#couldnt have put it better tbh
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hi litchi you brought me back from the dead. c!endersmile was literally my favorite dynamic of the whole entire dsmp EVER and I will forever hold it against cc ranboo for backing out on what could've been suchhh a good look into cdreams character. if we knew what c endersmile actually got up to when together cdreams motivations would have definitely become (even more) clearer BEFORE just the finale and made his sympatheticness SO much more obvious to the audience as a whole. my craziest most toxic belief is that the untold endersmile story could have fixed lore discourse <=== DELUSIONALLLLL
^^^^
#asks#lightningonatether#YOURE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT#couldnt have put it better tbh#ccboo chickening out of lore with both cdre and cbeeduo will haunt me forever#i shall never forgive
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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Spiralling AGAIN would you believe it
#txt#trying to figure it out#i tried to be there for jim and listen to him and be a good partner#but he barely opened up#i didnt know he wanted to leave me#he chose to open up when i was mad#so i didnt respond#so that i didnt yell#not that that is his fault#i should have done better#but i couldny#in that house#i was so overstimulated all the fucking tome#time#like always#and i didnt even realise it#until he kicked me put#out*#and now im just guilty over everything.#why wasnt i better#why cpuldnt i be better#its not fair that he didnt tell me#3 months and you really couldnt tell me what was on your mind#thats unfair man#i was trying so hard to be better#to do better#giving him space is almost impossible#hes my best friend and my soul mate#i dont want to talk to anyone else tbh#so being ignored is like a knife to my chest and idk what to do about it and this is my last tag i can put it and i just dont even know
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without doubt one of the worst things about bratz dolls is that you cannot display them without shoes bc they look weird as fuck. stumpy ass bitches
#tales from diana#i bought some bratz w a walmart giftcard my brother got me for my birthday... like months ago#my birthday is in april so i probably bought them like may or june#i opened yasmin today and i really gotta wash her hair it's a gelly mess#lookin like a rat's nest fuckin... it's bad mga wtf#it's the forever bratz yasmin from this year btw not a reproduction#i did also get the reproduction of campfire felicia bc it was also there and the same price#and like honestly she was lookin so cute and tbh she was a better deal lol she came w two outfits so yeah#you know yasmin was my favorite design of the forever bratz but the doll itself is somewhat cheaper than i was expecting her to be#ppl always praise mga for having higher quality than playline barbie these days but like... i kept thinking#hmmm if this had come out in the 2000s this doll would've had a fabric purse and not a hard plastic one#this lace on the front would actually be able to open and not just be glued there#whatever she's still cute i really love her#but i did have that first experience in such a long time. like since childhood. where i just take off some bratz shoes#and i'm like NO FEET! NO FEET! NO FEET! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH#PUT IT BACK!!!!!!#they look more than just naked. they look injured#i used to treat my bratz clothing completely differently than my barbie clothing as a kid bc they felt so much less interchangeable lol#i had a million barbies and a million barbie outfits and i really did not care to keep anything on a particular doll#w my couple of bratz that i had in childhood i really had to be careful where those outfit pieces ended up. couldnt leave em undressed#i suppose that still hasn't changed#you know one of these days i have to get myself a new funk-n-glow jade. she was my first bratz#but also one of these days....... i gotta wash yasmin's hair 😒
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see on one hand i COULD totally make trock but the only thing is. im worried about like. would anybody actually listen to it. like thats the difference w/ blaseball, the fan music scene was so excellent and popular that like i knew that if i made stuff and shared it people WOULD 100% listen and have nice things to say. and in general making and sharing ur music does NOT feel that way outside of communities that are really FOR that... and like its one thing to write my own songs for me bc thats not so much a choice as it is a requirement for my mental health in a very human "desire to create art" way. so in this regard its entirely another thing to write fan music... thats me contributing to a space, as opposed to my own "for me" songs that are just my way of processing my own emotions.
#ari opinion hour#like i dont need to PROCESS about fan stuff... i already do that by talking about it w/ other fans#does all this make sense?#music in blaseball gets treated like fic/art in other fan spaces#music in other spaces gets treated like... fic in blaseball tbh#which sucks for musicians in non-blaseball fan spaces (and OBVIOUSLY fic writers in blaseball)#id make trock if dr who fan spaces treated fan music like blaseball fans did#this isnt just a dr who fans problem btw dr who fans are def better than 99% of other fan spaces! this is a general problem for musicians#ive tried to share music with friends and just sort of been ignored on a few occasions & it SUCKS and is extremely demoralizing#& its bc we have preconceptions in todays society that if someone isnt famous then their music like. isnt good? which is COMPLETELY NOT TRU#like it honestly couldnt be further from the truth#and it means less people are going to SEEK OUT music / songwriting as a form of expression#now me its my whole career! so IM not going to shy away because im already putting the work in!! but people who work as like. accountants o#in retail or sanitation workers or whatever#rather than music teachers#are going to be less likely to seek it out!!! which SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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😵💫😵💫😵💫
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
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im home earlier than i thought
#i can actually work on things yay. at least one of them#for the mav and samael story i will rewrite the first chapter#bc i think starting with mav having One of Those breakdowns bc of what happened with zachary its not the best way#i think its better to start the story showing his Unconventional Desires and Fantasies about being murdered as violently as possible#and then explain whats the reason behind them later; when the readers have an idea of who he is. and maybe wonder why hes like that#or if hes weird just because something is wrong with his brain (i mean something is def wrong with him either way.#but did something happened for him to end this way or it just happened without something being a direct cause?)#at least i didnt even got to the midpoint; i only had ~800 words. which is kind of a win for me tbh i havent write shit in months#let alone this thing is out of my comfort zone for a lot of reasons; starting with the fact its not a fanfic and everything belongs to me#and i havent touched a subject this sensitive like a p4r4philia before. of course i did my research but tbf there isnt a lot on this one#so im trying not to sound completely uninformed; just that i couldnt really find a whole lot of research on this#bc it doesnt exist on the first place. the closest is lopatka's clase; which i've read what i could find about already; its not a whole lot#anyway i am afraid of getting hate comments. something something i am romanticizing a serious subject#something something i am portraying this as a love story (im not; if the characters think so its another thing) so i must be fucked up irl#something something 'this is fucked up and doesnt cater to my direct tastes; therefore is bad and you are bad too'#of course i will put warnings but you know how people are. and if they report the story wattpad could actually take it down#a bummer but. whatever. i always have ao3 but i will have to do an extra step and translate it to english#alongside having 0 audience there. well shit just happens ig lol#this turned into a rant sorry#iván whispers
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im having so much more fun w bl than i'd anticipated. maybe its because my friend rlly undersold it... but its fun as hell and does some rlly unexpected stuff for a sports anime, which keeps it interesting to watch and makes it easy to get invested in.
#also its wayyyy too dramatic. which is awesome because free was my first sports anime and that was the same way.#if they dont put their all into it and fall into a deep despair every few eps then are they even playing sports.#tedtalks#also its the first time ive successfully gotten finn to watch a sports anime. and i couldnt have chosen a better one tbh.#watching this w him has also upped my enjoyment of it by at least 70%
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Batman wishes he could Spider-Man
#everyone is always like “the no kill rule is stupid” “he should just kill the joker already”#but no ones like “spidermans no kill rule is stupid” “why doesn't spiderman kill the green goblin already”#this is because i think spidey goes about it better#and because for spiderman. you can actually believe in redemption for his villains. especially the green goblin. as being achievable#batman series will never let you have this#i. dont quite know how to put it into words#batman feels more stagnant. while it feels more like spidey progresses#theyre both heros tormented by who they couldnt save#spidey should get a spidercave#he already has a spidermobile /silly#batman should have an alternative universe version of him called batsman who is made up of a bunch of bats that eat people#hnng#maybe another reason bats rule isnt respected while spideys is#is because spiderman tries to be good and batman admits he isnt?#bc spiderman usually doesn't even terribly beat up common criminals. he webs them up#and some believe spidey doesn't have a no kill rule at all. and i think that also plays in his favor#theres also the fact that spiderman is more relatable to the viewer as a person#theyre both consumed by their work. but for batman. bruce is mostly the persona. while for spidey both his hero and his civilian identity#matter greatly and are a central part of him#maybe its the clearer connection between their two big bads. norman was the father of peters best friend. and the guilt of killing#green goblin would probably destroy him#but batman and joker dont have that kind of connection. not in most media at least. so viewers see a character the comics will never redeem#with no personal connection to bats. who'll always kill. and they fail to see why batman shouldn't#and to go back to redemption#it manages to feel like spiderman makes more of an effort. and like he actually believes it possible. he tries to talk to them. to help them#to not hurt them#bats takes his characters to arkham. which is shown to be corrupt and making them worse like 9 times outta 10#batmans world feels so hopeless and neverending sometimes tbh#anyway im just sorta rambling here what do you guy think about the subject
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My Own Underwater Prison
By: J
cw for themes of; selfharm (cutting specifically), eating disorders, and suicide.
i feel like i’m drowning.
i’m an ocean, sea, river, creek, wherever.
water constantly rushing into my lungs.
i don’t feel like i can breath.
somedays they’re will be people.
who try and pull me up.
they always let go within 5 minutes though.
theres been others who’ve held me longer.
made sure i could breathe.
made sure the water was out of my lungs.
dried me off.
took care of me.
i cant shake the feeling that they’ll hurt me.
try to drown me.
so, i always go back into the water by myself.
i always try to breathe the water in again.
i don’t want to drown.
i don’t want to die.
��
maybe i want to drown.
maybe the water in my lungs is calming.
it doesn’t feel like it.
maybe i’m just used to it.
…
every time i’ve gotten slightly better- i feel like my own weight pulls me back under.
so i tried to shed that weight, tried to float.
i did so.
but yet.
i still cant float.
i know truly that it wont be what saves me- far from it, i know i wont be able to live normally on my own.
yet i keep trying, i know i wont stop.
i don’t know why.
it all feels so heavy.
…
the waves, ripples, the currant, cuts my arms.
as if it was another sheet of paper to be used and disposed of.
i wonder if others see it that way too.
disposable.
the blood mixed with the water entering my lungs.
again and again.
feels so nauseating.
i’ve tried to hold my arms up.
but the wind only seems to cut them more than before.
…
somedays i think about if those people that held me, dried me off.
if they really weren’t going to drown me.
i know its idiotic to think about.
even if i truly don’t know either.
its nice to imagine them.
caring for me.
…
who am i kidding they’d.
i’d never let them do that.
#j writes badly#i added themes of eating disorder(s?) because that whats was intended though im not sure if it really came off like that#whatever better to be too safe#this was made out of the fact i sh’ed alot more than usual tonight and still couldnt even hit styro#god i forgot how mentally ill i am 💀#srsly my arm hurts SO MUCH i hate the burning#yea im never gonna go like a week without relapsing am i??#tbh im worried that sh will turn into an addiction#(yes yes ikik “but it already is” not really tbh. ig?? idk)#im slightly happy i could put some of this into words#jshebrnrkenrjdnd i have shit to do but oh well!
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i'm obsessed with the world capitals map guessing game again
#Ouagadougou is the capital of burkina faso btw.#i couldnt remember and was desperately putting in the capital of every country around it to try and get it.#bamako. bissau. niamey. abuja. porto-novo. accra. lomé.#(i did have to look some of these up i did not remember 2 of the last 3 listed).#i shouldve started with algiers again tbh bc that was my last one and it did well.#its also a guess but it was a few guesses in. i started with brasilia this time.#i actually started with bissau the round before algiers which was even better. that one ended up being conakry iirc. right there!#.txt#anyways sorry. i have a bit of an obsession with maps and locations. especially capitals.#undescribed
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i wish we could have heard more of johns thoughts on bev and the rec center like in the conversation him and riley have in their first aa meeting, rileys talking about how bev conned everyone into giving her money under the guise of giving it to the chuch and all we see from john is just him nodding and listening to riley unknowingly talk about him. like how is he not angry at bev? knowing this woman took advantage of him while he was sick and not able to think clearly. does he think she was justified? does he just want to stay on her good side for the 'greater good' of it all?
#like obviously we couldnt have had it there bc it wasnt revealed that paul was john yet either to the audience or to riley but#really what im saying is i wish the show was longer than 7 episode i think they easily could have stretched it to 10 or 12#and have it still be just as good if not better tbh#i dont wanna put this in the tag but this is about mid.night. m.ass.#the willow creaks
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\\ALWAYS YOU//. M.R
warnings— OOC MATTHEO, Im a sucker for toxic boys but I made him extra sweet in his one idk why, uhhh not many tbh, cussing, kissing, smoking, that’s all I think.
summary— Mattheo was your best friend, always had been, but was the title of ‘friend’ enough?
-my first work for Mattheo! I will eventually get a master list going once I get more comfertable posting on here. This is a repost of one of my works on wattpad, just with some tweaks bc that work was olldddd-
You sat against mattheos 𝐛𝐞𝐝, 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 out of his dorm window.
"You know, some times, I'm worried for you. You just stare at things, it's weird." He snickered as he took a drag from his cigarette.
You looked at him and scoffed, "Sometimes I'm worried about your lungs, you're bound to get some type of problem with all that's smoking you do." You half-joked, glancing at him.
He rolled his eyes, tilting his head up and blew the smoke out of his mouth.
"Seriously Mattheo, that stuff is absolute horse-shit for your body." You stated, accompanying your words with a sharp glare.
"I don't do it that often, just when I'm stressed." He muttered, taking his feet off of his desk and turning his body to face you.
"What happened to the whole 'I don't give a fuck about anything or anybody but myself' thing?" You said, mocking him to the best of your abilities.
"First of all I don't fucking sound like that," he laughed and squinted at you "second, just stressed about life, nothing in particular."
You softly chuckled at his reaction. His eyes broke from yours, looking at some papers on his desk. Your eyes, however, never left his frame. You could stare at him for eternity, everything about his face seemed so perfect, almost as if it were meant to be admired.
You soon realized your staring and quickly averted your gaze towards the window again.
"You gonna go to the Yule ball this year?" You broke the silence, you knew Mattheo hated those things, he hated having to be around a shit ton of people and act like he enjoyed their company.
"Probably not." His demeanor changed, his tone became short, almost snappy.
"Oh, I'm probably just gonna go with Becca." You mumbled, knowing that if no guy was to ask you, Becca had your back.
"Hm." He nearly laughed at your remark.
"What? What's so funny?" You asked, looking back at him, his back still facing you.
"Just surprised you aren't going with a random slytherin guy or something." He answered, but the way he had said it has a strange undertone that you weren't sure how to feel about.
"Well I mean I don't know, I haven't been asked yet." You stated truthfully.
"Ah, I see." He murmured, soon after taking another drag of his cigarette.
You felt tension building in the room, suffocating tension. You weighed your options out, but you decided it would be better to give Mattheo some space, for what you were unsure of.
"Well, Becca and Emma told me they wanted to go dress shopping earlier so I think I'm gonna head over there so we can solidify our plans." You announced while picking up your books and putting them in your bag.
"Bye Mattheo." You said while walking out of his dorm, expecting a response.
You shut the door when you got nothing, you mind raced with the possibilities on what could've caused mattheos strange behavior.
Maybe he'd just had an off day? No that couldnt have been it, he was fine moments before his attitude took a turn.
Perhaps he was just having mood swings, you wouldn't be surprised with all the trash he puts in his body.
You stuck with that story and walked back to your dorm, which was on the other side of the slytherin tower.
You reached it, setting your things down, then quickly turned around and nearly raced to your friends dorm.
The second you reached it, You waisted no time to jump on her bed, causing her to jump.
"Yes, of course you can come into my room unannounced and lay on my bed." Becca said sarcastically. She had been digging through her closet in an attempt to find a dress.
"Sorry, I just need to vent." You said while propping yourself up on your elbows.
"Go ahead." She sighed and laid her body weight
"Okay so, there's this guy. He's like my best friend, but.."
She raised her eyes brows, signaling you to continue.
"But I want us to be more, or atleast I see him as more than a friend. I just feel like no matter how hard I try I can't get him to open up, he just.. won't." You groaned.
"And everytime I get this sliver of hope that I've made progress, he just completely shuts down, leaving me in the dark confused and a little bit heartbroken!" You borderline screamed, your face shoved into her mattress.
"Okay, uh, let's calm down. If he's not showing any signs of being interested maybe you should just, move on- well attempt to at least." Becca stated ,rubbing your back.
You shut your eyes, truly taking in your friends words. “hey Yknow what will make you feel better?” She nearly jumped with excitement. “Going to look for a dress in town.”
You knew she only had good intentions but the words kept echoing through your head. The thought of keeping Mattheo as a friend hurt, but it seemed to be all you could do at this point without ruining your friendship.
Maybe she was right.
Maybe you needed to accept Mattheo
was just a friend.
-
All you could think about was the Yule ball. Over the next few weeks the days flew by, the anticipation growing larger with each one passing.
Of course you had been asked by some sweet guy from the Ravenclaw house, and, taking Becca's advice, you said yes.
There was nothing wrong with him, he just..he wasn't him.
You had decided to get ready alone, slipping into a beautiful green dress you and Becca had picked out. You finished your hair and makeup, looking into your vanity mirror.
You felt beautiful.
You smiled softly at how well you had dolled yourself up.
Glancing up at the clock, you rushed out of your dorm room, realizing it was the time you and your date had agreed to meet at the entrance by.
You walked gracefully through the halls, a large smile adorning your face. Your heels tapped softly against the ground. You neared the entrance, your breath becoming shallow from the nerves.
Then you saw Becca, she was wearing a beautiful Maroon dress. She looked absolutely breath taking.
"Hey!— oh my gosh." Becca looked at you, her jaw dropping.
"You look stunning! Like some type of goddess...." She said barely above a whisper.
"Becca! Stop, you can't be talking, I forgot how to breathe the moment I saw you." You hugged her.
You were about to continue praising her and her beauty, but before you could comment you heard someone call your name.
"Y/n..wow.." he said, just loud enough for you to hear.
You turned around to see your date, who was wearing a very clean red and black suit.
"Oh my gosh hi! Sorry for being a tad late, I lost track of time while getting ready!" You made your way next to your date, not before Becca gave you a sly smile and a push, leaving to go with her specimen she had chose for the night
"It's okay.., you look amazing." He had said, taking your arm into his. He began to lead you into the ballroom.
"Thank you, I must say, you cleaned up nice." You smiled sweetly at him.
You and him entered the large room full of people, everything was elegant and royal, not a single speck of dust on anything.
You looked around the large room as your date led you down the stairs, you couldn't lie, you felt like a princess. The beautiful architecture of the room, complimented by your stunning dress, felt like something straight out of a fairy tale.
Once you had made it to the bottom of the staircase, you excused yourself away from your date in an attempt to go find Becca again.
You stumbled past groups of people, many of them were couples having a romantic moment.
You tried your best not to run into anybody, you dodged dancing bodies and nearly jogged across the dance floor.
You almost missed him.
You almost walked right by him.
You almost could've saved yourself the heartbreak.
But no you saw it—him with some random Hufflepuff girl.
The way he whispered in her ear, the way she giggled a little too sweetly, everything.
It all made you wanna cry—or throw up, which one that would be you weren't quite sure about yet.
"Y/n?" Theodore came beside you and patted your back.
"Theo-Theodore, I thought Mattheo wasn't coming to the dance?" You struggled to get your words out as your eyes darted between the scene before you and Theodore.
"Oh—uh yeah, he wasn't gonna originally, but some girl asked him and I guess he took a liking to her because usually he just brushes everyone off." Theo answered.
"Oh, I see, I just came to say hello. I'll be on my way now." Before Theodore could argue with your strange behavior you turned your back and walked as quickly as you could back to were your date was.
You abandoned the idea of going to find Becca, you couldn't accidentally run into Mattheo and his.. friend again.
Instead you decided that distracting yourself with your date would be the best thing for your heart at the moment.
"Hey, sorry , I just saw a friend and got distracted." You said, out of breath.
"Oh. Don't even sweat it, I'm just glad you didn't run away and not come back." He joked, dragging you towards the dance floor. You couldn't help but laugh at his bubbly personality. It was a nice change of speed.
"I hope you like to dance." His hands fell onto your hips, yours made their way to his shoulders.
"I actually hate it." You smiled at him.
"How unfortunate." Your smile grew when he matched your energy. You nearly forgot what you had seen a couple moments ago.
But alas, you didn't.
You could feel your chest tightening up, the tears bordering you waterline. Just thinking about him touching that girl in any way made you want to breakdown.
"Ex.—excuse me." You tried to excuse yourself as politely as you could.
You didn't want your date too see you like this, vulnerable, heartbroken.
You urgently walked towards any door in your line of sight. When you finally found one, you ran through it.
You just couldn't escape him, no matter how hard you tried. He was at every single corner you turned.
You nearly groaned when you saw him propped up over the balcony, smoking of course.
He hasn't seemed to notice you, still looking out at the stars.
You couldn't do it anymore, you couldn't spend one more fucking second acting like you weren't in love with him.
The sad part was you'd rather be his friend than him hate you and be nothing at all. As long as he thought about you, you'd be okay.
That's what you had been telling yourself, but you couldn't hold onto that lie anymore.
"Mattheo." You croaked out behind him.
His head shot to the side, looking you dead in the eyes.
"Angel… what're you doing out here." He looked back out to the stars, unable to make eye contact.
"I can't do it anymore." You said shakily.
He turned his full body around this time, his eyes a dark brown. He blew the smoke out of his mouth, the wind pushing it in the opposite direction.
"I can't keep pretending I don't feel this way.., do you know how hard it was to watch you talk to that girl?" You nearly cried out.
"All the girls you fuck with and then bring them to shit like this, I cant keep lying to myself —wishing that it was me instead of her."
You were on the brink of gasping for air, your head pounded. You couldn't believe you had suppressed these emotions for so long. Every single time you went to Mattheo's dorm, you could barely restrain yourself from kissing him.
Before you could continue on with your speech
Mattheo had forced you against the wall.
His lips met yours in a harsh collision. In an almost immediate reaction, your body responded to his actions, kissing him back with just as much need and hurry.
"You don't get to fucking do that." He pulled back from your lips, still making sure to keep his face mere inches from yours.
"Every single day, I'd sit there and watch you talk to this new guy, I couldn't do shit about it— I wouldn't let myself do shit about it."
“I knew you deserved so much better than some lousy asshole like me, angel.” His hand held a firm grip on your hips, his other still had its place on the stone wall.
"It took everything in me not to punch that fucker in the face when I saw him look at you, but I knew you wouldn't want that." You melted beneath his gaze.
His kisses trailed down your jawline.
"During second year, when I went to the dance, I saw you there with Draco, I nearly killed him right after. I couldn't bear to see you with anyone other than myself.. so I wouldn't go, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it so I never went to another ball again." He gently caressed your cheek with his thumb.
"Until this year." He mumbled softly in between the kisses he was leaving on your neck.
He brought his face back up to yours, his eyes stormy and clouded with something darker than just simple need.
"What'd he say to you? What did he call you?" Mattheo asked with a dark shimmer in his eyes, one you were hoping was just from the moon.
You swallowed harshly, you hadn't realized how dry your mouth truly was.
"He just said I looked nice—"
"Nice? You look fucking ravishing. I've never met a girl as beautiful as you, never once in my life seen a girl who could compare anywhere near you...That's why I call you angel you know...,because even if an angel walked by, my eyes would still be glued on you."
His gentle voice tickled your ears, and your cheeks warmed up beneath him.
"You are my angel."
He kissed you again, only this time it was more gentle. His lips held no rush, they were soft and comforting.
You were the one to pull back this time, smiling sweetly up at him. He pulled you from against the wall, leaving the two of you in the center of the balcony, under the sparkling stars.
"I can't believe we've been friends all these years, and neither of us made a move."
He spun you around under the moon light, the beautiful sky knocking the breath out of you.
"Hey matty..?”You whispered once he had began to hold you in his arms gently.
"Yes angel?" He matched your tone, the sweet nickname you gave him made his chest tighten up.
"I love you." You closed your eyes, shutting them slowly.
"I love you... I always thought I'd never be the type to say that so freely, guess I just needed to meet the right person." He swayed the two of you lightly, finding a rhythm in the midnight winds.
"Of course it's you...
It's always been you."
#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#slytherin#mattheoxreader#x reader#harry potter#hogwarts#slytherin boys
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hi. what is this. 4th hand post? idk. anyways. reaching out in alien stage! literally and metaphorically! i had to cut out a lot of stuff because i reached the 30 image limit
mizi
she doesn't put on an act when she performs. the way she reaches out to sua is the same way she performs, but without! a glass wall separating them! she's first to reach out to sua and holds on tightly. she also reaches out in self defense (aka beating up luka or that cool gun scene I COULDNT FIT IN.) or in love/anger. for the anger part check out this cool thread @crustyfloor and @ivanttakethis analysing how mizi couldve been attacking sua as well
sua
once she connected with mizi she held on TIGHT. before mizi, she was treated as doll. just an object. with mizi (codependency) she actively reaches out, placing flowers in mizi's hair and reaching for the light. the light, being artificial, could represent false aspirations? she hopes for a better future but knows its doomed. alternately shes reaching for heaven. (SORRY I HAVE TO QUOTE IT- rage rage against the dying of light OK IM DONE) also mizisua picked up the 2 hands outstretched from each other. its like theyre halves of a hug its so cute
ivan
man. where do i even start with him. besides the beating up scene which was more reciprocation? ig? hes actually kinda lowkey and gentle with how he reaches out. i cut out the club scene which would be the most obvious example but yeah !! he reaches back for till in the meteor scene. he does a hand twirl (which someone analysed on pinterest), he reaches out again when he's dying, closest thing we'll get to him opening up, in any collar scenes he like barely brushes tills neck. how does he know how to open those btw. in his 2 other freaky scenes he's. distracting till?? idk i've seen arguments for him distracting till by doing that blood thing but till did like. pay attention to him. he responded to wtv ivan said. idk it might be an unreliable narrator moment. ALSO THE WALL. THE SCRATCHES IN THE WALL. not sure if he's scared or interested or something else but hes holding back something man. idt he'd interfere tbh
till
he reaches out for mizi most of the time. its always indirect tho! chasing the flower crown. literally held back by glass. reaching out for fake mizi. AND most importantly reaching out with his music. i think the guitar fingering counts. he always can't or doesn't want to approach mizi. he straight up doesn't reach out to ivan besides the meteor scene. might be symbolically implicative of his fear of emotional connection!
hyuna
she reaches out to people to help them!! when she was younger she reached out to luka (theres also that one part in all in where shes brushing her fingers against his face) and acted as some support for him. despite her brother being audibly creeped out by luka she brushed this off and treated both of them like younger siblings (despite luka being older). she also picked up(???) the fist in the air thing from hyun woo! outside of anakt she looks like she wants to strangle or shoot luka. when she tried to stab him and was sent off stage she saw a hallucination of hyun woo but couldn't reach out since she was in handcuffs. she helps mizi out now too!! assists her in navigating around the alien stage premises (helps her up onto the scooter + gives her a gun) and distracts her from a mental breakdown
luka
off stage he's usually curled up (the official art rahh) but on stage he takes as much control as he can. illusion of freedom! he goes straight for the neck or for his opponents emotions and purposely gets into their personal space. the way he reaches out is like a taunt or a lure. towards the alien audience, his chest is bared to them. "i was made for your entertainment." etc.
also i think its interesting to note anyone who reaches for the sky is immediately cooked
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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ midnight insomnia' - c.yj
SYNOPSIS - its the middle of the night and you have 2 problems; no.1 you cant sleep, and no.2 you miss your boyfriend. PAIRING - choi yeonjun x f!reader GENRE - fluff, established relationship WARNINGS - reader is depicted with a pink colour, reader is called ‘baby’ and ‘girlfriend’, just yeonjun and y/n being really cute with eachother <3 requested from anon: hi! i dont think you've posted yet, maybe your busy or just dont know what to write about since your a new blog, but i want to put in a req.. could you do reader x yeonjun with the prompt “i can’t sleep, come to my bed” id actually die AAH im so curious what you could turn this into, thanks :}
notes: thanku sm for the req! yeah, i havent been writing yet since my brain was blank tbh i had no ideas for a fanfic in mind 😭😭 but now youve added fuel to my fire and ill try start writing more often :3 (and yes, the 127 in the fic was on purpose)
The moon cast a soft glow through the small sliver between your curtains, painting the room in hues of silver. In the quiet of the night, you tossed and turned under your soft blanket, unable to find solace in slumber. As you battled with your insomnia, you just couldnt keep your mind off of one thing; Yeonjun. You couldnt stop thinking about the way he would hold you through these chilly early-spring nights, and how much you missed his warm body next to yours. At this point you’ve realised just how starved you were from him despite only seeing him a couple of days ago.
You gave up on your slumber, rolling like a log from one side of your bed to another to pick up your phone. The sharp glow from the screen hit your eyes, your face instinctively scrunching up since you werent used to the brightness. Your fingers lazily glided over to the message app icon, and then tapped on Yeonjun’s contact. The time at the side of the screen caught your eye, and your realised it was 1:27 AM. You were a little weary of texting your boyfriend at this late hour; you knew that he was probably tired after a long day of practicing and you didnt want to seem selfish or too clingy. But you shook off your bad feelings since you knew that Yeonjun wasnt the type to be able to fall asleep easily either. You began to type your messages…
“jjunieeee..”
“baby… ☹️”
As expected, Yeonjun was of course awake. Your one word messages were opened by him a minute later. He looked at the texts, a little confused on why you’d be texting him right now. Any how, he started typing back.
“y/n? why’re you still up. you better not be up to some weird shi 😐”
“jjunie, i cant sleep. come to my bed.”
“baby, its half 1 in the morning.”
“please..😔 i really cant sleep and i need sum1 by my side 😞”
“y/n you’re going to be the death of me... but what wouldnt i do for my beautiful girlfriend”
“ill be there in 5”
“yippee! 😇 i love you ❤️”
“love you more baby ❤️”
Your face lit up as your boyfriend agreed to come over. You immediately put your phone back on your side table and plugged it back into charging, then quickly tossed the dirty socks that were lying on your bedroom floor underneath your bed to appear a little tidier. After a little while, you could hear a quiet knock echo through your small apartment; your face lighting up once again. Your feet quickly brought you to your hallway, where you rummaged your drawer for your keys. Eventually finding them, you jammed the correct key into the keyhole, twisiting it and gently opening the door. As your boyfriend appears from behind the door, you immediately pull him into a hug, shutting the door behind him. “Whats up with you today?” He teases as he feels your arms lock around him tightly, wrapping his arms around your waist in response. “Just missed you baby.” You responded, taking in his soft scent which you missed badly. “Y/n, we just saw eachother a few days ago..” His chuckle landed right in your ear, warm breath brushing right up against your ear. The sensation of course did not fail to make you blush a little. “Yeah, but ‘just a few days ago’ feels like an eternity to me.” You whisper into his shoulder, finding comfort in just burrying your face in his shoulder and hiding from the world. You feel his hands come away from your waist and up to your back, rubbing small circles. “You really arent a patient person, are you? Now, lets get you to bed.” He whispers as he takes your hand in his and begins to lead you over to your bedroom. You obviously dont resist, and grip his hand back as you walk behind him. None of you made a sound as you walked to your bedroom. Both of your social batteries were drained from the long day you’ve survived today, and all you wanted to do was to hold eachother in peace as you tried to fall back into a slumber.
You walk into your bedroom, and Yeonjun leads you straight to your bed. He lets you crawl in and under the covers as he takes off his jacket and throws it onto the chair you have by your desk. He came just wearing his pajamas, since he knew all you were going to do together was snuggle and sleep. He climbs onto your bed, arms wrapping tightly around your body as your face hides in his chest. His hand runs through your soft hair in a consoling manner, trying to get you to feel more tired and sleepy. His hands work like magic, your eyes beginning to feel heavier by the minute. But before you fall asleep, you give his hand a gentle squeeze and manage to whisper a set of three familiar words.
“I love you.”
#drabble#kpop imagines#one shot#x reader#kpop#yeonjun#yeonjun imagines#yeonjun drabbles#txt#txt imagines#txt fanfic#yeonjun fanfic#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun x y/n#yeonjun x you#yeonjun oneshot#oneshot#txt oneshots#new kpop blog#fanfic
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FREAKY CALDRE YURI HCS!!!
this is MY SHIT yall. (i have such a crush on fem andre im sorry sm of these are abt her.) also im going to hell for this. this is the freakiest shit ive written.
they practiced kissing when they were young. an innocent peck on the lips. as they grew they would make out sometimes bc they both wanted to do it. it was "casual" but had lots of feelings behind it. (known for andrea but cal's a little repressed)
the first time they had sex was set off when they were both smoking one night. cal (callie still uses the nickname) was complaining abt how awkward doing anything w the male vers of rachel is (anyone have any name ideas for him?) and how she could never get into it. andrea was like "I could do better." they started making out and it got really hot and cal found herself SO into it. she would of kept going if andrea didnt stop bc they were high and she wanted to make sure cal really wanted it. few hours later when they sobered up (while taking lots of kissing breaks) they had sex. just fingering and touching clits and shit. andrea was right.
andrea is more of a service top, but not a stone cold butch yk. (google it) she loves pleasuring cal and making her feel good so fucking much.
andrea loves eating pussy send tweet. she has made cal come from it multiple times in a row before. she eats cal out and then kisses her and asks if she can taste herself.
andrea likes fucking cal w a toy and sitting over her a soaking up all the little reactions she has to it. also IK that strap is big.
people w vaginas can go longer so these bitches GO AT IT. they fuck almost every sleepover. they fuck where they shouldnt.
(im projecting) a lot of body worship adjacent stuff on both sides. they have very handsy sex, touching all over their bodies and kissing everywhere.
tw sh and bloodplay!! andrea cuts cal and praises her for being such a good girl and taking it. she gets her hands all up in the wounds and prods at them and says "look im finger fucking you." (NOT her joke btw. cal once said its like ur fingerfucking me there and andrea reuses it everytime). and then after that she uses those same fingers covered in blood to finger cal and then eat her out!! with the blood on there!!
seeing andrea w her hair down turns cal on so much. she pulls tight on to her long strands while they fuck. she loves when they fall down onto her face and body when andrea is over her.
andrea has big tits. cal cups them and hold them all the fucking time. that joke abt walking up to ur gf and squeezing the air where their boobs are is smth that cal basically invited. both sexually and non-sexually. ermm tit sucking/nipple play and cal putting her face in them.
cal likes being tied up so andrea can have her way w her. either that or being told that she can't move.
andrea makes it her goal to make cal squirt.
speaking of that, the second time they fucked andrea ate cal out for the first time right after fingering her and playing w her clit to the point of orgasm. cal squirted. lowkey scared them both, esp andrea who got it all over her face. cal was like " i did not know I could do that." same w andrea tbh. (poor female sex ed :/)
them dry humping each other's thighs. yeah.
andrea fucking cal and when cal is abt to come andrea says "m!rachel couldnt make u feel this could, could he?" and makes cal agree w it before she can come.
cal teasing andrea when they kiss by js roughly grabbing her vagina thru her clothes and groping it. andrea loves it.
ok so. once they were planning zd. and there were guns. and cal was like "I want you to point it at my head" (we all know the drill) and before u know it the tip of a gun (unloaded dw) is in her pussy! andre rubbing her clit with it and then putting the tip in her own mouth after. they keep pulling the trigger for the thrill of it and they both act like its loaded cause they are FREAKS.
cal fingering andrea in her lap and andrea biting her shoulder and neck to the point of drawing blood. better yet andrea riding the strap in cals lap.
both would really be into making the other suck the strap esp after someones js been fucked w it. cal likes to order it as a "look how much youll do for me thing" and andrea likes cal to suck it getting cal fucked out and overstimulated thing.
they would both be into period sex. cause the blood. cal likes getting it all over her sm. cal js loves blood and andrea loves getting cal going. (andrea also likes the blood). one of them will be having bad cramps and the other will say "yk what helps w that??' like they didnt have the same exact convo last month.
cal. nipple. piercings. andrea biting and pulling on them.
andrea biting and sucking on cal's inner thighs when she eats her out.
andrea calling cal a whore and a slut. cal calling HERSELF a whore and a slut.
tw sh! they both craved their initials into their bodies once during sex.
#ok im sprry im js a little guy i dont know where this came from (ik damn well)#freaky warning#freaky hcs#zero day#andre hcs#caldre#cal hcs#cal gabriel#andre kriegman#zero day 2003#genderbent au
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