#cw drugging a child

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

“Though I haven’t slept in two days" Terrance to whoever's up

I Couldn't Find The Meme This Was From Oops

[ Terrance ]

[ Firkle ]

"Two days, huh?"

Pursing his purple-stained lips, Firkle rested his chin in his palms, his elbows resting on his knees. Sitting on the table part of the picnic table at the park, he considered the other for a long moment.

"Are you meaning to or can you just not sleep? I heard you have that kid with the baby living with you. If they keep you awake you could always get some whiskey for the kid."

Okay, maybe it was bad advice.

"Or spike their juice with Nyquil."

Worse advice, probably.

[sirianasims]

The Don Diaries

Dani the Nanny is finally putting her foot down and telling Don to stop with all the reefer madness around his child. Good job, Dani!

Don will just have to make do with amphetamines only for his rage-and-amphetamine-fueled nightly coding.

At least he still has Herbert for emotional support and dust management.

Speak your truth, Gracie's roomie that he once had a threesome with.

Dani the Nanny is right though, and Don realises he needs to make more of an effort to introduce some stability in his life, for both his own and Matteo's sake.

He does a quick 76 laps to burn off most of the amphetamine and calls up his crush, Shayla from the romance festival.

They go out for brunch, pancakes and mimosas, like a real couple. See, Don? You could have a nice, normal life like this. Without all the drugs and strippers.

A normal life. Don has to admit it sounds nice. (Ignore the wall child, please.)

Shayla is clearly into him, and our careful probing has already revealed that she might be willing to try an open relationship, in case he can't control his dick himself.

Still, Don wants to be absolutely sure that Shayla is the one, so a few more dates are in order.

On their second date, Don gives me a fucking heart attack (and possibly disappoints Shayla deeply) by deciding to have a conversation about the weather while kneeling.

This fucking guy, I swear.

For their third date, Don pulls out all the stops and takes Shayla to Mt. Komorebi in the hopes that the hot springs might help him seal the deal and convince her to give him a chance.

After the springs, they cozy up in front of the fire. This is the moment.

Well, so much for that.

Pizza before tech bros, amirite Shayla?

Not even this sharp-dressed gentleman can salvage that disaster, and Don and Shayla agree to just be friends as they travel back to San Myshuno.

Don arrives home to Dani the Nanny who's crying in bed, no reason don't worry about it ok she's fine.

He even manages to spend some quality time with Matteo for once, while Dani prepares for her finals. Team work!

Dani is still the cutest, and Don is still totally oblivious to the way she blushes whenever he's nearby.

After all, he's busy inviting over Chantel, the very generous stripper with the huge bazongas.

This is not at all going to plan.

Bob, this is your final warning. Get this shit back on track or you're sushi!

[venusandsaturnsrings]

sigh… i need to talk more about frat boy taru, he’s plaguing my mind…

he’s a nasty sleaze not above drugging you to get his way. star of the football team, top grades in all his classes, a slew of students and professors alike wrapped around his fingers, and yet he’s enamoured with you. perhaps it’s the dichotomy between yourself in him. a slightly egocentric and manipulative sinner wrapped in a pretty package of false smiles, teasing fingers, and suave comments versus your own doe eyes, bashful nature, and innocently dense disposition. his cock throbs at the mere thought of imbuing you with his own degeneracy. make no mistake, the whispers of his vile nature are true, but he’s got a soft spot for you. give him what he wants, no needs, and you’ll have the world in your soft palms. maybe you just need a little push, a bit of sabotage here and a dash of nauseatingly sweet touches there and you’ll be his.

[chloroformcurry]

Two Magdalenas for Mexican Independence Day, and two older more grim images of her when she was little + her felon twin brother

[billybigbang2024]

The Billy Big Bang (banner courtesy of @alicetallula) posting season begins on November 1st and Team #1 will be posting through November 21st! The artwork will be completed by @dirtbagdefender and the fic is by @lorifragolina / TheMadcapLaughs, and beta read by @talanashta! We're ready to tear into their collaboration pieces and hope after seeing below you are too!

Fic Title: Bite the Bullet, Billy

Rating:  Explicit

Warnings:  No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships:  Steve/Billy, Billy & Max

Characters:   Billy, Steve, Max, Billy's parents, Billy's dog, OC

Additional Tags:  Use of drugs, use of alcohol, depression, medical and hospital, cops, domestic abuse, suicidal thoughts, child neglect, searching of true love.

Length: 45k-50k

Summary:

Billy's Hargrove life had never been easy. His family was condemned since before his birth, and he had to learn how to survive alone, without support or love.

He is alone, tough and bitchy until Starcourt Battle; he sacrifices himself for the people of his life and they promise they won't let him alone in the hospital.

But they fail him: he waits and waits, alone, with no sympathy in the hospital, and when he searches for the support of his family, they push him away.

Now Billy is alone, sad, he hits the bottom... until a weird, red-head friend saves him. 

He reforms his life, trying to forget Hawkins and people who let him down, but one day, an unexpected, well-known face knocks at his door, turning his world upside-down...

[paingoes]

Destroyer - Check Up

(Masterlist)

long time no simon

(Content: abuse apologism, non-sexual nudity, child abuse mention, child death mention, drug mention, insensitivity around addiction, brief weight mention)

=======================

“Follow the light,” Dr.Martino turned the flash on. Delta traced its path with his eyes. He blinked out the afterimage against his eyelids. He jumped a little as the doctor pulled his hair back, tying it up in a loose knot for him.

“Stand.”

Delta got up from the table. It was a fairly standard routine at this point; he didn’t need to be told what to do. Except — he didn’t understand why Simon was there. The scientist was leaning back against the bookshelf, not saying anything. Delta felt a little tug of embarrassment as he pulled his shirt up over his head. He didn’t want Simon to see all of it. 

Delta wouldn’t dare hesitate around Dr.Martino, though. Martino knew he wouldn’t. He had known him the longest and was least likely to play games with him. He shrugged the shirt off, folding it neatly onto the table. He removed the loose fabric of his pants until he was standing mostly nude within the cold office. It would have been typical, almost boring — if not for the fact Simon was there, if not for the litany of bruises marked out on his body. 

He was ashamed of it. Dr.Martino’s gloved hand traced gently against the bruises. Some of their shapes were still imprinted clearly onto the flesh. A cable, a ring, a ruler. Not all of it was deserved, even Delta knew that. Paris had gotten out of control. But there was enough of it that he felt he had earned and it made him distressed to have the marks of his own failures so visible against his body. He didn’t want Simon to see it. 

Dr.Martino did some quick measurements. Delta was sure he’d lost weight recently, mostly from stress. The doctor examined the faint scarring around his neck, the afterburns of his own powers nearly frying the collar. 

He dimmed the lights. The soft pale glow of the X-ray equipment stood out against their dark surroundings. Martino guided him into one of the machines, instructing him to stay still. He did so. It moved with a soft mechanical whirr, maneuvering its parts deftly around his frame. 

“You can go,” Dr.Martino switched the machine off.

“Yes, sir,” Delta nodded, stepping outside of its confines. He pulled his clothes back on quickly, left his hair tied up. He exited without looking at either of them.

Dr.Martino carded through the X-rays, putting them all atop the table light. Simon shifted slightly.

“He’s been pretty banged up recently, hm?” He said.

“The psionics are designed to work under high stress. They can take a lot of abuse.” Dr.Martino shrugged.

“You don’t think Paris has a problem?”

“Paris has plenty of problems.” He scoffed. “Christ, I’m glad I never had a son.”

Simon still looked uneasy. Martino sighed, putting the papers down.

“You’re giving him more sympathy than he deserves. That kid is a menace. He always has been.”

“You really think so?” Simon’s voice was surprised, but not judgemental, “He’s always been so good for me.”

“I don't like sneaky. None of the actual good kids made it out of the institute. I used to have favorites, you know. Turns out the ones with an actual conscience don’t fare so well when it's time to drop the bomb. Nine times out of ten, he was the one they sent to deal with them.”

“You’re joking,” Simon balked, “I didn’t know they killed the rejects.”

“Oh, not all of them. A lot of them did get rehomed when they burnt out. But the hostile, powerful ones had to be destroyed. There was this one girl Stella — super nice kid. But when they tried to make her kill the animals, she’d freak out, start getting all mad. Ended up injuring all her handlers. So they sent Delta in. Crushed her like an insect. No hesitation. No emotion at all.”

He paused. “Of course, that’s what they were looking for. That’s why you have to treat him like an object. If he starts to value his own feelings, it all falls apart.”

The silence hung in the air. Simon glanced out the port window. 

“Sometimes I remember the last person in my position blew their brains out,” He says.

Dr.Martino laughed. It had caught him off-guard. Simon smiled, but it looked more like a grimace.

“I still think Paris is being too rough with him. It’s against his own interest.”

“His Highness is a fucking junkie. He doesn’t know his own interests.”

“That’s what I’m saying. He needs help.”

“Are you going to say something to him then?”

Simon didn’t answer, readjusting his cuffs with no real sense of urgency.

[fernsnailz]

i love reading your sonic loreposts i was wondering if you could please explain archie charmy to me, i have heard stuff and i am so curious but i am not a comics in general kinda person. the lsd poisoned friend or the brain damage literally just anything that happens to him your pick

hi anon i’m just going to go over everything that happens to archie charmy pre-reboot so i hopefully never have to talk about it after this. i'm sorry i'm so so sorry

Archie Charmy is subject to a lot of controversy and discussion because despite his limited role in the comics, he goes through some of the most batshit insane character and plot beats in the whole series (and that you’ve already mentioned). I’ll be skimming over some of the more boring parts, but the wild stuff I'll go pretty in-depth with.

I’ll also be attempting to explain WHY all of this happens to Charmy Bee of all characters, taking into account the context of the story, what was happening behind the scenes in the writer’s room, and even comic trends in general. I want to try and keep away from the very reactionary “wow archie sonic is sooooo crazy” discussion that happens around this stuff and hopefully provide a little more useful analysis. i talk about comic PSAs for a while so be warned

There are some very, very important content warnings that are coming with Archie Charmy lore: warning for non-consensual drug use and overdose (specifically LSD), child death, genocide, implied ableism, memory loss, implied age regression, breif homophobia mention (not related to charmy)

this is going to be a very long one. charmy lore under the cut

INTRODUCTION - CHAOTIX

Charmy Bee’s first appearance in Archie Sonic is in the Knuckles’ Chaotix special, which adapts the first game he appeared in. This issue introduces the entire Chaotix cast (six new characters) in a mere four pages, so Charmy doesn’t make much of an impression other than “bee who likes to explore and adventure.” He lacks that annoying little brother personality that he has in most Sonic media, and he’ll often speak with language that feels extremely out of character for the Charmy that most people know.

This is because this version of Charmy is based off of his character description from the Knuckles’ Chaotix game manual. Despite the series being based off of the video game franchise, the Archie Sonic writers were often given very little information about upcoming game releases from SEGA when they were asked to adapt them into the comics. Often they had to go digging for the canonical materials themselves - for example, the only way they were able to adapt Sonic Adventure into the comics is because Patrick Spaziante (one of the comic’s artists) had a Japanese version of the game that he bought himself. They had no English translation and zero guidance from SEGA, so they had to attempt to piece the story together without SEGA's help. This was the case with most of the game adaptations, and it was honestly a miracle that they had access to the manual for Knuckles’ Chaotix at all.

There’s just one problem: the manual for Knuckles’ Chaotix describes a version of Charmy that is very, very different from the one we know of today. It describes a 16-year old that is… sophisticated?

(sorry for the low quality, there aren't many images of the manual. also fun fact, there was no age for Charmy listed in the original Japanese manual)

Charmy's differing age and personality will lead to many, many problems, as the writers decided to give the “sophisticated” Charmy darker stories. This brings us to the Knuckles the Echidna mini-series.

The Knuckles mini-series is. Bad. Charmy Bee is certainly there for the first few issues (as are most of the Chaotix), but he doesn’t get much focus until issue 13.

I don’t know how to put this in a way that doesn’t sound extremely blunt: This is the issue where Charmy’s best friend overdoses on LSD and dies.

PART 1 - MELLO

Charmy's best friend is named Mello Bee. This is his first and last appearance in the series.

Mello started feeling strange on their return trip from Happyland, a sketchy theme park that recently reopened under new management. Charmy isn't sure why Mello died, but Constable Reminton (essentially the sheriff of Echidnopolis) reveals that there have been a series of cases similar to Mello's - cases where people were suffering from… Lemon Sundrop Dandelion poisoning.

The Chaotix go to Happyland to see if they can find the source of the poisoning, but what they don't know is that it's actually laced into the food. The manager of Happyland, Renfield T. Rodent, has been lacing the park's chili dogs with LSD in hopes of making everyone addicted to them. However, the amount of LSD he's been putting into the food is too much for most people to handle. This is probably the most insane paragraph I've had to write for one of these loreposts

Unknown to the Chaotix, they all start eating the chili dogs during their investigation (except for Julie-Su and Knuckles, who is absent) and start tripping balls.

Continuing the story into issue 14, Charmy’s LSD trip reveals that he’s actually the prince of a bee colony and has been running away from his responsibilities as a member of the royal family.

Charmy is knocked out for the rest of this arc as he goes through his trip - they have to operate on him and some other stuff happens I guess (Julie-Su gets thrown off of a roof, Knuckles fights some guys in a desert, Vector is a misogynist, stuff like that). At the end of issue 15, Charmy learns from his trip and returns to his family, temporarily leaving the Chaotix to return to his royal duties. Mello's family and his all mourn Mello's death and bury him back at their home.

So. What was the fucking point of all that

In the long-term, Charmy returning home to his family essentially writes him out of the story for a while. Knuckles the Echidna issue 15 released in 1998, and Charmy doesn't really return until 2001. While I'm not entirely sure what the reason for this was, there were so many members of the Chaotix that I honestly think this was an okay decision.

However, there's one very important question left to answer: Why was LSD and a drug overdose included in this arc at all?

When I first read this arc, I had a burning thought that I couldn't get out of my mind:

PART 1.5 - wait is this an anti-drug PSA?

(if you want to avoid me talking in-depth about the abilities of LSD and my ramble about comic PSAs for a while, you can skip to PART 2 where I continue the Charmy lore)

Comic PSAs (Public Service Announcements) and propaganda are a fundamental part of the medium’s history, whether it be to aid their country’s war efforts, give health information to their readers, or warn kids about the dangers of drug abuse. While a comic being used as a PSA isn’t inherently a bad thing, it’s usually VERY obvious. One of the most interesting ones I've found is a PSA that features Green Lantern debunking misinformation about the AIDS crisis. The image quality isn’t great, but the comic doesn’t hold back when talking about how the AIDS crisis is spreading homophobic ideology - if you read this, you know it’s a PSA and you know what message it’s trying to send. Sometimes propaganda can be subtle, but PSAs are usually loud.

(cw: homophobia)

This is why anti-drug PSAs are so common and so remembered - they’re over the top, they’re blunt (lol), and they have a very specific message they’re trying to send. For example, there’s an issue of New Teen Titans from 1983 that introduce a character called the Protector to teach kids about drug awareness where the issue literally starts with the Teen Titans in an auditorium telling kids about a dangerous drug. This issue also includes some bad trip imagery, and it’s uh… honestly i kinda love this

Anti-drug PSAs usually don’t work for this very reason - showing how a drug affects fictional characters can increase interest in the substance, and a single superhero telling someone to stop smoking is not going to break someone’s addiction.

So. Is Knuckles the Echidna issues 13-15 an anti-drug PSA?

Probably not, but if it is it’s doing a fucking terrible job of it

Some of the main factors of a PSA are the information it's presenting, the opinion it wants the consumer to develop, and the bluntness of its presentation. While this part of the Knuckles series is certainly over the top, the rest of these factors are really muddy. First, anti-drug PSAs usually don’t create a fake drug to replace the one they’re advising against. An anti-weed campaign will just tell you that weed is bad because that’s the opinion it wants you to walk away with. So when Knuckles issue 13 introduces a substance called “Lemon Sundrop Dandelion” and never actually refers to it as LSD, it’s less of a message about “drug bad” and more just a sly nudge and wink that goes “hey you see that? yeah, that’s drug.”

Then there’s the problem that there isn’t really much of a lesson to be had from these issues regarding drug use. Yes, Mello dies horrifically of an overdose, but most of the cast is able to walk off the trip like it’s nothing. Charmy needs to be operated on, but the doctors literally treat it like it’s fucking NOTHING

he's literally talking about how he told a patient that couldn't afford surgery to go to the butcher like HUH?????

In fact, Charmy’s trip seems to help him in the long run - he’s forced to face his past, and eventually returns to his family because of the literal guilt trip he has. It’s a fundamental part of his character arc.

This isn’t to say that I wish these issues were explicitly drug PSAs - I bring all of this up because these issues were released in 1998, in an era where the anti-drug movement was arguably at its peak. The people working on these comics would KNOW its content is similar to and even promotes the anti-drug movement. While I don't consider these issues to be an anti-drug PSA, they can definitely serve as anti-drug propaganda.

With this in mind, considering Knuckles the Echidna as a form of propaganda really opens up how utterly terrible these issues are. These comics can be genuinely harmful pieces of anti-drug propaganda because the way they use LSD to advance they plot is untrue to how the drug actually works and relies entirely on fear mongering. While LSD can be laced into other substances like drinks, it probably wouldn't last long in cooked meat - LSD usually degrades at higher temperatures, and telling comic readers that they need to be afraid of LSD-laced fair food is fucking stupid and likely based on false urban legends. Not only that, but Renfield T. Rodent’s plot to addict everyone to his LSD chili dogs is also fucking stupid because LSD is not considered an addictive substance. It can be extremely dangerous at high or multiple doses, but LSD does not normally lead to compulsive use.

I don’t talk about all of this to be a cinemasins guy or to nitpick a comic from 1998, and I also don't want to imply that PSAs can't spread lies and misinformation (anti-drug PSAs famously over-exaggerate things). I bring all of this up to show an ineffective and possibly dangerous use of something that could be considered anti-drug propaganda. Spreading blatantly untrue information and placing false fears into a reader’s mind is truly incompetent on the writer’s behalf, especially considering that this comic was targeted at kids. And that’s not even mentioning that there’s barely any moral to all of this. There’s no lesson and they never talk about this again.

Do I think this was all intentional on the behalf of the writers? I have no idea. I have no goddamn idea what they were thinking with this one, and I honestly don't think much thought was put into this arc at all. Maybe this was a strange attempt to make a Sonic-themed anti-drug PSA, maybe they were just inspired by the drug PSAs of their time when writing this, or maybe they just did not care. I don't know man. Anti-drug propaganda is stupid and it doesn't work and these comics drive me crazy

alright enough of that. let's talk about genocide

PART 2 - SAFFRON

don’t worry this part will be shorter (cheering and clapping)

Like I mentioned a while back, Charmy is essentially written out of the story for a while after the Mello incident. While living in the Golden Hive Colony, he reunites with another friend, Saffron Bee. Saffron becomes Charmy’s girlfriend, and they’re together for basically the rest of the comic. Usually if Charmy shows up, Saffron is there too.

(image of Charmy and Saffron I stole from... the Shipping Wiki??)

They eventually return to help Chaos Knuckles, a green version of Knuckles who is uh. Kinda going through it. Not much important Charmy lore needs to be discussed here, but some of his actions do eventually lead to him creating a genocidal villain that will cause many problems later. Don’t worry about it.

Things are quiet for a while for Charmy and Saffron. That is, until Eggman attacks their colony and wipes out most of its population.

Charmy and Saffron are the only survivors we see from the Golden Hive Colony. Eggman transforms the colony into a new base and traps its residents in an invention of his called the Egg Grapes - basically, he puts Mobians in these little pods that sap all of their life force, powering his empire. Most people do not survive the Egg Grapes.

The two bees return to join the Chaotix for a little while, and the rest of the Chaotix confirm that the Golden Hive Colony and its residents are truly gone. Espio destroys what’s left of the colony so Eggman can’t use it as a base, and no other survivors from the colony are found.

So. yeah what the fuck

Archie Sonic is known to have a LOT of characters - I’ve talked about the sheer number of echidnas the series has before, but there are a lot of characters that have massive extended families. The arc where Mello died introduced like eight new bee characters, but most of them were background characters that didn’t need to stick around.

Most people cite writer Ian Flynn’s debut to the series as when a lot of these unneeded/background characters were written out or killed off, and I agree since one of his objectives as a writer was to tighten up the story. However, the trend of “Archie background characters getting killed off or written out” started a little bit before he joined the team. There’s the destruction of the Golden Hive, and many echidnas in this arc suffer from the horrors of war - a number die off after Charmy and Saffron rejoin the Chaotix. yeah it's kinda fucked up

This is the second major arc where Charmy has lost people close to him - first Mello, and now his entire family and kingdom. The same goes for Saffron - they only have each other left. I mean the Chaotix are also there but still, trauma is trauma

How could it get any worse?

PART 3 - CHARMY

Remember how Archie Charmy is based off of the Knuckles’ Chaotix manual? The one that said he was sophisticated and 16?

This is about to cause a few problems.

At this point, it’s around 2007. The Knuckles’ Chaotix manual is terribly outdated, and most versions of Charmy within canon are 6 year-old kids. Charmy is known to be the annoying comedic relief, which is the exact opposite from how he’s portrayed in Archie Sonic.

So when SEGA asked writer Ian Flynn to change Archie Sonic to be like his video game counterpart, the solution was uh. well. it could have been handled better

Like how he obliterated the Golden Hive Colony, Eggman’s next target to destroy is Knothole, the city where Sonic and the Freedom Fighters all live. It’s a surprise to all of the residents, and he manages to teleport most of the population into his Egg Grapes. Before Sonic can save them, Eggman singles out Charmy to be used as an example of how the Egg Grapes work.

Sonic and friends manage to get Charmy out, but not before the damage is already done. In the limited amount of time the Grape sapped his life force, Charmy’s memory was partially wiped and personality changed forever. After this, Charmy has very little memory of the Golden Hive Colony at all, only seeming to remember Saffron and his friends. His becomes much more child-like, similar to his game counterpart.

the fucking sigh i just sighed

For clarification, Charmy is still 16. The only thing that was altered was his mind, with the intention to make his personality more in-line with his goofy video game counterpart. The problem is that giving a character brain damage to turn them into a comedic relief character is fucked up and unintentionally ableist.

This is something that writer Ian Flynn identified pretty early and openly regrets (I’m not sure what the source of that statement is, I’m assuming an episode of Bumblekast but I’m don’t know which one. I’ll edit this if I find it). Because of this, he mostly kept Charmy out of any comedic situations for the rest of the series. Charmy has a very limited role in the series after this until the reboot, only appearing sporadically and in one Sonic Universe arc. When he does show up, his childish demeanor is usually met with the patience of the Chaotix and their sad expressions.

Although the intention was to make Archie Charmy more like his game counterpart, in practice I honestly think this action only made Archie Charmy even MORE distant from his game character. From the Egg Grape incident to the reboot, Archie Charmy’s trauma never leaves my mind and leaves me feeling strangely hollow.

CONCLUSION - WHAT THE FUCK

I find the Archie Sonic series unfathomably fascinating. While I love the series, I can’t deny that most of the events I went over are poorly handled by the writing team and leave the series with such a strange legacy. With Archie Sonic, it’s often incredibly easy to see the biases of the writers and how they affect the characters and stories, leading to some genuinely fucked up moments that could have easily been avoided in my opinion.

Archie Charmy was really one of the characters that got it the worst, but it's honestly so strange that all of this happened to him specifically. The fact that all of this shit happens to a silly little bee is so, so Archie Sonic to me. Charmy is such a simple character to understand - he's a funny kid who's kinda annoying and hard to handle. So when I look back and see the 3,000+ words I just wrote about Archie Charmy... fucking hell why did i do that

In conclusion. I am sorry and do not become a comics person

thanks for reading if you got this far. as always let me know if i need to tag any other content warnings or if there was anything i got wrong! alright good night tristate area

[umemiyan]

does the sims still count as a cozy game if you just use mods to make everyone fuck and do coke

[ankouartheadcannons]

@the-maddened-hatter @cookieclimax

This is my most developed Hazbin Hotel character and the first I created.

She was born in 1926 and died in 1945 at 19 of yet to be decided causes.

She's a kitsune sinner demon.

She wields dual swords.

She's a middle child of 3 to extremely neglectful parents who were not great.

Her parents were a serial killer couple and extremely physically and emotionally abusive to all three of their children.

Unfortunately the abuse from their father was sometimes sexual. Specifically towards Ro.

They both of their parents drank and did drugs a lot.

Ro , at the age of 7 , witnessed the aftermath of Alastor's death. By this time she was already desensitized to death and blood due to her parents.

At some point Ro accidentally tried drugs due to her parents leaving a stash unattended around small children.

[putridement]

i wonder if it makes you stay awake at night,

thinking about how things could have been different?

i’m just wondering,

if i’m the only one still crying about it.

[dilfsisko]

Hey. Hey listen. If someone ever tries to tell you that weed isn't really a drug and that it's non addictive, they are lying to you.

[honeyjars-sims]

2.7 Opening Up

Lexie: It’s too bad we got assigned to set design for the first production, but at least we’ll be able to hang out together. 

Johnny: Yeah, it looks like most of the acting roles went to the juniors and seniors. Maybe next year we’ll have better luck.

Lexie: Well, the semester’s just getting started. Who knows what will happen. We could impress them with our sick acting skills and get the leads next time. 

Johnny: [laughing] I support your delusional optimism! Oh, I almost forgot…my mom wanted me to tell you hi and that she enjoyed meeting you.

Lexie: Hmm, that’s nice of her. I guess let her know I said hi as well.

Johnny: [teasingly] You’re not going to say it was nice to meet her too?

Lexie: No comment.

Johnny: I don’t blame you! Honestly, it went better than I was expecting.

Lexie: Really? That's kind of sad.

Johnny: Yeah, unfortunately, that was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my mom. 

Lexie: Well, it really bothered me how she was speaking about you. I kept trying to change the subject, but she’d always end up making some snarky little comment. 

Johnny: I’m used to it, I guess. The thing is, if I’d called her out she’d say I was overreacting. In the past, I would’ve believed her, but now…not so much.

Lexie: Good, because she’s wrong about you. I can’t imagine how it affected you to hear that as a child, or even now.

Johnny: [sighs] I wish I could say that was the worst thing I had to deal with as a kid, but it wasn’t by a long shot. If you don’t mind, I think I’m ready to talk to you about it.

Lexie: Of course. You can tell me anything. Let's go somewhere more private.

TW: The dialogue below includes discussion of child abuse and drug abuse (not graphic but please use your own discretion if this topic is triggering to you).

Johnny: It wasn’t just my mom who treated me badly. It was also her husband, Jimmy. I refuse to call him my stepdad because he wasn’t any kind of parent to me. He was way worse, though. With my mom it’s this kind of passive aggressive backhanded shit, but Jimmy? He was full-on aggressive. Not just with his words, either. 

Lexie: Oh my God, he hurt you? Johnny, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was that bad.

Johnny: Yeah, it was pretty awful. I started having nightmares and I was anxious all the time. I tried to talk to my mom about it, but I was too scared to tell her what was really going on so she thought I was just being dramatic. 

Lexie: Geez, I can’t imagine my parents just brushing me off like that. You must have been terrified.

Johnny: I was. It only got worse when my mom started doing drugs. By that time I was old enough to start fighting back and all the blame fell on me. Jimmy almost convinced mom to send me to military school but then my dads got custody of me and Chantal.

Lexie: Thank God for your dads! 

Johnny: For real, I’m so grateful for them. It’s weird, though…whenever a kid gets away from their abusive family, everyone expects them to be happy about it. No one ever talks about all the mixed emotions. I knew I was better off with my dads, but I still thought about the good times I had with my mom. It was hard to leave her.

Lexie: I think I understand more why you’re still trying to work things out with her. It sounds like the whole situation was really traumatic for you.

Johnny: Yeah, even when I wasn’t talking to her I always had this feeling of “what if?” Like maybe there is a way to fix everything and make it go away.

Lexie: Some things can’t be fixed, no matter how hard you try. I don’t know if your relationship with your mom is one of them, but I hope you’ll recognize when it’s time to let go if it comes to that.

Johnny: I think I will. I’m going to give it more time, but I’m starting to feel like…like I deserve better. I didn’t feel that way before.

Lexie: You deserve so much better, Johnny. You’re so much more than what your mom sees you as. And Jimmy. He better hope I never see him ‘cause I’ll kick him right in the balls!

Johnny: [laughing] Lexie! I’ve never heard you so angry before. I can’t see you doing something like that, you’re too sweet.

Lexie: I’d do it to him! And I’d enjoy watching him suffer. Oh, sorry, I probably shouldn’t be so violent about it. It just really got me worked up. 

Johnny: It’s ok. You’re cute when you’re protective.

Lexie: Well, consider me your bodyguard, then.

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[venusandsaturnsrings]

VENUS IM BACK!! LIKE A WEEK BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY (it's the 24th!!)

I present inceltaru with ANGEL GF <333

Incel childe how just things you're the cutest thing!! Ofc just because ur an angel doesn't mean you're free from his sinful thoughts<33 ugh he's such a little freak that he researches angels mating habits so he knows what signs to look for:((( definitely not so he can fuel his little fantasies in a more accurate way!! He would never!!! Imagine him reeling when you ask him to preen you're wings cause it's only something mate's do</33 he's SO hard at the thought of being your beloved mate that it hurts!!<33 the purrs you let out when he preens you're wings aren't helping either:(( all he can think about is just pushing you down and fucking you :((( ofc he wouldn't do that without you're permission, BUT!! Later when he's done with preening you're feathers and being the perfect little doting mate he's watching angels be fucked stupid on different sites <333 he likes imaging its you while pumping his cock while you sleep all curled up on his bed!!

Ugh bringing back his filthy panty stealing habit he just snatches them right out of your basket when you're distracted (they're all cute and frilly!! Ofc you don't know what it does to him </33) imagine him slipping in some aphrodisiacs into you're food cause angels don't rlly go into heat :(( he just thinks you look soooo cute all sobbing and needy <333 he can't help but playing and teasing you're pretty pussy for hours on end not letting you come until he sits your cute cubby body on his face for him to eat out!! When he's finally had enough of you're juices (he could never have enough but his cock is painfully hard, and he's cum once untouched!!) he starts to fuck ur fat pussy the right way, praising you for being such a good girl<333 he def creampies you cause he just wants you're cute little chubby belly full of his kids!! I forget to mention the amount of marks he leaves to show others you're HIS pretty little angel and no one elses!! He definitely messes with the base of you're wigs to get you all whiney from how sensitive they are on aphrodisiacs :(((

-chubby darling anon!!

WAHHHH OH HOW IVE MISSED YOU… omg!! birthday!! i love birthdays :3 i love festivities and balloons and cake and confetti and sprinkles!! you better have had a super duper awesome birthday OR ELSE!! happy one week belated birthday :3 but… my god… your brain is huge… angel girl and yucky inceltaru :((

any sort of creature or hybrid has the blood rushing lower in his body but, he admittedly has a soft (hard?) spot for pretty angels. put the prettiest little angel ever in front of him? he’s a goner. now, have that little angel be absolutely fascinated by him? double whammy, he’s done for.

the soft and nearly iridescent feathers of your wings called out to his mind and hands incessantly. with fluffy down at the base, it was difficult to repress his constant need to mess with the soft surface. Ajax eyed them up day and night while flicking through various adult videos or books divulging the mating habits of angels. if he became your mate, he’d get to care for you constantly which includes getting his dick wet AND petting your wings. what does he truly have to lose? so when you approach him shyly following your afternoon nap requesting he preen your wings, he thinks he’s died and finally gone to heaven alongside you. yet, he sits himself down and fixes up all your feathers. the little hums and whines you let out do nothing to settle the raging boner he’s developed yet he can't find himself wanting to stop; you're just too cute to resist.

later, you request his assistance nesting. with your fluttering lashes and doe eyes the idea of declining doesn't even cross his mind lest crystalline tears fall; that's something he looks forward to seeing when he finally splits you open for the first time. he brings you an infinite source of soft toys and blanks to cozy up in yet you still request some of his clothes to add to the pile under the pretense of wanting his smell to linger. cheeks thoroughly flushed, he hands you a couple hoodies and shirts to bury in the already large nest you've built. the satisfied noise you make upon deeming the nest complete has his heart about to burst from his chest. you're just too cute and you don't even seem to know it!! that said, since you've taken some of his favourite pieces of clothing, it's only fair he steals some of yours, right? sure, his plans are significantly more lewd but he's a man that regularly thinks with his dick more than his head. his favourite panties are always the ones in sweet pastel colours with pretty bows. your pussy most certainly would be a present so a bow suits the piece of clothing. Ajax always makes sure to aim right for the crotch, where your entrance would sit, when he finishes.

angels sure are interesting beings! being monogamous mates and sharing similar habits with other creatures that have heat and rut cycles, one would assume you'd have one as well, but angels are beings with a biological duty of sorts and consequently don't have any such cycles. Ajax isn't opposed to manipulating your body and needs to the slightest degree so if aphrodisiacs are what it takes to finally fully have you, he won't turn away at the idea. he justifies it as simply appealing to a biological process you sadly don't have!! it's no crime to finish what your body had already started.

every morning he lets you take care of the cooking while preparing a glass of juice for you. this particular morning, he had chosen orange juice due to the opaque nature disguising any cloudiness made by the drug; he does have brain cells. with eyes low over his glasses, he watches as you eagerly drink the beverage, feet lightly kicking underneath the table and a smile playing on your lips. you really are too sweet for your own good, he thinks. it takes mere minutes for the warmth to build up in your body and the slick to gather in your panties. your eyebrows are furrowed with short pants of breath leaving you mouth. Ajax plays the caring mate roll perfectly, asking if you're alright and gently touching your forehead with the back of his hand. even that slightest bit of contact has you keening and begging him to keep touching you exactly the way you both want. he's quick to scoop you up and place you back in the sweet nest of your own creation while murmuring promises of taking care of you. long fingers slide your panties off your hips and drool drops from his mouth onto your stomach at the sight of the spider web like strings of arousal clinging from your cunt to the flimsy cotton. thoughts and rationality left behind, he dives into your pussy slurping and sucking on every part he can. Ajax nibbles gently at your lips, clit, and thighs just to hear you sob more for him; these are the tears he wanted to see. he takes time easing you to orgasm after orgasm on his face until the wetness against the front of his boxers becomes unbearable to which he shucks them off in favour of slowly rubbing his tip back and forth between your folds. he soothes your watery cries with his own mouth as he sinks into you slowly. the aphrodisiac did its job in getting you needy but certainly couldn't bypass just how tight you are around him. he's, regretfully, anything but slow while he fucks you. it's your first time but he knows you need it hard. with fingers playing at the base of your wings, he fucks your velveteen hole with vigor only matched by agression you see in one of his big gaming matches. it's sloppy and harsh but enough to finish you both off quickly and oh, how you've fallen in love with the sensation of being bred so very full.

[agent-calivide]

Seraphina Enya "Phoenix" Ardeat full backstory

Content Warnings for: Mental and Emotional Abuse,Child Neglect, Alcoholism, Drug use, Eating Disorder, Car accidents, mental health struggles, inferiority complex, and feelings of expendability.

This story is not a happy one, you do not need my Phoenix's full backstory to appreciate her as a character, nor to follow the premise of any of my fanfics. This is just a little bit of bonus content for those curious, but if any of the above are triggering:

Do not feel like you have to read what's below to follow my fanfics or any of my other IEYTD work.

The information explains my Phoenix's mannerisms, but lacking the context does not make any of my other works unreadable.

So, it occurred to me recently that, while I talk and write a lot about my Phoenix, I've never sat down and given y'all her backstory about how she got to the EOD, especially seeing how she's rather young (something that becomes much more obvious in Glaring Gears once I actually start editing it)

Seraphina Enya Ardeat was born to Caine and Mary Ardeat, and they were the spitting image of a 1950's family... With an emotionally abusive father and a mother who was clocked out of life with a mixture of red wine and opioids.

Because of her mother's physical presence but otherwise complete absence in every other way, Seraphina was pushed to take up the mantle of homemaker very, very early in life. Growing up, she was expected to cook and clean for her father while also balancing schoolwork, leading to shaky grades and sub-par results at home. This was not good enough, which lead to many, many nights of Seraphina sobbing while her father berated her and her mother simply watched.

As the years went by, the treatment only grew worse, with her father speaking terrible things to her through middleschool and into highschool, making her feel like she couldn't do anything right.

"Not smart enough to go to college and not pretty enough to be a trophy wife" was a go-to insult that clung to her skin and carved itself into her mind. Especially as she grew a love for technology, loving flashing screens and spinning dials and the magic of radio waves and magnetism and how electricity travels, but feeling like she was never going to be smart enough to properly follow it in any significant manner. This road block leads to her idolization of Zoraxis tech and Dr Roxanna Prism, even if she'd never switch sides for it.

Of course, the other comment ate at her just as much, Seraphina starting to calorie count and manage her waist far too young to be worrying about such things. She's shorter than average because she stunted her growth greatly by not feeding herself properly in her youth. Handler started giving food after missions because she neglected herself so greatly in the early days of missions she'd usually be on the verge of passing out after most of them. She shrugs it off as exhaustion, but M knows what it is.

As Seraphina grew tired and burnt out, she desperately tried to find a way out, ending up finding herself at the bottom of one of her mother's wine bottles and being given the liquid courage to try and drive away in the middle of the night. The combination lead to a massive car wreck that, while it didn't kill her, did leave her rather bloodied and in a lot more trouble with her father.

She couldn't save up money from an actual job, but she pinched pennies wherever she could from dollar bills left lying around, stashing coins, and taking odd jobs like helping clean up other people's homes and other under the counter gigs all through highschool, and the second she graduated she was gone.

Took all of her life savings, sunk it into the only jalopy she could afford, grabbed a few sets of clothes and vanished. She drove for days on end until she was sure she was far enough away nobody would find her and spent all of her time filling out job request forms. She slept in her car and cleaned up in public bathrooms, it wasn't pleasant and at times she'd wondered if she made the right decision.

But, after ages of radio silence, someone finally reached out, the EOD.

While the EOD prided themselves on being a highly specialized division, they also were... incredibly desperate. Agents were dying at astronomical rates thanks to an up and coming enemy known as Dr Zor, and even their most professional of agents were dropping like flies. They needed hands, and fast. Even if they were simply canon-fodder placeholders while they learned this new foe's tendencies. Sure, they knew about combination locks, plastic explosives, how to unwire and rewire bombs, but this odd puzzle aspect was throwing them for a loop. They were desperate for someone, anyone to join their forces.

Desperate enough that when they got an application from a girl with no past, no place of residence, no paper trail, and nothing to be tracked, they simply counted their lucky stars that they finally found someone who wasn't gonna wake up to a poison powder in their air vents or a bomb in their mailbox.

Seraphina was put into training on an accelerated course that had her skip the position as cadet, and most positions frankly, and she quickly became the agent the EOD knows and loves today.

But, unfortunately, she has yet to get help for all of the trauma she underwent while growing up. Hell, she has yet to admit that there even was trauma there an that she wasn't just a deeply fucked up individual as a person and not as a result of her family.

She feels like she has to push through sickness, injury, exhaustion. She has to keep busting her ass and being her best, the best, or else she'll be discarded and left to fend for herself all over again. And the EOD has only exacerbated this issue with their revolving door of agents that they quickly replaced and nonchalant behavior to agent deaths.

Sure, it was because the others were failing missions in the "setting off a death trap to the face" way, but she could never chase the nagging feeling that if she, as an agent, didn't succeed every mission flawlessly with no evidence she was there and all of the intel, the day saved, what have you she'd be fired for failing. This has lead to extreme cases of self negligence and overworking often, but she hides it with a snarky, sassy attitude and a fake smile.

She's the best of the best and she has to stay that way... lest her family be proven right.

[opossumbard]

"It's you."

[silascody]

Characters: Silas Cody, various mentions / allusions to others. 

Timeline and setting: April 25th, 2023 + Lone Fir Cemetery in Portland, Oregon. 

Trigger warning: death, child death, grief, cancer, drugs, suicide ideation. 

“I think you’d have smoked Acapulco Gold, if you’d smoked,” Silas says as he tilts the matchbox he’s just retrieved from the pocket of the jacket he had to take off due to the heat to free one, striking it against the headstone he was sat beside to light up his joint. “Or maybe you’d have been a Bubba Kush kinda guy. Lemon haze?” 

He lets that question hang in the air as he takes a long, lung-deep toke as if he was waiting for his brother’s voice to speak back to him with answers. It wouldn’t, it never did, and somehow that hadn’t gotten easier with the passing of time like all those stupid pamphlets and well-meaning wishes had told him. 

According to his birth certificate, Portland was his home, the city that raised him but it had never quite felt that way. Not even twelve years in California with five of those spent locked in a cage had been enough to restore any rose-tinted memories for him of the first place that had ever left scars on his body. 

For the first four years of his life, eerie children’s characters painted on chipped hospital walls had been his most frequent friends, unblinking eyes that watched him silently as he tried to be a brave boy like his mother demanded while his body was poked and prodded and used as a last lifeline for the dying boy who was the only reason he existed in the first place. That had been Silas’ job, the only one that ever mattered, to save Jack. 

( Four years old was too innocent to truly comprehend the magnitude of death. ) 

“I wish we could have smoked together. Or just done anything together, really. Sometimes I wish that you lived and I died, I think you’d have done it better than me. Living. I only knew you for four years but you were the best guy I ever knew. If it had of gone that way, I don’t think mom would have forgotten to smile the way she did and maybe dad wouldn’t have drank so much. I think you guys would have been sad a while but you’d have moved on. We could never move on from you. We were never allowed to. It made me hate you. Man, I fucking hated you.” 

His head leans back against the black marble headstone that bore gold lettering with JACK CODY carved into it along with his birth and death date. The picture of the beaming boy that was displayed on it with his brunette hair still intact before treatment bore a striking resemblance to the weary man tapping ash into the patch of grass that separated his brother’s resting place from someone else’s loved ones. 

They had always looked the most alike, the oldest and youngest of the Cody boys, and Silas had adorned his body with various tattoos and images from his teen years in the hopes that maybe if they were less similar his mother would have been able to bear looking at him. 

“Not really though. It just made being here without you easier. I’ve always been better with being angry than being upset, you know?” 

Out of the corner of his eye, he can’t help but notice the vibrant arrangement of blue irises that had to have been freshly placed for how they had been fairing against the weather, his hand reaching out to brush his fingertips against their petals as he held his spliff in between his lips. 

“Mom’s still alive then,” He observes after he exhales, feeling equal parts relief and revulsion at knowing that. It makes him curious about if she had ever found herself sat in the same cemetery as he was, at the same grave, sharing the same regrets. It’s been years since he had seen her face but he could picture it so clearly due to how regularly he saw her in that state, cheeks tearstained after weeping for the boy who had been dead for longer than he had. Had she ever wept for the wayward one that still had a heartbeat on any of her visits? 

He would have settled for wondered if not, to be a fleeting thought in the mind of the woman who had given him life for no other reason than to prolong her firstborn’s was better than being nothing at all which is what he felt like most of the time. 

( Thirteen years old was too young to die. ) 

“I don’t why I thought she might visit me, when I was in prison. I wrote her a letter, tried to say I’m sorry for being such a fuck-up. Not just with the drugs and shit, with everything. She never wrote back, which should have been my first clue but, I don’t know. Every week when visiting hours would roll around, I thought maybe she might show and sit across from me and maybe hold my hand or something and we could try and mend some shit.” There’s a humourless laugh that leave’s his mouth then, that kind of naivety was something he hated in other people and he would never have confided this in anyone living, which made Jack the only person he could really talk to these days. 

“You wouldn’t know but, let me tell how it goes after someone dies, people rally. They show up. They look out for you, but then they show up less ‘cause they moved on. Moved forward, even if you’re still stuck in it. That’s what prison is like too. Six months, a year, people show up to visit, they accept your calls, they write you. But then you hit two years, and three, four and you start to see that you’re just not important to people like that. It doesn’t fit with their life anymore, because they’re moving forward and you’re just stuck there. Living out the same fucking day, day in, day out. Sometimes I used to hope someone would start shit with me just for something to do,” He knows that Jack would have laughed at that, the same way he always did when Silas found himself in a wrestling match in the living room with Nathan, who was three years older than him and had always been built like a brick house even back then.

As much as he loathed Nate, he had taught him a valuable lesson early on – it was just as important to know how to take a punch than it was to be able to throw one. 

“Remember that girl I told you about last time I was here? The one I said I’ma marry one day, you don’t even wanna fucking know how that turned out.”

It’s harder for him to make light of that topic as he did every other one, even when speaking to deaf ears. Some part of him knew that if he felt less for Jordan, it would be easier to speak about her – but he’s never been good at doing less when she was in the equation. 

Ever since they had first crossed paths he’s always wanted more from her – to love him more, to need him more, to give him more. More, more, more while all he had to offer her was himself which had a track record of always being just a little less than. 

It had never occurred to him that he had been expecting too much, not until her visits started to be missed and his calls started to be screened. 

“She’s prolly better off without me around but, classic Silas, can’t have that. So I been keeping tabs on her fucking daily even though I've been out for two years. Day they let me out that cage I had this stupid fucking notion in my head that she’s gonna remember why she gave a fuck about me in the first place and she'd be there outside the gates waiting for me even though we hadn't spoke in four years. She wasn't, so I went on a two week coke bender with this chef chick that I met the day I was released and the rest of the last two years have been a fucking blur of trying to forget about her.” He clicks his tongue then, a shake of his head following as he crosses his ankles so he can stretch his legs out in front of him, keeping a stoney faced expression despite the sympathetic smile aimed his way by a dark-haired woman who was trudging her way towards a cluster of headstones just passed where he was sat. 

“No such luck, not that it matters. I think she hates me, and in some ways I get that ‘cause they tell me getting released is getting a second chance but I haven't done shit with mine.” 

( Thirty three years old was too old to change. ) 

Even with the debts that he had racked up just before he was sent away and while he was in there now cleared, he has no idea what the fuck he wants to do with his life. After seven years removed from what he considered his norm, it takes him by surprise that he’s starting to see cycle he was caught in. 

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, would it? You and me kicking it here forever. Seems like no matter what I do, it always comes back to me and you.” 

Silas, Jack. Jack, Silas. Oldest, youngest. Selfless, selfish. 

A boy taken too young and a man who’s lived longer than anyone anticipated. 

Finally, he’s getting himself up off the ground, patting off stray blades of grass that hand clung the fabric of his dark jeans before he reached down to pick his jacket up. 

“I’ll be honest with you man, I don’t think I’m going to be back here again. It just hurts too much to be in this city and to be here. I don’t how much more hurt I can handle, which probably makes me sound like a pussy but it’s just the truth. I want you to know that it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about you ‘cause I never could. You weren’t just my big brother, you were my best brother. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”