms, “Jack, honey, why aren’t you with your dad and pop-pop ?”

Before he could answer, your sister in law was by your bedroom, apologizing. She didn’t notice Bradley right away, but when she did, a small cheeky smile curled on her lip.

“Hi there, sorry to have him interrupted you two.”

“Annie, it’s not what it looks like-” you blushed when you understood what she implied but Bradley interrupted you by presenting himself and shaking her hand with a wide smile. They chat while you put on a pair of jeans, keeping on Bradley’s tank top. Never in your life had you been this embarrassed.

Little Jack looked at your boyfriend with wide-eyed wonder. He loved meeting new people, and Bradley seemed fascinating to his young eyes. It was no wonder when every time Annie spoke to you, Bradley would make faces at the little boy and make him giggle. 

Bradley already had him in his pocket, so that was a good thing. Annie seemed to like him too, at least you thought so from the mischievous looks she gave you. 

As you crossed the hallway to join the rest of your family, a wave of nervousness ran through you. You grabbed Bradley by the sleeve of his Hawaiian shirt and turned him toward you. You pulled him into a hug to relax and to give yourself courage.

"Promise you won't hate me?"

"Why would I hate you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"They'll probably try to impress you, my brothers I mean... and my dad... you know how he can be..."

"Oh honey... It takes more than that to scare me. I'll be fine."

He kissed your forehead and you walked into the living room.

You greeted everyone, your father not immediately aware of Bradley's presence. You introduced him to your brothers first, Nathan, Aaron and Jamie, and they didn't do anything strange at first; they were probably waiting for you to introduce him to your father to see what sauce to cook him in.

Beau and Vivian, your mother, were too busy admiring your niece, five-month-old Juliet, to notice Bradley's presence. She was fast asleep in the arms of Jamie's fiancée, Alice. She greeted you with a smile when you waved.

"Awake at last, Stormy?" your father asked before freezing and losing his smile at the sight of your boyfriend, " Lieutenant Bradshaw. ".

His cold, hard tone made you sigh a little as the two men shook hands in greeting. 

“Good morning Vice Admiral Simpson.” 

They were way too formal, it was ridiculous. Your mother had the same reaction as you and introduced herself to Bradley with a warm smile and a hug.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Simpson."

"Oh, please, just call me Viv!" she laughed a little, waving her hand. Then she turned to you, discreetly gave you both thumbs up and winked at you. 

Good. Bradley seemed to have charmed your mother with just a smile.

Still, you could feel your father tense up behind you as Bradley got to know everyone. He remained very polite and smiled, even letting Jack, Oliver and Tommy - Aaron's twin sons - pull him out to play in the little garden. Your father grabbed your arm. "Kitchen. Now. We need to talk." He seemed a little upset, and you could understand; you'd lied to him.

"Care to explain yourself?" He crossed his arms on his chest, a stern look on his face. 

You didn't like that look. He used to have it when he scolded you when you were a teenager, when you would sneak out of the house to go to a party or to meet up with your then-boyfriend. For a moment, you were 16 again, caught in the act.

You sighed at his insistent and questioning look.

"I uh... He’s... we’re... we've been seeing each other for… a few weeks..."

"A few weeks? So you've been lying to me for weeks?"

"I haven't lied! At least not completely..." you mumbled, biting your fingernail.

"Y/N. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Seriously Dad? You've made it pretty clear that you don't really like him, I mean outside of work."

"I never said that."

You widened your eyes, shocked at his bad faith. 

"Are you kidding me? You've made it clear that you don't want me around him because he's too much like Maverick! Every time I mentioned him, you made your… disapproving face. The same one you made every time I mentioned my old boyfriends, or when I wanted to get a motorcycle, or when the boys tried to bleach their hair in high school !"

"I don't have a disapproving face," he grumbled, "and it's not because he’s like Maverick that I don't want you around him, it's because he can be called back on a mission at any time. I don't want that to break your heart."

"Oh ! But it's okay for Nathan, Aaron, and Jamie to break the hearts of their partners? Of their children? It was okay for you to risk breaking Mom's heart and ours? What kind of cardboard argument is that, Dad?" You raised your arms in disbelief as you started to walk out of the kitchen, but you stopped and turned back to face him. "I know you want to protect me, but... you can't do that about things like that. I know you know better than anyone the risks of this job, the sacrifices it requires. But Bradley knows them as well, if not better, than you do. And as much as it scares me, as much as it scares us... we want to try… And even if you don't like it, we'll give it a try. Because I almost lost him once without really being able to be with him..."

Your father sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. From the kitchen window you could see Bradley playing with your nephews, under your mother's and in laws’ amused and tender eyes. A small smile crept across your lips as the little ones called you over to help hold Bradley down. You hurried to join them, and your mother joined your father.

"Our boys and the little ones seem to like this Lieutenant…”

“Seems like it…”  

“He reminds me a little of you when we first met..." Vivian chuckled to Beau as she hugged him. 

"Really?" the man wondered, "and how?"

"Well, he has that same sparkle in his eyes... the one that calls for adventure, that gentle and loving look when his eyes land on our Storm... and he's also very good with children," she laughed at his slightly embarrassed expression, "You should give him a chance... our princess looks so relaxed with him... look at her… look at her smile…"

He lifted his head and watched the two of you having fun with the three little boys and sighed. His wife was right. You looked so happy in Bradley's arms, waltzing and laughing with the kids. He'd never seen you look so radiant, as cliché as it sounded. Your brothers also seemed to have accepted the newcomer without too much fuss. So Beau seemed to be the only one who was uncomfortable with the whole situation.

He nodded and kissed his wife on the forehead. "Okay, I'll try... but I'm not promising anything."

Vivian rolled her eyes with a smile on her face. She knew for a fact that your father would quickly accept Bradley as well.

Lunch went off without a hitch, Beau swallowing his pride not to be as awkward with Bradley as possible, although he did draw a few murderous looks from your father when he put his hand a little too high on your thigh or lower back. After dessert, he helped your brothers put the kids down for a nap and let them share the convertible bed in your little study. Your sisters-in-law and your brother-in-law, Evan - Aaron's husband - helped you with the dishes. They gently teased you that Bradley was a very handsome young man and that you had chosen well. 

"I know I did. Look at you all, we Simpsons always have good taste," you sniped back with a wink and a teasing smile, making them laugh.

"Wait, wait, wait... So he was your regular booty call after your first assignment?" Evan seemed to realize. You shushed him and made sure that your parents didn't hear him say that. Annie laughed a little and grabbed your shoulder, making you look into her eyes. 

"I can see why you qualified him as the best sex of your life after the upper body I saw this morning," she teased you again, making your face completely flush. You practically begged her to stop talking about your sex life, very embarrassed. But the three of them could be little bullies and they loved to tease you sometimes.

"Guys, please stop. If my father hears you-"

"Hear what, Stormy?"

You turned and paled a little under your father's cold gaze and tight smile. Your sister-in-law and brother-in-law took the opportunity to run off like teenagers, and of course Bradley arrived just then, smiling carelessly. 

"The three cataclysms are finally asleep. Is everything okay in here?" he asked as he joined you in front of your father. He immediately wiped the smile off his face when he saw the look on Beau's face.

"You're lucky it's my wife's birthday, Bradshaw," he growled, his eyes staring straight into your souls, "but if I hear one more detail about your... nocturnal activities, I'm going to make sure that the two of you are as far away from each other as possible, even if it means sending one of you to Japan or Korea. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," Bradley replied promptly, "Clear as day.”

"For God's sake, Dad, aren't you being a little extreme? I'm a responsible adult-"

"I'm warning you, I don't want another grandchild too soon. Keep it in your pants."

"Dad!!"

Just when you thought you couldn't get any more embarrassed, your dad had the right words. He left the two of you in the kitchen, muttering that he was getting too old for this. 

"Oh my God..." You cursed as you hid your face in your hands and turned towards the sink. Of all the weird things that could happen, you'd really hoped no one would mention your sex life. You felt a little angry, but more than that, you were extremely embarrassed. You let out a shaky breath, your hands gripping the counter as you lowered your head. You felt the warmth of Bradley's body enveloping you as he wrapped his arms around your waist, his front against your back and his chin resting on your shoulder.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Why are you apologizing, babe? I told you it would take more than that to scare me off... Maybe your dad hasn't fallen for the Bradshaw charm yet, but I'm working on it..." he tried to cheer you up, "And now I have an army of kids who love me, I can order them to defend me."

You smiled, amused at his silliness. "You're really good with kids, but I think it's them who will command you..."

"Maybe you're right," he laughed a little and kissed the hollow of your neck, his mustache tickling you, "but your mother has already adopted me. I'm protected."

You laughed with him, your embarrassment and anger disappearing. You leaned against him, enjoying the hug he offered you. These simple gestures were so comforting that it was almost frightening how quickly he could soothe you. You closed your eyes as he hummed and softly danced with you in the kitchen. It was so cliché, right out of a rom-com, but you couldn’t care less.

After a few minutes, you regained enough courage to join the rest of your family in the living room. Your in-laws gave you apologetic looks, and your brothers were a little lost, but didn't dare ask. 

For the rest of the afternoon, Bradley learned every little anecdote your mother had to share; whether it was about your brothers, you, or even your father, she was more than happy to share with him. Jamie and Alice had fallen asleep in the garden, making your mother smile in awe. Nathan laughed a little with Aaron. "We warned them that a newborn was exhausting, but they insisted on coming here their own way...". 

You laughed a little too, it was true they looked exhausted. But little Juliet was so cute that they forgot how tired they were. 

Speaking of her, the baby phone warned everyone that she was waking up. You volunteered to warm her bottle and Bradley went to get her. Alice had put the travel crib in your room so the other three children would not be disturbed if Juliet woke up. 

When the milk was at the right temperature, you joined Bradley in your room. Your cheeks flushed and you felt butterflies in your stomach when you saw him holding the little one. He rocked her gently, stroking her cheek with his index finger. He seemed so natural that it made you fall even more in love with him. 

You shook your head, your father's voice echoing in your head: "No more grandchildren for now.”

You joined him and let him gently place the baby in your arms. You smiled and fed the hungry five-month-old in your arms. Bradley leaned against the doorframe and watched you with a soft smile. You, too, were a natural with children. Juliet seemed so comfortable in your arms and you seemed so relaxed. He found himself daydreaming about the two of you having children together. He blushed as he imagined you pregnant with his baby... and Nathan giggled behind him. "Calm your horses Bradshaw, you're not putting a baby in my sister anytime soon."

Bradley's face turned as bright red as yours. "Nathan, shut up!" you yelled-whispered at him, careful not to disturb the eating baby in your arms.

“What? You heard our old man, "No more grandchildren for now!”” Nathan grinned and put his arm around Bradley's shoulders.

"I can't promise that..." Bradley mumbled softly, mesmerized by the sight of you holding Juliet against you as you burped her after she had finished her bottle. Nathan's eyes widened and he tried his best not to burst out laughing. "What did you say, Brad’ ? I think I misheard you?"

You blushed as you realized what your boyfriend had just said.

"I... Nothing!" Bradley defended himself weakly, very embarrassed. Nathan teased him until your mother told him to stop, threatening him with no cake after dinner. He immediately stopped and went to get his son after whispering to Bradley that he wouldn't forget what he had just said. You decided not to talk about it, feeling a little embarrassed as well.

It wasn't long before dinnertime arrived, and your father was relaxed and talking with Bradley. You even caught them laughing together. This interaction was reassuring for the rest of the evening.

As usual, your mother had cooked for a regiment, and your refrigerator was full of leftovers. She made Bradley promise to stop by the family home and look at the family albums and your childhood bedroom. He laughed a little but agreed. 

You walked everyone back to their cars, helped them with the kids' stuff, and your dad gave you one last hug and said good night. He said goodbye to Bradley with a slight smile and a quick hug. 

When everyone was gone, you collapsed on your sofa, drained of all energy. Bradley joined you with a smile and pulled you right into his arms.

"That didn't go so badly after all..."

You nodded, yawned and put your arms around him. You thought back to the day that had just passed, to that roller coaster of emotions, and laughed a little.

"So... eager to put a baby inside me Lieutenant?"

"Oh my God Y/N!!" Bradley blushed, hiding his face behind his fists in total embarrassment. You laughed and teased him about it. You preferred to take it as a joke because neither of you were anywhere near ready to have children of your own, you both agreed on that. Or did you?

He turned to you, a serious expression on his face.

"And what if I am? Would you... would you be on board to have kids with me? Not right now, of course, but... I... I can't imagine a future without you in it, and I'd like to have kids with you. I know we haven't really been together that long, but we've known each other for a long time... and oh my God, I'm rumbling," he groaned, rubbing his face before looking back at you. "What I mean is that I love you and I don't want to live without you. Maybe it's rushed, maybe you-"

You interrupted him, pulled him by the collar and kissed him. You didn’t know what came over you; maybe it was the fact that he had just admitted his feelings, or the fact that he was already planning a life with you. Maybe both. Certainly both.

"I love you too," you whispered between two kisses, "and I don't want to be without you either... and I would love to start a family with you someday, Lieutenant Bradshaw..."

You smiled, your forehead pressed against his, and he chuckled in relief.

"Today was really like you... a storm..." he sighed, smiling and stroking your cheeks.

"I know... are you sure you can keep up with my family?" you teased, "Now that you've messed with the storm, the cyclone will never be far away."

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Stormy."

[tunastime]

UM UM UM “staying up until midnight to talk” with SEN or DBHC ethubs or docsuma

Or “pull me closer,” with dbhc docsuma :floshed:

Okay skitters away

staying up until midnight to talk (919 words) (x) (:3c)

Etho’s hands follow a practiced rhythm. He isn’t sure how they wouldn’t, with every wire and mechanism and gear in his body perfectly calibrated to move with precision and within expectation. He certainly fails, and jerks, and stutters, and falls, but base programming, movements that fell perfectly into subroutines he couldn’t even begin to trace, even if Xisuma showed him the exact steps? Of course they were perfect. And of course he never faltered.

The sand beneath him offers a much needed cushioning from the hard, winter dirt, despite the fact that the sun provides little warmth to the air around them in the snow fort. The sky is so blue it makes his eyes strain to look at—and maybe it would hurt, if he knew how it was supposed to feel.

Instead, Etho watches patches of sky blue in the silver-warped reflection of his sword, faint flickers of enchantment pulsing out from the hilt where the hastily carved runes sit. He runs the sharpening stone against the blade’s flat edge, careful not to nick the silicon of his fingers as he scrapes it across, again, and again. Practiced, careful, calculated rhythm. So much so that he doesn’t even register the sounds of shuffling a few paces away until Bdubs’ voice cuts through the silence.

“Etho,” he says, voice all rough around the edges like he were hungry for something more than just company. Etho keeps sharpening, just for a moment, before he chances a glance over.

Bdubs leans at the wooden fence, leaning his weight into the flimsily-set posts. He grins like nothing in the world could bother him. The characteristic dark brown of his eyes flickers with red, with that same hunger. Etho hates it. Which is odd. Because he really doesn’t feel strongly about much of anything, and disgust is an emotion very foreign to him, and he’s beginning to think the slight grinding in his chest is a problem Xisuma might need to diagnose when he gets back. It feels wrong. Because he knows he likes Bdubs just fine. He trusts him just enough. But that look.

Bdubs is still watching him, eyeing the sword in his hand with a gaze he can’t place, let alone read. Better give him an answer.

“Bdubs,” he says calmly, tilting his head to the side.

“You thought anymore about my offer?”

Etho makes a sound like a hum, mimicking the sound of turning the idea over in his head. He stands, setting his whetstone next to the cold embers of last night’s fire. The pot and cups still rest in the dirt, as cold as the rest of their surroundings. The sword stays in his hand.

(In the back of his mind, a memory surfaces. In it, Etho lies in the night-damp grass in clothes that still smell a bit like gunpowder, but not enough to notice unless you got real close. Bdubs is somewhere to his immediate left, still speaking, haloed in the glow of lanterns and lights of a shop. One of them at least. Within the clarity of memory, Etho can pinpoint that it’s Tango’s shop. Bdubs doesn’t live far from here. He isn’t sure when waiting for Tango to restock candles turned into tell Etho all about the extra additions to your base and your journey to find all the perfect horses for the Horse Course that you both just wrapped up, or into tell Bdubs all about how empty the mountain is, and how interesting this new game sounds, and how you hope you both find somewhere cool to base. Because you’ve already told him that you’re teaming up. But it does, and in this same space, the sky is full of bright white stars and a sliver of a moon that's starting to peek into the sky. Bdubs yawns.)

“The one from last night?” Etho asks, coming to with the sword heavy in his hand. He pushes the point into the soft sand until it hits hard earth and starts to give.

“You don’t gotta keep this fence, Etho…” Bdubs sighs, leaning his head into his palm. Etho folds his arms across his chest, splays one hand as he shrugs.

“Seems like the best way to settle this, ‘Dubs.”

“You could join me. Could always still join me,” Bdubs tries. “Just a quick one-two stab! Easy!”

“I can’t do that,” Etho says, shaking his head. “You know that.”

Bdubs sighs again, dramatic, deflating over the fence as Etho’s rejection stands firm. The thirium in his chest feels like it’s been flash frozen and has only started to dethaw, cold in his hands and feet, up his shins and to his elbows. He rolls his shoulders in, cupping each hand around each opposite elbow. There’s a little warmth to be found in the action with no fans kicking on to compensate.

“Well,” Bdubs says, drumming on the wooden beam between the two fence posts. “If you ever change your mind.”

He watches Etho for a moment, that familiar look coming to his eyes, as if it were trying to eclipse the haze of red Bdubs looks at him through, as if it were trying to expand his tunnel vision by just a fraction of an inch. Just as Etho notices, it’s snuffed, and the easy, careful look is replaced by an indifference Etho doesn’t think he enjoys. He still isn’t sure how much he knows for certain. He shrugs, barely a movement at all. Better say something.

“I won’t,” he says.

Bdubs huffs and turns away.

[writerslittlelibrary]

I'll always be your safe space, drabble

masterlist

summary: when you come home overwhelmed from a long day of school, all you want is to feel safe and unwind. Lucky for you, your mom and dad are home to comfort you with whatever you need

pairing: Natasha x autistic daughter reader, Bucky x autistic daughter reader

warnings: none I think?  

genre: fluff

words: 858

a/n: hello lovelies, this fic is based on how I experience my autism. please keep in my mind that while maybe your autism might not act this way, that doesn’t make it a wrong representation 🫶

(I was diagnosed by a therapist, please don’t hate on me. I’ve never posted about my autism before because I’ve been afraid of wrong accusations)

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Everything had gone wrong today. You woke up with your pyjama pants twisted around your legs and your socks were half off. On top of that, you missed your first alarms, and so you had to wait till 7.30 to get out of bed, instead of 7.15. 

Your days had started off terrible, and it was only getting worse. When you went to get dressed, you discovered the outfit you had planned in your head, was in the wash, and so you had to settle for a different one.

You ran out of your favourite breakfast yesterday, and Bucky had forgotten to buy it, so you had to settle with a bowl of simple cereal instead. 

When you had gotten to school it seemed like everyone had it out for you.

The classes were too loud, and the teachers were annoying. Everytime you zoned out, or decided to doodle a bit to calm down, the teachers called you out and told you to pay attention.

Once you got to maths, the teacher had actually given you detention for doodling instead of listening to her lesson. You tried to explain that by doodling you could focus on what she was saying better, but she wouldn’t hear it. 

Therefore, after the school day, which had already left you insanely overstimulated, you still had to sit through an hour of detention.

After you were finally done, you realised there were no busses driving at this time, so you had to call your mom to come pick you up. Of course, Natasha was happy to do so, and when she opened the door for you, she immediately sensed your mood. 

She didn’t try to talk to you in the car, rather just handed you your headphones and allowed you to go in your own little bubble. 

Once you got home, Natasha had opened your door, letting you out of the car, being careful not to touch you. After you two had gotten up to the apartment, she opened the door for you, allowing you to walk in first.

Bucky was at the kitchen island getting some work done, yet when you walked in he immediately shut his laptop. 

He greeted you with a smile but you didn’t acknowledge him. 

Instead, you kicked your shoes off, heading for the couch and letting yourself fall onto it. Natasha gave Bucky a glance, letting him know what was going on. Of course, he understood immediately, getting up and preparing you a cup of hot chocolate, that, according to you, only he could make properly so that it wouldn’t be too sweet or too watery. 

Natasha took it upon herself to grab your favourite blanket and made sure to grab your some inside clothing, walking to the couch and letting you get changed. 

You had specific inside and outside clothing, and after wearing your clothing outside, it was impossible for you to sit on any furniture in your room with your outside clothing still on. 

After you had gotten changed, Natasha helped you get comfortable on the couch, finally starting to speak. 

“Would you like to watch something, cuddle, or be alone for a moment?” Natasha asked you gently, wiping some stray hairs from your face. You shrugged, not being sure of anything at the moment. 

After a minute or two Bucky walked into the living room, three mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. He had made sure to use your hot chocolate mug, which was different from you cold chocolate milk mug, and he made sure to use the proper spoon. 

He handed you the mug, and you smiled slightly, leaning forward to give him a kiss on his cheek. 

He knew you weren’t up for speaking right now, and he didn’t dare think about pushing you. He always valued the physical affection you used to express your gratitude. 

You sat up on the couch, your favourite blanket draped over you, comfortably weighing you down. 

It was then that you decided you wanted to watch your comfort show, but you didn’t feel like talking, yet you didn’t know how else to express yourself. You though for a moment before turning to Natasha, looking at her with pleading eyes. 

“Do you need something my love?” she asked, softly stroking your hair. 

You nodded and motioned at the tv. Whether it was the fact that they were both highly trained assassins, or the fact that they were your parents, both of them immediately knew what you meant, and they didn’t hesitate to turn your comfort show on. 

They waited for you to initiate the cuddling session, and they allowed you to snuggle into them when you were ready. 

You put your now empty mug down and leaned your head over to Bucky, snuggling into his warm, strong arms and letting yourself feel safe in his embrace. You laid your legs over Natasha’s legs, and she smiled as she say you and Bucky being so close. 

She might not ever admit it, but there was nothing in the world that would ever make her more happy than seeing her child snuggled up with her dad.

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @simp-erformarvelwomen @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @mxximoffswifey @lorsstar1st

[serv0z]

RAHHH a drawing of all the sillies currently occupying my brain right now. Funny thing is!! My last LN related drawing was posted almost exactly a year ago!! how funny! Close-ups and yapping under the cut

I'm running on 3 hrs of sleep bc i stayed up till 5am to make this and then i had a neurologist appt at 8 so!!! (i got officially diagnosed with adhd or add we win, i already forgot which one he said but i get my meds tmrw!!) I might take a nap after this im so exhausted. ANYWAYS.!!! i love. flowey and clover friendship no one start yelling at me abt how flowey didnt care!!! theyre best friends to me!!!! and it works out as im a clover kinnie nd floweys been my comfort character for years now. we win. I don't think monsters really had binders at first (dont use bandages btw guys, dont be like Starlo was!!11) I think the first time one fell into the trash dump or wtvr someone picked it up and then once figuring out its uses just!! boom!! business!! figuring out how to safely make more and!!! finding ways to accommodate certain monsters with different body types!! esp with the spikes and such. Ceroba def helped Starlo out with his bandages often before they were able to get him a binder. the one where clovers drawing is !! an idea of revived!clover or clover staying in the underground in hiding. Martlet got him that shirt :)) and obv the bell earring is from Ceroba. sorry to all my cotl followers i STILL have no colored the 5 body refs of both narinder and lambert. I picked the colors here on a whim so uhmmm it's not official!!! not yet anyways!! i do like what i used for Narinders fur tho, so that might stay idk yet i hte coloring BNJKNKSD i colored this whole thing on a wild impulse.. thus staying up all night. I think clover would really enjoy waterfall if they were ever able to visit it after or during the whole soul thing. It's peaceful and beautiful and also one of my fav areas in base game sooo :) i missed my LN kids. I reread Raccoons on ao3 and remembered how much i loved them and their silly lil dynamic. im a #1 six defender btw i WILL throw hands if u say some wrong shit abt her. mono, less so bc i think a lot of people have a good grasp on his character now but six is ALWAYS villainized. Has been for years nd it ticks me off bc?? she was right for her actions kinda?? not really?? ofc both characters made bad choices that lead to it but dont disregard her feelings either? idk its a whole thing i cant get into on THIS post. a lot of the doodles are just random moments like Six in the Maw with their bigass keys and locks, maybe its one of the ones to the kitchen and thats why she's rushing :D? Mono isnt really. he wasnt meant to be in the end game room but i wanted funky lighting so do with that as u will. Silly stuff with RK and Six, RCG I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT U HUN <333 I JUST DONT HAVE A DESIGN FOR YOU YET!!! same for Low and Alone </3 RK with the nomes my beloved <333 nd ofc the last dance based on the animation on youtube!!! do not tag any of the ln kids as ship!!! and do not tag clover and flowey as a ship either!! only two im fine with in this drawing is staroba or narilamb oki goodnight

[mysticcoffeecat]

Re: Post-COVID Stan and his Job, a Kind-Of Defense:

Soooo I know a lot of folks aren’t too happy about the fixed/final timeline’s Stan’s future job in the Space Force, and I get it. But I’d like to argue that it isn’t as far off base for his character as many folks give credit for. I’m not saying it’s the perfect job for him, but it’s not completely off-base, and I really do think the creators gave careful consideration to his job here.

Before I explain, first let me say that I do understand some of the frustrations and wish they would do some type of episode about the Space Force with Stan as a kid to establish his interest in it, or at the very least in a government job. It’s not like Stan hasn’t been to space before or had Space themed episodes (pinewood derby being a very underrated episode), but the Space Force is such a ridiculous concept that it could be a funny episode and parody and could help the ending of Post-Covid feel more well-rounded. They could have an episode where Stan has to get rid of the Space Jail his dad had created and dealing with the Space Cops or some shit like that.

I’ve seen some discourse asking why Stan couldn’t have been a musician or a vet due to his love of animals. To answer that - I think it’s very realistic that Stan didn’t end up a musician. I’m just going to leave it at that. Most people don’t make it in the music industry, and I really don’t think Stan would take it that seriously as an adult to try to navigate that. He’s not that naturally passionate. I think he’d more likely keep it as a hobby. It’s just the reality of things (though I think a fic in that direction would be valid and interesting. Lmk any fic recs for that).

As far as being a vet goes - look, I love animal lover Stan, but let’s think this through logically. He loves animals, and it’s adorable. But that’s exactly why he would HATE being a vet. It’s canon that Stan doesn’t do well with blood, and it’s canon that Stan does not do well with animals being in pain. Being a vet literally combines those two things together that Stan viscerally hates. He’d love being able to be around animals, sure, but he would hate having to perform surgeries/see animals suffer. It would deepen his depression, and he would be too queasy to handle it according to canon. Again, it’s one thing to see this in a fic and I think that would be cute. But in a canon episode? That would make no sense and would be contradictory to several established character points.

So if being a vet or a musician are off the table, where does that leave us? What are some of Stan’s strengths, or some things we know about him that would translate well into the professional field?

Well, we know he loves board games (this is not a one-off from an episode, there are SO many instances of Stan and his complicated board games, whether they being showcased in the background of his bedroom, or him playing them)- and these are not surface-level board games like Settlers of Catan (which I can totally see him looking down on as a ‘way too easy and therefore boring game’). We’re talking about games that take grown adults years to master, let alone learn the complex rules. Not sure how many of you have delved into these types of games he likes, but some of those games are almost like learning a whole new language, and the amount of strategizing you do in the types of games he likes is very high (and we know that Stan can strategize/think quickly on his feet well).

His skills in board games translate into how he navigates the world pretty well. We also know that he shows high critical thinking skills (sometimes to the point of being too critical. Him being diagnosed a ‘cynical asshole’ by a doctor wasn’t just because of the depression- he kinda always has been one to an extent, even before that episode) and very easily sees through bullshit. He also is very adaptable with natural leader skills and is good at adjusting to his environment physically, so I have no doubt that he would be able to learn about, say, working a spaceship.

Basically, a lot of Stan’s strengths that I think are often slept on in the fandom overall are all the things that would translate quite well into some type of military or government intel analyst role. The ridiculousness of the Space Force also aligns with the ridiculousness of South Park in general 100% (there’s so much satire potential there). It also just went well with the political climate of the time the episode aired.

Fun fact: according to his uniform, he appears to be a Chief Master Sergent, which is the second highest enlisted rank possible. He also has an insane amount of awards on his uniform.

One of Stan’s weaknesses is that he has a lack of motivation. I can absolutely see him being unsure of what to do in life but not wanting to be like his dad and joining the military to help at least give him guidance/something to make of himself in his life when he lacks the motivation/structure to think of something himself. And then I can see it evolving from there as he joins the military/how it adapts to his own natural skills. I also think he would secretly like the status he would gain from ranking high up.

Btw this is kinda off topic but I completely head-canon that Craig also works in the Space Force with Stan. Also, Stan is not short (look to the screenshots). . Looks to be the tallest of the main four, followed by Kyle, Kenny, then Cartman who is quite short.

[weemietime]

There isn't a whole lot of content on Tumblr about schizoid personality disorder so I thought I would make a little informational post. SZPD is a cluster A personality disorder, of the odd/eccentric cluster alongside schizotypal and paranoid. It is on the schizophrenia spectrum, and comprises the negative rather than positive symptoms of schizophrenia.

This primarily means we have avolition, catatonia, flat/blunted affect (demeanor), limited interoception (emotional sensations), lack of bonds to others including primary family members, and indifference to the opinions of others.

Whilst this isn't a diagnostic criteria, many of us are also asexual and aromantic, meaning we don't want to have sex with other humans (but usually do masturbate) and have no interest in romantic companionship.

My most disabling symptom is avolition, because I have comorbid ADHD. This means when I don't have my medication (dextromethorphan 120mg) I just sit there and zone out and can't even hold a conversation or move my body, nor even do things like feed myself. It is genuinely crippling and I am unemployed because of this, even though my meds help, they don't cure me and I need a lot of time alone.

Schizoid is something of an "anti-human" disorder, because we fail to form basic social bonds with others including primary caregivers. As a child I got diagnosed with inhibited RAD because I could not tolerate human contact. This differs from autism because autistic people generally want to socialize, they just lack the skills. I don't want to socialize and it takes tremendous effort for me to do so.

To even make this post I had to wait for my meds to click in as I was just sitting there mindlessly beforehand. While we have low internal sensations of emotions like caring, love, happiness, trust, sadness, etc. we aren't typically antisocial/dissocial and don't have a pattern of exploiting others or dishonesty. This requires too much effort.

There is a schizoid version of narcissism but it is separate to narcissistic personality disorder. NPD is characterized by a very fragile ego. You can't contradict or disagree with NPD because they are unable to regulate the emotions caused by conflict. Conversely, SZPD does not care about the opinions of others at all and places little value on them.

Our sense of superiority is legitimate, meaning we just do genuinely believe we are smarter than other people. So your mileage may vary on how insufferable you find that. I recognize this trait in myself and work to actively challenge it since it is illogical for me to think I am more special than anyone else. But, my ego is very stable, so criticism doesn't bother me the way it would in NPD.

Interoception means the sensations you feel inside your body. We lack this, so even stuff like hunger and tiredness don't impact us until we are very hungry or extremely exhausted. I don't have the feeling you would to look at a family member and get a sense of love or trust. I have a logical sense of obligation that I developed through choosing what I value based on reason. I describe this as care, and I place importance on my friendships, but there is no emotional component to this, it is all cognitive.

Tangentially: I'm somewhat of an optimistic nihilist, believing that there is no grand purpose to existence. Yes, even as a religious person. I don't think G-d ultimately has a purpose either, as an agent of the universe. (I don't believe G-d created the universe.) We have a human nervous system, so we base our rubric for morality on suffering and decide what is meaningful both collectively and individually.

I don't believe in true freedom of will (but I do believe we have agency), because we know that Bereitschaftspotential or reaction potentials occur in the brain up to two seconds before we become conscious of a volitional desire. Our consciousness occurs because of quantum synchronicity in the brain, so our free will is in a bit of an in-between state rather than fully determined or fully free.

So, we are not born deciding "I'm going to be an abuser," that happens because of brain abnormalities. It's no different than the forces of creation and destruction at work like a virus infecting a host cell. I don't place much importance on concepts of self-hood, I view myself as the electrical and chemical processes that occur in my brain, which happen without my choosing, that I can influence and impact through my own agency.

Anyway, these are just some basic schizoid meanderings for you all and I hope that this was informative or interesting in some way. Peace.

[clownrecess]

(Tw for talk of r/fakedisordercringe, ableism, fake claiming, harassment, etc.)

I have had it with r/fakedisordercringe. This subreddit is filled with content that is both ableist and harmful to the neurodivergent community. The posts mock autistic people, systems, people with ADHD, etc. suggesting that people are faking or exaggerating their symptoms for attention. First of all, it's incredibly harmful to assume that someone is faking a disorder just because they don't fit into your narrow view of what that disorder looks like. Autism, for example, is a spectrum disorder, which means that there are a wide variety of ways that it can present itself. Just because someone doesn't exhibit all of the classic symptoms that you associate with autism doesn't mean that they're faking it. (Tell me you're an aspie supremacist without telling me you're an aspie supremacist /hj)

The reasoning that the users of this subreddit often use tend to fall under these categories:

"They don't experience *insert disability* the same way that I do, so they must be faking"

"They post too frequently about their disability, so they must be faking"

"They support self diagnosis, so they must be faking"

"They use xenogenders/neopronouns, so they must be faking"

etc.

Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe not everyone is the same? That not everybody's disability is the same? /nbh

The idea that someone can determine whether or not another person is truly autistic or has a mental disorder based on a few online interactions (or even just a post!) is absurd. Not every autistic person or people with other disorders fits the stereotype of what people expect, and it's not up to strangers on the internet to decide who is "legitimate" and who is not.

As an autistic person, I'm tired of constantly having to defend myself and my experiences. I'm tired of seeing people with disabilities being reduced to nothing more than punchlines for jokes.

A few days ago someone in a youtube comment section accused me of faking being autistic, by saying something along the lines of "Self diagnosed ahh". First off, not everybody can safely access diagnosis. You are so incredibly privileged if you think everyone can. Somebody being undiagnosed does NOT immediately mean they are faking. Second off, I am literally professionally diagnosed.

I am tired of r/fakedisordercringe and the hate, misinformation, and stigma it perpetuates.

Leave disabled people ALONE.

[moony-2001]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Psychopathy: a Critique on Hades' Character and Personality pt. 1

TW: grooming, abuse (financial, physical, sexual, emotional), violence, manipulation

It is imperative that everyone reading this takes into account the fact that I am not a licensed psychologist. This is purely my own (unprofessional) opinion based on the knowledge I have. When I use the term "diagnose", please take it lightly.

I would also like to note that narcissistic personality disorder and psychopathy are usually misrepresented in the media and there is a lot of stigma surrounding these disorders. I would like to take the time to point out that just because Hades is an abusive groomer that I am “diagnosing” with these disorders does not mean that every person with NPD or psychopathy is an abuser or a groomer.

Hi. I wanted to start by saying that this post will cover many upsetting topics (listed in the Trigger Warning [TW]), so please read at your own discretion.

Straight up, this post is not going to be pretty. It is going to be long and technical and full of me blabbering away about XYZ. Based alone on how long this intro is, it's probably going to be split into multiple parts. If you don't want to read this because of all of the aforementioned things above, that's okay. If you don't like what I have to say, that's okay too (but be respectful). But if you do want to read this, I would be so grateful. I hope at the end of the day, you can at least appreciate my efforts. I will try my best to not get snarky, however I apologize if some snark does come out.

The way the sections are going to be broken down consists of the following:

The disorder + definition

What the criteria is that must be met for the disorder

Other known personality traits those with the disorder have/what are other traits people with this disorder have in common

Examples from Lore Olympus that (in my opinion) would cause the character to fit the disorder

"Honorable" or "Dishonorable" mentions

Final Thoughts

Additionally, I will talk very briefly about Hades being a groomer and an enabler. These are not mental illnesses and thus will not be taking center stage. With that being said, let's begin.

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)

I must clarify that psychopathy is not actually a category in the DSM 5. Psychopathy falls under Antisocial Personality Disorder or ASPD. So you wouldn’t be diagnosed as a psychopath, you’d be diagnosed as someone who has ASPD with more psychopathic (or sociopathic) tendencies which the DSM 5 does specify. So, even though I can't actually "diagnose" Hades with psychopathy, I can "diagnose" him as someone who has ASPD with more psychopathic tendencies. Again, I'm using the term "diagnose" here very lightly.

The Disorder

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) is a Cluster B Personality Disorder in the DSM 5. Cluster B Personality Disorders are typically marked by inappropriate, volatile emotionality and behavior that is often unpredictable.

The diagnostic criteria for ASPD is as follows ->

a. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others... as indicated by 3 or more of the following:

failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest

deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure (i.e., to obtain money, sex, or power)

impulsivity or failure to plan ahead

irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults

reckless disregard for safety of self or others

consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations

lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

b. the individual is at least of 18 years of age

c. there is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years

d. the occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder

When these traits were expanded upon under the diagnostic criteria, these are the traits that stuck out most to me:

"... may repeatedly perform acts that are grounds for arrest such as destroying property, harassing others, stealing, or pursuing illegal occupations."

"... decisions are made in the spur of the moment, without forethought and without consideration for the consequences to self or others."

"They may be indifferent to, or provide a superficial rationalization for having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from someone (e.g., 'life's unfair'); they may minimize the harmful consequences of their actions or may simply indicate indifference; they generally fail to compensate or make amends for their behavior."

Associated Features

Those diagnosed with ASPD may also exhibit other behaviors that are not in the diagnostic criteria but are commonly associated with the disorder. These "features" include:

"Frequently lack[ing] empathy and tend[s] to be callous, cynical, and contemptuous of the feelings, rights, and sufferings of others"

"Irresponsible and exploitative in their sexual relationships"

Have a history of many sexual partners and may never have sustained a monogamous relationship

"May also experience dysphoria (tension, inability to tolerate boredom, and depressed mood), associated anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, substance use disorders, somatic symptom disorder, gambling disorder, and other disorders of impulse control"

"May also often have personality features that meet the criteria for other personality disorders, particularly borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorders"

Additionally, ASPD cannot be diagnosed before age 18 and is more common in males. Males with ASPD often have some kind of substance use disorder.

Abuse or neglect may increase the likelihood that [a] conduct disorder will evolve into antisocial personality disorder.

Common Examples within Lore Olympus

Irritability and Aggressiveness

As listed above, two of the possible behaviors indicative of ASPD are irritability and aggressiveness, something that Hades seems to have endless amounts of. The two beings that are frequently at the receiving end of this behavior are Thantos and Demeter, though really, Hades behaves inappropriately to anyone who isn't in his innermost circle. This, in my opinion, makes me believe that his abuse of others stems more from narcissism rather than ASPD but I am still unsure.

Throughout the comic, Hades treats Thanatos, his adoptive son, cruely. Even though the panels I used as an example are primarily from the trial and post-trial arch, there are plenty of other examples of Hades talking down to, belittling, or humiliating Thanatos, especially in public. Hades later tries to excuse this behavior by saying that due to the abuse he suffered as a child, he "didn't know what to do" with Thanatos. So, in a genius act of parenting, he resorts to *checks notes* either icing out Thanatos or verbally/emotionally abusing him until he could survive on his own. At which point Hades functionally abandons him. And remember when Thanatos asks Daphne if she's going to break his phone? Odd reaction to someone asking if they can see your phone, right? We know that Hades can be violent, often resorting to physical harm or destruction of property. So what's to stop him from smashing Thanatos' phone as a form of abuse? Granted, that last part is speculation, but don't forget Hades ripped out someone's eye and broke both his legs. Breaking a phone isn't above Hades.

Though the reader doesn't see a large majority of Hades' abuse towards Demeter until later, Hades openly admits that he and Demeter never got along, claiming that Demeter "always" found something to argue with him about. I suspect the actual details of their dislike for each other wouldn't make Hades out to be the victim of Demeter's "nagging". My theory, though wildly unsupported, has some stock to it due to Hades not just belittling but being outright cruel to Demeter in the panels below. But of course, Hades is suddenly worried about making a terrible impression on Demeter after thousands of years of bad treatment now that someone they both care for is involved which reeks of narcissism.

Failure to Conform... to Lawful Behaviors

Something that goes hand in hand with Hades' aggressiveness (and is another required "trait" for ASPD) is his failure to conform to lawful behaviors. Obviously, he's not the only character who does this in Lore Olympus, but I'm not talking about the other characters today.

Three situations that go beyond irritability and aggressiveness and turn into a breach of lawful behaviors (among many) are his brutal assault on Alex, his assault on the nymph to get back Persephone's comb, and the threatening of the pawn shop owner after being denied information about Persephone.

I remember when reading the chapters about Alex’s torture, people either cheered Hades on or felt indifferent. I honestly don't remember my reaction when reading these chapters the first time, but looking back now, Hades majorly overreacted. Paparazzi are generally a scourge upon the earth, and I do understand when celebrities get aggressive with them for wildly overstepping boundaries for the sake of a story. However, Hades' punishment (and reasons for the punishment) is extremely cruel and unusual, especially given that this story is supposed to be a MODERN retelling. I know the core cast are gods, so cruel and unusual is kind of their thing, but that archaic attitude of the ancient world clashes with upheld societal norms of today's times. I've seen videos of celebrities flipping off, getting aggressive, or even shoving away paparazzi but never ripping out their eye or breaking their legs.

I don't think Hades nearly killing Alex was the white knight moment people thought it was; clearly he doesn't know Persephone as well as he thought he did if he thought that nearly beating her classmate's roommate to death is something she would give him a treat and a pat on the head for. Not to mention, Hades did it for his own ego, not for Persephone's sake, something Persephone calls him out on. AND HADES ADMITS IT. Sure, Hades claims that Alex put Persephone's scholarship at risk, which is true to an extent, however, he quickly turns the situation into a "how dare you do this to ME" situation, something I pointed out in one of my previous chapter critiques as a major flaw of Hades.

And if you think "cannon" Lore Olympus Hades is a scumbag, wait until you read the pilot episodes of Lore Olympus. I thought Hades' brutal torture of Alex was bad in the officially released episodes, but if you go on the Lore Olympus Wiki where the pilot episodes are posted, you will see it's... so much worse. Imagine it like this: if Hades being shown about to rip out Alex's eye made you grimace, what he does to Alex in the pilot comic will literally horrify you.

Another character Hades assaults and harasses is the unnamed nymph in the underworld who had purchased and was wearing Persephone's comb. Again, she had purchased the comb i.e. it was legally no longer Persephone's, and therefore Hades had no right to take it back. It doesn't matter whether or not Persephone "would've never sold the comb if she didn't have to". Regardless of whether or not she had the comb, Hades as king of one of the three realms has no right to treat his citizens like that. It is unseemly.

It is just as unseemly for Hades to threaten the pawn shop owner because she refused to give Hades information about Persephone. Privacy policies are extremely important. This owner doesn't know if Hades is an abusive partner or if he's trying to hurt Persephone. It's the same reason why in real life, most places of employment are legally not allowed to give out any information about their employees. But sure, Hades can throw a temper tantrum because he doesn't get his way and when the temper tantrum doesn't work, he can try out his little sob story and magically get the information he wants.

Persephone once argued that as a king, Hades has a little more wiggle room to do what he pleases. However, I disagree. I think as a king, he should have less wiggle room because he is the face of a realm. He needs to set an example for his citizens. Instead he is allowed to run wild and do what he pleases, with Hecate either barely reining in Hades or aiding him.

Exploitative in their Sexual Relationships/Non-monogamous Relationships

Quick note: the DSM 5 hasn’t been updated in about 10 years (with minor changes made in 2022) and non-monogamy will likely no longer be included in future ASPD criterion since the rise of polyamory. A better descriptor for non-monogamy would likely be serial cheating, but for now, it is still regarded as non-monogamy in the DSM and I will be referring to it as such here. Keep in mind that not every person who has ASPD is going to be exploitative in their sexual relationships or participate in non-monogamous relationships and it is deeply unfair to make that assumption of someone who does have ASPD. However, there is usually a reason that certain traits or associated features are listed in the DSM-5 (or on other sites about the disorder) so keep that in mind.

One of the biggest critiques in the anti-LO community concerned Minthe, Hades, and the nature of their relationship. It was made abundantly clear from the very beginning that their relationship was incredibly unhealthy and involved themes like exploitation, abuse, and power dynamics. Obviously, Rachel wanted to portray Minthe as the toxic, jealous ex which worked in a way, given the fan base's treatment of her. However, the moment it was revealed that Minthe was nothing more than Hades' PA with whom he slept (which is a gross behavior still seen in the real world today), I felt it went downhill from there. As more and more details about their relationship came to light, it became clear that the abuse happening in their relationship went both ways, starting right from the moment Minthe became Hades' sugar baby. Please remember that financial abuse is just as damaging as verbal, physical, or psychological abuse. To clear up any confusion, here is a rough timeline of Hades and Minthe's relationship:

Hades and Minthe meet for the first time at the car event where she is working

Minthe storms into Underworld Corp. because she didn't get paid for the gig and was angry at Hades for (unintentionally) screwing her over

Hades fires his current PA and Minthe becomes his new PA

Minthe becomes his sugar baby either immediately or not too long after that

Hades blurs the line first and their relationship is no longer "no strings attached"

Years of on-and-off relationships, abuse, and fighting

Hades was planning on proposing to Minthe (which she discovers beforehand) despite knowing that his family hates her and she never wanted to be queen of the underworld

Hades meets Persephone and begins an affair with her, despite never officially breaking up with Minthe

Hades eventually breaks up with Minthe after she hits him

Hades immediately moves on to Persephone, a 19-year-old whom he's only known for a few weeks

Once again, in the pilot comic, the way Hades treats Minthe is worse. After she seemingly doesn’t come to the party with him (or claims that their relationship “isn’t working”), he immediately cancels her phone plan and doesn’t pay her rent as, what, petty revenge? Again, this is a form of abuse; Pilot!Minthe is now homeless and stranded because Hades took away essentials from her, leaving her scrambling. Hades shouldn’t have to lie down and take Minthe’s treatment of him, but he inherently has power over her as her king, employer, and a god. Their relationship was never one of equals.

Side note: The reason I also included the panels of Minthe talking about what Persephone “gets to look forward to” with Hades is that often, people with ASPD will have a “glib, superficial charm” as stated in the DSM-5. We often see Hades turning on the charm with Persephone, but again, I have a feeling that what Minthe is saying in an attempt to hurt Hades isn’t far off from the truth. And she gets turned into a plant because of it.

*inhale* Emotional 👏🏻 affairs 👏🏻 are 👏🏻 affairs 👏🏻

Not to mention that Hades also got physical with Persephone (and Hera) even while he and Minthe were still together. Like Persephone said, MINTHE DID NOT DESERVE TO BE CHEATED ON and yet they both go ahead and have an affair anyway??? I don’t understand why Hades felt the need to have an affair with Persephone when he had the resources and support necessary to leave Minthe (like seriously. I’m sure there would’ve been a massive party thrown by his family and close friends because they all look down on her). If it was Minthe who decided to leave Hades, she would've had a much harder time with that process.

I will admit I am biased on this topic. I despise cheaters. If you’re going to cheat on your partner, you should just leave and spare them the emotional pain. Instead, Hades drags out their relationship while being involved with Persephone, then gets to play “responsible” so he can sweep Minthe under the rug.

Let's not forget that Hades' relationship with Persephone is exploitative, too. Persephone is a sheltered, naive 19-year-old who hasn't once left the mortal realm until the beginning of this story. She doesn't even know what a butt dial is. Persephone is practically the poster child for the born sexy yesterday trope. And, like every titular story where this god-forsaken trope exists, there also exists a creepy man who is much older than the female protagonist and is totally okay with taking advantage of her so that he may end up with the ideal woman. Like Hera said when chewing out Hades: she's young. Easy to impress. Won't argue with you. And even after Hades finds all this information out, he goes, "Aw damn, that's a shame. Guess I'll pursue her anyways". Luckily for him, Persephone hasn't been around the block, which makes her the perfect target for his grooming and manipulation tactics. Disgusting.

Additionally, there are other moments after Hades and Persephone get together where he exploits her. Some of these moments include when he proposes to her. In this instance (and other situations), Hades exploited Persephone in a moment of distress where he framed himself as someone who could take away her pain. While I won't stick up for the way Demeter treated Persephone, Demeter was correct in the sense that Hades only asked Persephone (and Persephone said yes) to spite her. Of course Persephone was going to say yes, but Hades knew that. That's why he asked in the first place. That was his work around to Demeter's promise of preventing Hades from having something of hers that he truly desired.

Reckless

Hades' recklessness wasn't something I initially picked up on when first reading this comic. However, when doing a more thorough read, it is evident that this behavior is behind many of his actions.

The sleep dive chapter bothered me so much because not only was he not listening to his wife at all, but he acted like they were somehow the victims in this situation which was… certainly a choice. And she had to talk him off a way by having sex with him which just felt so icky to me. Not to mention, he initially wanted to confront Kronos without a plan because HIS pride was at risk. Both of these situations can also be classed as “reckless disregard for safety as self”.

Hades was also reckless in rushing into his relationship and marriage with Persephone. She says she wants to take it slow, he pushes boundaries. She says she wants to live in her own apartment so naturally they move in together 3 episodes later. She wants to take time for them to date and know each other? Nope, he rushes right into that god-forsaken proposal. I don't think I have much else to say on this topic without sounding like a broken record, but this is a behavior that should raise a warning in readers' minds about Hades' ability to make good choices, not only as a person but as a king.

Dishonorable Mentions

There are some “dishonorable mentions” that I think could’ve taken the main stage but I’m not going to go in-depth about them for a few reasons (such as Tumblr's 30-picture limit). They include:

Excuses/Lack of Remorse about the treatment of characters (217, 253)

This mainly concerns Thanatos and Demeter, the two people Hades most often antagonizes. In my opinion, neither party got a proper apology from Hades, just half-assed excuses. Hades blamed his childhood circumstances for the way he treated Thanatos (which funny, Kronos does the same thing with Hera) and his way of making up for that is offering him a sandwitch which just.

Wow. Truly inspiring parenting skills right there.

Not to mention that in the finale Rachel writes that Thanatos and Hades barely talk with each other?? So much for making amends or whatever.

As for Demeter, Hades makes an excuse about how by Demeter "taking away his volcanos", she would remove his only tie to the mortal realm which... I guess we're supposed to feel bad about? As if Hades frequently visits the mortal realm anyways. I suppose it's the principle of the matter, but I still think it's a half-assed apology, especially considering it's been hundreds of years since Demeter was screwed over as queen of the Mortal Realm. And I know Hades also brough back Demophoon, Demeter's "son", but let's be real, it was just to get brownie points with Demeter.

Inappropriate treatment of Persephone in the workplace (40, 41, 44, 59, 88, 107, 178)

Now, I'm unsure if the way I'm interpreting "consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior..." is, in fact, correct, but I'm going to err on the side of caution and mention Hades' treatment of Persephone in the workplace. This is something I mentioned in Minthe's section, but it is irresponsible and inappropriate of Hades as Persephone's boss to treat her the way he does. The private lunches, the tours, hours spent together not working, the list goes on. Not to mention Hades keeps swinging back and forth between trying to treat Persephone as an employee under him and trying to get her under him.

Alcoholism

Hades' alcoholism goes without saying. It has pretty much been known from the very beginning that Hades has an issue with drinking excessively, to the point where Zeus even snarks to Persephone that where Hades is, there's likely booze. Which... is he wrong? Is he? I don't have a whole lot to say on this subject, I just figured I'd bring it up since substance use disorders are frequently associated with ASPD.

Final thoughts

It’s incredible how Hades got older but never seemed to grow up. Granted, something might have been stunted due to the abuse he suffered as a child, but this is also the man who called his therapist a quack so I can only feel so much sympathy for someone who bemoans their situation but refuses to get help *cough*the afterward chapter*cough*. It's very clear that Hades as also been enabled and coddled to the point of being able to unlearn his behaviors and anyone who tries to stand up to him or does something to displease him suffers his wrath.

Overall, while I was not in Rachel's head while writing Hades' character (and I frankly didn't want to be), this is one of my best guesses about what is wrong with Hades. It’s pretty obvious that Rachel never intended to write Hades as someone who presented with anything other than PTSD, but it’s still kind of shocking how many boxes Hades checks off for other psychological disorders. Again, I'm not a professional psychologist, I don't have any kind of degree, I just know a lot about the subject and I love throwing myself into research. All of the information I have gathered has come from credible sources such as the DSM 5 and other similar sites that cite the DSM 5 in their sources. I will see you soon in part 2 when I discuss Hades and Narcisistic Personality Disorder.

[syunkissisfaking]

This person is faking D.I.D, and more. and its time we actually talk about it. ( As someone with DIAGNOSED D.I.D. )

CW ; faking disorders, lying, swearing, antiship debates, harassment, mentions of serial killers (as example), mentions of abuse and trauma (unspecified),

DISCLAIMER ; I am aware this will cause a lot of attention if seen by a lot of people in the D.I.D community. a lot of fakers tend to have similar "aspects" to syunkiss, so I expect hate. as well as a lot of syunkiss fans who will run to their defence (for some reason) this is to spread awareness. This entire post is based on SCIENTIFIC FACTS and my OWN EVIDENCE. i am medically diagnosed and have been for 7 years now.

OTHER BLOGS OF NOTE ; @/idonoiyo @/duckduckgoose-exe @/rab1darachn1d (also faking)

syunkiss is a popular blog, being seen in many areas of the bungou stray dogs fandom. and for some reason, barely anybody seems to actually acknowledge the fact they've been faking D.I.D, or OSDD. whatever they "claim" to have. this is proof of them and their lies.

i don't know how this hasn't been brought up before. it is so obvious that they are faking it and yet everybody seems to nod and agree. the same goes for their circle of friends, by seeing how they have acted for a while. they would be faking too.

I am speaking as an actual system. I have a right to speak about this subject. it is bad for our community and it leaves a bad impression. they do not know the struggles we have to face. let's get into it.

AMNESIA

something common among people with types of D.I.D (using it as an umbrella label) is huge amounts of amnesia. most people are not aware that they may be switching or even know who they are.

it is almost physically impossible that you would know to sign off with a emoji every time you have switched alters. much less switch entire blogs, or even know who is speaking.

your alters are not you, some of them would not even remember you had a tumblr account to stay active on. let alone to add an emoji or any types of sign off in general. a lot of the time me and my alters dont even know where we are, let alone able to go on tumblr and answer asks constantly.

an example of this (not to villanise the concept of people with D.I.D) is that many serial killers have some type of D.I.D, some of them are not aware of the people they might have killed at all. because they have amnesia. this is how it works.

USERBOX

I had managed to save the userbox before they had deleted it.

this is just... what? that is now how fictives or any types of alter are formed. fictives/introjects/factives are valid, we have one in our system. however this is not how they are formed at all. D.I.D is caused by trauma, it is not something that can cause you to split into another alter by daydreaming.

D.I.D is developed (begins developing) at a very young age as a result of intense amounts of trauma, both physical and mental. (it is not from something as small as your parents grounding you or hitting you once. it has to be intense amounts of trauma.) and signs only typically show when you are in adulthood.

there is cases of it showing in younger people, but the trauma is usually extremely worse, and the chance of this happening is very low. there would have to be life threatening levels of abuse at the ages of 5 to 10. and still the youngest it can be confirmed is at 17. this is a scientific fact.

this userbox shows ignorance. if you are going to fake a disorder, do some research at least. or talk to people who actually have the disorder. it was so confidently said im in shock nobody picked up on it.

FICTIVES

this one is going to get me a lot of hate. I know that. however it has to be said.

they claim to be a fictive heavy system, but the chances of fictives being present in systems at all is a very unlikely chance. they usually form after some connection with trauma towards that franchise, related or indirectly related.

having so many fictives from bungou stray dogs is extremely unlikely. it is difficult to house 3 normal alters in one body, but this person is claiming to have so many and all of them are from bungou stray dogs somehow. this is a very obvious sign they are lying. this does not happen. it is even more unlikely they will have every single period of a single character as fictives too.

if they just wanted to roleplay they can. but faking D.I.D for this is damaging to my community.

I am mentioning littles here so I do not have to make a new category for it. it typically develop from dissociation caused by prolonged early childhood trauma. having a fictive who also happens to be a little is so unlikely. if it is age regression, then okay. but syunkiss described it as a little alter.

HEADSPACES

this is a little difficult to explain. but I will do my best.

headspaces do not exist. there is something similar, but that is just your subconscious. you cannot have your alters interact in your headspace like it is a minecraft world.

switching alters works like a timeskip, this is because of the memory gaps and amnesia. this is not fully targeted at syunkiss, but mostly at their friends.

you cannot see what is happening in the "headspace", that is just not possible. switching alters is like sleeping in minecraft, you just wake up whenever you switch back with no memory of what happened between the dates.

HARASSMENT

this is a short section, but it needs to be addressed. syunkiss claims to not go out and harass proshippers or people he disagrees with, and he just "blocks them"

that is their pinned post. that is what it says about them being an anti.

that is them going out of their way to harass somebody else in their inbox.

no, syunkiss it wasn't them who even sent the asks. it was one of my friends who also encouraged me to speak up and make this post. you are contradicting yourself.

I am not a proshipper, I am quite anti. but that does not make it okay.

tdlr ; syunkiss is lying about D.I.D, not even doing research before doing it and he is going against his own word and harassing people.

thank you for reading. my askbox is open if anyone wants any extra questions. i may add to this in the future if more shows up.

[madrivervalleyicelandics]

TW pet loss

Big long reflection post under the cut. Wanted to say it all somewhere that doesn’t have a character limit.

We are about a year out from when we put our two mares diagnosed with ESPA to sleep. Ultimately losing them has caused me to really sit with & unpack the way I had allowed the judging & breed standards to impair, inform, & even BECOME my own judgement, even when they didn’t make sense or clashed with something I knew wasn’t right. I think we all need to become more honest about the root of our sports & traditions, & redefine our ideas of “correctness” not based off of historical trends but the best & most current research we have access to.

I liked Skvísa from the start because she was hypermobile & that made her talented & easy to prepare for sport. Bottom line. Hypermobility wins, the standard calls it correct & rewards it, & I followed & believed in the standard. I didn’t see her hypermobility for what it was until recently. I saw it as talent, suppleness, flexibility.

If I hadn’t bred her, she’d have lived an almost normal lifespan, which is true of many ESPA horses. She always had some sensitivity & required a lot of careful stabilizing training to stay balanced with a rider (particularly to keep her trot & avoid cross-canter), but she would have more or less been okay for the normal lifespan of a horse. Her fetlocks might have dropped in her late teens, she might have developed an unusual propensity for eye ulcers or colics or whatever but if I hadn’t - twice! - allowed her body to undergo 11 months of relaxin & weight gain followed by a year+ of pasture time afterwards, she’d have lived a more or less normal life, & I can almost guarantee she’d have retired undiagnosed & whatever eventually killed her wouldn’t have prompted us to make the connection & diagnose her.

She only got diagnosed because for whatever reason her kids expressed this hereditary disease to a much more extreme degree, & with a much faster progression. Síríus was incompatible with life because his larynx lacked integrity & stuck together when he flexed his neck, blocking his airway. His older sister, Sylgja, seemed normal at birth but presented with extreme nerve impingements as she grew, & was crippled & experiencing whole-body pain episodes by 5. I got to see her get better under my stabilizing training & then watch her completely fall apart worse than before & realize that it was my responsibility, entirely, from her conception right down to the bitter, early end.

What happened to these horses is 100% my responsibility & my fault, the result of choices I made. But I made those choices based on the education I received regarding what “correctness” is & looks like - a standard I was then very heavily reinforced for riding & training towards.

Since my mares’ deaths, I’ve learned about enough other Icelandic horses with this disease, & talked to enough people who fully don’t care & have no intention to change anything that I’ve all but completely removed myself from the breed community. I won’t be told this was an isolated or unlucky problem for me specifically when I know that I’m not alone. I won’t continue to use language that dances around what we’re doing when we endlessly rehab the same problems over & over again - horses losing trot, losing canter, getting pacey, crests falling over, etc etc etc. I can’t see the sense in continuing to chase an “outline” that requires inappropriate poll/AO compression & a degree of leg action that does not make sense to the animal’s anatomy, with no research to support these practices and so MUCH research indicating that this runs counter to welfare, while mindlessly parroting the standards & citing them as the reason why X hypermobile hyperflexed example is “correct.” It’s a feedback loop. We’re saying that the horse is correct if he scores high, but he scores high because he’s correct.

It makes no sense. It’s rooted in nothing. The standard was written to fit the trends - it’s not as if science informed the standard & THEN the sport followed. No! The sport came first. That’s true of Icelandic horses, true of saddleseat, Tennessee walkers, hell - it’s true of competitive dressage. Honestly? It’s true of classical dressage, too! We are riding to standards set by a bunch of dudes from a very long time ago based off of what they thought 1. Looked cool & 2. Felt cool to ride, with NONE of the knowledge we currently have about training science, biomechanics, equine behavior, etc. As recently as the 1970s, scientists were still claiming animals couldn’t feel pain. Think about how that mentality informed horse training!!

We retrofitted rules to match & reward what was already winning, in these early iterations of sport. We continue to do mental & linguistic gymnastics to maintain this status quo with every new study that emerges. We know SO MUCH MORE now. We have progressed rapidly in the last century, last 50 years especially. Equestrian sports NEED an update. The onus can’t just be on the riders to find ways to meet the standards using better, more evidence-based techniques. The sport standards themselves have to change to fit what we KNOW now.

Anyway. Not all hypermobility is ESPA, obviously, and many ESPA horses can live long, relatively okay lives with careful management - if they’re diagnosed and the owners know & can stop riding them & certainly not breed them. It’s worth learning how to manage hypermobility, & how to use certain training techniques to help stabilize hypermobile horses, because the world is now absolutely freaking flooded with them. But until we stop rewarding it so heavily, we won’t stop selecting for it, & as I learned the hard way - when you’re breeding hypermobile animals, you can’t control how that hypermobility expresses itself down the line. AND - ESPA isn’t the only disease or injury associated with selecting for hypermobility.

Bottom line: No horse deserves what happened to Sylgja, in particular. She suffered, and longer than she should have because it took me so long to figure out what was wrong.

Because of this experience with them, my life looks completely different than it did a year ago, & in my opinion every single change is very much for the better. Identifying and learning to manage my own hypermobility & connective tissue weirdness has been a piece of that puzzle. I owe very much to those mares, but that is not what horses are here for. They do not exist to suffer so that we can learn about ourselves.

I considered what it would look like to step away from horsekeeping entirely, & in the heaviest months of grief that felt extremely attractive. But where I landed is to recommit myself to understanding their minds & bodies, be a student again (the trauma-informed certification being the first step of that!) & reconnect with my own horses more as pets, & less through sport. Beyond that, I really can’t say what my future with horses holds.

Right now I’m focusing on healing & supporting my own body, & building up other areas of my life. My own horses are not in the back seat, but they’re on this journey alongside me, rather than BEING my journey. I think it’s the amount of distance & clarity I need from the various pressures & stressors of The Sport to avoid falling back into the cycles that blinded me to Skvísa’s dysfunction to begin with.

I hope that when all is said & done, I emerge from all this grief & shifting to find that I am a better horseman than I was when they left me. Time will tell.

But I can’t let a year go by without acknowledging it. They died about a year ago. It was the worst experience of my life, from Síríus’ birth to Sylgja & Skvísa’s last breaths. I miss them daily. I feel the weight of my responsibility for them & their pain always, & I always will.

And if I haven’t said it publicly, I am so, so sorry for what happened to them.

[dykeiism]

whenever i see people talking about the purpose of mental health diagnoses, three reasons usually come up:

to encourage self-understanding

to concisely describe treatment options to professionals

to gain access to resources and accomodations

but it's hard for me to agree with any of these. given the harm associated with diagnosis, especially diagnosis of a personality disorder, i'm finding it increasingly difficult to justify diagnosing any mental disorder at all. below the cut is a breakdown of each of these three reasons, and why i believe that none of them hold up to criticism.

(1) to encourage self-understanding.

diagnostic criteria are so rigid that they discourage self-understanding. they fragment the human experience, categorizing it into easily digestible groups of "symptoms" rather than understanding a person's struggles holistically. this is why we have a phenomenon of people thinking, "well, my anxiety tells me this, but my depression tells me that" and "i'm having an intrusive thought but can't tell if it's coming from my ocd, ptsd, or bpd." diagnosis misleads patients into believing that, much like one might cough due to either pollen in the lungs or a respiratory illness, one might feel anxious due to either their generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis or their post-traumatic stress disorder diagnosis. a more accurate understanding of the human mind would necessarily involve doing away with the pathology of gad versus ptsd, and instead being able to understand that the anxiety might simply result from a combination of previous negative experiences, a naturally sensitive personality, and underdeveloped emotion regulation skills. a diagnosis is a description of a pattern of thoughts and behaviours; nothing more. my mental health conditions don't cause me to think or behave a certain way. rather, my thoughts and behaviours are similar to the thoughts and behaviours of other people who have also been deemed mentally sick. this makes it possible for doctors to use a certain diagnosis as a shorthand to describe my personality and skills (i refuse to call such things "symptoms") to other doctors. it does not mean that i have a sickness that causes me to think and act in certain way.

why would i want to understand myself through the lens of a psychiatrist, anyways? psychiatry is a deeply individual solution to systemic problems. we're living in a world that evolution could not prepare us for, yet we are told that there's something wrong with our brains if we're unable to adapt to these unprecedented living conditions. i refuse to believe that my brain is sick unless somebody has looked at my brain and can tell me where the sickness is. we must not forget that we're dealing with the discipline that understood homosexuality and hysteria as mental illnesses, and that initially understood autism to be a form of schizophrenia.

(2) to concisely describe treatment options to professionals

imagine, if you will, someone with post-traumatic stress disorder. all you know about them is that they have ptsd. now, recommend a treatment method for them!

nobody can give a good treatment recommendation based on that diagnosis alone. more information is needed: is the patient dealing with persistent general anxiety, sudden panic attacks, or a phobia? does the patient have compulsions? is the patient aggressive, anxious, or depressive? depending on the answers, the ideal treatment plan will be quite different.

now let's consider borderline personality disorder. there are 4 types of bpd and there are 256 possible ways to combine the 5 symptoms required for diagnosis (there are 9 symptoms in total). the personalities, cognitive abilities, and struggles of people diagnosed with bpd are quite diverse, and they will all require varying types and degrees of professional intervention. that being said, bpd is almost always treated with dbt and a few medication options including antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and anticonvulsants. there are so many other disorders that are treated with dbt and the same drugs. so why make bpd, bipolar, ptsd, cptsd, and depression their own diagnoses? what reason is there, other than to fragment our struggles and generate stigma?

my wish for the future of psychiatry is that, instead of being diagnosed with a disorder that is simultaneously very specific yet inexplicably vague, patients will be told "your struggles are related to trauma and emotional dysregulation. i recommend that you take an antidepressant and attend dialectical behavioural therapy sessions," or "your struggles are related to catastrophization and unhelpful behaviours, i recommend that you engage in cognitive behavioural therapy."

(3) to gain access to resources and accommodations

there are better ways to do this. i don't think anyone should be turned away from the accommodations that they need. however, if resources are scarce and must be gatekept, then a simple interview or quotient test will be sufficient in determining the level of need.

[salti-thelatediagnosedautist]

I am personally 100% for a shitty self diagnosis.

A shitty self diagnosis is usually the predecessor to a fairly accurate self diagnosis.

For me, I didn't think I could possibly have autism because of the stereotypical traits listed (I first started researching in 2013 when most sources were based on children, and not relatable at all to a teenager). So I actually thought I must be bipolar! That was a shitty self diagnosis, but it then later on led to a self diagnosis of autism, which has now become a professional diagnosis of autism.

I honestly hate that there is any dislike to self diagnosis at all... to me it doesn't make sense. Unless you suspect something is "wrong" with you, it's very unlikely you'll just happen to end up in front a psychiatrist or psychologist getting diagnosed. And even if you do it's much less likely that they'll diagnose you with autism unless you have already self diagnosed it.

Lets say someone self diagnoses autism without learning much about it. They just saw a few tiktoks that resonated with them and they went for it.

Here's my thought process.

They are going to continue learning about autism, great!

This means if they don't have autism, they will likely become a lot more empathetic to people with autism. That's awesome!

If they do have autism, that's great too! Another correct self diagnosis, yippee! (This is the more likely outcome BTW! It's fairly uncommon for people to think they are autistic for no reason...)

Or the third outcome is, self diagnosing with autism wasn't correct, but it lead to a correct self diagnosis of ADHD or something else. Great for them!

Here's a second scenario. Someone does a shitty autism self diagnosis. They then see a bunch of posts and comments about how you need to really deeply and responsibly research autism for your self diagnosis to be valid. Or even a bunch of people directly comment that to them.

Then here's my thought process with that scenario.

The person is actually autistic but gets scared out of self diagnosing because they worry they can never research enough. They become indecisive and it takes them much much longer to be able to self diagnose because of fear and gate-keeping.

The person isn't autistic and feels discouraged from doing research towards any self diagnosis. They feel isolated and misunderstood. They get upset that they have been rejected by yet another community.

Now, listen. I know that for us autistic people it can feel like we are being attacked on all sides and that bad self diagnosis is just another way we are being misunderstood. But the thing is, from my POV, professional diagnosis is honestly not much better. At all. Doctors have trouble correctly diagnosing physical conditions, let alone mental ones. Most doctors I've been too couldn't even diagnose a rash. It's honestly sad how useless they can be sometimes.

A self diagnosis is key to finding your correct diagnosis also. Without self diagnosis many people won't have ANY diagnosis ever.

A lot of people with a shitty self diagnosis are also often teens. Lost, confused, misunderstood teenagers. And people who self-diagnose mental conditions are often neurodivergent in one way or another. Whether it be autism, ADHD, depression, we should be accepting them all the same. We are all fighting very similar fights.

Now for my big POV - we can't actually truly determine whether someone has an accurate self diagnosis. We are autistic people, but we can't diagnose other autistics. Pretending that we can is a dangerous game to play. Autism can present extremely differently person-to-person. It's important that we don't forget that.

Basically, I understand that it feel frustrating seeing so many people self diagnosis with autism without much research. But please, even if you disagree with me, at least remember to be KIND.