#diabetic muscle and fitness

[astranovaai]

Get access

[suzieb-fit]

Well, it's a very long time since I did such an early workout!

Surprise, surprise, my blood sugars went the entirely opposite way. Been low literally ALL night. What the actual??

Anyhooo.....

I gave up after waking up fully at 3.30 and lying there for an hour before deciding I may as well get my weight training out of the way.

Didn't go heavy. The hydrants actually felt the heaviest.

Then I made myself a decaff (waiting til breakfast for that REAL coffee) and I'm sitting by candlelight in my huge dressing gown before waking the boss up.

It won't be a late one tonight!

[beyondthebloodsugar]

Understanding the Difference: Type 1 vs Type 2 Diabetes

When it comes to diabetes, many people often feel confused about the differences between Type 1 and Type 2. It's like trying to tell apart two siblings who look similar but behave differently. Let's break it down in a simple way.

What Is Type 1 Diabetes?

Type 1 diabetes is like a surprise party that nobody wants. This type happens when the immune system mistakenly attacks the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas. So, what’s insulin? Think of it as a key that opens the door for sugar (glucose) to enter your cells for energy. Without insulin, sugar just lingers in your blood, leading to high blood sugar levels.

Type 1 diabetes usually hits younger people, often in childhood or early adulthood. It’s not about lifestyle or diet; it’s an autoimmune condition that needs insulin therapy for management. People with Type 1 must regularly monitor their blood sugar and take insulin shots or use an insulin pump.

What Is Type 2 Diabetes?

Type 2 diabetes is like the friendly neighbor who becomes less friendly over time. This type occurs when the body either doesn���t use insulin well or doesn’t produce enough of it. It’s often linked to lifestyle factors like being overweight, not exercising, and poor eating habits.

Unlike Type 1, Type 2 can develop at any age but is more common in adults. Sometimes, people can manage it with lifestyle changes or medication. However, some may require insulin if the condition worsens. Managing Type 2 often requires a more proactive approach, like changing diets and incorporating exercise.

Key Differences Between Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes

Cause and Onset

The root cause is one of the biggest differences. Type 1 is an autoimmune condition, while Type 2 is mainly influenced by lifestyle. Type 1 develops quickly, often in childhood or young adulthood, and Type 2 usually creeps in slowly, often appearing later in life.

Symptoms

Although symptoms overlap, they can show up differently. Type 1 symptoms might appear suddenly and include excessive thirst, frequent urination, and extreme fatigue. On the flip side, Type 2 symptoms might develop gradually and can include blurred vision, slow healing wounds, and tingling sensations.

Treatment Methods

Type 1 diabetics must use insulin as part of their daily routine. There’s no cure, but insulin helps manage blood sugar levels. For Type 2, treatment can start with lifestyle changes and may progress to oral medications or insulin if needed.

Who's at Risk?

Type 1 diabetes doesn’t have clear risk factors, but having a family history can increase chances. Meanwhile, Type 2 diabetes is often linked to risk factors like age, obesity, family history, and physical inactivity. It’s like the difference between being born into a family of athletes versus being raised in a couch-potato household.

Final Thoughts

In a nutshell, Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes involve the body's relationship with insulin but are unique in their causes, onset, and treatment. Understanding these differences is crucial for managing each condition effectively. Whether it’s Type 1 or Type 2, staying informed is the key to controlling diabetes and leading a healthy life. It’s all about knowing your body and what it needs!

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

Heat Intolerance

This disability pride month I'd like to talk about heat intolerance. Because honestly although it's not the first health issue that presented symptoms in my life. It was the first time I was like "I don't think my body works right".

And honestly given disability pride month is during one of the hottest months in the year. It seems fitting. Especially because there's a lot of disabilities and medications that cause it.

What is heat intolerance?

Simply speaking it's the inability for the body to regulate it's temperatures especially in hot settings to cool itself down.

Why is awareness important?

Because gaslighting people or worse not providing them a place to cool down just because you "feel fine" is extremely fucking dangerous.

What are the medicines that can cause heat intolerance?

Antihistamines (Allergy medications) . Decongestants (Sudafed or any medication that has the D at the end of it). Stimulants (ADHD medications. Steroids. Caffeine.) Beta-blockers (blood pressure medications). Overactive bladder treatment. Psychiatric medications (including but not limited to medications for depression and anxiety). Pain relievers. Antibiotics.

What medical conditions can cause heat intolerance?

EDS (Elhers-Danlos syndrome). Autism. ADHD. Migraines. Brain/spinal-cord injury. Sensory processing disorder. Chronic fatigue syndrome. Endocrin problems. POTS. Menopause. Hypothyroidism. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Multiple sclerosis. Mental health disorders.

What should I do if I suspect I have heat intolerance?

Reduce time outside during hot months. Keep your electrolytes up. Drink plenty of water. Stay out of the sun whenever possible if outside. Be aware of the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.

Clothes that are best worn for heat intolerance. Loose lightweight breathable fabrics. Natural fibers. Long sleeves that protect from sunburn as sunburns will increase your risk. Light clothes that reflect light. Wide brimmed hats that shade the face and neck.

Cool. So what are those symptoms I'm supposed you be looking for?

Headaches. Excessive fatigue. Mood changes. Muscle cramping or weakness. Nausea/ vomiting. Rapid heartbeat. Excessive sweating or not sweating at all.

When should I do to the doctor?

If you suspect you have heat intolerance you can go to your PCP to discuss what medications you may be on and what you can do about it. Otherwise, please go to the emergency room if you have symptoms of heat stroke.

This is good information and all but why are you making this post?

To raise awareness. Not just for the people that have it but weren't aware of what it was called. But for all of the idiots that tried to gaslight me when I was in school because I was like "I don't think this is normal. Every time we do our mile run outside I vomit all over the place but other kids aren't doing that."

Also because people always blame me for over heating if I wear long sleeves or pants. I always like to take notes from what people in the middle east wear because they literally live in the excessive heat and spend long hours in the excessive heat. Often in clothing that covers most of their body. They've gotta know what they're doing, right?

I have some type of xenophobic comment about why people from the middle east cover up

Shut the fuck up 😊

-fae

[dreams-in-daylight]

.

[thegreatstoryteller]

The Great Shift: Turning 30

The Great shift was a huge time in many people’s lives. Especially those with birthdays who fell around the time of the great shift. Some turning 18, others turning 80! But still others had their hearts set on a time in their life that was quite pivotal. However, because of the shift some may have to wait a little longer to reach that milestone, while others have jumped leaps and bounds beyond it!

Harvey Singh (30 years old)

Fuuuck my head… and my clothes apparently. Damn. This is not what I imagined turning 30 would be like! 

Before the world went insane, I was so close! The damn great shift just had to happen right before my birthday. I was working at this law firm, a pretty shady place at first. Lots of scummy people taking advantage of others, but my boss was trying to turn it around! We kicked out those idiots who were causing trouble, got them arrested! I was gonna get promoted and help lead the charge for helping others… but not anymore.

The great shift landed me inside of Skyler Marlo! 18 year old quarterback for the local university. And right after a big party too. I couldn’t find a stitch of clothes to fit my new larger body. I was really lucky this frat house I woke up in had a towel nearby. But that was just the beginning of my nightmare. 

You see that smile of distress? Yeah that’s me. Instead of writing briefs and taking on clients in need, I’m here on the football field. Apparently after the upheaval the shift caused people are having trouble verifying identities and gaining access to their property/funds. That’s totally something I could be helping with! Instead I'm stuck back in the life of a teenager again. I wasn't a big fan of 18 last time I was in college.

The only thing that could get me after the shift was taking on this guy’s college scholarship. It gives me a place to stay and access to their college library, but I had to join the college football team. Some organizations like college athletics don’t seem to care who is shifted or not! As long as they got the players they need to draw in a crowd, they seemed perfectly content letting anyone play. Though who can blame them. If they saw me before I doubt they’d want some angry short king running their drills. No… now I’m not the 5’0 Indian guy who got overlooked in school. I look the picture of boy next door prom king that rules the college. 6’2, 195lbs of lean muscle, and size 15 feet. That last one took awhile to get used to! Finding cleats that size was the hardest part of this change. 

So here I am, sweating it out day after day to maintain my scholarship, while I wait for the day I’m recertified with my state’s bar! Once I’m a lawyer again I swear I’ll help out others like me forced to cling on to new lives while the system sorts things out. It sucks having to practice every day and do all these drills and grunt work! The college even has me posing for their promotional material to draw in bigger crowds at the game! Who would want this kind of life?!

Then again… it’s already been a few months… I may as well get used to college life… I was a nerdy brown kid my last run in college, mostly studying and doing what my parents wanted… now at least I can get a look at how the athletes lived… That frat did ask me if I wanted to join… I guess it couldn’t hurt to have a little fun while I wait to get my life back.

After all, I do get pretty excited after an intense practice, and judging by some of the looks from my teammates, I may not be the only one eager to get to know my new body better. 

Phil Inver (30 years old)

People need to learn how to relax. I don’t know what the big deal is. So a bunch of people swapped bodies. What’s there to worry about? See me? I don’t have a care in the world. When I was turning 30 doctors told me I was overweight and at risk of diabetes, my work would always be on me for not applying myself, and my girlfriend said I was always too lazy in our relationship! 

But my mindset since the shift hasn’t changed! It landed me in this nice smooth and lean body! I’m glad that this guy kept in such good shape. Having actual abs is insane! Same for these toned arms! I’m not sure if he’s the shaving kinda guy or if he’s naturally smooth, but it sure as hell beats taking care of an unruly beard and body hair!

Turns out now that I look like this people are a bit more receptive to my ideals! Doctors say my heart is as healthy as a horse! Says my stress free lifestyle is a large part of that! My work? They now say my chill attitude makes things a lot more zen around the office. Guess they don’t care I don’t get too much done whenever I flash them a smile. And my girlfriend… or my boyfriend as he goes by now, certainly thinks I’m taking an active role in the bedroom. Who knew that my new stud of a boyfriend had a thing for Asian guys!?

So what am I gonna do now? Listen to music, chill as my boyfriend showers, and wait out the day as normal. Sure I’m turning 30, but it’s just another day in paradise for me! Oh what’s that? This body is only 21? Even better! I’ve got plenty of time to relax before I turn 30.

Devon Lin (30 years old)

So I was a bit nervous about turning 30. I feel like I haven’t really done all the things I wanted… and all my friends were joking saying it’s all downhill after that. I wasn’t dealing the best with the stress… Well like it or not the shift had me face that hurdle a few year further than I expected.

And I gotta say. It’s not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Sure I’m a bit older, but hell  I look a hell of a lot more manly! Could it be that the shift landed me in a handsome 37 year old with a built body, tan skin,  and perfect beard? Maybe… but hey. Age is just a mindset… but these muscles sure aren’t! Boom!

You like that? So do the guys at the bar! They keep insisting I don’t shave my chest or pit hair too. I think I could pull off that look. That being said, I think anything looks good on a 6’5 stud like me. Tall, dark, and handsome all the way!

Before I would jump around from job to job. Bartender, janitor, waiter, and housekeeper, but lately I’ve found my job as a bouncer at the local bar a lot more rewarding. You’d be surprised how many fights stop once I take my shirt off and start playing pool with the patrons. I’ve won nearly every game of billiards I’ve played! Though I have the sneaking suspicion it may be due to the guys staring more at me than the balls.

Guess that’s one of the benefits to working at a chill gay bar! You know, I was always a bit insecure about my body and experimenting sexually. Being a shorter gay man with a chip on his shoulder would do that to you. Now… well let’s just say now I feel like I’ve got a lot more confidence! I may have missed my 30th birthday, but I think I know how I’m gonna spend my 38th!

Marcus Garcia (30 years old)

They say when you get older you begin to value things differently. Honestly I didn’t know what to expect when I turned 30. Was I supposed to be wiser all of a sudden? Have a plan for things? In truth plenty of people younger than me had their life together compared to me. Partners. Kids. A stable job. A house.

In short. I thought I had more time. But we don’t always get to choose how fast life comes at us. I mean look at me. Didn’t expect the shift to make me 55.

Losing 25 years of my life was definitely not the easiest. The great shift nearly tears the world apart and I’m running for my life looking like retirement is right around the corner. That first day was definitely a wake up call that I did not have the same stamina that I used to. In that opening week of the shift I was pretty much running on adrenaline and coffee wherever I could get it. I took lots of naps just to stay sane. 

As the days went on and society slowly readjusted to some version of normal, I began to actually have time to look at my body. I mean I was a pretty skinny guy before, my sister would always say I needed to workout more. But I guess all it took was 25 years of my life to finally get in shape. 

Not only that, but I’m admiring the body hair. This guy was a pretty hairy dude. The salt and pepper stubble had guys starting me daddy at the gay bars, while the chest hair was still dark like my eyebrows and made my impressive physique pop. 

My feet were pretty big too. Size 14! Twice as big as my old feet, but just as hard to find shoes my size. 

Needless to say there were highs and lows to my new life. Was I happy that i was 6’6 now? Sure! Loved being tall and nearly bonking my head on doorframes. Was I upset lots of my joints were sore and that I could only take my coffee black to avoid dairy and sugar? No… that sucked. I liked my sweet drinks and I missed not waking up in pain.

Omar LeRon was a guy that lived along my street. He was a single dad raising his 5 year old, all at the age of 45.

I later learned he had a few wild days in his early 40s that lead to Omar Jr. And now in his mid 20s again he’s glad he could be more present for his son! Even if his son is the same age as him now.

He told me all of this one day when we both left our house for a jog. He found that doing some running in his new body helped him vent some much needed energy from his body, while I needed to do something physical if I was to have any hope of maintaining healthy workout routines for mine! 

Needles to say he offered some words of wisdom growing up and it really helped put some things in perspective. Meanwhile, I gave him some tips about helping his son. Turns out all those years working at my aunt’s day care counted for something, even for post shifted kids!

Our conversations started as friendly advice and then grew into more! Talks became dates. Dates became moving in. Moving in became an engagement! Now a few years after the wedding I guess you truly can call me a daddy now. Jr. sure does. He’s doing great in school and is looking forward to next week when my sister is gonna watch him for the summer.

My husband and I are gonna take our first real vacation since the great shift! We’re looking forward to it! We’ll be celebrating Omar’s 30th birthday in his new body now! He keeps making jokes saying, “Well I’ve done it before. Nothing to it the second time around.” And “Well here I thought your 30th birthday was extreme. I doubt I could top that”

He also never stops teasing me about how he loves being married to an older man and that I’m not as young as I used to be. We know it’s all in good fun. I mean, I can still keep up with him in the bedroom, where it counts… as long as he gives me a few minutes to recover after. Young guys like him are insatiable. I’ll try to power through though. After all, you only turn “30” once.

[fmhobeus]

morning sex! with nanami! it's all i fucking think about!!!!!!!

(arranged marriage au? slight somnophilia?)

he was usually up before you. like wayyy earlier. he's learnt not to bother you even though you can feel his massive weight be lifted of the bed. you know his routine by now. he goes to the gym early, showers and makes himself a cup of coffee by the time you start cooking breakfast. that's the routine, that's one you're aware of. what you don't know is that he's been watching you sleep... for like... everyday you both have lived together.

and it's !!not!! creepy, of course, you are his wife. it's not creepy, the fact that if he looks at you too long he starts to feel his pants getting tighter, a siege of blood flowing south.

it isn't wrong, when he pulls your covers down from your face. of course he just wants you to breathe easier. it's not lust. just an added bonus that he can now see your pretty lips parted, begging for a kiss and your pretty tits squished by your arms as you lay on your side.

if it's not wrong then why does he... why does he feel this way? this guilt? and why does it make him hornier?

so one of these weekends, as he told himself, he'd try his luck. it was all too unbearable for him at this point. you were fogging up his brain with these lewd images. and worst part was... you were oblivious to the effect you had on him.

it's a sunday. his body wakes up at the usual time. wee hours of the morning. you're by his side this time. it's all up to him now.

he tries to be discreet, at first. try lovey-dovey stuff first, as the internet has told him. you feel him shift in the bed and suddenly your husband's massive arms hug you from behind. the muscles tense as he pulls you to his chest. his heart is pounding. and its barely like 5 am.

"you're sleeping in?"

"yeah, weekend."

"no gym?" you ask. you both sleep face opposite sides, this is one of the few times you've had to adjust your body to his frame. you squiggle as you talk, trying to fit the soft curvature of your body with his flatter, harder frame.

"no.. it's uh... closed for maintenance today." he too has a hard time adjusting to you. to your curves, to your proximity, to how you slept in his arms like a fawn. to how he would conceal his erection to spend time like this with you. too much, too unbearable.

"oh, ok." you smiled. "wake me up if you need anything hm?"

you close your eyes once more. now something else woke you up. nanami's face nuzzled in your neck. his hands, this time, toying with your waist. his bulge apparent. it made sense now. you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

nanami kento is the beautiful man you are married to. gorgeous blonde hair. piercing brown eyes, shaped so angular that it's intimidating. perfect jaw structure. and god... that dick. he was caring and responsible too. how could a man this perfect ever love you? you were convinced he didn't. he always looked stoic, removed, disconnected from you an your relationship. he fucked you with care and gentleness and diabetic sweetness. you couldn't feel him want you. but you'd grown to want him. who the fuck has a one sided crush on their own husband?

but this... this felt different. this felt like all those fantasies were gonna come true. those moments you spent doting on him, creating the nastiest scenarios.

oh god, his soft blonde hair, unkempt and messy in bed. his eyes barely open, his body warm. he smelled like himself and not his expensive cologne. it was all so domestic. all so comfortable. how could you miss this side of nanami?

but you continued to be merry with the domesticity of it all to foresee how your perfect husband was about to perfectly split you open with his perfect dick.

[littlebearbigchub]

As usual, gym OOTD is: “Hasn’t accepted that he needs to size up.” 🐷 skipping cardio and letting my shirt ride up in front of everyone when I do my lifts.

I’m really being a fat slut recently. I’ve just been crushing my protein goals after a lengthy period of being too depressed to build muscle. I am feeling so BIG and loving the growing strength. I’m just totally embracing my appetite and the jiggles.

Oh course, I’m sure that it’s only a matter of time before I start freaking out again about the new highs on the scale and make another pathetic attempt at losing some of it. I’m not worried though. I know where I’m eventually going to end up and it’s going to make me so happy.

Standing at the precipice of stepping off the cliff of the 150 lb range is as thrilling and euphoric as it is genuinely terrifying. I can see myself and my path to 165 lbs (which would be my ideal next pit stop on my way to my goal of obesity at 180 lbs) but dang, I’m gonna be ruined physically and mentally if I’m not careful. I think that so long as I keep in shape I can mostly convince myself that my weight isn’t /too/ bad but it’s such a tight line to walk to not get fat too fast to stay fit (for me at least) and it gets more and more tempting to be lazy with every extra pound.

I’ve also basically decided that I’m gonna seek medication related to diabetes prophylactically when I reach that point. Like, I can eat as plant based as possible and work out to support my cholesterol and blood pressure but with my family history and signs of insulin insensitivity already appearing at a certain weight I’m gonna need some sort of pancreatic support - to minimize the squeeze from visceral fat if nothing else (besides more subq would be sexyyyyyyy) I’ve made a ridiculous delusional plan that I could access something like that and it could actually really support my gain by preventing damage from my obesity instead of reacting to it and hopefully minimize the chances of being in a situation where I have to lose weight for my health.

“Piggy boy is such a fatass that he needs meds because he just can’t say no to ice cream, doc. That’s why his belly is spilling out of his shirt and he’s up 10 pounds year over year for the past 5 years. You better do something quick before he starts tipping past 200 lbs and the gains accelerate until he can barely waddle back into this office.”

[vessels-two-front-teeth]

Where the Delicate Stops- IV x Fem!reader/MC

An “In The Low Light” one shot. For now.

Notes: alright folx, I want you to read this very, VERY carefully. This is *technically* part of In The Low Light, but it’s much farther along in the plot than where we are with officially released chapters. There is no real plot in this, nor any character names (aside from IV), so it can be viewed as a stand alone piece for now. I wanted y’all to have something to gnaw on while I work on chapter 3. Once we reach the proper point in the plot I will re-label this as a half chapter so it fits into the right spot. Quality control by the lovely @365granitegirlx thank you as always, Wolfie.

That being said, this is SMUT. MDNI.

Tags etc: IV x fem!reader/MC, established relationship, first time, hand kink, fingering, nipple play, hand on throat but no squeezing, mirror stuff??, fem nicknames (love, baby, princess, good girl), heavy language (but c’mon it’s smut what do you expect), diabetes inducing fluff, it’ll make you cry out your eyes and down your thighs.

Word count: 2951

ITLL masterlist

I listened to Talk by Hozier while writing this. Listen to it here for ✨vibes✨

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I was sitting on my kitchen counter with IV standing between my knees, his hands on my hips, and his lips on my neck leaving soft whispers of kisses. My hands had found their way into his hair, and tugged gently at the nape of his neck. His breath shudders against my skin, and I feel his teeth graze me.

“IV…” my voice is quiet, just above a whisper. He hums against my neck as he leaves an open mouthed kiss on the corner of my jaw. “I think I’m ready. For you.”

He freezes, and his fingers flex against my lower back. He pulls back just enough to look into my eyes, and I see his pupils are blown wide, his eyelids half open. He brings a hand up to cup the side of my face. “What exactly are you saying, love?” His voice is husky, gravelly. He leans closer, brushing his lips against mine, and my breath catches in my throat. I tighten my fingers in his hair, and pull him closer, deepening the kiss. He groans softly as his tongue moves against mine, and we stay like this for a few minutes; lost in one another. I catch his lower lip in my teeth as I pull back to speak.

“I’m saying I want you to make sweet, sweet love to me.” I drag my hands down his chest, across the hard planes of his body, and slip my index fingers into the waistband of his pants. “I’m saying I want you to ravage me.” I pull him closer to me and he captures my mouth with his again.

The kiss is hungry, all tongue and teeth, and his hands squeeze around my hips. I slip my hand up under the hem of his shirt and push the fabric up slightly. He steps away to pull it over his head, and I catch myself getting lost in his beauty. Tattooed skin over taught muscle, a few scars here and there, and a faint happy trail disappearing under his waistband. He catches my gaze, and smirks at me. “You like what you see, love?”

I jump off the counter, and step closer to him, scraping my nails against his skin lightly as my hands move up his chest to rest on his shoulders. His hands slide under the hem of his hoodie I’m wearing and splay across the small of my back. I place a kiss to the center of his chest, and meet his eyes. “Baby, I think you’re divine.” His expression is overtaken with my favourite smile, the one that creates those little crinkles at the edges of his eyes.

He bends down and scoops me up by the back of my thighs, and I wrap my legs around his waist. I place a small kiss on his lips, both of us smiling into it. He turns and walks to my bed, in its place in my living room, and sits on the edge with me straddling him. His mouth finds its way to my ear and the words come out soft as he breathes out. “Do you trust me, love?” He begins trailing searing open mouthed kisses down my neck, pausing to leave small bites in my skin.

I struggle to find my words, my mind made blank by the sensation of his mouth on me. The words fall out of me on a blissful sigh. “Yes…I trust you.” At this he slowly pushes up the fabric of his hoodie, his fingertips against my skin leaving goosebumps in their wake. He pulls it off over my head, and tosses it on the floor. I shiver from the slight chill in the air, my thin camisole and pajama shorts doing little to keep me warm. His hands are back on my body, and they seem to be everywhere at once. I pull his mouth back to mine, and all of my senses are consumed by him. His taste, his touch, his smell, the way he groans in the back of his throat as my nails scratch at his scalp. How his pupils have taken over his eyes when I draw back from him. “You’re so beautiful.” I can’t stop the words from rolling off my tongue. It’s the truth.

He releases a breathy laugh, and rests his forehead against mine. “You’re killing me here, love.” He brings a hand up to cup the side of my face, pushes his fingers into my hair, and pulls my mouth back down onto his. I’m left breathless as his tongue rolls against mine, exploring every crevice of my mouth. He pushes his fingers under the hem of my camisole and pulls back slightly. “Can I take this off?” I pull him back to me as I breathe out an emphatic yes. He quickly removes the garment, tossing it who knows where, and his mouth is on my chest. One of his arms wraps around my waist while the other makes its way around to cup my breast. He leaves desperate kisses on my skin, and suddenly his lips are wrapped around my nipple, his tongue swirling tantalizing circles around the sensitive bud. My head falls back as I gasp at the onslaught of sensation, my fingers pull harshly at his hair, prompting him to use his teeth. A thrill floods through my body, straight down into my core. He releases my skin with a gentle pop, and I tip my head forwards so our eyes meet. “Can you stand up for me, love?” I grant him this, simply standing between his parted knees, my hands still resting on his shoulders. His hands glide down to rest on my hips, his fingers dipping below the waistband of my shorts. His eyes bore into mine, and he leaves a single kiss against my lower stomach. “Can I?” He softly snaps the elastic my shorts against my skin to emphasize his question.

I laugh softly, and nod. “Yes, please do.” My hands always seem to find their way into his hair. He pulls my shorts and panties down my legs, and I step out of them, his eyes never leaving mine. They seem to be searching for some sign of hesitation or second thoughts. I hold his face and, bending down to kiss him briefly, I look deeply into his eyes. “I want this, you don’t have to worry about me.”

He places a small kiss on my palm, and studies me for a moment. “If at any point you want me to stop, just say the word, and I’ll stop. You are fully in control of this.” He holds me by my hips, his touch anchoring me to this moment.

I stand back up, and nod. “I know.” He leans forward and places a few small kisses against my stomach, but stops and stands up.

He grabs my chin between his fingers and forces me to make eye contact. “Do you feel safe with me, love?”

“Yes, I feel safe with you.” My stomach erupts with butterflies. The anticipation is killing me. I feel a fire ignite inside me.

“Sit on the bed, right in the center, a little away from the head board. Face towards the mirror. Wait for me,” there’s a slight stern tone to his voice and he raises his eyebrows at me. “Got that?”

“Yes.” My voice is barely more than a breath. He bends down and kisses me fiercely for just a moment, and pulls away, releasing my chin. I follow his instructions, and wait for him. I watch as he readjusts my standing mirror so that it’s turned directly towards the bed. When he steps away I can see myself perfectly.

He turns to face me and reaches down to his belt, undoing it and his pants. He pushes them down, stepping out of them, leaving him clad only in black boxer briefs. He climbs on the bed and settles behind me, his legs on either side of mine. His hands slide in between my thighs, and gently push out. “Open for me, baby.” I open my legs and he loops his around mine, pinning them down to the bed. He takes both of my hands and places them under each of his thighs and presses his legs down on them. “Keep these here, squeeze as hard as you need to. Lean back against me….just like that. Relax baby, let me do all the work.” The feel of his body against mine is enough to feed the fire inside me. When his arms wrap around my body and his hands find their way to my chest, I can’t hold back the small moan that escapes my mouth. I feel my cheeks flush, and I feel embarrassed for a moment until he says “You make such pretty sounds, love. Don’t hold back. I wanna hear how good I make you feel.” His fingers pinch and twist at my nipples and each one sends a bolt of lightning through my body. One hand trails down and begins massaging over my thighs, and the fire within me grows evermore. His hands on me are like a drug. I can never get enough of them. I need them like I need his mouth.

I crane my neck to the side searching for him, and he grants me what I seek. Our mouths move ferociously against one another, our tongues moving in tandem. He swallows my moans, and I breathe his. I can feel the hard ridge of his erection pushing into my back, how it twitches with each sound I make. His hand is still massaging the inside of my thigh, and his fingers brush against my most sensitive part. My breath shudders and I gasp against his lips. “I can’t take it anymore. Touch me, please, IV. Please, please, please. Touch me.”

He groans and brings his hand to his mouth, sucking in his middle and ring fingers. He pulls them from his lips, a small string of saliva stretching between his digits and his mouth. “I’ll go slow, baby. I don’t want to hurt you.” His fingers ghost over my clit, and the faint sensation drives me wild. My body bucks up into his hand desperately searching for more, and a loud moan pulls from my throat. He traces delicate circles over the sensitive bud before sliding his fingers down and gently pushes just the tips in. I can only enjoy the feeling for a second before he pulls them back out, returning to swirling those soft circles. Within minutes, I am a writhing whining mess. He repeats this same pattern, without end: feather light pressure and barely pushing in.

My body has a mind of its own, rolling up against his hand, constantly chasing his touch. I need more. Now. “Ffffffffuuuuuck…babyyyyy,” his fingers push in again and my thoughts falter. My hands squeeze against the muscle of his thighs, my nails digging in slightly. He releases a small hiss followed by a moan against my hair. The fire inside me is now a raging inferno.

His voice is strained, and the words come out as a plea. “What do you need, love? Tell me. Use your pretty words.”

“More. I need more.” The desperation in my voice would be humiliating at any other time.

“More of that what, baby?” There’s a teasing tone in his voice, and it drives me crazy.

I groan in frustration, “Fuck! More pressure. Deeper, please!”

“That’s it, good girl.” As a reward his fingers press down on me harder, and it rips a keening moan from my throat. When he pushes his fingers in up to the base and curls them against me, I clench hard around them. A tension begins to build in my lower belly, and my breaths leave me in ragged moans. After a few more minutes of this torturous pattern, I can no longer think. I feel his breath on my ear as he speaks. “Are you close, love?” My response is a desperately gasped yes! “Cum for me, baby. I wanna feel you squeeze around me, feel how wet you get. You’re so beautiful, princess. Show me how good I make you feel.”

With this, the tension inside me snaps, and when his fingers push in again, my vision goes white behind my eyelids and I convulse with each thrust of his fingers. He keeps them pushed in, to the knuckle, repeatedly curling them against that tender spot inside, each brush of his fingers sending a shock of electricity down my legs. He continues his ministrations through my orgasm, my body rocking and bucking against his hand all the while. When he begins to pull his hand away, I quickly pull my hand out from under his leg and place it over his. “No, don’t stop. Please don’t fucking stop.” I slide his hand back down to my quivering pussy, and guide his fingers back inside.

The groan that leaves him is pure sin. “Oh my fucking god, baby, you’re so sexy.” As he pulls his fingers back out and begins rubbing firm and fast circles on my clit again, I place my hand back under his leg. When he goes to push back in, he adds a third finger, the stretch causing my body to arch against his arm still giving attention to my chest. A loud animalistic moan tears from my throat, my eyes falling shut, and I feel his hand move from my chest to my throat. He doesn’t squeeze, but he applies a gentle yet firm pressure. “Look at yourself, baby. Do you see how fucking incredible you are? Do you see yourself how I see you, now? Look.” I open my eyes and look at our reflection in the mirror, my mind reeling at what I see. His arms wrapped around me, one hand on my throat, the other on my pussy. The gone expression on his face as he watches us in the mirror, my face matching his as my body jerks with pleasure. The way his fingers disappear inside me. This image will be burned into my mind for the rest of my life. His words send shivers down my spine as he breathes them against my ear. “You think that I’m divine, darling, you’re a fucking goddess.” With this, he gives a particularly firm thrust of his hand, pressing into my g-spot, and I feel my second orgasm begin to build. The sensation of his hand slowly dragging across my slick skin, and his fingers stretching me open soon becomes all I can think about and feel. My breath leaves me in rapid motion, and tension builds in my body, my legs shaking with each swirl of his fingers against my clit. I let my head fall back against his shoulder, a long drawn out moan pulling from my throat. Once again his words come as a hot breath on my ear. “Do you feel loved by me, darling?”

“Yes, I feel loved by you, IV!” I gasp the words as my climax begins to hit. “FUCK!! I’m gonna cum! Gonna cum!” My nails dig harshly into his thighs, and my mouth hangs open as a high keening whimper releases from my lips.

“Cum for me, princess. Let me feel you fall apart in my hands.” My wish is his command, and my orgasm crashes through me like a tsunami. I ride the waves for what feels like eternity, the drag of his skin against my most delicate parts a tantalizing delicious treat. As the tides of my climax begin to recede, the strokes of his hand slow too. I bring my hand back to rest on top of his when it comes to a stop. He releases my legs from his, and I bring my other arm out to rest on his other arm, as it wraps tighter around my torso. I close my legs around both of our hands, enjoying the warmth spreading through my body. He presses countless kisses against my neck and shoulder, anywhere he can reach, until I’m a giggling mess. “You’re so fucking beautiful, baby. I love you so much. Thank you for trusting me enough for that.”

I turn to face him and pull my hand out from between my thighs to hold his face as I pull him closer to mine. We share a tender, drawn out kiss, just enjoying the feel of each other. I pull away breathless, and rest my forehead against his cheek. My hand once again has found its way into his hair. “I love you more. And now I want to return the favour.” His erection is still pressing into my back, and by now it must be feeling painfully hard.

He presses a kiss to my temple and hums against my skin. “As much as I would like that, I think we’ve gone far enough for tonight, love. I’ll be alright. I don’t want to push you too hard. Not yet, anyway.” A teasing tone colours his voice with the last sentence, and we both fall into a fit of soft laughter. He pulls his hand out from between my legs, and scoots off the bed, turning to hold his other hand out to me. I take it, and we both go into my small bathroom to clean up.

When we come back out, we turn down the lights and crawl under the blankets. He pulls me to him, and peppers my face with kisses before tucking me into his chest. I nuzzle against his skin, and wrap my arms around his waist. We whisper our “I love yous” into the dark, and drift off to sleep for the night.

[marumaruz-haikyuu-agere]

Hq disability Headcanons

A somewhat detailed list of my haikyuu medical headcanons

Nishinoya Yuu - Type 1 diabetes and sensory neuropathy

Was diagnosed at 5

Inherited from parents

Prefers an insulin pump to insulin injections

Diabetes causes his sensory neuropathy

Nerve damage in his arms causing bruises because he can't tell when to stop practicing

Kenma Kozume - Hearing loss in both ears, noise damage

Plays games and music with the volume too high causing damage from all the years he's been doing it

Doesn't like to admit that he has hearing problems

Uses CIC (Completely In the Canal) hearing aids because they're small and unnoticeable

Also uses his hair to cover them because even when he knows they're hard to see he's still pretty self-conscious about them

Tendou Satori - Vitamin B deficiency, Motor Neuropathy, Audhd

Tendou has a vitamin B12 deficiency which results in him developing peripheral neuropathy, more specifically motor neuropathy

It causes him muscle spasms/twitching and gives him a barely noticeable foot drop

I think he has Audhd and struggles with paying attention and wanting to move around a lot

He doesn't have a specific hyperfixation exactly but is full of lots of little facts about lots of things

Hinata Shoyo - Audhd, Dyspraxia

I don't think i really need to explain Hinata's Audhd but I will anyways

It's one of the reasons he has so much energy while he's practicing, because he already struggles with staying still but also because it's one of his special interests

It helps him more if things are explained at the speed his brainis going instead of going slowly

I think he has Dyspraxia too because it explains a lot of his struggles in volleyball

It also ties into why the quick attack pair works so well because Hinata has to focus less on getting everything right himself and can put his attention into his motor skills

Oikawa Tooru - Osteoarthritis

Osteoarthritis is pretty common

It causes joint pain and stiffness in most cases

And it's most common in places like the knees

It's usually from old age but in Oikawa's case it's from trying to play after an injury without letting it fully heal

But he refuses to admit that he has a problem

Kageyama Tobio - Dyslexia

He's incredibly dyslexic

Nobody knows though, everyone just thinks he's really dumb

He has consulted someone about it unfortunately he talked to Hinata who also has mild dyslexia mixed with the fact that his eyes won't stay on one point on his page

They both think that letters and numbers do that for everyone and that they just haven't figured out how to read it properly

Ushijima Wakatoshi - Autism

Definitely autistic

Pretty high functioning though

He's pretty slow on some social cues but the basic ones have been worked out in his brain

He has quite a high tolerance for most stuff but he's not the biggest fan of messing up schedules

Tsukishima Kei - Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

Was partially inherited because Akiteru showed signs of it but not enough for a diagnosis

I think he specifically has cEDS (Classical EDS) because it fits him the most

I think he's been pretty used to his joints dislocating sometimes but doesn't realise that everyoen else around him isn't

The first time Yachi saw it she almost fainted

Particularly with cEDS people have easily bruised/breakable skin on their forehead, knees, shins and elbows

He has a few pretty big scars on his knees and shins from when he was a kid

They're also quite wide because with cEDS wounds heal quite slowly and leave wide scars

Bokuto Koutaro - Borderline Personality Disorder

This wasn't originally my idea (He wasn't actually going to be on here but it got pointed out to me yesterday)

BPD comes in four stages, Emotional instability, Disturbed patterns of thinking, Impulsive behaviour and Unstable relationships

With emotional instability it's usually intense negative emotions and severe mood swings which could contribute to his 'emo modes'

During disturbed patterns of thinking he'd get upsetting thoughts (like his emo mode) and hallucinations and distressing thoughts that he can't be talked out of

Impulsive behaviour is one i think he has less negatively but it's commonly negative in most cases

His impulsive behaviours are less harmful to himself and others

Unstable relationships are when he attaches himself to someone and I think that person/people would be Akaashi and Kuroo

Them trying to leave him would not go well, it's why he contacts them all the time because he doesn't like the feeling that they might leave him

[suzieb-fit]

Just waiting for my diabetic eye screening appointment.

It's dark, back to heavy rain and apart from my jacket I've taken off, my "waterproof" gear really isn't 😂.

No biggie.

Before setting off, I got a good full body strength workout in.

Used both my kettlebells, little dumbbells and a plate.

Felt good to level it up a bit.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

hey! so i hope this isn’t too creepy/nosey, but im a medical student and i was reading your possible fibromyalgia post and have a couple ideas lol. full important disclaimer that im only partly into my studies and im currently in the hypochondriac phase and also your summary was amazing but a real doc would ask way more questions, so please consult with an actual doc and take everything i say with a grain of salt! but like your symptoms aren’t nothing so i would def encourage finding a doc that you trust to do a proper exam and run some tests. also im operating under the assumption that you’re under 50 lol, bc if you’re over 50ish that’s a whole diff list of possible diagnoses.

so the thirst thing you’re talking about is often called polydipsia and is commonly associated with diabetes insipidus. that’s not the normal diabetes you think about, but happens when your body can’t regulate fluids in your body properly. id think of this if you’re also peeing a lot lol. your doc would have to do some kidney tests for that, which wouldn’t be part of the blood panel you mentioned. i’m a little skeptical that it’s hypokalemia bc that would’ve showed up on your blood test results. it could be transient electrolyte imbalances when you exercise so have one of those electrolyte packets when you exercise lol, bc it never hurts to try the easy solutions first, but chronic low potassium should’ve shown up? tho eating sweet potatoes has never hurt.

other things it could be is a lower motor neuron problem bc you mentioned twitches and muscle weakness which is typical for those. i def can’t say more without tests, but look into/get your doc to look into myasthenia gravis or LEMS and see if either of those fit. i think it’s possible bc these often also start with face/upper body symptoms, but would need way more questions/tests to know. it’s unlikely but could also be a glycogen storage disease called McArdle disease bc you describe a second wind thing when you exercise along with exercise intolerance. that’s super rare tho so it’s unlikely unless someone in your family has it/has similar symptoms.

also look into autoimmune stuff like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and sjögrens disease. i have way less useful info on that bc we haven’t gotten to it in class yet lol, but sjögrens looks promising bc you often get dry mouth with it, and it often goes along with rheumatoid arthritis which could explain the joint stuff possibly.

it’s also totally possible this is fibromyalgia, but i would be cautious diagnosing it bc it often comes with fatigue and cognitive stuff which you didn’t mention. it’s also more of a pain thing, and doesn’t include your twitches/dry mouth. it’s def possible, and it was def something i thought of when i saw your symptoms, but personally i would want to rule out other stuff first bc fibromyalgia is pretty vague and often a diagnosis of exclusion when other things don’t fit.

sorry for overwhelming you!! i just saw your post and was like hmmm those symptoms sound like Something. again take my advice with a big grain of salt, but i do really think it’s worth asking your doc about it and getting tests done, bc even if there aren’t cures there are def treatments to help with a bunch of this stuff. it doesn’t sound urgent, but at least from your post your symptoms don’t sound like run of the mill aches and pains. hope you figure stuff out!!

The problem with 'muscles don't work right ouchy and I am also tired' is that it's a symptom for Absolutely Everything That Can Be Wrong With The Body. Is it cancer? Is it a terrible diet and sleep schedule? Who knows!

The doctor ran a diabetes test with the blood panel and it came up negative, but I don't know if that checks for weird kinds of diabetes. (Diabetes does not run in my family until we get very old.) That test was memorable because I have stupid fragile veins that freak out and collapse at the mere sight of a needle so I had to get stabbed nine times, they didn't manage to get the middle reading at all, and in the end they resorted to just stabbing my thumb with one of those diabetes home blood test thingies and manually squeezing my blood out into a tube drop by drop.

I looked up polydipsia and I don't think I have that. I think I just prefer my mouth to be wetter than my salival glands want it to be. 🤷‍♀️I think most of my problems are probably not related to any rare chronic disease, but just run-of-the-mill autism making it hard to look after myself or properly notice and process my physical condition and adapt accordingly. I don't eat enough fresh foods because it's hard to plan with the very short timeframe to prepare and eat them in. I'm uncoordinated and damage my body a lot through overwork or using muscles incorrectly because autism makes it hard to keep track of those things. My mouth feels dry and my skin feels itchy and my muscles feel sore because that's what being autistic feels like. My sleep schedule is garbage because my executive function is garbage and even once I do manage to get myself into the bed I can't just "go to sleep", I pass out when I'm ready to pass out.

I'm not saying it's impossible for anything else to be going on, but I think the known factor is the simplest explanation here. It's 2:30pm and I've been putting off breakfast for five hours. Every time I go into the kitchen I get distracted by housework instead. I am very hungry. This is not behaviour that is conducive to a well-functioning body.

[pain-is-too-tired]

You know what, should've done this last month,but heck I'm combining stuff for this month as well so-

Queer and Disabilitiy hcs for PJO characters

(I'll be mostly mentioning physical disabilities, but pretty much all characters are adhd and dyslexic(and ptsd) and will probably add lot as autistic so gdgd.)

Percy

I havnt really thought much on his Sexuality and such, maybe Bi?

Think he at least suffers from some form of asthma/ breathing related disability due to Tarturus. Drinking fire can not be good for your throat,definitely sleep apnea. Maybe back/ muscle problems from strain of holding up the sky? Not sure what that might do to someone tbh hdgd

Annabeth

Same as Percy pretty much, don't think much on her Sexuality and identity before and the same experience in Tarturus and the Sky holding stuff.

Think she also has some what of a permanent injury with her ankle/leg. At least enough to effect how she walks and such.

Also. Autistic, maybe ocd?

Rachel Elizabeth Dare

Aroace. I stand by that.

Also, her visions I feel like could be enough to be considered a disability. Maybe similar to Epilepsy? Since it can happen randomly and she collapses from it and all that. Like yeah it's part of her job description, but still hard to find a human job with that I feel.

Piper

Queer/Unlabeled, pretty much canon.

Leo

Demiromantic Graysexual

Probably some muscle issues and such post death? Or something like Fibromyalgia or Neuropathy

Autistic

Jason

Apagender(Gender Apathetic, just think he really don't care too much on how he's perceived gender wise-) Nebularomanic and Pansexual. Constant confused feeling of "do I like them or are we just really close friends-" feels fitting to him. Gdgdf

Also, canonically needs glasses. I feel probably partly due to getting hit in the head so often fgdf

(Also I could see him with visual snow/ static)

Maybe heart problems related to the use of electricity effecting his body? Like POTS or something hdgd

Also. Autism.

Nico

Gay(canon)

Similar lung problems as Percy and Annabeth cause Tarturus. Probably more issues related to being in a death coma in a jar. When he shadow travels/uses his powers too much he passes out cause of low electrolytes and blood sugar(cue Gatorade and Kitkats)

(most demigod abilities uses your electrolytes and sugar/carbs but powerful ones like shadow traveling where your form literally shifts uses more. In this essay I will-)

Also. ✨️Tism✨️

Will

Bi(canon)

I do love the hard at hearing hcs ngl hdgdf

After tsats,probably has same lung issues.

When using his healing also feel he uses a lot of his own needed electrolytes/vitamins and such which can give him a deficiency depending on how often he's doing it

Also Tism

Kayla

Aroace(I can not explain why if feel this fits but I do)

Type 1 Diabetes. Uses Insulin pump, Will has to stay on her case about keeping up with it fsgdg

Lee

He/They

Panromantic Graysexual

For the short time after, had complications from an injury from the Drakon fight.

Michael

Demi

Tism(especially sensory issues with sounds)

Jake

Queer(canon? We know he came out but nothing else. So you know what? I give him Queer label cause I can and feel like it'd fit him.)

Honestly probably so many problems from injuries. My man was in a full body cast guys.

Tbh, feel like all the Hephaestus cabin is Autistic. Feel in my bones.

[angryschnauzer]

12th November 2023

I know some of you lovely people have been worried and have contacted mutuals to see if there is an update on my husband, so rather than have their inboxes clogged with asks i thought it best to update you whilst i have a spare moment.

Whilst hubby was in Swansea hospital he had an MRI and full body CT scan. The MRI showed a tumour on his frontal lobe that was 3.2cm long. This is classed as a major tumour. They advised that to have it treated in Wales we would have to relocate there and change address, which just wasn't feasible as our 8yo son still needs to go to school and it's better we come back to our home near London.

My Dad very kindly drove all the way to Wales to pick us up and drive us back, i wasnt in any fit state to drive so we had to abandon hubbys car at my MIL's.

Now that we are home we also learned that in hubbys seizures he broke his shoulder bone where the force of his muscles seizing was so strong the tendon ripped the bone in half. He also herniated 3 disks in his back, and has thankfully had osteopathy on those to help them heal.

We are now waiting to be seen by a Neurologist this week. Hubby is 99% likely to have brain surgery to remove the tumour. A biopsy on the tumour will then happen and if its found to be cancerous then he will have chemo and radiotherapy.

He's well in himself, and the short term memory loss/temporary dementia he was showing signs of have now eased thankfully. He's struggling with the broken shoulder as its his dominant arm, and will need surgery to fix it, but due to the severity of the tumour that takes precidence. I'd rather have a one armed living husband than a dead one with a mended arm.

Little Dude is holding up ok. He doesn't know it could be cancer and he doesnt even know what cancer is. We've told him Daddy has a lump in his brain that he will need an operation to remove, and might need some treatment afterwards to make sure it kills off the infection.

Ironically things i have been chasing for little dude medically for months finally got put into place this last week. In addition to his type 1 diabetes, he finally had his Asthma assessment and was confirmed to need an inhaler, and this week coming i finally have an appointment for him to be assessed for ADHD which i have been asking for him for years to be assessed.

So thats the update. I'm trying to stay positive but its a worrying time.

[torturing-characters-101]

How long before a person passes out from low blood sugar do they have symptoms? Also, how would you go about treating low blood sugar if someone passes out?

Depends.

Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) that is bad enough for the person to become unconscious is usually caused by insulin or another medication that treats diabetes.

How long it takes is different depending on how much of the drug they took relative to their tolerance and how fast the drug acts. For example, some insulins begin working in 15 minutes and peak in 30-90 minutes. So someone taking an abnormally large amount of that kind of insulin relative to their blood sugar and not eating could have hypoglycemia symptoms that start less than 15mins before they pass out.

Meanwhile someone who takes an large amount of a long-acting insulin with less of a peak (but, say, doesn't eat at regular intervals throughout the day), might have 45 mins to an hour of symptoms before they pass out.

Not everyone with hypoglycemia will pass out, and most people taking these medications know the warning signs early enough that they can prevent unconsciousness by eating or taking quick-acting glucose.

But if they do become unconscious there are a few rescues available.

In a hospital setting (or in an ambulance) if the person has an IV line, something called "D50" is given. This is a sterile syrup of 50% dextrose, which is a kind of sugar that quickly metabolizes into glucose (the kind of sugar in the blood).

If the person does not have an IV line, another drug can be given as an injection into a muscle. This is called glucagon. Glucagon is a hormone that causes the liver and muscles to dump all their stored sugar into the blood stream. This causes the blood sugar to rise enough to get the person conscious again so they can eat.

Because glucagon only works because there is stored sugar in the muscles and liver, it can only be given twice in any single episode of hypoglycemia. So it's important to get an IV even if the person becomes conscious so D50 can be given if the person needs more sugar and can't take it by mouth.

Both of these work within seconds or minutes.

If the person is in a wilderness or remote setting, there is another, somewhat less effective option. If the person is unconscious and cannot eat, putting them on their side and putting sugar (usually something like black decorator's icing because it fits nicely in a first aid kit and no one wants to eat it if they don't have to) in the lower side of their cheek may work.

It's slow because the mucous membranes don't absorb a lot of sugar quickly, but it's better than the alternative, which is pretty much death.

[jakey-beefed-it]

Went in for a checkup today and got basically all good news- they'll be able to re-issue all my prescriptions so I don't have to get just a month at a time anymore, my blood pressure is pretty good, and I've got a referral for my usual diabetic bloodwork.

Over the past couple years, from my peak weight, I've lost an entire shirt size, my face has gone from bright red and spherical to mostly even colored and ovoid, and I've got a lot more energy for things like walking short distances (like 2 km at the outside). So I really thought I would've lost a significant amount of weight.

But no. I've lost, maybe, 25-30 lbs, like 12 or 13 kg, when I needed to lose almost ten times that much to get down to 'healthy'. Reasoning it through, I've put on a lot of muscle specifically in my legs, having gone from totally sessile computer lump who rarely walks father than the distance to his car to mostly-sessile computer lump who lives on the 3rd floor and has to walk down to the grocery store a few times a week. And as every person who's ever worked out to lose weight has told themselves in a panic, 'muscle weighs more than fat'. Meaning it's more dense, presumably, to avoid whole the 'steel's heavier than feathers' Limmy thing.

So okay. I've gotten healthier, that's the main thing. My blood pressure is looking genuinely good, and while my blood sugar is probably too high still due to being addicted to coffee but unable to drink it without lots of creamer, on the whole, this is good news. I should be happy.

I am not happy.

I feel like a guy who's climbing a mountain through raw determination and teeth-grinding effort, thinking he's at least nearing the halfway mark, turning a bend to realize he's not even where people pitch their goddamn base camps. 'Sisyphean' springs to mind, though aside from putting some weight back on last year when I was back in the US for 6 months, I haven't actually lost much progress, at least. I've just made... so little progress compared to what I thought.

Part of the problem of course is that I'm too fat for regular scales; they're just not rated to deal with someone my size and report 'error' if I'm lucky and they don't just fuckin break. So I had no means of measuring my progress other than 'shirt fits better now' and 'can walk a few blocks without feeling like death now'. And then I got weighed properly for the first time in two years, and, oy vey.

It's not going to change anything, I'm still going to live on the third floor and need to walk around the neighborhood on a fairly regular basis, but man is it discouraging. And before anyone says it, yes, I know it's technically a significant amount of weight for a human to lose, and it's healthier to lose it more slowly over time than all in a rush, and I'm on the right track, but god. I thought I was doing better than this.

Anyhow that's why I'm in a funk tonight, how's by you kind folks?