#couldnt have put it better tbh
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hi litchi you brought me back from the dead. c!endersmile was literally my favorite dynamic of the whole entire dsmp EVER and I will forever hold it against cc ranboo for backing out on what could've been suchhh a good look into cdreams character. if we knew what c endersmile actually got up to when together cdreams motivations would have definitely become (even more) clearer BEFORE just the finale and made his sympatheticness SO much more obvious to the audience as a whole. my craziest most toxic belief is that the untold endersmile story could have fixed lore discourse <=== DELUSIONALLLLL
^^^^
#asks#lightningonatether#YOURE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT#couldnt have put it better tbh#ccboo chickening out of lore with both cdre and cbeeduo will haunt me forever#i shall never forgive
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though đ i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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Spiralling AGAIN would you believe it
#txt#trying to figure it out#i tried to be there for jim and listen to him and be a good partner#but he barely opened up#i didnt know he wanted to leave me#he chose to open up when i was mad#so i didnt respond#so that i didnt yell#not that that is his fault#i should have done better#but i couldny#in that house#i was so overstimulated all the fucking tome#time#like always#and i didnt even realise it#until he kicked me put#out*#and now im just guilty over everything.#why wasnt i better#why cpuldnt i be better#its not fair that he didnt tell me#3 months and you really couldnt tell me what was on your mind#thats unfair man#i was trying so hard to be better#to do better#giving him space is almost impossible#hes my best friend and my soul mate#i dont want to talk to anyone else tbh#so being ignored is like a knife to my chest and idk what to do about it and this is my last tag i can put it and i just dont even know
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without doubt one of the worst things about bratz dolls is that you cannot display them without shoes bc they look weird as fuck. stumpy ass bitches
#tales from diana#i bought some bratz w a walmart giftcard my brother got me for my birthday... like months ago#my birthday is in april so i probably bought them like may or june#i opened yasmin today and i really gotta wash her hair it's a gelly mess#lookin like a rat's nest fuckin... it's bad mga wtf#it's the forever bratz yasmin from this year btw not a reproduction#i did also get the reproduction of campfire felicia bc it was also there and the same price#and like honestly she was lookin so cute and tbh she was a better deal lol she came w two outfits so yeah#you know yasmin was my favorite design of the forever bratz but the doll itself is somewhat cheaper than i was expecting her to be#ppl always praise mga for having higher quality than playline barbie these days but like... i kept thinking#hmmm if this had come out in the 2000s this doll would've had a fabric purse and not a hard plastic one#this lace on the front would actually be able to open and not just be glued there#whatever she's still cute i really love her#but i did have that first experience in such a long time. like since childhood. where i just take off some bratz shoes#and i'm like NO FEET! NO FEET! NO FEET! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH#PUT IT BACK!!!!!!#they look more than just naked. they look injured#i used to treat my bratz clothing completely differently than my barbie clothing as a kid bc they felt so much less interchangeable lol#i had a million barbies and a million barbie outfits and i really did not care to keep anything on a particular doll#w my couple of bratz that i had in childhood i really had to be careful where those outfit pieces ended up. couldnt leave em undressed#i suppose that still hasn't changed#you know one of these days i have to get myself a new funk-n-glow jade. she was my first bratz#but also one of these days....... i gotta wash yasmin's hair đ
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My Own Underwater Prison
By: J
cw for themes of; selfharm (cutting specifically), eating disorders, and suicide.
i feel like iâm drowning.
iâm an ocean, sea, river, creek, wherever.
water constantly rushing into my lungs.
i donât feel like i can breath.
somedays theyâre will be people.Â
who try and pull me up.Â
they always let go within 5 minutes though.
theres been others whoâve held me longer.Â
made sure i could breathe.
made sure the water was out of my lungs.
dried me off.
took care of me.
i cant shake the feeling that theyâll hurt me.
try to drown me.
so, i always go back into the water by myself.
i always try to breathe the water in again.
i donât want to drown.
i donât want to die.
âŠ
maybe i want to drown.
maybe the water in my lungs is calming.
it doesnât feel like it.
maybe iâm just used to it.
âŠ
every time iâve gotten slightly better- i feel like my own weight pulls me back under.
so i tried to shed that weight, tried to float.
i did so.
but yet.
i still cant float.
i know truly that it wont be what saves me- far from it, i know i wont be able to live normally on my own.
yet i keep trying, i know i wont stop.Â
i donât know why.
it all feels so heavy.
âŠ
the waves, ripples, the currant, cuts my arms.
as if it was another sheet of paper to be used and disposed of.
i wonder if others see it that way too.
disposable.
the blood mixed with the water entering my lungs.
again and again.
feels so nauseating.
iâve tried to hold my arms up.
but the wind only seems to cut them more than before.
âŠ
somedays i think about if those people that held me, dried me off.
if they really werenât going to drown me.
i know its idiotic to think about.
even if i truly donât know either.
its nice to imagine them.
caring for me.
âŠ
who am i kidding theyâd.
iâd never let them do that.
#j writes badly#i added themes of eating disorder(s?) because that whats was intended though im not sure if it really came off like that#whatever better to be too safe#this was made out of the fact i shâed alot more than usual tonight and still couldnt even hit styro#god i forgot how mentally ill i am đ#srsly my arm hurts SO MUCH i hate the burning#yea im never gonna go like a week without relapsing am i??#tbh im worried that sh will turn into an addiction#(yes yes ikik âbut it already isâ not really tbh. ig?? idk)#im slightly happy i could put some of this into words#jshebrnrkenrjdnd i have shit to do but oh well!
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see on one hand i COULD totally make trock but the only thing is. im worried about like. would anybody actually listen to it. like thats the difference w/ blaseball, the fan music scene was so excellent and popular that like i knew that if i made stuff and shared it people WOULD 100% listen and have nice things to say. and in general making and sharing ur music does NOT feel that way outside of communities that are really FOR that... and like its one thing to write my own songs for me bc thats not so much a choice as it is a requirement for my mental health in a very human "desire to create art" way. so in this regard its entirely another thing to write fan music... thats me contributing to a space, as opposed to my own "for me" songs that are just my way of processing my own emotions.
#ari opinion hour#like i dont need to PROCESS about fan stuff... i already do that by talking about it w/ other fans#does all this make sense?#music in blaseball gets treated like fic/art in other fan spaces#music in other spaces gets treated like... fic in blaseball tbh#which sucks for musicians in non-blaseball fan spaces (and OBVIOUSLY fic writers in blaseball)#id make trock if dr who fan spaces treated fan music like blaseball fans did#this isnt just a dr who fans problem btw dr who fans are def better than 99% of other fan spaces! this is a general problem for musicians#ive tried to share music with friends and just sort of been ignored on a few occasions & it SUCKS and is extremely demoralizing#& its bc we have preconceptions in todays society that if someone isnt famous then their music like. isnt good? which is COMPLETELY NOT TRU#like it honestly couldnt be further from the truth#and it means less people are going to SEEK OUT music / songwriting as a form of expression#now me its my whole career! so IM not going to shy away because im already putting the work in!! but people who work as like. accountants o#in retail or sanitation workers or whatever#rather than music teachers#are going to be less likely to seek it out!!! which SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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đ”âđ«đ”âđ«đ”âđ«
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its âi watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymoreâ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance â i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the âenhancedâ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ââdifferentââ i guess. đ anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a âthey obviously should be togetherâ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think theyâd make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#âmutual respectâ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
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im home earlier than i thought
#i can actually work on things yay. at least one of them#for the mav and samael story i will rewrite the first chapter#bc i think starting with mav having One of Those breakdowns bc of what happened with zachary its not the best way#i think its better to start the story showing his Unconventional Desires and Fantasies about being murdered as violently as possible#and then explain whats the reason behind them later; when the readers have an idea of who he is. and maybe wonder why hes like that#or if hes weird just because something is wrong with his brain (i mean something is def wrong with him either way.#but did something happened for him to end this way or it just happened without something being a direct cause?)#at least i didnt even got to the midpoint; i only had ~800 words. which is kind of a win for me tbh i havent write shit in months#let alone this thing is out of my comfort zone for a lot of reasons; starting with the fact its not a fanfic and everything belongs to me#and i havent touched a subject this sensitive like a p4r4philia before. of course i did my research but tbf there isnt a lot on this one#so im trying not to sound completely uninformed; just that i couldnt really find a whole lot of research on this#bc it doesnt exist on the first place. the closest is lopatka's clase; which i've read what i could find about already; its not a whole lot#anyway i am afraid of getting hate comments. something something i am romanticizing a serious subject#something something i am portraying this as a love story (im not; if the characters think so its another thing) so i must be fucked up irl#something something 'this is fucked up and doesnt cater to my direct tastes; therefore is bad and you are bad too'#of course i will put warnings but you know how people are. and if they report the story wattpad could actually take it down#a bummer but. whatever. i always have ao3 but i will have to do an extra step and translate it to english#alongside having 0 audience there. well shit just happens ig lol#this turned into a rant sorry#ivĂĄn whispers
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I think actually the only way to reconcile the ace attorney japanifornia situation is to replace LA with tokyo
#sorry had this thought and it made me laugh so hard#the idea of like tokyo maintaining its public transport infrastructure and general vibes while norcal is. norcal.#the intense split of norcal residents that are like WHY IS LA/TOKYOS PUBLIC TRANSIT SO MUCH BETTER#and norcal residents that are like âUm Actually. bart is doing great so-â#also just so funny to me bc Tokyo vs LA is not even close. its not even close !!!#which wojld make the norcal socal divide even insaner#which is a good thing obviously#me shrinking the map of japan flipping and transforming it until tokyo and LA match up like LOOK IT WORKS#i think this can also lead to fun situations to fix the germ-erica problem too where we put new york (and like half the east coast)#in germany/europe#bam problem solved#âwait so was edgeworth in the us or germany?â âyesâ#âhow would we fit the greater tokyo area-â arizona and nevada become greater california next question#like im already a firm believer khurain could be in the ie if it really wanted to be#but u ever been like#even 20 miles out from tahoe in the wrong direction#perfect situation for khurain over there i prommy#anyways if u couldnt tell its almost 3am and this is still making me laugj#sorry just imagining LA being tokyo and then u like#still live in sac lmfao. can u imagine.#la is tokyo and ure stuck in a town that still believes in state of jefferson đđđđ#fuck dude norcal (actual norcal not the bay) could defffff have khurain too tbh#i feel like those posts that are like âlocalization forces u to accept khurain is just somewhere in californiaâ are not from cali#like i promise u accepting that wasnt that hard#those posts r still funny tho
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Ok turned in my port assignment. I'm abt an hour late on the submission but I'm going to hope she just doesn't care + I apologized in my email soooooo I think we're good. She's going through it atm anyways so I'm hoping the flexibility goes both ways and whatnot. That said I did ask for a 1 day extension on the last writing assgmt too back in early November so she could be justified in taking off points but like why would she pleaseeee Rachel nooooo. I did write my email in English though so maybe I need to die for that idk
I guess we'll see but it'll be fine. Besides we had a quiz earlier, the writing activity due tonight and an exam Friday just in this class like I think we can let 50 minutes slide here
#name changed obvi but yeah#planned a fake vacation and now im jealous i dont get to take it#what do you meannnn i dont get to go to brazil w my best friend and go to a bunch of cool museums and restaurants and learn abt brazilian#history and afro brazilian culture đ#b- but i googled the flights and the hotel and planned out all the destinations đđđđ#rip but yay thats done#also the new dcu starts today im SOOOOOOOOO excited#just checked to see if the new episodes would be out yet bc its 1am but they dont release until 3 bc of the west coast (ewwwww be better)#and im not staying up for that sorry#i would but i have a 10am and theyre like 20 mins episodes i can just do it after class bc tmrw is my short day#also prof patel (NOT her name but im putting her in the patel cartel here for shits and gigs) STILL has not graded any of our essays in my#science class lol. GIRL ITS DECEMBER IVE WRITTEN THOUSANDS OF WORDS FOR YOU#she just put out a bitchy canvas announcement abt it too telling ppl to stop emailing her abt it lol#shes such a hater but sometimes you have to respect it tbh. the grading thing is killing me though. its her fault for making like 4 longass#writing assignments (w sources required) in a lecture hall class but like. i could be failing and couldnt even know#i mean im not bc youd think id know from my work but yeahh#if we get into the start of next week and nothings still graded im going to take a screenshot w the date to lodge a protest if she bombs me#last minute (bc i too can be bitchy ive decided) but idt that will be necessary at all bc i put the effort in
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im having so much more fun w bl than i'd anticipated. maybe its because my friend rlly undersold it... but its fun as hell and does some rlly unexpected stuff for a sports anime, which keeps it interesting to watch and makes it easy to get invested in.
#also its wayyyy too dramatic. which is awesome because free was my first sports anime and that was the same way.#if they dont put their all into it and fall into a deep despair every few eps then are they even playing sports.#tedtalks#also its the first time ive successfully gotten finn to watch a sports anime. and i couldnt have chosen a better one tbh.#watching this w him has also upped my enjoyment of it by at least 70%
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Batman wishes he could Spider-Man
#everyone is always like âthe no kill rule is stupidâ âhe should just kill the joker alreadyâ#but no ones like âspidermans no kill rule is stupidâ âwhy doesn't spiderman kill the green goblin alreadyâ#this is because i think spidey goes about it better#and because for spiderman. you can actually believe in redemption for his villains. especially the green goblin. as being achievable#batman series will never let you have this#i. dont quite know how to put it into words#batman feels more stagnant. while it feels more like spidey progresses#theyre both heros tormented by who they couldnt save#spidey should get a spidercave#he already has a spidermobile /silly#batman should have an alternative universe version of him called batsman who is made up of a bunch of bats that eat people#hnng#maybe another reason bats rule isnt respected while spideys is#is because spiderman tries to be good and batman admits he isnt?#bc spiderman usually doesn't even terribly beat up common criminals. he webs them up#and some believe spidey doesn't have a no kill rule at all. and i think that also plays in his favor#theres also the fact that spiderman is more relatable to the viewer as a person#theyre both consumed by their work. but for batman. bruce is mostly the persona. while for spidey both his hero and his civilian identity#matter greatly and are a central part of him#maybe its the clearer connection between their two big bads. norman was the father of peters best friend. and the guilt of killing#green goblin would probably destroy him#but batman and joker dont have that kind of connection. not in most media at least. so viewers see a character the comics will never redeem#with no personal connection to bats. who'll always kill. and they fail to see why batman shouldn't#and to go back to redemption#it manages to feel like spiderman makes more of an effort. and like he actually believes it possible. he tries to talk to them. to help them#to not hurt them#bats takes his characters to arkham. which is shown to be corrupt and making them worse like 9 times outta 10#batmans world feels so hopeless and neverending sometimes tbh#anyway im just sorta rambling here what do you guy think about the subject
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i'm obsessed with the world capitals map guessing game again
#Ouagadougou is the capital of burkina faso btw.#i couldnt remember and was desperately putting in the capital of every country around it to try and get it.#bamako. bissau. niamey. abuja. porto-novo. accra. lomé.#(i did have to look some of these up i did not remember 2 of the last 3 listed).#i shouldve started with algiers again tbh bc that was my last one and it did well.#its also a guess but it was a few guesses in. i started with brasilia this time.#i actually started with bissau the round before algiers which was even better. that one ended up being conakry iirc. right there!#.txt#anyways sorry. i have a bit of an obsession with maps and locations. especially capitals.#undescribed
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\\ALWAYS YOU//. M.R
warningsâ OOC MATTHEO, Im a sucker for toxic boys but I made him extra sweet in his one idk why, uhhh not many tbh, cussing, kissing, smoking, thatâs all I think.
summaryâ Mattheo was your best friend, always had been, but was the title of âfriendâ enough?
-my first work for Mattheo! I will eventually get a master list going once I get more comfertable posting on here. This is a repost of one of my works on wattpad, just with some tweaks bc that work was olldddd-
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a561b05f61ae0c19f49978f499818af4/7559fae4443c6d8c-64/s540x810/9b1c2059ef682e9602f49a586a7629c6c229e097.jpg)
You sat against mattheos đđđ, đ„đšđšđ€đąđ§đ out of his dorm window.
"You know, some times, I'm worried for you. You just stare at things, it's weird." He snickered as he took a drag from his cigarette.
You looked at him and scoffed, "Sometimes I'm worried about your lungs, you're bound to get some type of problem with all that's smoking you do." You half-joked, glancing at him.
He rolled his eyes, tilting his head up and blew the smoke out of his mouth.
"Seriously Mattheo, that stuff is absolute horse-shit for your body." You stated, accompanying your words with a sharp glare.
"I don't do it that often, just when I'm stressed." He muttered, taking his feet off of his desk and turning his body to face you.
"What happened to the whole 'I don't give a fuck about anything or anybody but myself' thing?" You said, mocking him to the best of your abilities.
"First of all I don't fucking sound like that," he laughed and squinted at you "second, just stressed about life, nothing in particular."Â
You softly chuckled at his reaction. His eyes broke from yours, looking at some papers on his desk. Your eyes, however, never left his frame. You could stare at him for eternity, everything about his face seemed so perfect, almost as if it were meant to be admired.
You soon realized your staring and quickly averted your gaze towards the window again.
"You gonna go to the Yule ball this year?" You broke the silence, you knew Mattheo hated those things, he hated having to be around a shit ton of people and act like he enjoyed their company.
"Probably not." His demeanor changed, his tone became short, almost snappy.
"Oh, I'm probably just gonna go with Becca." You mumbled, knowing that if no guy was to ask you, Becca had your back.
"Hm." He nearly laughed at your remark.
"What? What's so funny?" You asked, looking back at him, his back still facing you.
"Just surprised you aren't going with a random slytherin guy or something." He answered, but the way he had said it has a strange undertone that you weren't sure how to feel about.
"Well I mean I don't know, I haven't been asked yet." You stated truthfully.
"Ah, I see." He murmured, soon after taking another drag of his cigarette.
You felt tension building in the room, suffocating tension. You weighed your options out, but you decided it would be better to give Mattheo some space, for what you were unsure of.
"Well, Becca and Emma told me they wanted to go dress shopping earlier so I think I'm gonna head over there so we can solidify our plans." You announced while picking up your books and putting them in your bag.Â
"Bye Mattheo." You said while walking out of his dorm, expecting a response.
You shut the door when you got nothing, you mind raced with the possibilities on what could've caused mattheos strange behavior.
Maybe he'd just had an off day? No that couldnt have been it, he was fine moments before his attitude took a turn.Â
Perhaps he was just having mood swings, you wouldn't be surprised with all the trash he puts in his body.
You stuck with that story and walked back to your dorm, which was on the other side of the slytherin tower.Â
You reached it, setting your things down, then quickly turned around and nearly raced to your friends dorm.
The second you reached it, You waisted no time to jump on her bed, causing her to jump.Â
"Yes, of course you can come into my room unannounced and lay on my bed." Becca said sarcastically. She had been digging through her closet in an attempt to find a dress.Â
"Sorry, I just need to vent." You said while propping yourself up on your elbows.
"Go ahead." She sighed and laid her body weightÂ
"Okay so, there's this guy. He's like my best friend, but.."
She raised her eyes brows, signaling you to continue.
"But I want us to be more, or atleast I see him as more than a friend. I just feel like no matter how hard I try I can't get him to open up, he just.. won't."Â You groaned.
"And everytime I get this sliver of hope that I've made progress, he just completely shuts down, leaving me in the dark confused and a little bit heartbroken!" You borderline screamed, your face shoved into her mattress.
"Okay, uh, let's calm down. If he's not showing any signs of being interested maybe you should just, move on- well attempt to at least." Becca stated ,rubbing your back.
You shut your eyes, truly taking in your friends words. âhey Yknow what will make you feel better?â She nearly jumped with excitement. âGoing to look for a dress in town.â
You knew she only had good intentions but the words kept echoing through your head. The thought of keeping Mattheo as a friend hurt, but it seemed to be all you could do at this point without ruining your friendship.
Maybe she was right.
Maybe you needed to accept MattheoÂ
was just a friend.
-
All you could think about was the Yule ball. Over the next few weeks the days flew by, the anticipation growing larger with each one passing.
Of course you had been asked by some sweet guy from the Ravenclaw house, and, taking Becca's advice, you said yes.
There was nothing wrong with him, he just..he wasn't him.
You had decided to get ready alone, slipping into a beautiful green dress you and Becca had picked out. You finished your hair and makeup, looking into your vanity mirror.
You felt beautiful.
You smiled softly at how well you had dolled yourself up.
Glancing up at the clock, you rushed out of your dorm room, realizing it was the time you and your date had agreed to meet at the entrance by.Â
You walked gracefully through the halls, a large smile adorning your face. Your heels tapped softly against the ground. You neared the entrance, your breath becoming shallow from the nerves.Â
Then you saw Becca, she was wearing a beautiful Maroon dress. She looked absolutely breath taking.
"Hey!â oh my gosh." Becca looked at you, her jaw dropping.Â
"You look stunning! Like some type of goddess...." She said barely above a whisper.
"Becca! Stop, you can't be talking, I forgot how to breathe the moment I saw you." You hugged her.
You were about to continue praising her and her beauty, but before you could comment you heard someone call your name.
"Y/n..wow.." he said, just loud enough for you to hear.
You turned around to see your date, who was wearing a very clean red and black suit.Â
"Oh my gosh hi! Sorry for being a tad late, I lost track of time while getting ready!" You made your way next to your date, not before Becca gave you a sly smile and a push, leaving to go with her specimen she had chose for the nightÂ
"It's okay.., you look amazing." He had said, taking your arm into his. He began to lead you into the ballroom.
"Thank you, I must say, you cleaned up nice." You smiled sweetly at him.
You and him entered the large room full of people, everything was elegant and royal, not a single speck of dust on anything.
You looked around the large room as your date led you down the stairs, you couldn't lie, you felt like a princess. The beautiful architecture of the room, complimented by your stunning dress, felt like something straight out of a fairy tale.
Once you had made it to the bottom of the staircase, you excused yourself away from your date in an attempt to go find Becca again.Â
You stumbled past groups of people, many of them were couples having a romantic moment.Â
You tried your best not to run into anybody, you dodged dancing bodies and nearly jogged across the dance floor.
You almost missed him.
You almost walked right by him.
You almost could've saved yourself the heartbreak.
But no you saw itâhim with some random Hufflepuff girl.Â
The way he whispered in her ear, the way she giggled a little too sweetly, everything.Â
It all made you wanna cryâor throw up, which one that would be you weren't quite sure about yet.Â
"Y/n?" Theodore came beside you and patted your back.
"Theo-Theodore, I thought Mattheo wasn't coming to the dance?" You struggled to get your words out as your eyes darted between the scene before you and Theodore.Â
"Ohâuh yeah, he wasn't gonna originally, but some girl asked him and I guess he took a liking to her because usually he just brushes everyone off." Theo answered.
"Oh, I see, I just came to say hello. I'll be on my way now." Before Theodore could argue with your strange behavior you turned your back and walked as quickly as you could back to were your date was.Â
You abandoned the idea of going to find Becca, you couldn't accidentally run into Mattheo and his.. friend again.
Instead you decided that distracting yourself with your date would be the best thing for your heart at the moment.
"Hey, sorry , I just saw a friend and got distracted." You said, out of breath.
"Oh. Don't even sweat it, I'm just glad you didn't run away and not come back." He joked, dragging you towards the dance floor. You couldn't help but laugh at his bubbly personality. It was a nice change of speed.
"I hope you like to dance." His hands fell onto your hips, yours made their way to his shoulders.
"I actually hate it." You smiled at him.Â
"How unfortunate." Your smile grew when he matched your energy. You nearly forgot what you had seen a couple moments ago.
But alas, you didn't.
You could feel your chest tightening up, the tears bordering you waterline. Just thinking about him touching that girl in any way made you want to breakdown.
"Ex.âexcuse me." You tried to excuse yourself as politely as you could.Â
You didn't want your date too see you like this, vulnerable, heartbroken.
You urgently walked towards any door in your line of sight. When you finally found one, you ran through it.Â
You just couldn't escape him, no matter how hard you tried. He was at every single corner you turned.
You nearly groaned when you saw him propped up over the balcony, smoking of course.Â
He hasn't seemed to notice you, still looking out at the stars.Â
You couldn't do it anymore, you couldn't spend one more fucking second acting like you weren't in love with him.Â
The sad part was you'd rather be his friend than him hate you and be nothing at all. As long as he thought about you, you'd be okay.Â
That's what you had been telling yourself, but you couldn't hold onto that lie anymore.Â
"Mattheo." You croaked out behind him.
His head shot to the side, looking you dead in the eyes.Â
"Angel⊠what're you doing out here." He looked back out to the stars, unable to make eye contact.Â
"I can't do it anymore."Â You said shakily.
He turned his full body around this time, his eyes a dark brown. He blew the smoke out of his mouth, the wind pushing it in the opposite direction.
"I can't keep pretending I don't feel this way.., do you know how hard it was to watch you talk to that girl?" You nearly cried out.
"All the girls you fuck with and then bring them to shit like this, I cant keep lying to myself âwishing that it was me instead of her."
You were on the brink of gasping for air, your head pounded. You couldn't believe you had suppressed these emotions for so long. Every single time you went to Mattheo's dorm, you could barely restrain yourself from kissing him.Â
Before you could continue on with your speechÂ
Mattheo had forced you against the wall.Â
His lips met yours in a harsh collision. In an almost immediate reaction, your body responded to his actions, kissing him back with just as much need and hurry.
"You don't get to fucking do that."Â He pulled back from your lips, still making sure to keep his face mere inches from yours.
"Every single day, I'd sit there and watch you talk to this new guy, I couldn't do shit about itâ I wouldn't let myself do shit about it."
âI knew you deserved so much better than some lousy asshole like me, angel.â His hand held a firm grip on your hips, his other still had its place on the stone wall.Â
"It took everything in me not to punch that fucker in the face when I saw him look at you, but I knew you wouldn't want that." You melted beneath his gaze.
His kisses trailed down your jawline.
"During second year, when I went to the dance, I saw you there with Draco, I nearly killed him right after. I couldn't bear to see you with anyone other than myself.. so I wouldn't go, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it so I never went to another ball again." He gently caressed your cheek with his thumb.
"Until this year." He mumbled softly in between the kisses he was leaving on your neck.
He brought his face back up to yours, his eyes stormy and clouded with something darker than just simple need.
"What'd he say to you? What did he call you?" Mattheo asked with a dark shimmer in his eyes, one you were hoping was just from the moon.
You swallowed harshly, you hadn't realized how dry your mouth truly was.Â
"He just said I looked niceâ"Â
"Nice? You look fucking ravishing. I've never met a girl as beautiful as you, never once in my life seen a girl who could compare anywhere near you...That's why I call you angel you know...,because even if an angel walked by, my eyes would still be glued on you."
His gentle voice tickled your ears, and your cheeks warmed up beneath him.
"You are my angel."
He kissed you again, only this time it was more gentle. His lips held no rush, they were soft and comforting.Â
You were the one to pull back this time, smiling sweetly up at him. He pulled you from against the wall, leaving the two of you in the center of the balcony, under the sparkling stars.
"I can't believe we've been friends all these years, and neither of us made a move."
He spun you around under the moon light, the beautiful sky knocking the breath out of you.
"Hey matty..?âYou whispered once he had began to hold you in his arms gently.
"Yes angel?" He matched your tone, the sweet nickname you gave him made his chest tighten up.
"I love you." You closed your eyes, shutting them slowly.
"I love you... I always thought I'd never be the type to say that so freely, guess I just needed to meet the right person." He swayed the two of you lightly, finding a rhythm in the midnight winds.Â
"Of course it's you...Â
It's always been you."
#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#slytherin#mattheoxreader#x reader#harry potter#hogwarts#slytherin boys
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MORE being domestic with Logan pt 2: BUT you and logan get your first home together
- whatever your situation is with logan, either an apartment together, living seperate, living in the mansion- you both decided you wanted to get a house together
- logan picks up the more serious responsibilities of finding a house (not bc you couldnt do it and youre fully aware of everything. Its just logan has been alive for 200 years and he knows exactly what to do and expect) while you just scroll through pics on zillow and point out the houses you like and didnt lile
-whether you two want kids or not, you still agree to get a slightly bigger home- just to be able to have space for the chaos that may or may not ensue from yourselves or loved ones who visit
- you are more whimsy about how pretty the house is. Logan drills the realtor over the history, maintenance, plumbing, electrical- you name it he questions it
- "gotta make sure this place is perfect for you bub"
-once you finally pick a place, the lease is signed and keys handed over. You and logan spend the night in your first home that day!! No furntiure, just some pillows and blankets as you lay on the living room floor and talk about how to decorate and where to put furniture
- maybe yall christen the house by making love (fucking) right there on the floor too...
- after the chaos of moving in happens, youre working and logan is home. You come home to find at least one of the bathrooms completely torn out
- you could be mad that logan started this project without talking to you first but tbh you were kinda expecting it. He was staring a bit too hard at the tile when you were looking...
- sometimes you wonder if you should look up nesting habits for wolverines because the man spends the next year on housing projects. Only to learn later from jean that scott did the same thing in their house. Must be a man thing.
- you bicker over paint colors, placement over furniture.
- you and logan never have to pay a contractor to fix anything. No plumbling, electrical, maintenance. The mans got 200 years of experience and hes "not gotta waste money on some asshole who dont even know how to do the job right"
- (he also just doesnt like the idea of strangers in yours and his house)
-HOLIDAYS
- logan acts all tough but hes ALL about decorating for the holidays. Esp christmas
- "cant be letting the neighbors looking better than us"
-he lets you take care of the gardening. Plants just seem to hate him. Hell do the heavy lifting of mulch and soil and cutting the lawn though
-eventually he does get friendly with the neighbors and one day you cant find him and hes outside talking to "Gary" and several other men on the street, beers in hand, as they watched someone down the street cutting down a huge tree and theyre all critiquing his methods
- if youre part of the xmen, you both take turns on missions so someone is always able to be able to keep an eye on the house
- slow dancing in the kitchen at night
- if you get married or are already married he makes it a point to carry you through the threshold. More than once.
BONUS W kids đ©·
- if and when you guys decide to have kids, youre in for a treat.
- if you thought logan was bad before, hes ten times worsting. Hes nesting and has probably redone the babys/kids bedroom like 5 times before they arrive
- he wants to put all the baby furniture together but you insist he wait so you both can do it. You end up arguing during half of it but yalls are a team and figure it out (well logan does. You just smile prettily at him while he fixes whatever you messed up)
- if yall are adopting, logan is so tense about the house looking perfect and being a home for the one your adopting.
-hes worried about being a dad but honestly hed been a dad for a long ass time, maybe not biologically a dad yet, but he def is in spirit (rogue, kitty, laura, you name them)
Enjoy!!! â€ïžđ
#i tried to make this inclusive and remain neutral so everyone could enjoy!!#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#van rambles#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader
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"If anything Ozzie couldâve been the one who would ask where Stolas is, yknow an established character we already know and someone who knows the details and gave BlitzĂž the ozmedous crystal so they donât have to travel illegally."
i think this is the exact reason viv wants to act like ozzie was incapable of doing anything by passive aggressively liking fans tweets that argued he couldnt have possibly spoken up. because if he had even tried to save blitzs heiny by saying truthfully, "hey, wait - i know that guy! my partner fizz is friends with him! and he didn't force himself onto stolas, stolas personally asked me for an asmodean crystal for him when he realized he had, and i quote, 'feelings' for the imp! see? look at his right forearm, that there's one of my crystals, legally approved of." then they all would've believed a seven deadly fucking sin over some pissy elsa rip off that's ranks below ozzie, who has NO evidence of these vile accusations, vs the literal asmodean crystal on blitzs arm that you can literally see throughout the entire the trial. it's not like they took it off or anything! it's still there! keeping in mind theres no such thing as bootlegs crystals, because every on screen depiction (and i think even on screen description) states that an asmodean crystal is a personal item tied to it's owner - it's LEGAL owner.
but if that had happened, then we wouldn't have gotten our stoliz climax where stolas shows he loves blitz by.. doing the bare minimum of NOT letting blitz die due to STOLAS'S DECISION in murder family to make them fuck for the book, instead of giving his "first ever fwiend" an asmodean crystal immediately. how romantic!
im just getting so sick of the parasocial vivziepop stans doing backflips in logic to justify the way the story is, without realizing that they could and SHOULD be given something better. they see the cracks, but viv just doesn't want them to, because it's her way or the highway - she's the biggest fan of her own show, so things happen the way she wants them to, not in a way that makes any logical sense when you put it under the usual critical eye the average writer (and casual viewer) would.
i mean, what if oz said that, but satan still deemed a punishment against blitz worthy for having the grimorie to begin with at all as an imp, still tried to execute blitz as a public display of power, and THEN oz texts stolas while notifications of fizz texting oz pop up? you still get your angst, have ozzie ACTUALLY be a good person who's willing to put his neck out on the line for someone lesser then him with no personal gain and not just be a canonical complacent royal fuck who was about to let his lovers reunited best friend die on public television, which is why i will never be invested in fizzozzie ever again tbh, and STILL have your big stoliz savior moment, without it happening due to just because of stolas just so happening to turn on the news that day. a text from oz could've given stolas a moment to very briefly consider if this is something he should intervene in, before realizing he has to, because blitz made him feel free for the first time in his life. now he can free him too, from the grimorie, and from suffering the consequences of his actions that put blitz in this position unfairly to begin with. also i wouldn't personally write stolas following this up with a song about how he's the mastermind behind a plan he knows nothing about or have him insult his "lovers" intelligence repeatedly within it, "that's the point," my ass, stolas could've just sung about the way blitz made him feel when they first met as kids and then again as adults, and why he gave him the grimorie because of that, contradicting andres imp rape claim and showing blitz that stolas DOES care in a way that ISNT self sacrifice, but nooooo, we need just one more song of stolas being a entertaining dick! no wonder she said this episode was self indulgent lol
Someone get rid of Vivziepopâs Twitter or someone on her Spindlehorse team get Viv a social media manager. đ The fact this woman is passively aggressively liking tweets in defense of her show is insane. And maybe just maybe Vivziepop should explain herself in the show instead of Twitter.
I donât care what anybody says Ozzie couldâve done more and spoken up. He is one of the seven deadly sins and has the power to make a difference. If Stolas (someone who is lower than Ozzie in terms of status) can make a heroic entrance to save his booty call and talk/sing against Satan. Then Ozzie has a chance.
Anon why is your version so much better. That âMastermindâ song so unnecessary (itâs one of the few songs I personally donât vibe with except the ending, I will admit Satan and other sins part is fire). Stolas says how he love blitzĂž yet uses any chance to insult and demean his intelligence in the most mean spirited way possible.
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