Carmilla: rants about there being discrimination against women in Dracula's court
Meanwhile
Dracula when Carmilla insults him and his dead wife in front of everyone: Well ok I'll let it slide
Dracula when Godbrand makes a valid point: The fuck did you say to me you fuck!?
Well there's discrimination all right
clearly, Dracula jugs that Respect Woman Juice because he's such a loving husbando <3 /s
I'll never be over Carmilla's out of nowhere "There are perhaps four other women in this castle and they all glare from the edges, either disempowered by posturing man-children or too paralysed by sheer fucking rage to do anything"
one, there are only three women in the castle, Carmilla being one of them. two, ah yes, the sheer fucking rage of the most tragic victims of sexism in the story, these randos right here
I remember when they were about to save the day, but the Evil Penis-Endowed Men told them to shut up and cook blood in the kitchen because they're just women <3
well I would remember, if they bothered to be characters.
Then again, NFCV's idea of showing Carmilla's abuse at the hands of a man is a flashback that only depicts her killing her master like a true #girlboss, because god forbid we see her in any other light. Why bother actually showing us the pain she went through and fuels her ever-growing rage, when she can just talk about how she deserves to take stuff from stupid old men like the most shallow parody of a radfem? 🙃
something something the abused woman is always shown in a strong light and are only told in passing of her weak moments such as her having nightmares (?), while the abused men are humiliated and fetishized. gotta do the big think on this 🤔
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🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers! (@comfortingstars)
this isn't really a gush but i wanted an excuse to ramble without getting embarrassed hfshjhddj i might not be very coherent, and all of this is just me talking to myself (about arifive) so i can organize my thoughts
okay firstly, i am rewatching season 3. it is such a giant shitshow. honestly. hfshjfdhhdh now the thing is, the plot threads are so tightly knit together (same can be said for the whole show, really) that ive always found it difficult to self insert into it. which is why ari doesn't play too much of a role besides being five's self-appointed meatshield lol
i am rolling with it and making it related to his character arc throughout the story, but i also thought, what if i scrap him altogether? 🤔 what if he was still in the first apocalypse? we do see in the s4 trailer that we might get to see it again through the time-traveling subway(?) so the idea of arifive reunion there sounds. hmmmmmm. but then again that would present a lot of issues like awkward age gap that just. doesn't feel like their style i guess
that idea, i realize, is also just going to be scrapped right away though. five would never leave him there to begin with. that's the entire basis of their relationship 😭
however that does leave ari as a hanging thread with nowhere to go again. ive tried my best not to speculate too hard so i can roll with the flow as s4 comes out (in less than a week :DD) but i really do wonder. in any case ari's presence there, i feel like, would already create colossal differences to the canon events simply because he's there? 😭 five might not behave the same way because of that and now i have to rewrite the entire series. which is such a pain. honestly
like a lot of problems would be solved so fast if ari was there 😒 not to toot my own horn or anything hfshjfsfhj but i do mean it. like the many times five gets hurt and shot at would be solved very quickly, since ari would be affected by neither of that. that is a major problem on this show in general i think. it relies too much on the inconvenience of it all. they keep all their main characters busy and distracted so they're never on the same page, and therfore they all deal with shit by themselves for 10 episodes when they could've solved the problem in 1 by just talking to each other for more than 3 minutes,,,
this show is so so annoying actually how am i supposed to walk around saying "i like this show" when that is sooo not true i am the umbrella academy's number 1 hater at this point 💀 but also i have extensive knowledge of the characters, lore, and plot that is basically burned into my skull. yes i hate this show i swear
one way i had wanted to give ari his own plot (his main theme is of him growing into his own person after his childhood was cut short, after all) was his doppelganger, morgan, in the sparrow academy but im so lost on whether or not she's dead at the end of the season,,,💀 like sure TWO sparrows survived to the finale. out of SEVEN. and then one of them lived until the end (but he's ben so we're unsure about why he's here), but the other one????? no one knows where the hell she went???????? and the season 4 promo doesn't mention her at all 😭 😭 😭 😭 im so confused okay
one thing i definitely had wanted to touch on when i flesh out ari's arc is his powers. they are so complex and personally one of my favorite concepts ever. the power itself is actually rather simple in concept, just hard to explain
but assuming that there are multiple timelines and dimensions in the universe, ari's powers make it so that he is spiritually connected to all his other selves. at least, more so than the average person would be. this is why he doesn't die! if everyone else's souls are split into all their different variants', ari's variants have one soul connected together like a giant web. even if you cut one string, you still have the web, and it can still be rebuilt. therefore, he can never really be processed as dead (unless he cuts the string himself, but he doesn't know that)
that has always been so interesting to think about for me, and how that impacts his character, because then even his power is a direct parallel to five's. five is the traveler of time and space, meaning he can go anywhere he wishes. ari, meanwhile, is already there. always has been, always is, always will be
i was going to build up on that in season 3 and 4, since morgan is one of his variants but. 💀 um. she might have been wiped from existence altogether so i don't really know if that counts as killing her
tldr this show is stupid. it's so stupid it makes its characters stupid by proxy. if i put myself, a non-stupid person, there, there would be no more plot :( i am sad. but i will carry on with my watching because i need to see my husband very badly
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Astarion Romance Headcanons 🥀
SFW:
Side glances when you're besides him
Full on staring when you're not
Immediately looking away when you catch him
"You know the way he looks at you, don't you, soldier?"
His pinky itching towards yours when you're walking, wanting to hold your hand but unsure because, is it too much? Will you reject him?
His hands scrunching up your shirt tightly whenever you hug. He's always the last to let go.
You hold on longer and longer each time because he doesn't want to let go.
His kisses are tender and needy.
He likes the warmth of your hands.
Thinking of what tones will suit your perfume the best. He'll gift it to you after all this is over.
He'll sew the holes or tears in your clothes over the night and pretend he doesn't know what happened next morning.
When you move to kiss his cheek he will grimace in annoyance but lean in as you do it.
"Be careful around Astarion, (Tav). He's not serious about you.", the others will warn you. And Astarion will worry you'll heed their words more than his so he'll do so much to prove his love to you, not knowing that you already trust him (even if that is an objectively stupid thing to do lmao).
He started sleeping next to you from the moment you had sex but ever since you've entered the shadowlands, he ends up cuddling in the middle of the night. He misses the sun.
He likes kissing the palm of your hand or its back.
Likes to pack your bag before you leave camp.
"No one's ever going to love me like that again."
Ever since you told him that there's more to him than just beauty and sex, that he's hilarious, for instance, he finds ways to make you laugh. He loves it. He's started being a lot more sarcastic and makes more jokes just to hear your laughter. He'll never admit it, of course. Other than maybe when it's only you two.
Doesn't believe he will be able to love again if you let go of him.
"Don't be so nice to me." he says with round, needy and pleading eyes.
Thinking of ways he can show others you're together so others know you're not available.
Hiding his jealousy, terribly.
He will rip the throat out of anyone with malicious intent towards you.
"I will wait the whole of my life for you, Astarion." He doesn't believe it at first, but the longer you go on without sex the safer he feels and the more he wants you.
NSFW:
He sometimes cries silently at night, wishing he could make love to you without it feeling so tainted. He wants it so badly, but his past experience prohibits it. The pain of wanting something and being unable to have it only because of himself is too much. He blames himself too sometimes. Wishing he could give you more.
"I don't mind waiting.", you'd say.
"I do. I can't have you, no matter how much I want you.", he'd say.
When you cuddle him sensing he's upset, he will bury his face in your neck to hide his tears. The smell of you is comforting.
Needing you everytime you're tender with him.
Getting aroused when you hug during a kiss.
Wanting to kiss your skin all over, to make you cry from pleasure as you bury your face in his neck.
Wanting you to hold on to him for dear life as you climax.
When he's finally comfortable enough and takes charge of his own sexuality, he'll be so needy.
Realising that the two nights he had sex with you were nothing compared to how good making love to you feels.
When you give up all control to him, letting him do to you as he wants, the pleasure is almost too much bear. The power he feels is palpable and knowing it is you who trusts him so much will drive him near mad.
He will lose control many times so you have a safe word.
You both think of the stupidest word possible as a safe word. Something that makes you both laugh when it's used.
He likes over stimulating you, making you beg and he'll kiss you to calm you.
"It's okay, you can do it, darling.", he'll say stroking you even further and kissing your tears.
"Does that feel good, my love?"
The more you beg the more he loves it.
He likes playing with your hands, holding them in his, touching your fingers, comparing them to his while you rest on his chest, still warm from him being inside of you.
Resting his head against your chest to hear your heartbeat.
Staring at your face and body intently. Taking in every little reaction you make and replaying them over in his head throughout the day.
Staring at you longingly when you're both with the squad, failing terribly at focusing in battle or conversation.
Getting aroused when you're covered in blood.
Seeing you fighting, in general, turns him on. The smell of your sweat, your rapid heart beat, the way your body moves, all of it now only reminds him of making love to you.
Telling you to say his name whenever he's feeling good and you'll chant it as you cum. He loves how it sounds from your lips.
Resting his forehead against yours as he's close to cumming.
"Look at me.", he'll command you.
He likes when your hands rake his hair, pull his hair, tug it whatever. That slight bit of pain arouses him. Better yet, if you bury your nails into his skin.
He likes to look at you falling asleep. It's such a gentle thing. How can someone so strong otherwise be so soft around him? Why him? Why did someone like you choose someone like him? He can't believe he has you.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/50833876/chapters/128419966 I am updating these hcs on my ao3, if anyone is interested!
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