#countryhumans new york

[xertel]

[ask-nyc-boroughs]

Some Hudson Valley holidays that occur in May ft. my idiots. Just wanted to draw some costumes ngl 💀. Anyways I’ll give some explanation to each of the little Polaroids cause ik most of these holidays aren’t well known.

Just a drawing of Emma celebrating Pinkster. I haven’t drawn Emma in years lolllll & I don’t work on her much anymore, but I thought she’d partake in the festivities. In this region, Pinkster is a Pentecost celebration brought over by the Dutch, but became more associated with the traditions brought over by enslaved Africans especially as their enslavers would allow them to travel and see their families and celebrate during this time. European settlers also partook in these festivities as well, but it just became more associated as an African-American holiday within New York & New Jersey.

Elise & Jennie being nice for a moment and taking a photo together lol, they probs went back to bickering after this cause they have issues 💀. Jennie is there cause this is her state capital, Elise was probably just invited cause she’s Jennie’s sister and both were alive during the Dutch colonial area. But anyways this is supposed to be them at Albany’s Tulip Festival. Tulip Fest began about 76 years ago celebrating Albany & Nijmegen’s friendship especially as the citizens of Albany raised significant funds and sent much needed supplies to Nijmegen following the Second World War. Also many Dutch-Americans in this area can trace their ancestry back to Gelderland. The Anyways Tulip Festival is a celebration of that friendship, but also of Albany’s Dutch heritage. The particular costumes Elise & Jennie are wearing is associated with the street sweeping ceremony + these costumes were only introduced to Albany 76 years ago. These are new here. Actually Emma & Will’s costumes are older.

Ok just a little silly doodle of Lynn giving Will a kiss during Pinkster.

[magicbluemoond20]

How SLO single handedly destroyed the USSR

well not really, mostly crack stuff, the main three cities, Angie, Fran and Diego

top one is unrelated other than LA x NYC

And the second one below is how the boys found Luis in 1822 bayonet for his birthday and accidentally running into the USSR himself who tries to teach SLO how to properly use the weapon and boom communist ended >:D

also based off of @universal-casey and her OC (Soviet)

[weirdestbooks]

The New Century (Wattpad | Ao3)

Turn of the century celebration, requested by @lost-islands

America could hardly believe it. This was not the first turn of the century he had lived through, but the first where he was an independent country. It was hard to believe that just twenty-four short years ago, he had declared independence, that he had become a country.

“You’ve changed a lot,” James said. America laughed.

“I suppose I have,” he said, looking back up at the stars from his newly built home in his capital.

“Dad, can we please go join the others at the party? Please?” Territory Northwest of the River Ohio, better known as Ohio due to his long name, asked. America sighed, looking back up at the sky, before making his way to the front door.

“Of course we can. I can’t deny you and Sippi a chance to hang out with your siblings after all,” America said, stepping inside.

“Daddy!” Tennesse said, running over and jumping into America’s arms. America laughed.

“Hey, Ness? How are you doing?” he asked. Tennesse had been a territory since 1790 but recently got statehood in 1796, meaning she had only recently reached her stable age of fourteen, something she always seemed to forget, with her habit of running at people and expecting them to be able to catch her. America had seen Rhode Island and Providence Plantations barreled over time and time again.

He was pretty sure some of the other New England states were encouraging it.

“Great! I’m so excited for this,” Tennessee said, burying her face in the crook of his neck. America laughed, feeling warmth well up in him. 

That was another thing he couldn’t believe about the past twenty years. His children. Right now, he has eighteen children; sixteen of them are states, and two of them are territories that live inside the little world in his mind. Learning about them, learning about James and Rebecca, was shocking at first, but it quickly grew to be one of the most extraordinary experiences of his life. 

He still felt an aching grief when he remembered all of those that he never got to talk to properly, who he never got to meet because he was choosing to remain ignorant to all of the colonies and people who shared a body with him.

It was his biggest regret.

But that’s why he did his best to spend time with his kids now. The ones he neglected and the ones he recently had. He loved them with every fiber of his being and couldn’t imagine hurting them, not the way his father—the way Britain hurt him. 

He had done it once when New Jersey and New York were fighting over their border. As soon as he did, he panicked, started crying, and apologized. It was too horrifying to even think about doing it. He didn’t understand how his father could have done that to him and his siblings.

He had experienced it once, with the United Colonies of New England, for those forty-three years they got together before his father’s Dominion of New England ended her life. America never resented his brother for that. At least, he tried not to. Every time he brought it up with his father, things got fuzzy; either his father took control, or James did.

James still refused to tell him what had gone down between Britain and him in those three years.

However, although he didn’t know it then, the New England colonies that existed within his mind wanted him gone and blamed him for the death of their sister. They were upset, and in turn, they convinced America to be upset. It was a confusing time. He didn’t know how he felt because so many people dictated how he should feel then.

That was a hard time, and America had never really considered how…terrible it was to hurt your children at that time, as he and New England both lived with Britain at that time. It wasn’t until independence that he realized.

So America held his second youngest daughter close and swore to be better, promising that she would never have the childhood he and his eldest (living) thirteen had. 

Whatever had happened in the past would stay in the past. America would have to do better from here.

He swore to.

“I’m glad you are. Now, let’s go join the others. I’m sure they’re missing us,” America said, putting Tennesse now and grinning as she skipped towards the kitchen.

“You are wrapped around their fingers,” James said, voice warm and fond.

“Shut up,” America responded, but there was no heat in his voice as he followed Tennesse into the living room.

“Happy turn of the century, Father!” Massachusetts said upon America’s entry to the room. America smiled at his eldest son as Vermont approached him, grabbing his hand and dragging him onto the couch. 

“It’s time you for to take a break. I know being a country, especially a new one, is stressful—”

“Is that why you became a state?” South Carolina cut in, causing his twin sister to start laughing. 

“Shut it! So, I know that it’s stressful, but you need a break,” Vermont finished. America laughed.

“Don’t worry. I already promised James, Mass, and Ginny that I would not be working at all today,” America said. Vermont smiled.

“Good. ‘Cause if you did, I was gonna get Kenny to help me hold you down,” Vermont joked.

‘America, please try and do some work. I want to see this,” James said.

“Well, James is interested in seeing that,” America commented. Vermont’s eyes lit up with excitement, and he turned to Kentucky.

“Hey, Ken! Get Papa!” Vermont yelled, prompting the first and only state to have never been a territory inside of America’s head prior to his birth to come running over, leaping into America’s lap.

“Oof. Hey Ken,” America said, looking down at his son, who beamed up at him.

“Hey, Pa! You’ve gotta stay. Ginny’s orders.” Kentucky said.

“And mine!” Massachusetts chimed in.

“Mainly Ginny’s,” Kentucky whispered, causing Ohio to begin laughing. 

“Triplets! Get out of the kitchen!” Virginia yelled, and America watched as New Jersey, New York, and Delaware all ran into the living room, crashing into Maryland.

“Mary! Are you alright?” America asked as Kentucky scooted off his lap, allowing him to stand up and walk over to his daughter, who gave him a shaky smile.

“I’m fine, Dad!” she said, standing back up with the help of Delaware, who gave her an apologetic smile.

“Good. Next time, be more careful, boys,” America said, turning to the three of them. New York and Delaware nodded, New Jersey joining them after a quick elbow to the ribs from New York.

“But if they were careful, they wouldn’t be them,” Pennsylvania said, leaving the kitchen with a smile on her face. 

“Now, food is ready, so unless you are planning on starving to death, come!” she said, gesturing for them to follow her into the dining room, which seemed to shrink each time America had a new child.

“At this rate, we’re going to need to eat all family meals outside or in a banquet hall,” James joked. America rolled his eyes.

“Banquet hall is a bit of an over-exaggeration, James. There’s only so much land left for me to turn into states,” America commented. New Hampshire let out a snort of amusement from behind him.

“You say that now, Dad, but you have no idea. What if you somehow get a bunch of land? Then you would have more land to make into siblings, and then we really will need a banquet hall,” New Hampshire dramatically declared. America just shook his head and rolled his eyes before taking a seat at the head of the table, Virginia to his right and Massachusetts sitting on the other side of the table.

America looked around the table, feeling pride well in his chest as he looked at all of his children sitting there: Virginia, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Maryland, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, New Jersey, New York, Delaware, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, and Kentucky. 

He thought of the two children and brother who shared a body with him.

America couldn’t help but smile.

He couldn’t wait to see what the nineteenth century had in store for them.

[usa-manors-library]

You Are _____ The Father

(A/N: This is an answer to an ask on my ask blog, @ask-the-usa-manor , but it got pretty lengthy! I wouldn't say it's the best quality since I intended it to be a much shorter blog post and not a full length oneshot, but at least it's fun. Enjoy the crack. So much crack. A substantial amount of crack. A boogie woogie amount, if I may be so bold. But. No real crack. Don't do crack. Do water. Stay hydrated. <3

Ft... LIGHTHEARTED WRITING BY EVE!?! 😱🤯🔥🥣🦆***NOT CLICKBAIT***)

America sighed, content with his world as he picked up his bowl. It was a perfect afternoon. Life wasn't always this easy, but right now, everything felt perfect. The silence was golden, and this quiet peace was a rare escape. One that he normally didn't care for, as he didn't usually like to hear his busy mind. But for whatever reason; right now he was content with it, and he was grateful.

Sunbeams. Silence. Serenity. Soup.

"IT'S HERE!!!"

...South Dakota.

From where he was in the kitchen, America heard a series of crashing noises follow the distant announcement, trailed by a string of Virginia's indignant scoldings.

America cringed inwardly as he heard Dak wave her off with a quick 'sorry.' 

Bad move. He must be really high spirited about something if he's brushing off Ginny's annoyance. A peeved Virginia was a force to be reckoned with. Everyone knows that.

Especially me, America shuddered, perhaps a little too over dramatically as he returned to his lunch, Some days it feels like she's my parent, not the other way around...

He heard the scolding intensify.

...Welp, not my problem, He shrugged, Godspeed, Dak.

If it were anyone other than Ginny, he might've stepped in. However, believe it or not; he was a smart man. Deep down. Deep down. Very, very deep down. Wayyyyyyyy deep down, there was a little. Tiny spark of intelligence. Shocking, he knows.

Smart men didn't get under Virginia's skin. There are less painful ways to murder your soul.

While America shuddered at the thought, the nearby garden door swung open.

"Dad!"

"Don't care, eating soup," America shrugged, taking another spoonful, "Do whatever. Just don't die."

New York (that's odd, he's never in New Jersey's territory- er, 'the garden') kicked his shoes off, "Was that Dak who pulled into the driveway?"

"No, it's your other brother who has a shrine of bumper stickers to Badlands national park and an eerily accurate bobblehead of Mount Rushmore on his dashboard."

New York looked like he was about to shoot something back, but stopped short as a muffled chant started up;

"York, York, York, York."

America slowly lowered his soup. The chanting was getting louder. New York was... seemingly fine with it?

"York, York, YORK, YORK!"

America let out a shaky sigh, "Why is it getting closer?"

"YORK, YORK, YORK!"

"What's happening?"

New York just grinned.

"...Will it harm my soup?"

New York shrugged, "Probably not."

"Good," America turned his attention back to his beloved lunch, "Then I don't care."

"YORK!" South Dakota threw the kitchen door open, waving an envelope in the air. Virginia was right on his heels, still glaring daggers at him.

"Dak! Dak-man. Cadilldak. Dakbook," New York grinned.

America's eyebrows shot up. New York smiling at the sight of one of his brothers screeching at him while bursting into the room?

...Who's going to die?

"It's here!" South Dakota repeated triumphantly, handing New York the mail, "The paternity test's here!"

America almost choked on his food as he broke into a coughing fit. Virginia stared at him.

"Great!" NY cackled, snatching the envelope and blatantly ignoring his dying father, "So, have you heard from Connecticut? Is everything ready on his end?"

"Don't ask me, I'm just the guy you bribed into picking this up."

"Smartass," New York shook his head, "Alright. Let's go, Dad."

"Pardon?" America wheezed out, placing his soup on the counter.

"What? All those wars and you're going to let a soup take you out?"

America knows flipping off his own son is wrong.

But damn.

Does he want to.

"I have several questions," He started, uncertain if he really wanted to have that knowledge.

"And they'll be answered," New York assured, "If you come with us."

America paused and took a moment to process the situation. He looked to Virginia for help. She lingered for a moment, before shaking her head and walking away. Not her job, not her struggle.

Meanwhile, hesitation was the entirely wrong response.

"Dak," New York deadpanned.

South Dakota nodded, "On it, chief."

SD dashed forward and, to America's horror, grabbed the bowl of soup before swiftly returning to the opposite side of the room.

America gaped at him. After a long moment, he regained his voice;

"...Dak-"

South Dakota tilted the bowl ever so slightly, threatening to spill the bowl's contents. America froze.

"...You wouldn't," He said sharply, a look of devastation and disbelief in his eyes. Disbestation? Devastelief?

Dak stared right back at him, "Would I?"

"What is he paying you?" America bargained desperately, "I'll double it! Just hand me the soup."

"Sorry, Pops. New York's paying me in free entertainment. I doubt you could top it."

"This is how you repay me?" America hissed, the searing knife of betrayal at the hands of is own sons twisting into the gut, "After I fed you? Put clothes on your back? Raised you-?"

South Dakota tilted the bowl a little more, the soup right against the edge.

America immediately raised his hands in surrender. South Dakota and New York exchanged grins.

"...Alright, alright," He inhaled sharply, "You win this time. Where are we going?"

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

Some days, America felt like his children were walking 'practice protection' ads. Very convincing 'practice protection' ads. This, was one of those days.

"When did you even...?" America glanced around, "...Get all of this?"

He was fairly certain he was on a stage, one decorated like a stereotypical talk show set. A vaguely familiar one, might he add. They must of modeled it after a real show.

A curtain was separating the stage from what he assumed was an audience. It worried him at first, before he picked out the voices and realized that they definitely belonged to his own kids. Then, it no longer worried him.

It terrified him.

South Dakota stood on the left wing, offstage and still holding America's soup hostage. He even put it in a prop cage he found in the back... America wondered if he could take legal action and put the 'sue' in soup.

"Well, we were originally expecting to use it for you," New York admitted, "Clearly, we still are, just... in a different way than anticipated."

New York motioned to one of the armchairs. America accepted the offer and sat down.

After a couple minutes, he closed his eyes. Maybe this is all a dream. Maybe he's still at home, with his leftover soup still in the fridge and ready to be reheated. Maybe-

Hearing three sets of new footsteps, America cracked his eyes open. 

Nope, not a dream, He determined, A nightmare.

"Blackmail?" America questioned the newcomer taking a seat across from him.

England looked severely annoyed as he huffed, "Scotland."

"Thought so," America nodded. He glanced at the other, "And you?"

"Fear of Wales," Britain answered lightly, "And your offspring."

"Which one?"

"That's a rather loaded question."

"Now then!" Connecticut clapped his hands together with a smile on his face, "We can get started."

The three countries present were incredibly unsure if the wanted that. They didn't even know what 'that' really is. Of course, nobody cares what they want. At the end of the day, they were outnumbered 3 to Lord knows how many.

"Yorkie," Connecticut held out his hand, "The results, please."

New York stared down Connecticut, making no move to hand him the envelope.

"I had him first," NY stated sharply, "I knew him before you. I get to be him."

"I had him last," Connecticut huffed, "I had the latest version of him."

"I had the classic."

"He wasn't born there."

"He wasn't born at your place either!"

America and Britain watched the argument like a tennis match, eyes darting back and forth between the two states.

South Dakota was recording the ordeal on his phone, which in hindsight was pretty useless considering California set up cameras for 'the aesthetic.'

England was trying his best to dissociate from the entire situation, glaring at the wall and wondering what different life choices he could've made to prevent any of this from even existing. 

"Fine then," New York grumbled, "If we want to stay on schedule... Where was Maury born?"

In an instant, the envelope was snatched from New York's hands. The two formerly arguing states stared in bewilderment at the man who slipped in under the radar.

Eyes glimmering, suit still on from work, District of Colombia beamed.

"...It's my time to shine."

Crickets.

This can't be real.

"...You said you weren't coming," Connecticut blinked, "You're always 'too busy' for this stuff."

DC shrugged, "A man's allowed to change his mind."

"So, you really want to host?" New York asked incredulously, looking DC up and down, "...You?"

"I can have fun too, dammit."

Connecticut and New York exchanged glances.

"...I mean," Connecticut conceded, "I don't see a problem with it." 

New York shrugged, "If there's one thing you've shown us through the decades, it's that sometimes your only gift is entertainment."

"Thank you," DC nodded curtly, "...Bi-"

"But," Connecticut cut in, "We're co-hosting."

"Sounds fine-"

"Don't even argue," New York interrupted, "We're older."

"I didn't-"

South Dakota checked his watch, "And we're on in three, two...!"

The stage curtains opened, revealing an audience mostly consisting of family members with nothing better to do today. Applause prompted by the blinking 'applause' sign eventually died down. It was relatively quiet, except for continued rapid clapping from...

America squinted, eyes still adjusting to the stage lights.

Iowa.

"Woo!" Iowa cheered. He leaned over to the seat right to him- Nebraska- and whispered, pointing to America, "I knew that guy in college, Neb."

"That's our father," Nebraska deadpanned, "You've known him since you were born."

A hand from the row behind them took advantage of the exchange and stole a clump of their popcorn unnoticed. Cayman Islands was now completely prepared for the dumpster fire of a show to start.

This caught Arkansas's eye, and he leaned over to the popcorn thief.

"What's your name again?"

"C-"

"AndcanIpleasehavesomeofyourpopcorn?"

"-ayman."

"Thanks!" Arkansas smiled brightly, taking a quarter of his cousin's spoils.

Cayman stared off into space. He has to stop falling for that crap one of these days.

"I'd applaud, but," Michigan shrugged apologetically as he stared at Britain, who offered him an awkward smile and tried not to make eye contact with his nephew's clear lack of right arm, "You know how it is."

"Hello ladies, gents!" Connecticut greeted, "All of you who don't deserve such respectable titles! Welcome to tonight's trash television episode, Are You the Father? to avoid copyright infringement! Thanks for coming out! Who's in the house tonight?"

"Well, Colorado's here, higher than the waist on DC's trousers, " New York jabbed, ignoring his the capitol's glare as a spotlight briefly shone on Colorado. Colorado simply threw a peace sign before the spotlight went to another person in the crowd, "England's dad Wessex is here, somehow still not dead. Great job, Gramps. Keep making England wish you were for the res of ust."

"Speaking of Wessex," DC added, "What a perfect way to Segway into business! Now, 1,096 year old England claims to be the father of 5,258 month old United States of America. But America's younger half-brother, Britain, has some doubts about the validity of his father's words."

"...I do?" Britain muttered to himself, confused.

"Yes! You do," Connecticut prompted, "Why is that, Britain?"

"Oh... Uh..."

For once in his life, Britain seemed reluctant to insult someone.

New York nudged him, "...You won't hear a peep from us for a month-"

In a flash, UK pounded the arm of his chair with his fist.

"F%^* THAT YANK," He bellowed, "THAT'S WHY."

A bleeping sound via Utah with a censorship button echoed from the stage speakers. He's not even supposed to be there, he volunteered 5 minutes before the show and when nobody answered him he made himself comfortable.

New York nodded his head, as if to say; 'Keep going.'

"...Well then," Britain continued, "He's a total piece of—"

Utah kept the bleeping up until it was all you heard when Britain opened his mouth. At this point, the country wasn't even swearing. He was just reading his grocery list aloud.

"@%*% +^%{%]* +#^]*^{^[+ *]+}+!|]!,¥\+[+@&/!" Britain finished, "If that wasn't bad enough, he's a TWO DOZEN EGGS—"

"Thank you, Britain. I think that's all Utah can handle for now. He gets physically sick when he has to censor someone," DC elaborated.

"I mean, just look at him," New York motioned to the offstage unnaturally pale Beehive State, "Frail Victorian child lookin' mother—"

Utah shot him a warning look. 

"—'s favorite child who we all appreciate. And who might need to hand the remote to Nevada before he passes out—"

"So. England," Connecticut moved on, "You're the only person here who currently knows if America's your real son, or if you just snatched him Russian-Empire-and-Finland style. Anything to say on that?"

"Thank you for giving me the final push I needed to decide that a restraining order's mandatory," England solemnly answered.

The three hosts exchanged glances. They really didn't have the legal team to handle this. At least they didn't think so, considering their legal team was Rhode Island with a baseball bat.

"America," DC immediately continued, looking at the third victim- Ehm, 'guest'- his father.

America's eyebrows climbed up as he slowly turned to face DC, "...What did you just call me?"

"Right, sorry," DC quickly backtracked, "Terribly unprofessional of me Mr. United States, sir."

"That's not what I..." America gave up halfway into his sentence and simply sighed, "...Never mind. When can I get my soup back?"

"How does it feel to possibly be fatherless?"

"When can I get my soup back?"

"Want to expand on your answer?"

"When can I get my soup back?"

"I see. How does that make you feel?"

"Hungry. When can I get my soup back?"

"Is that hunger for the truth about who your father is?"

America stared at him like he was an idiot. To be fair, we don't have the evidence to disprove that claim.

"It's hunger," He explained at a tortoise's pace, leaning forward in his chair, "For. Soup."

"Interesting."

"Chicken. Noodle."

"Ah," DC awkwardly nodded, "That's a good one."

"I ask. For so little."

America held eye contact with the capitol for an uncomfortably long amount of time without blinking.

NY leaned over to Connecticut.

"...I can't believe I'm saying this," He muttered, "But we may need to cut the musical number."

After a couple extra moments of watching the scene in front of him, Connecticut acquiesced.

"Cut the musical number," Connecticut approved, "This is only a pre-show, I doubt the audience would care. Get to the results before he starts crying."

"Which one?" New York huffed, "They both look pretty friggin' close to tears."

"Yes."

On the edge of them, really. Neither of them looked like they wanted to be in this situation, and District of Colombia came here willingly. 

"Washdistbia!" New York called over, "Stop trembling like a half-drowned kitten and wrap it up!"

Somehow, DC was able to drag himself out of the numbing paralyzation he found himself in and managed to look away from the haunting stare of America.

"Right," He answered shakily, "On to the results. In the case of 5,258 month old USA-"

"It's okay to say 438 years old, I can take it-"

"Englad, you are..."

Everyone watched in silence as he made an effort to open the letter.

It took him a solid three minutes.

It was a regular paper envelope.

"...Missing out on our new discounts! Get a brand NEW Ford F-150 for 30%-" DC blinked.

He read the paper. Then reread it. Then read it once more.

He glanced in the envelope again. Nope, nothing else. Just amazing deals for this autumn brought to yOU BY THE EVER AMERICAN [EAGLE SOUND] FREEDOM INFUSED-

Utterly lost, he looked to the others.

"...What the hell is this?" He asked, lifting up the 'results' in question.

A murmur of 'don't look at me's fell upon the stage and audience. Backstage, South Dakota cursed under his breath.

"I knew I should've asked them to stop mailing me my coupons," Dak sighed.

What.

"You get your junk mail from..." Connecticut took a deep breath, "The paternity testing lab?"

"Yeah," Dak admitted nonchalantly, "My grandma lives there."

America looked up hopefully, "Mom?"

"NO-"

Abruptly, the outro music started blasting. Without uttering a sound, England stood and walked away stage left. He hates you all. Especially Aili.

"...Well, that was... that," New York checked the time on his phone, "I'm going to take my seat and... pretend like I didn't just waste my afternoon."

It took America 0.5 seconds to practically hurl South Dakota out of his way so he could reclaim his soup. 

Britian rushed... away. Simply away. He is gone. He will not return. Everyone wave goodbye. Goodbye, Britain. He's free. Freedom. He's free. F r e e...

Ish.

"Goodnight everyone!" Connecticut bid with a wave, following the others off the stage, "Enjoy Florida on I Can't Believe It's Not Dr. Phil!"

──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────

"...How'd you get my DNA, anyway?"

"You're a heavy sleeper after you cry. Pretty easy to get after Homeward Bound."

(A/N: I want soup.)

[ask-the-usa-manor]

Question to any &/or all of America's kids who are now/have been parents. How much, if at all, has your perspective on America changed now that you've experienced having a kid yourself.

“I mean— I love my kids and such, but—” New York turned to America, “How are you not dead?”

America smiled blankly, “I have no idea!”

“I personally think you died a long time ago. And he’s,” Illinois waved back to Florida, “Your eternal punishment.”

“I like to think you’re all my eternal punishment,” America shrugged, “Of sorts. :)”

[bro0klyn3]

Russia: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!? Amercia : Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Amercia : *closes a cabinet* *a crash is heard behind the cabinet door* Britain: What was that? Amercia : The sound of someone else's problem.

Amercia : Britain told me to stop being immature, so I told them to get out of my fort.

New York: Are you drinking enough water? Amercia : Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

Russia: So, I've been thinking Amercia - Amercia : That's dangerous.

Taiwan: What is the most illegal thing you can do with one gold? China: Exchange it for a hundred copper, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.

*Que China chasing Taiwan*

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

HERE’S AN ANGST REVOLUTIONARY WAR FIC FOR YALL ABOUT HOW JERSEY NEARLY DIED-

How Jersey nearly died:

(This took place after the Battle of Trenton)

It was a cold December night when New Jersey decided to take a walk through the dark woods to get to his house (that was for some reason in the middle of f**king nowhere-). He needed to get home to patch up a few wounds that he had received during the Battle of Trenton and get some rest. After about half an hour of walking, he stopped in a clearing when he heard the sound of a twig snapping behind him.

"Is somebody there?" He called out. There was no answer. "Hello?" He called out again, but still no answer. He just shrugged and continued walking. About 10 minutes later, he heard the same sound again.

"Hel-" He started as he turned around, but he stopped talking halfway through when he saw what had been following him this whole time. His heart started racing as he backed up a few steps.

"Hello, my dear son." England said with a sneer that quickly turned into a cruel smile. There he stood (well- not exactly seeing as he was on horseback), the a-hole himself, along with two other British soldiers on horseback, all three of them wielding a rifle and a sword.

"Wha- What do you want?" Jersey asked, trembling slightly due to fear and the fact that it was December at night.

"Now, now I raised you better than that~ As for why I am here, I heard about your little… attack earlier today." England with faux sadness that quickly returned to his usual cruel smile that sent shivers down the spine of the colony in front of him. "I’ve got to say, I’m quite disappointed in you." He hopped down from his horse and snapped his fingers, and then the two guards hopped off their horses as well. The two soldiers ran at Jersey and grabbed him by the arms, and preventing him from being able to escape from them.

The Garden State struggled a bit and tried to escape, but alas he couldn’t. He looked back at his father confused, only for all the color in his face drain when he saw that England had a whip, chain, and bayonet in his hands. He started struggling again as his father walked over to him.

…

…

The next evening:

New York had been instructed to go check up on his brother, seeing as they hadn’t heard from him since the night before. So here he was; riding horseback through a dark creepy forest on a cold December evening. He wrapped his jacket further around himself and shivered a bit. ‘Ugh… whyyyyy…. Wait- what is that?’ York thought to himself as he stumbled upon some random house/cabin. He decided to investigate, thinking that maybe Jersey had decided to just stop there instead of going the entire way to his house in the cold.

He tied his horse to a random nearby tree and walked into the house. He took a look around; it seemed like a cozy little place, and there were even a few lanterns hanging on the walls, though it seemed to be kinda messy and was that… BLOOD ON THE FLOOR-?! This was kinda concerning to York, so he sped up his search. He went through a few different rooms before finding the one Jersey was in. Except he didn’t find him in the way he hoped to have found him…

"JERSEY!"

He ran over to where his brother was, all the color drained from his face. Jersey was laying cold and unconscious on the floor, surrounded by blood. York looked over Jersey’s body a bit carefully and physically cringed at how bruised and bloody he was. There was a puddle of blood under his head and another leaking out from under Jersey’s jacket, which was stained with blood. York reached a hand over to Jersey’s neck to check for a pulse, and was surprised when he found a small pulse and how cold he was. He tried shaking the older to wake him up, which slowly but surely, he did start waking up.

"Y-York…?" Jersey said quietly, immediately coughing and whimpering after.

"Shhh..ur alright… Yea it’s me. What the h*ll happened?" York responded quietly. He moved his hand from Jersey’s shoulder to his knee, but then instantly moving his hand away when the let out a small yelp/cry. He looked over and his jaw dropped when he saw what seemed to be half of his brother’s bayonet shoved in his knee and the other half laying next to him. "Why the f**k do you have half a bayonet shoved in your damn knee?!"

"E-England h-h-happened…." Jersey responded, but his voice was really quiet and cracking due to lack of use and pain.

"HE DID THIS TO YOU?!" York yelled, but lowering his voice when Jersey flinched and raised his arm to cover his face. F**k England… He took off his jacket and draped it over Jersey’s body. He picked up his brother and walked outside to his horse, where he put Jersey in front of where he would be sitting. He untied the horse and mounted it. "Aight Jers. You know this place betta’ than I do, so I’m gonna need yous to tell me who’s land is closest to here, and what direction we have to go."

"P-Penn’s house is c-closest to here i-if we are where I t-think we are…"

"So east?"

"Y-yea…"

"Ok. Try to stay awake and don’t you dare die on me. If yous die, I’m gonna kill ya."

"I-I’ll t-try…" Jersey said with a slight chuckle that quickly turned into a choked whimper. York adjusted the older to be closer to him for warmth and then started to Pennsylvania’s house.

…

When they got there:

York hopped off the horse and gathered Jersey in his arms after tying his horse to a post. He ran to Penn’s shed where he heard his voice and what sounded to be Mass, Delaware, and Virginia. He knocked on the door and was greeted by Penn who let him after taking one look at the bloody beaten colony in his arms.

"Woah what the f(speaks Boston) happened?!" Mass asked/shouted.

"First off, lower ya damn voice. Second, England happened. What it seems like, is England found him, beat the living s(speaks northeast) out of him and left him there in the cold to die." York said, taking the blanket that Virginia offered him and wrapping it around himself and Jersey, whom he was still holding. He let Mass take Jersey from his arms and set him on a mat that Penn had placed on the ground.

"Can yous explain wth happened? Ya don’t hafta to right now if you don’t feel like it, but ya need to tell us at some point." Mass said as he took

"Godd*mn…." Mass muttered under his breath as he looked over his twin’s injuries and removed his jacket. Jersey started to slowly stir awake and blink his eyes open. "Hey dumb**s, good to see ya alive I guess." Mass said, putting a hand on his twin’s head and running a gentle hand through his hair. He managed to get Jersey’s jacket off without hurting him too badly.

"Good to see ya too… w-where am I?" Jersey asked.

"Yer at my house, well- in my shed." Penn said, walking over and kneeling down next to the injured colony opposite of Mass. "It’s honestly a wonder that you’re still alive after what looks like a beating that was meant to kill you."

"Yea even I was surprised." York piped up from the back.

"Can ya tell us what happened? Ya don’t hafta right now, but you need to at some point. And Jesus Christ is that ur rifle shoved in your knee?!" Mass said, shouting a bit when he saw the bayonet in his brother’s leg (PS: it was the blade end of a bayonet).

"Wellllll- half of it at least….?" Jersey said with a face that had "well maybe…?" written all over it.

Mass sighed. "That doesn’t exactly make it better!"

"I know. As for what happened… Well; I was walking home after the battle, and I don’t know how, but E-England found me in the middle of that clearing that we always hang out in along with two redcoats. Next thing I know, the two guards have a hold of me and England has a whip, chain, and his rifle in his hands. After that everything went dark. I woke up in some random house with England standing in front of me with the whip and rifle. And then started beating me w-with it… and the rifle. That continued for a while and the last thing t-that I r-remembered seeing before going unconscious was him jamming my gun in my knee and snapping it in half… I’m gonna guess that some of the bruising was from the chains cuz’ that’s what he used to knock me out before beating whatever bejeezus I had left out of me…"

There was silence throughout the entire room.

"G-guys?" Jersey said, uncomfortable with the deafening silence.

"Ima kill im’."

"Mass no!" Virginia shouted, grabbing Mass by the arm to keep him from leaving.

"Don’t tell me what to do! Look what he did to my brother!! He’s gotta pay!" Mass shouted back as he tried to twist his way out of Virginia’s grasp.

"I understand, and we will get revenge eventually. We are in the middle of what could be the biggest revolution in history after all. But right now, your brother needs you." Virginia said, putting a hand on the smaller’s shoulder.

"Fine…" Mass said, shaking his wrist a bit when Virginia let go. He walked over to his brother started to help patch him up. When he finished with everything else, it was now time to pull the gun out of his brothers knee. He helped his brother sit up against one of the posts in the shed so that Penn could pull out the gun.

"Aight Jersey. This is probably the most painful part of this whole thing, so I’m gonna need you to tell me whether you want me to knock you out or not." Pennsylvania said, putting a hand on Jersey’s good leg.

"I’ll be fine. Please just pull it out so we can get this over with."

"Ok…" Penn said. He put his hand on Jersey’s knee and grabbed the bayonet with the other. With one swift pull he yanked it out, muttering an apology when the other let out a small cry and whimpered. He quickly used a nearby rag to help stop the bleeding, and ten minutes later they had Jersey’s leg wrapped up in a bandage. Around twenty minutes later, they all went to sleep somewhat peacefully. At least, more peacefully than they have in a long time….

[americas-orphanage]

How did the first thirteen colonies get there?

“Let’s see here…” America trailed off, shuffling through a pile of old looking papers.

•·················•·················•·················•·················•

Virginia: Both parents perished in Jamestown, unable to survive the incredibly new colony’s winter. New Hampshire: Abandoned by mother who didn’t want to be associated with a child born out of wedlock. Massachusetts: Mother accused of being a witch and executed. Father- who accused his lover of witchcraft in the first place— left him due to believing he was a witch’s son. Maryland: Lost parents in the Plundering Time to an unknown fate; got separated from them during the takeover of the capitol. Connecticut: Mother tragically passed away during birth. A couple years later, Connecticut’s father died in the Pequot War. Rhode Island: Fell sick and parents thought he wouldn’t live even a couple days after he was born, so they abandoned him in a woods near America’s house; not being able to bear the thought of seeing him dead. North & South Carolina: Uncle couldn’t afford to take care of his late sister’s two children, and unable to bring himself to separate them; left them at a home he knew would be able to keep them together and take care of them well. Delaware: Father left when Delaware was five to marry his mistress; mother, in her outrage, blamed Delaware for annoying him to the point where he wanted to leave. Continued to for years until she realized she was in the wrong. Instead of fessing up and making amends; she abandoned him, feeling as if she was irredeemable (mostly out of laziness tbh). New Jersey & New York: Grandparents frankly thought their grandkids were complete menaces to society and gave up on them deciding they didn’t want to be bothered. Pennsylvania: Was a (very) young apprentice of a blacksmith, but because of disagreements and quarrels with his mentor’s sons, they let him go. He couldn’t find another apprenticeship due to them either being full or not trusting him due to his old mentor bad-mouthing him. Realizing he doesn’t want to live on the streets, he looked for a new home and ran into America. Georgia: Parents both fell incredibly ill, and in their fear that their daughter might catch it, they sent her away. They intended it to be temporary, and that they’d pick her up when feeling better, but they both passed within a year.

[weirdestcountryhumans]

Countries and Connections

This is a post that is just going to explore the many ways by which countryhumans are connected to their colonies through a bond that they share.

It's a bit long, so the headcanon is under the cut. I have also added this to my website.

The critical thing to remember is the bonds shared between countryhumans and their subdivisions is that the way they feel the bond is entirely dependent on the personality of the countryhumans whose land they are a part of, so I have a few examples I’m going to explain just to set out the general idea. If there are any not on this list you would like to see, shoot me and ask, and I will explain it.

AMERICA AND HIS STATES

As bonds are determined by the country’s personality, America’s adoration of his children has made their bond feel like a blanket wrapped around them. To many states, this bond feels warm and safe, and many of them often lean into it for comfort. It’s like when it’s a cold day outside, and you wrap yourself up in a blanket and lie down in your bed, warm and comfortable. 

However, while the bond they share is primarily positive, like all bonds between country and subdivision, it can turn harsh and oppressive. While blankets can be a source of comfort and warmth, they can also become hot and suffocating, which is how that bond can turn. Most of the time, this comes about when America is mad at a state, and they can feel the comfortable warmth of the blanket getting hotter and hotter and suffocating. In a way, it is a survival instinct, telling them when to turn back and stop doing whatever it is that they are doing that is causing their country so much anger. This is also completely unintentional on America’s part, as he does not control this bond, and instead, it just reacts to him.

Although all his subdivisions, states and territories, feel this bond, most are unaware of the strength of it, as they have lived their entire life with it. They subconsciously tune out a lot of the bond; to them, it is just a fact of their lives. However, some states and territories are more aware of it than others. 

USVI, Puerto Rico, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Delaware, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, and North Carolina were all colonies of other empires before joining the USA, so bonds have been a natural part of their lives. However, America is very different than the bonds of their original nations, so they are aware of it more due to this difference. The kind of bond changed, and ergo they are more aware of it. The former Confederate states are also more aware of it due to their brief life as a part of the CSA.

To continue this talk of Confederate States, South Carolina, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, and Texas were all briefly independent before forming the CSA, meaning all of them know what it is like to not have the bonds of a nation on them. Texas especially, as he was an independent country before even being an American. The same goes for the states of California, Vermont, and Hawaiʻi, each with their histories of being independent countries. 

It is a bond that is very diverse and fluctuating but one that is relatively positive in comparison to other bonds.

BRITAIN AND HIS COLONIES

Britain is controlling. That comes to no one’s surprise. And, like how America’s adoration of his kids affected his bond, Britain’s controlling nature affects how his bond feels.

His colonies will argue a lot about how it feels. Some feel that it is chains on their soul, their arms, and legs, keeping them chained to his side and his empire. Some feel more like it is just ropes that tie them to Britain, but never ones that tie around specific body parts of anything. How they interpret it depends on whether they were an independent nation before their colonization and how strongly Britain tries to control them. The more he tries to pull them closer, the more that rope-like bond turns into chains. 

It was not always something that felt negative for the colonies, as most did not know life without it and thought that it was natural. However, the bond would often feel choking and oppressive, even as they argued that it was good.

When Britain got mad, that was when the bond really became noticeable. Chains became spiked, ropes tightened until they burned, and the colony was left with an oppressive wave of fear that choked them into silence like a noose tightening around their neck. Britain knew this and abused the bond to keep them quiet and docile.

For countries that came under Britain’s control, they were constantly aware of the bond, especially the more they were mistreated and/or hated it. Ireland always felt like chains were on his wrists (once Britain took power, that is, England’s original bond with Ireland felt different), even when nothing was there. He would feel that feeling almost every day up until his independence. It is very dependent on how willingly they joined him, however, and how their personal relationship was defined. 

The bond was definitely marked more by personal emotions than political ones, and it always varied in terms of chains vs. rope on how much Britain believed they needed to be controlled.

FRANCE AND HER COLONIES

France’s bond with her colones is like a storm, a force of nature that rages between them. Bonds are not physical things and, therefore, do not need to be connected by a physical feeling. France, a force of nature in her own right, would not manifest a bond in any other way. To her colonies, they often feel the bond as a gentle rainfall, leading to them being able to define France’s moods based on the weather.

She is not happy; she’s a rainstorm. She’s not angry; she’s a thunderstorm, and so on and so forth (I might put together a list of weather events and how they correlate to her emotions.)

It can be a bit hard to describe this bond when compared to the very psychical and controlling aspect of Britain’s bond, but that is indeed the point. Britain seeks control of his colonies, America seeks to care for them, and France is a force of nature her colonies must contest with. That is not to say she doesn’t care for them; she does, but she is just so bold, brash, and argumentative in her personality that she is far from the stereotypical depiction of a caring mother.

When she is angry, the bond turns into a storm that can decimate land and buildings, a storm that is directed at the colony of her ire and meant to bring them to her knees. France does not expect total control as Britain does, but she still expects those under her to be on their knees and swear loyalty. When she is happy with them, it is like a gentle rainfall after a long drought, the kind of feeling meant to bring about gratitude and thankfulness.

SPANISH EMPIRE AND HIS COLONIES

Spanish Empire’s bond with his colonies is like a cord connecting him to his colonies. Not a rope, not a chain, just a cord tying them together. Since Spanish Empire was not the most involved with his colonies, the cord was not often affected by his emotions, just sitting there and reminding everyone of their connection. Because of this, most colonies did not feel the bond until they started declaring independence.

There was the exception of New Spain, who adored Spanish Empire and borderline worshipped him, so he was always aware of the bond as he tried to wrap it tighter and tighter around himself, but he was the exception.

When Spanish Empire became upset with its colonies, the cord would tighten, but never to a degree that felt painful to them. Spanish Empire cared deeply about its family and never wanted to hurt them. So, his bond reflected that idea and remained just a reminder that they were his colonies, but never as a form of punishment like some countries used their bond.

RUSSIAN EMPIRE AND HIS COLONIES

Russian Empire’s bond with his colonies is like a warm fire in the cold, a light, and heat that those near to it will cling to as a source of heat and strength. Russian Empire was not a very loving or affectionate man, and he saw his colonies more as something to use than their own individual people, which made this bond unique. As Russian Empire had no strong feelings to contribute to the bond, the bond’s feelings were, in fact, made up of how his colonies felt about him. 

To his colonies, he was a good man who looked after them, and since they were both places up north, they viewed that through the lens of something that helps in the cold, a fire, and that was what the bond manifested as. A nice fire that got warmer the closer they were to Russian Empire, as well as when he was happy with them.

When he is angry, the fire goes out. No warmth. No light. No heat. Just a bitter wind and biting cold that freezes you in place under his icy gaze as the cold penetrates your very being. Bitterly cold, his anger is. Even if they were surrounded by real fire or in the hottest place on earth, his colonies would still feel frigid to their very core. It doesn’t affect their body's health, but to them, they are in danger of freezing.

His colonies will do a lot to preserve that warm feeling. It is very reflective of the situation many of his colonies were in, where they loved Russian Empire, but he did not care if he needed to leave them to die.

[lordvonbunnyv]

List of things that were supposed to happen in my scrapped countryhumans talent show fanfic

-Hawaii does an Elvis impersonation and performs blue suede shoes

-Hungary spends the entire show trying to solve a Rubik’s cube. When his five minutes on stage ended, they just moved him off to the side so he can continue. He doesn’t solve it

-Poland and Vatican’s talent was performing Exorcisms, and brought a possessed woman on stage to exorcise, but got kicked off immediately by UN. So they begrudgingly decided to perform their exorcism in the boys bathroom, which got stopped halfway through by both UN and ASEAN who understandably did not want a demon running around on the Asian country’s section of the building. Oh yeah, in my ch AU, Poland was a priest and was trained in demonology by Vatican and is certified to perform exorcisms.

-Northern Ireland and England dressed as their secret drag queen personas, along with Wales who dressed in her drag king persona, and they all “danced” (it was mostly them doing uncoordinated dance moves like the worm, the running man, and the epileptic octopus.) to Scotland’s bagpipe playing. And then they all jumped onto each other’s shoulders and fell over.

-Serbia’s performance of a Diss song that she composed that mostly made up of her playing an accordion and dissing all of the countries that have wronged her, or she hates, both past and present. The big finale was when she started insulting Ottoman empire and calling him names, when both Turkey and Ottoman Empire jumped up and chased her around the auditorium while she continued to hurl insults at them, both EU and UN had to chase after the trio to get them to stop.

- a few of the African countries put on “Africa” by Toto.

-America’s western states do a crummy half hearted line dance to “finally Friday”, the northern states perform “Blame Canada”, and New York performs a Broadway number (unfortunately… his song of choice was “springtime for Hitler”) they were all supposed to do a group number, but split due to creative differences.

-Mexico played a quiet folk song on his guitar which was well received.

-Austria played a classical piano piece with Germany as the page turner, Germany fumbles with the pages causing the pages to fall onto the floor, Austria playing the same measure over and over in a panic as Germany struggled to collect all of the pages before giving up, and running off stage in embarrassment.

-France and a few of her states perform “do you hear the people sing?” While Normandy performs “bring him home”

-Austria-Hungary with help from German empire performs a classical music piece, but then gets interrupted by someone’s phone.

-Italy sings a song and then ends it with a sudden cart wheel.

-India, Brazil, Kenya, and Australia bring a VERY VERY DANGEROUS AND HIGHLY VENOMOUS BLACK MAMBA ON STAGE to demonstrate their venomous snake handling skills, they tried to get someone to come on stage to HOLD THE SNAKE. But that got nixed real quickly.

-Mauritius does a dance with his cloned dodo bird, Captain Lewis, which then walked off stage and fell into the audience.

-Britain gets introduced on stage as “performing a nice number by Bach”, he has his suit on, a top hat, and everyone thinks, “oh, he’s going to play the number on his violin”. Nope, he lowers his tie, tucks his pants inside his big, tall, platform boots, and unbuttons his collar to reveal the spiked collar underneath, and whips out his old electric guitar and plays friggin’ toccata and fugue in D minor like a legend.

- Norway, Denmark, Finland, Sweden, and Estonia try to do a Black Death metal performance with their band, “Estonia and the Nordics”. It was just them screaming, banging on their instruments, and smashing their guitars while Estonia, the lead singer, gets a bout of anxiety and stands awkwardly on the stage looking at her feet unable to sing.

-Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, and China tried to perform the dance of the little swans (Russia’s idea, no one else wanted to) but only Russia practiced and China was a last minute edition as Kazakhstan quit that day, and not even one second into the music, the whole thing dissolved into a massive fight and Belarus running offstage to go snitch to Soviet Union.

[xertel]

contributing to the statehumans content by posting an ungodly amount of ny and florida doodles

[lastchancestardomm]

I'm wondering, well, more like confused.

For those you don't know, I have a TF2 OC named Ana Ivanova. She is sixteen, from Estonia, and has three other siblings. Her oldest sibling, and brother, Aleksander-Erik; her older sister, and a sociopath, Maria; and her little "brother", Olev.

The reason Olev is called her, air quotes, "brother" is explained in her backstory. I probably should unprivate that, but I started venting halfway through writing it and I'm not comfortable revealing that information.

Matter of fact, the only reason she's Estonian is because at one point I got really obsessed with Countryhumans, and especially Estonia, because I liked the flag's color palette.

Where was I again? Oh, yeah, I am only just now writing how she interacts with the comics storyline and all the lore surrounding that.

I know that once Mann Co fires all the Mercenaries, Ana is dumped onto the streets and becomes a ragamuffin, and is only found after she tries to pick-pocket Demoman while he's in his civilian disguise.

What does this have to do with me being confused? Well, since Ana is her own class (even if I refer to her pretty much by only her name, even the Mercs do so to when when I write my fics) she is her own class.

She's the Kid. Based on the young boys who faked their ages to fight in World War I, she's an even more annoying version of Scout. She is faster than him, but most of her weapons have pitiful range and damage. In practice, you would be better off spitting at your screen to deal damage. She also would have very little HP in practice too.

She also has her own special ability, "Duck 'N' Dodge". The theoretical description for this ability would be "Duck out of the way of enemy bullets, and dodge under structures other classes can't reach".

Yes, I gave her a goddamn combat roll! But she was based on the way I used to play Splatoon, where I loved Dualies because they reminded me of Pico (y'know, the Friday Night Funkin' version), and stacked Run Speed Up because I fucking sucked and preferred to run away from any opponents. She's heavily based on Inklings from Splatoon, too.

Enough of that! I was going to say I was conflicted on whether or not to add a "classic version" of her. Of course, it'll be someone different, but I was conflicted.

I already have a character in the works, Kennedy Pacht, who is the classic Kid. She had originally ran away from her former home, found refuge with the Classics thanks to Classic Medic, and basically has erased all trace of herself from the world. She is also originally from New York, but her family moved to New Mexico.

Back to the comics, this is just me braindumping, I also wanted to make Kennedy actually Maria (Ana's sister) in disguise. She wanted to put the last nail in the coffin, be the straw that broke the camel's back, drag Ana through the mud– all the torture in the dungeon!

Edit: What the fuck I never finished this. I don't think I even was aware of what I was writing.

[eccentrickleptomaniac]

you mentioned having a human au, so how does it generally work? or like a specific character from it you wanna talk about :)

the human au is pretty much completely disconnected from the countryhumans.. the only similarity really is the initials of the human's full names and the countries' usernames.

all countries in this au live (almost) normal lives in new york city. the primary reason i chose the location was due to it's history of being an ethnic melting pot and therefore being a reasonable location where so many different people with different backgrounds could meet up and interact with eachother on a semi-daily basis. i also know a lot the city and it's history which makes the whole thing easier for me to write about.

countries aren't assigned to boroughs like the are to continental cities in the ch world and are instead placed in locations with large populations of the countries' primary ethnicity; i.e poland lives in greenpoint (i almost wrote greenport sorry. she does not live in long island), ussr and his 2 children live in brighton beach, and so on and so forth.

obviously major events like whole wars can't happen (aside from like, street wars and whatever but i don't get into those for my own sake) so major events such as those get scaled down heavily to city-wide crime sprees and whatever. i still try to make events semi-parallel to the ch versions so LOL. some major things do change though. including the fact that italy is not in the picture at all due to being in witness protection lmfao

character's personalities are also different due to the differences in culture between ch and people. like, poland is much kinder in the au due to the fact that she actually had to get a diagnosis for gender dysphoria and due to that kinda also had to work through her personal problems.

the years of the au is probably between the late 90s to now? im not sure the details. however the time period in history in which the au is currently in is.. I'd say around mid-70s or something like that. instead of being actively hostile eg and wg straight up don't know eachother. they don't live near eachother (completely different boroughs actually. wg lives on the upper east side and eg lives in. i already said it but brighton beach. aka the far side of brooklyn) and their schools, while much closer, aren't to the point where. Well they'd actually see eachother a lot. also they'd continue living separate lives instead of reunification.

countries with different cctlds that are still children have their first and middle name be the cctld instead of first and last. also some don't use their cctlds at all.. i use the "eg" acronym instead of "dd". eg's name is elizabeth lol

hope this explains some stuff. feel free to ask questions!

edit: also certain things dont happen or just. are edited severely. some countries while annexed move out of nyc and come back after a few years to represent being un-annexed

[weirdestbooks]

as well as a oneshot on some little bird kids learning to fly.

i

Flight Lessons (Wattpad | Ao3)

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Delaware asked, watching his twin from the bottom of the small cliff.

“Of course it is! Birds can fly, so why can’t I?” New York responded.

“Yeah, but you aren’t a bird, dumbass. You’re a state,” New Jersey snarked from beside Delaware.

“We’re bird states! Wales can fly, so we can too!” Pennsylvania said from beside New York. Both of the states had been born with wings from their seal, and both were eager to see if they could fly. While their dad had forbidden them to do it without him, Massachusetts, or Virginia, they snuck off and found a place to practice. With New Jersey, Maryland, and Delaware there for moral support, of course.

“I hope you crash, Penn!” Maryland yelled. Pennsylvania grinned and took a running start before leaping off the cliff. Her wings caught her, and she began gliding.

“Yes! Yes, I did it!” Pennsylvania cheered before crashing into a tree, groaning as she became tangled in the branches. Maryland began laughing, and Delaware winced.

“You okay, Penn?” New Jersey asked. Pennsylvania groaned before sticking a thumb in the air. New Jersey nodded as Delaware took the thumbs up as a cue to start laughing.

“Your turn, Yorkie!” Maryland called up at New York as her laughter calmed down.

“Watch and learn, Penny! This is how we fly, and look where we are going,” New York said patronizingly as Pennsylvania climbed out of the tree. Pennsylvania stuck her tongue out at her brother, who just laughed.

New York then got his running start, preparing for his own first flight. He quickly caught himself and began gliding, swerving to avoid the trees. Unfortunately, that seemed to throw him off balance, and his glide became wobbly.

New York flapped his wings, trying to regain balance, but his inexperience won out, and he tilted to the side, falling to the ground with a loud thud.

“Shit!” Delaware cursed, rushing over. New York was blinking up at the sky, face dazed. His breaths were short and ragged, and he clearly had had the wind knocked out of him. “Deep breaths, Yorkie, deep breaths.”

New York’s breaths eventually evened out, and he let out a little chuckle.

“That wasn’t fun,” he said before shooting a mischievous grin at Pennsylvania, “But at least I was able to watch where I was going.”

“Yeah, 'cause that worked out well for you,” Pennsylvania snarked back. New York rolled his eyes, standing up and flexing his wings.

“Nothing’s broken, only bruised, so I think I’m ready to try again,” New York said. Maryland raised an eyebrow.

“Try again? After that fall?” she asked. New York shrugged.

“Gotta fall to fly,” he answered.

“Wow. That made you sound almost intelligent,” New Jersey snarked.

“I thought you were going to be here for moral support.”

“Moral support, mocking you, same thing, really,” New Jersey answered with a shrug. New York rolled his eyes and walked away, heading back up the small trail they had made up to the top of the tiny little cliff.

“You trying again, too?” Delaware asked, turning to Pennsylvania. She nodded.

“Can’t let New York outdo me,” she said cheerily before following New York up the path. Delaware, Maryland, and New Jersey back away from New York’s crash site, heading back to their spot under the trees.

“Anyone else getting a little bit worried that those two are going to hurt themselves?” Maryland asked. New Jersey and Delaware both made noises of agreement, and Maryland nodded. “Okay. Glad it’s not just me.”

The three states watched as New York and Pennsylvania threw themselves off the cliff side again and again, staying in the air longer each time. They stayed there long into the day until the sun began to set.

“We better head back now! We’re breaking enough rules as it is. Let’s not give Da a reason to come after us,” Delaware said.

“You’re no fun,” Pennsylvania said, “but you’re right. If Dad sees that we snuck out to practice flying without him, we’ll be in so much trouble.”

“Oh, I would say you’re already in trouble.”

The five states froze as they heard their father’s voice from behind them.

“Aw, rats.”

[countryhuman-storage432]

(extra old drawings) Other old drawings if you plan on using them please credit thank you - Jess 432