#dc gotham city

[timblrdrake]

GOTHAM CITY PSA: PLEASE stop letting your cats out at night

i just saw Red Robin get mauled by a tabby on fear toxin they really do NOT like the birds

[actuallyredrobin]

okay, because this is a problem every year, he’s a GOTHAM CITY PSA:

DONT dress up as a rogue for halloween. i know their costumes are cool and it’s edgy or whatever but this will put you at risk of being mistaken for them

IF you’re going to dress up as a vigilante or hero, (flattering but inadvisable) i’d suggest not wearing the mask if your costume is particularly convincing- again, so you don’t get mistaken for the real deal

[violent138]

While I'm sure bad guys in Gotham have learned over time that the Bats don't kill, that even after bashing your teeth in they'll flag down an ambulance or dump you unceremoniously at the ER, it's still a shaky trust.

One that is easily shaken seeing a child wielding a sword in the dead of night; nobody wants to learn how that is handled nonlethally. Or bad guys just surrendering one late night after running into an alley and Nightwing's standing over their unconscious buddy, holding the gun he wrestled away. They watch Red Hood break into the place they're robbing with a crowbar in hand and just decide they'd rather not chance it. They see a shadow that could be Black Bat and-- you get it.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

idk if someone has already made this post but. imagine gotham upholding bruce wayne as an example of "you can have a tragic backstory and not start doing weird superhero/villain crap" and he just has to Deal with it

[melonlthawne]

Dont come to New Jersey. Just don’t.

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[bat-stuff]

At a charity ball:

Socialite: So Bruce, how has Damian been warming up to the household?

Bruce: He’s been great. Damian is such a caring kid–

Damian, appearing out of nowhere: Father. Three decomposing hags had the audacity to caress my face.

[starspilli]

catwoman 🐈‍⬛

[leafsheep]

Some random thoughts about Gothamites and scenarios I’ve come up with.

Metropolis citizen: Yeah so my exams were cancelled bc some villain took over the city the week leading up to them so the school said not to worry about it.

Gothamite: Fr? Last time a villain took over our city he killed anyone who wasn’t smart and had us take extra exams.

~~

Random Gotham kid: Hey teach, can I get an extension on my essay, my neighborhood was fear toxin-ed a few days ago and I’m just getting out of the hospital.

Standard Gotham High School Teacher: ohhh yeah…. Nooooo… sorry Jimmy but you know you had a week to do the assignment soo… you should’ve planned ahead.

~~

Health/PE teacher: Yeah so I don’t really wanna teach y’all today so we’re gonna watch this top ten video of Riddler’s shittiest riddles.

Student: after can we watch this compilation I found of the murder Robin interacting with stray cats?

~~

A Wayne kid just walking down the street

Gothamite: Can you give your dad this?

Wayne child: ??? This is a phone number.

Gothamite: Yeah, maybe you could talk me up too?

Wayne child: You’re MY age

Gothamite: Why does that matter?

Wayne Child: evident disgust

Gothamite: OH no, I want him to adopt me.

Gothamite: he’s our dad now.

~~

Gothamite: Did you hear that bizarre theory about the Robins being clones of each other? I mean wasn’t one of them a girl? How would that even work??

Bernard Dowd (made said theory for shits and giggles, also knows it’s complete bullshit): Maybe that clone was trans! Are you being transphobic right now? God I can’t believe you-

~~

Reporter: Video feed shows the infamous Red Hood standing bewildered next to his motorcycle at four am this morning, having apparently found it missing his tires. Eyewitnesses to the scene report Bludhaven Vigilante laughing outside of camera view.

[timblrdrake]

*french accent* ah, gotham, zé béàutiful city of fights

[rad-batson]

I’m like 99% sure the Gotham Elite’s social customs are fucked up because Autism-in-Human-Form Bruce Wayne was just so fucking tired of high society’s weird and incomprehensible (and frankly ableist) social etiquette that he went full Virgin Mary About-to-Invent-a-Major-World-Religion, said “oh haven’t you heard?” and just started making his own random social rules. Like who’s going to stop him? The other elites? The dinosaur CEO’s? He’s richer. He hosts the better parties. He could tank your business in a weekend. So when he says “Weird passive aggressive fork language is out. Having a different utensil for every different food texture is in,” you use a different utensil for every food texture. Now when foreign elites visit Gotham, they have to learn a completely new set of social customs to fit in. It’s like a cult, but the cult is run by the most influential man in the world and Gotham’s personal Jesus. The followers are more likely than not mafia bosses named after a bird. You will be judged. There’s a test. Yes, you do get brownie points for being nice to the servers. For the love of god, stop making so much eye contact. The cloth napkins are folded into little ducks. Welcome to Gotham.

[catpriciousmarjara]

Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!

Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.

So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.

What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.

I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:

"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"

"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"

"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"

"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"

And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.

Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.

Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.

Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.

Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)

Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.

Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.

Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.

And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.

God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.

[stealingyourbones]

There’s a new drug in Gotham making the rounds, one synthesized by Two-Face’s people; if you take it you will have a 50/50 chance that you’ll experience the greatest high of your life or that you’ll die.

Batman is desperately trying to find the main lab and cut off the production from the source and hasn’t been able to find a lead in weeks.

That’s when Gordon gives him a file that was given to him by a “white haired ghost kid”. It’s a detailed report written similarly to a scientific journal with detailed sources that are mainly first hand accounts from deceased victims of the Two-Face drug.

At the very end of the paper there’s an address to a Gotham University dorm room with a sticky note next to it that says “if you need help with death or the undead. Yours truly; Danny Fenton.”

[fawcetttweets]

AITA?

Billy being the guardian of the Rock of Eternity which holds many of the most evil creatures in the world like the seven deadly sins is hilarious to me. Probably not canon but in this au every few years he meets up with the other beings who watch over a bunch of dangerous sinners. They use the meetings to share any strategies or mishaps so they can help each other be more efficient but since they’ve all been around for thousands of years minimum, they’ve pretty much optimized their systems so they spend most of the time gossiping and hanging out lol.

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[nefarious-616-necromancer]