#depression cw

[bittwitchy]

some new sad girl guy spring dialogue for sebby!

also bonus bc its summer 13 now and i already gave him a bouquet

[youneedsomeprompts]

~ IN A VOID ~ FORESHADOWING DEPRESSION PROMPTS

requested by: @crochet-cafe request: How can I foreshadow or hint that my character has severe depression? I want to make the reveal a big deal when it happens and catch readers off guard

Feel free to use and reblog!

having other characters associate the person's mood with their character traits ("they're always grumpy")

masking their depression really well but being absolutely drained and a lot worse as soon as they're alone

appearing as a 'neutral' person, when their neutral mood actually indicates the emptiness they feel inside

their growing passivity makes them fade into the background

the more excited other people get the more downcast the person becomes (they get perceived as a killjoy)

they don't accept invitations anymore

they always say they're busy but can't answer the question what exactly they're doing

they show no emotional reaction in a fight

everyone says about the person that they have such a hard shell

they usually have been very caring and sensitive to everyone around them but suddenly they seem like they couldn't care less

for more inspiration/how to help: ~ SHOWING SUPPORT FOR SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION ~ WRITING PROMPTS

note: If you or someone you know feels that way and really needs help, please seek professional help <3

[idiopathicsmile]

*crawls out from under a table* listen. i thought i was doing pretty well against seasonal affective disorder this year—making strides, learning new coping mechanisms, internalizing strategies—but it turns out what i was actually doing was enjoying the benefits of an unseasonable sunny spell. now where i live it is cloudy and dark and it has been unremittingly cloudy and dark for days on end and i have forgotten the feeling of natural light on my skin. my brain is missing an ingredient. my soul itself has rickets. is it possible to apply fish oil directly to the personality? can you shine a light therapy lamp bright enough to reach my shriveling heart? it is so dark outside. it is so dark. i can feel myself starting to transform into a goddamn tim burton character. fucking feed me to that weird snake creature from beetlejuice. not in a vore way.

[galedekarios]

also re: the last gale art i reblogged

when i have the spoons to do so, i'd also very much like to talk about gale and depression and him being high functioning. it's an extremely heavy topic, but i think it's one of those things - if not the thing - that resonated the most with me on a personal level while experiencing his story for the first time, and it still does now almost a year later.

his isolation, his deep loneliness, gale using his magic to create an escape for his mind when he felt there was none for his body and withdrawing from the circumstances surrounding him as much as he was still able to, while still feeling mystra's disappointment echoing through the weave the moment he tapped into it - which is something that we know from his origin playthrough hurts him more than anything else (in that case it's related to elminster, but i think we can draw the conclusion here as well).

gale's social circle slowly withering away, one by one, until it's not a circle anymore, but a pinhead. enough to only include tara now. and even with tara, we know he's expecting to become too much of a burden, too much of a hassle ("i feared she had abandoned me." he says in act 3, after his long time away). he's waiting for the other shoe to drop even with his own familiar. i'm sure he wished to have her by his side even when he rationally knew that she had to leave to find a cure - or to at least find means to stave off his condition. he fekt he couldn't burden the only immediate family he still has left: morena. afraid of shaming her, afraid of burdening her, afraid of putting her in danger.

despite all that, he manages to leave waterdeep, to seek a cure for himself, or at the least not present a danger to thousands of people around him, once he recognised he was no longer able to treat his condition.

and when we meet him there is almost no immediate trace of all that, he masks it with smiles and politeness and humour. he's friendly. affable. unflappable. he cooks, he fights, he reads, he's well kept, despite tara's nagging about eating regularly in gale's origin playthrough. you'd never know. you only get a sense of melancholy sometimes (his first camp scene, staring into the fire, unsure of what the tadpole means for him and, more importantly, the orb), when it's all too much and he hasn't calmed himself yet, hasn't quieted his mind fully ("i need to retrace my steps to a glade of calm and think").

what a difference a day makes.

(still, he's opening himself up a bit again, re-learning to live again, travelling with people he may have not met otherwise, some of whom have become his friends. it feels good to chat, it feels good to tell stories, to share knowledge and meals, and to not be alone.)

and even when it all comes crashing down around him in act 2, he receives mystra's orders with quiet acceptance and a smile. he thanks elminster. he's glad it was him. he deflects your concern and doesn't engage with the deeper meaning of what it means to do as he was asked. oh you know him, don't you. he's an optimist. it's all not so bad. at least his death will have meaning. at least he'll have forgiveness.

it's only much later that he lets himself acknowledge how scared truly is. terrified, he says. and even then, he marches on.

anyhow, excuse my disjointed rambling, i just have a lot of thoughts about it all.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen

Hey Lovely 💜🖤

I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.

Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.

TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.

I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.

Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.

It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.

On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.

I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.

Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.

And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.

Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.

Some positivity though:

I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.

I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.

And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.

I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.

Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.

[dank-meme-my-gf-sends-me]

[coriander-candlesticks]

Sometimes your Mental Illness™ is kicking your ass and all you can do is offer the first hot, non-leftover meal you managed to prep in the day at 10:30 pm to Apollo & ask for help getting to *and* getting through your appointment tomorrow and that's okay

[estrel]

genuinely some of the best things you can do if you are depressed/have anxiety/are neurodivergent:

buy some plants (I do not mean succulents)

get a pet

you will have to get out of your dark depressing bedroom because you have to water those living things in your living room. caring for something can help you care for yourself. also, play them some music they like that

[hauntedtrait]

lots happening in the scott-price household this week, azure also started a round of meds to help her out of this funk, she'll be ok <3

transcript

1st panel: [Purple Notification] Pee On Caregiver Milestone Unlocked! Find cover! Kamal accidentally peed while getting his diaper changed! No promises on this repeating, but for now, it's probably a good idea to take a shower. 3rd panel: Sad +5 Moodlet Feeling Blue (From Postpartum Depression) Azure feels so alone. Everyone seems to be taking all the changes in stride, but she is really struggling... [Menu Bubble] Go To Therapy

4th panel: Quirk Revealed: Early Riser Kamal prefers to rise with the sun. Infants with the Early Riser quirk are more likely to wake up when the sun comes up.

5th panel: [Purple Notification] What's that? Kamal started moving his little arms to reach for nearby objects. Now that he can ask for toys and play with the playmat, Kamal can learn to adeptly use his fingers!

[hexsreality]

OOC.

My application for graduate school got rejected, I’m so bummed out.

[mx-werebat]

This is probably going to be a long post and delves into mental health issues. Trigger and content tags will be applied but I'm putting this under a "read more". Please bear with me.

I think I'm tired of believing that I'm constantly intimidating my mutuals, or being a nuisance. I constantly tend to believe that the reason I don't usually get mentioned in posts is, for some God forsaken reason, I come off as a bitch when I ask not to be tagged in certain things. It makes me sad, I'd like to be tagged in silly little posts as long as they don't fo against my boundaries.

Ever since the.. Incident on my sideblog, I've always felt nervous or on edge here. I fear something's going to happen again, my paranoia constantly gnawing at me. I've considered taking a break from Tumblr, but truthfully, it's my only form of socialization. I cannot go outside and talk to others, I live in a rural area, and I feel much less safe on apps like TikTok, Instagram, and Discord. Tumblr is my go-to with talking to others, but as of late I've felt so unsafe and unwanted that it's actually effecting my mental health.

I just want to be able to interact with my mutuals and make little posts. I don't want to constantly believe that I'm doing the wrong thing, wondering why anyone is still following this blog, or having constant fits of crying because I feel like I've fucked everything up.

I'll admit this now. I love attention, I constantly crave attention, and a lot of my posts are me begging for attention, whether subtly or very, very bluntly. It's why I ask for asks in my inbox a lot, it's why I constantly try to interact with others. This isn't a trait of mine that I like, at all. I always feel lonely, I've never had an explanation for my thought processes or why I do any of this. I'm surprised that anyone actually puts up with my shit because truthfully, I've lost multiple friends due to my behaviors. And I want to work on them, but when I'm so emotionally distressed, especially with everything going on in my life right now that I just don't talk about here, the problems are starting to pile up and I'm doing everything as an escape, like my brain is desperately pulling at strings.

I just want this to cease. Not in a.. Depressive way but, I just want to be normal, not a whiny, sniveling brat who constantly begs for attention and gets mad when I don't get it.

I'm just sorry. To anyone reading this, I am very, fucking sorry you have to put up with my shit.

[youneedsomeprompts]

~ SHOWING SUPPORT FOR SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION ~ WRITING PROMPTS

requested by: anonymous

Feel free to use and reblog!

offering hugs

helping them with simple life tasks without judging

bringing them food they like

"I'm here for you."

trying to give them as much comfort as they can

telling them stories from the outside world to distract them

accepting that not every attempt to help actually does something for the other

just sitting in silence with them & being there

"Do you want to talk?" "No." "It's alright."

wrapping them up in a blanket

reading to them

talking them into going out into the green for recreation

being patient

not having expectations but being happy about every sign of recovery

making sure that they're staying hydrated enough

"I made this for you."

showing them they're happy to see them even if the other isn't in a great state ("I love you regardless")

gentle gestures of affection (brushing through their hair, caressing, etc.)

giving them soft smiles

holding them when they need to cry

note: I'm not a professional, and this is not a list of perfect ways to help a depressed person but a list of ways people would maybe try to help. If you or someone you know really needs help, please seek professional help <3

[galedekarios]

that interview is driving me insane i've been thinking about it for the past hour and i still can't wrap my head around it. i think what really gets under my skin is it just... contradicts with the text of the game. the most positive possible reading of the ending where gale blows himself up is that it was an unavoidable tragedy dictated by fate but even that's a stretch. to say it's a good ending?? or a satisfying conclusion to his arc?? i call bull. it's more infuriating because there is such a clear good ending for gale's character arc and it's the professor ending! his arc was about learning to accept himself as he was, to value who he is as he is flaws and all, and he's done that in the professor ending! and the god of ambition ending is a bad end for him but still ties into his overall arc in a satisfying if sad way (imo). the ending where he dies just... doesn't. which is fine as a tragedy but to imply it isn't exactly that, a tragedy, is wild to me. and it being so blatantly contradictory to the actual events of the game makes me think that whole thing was just catering to people who hate gale which like... why? people who don't like him don't care about his story so why pander to them like this?

uhg. i am sorry for blowing up your inbox like this i just feel like i'm gonna rip my hair out and need to express that to a fellow gale appreciator. i love gale's epilogue SO MUCH it made me feel for a bit like maybe the writers had actually changed how they felt about him but. nope! silly of me to hope for that. wish i could memory wipe that whole interview from my brain dark urge style.

don't be sorry at all! 🖤 i feel the same way in a lot of ways. altho i feel the need to mention that gale's writer, jan van dosselaer, was not involved in this interview.

i started to make a meta post about this yesterday, but reading things like this from gale:

act ii [after elminster] Player: An old man with a craving for cheese. Hardly the great wizard of legend. Gale: A wizard doesn't reach Elminster's age without enjoying their home comforts. Those who seek danger over cheese don't tend to live as long. Gale: For Mystra to have sent him... The severity of her bidding could not be clearer. Or weigh more heavily on me. devnote: reflecting on mystra sending elminster, of all people - a powerful individual, becoming reflective. Gale: Time seems so infinite when you are young... a month is an age, a year is a lifetime... it is a strange feeling, to realise how little of it one might have left. Player: You're seriously considering doing what Elminster said?   Gale: Of course - he offered the clearest solution to our problem. All I have to do is find the right place and time, close my eyes, and let go... devnote: Trying to sound upbeat, not fully engaging with what he's saying (that he's going to kill himself). Gale: Then the slate will be clean, wrongs will be righted, the Absolute will be gone... devnote: Trying to sound upbeat, not fully engaging with what he's saying (that he's going to kill himself). Gale: ...and I along with it. devnote: Still trying to sound upbeat, though this time the reality that this means he will die weighs a bit heavier

and:

act ii [act ii romance scene] Gale: I am terrified - I will not claim otherwise. My face could scarcely conceal it even if my words sought to deny it. nodecontext: Hushed, vulnerable Gale: There is no point in running from the inevitable. Better to meet it, on my own terms. nodecontext: Resigned

as well as this:

act ii [act ii friendship version] Gale: Yes... but there is so much to live for, and so few moments in which to house it all. Gale: Damn you. Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures... this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn't. Gale: If there is a way - any way - to save all that's grown dear to me, I want to seize it. I just cannot fathom what that might be, other than to fail Mystra and condemn the world. Gale: Stay with me, will you? I don't want to think of it any more, but I don't want to be alone either.

act iii [before the netherbrain] Player: Gale... I think we should consider using the orb as Mystra intended. To blow up the Netherbrain. Gale: I'm getting rather tired of how often those I care about seem to reach the same conclusion.

when you have this:

and i just... couldn't finish the meta.

it's absolutely beyond comprehension for me how anyone could try to frame this as an ending that is the right one in "many ways", as the "guy who starts off annoying everyone", eating your "most priced possessions", having to "give back to the world".

for the founder of the company to say he wasn't "ready" the "first time", but he's finally "ready" now.

gale's death isn't only unnecessary, an instruction given to him by his former mentor on the behalf of a goddess, who would've sacrificed not only him but thousands of others to achieve her own goals, he doesn't want to die. he's terrified. he wants to live. he is offering this because he believes that his time has run out. because he wants his death to have purpose if it must happen. because he feels he made a mistake far bigger than he can ever make up for. because he doesn't want others to waste their chance at life like he feels he has. the will he leaves behind in the epilogue if he sacrifices himself isn't finished because he thought there would be more time. i could go on and on.

and again, the question is too... for what exactly does he need to "give back to the world"?

being perceived as annoying after coming out of what is presented as isolation and depression? asking for help with a now chronic impairment that feeds on his very soul and wreaks havoc on his body? for making a mistake? by that logic every companion deserves the same fate.

which brings me to the contrast to how most of the other companions are framed in this interview: k*rlach, "the labrador of the party". l*e'zel, "she's so young". ast*rion, "much of what he does it out of fear". sh*dowheart, "the jason bourne" and "victim of religous trauma". w*ll, "the true baldur's gate hero".

the difference is staggering. there's empathy here. there's at least a surface level understanding and/or appreciation of the characters there.

...and then you have gale.

it's alienating and disappointing to see devs have so little respect and care for their own character, as well as for the parts of their fandom who have grown attached to the character exactly for the strengths and flaws he has, for the struggles he faces and for the healing journey he can have if he is helped and lives.

[edandstede]

pretty sure i’m having a relapse into depression after several years in recovery and it really fucking sucks. like while you’re in it it’s the new norm but once you’ve been out of it for a long time? how the FUCK did i live like this?

[stardropsandrain]

Bucky w/ a partner with depression

Tw!!; Depression, medication mentions, and therapy mentions

Please do enjoy

Depression keeps you tired. It's hard to find motivation. Bucky constantly tries to help, but know when to back away and leave you be

Bucky won't help you if you refuse to help yourself. Bucky is a man who's done enough healing, who has gone through too much, to have to heal someone else

Bucky makes sure you attend your therapy appointments, even if you don't want to go. He helps you get dressed before driving you there, if you don't want to drive. He sends you off with a kiss on the forehead before heading off to buy groceries

Bucky helps you keep a schedule without pushing you too far. He makes sure you wake up before certain times, so you can have plenty of time to work but also relax. He reminds you to take your medicine and eat

He loves holding you. When the world seems so tired and boring and nothing really feels worth it, he holds you. He puts on a show and rubs little circles into your thighs as you cuddle, reminding you, "small moments like this are to live for. You don't always need something huge, like a deadline or grand scheme to justify living"

He helps you catch bad habits you may have. He'll call them out to remind you to stop, but he isn't your father. He won't do it every time. He helps you become self-reliant and work on those bad, destructive habits

Bucky tends to keep his spaces clean, but not to clean. If it's barren, it reminds him of the four walls that kept him locked away for so long. It will trigger a panic attack. So, while not barren, but dislikes messy places. The clutter overwhelms and short wires his brain, so he helps you clean however you need

On days when things are bad, you barely want to talk or interact with even Bucky. He'll get you outside. It was recommended by your therapist. He'll take you outside and you'll go to the park. Watch life around you and take in the scenery and environment. He'll hold your hand and point out small things along the way, encouraging you to do the same. Soon, it will become a cute I spy game

Happy food. Bucky loves to experiment in the kitchen, learning new foods. He loves to cook your happy foods whenever you need them. He tries to help regulate your eating so you don't binge or the opposite without being overbearing

Bucky loves you. You know a lot about each other. You've helped each other. Bucky will never forget what you've done for him to help him heal, and he will always help you with your journey

A/N; Bucky healing is my Roman empire

Good riddance and stay safe 🖤🖤🖤

[xluciifer]

Why do you focus heavy on Lucifer's depression?

The answer is simple.

Because it's a key core element to his character. You can't just have him as the silly, comic relief guy who's Sad™ and tries to be a Good Dad™.

Depression bears its ugly teeth like glass fragments on the floor from a shattered mirror. It's easier to tell yourself you're not than to accept the fact that you are. Lucifer is a hypocrite. He's far from innocent and kind. He's fully embodied the devil side to himself, long forgetting what he once was as an angel. You get too saturated into the part you play and gaslight yourself into thinking it's the reality. He believes it. This is who he is and always has been.

But isn't that how a devil should be? Handsome, a gentleman, a facade of kindness? Lures you in to EAT YOU UP?

The lines begin to blur of who you are and who you once were; depression is a heavy burden to bear if you have to carry the load by yourself with a non-existent support system. And maybe through the Sins, he could've had one. But depression speaks of cruelty in the ears of the believer. The people who you love and care about: don't care about you. So why should you care too?

Does this mean it's factual? No. But it isolates you; creating a false narrative that you start to believe. Lucifer hates himself, hates the person he's become and he doesn't know what to do about it or how to change it. He was never shown, never taught. Only expected. So he submits, copes, wears the very mask he resents sinners wearing.

And though his hate for himself rings strong, he'll always see himself better and above those who actually deserve to be in Hell.

Once he opens up, once he allows people into the cage he's locked himself inside and allow his facade to shatter, will he finally take the steps in the right direction to finding himself again.