#coping with that so he projects it onto who he sees as kind of the ultimate savior which leads him to being an accomplice for light when he

[teamfortresstwo]

So if someone had a danganropa deathnote au what ultimates do you think each character would have

[oh-no-its-bird]

Obkk ghost marriage fic where after kannabi bridge, the Uchiha decide Kakashi can keep the eye but only if he agrees to marry Obito's ghost in a traditional ghost marriage.

(This also means he officially joins the Uchiha clan. Maybe lean into how he knows very little ab his own clan history, so there's like some minor complexes playing off of that as he ultimately takes up the Uchiha name and traditions, effectively abandoning his own -> which could also play interestingly into his negative views of his father at that age. This also means he moves out of his clan compound and into the Uchiha district— which is actually really good for his mental health)

Kakashi doesn't argue, he sees it as the ultimate atonement actually. He's incredibly dutiful but especially so at that age. He'd take it dead fuckin seriously and be the best ghost bride possible. Instead of constantly going to the memorial stone he has like a proper shrine to honor him in the house where he leaves his favorite foods n stuff

Like little 13 year old widower Kakashi w Rin as his witness rip

I'm not the biggest Rin fan bc her canon characterization feels like that usual boring "girl crush turned martyr" (naruto misogony strikes again rip) and I've yet to find any interpretations that really strike me— with one exception.

I don't remember the fic, and Rin only showed up for part of it, but I remember being rlly taken by her in it. It highlighted her being as struck by Obito's death as Kakashi, with her an official mednin working overtime in the hospital as the war ramped up. Also it gave her a smoking habit!! I can appreciate a well played addiction to cope in text. Idk I just read it and kinda went "woah she suddenly feels like a real person to me"

But like, that for Rin here. She's working triple overtime in the hospital, day and night. The war is getting worse and worse and some nights she comes home w her gloves still stained in the blood of her patients from back to back surgeries where her patients died on the table. They have her listed for eye trauma specifically after her successful transplant for Kakashi, and she's proving to be invaluable for the patients w eye based kekkei genkkai. She wants to go into specifically researching and healing for eye bloodline limits, but is struggling to convince the clans to allow her access to that information.

Kakashi's new home is closer to the hospital that Rin's parents, and stuff w her parents is starting to get... tense. It hurts them, to see their daughter struggling like this. To see her coming home with dulled eyes and bloodied hands. To be waken by her nightmares and then not know how to comfort her.

Rin slowly starts staying over with Kakashi more and more and after a while she's just kind of fully moved in, but neither of them actually really talk about it

Let them be best friends w a kind of codependency on eachother that would be concerning if not for how it's very clearly keeping both of their heads afloat as days go on and things get worse.

Queerplatonic besties Rin and Kakashi sharing the same bed so when they wake up screaming they can help eachother go back to sleep easier. Rin likes it when Kakashi summons his ninken to sleep w them. They sleep easier w eachother bc they feel safer knowing they're there to have eachothers back, just like they would on the field

Anyways, Kakashi moves out of his clan compound and into the Uchiha's. He's neighbors with a little 6 year old Shisui and is kind of picked up by the scruff by a lot of Uchiha who have really weird complex feelings ab Obito's death (many of them feeling bad ab not having reached out before to him / seeing him die so young, and then projecting that onto Kakashi)

Kakashi and sometimes Rin kind of accidentally becoming a babysitter for Itachi both bc of proximity and bc Mikoto is friends with Kushina

On that note -> Minato does not really get the ghost marriage thing. He's civilian born, and the practice is really old and hasn't really been used since like, warring states era. So Minato is kind of weirded out and very "uhhh. Are you SURE this is what you wanna do?" But Kakashi seems set, and like, if it helps him cope???

He is however very supportive of getting Kakashi out of the fucking tomb of his father's house and into the much more populated and lively Uchiha clan compound

Minato makes Kakashi ANBU and designates him as his home guard specifically to keep him off the battlefield. He lowkey does the same to Rin (minus the ANBU part) positioning her in the hospital and making sure she's getting that good good mednin education. If pressed on why she doesn't go out as a field medic, he insists it's because she shows too much promise as a healer to risk— not now that they've lost Tsunade. If Rin can grow to be even half as good as she is, it'll be worth keeping her away from the fighting.

Neither Kakashi nor Rin feel very good about this decision (tho hypocritically, they agree w it when it comes to the other, bc ofc they do)

Rin doesn't die bc I say so and Obito does a comedy spit take when he inevitably learns he's legally married to Kakashi under the eyes of the Sage, Amaterasu and all.

[thechaoticdruid]

I don't know why whether Astarion does or doesn't want kids is such a hot debate. I feel like he could go either way to be honest. Imma be honest as someone who isn't eager to have kids irl I think some of y'all are projecting yourselves onto Astarion when you say he wouldn't want them.

If you pay attention to him carefully in game it's pretty clear he just pretends to hate kids. (Likely as an unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with the fact that he was forced to kidnap the gur children)

You know like how he pretends to hate Scratch, how he pretends to hate kind people, how he pretends he doesn't care about anyone, need I say more?

You know the man bullshits half the time right?

Man is legit concerned if Yenna is kidnapped by Orin, approves of giving her food or money, and approves of saving Vanra from Ethel before killing the hag.

My own personal headcanon is that if Tav (or whoever he's romanced by) wants kids, then Astarion will probably warm up to the idea and if Tav doesn't then Astarion is perfectly happy being child free.

Whether or not he'd be a good dad is a whole different ball game entirely. I personally think he would be far from perfect, (likely he would have no fucking idea what he was doing most of the time) but he'd care about his kid. I honestly get a little pissed off when people say he would be a deadbeat dad, because unless we're talking about the ascendant version of him that is so not true.

I can however definitely see him raising a spoiled rotten entitled brat who gets away with murder though. But him not being interested in his kid whatsoever does not feel right to me.

Basically I'm just saying let people enjoy their little dhampir baby fantasies godsdamnit.

If you don't want kids it's perfectly valid. You do you honey! Enjoy all that extra child-free cash you're gonna have! Take a vacation, travel, buy all shit you want! Enjoy your freedom!

I really don't like the idea of being responsible for children irl personally but the idea of having a sweet dhamphir daughter with long bouncy white curls just makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

[twiisted-king]

⊙ THE SPOT BF HC’s ⊙

➟ The Spot / Jonathan Ohnn X GN!Reader 🕳️

➟ NSFW / SFW ( he has such raw sex appeal )

➟ TW : Insecurities, Workplace Abuse, Body Image, SEX, & Murder :)

————————————————————————

⊙ PRE-COLLIDER

— Jonathan is PAINFULLY average.

— Sure his colleagues like him and he has a good standing with his superiors, But he just doesn’t have a lot going for him.

— Which is why he wonders why an angel like you loves him so much.

— He enjoys the domesticity of y’all’s relationship when he isn’t stuck at the lab or doing scientific research. Like make the man a nice home cooked meal and take a shower with him, it makes him happy beyond belief.

— He has quips. Jonathan just loves making you laugh and he’s actually pretty good at laughing at himself whenever he does something stupid. He knows you won’t judge him.

— Kind of obsessed? Besides work, you are all he thinks about and focuses on. He has plans for the future of your relationship ( MARRIAGE ).

— He’s the type of person to keep a picture of you on his desk.

— Adding onto the obsessed part, he can be possessive. I feel like that’s a given with him.

— Jonathan is insecure. He knows that there are a lot of more attractive, cooler people out there and he worries that he’ll fuck up one day and you’ll leave him. Please comfort him.

— Arguments are few and far between. He’s good at resolving whatever issues that may come up with good ol’ communication.

— He keeps you as far away from his work life as possible. He NEVER EVER wants you to get caught up in the messes that are his projects and he knows just how dangerous working with physics is. Plus Wilson Fisk might use you as leverage to get Jonathan to do what he wants.

— sex time boys :)

— You wanna have sex .. WITH HIM!? That’s kind of his instant reaction though he isn’t opposed.

— I don’t think he’s a virgin, But he’s not the most experienced. He might’ve had a few partners in college though that’s about it. I’m sure he had a few admirers at Alchemax though he was far too busy with working to care plus he had you.

— I don’t think he has a preference for who is dominant and submissive. If you want to edge him until he cries that’s cool! But he’s also chill with taking the lead and fucking you into submission.

— This man is PACKIN’. You can disagree with me all you want, But it’s always the dorky ones that have the most dick. He probably thought that he wasn’t big since he’s since all of these videos talking about how “ 6 inches isn’t big enough yadi yada “. So he was incredibly nervous taking his pants off the first time and he just sorta held his breath, waiting for a reaction of disappointment. He ended up being pleasantly surprised in the end of and was more than happy to shove his dick down your throat.

— His dick is skinnier than it is thick. Poor dude has an INCREDIBLY sensitive head and a prominent vein running up the underside of his shaft.

— Prefers positions where he can see your face. He thinks eyes are the windows to the soul and being able to focus on your expressions makes sex 100X more enjoyable.

— SIT ON THIS MANS FACE. Force him to take all of you inside his mouth and then ride his nose until you’re seeing stars.

— Jonathan let’s out the pathetic noises. He’ll whine, whimper, moan, etc.

————————————————————————

⊙ POST-COLLIDER

— honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’

— He becomes almost 1,000X more clingy and loving.

— He’s absolutely horrified at what happened to him and feels like he’s a burden to you now. He can’t even kiss you for god’s sake!

— Spot will get steal gifts for you in an effort to make up for having to date an idiot like him. He’s much more withdrawn and silent though he’s still prone to using humor as a coping skill.

— Once he realizes that you aren’t going to leave him is probably when he resorts to crime. He would never leave you as the main breadwinner no matter how much you can provide for y’all and will do whatever he can to make sure you are well cared for.

— He’ll never allow you to go out with him when he’s committing crimes. If you were to get hurt or worse ( ahem die ) he would probably never forgive himself.

— You are now his world and he must protect his world at all cost.

— He’s become even more obsessed with your face now that he doesn’t have a proper one. Kissing is a little awkward, But he still appreciates that you’re willing to be affectionate with him.

— You can be curious about his spots, But don’t expect him to let you go through one. It’s already difficult enough for him to control them and he doesn’t want to send you to a whole other universe.

— He has become much more confident as The Spot. He’ll make big risky choices and no longer wants to be a doormat. Arguments are still uncommon though he isn’t afraid to defend the crimes he commits because at the end of the day it’s all for you.

— Being a interdimensional criminal isn’t the most ideal job, But it all comes back to his love for you and don’t ever forget that.

— Has told you to “ Come check out his hole “ a couple of times whenever he figures out his powers, he is definitely aware of how dirty he makes it sound.

— time to get down and dirty in Jonathan’s holes :)

— For starters, he didn’t LOSE his dick it’s just kind of chilling in a void pocket. Go read Spotless on AO3, The Spot actually has a dick in that fic in a way that makes sense.

— He’s grateful you still want to be intimate with him. He can be a little awkward sometimes though he makes up for it.

— Becoming a supervillain has made this man an absolutely menace in bed. He’ll overstimulate and edge you to make sure you remember he isn’t just some lowlife scientist anymore.

— Jonathan’s rougher and manhandles you, forcing you into whatever position he wants.

— It’s a little silly if you imagine it with his regular voice ngl, BUT THE MEAN VOICE? oh my god.

— Repeats phrases like “ mine “ whenever he fucks you and let’s out this raspy little laugh whenever you tell him it’s too much.

— It’s a little pointless for you to pleasure him now so he solely focuses on you. Plus it’s a way for him to blow off steam after a fight with Miles.

— Could you have sex with one of his holes? Does he even feel pleasure anymore? I have many questions that I will ignore for the sake of fanfiction.

— Imagine getting choked by this dude?

— This motherfucker definitely still whimpers though as The Spot and you can’t tell me otherwise.

[raconteur-wanpi]

Rereading Syrup village and I forgot what a huge part of Usopp's character is about being shamed and put down for the very things he's proud about. Things he has no control over, like class or who his family is. Being ostracized for these things even, and doubling down on said pride almost as a coping mechanism. And he has evey right to.

The things Kuro says about him are so cruel. And if nobody's gonna say it I will; there's really racist undertones to Kuro's words as well. And maybe it's not meant to be the actual in-universe reading, but it's easy to read into it at the very least symbolically. Like damn this guy sucks. I've said it before, but he really is the cruel, dishonest liar opposed to Usopp as the kind story-crafter. Usopp tells Kaya stories to make her feel better, Kuro tells her lies to control her. And because Kuro seems ashamed to be a failure and a pirate himself, he projects this onto Usopp, who is used to getting treated that way. Seeing him stand up for himself like this is something I miss so dearly.

"I'm only speaking the truth". What a piece of shit. He really is the wolf in sheep's clothing that the boy cried about.

[chaifootsteps]

there are so many little hints that support Blitzfizz and feel like foreshadowing

Blitzo's love letter to him, the way he still so clearly carries a torch for him and never let it go (and the way they have a bond because these two are actual childhood friends). The way he keeps calling Fizz a sellout to cope with his jealousy but it's also because he thinks Fizz deserves better than Mammon. The way Fizz feels smothered and overprotected by Ozzie. The way they both have relationships with a massive class difference. Even the way they made up ridiculously quickly once they both knew the other wanted to see them the whole time. The shot of Fizz and Ozzie kissing and when they part, Blitzo is between them. The way Fizz's "anyone who judges royals is just as bad" reads a lot better if we assume he's just projecting his own relationship insecurities onto Blitzo. The way Blitzo makes total heart eyes at him when Fizz makes him part of his routine in 'Look at This' and the way he blushes when Fizz is showing him blindfolds in Full Moon (just the general way he looks at Fizz with the most adoration and desire he's shown to anyone in the show - far more than he's ever managed to look at Stolas with)

it wouldn't make up for all of s2's writing problems but it genuinely would be a good plot twist/development if Blitzfizz happened. because the show hasn't really done much of anything to make it convincing why it should be stol1tz instead - Blitz will always hold Fizz in his heart, admires and adores him, but we have no idea what would be missing from his life if Stolas wasn't in it.

If anything it would be a net positive because he wouldn't be expected to clean up Stolas' messes anymore or deal with all his passive-aggressive 'I'm never wrong' BS. The whole redemption through accountability thing works far better with Blitzfizz because Blitzo did hurt him. It was an accident but it still had a major effect on Fizz. meanwhile the only damage Blitzo has done to Stolas is in Stolas' head - by Stolas' own admission Blitzo didn't mean to hurt him and it didn't mean anything; it was just his own delusions about what was happening that resulted in him getting his poor owl fee fees hurt

I think HB holds some kind of record for the amount of things that feel like foreshadowing, only to be discarded immediately, and Blitz and Fizz's relationship is definitely one of them. Everything about it just feels inevitable, but nope, sad crying owl.

[sssarrrra]

𝗗𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗲𝘃𝘀𝗸𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘆

Dostoevsky hates having feelings. They remind Fyodor about his own humanity. So how does he cope? He projects his feelings onto God.

Every time he experiences an emotion, either positive or negative, he pretends that it's some kind of “God's message”.

Fyodor believes that all of his emotions belong to God or come from him. Demon assumes: all that he feels is reflection of God's will.

“My ability hurt me and made me feel wrong. Of course, God wants to remove all the abilities in the world!” — something like that.

Dostoevsky can't allow himself to be angry, sad, bitter, or jealous. He sees emotions as excessive and would never acknowledge the simple fact that he has them.

But what If something upsets God? Then, Fyodor has to act. It's not for him, it's not selfish, it's for the sake of Creator.

And coincidentally, almost magically, everything that Fyodor hates, displeases God too. Everything that causes Fyodor pain, well, God wants it gone as well.

And every person who Fyodor likes, hates or simply can't save? God welcomes them in Heaven. In his Godly rehabilitation center.

Pretty convenient, yes?

You can see how Fyodor's faith isn't meant to restrict him. It's a system of beliefs he uses to enable and redirect everything he can't accept in himself. Every feeling, thought and compulsion Dostoevsky doesn't want to take responsibility for – they all come from God.

All Fyodor's love is for God.

All of his anger is for God's sake.

All his sins are God's responsibility, already predestined and included in God's plan.

This way Demon can't be held accountable for his actions or emotions. Because all Dostoevsky's feelings aren't his. They belong to God.

It's His will speaking through Fyodor's heart strings.

Since Dostoevsky can't have human emotions. Even all of his impulses are controlled by God and Him alone.

If likes or hates someone, it's not his personal preferences. It's Higher power sending him a signal.

Therefore Fyodor doesn't have to see or evaluate himself as an individual, but only as a continuation of God's will.

This way no shame, anger, or guilt can ever apply to him.

This what Dostoevsky tells himself.

People don't hate Fyodor – they hate God's will. Therefore, they are sinners. And will be treated accordingly. None of their words ever apply to Fyodor as a person.

So he'll do his best not to care at all.

[pomeness]

Yapping about Kainess breakup

Kaiser was at his gentlest with Ness during his breakup and it was so fucked up for him.

Do I think it could've been worse? Yes. Do I still think it's still cruel for him to let Ness go this way? Absolutely.

See, Kaiser has never actually been nice to Ness: he was either mean or neutral towards him, calling him loser since day one (you have a way with words, Michael...).

The only other moment where Kaiser was "gentle" with Ness was in the hair cutting scene. I don't know how authentic Kaiser was being because we miss his pov. My theory about it is that it was some sort of last trial for Ness, to see if he really was the obedient dog that Kaiser spotted months (weeks?) prior.

It was less about trust and more about control. See how much Ness is willing to do for him. I think his first attempt for this was when he asked him to wash his hair in the shower scene. Kaiser was testing how much he could take from Ness without giving anything back.

He never planned to return Ness' "love", because Kaiser himself does Not see that as affection. It's something taken for granted, like the unconditional love you expect your dog to give you even if you neglect it.

Also Kaiser does not see Ness as a person, nor as something valuable. He does not see him "at his level", as a peer. Of course he would never want that type of love. Kaiser would probably feel love only if it's from someone he considers valuable. Someone he's at the same level on his imaginary hyerarchy.

On the other hand, we have Ness. Ness, who has poured his own whole identity into Kaiser. Kaiser is the centre of his world. The reason he is still playing football, his magic.

He's also someone he's projected onto like crazy.

Ness has never heard anything gentle come from Kaiser's mouth until that very moment. And then Kaiser shatters it all in the cruelest way possible.

I think the kindness he reserved to Ness was a vile way to let him down. See, if Kaiser had kept following his malicious pattern, for Ness it would've been easier to cope. But no, he chose to be kind and it's a slap right into Ness' face.

The words Kaiser deliver carry a double message. On one side, he's grateful for Ness, on another he's breaking up their friendship.

From Ness' pov, this is atrocious to witness. Because now what? Ness can be angry at Kaiser, hate him even, but he'd always feel guilty deep down, due to that sparkle of kindness Kaiser has shown to him.

I think I'd convey this sensation better using an example: imagine your (asshole) partner is breaking up with you and they do it by saying "I love what we had and you made me grow as a person, but I don't want you in my life anymore because I found someone else and it's different" or smt like that which makes you feel used. Like Ness gave everything to Kaiser, and Kaiser barely thanked him before moving on. Which leaves Ness with what? Nothing. Exactly. Not even an excuse to explode and be angry because of how "sweet" those words were for him. It's like Kaiser stunned him with a kiss before hitting him with a baseball bat. Like damn just use an axe next time jeez.

I think Ness will DEFINITELY have withdrawal symptoms after their separation is complete. Textbook withdrawal symptoms. Baby boy will struggle a LOT, and the fact he's all alone now? Without any support network? Damn.

Anyway from Kaiser's pov it makes sense and to him it's not even manipulative and he Is actually being kind. This is because, given that he sees Ness as a tool, he is just basically firing him from his job position. Like yeah you served me well but now I don't need you anymore so go serve someone else. Kaiser has no empathy nor shows any guilt and he's never attached himself to Ness as a person. To him it's like changing a pair of shoes, he's like "aw these don't fit anymore... anyway!" before discarding them away.

Is it cruel? Maybe. But given his backstory, his antisocial personality and his narcissistic traits... it makes sense for him to act this way.

((There's much more I could yap about but I'm gonna stop here and maybe make another post.))

[findmeinthefallair]

The scenes towards the end of the finale were like an intersection of multiple characters experiencing the loss of father figures, in different shades:

Luz's relationship to her late father took on a different form, after King's own father passed on and his glyph magic was gone for good. Manny gifting her the Azura books before his death, and Papa Titan offering her glyph magic before he too passed on, helped Luz find her place in the world and defeat Belos.

Apparently this scene is what made Sarah Nicole-Robles bawl in the recording studio, right after she recorded the lines.

When these changes happen - when we experience the loss of a person, when our ties with them are wrangled into a new form, against our will - it can be devastatingly painful. Change and transformation make for fancy, dramatic scenes in fiction, and they always incur loss in some form, painful or not. It also made me so emotional when seeing how much 18-year-old Luz resembles Manny, and how her enrolment in the university is linked to both her biological father and Papa Titan.

King's experience of seeing the majesty of his father, however brief, left him in awe and exhilaration. He can rest in the beautiful knowledge that Papa Titan was watching over him the whole time too. The message that his dad left him, relayed by Luz, is something he'll hold dear forever.

Hunter will never be truly harmed by Belos ever again. But he can't discard the memories of Belos granting him attachment: even if the attachment ended up not being real in a sense. However, like what can be applied in real-life therapy, he can get guidance on how to rescript those memories.

Belos's lies about having good intentions don't change how it felt real to Hunter all those years ago. Hunter was a young child when receiving this 'love', and in a twisted way...the mission given to him by Belos kept him alive up till he could escape the Coven, because the mission gave his life meaning despite the circumstances being awfully terrible. A child cannot survive without attachment, and needs attachment even if the experience of attachment has been horrendous and scarring. And holy Titan don't get me started on how at age 16 (before the timeskip), he had yet to learn more grisly details about his predecessors - whom he might view as older brothers and fathers whom he never met - and the generational trauma in his Golden Guard family tree:

which would have definitely been explored before he could experience that amazing hard-won serenity and peace at age 20.

Even Philip's arc is inextricably tied to his manner of coping with how he murdered Caleb, who was the closest thing he had to a father, given how these two brothers were orphans. In the end, Philip meets his end while Luz gazes upon him the same way Caleb's ghost did. Philip won't be haunted by Caleb's ghost again, and he joins the person who was essentially his father figure in death. Till the very end, he was projecting onto another person because he didn't want to recognize the same traits in himself. He was the one responsible for his father figure's death.

But grief doesn't mean the relationships in question have ended altogether. It's kind of like what this post about the finale (link) says, and it even extends to the relationship between us fans and the show itself.

The cliché "5 Stages of Grief" is the most commonly mentioned grief model, but I follow the development and advocacy of a newer perspective on grief that challenges it. In fact, the 5 Stages was originally just intended for terminally ill patients, but it was taken out of proportion. I began a serious investigation into the newer models after I went through something that parallels Hunter losing Flapjack...eerily, it happened to me two weeks before TTT's release date. No wonder I feel so close to Hunter as a blorbo, I guess.

Unlike what the 5 Stages of Grief says, grief and linear time don't mix well. Without "stages" to follow, there isn't an expectation of some deadline or permanent end of a tunnel in the newer models. Such pressure wouldn't be honoring the sacredness of connections between us. Instead, less famous grief perspectives like the dual-process model and continuing bonds model, are a better fit to honor relationships that mattered, since they aren't given an expiry date.

I wonder how Luz would be feeling on the day she graduates from the Wild Magic University, and how King feels each time he unlocks his own new glyphs since he is the new Titan to supply the Isles with magic. And I wonder how Hunter felt when his coven sigil was replaced with the Flapjack tattoo, and how he feels when he sees the Gravesfield town seal and Wittebane statues.

There are ways in which they can get creative to integrate their grief (notice I didn't say "get rid of", "remove", "erase" or even "manage"...the pain is what is to be managed, not the grief itself) the best they can. In canon, we have examples such as the Hexsquad agreeing to get their Flapjack tattoos together. Luz letting go of the light glyph sheet here:

is also a fantastic representation of rituals like sending off a message in a bottle at a beach, tying a message to a balloon and letting it fly away (this happened in Reaching Out, didn't it?), or burning a message in a campfire to let it float up towards the sky in the form of embers.

It is a common recommendation to have exercises like letter-writing where the griever writes to the lost loved one. What many may not know is you can also do the reverse: you writing as your lost loved one, to yourself. Because the griever takes a piece of the lost loved one with them, that the griever has shaped within themselves. This is especially good if you need to extend forgiveness to yourself. An example from a book called Bearing the Unbearable:

The author felt responsible for the stillbirth of her child, but had a "happy accident" where she intuitively asked for forgiveness and then received it, by invoking the love that her child would have shown to her in a world where said child had remained alive.

I think Hunter in particular could benefit from something like this, writing to himself as the uncle whom he saw as genuine and nurturing, and gaining ownership of that part of him even though Belos was a liar and is now gone for good. It can help him move forward especially since he won't be spared from nightmares in which his loss is re-enacted. With this kind of rescripting, historical accuracy doesn't actually need to matter. After all, our own minds lie to us at times and mess with historical accuracy anyway, like Luz's thoughts telling her she was as bad as Belos, and how true that felt.

A physical loved one is lost to death, and it can feel just as painful - only in a different way - if people become estranged or separated without a literal death having occurred. But the connection to them isn't lost, it is only adapted. The bond continues. For better or worse.

I believe the pain in grieving is connected to each moment when we remember all over again that the one we loved isn't coming back.

It's like the needle of a gramophone getting stuck in the loop of an unpleasant-sounding record scratch noise. It's a bit like what C.S. Lewis says in his book A Grief Observed: "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out." I can't find the other part but he later said something like, therefore if a friendship is lost, the part of you that only that friend could bring out, is also lost. Something in you is locked away forever, though new things can also be unlocked after the loss.

It wasn't shown onscreen but I wouldn't be surprised if it's regular for Luz to come across a meme and be freshly reminded of her dad's absence, because she can't show him that meme. King would be wishing that a new funny cat video he discovers is something his dad could also laugh at along with him. Hunter would be hoping that Flapjack, the previous Golden Guards and Caleb are watching as he brings back palismen.

Bereavement, and any grief that is significant enough to alter our personhood forever, are the forms of love that can never really grasp how time flows in a linear way. They can't be reasoned with, only experienced.

"...the howling at the center of grief is raw and real. It is love in its most wild form" - Megan Devine.

[skybristle]

BENDING HORIZONS IS DONE!

my local group is done!!! short descriptions r below cut!!!! im so so excited guys omg. please ask abt them [also pls rb this took ages and im rlly proud of them!] toyhouse link here that also has full individual images!!! point out ur faves! im so excited to present them to you all [please like them please like them please l- /lh]

without further ado, here we go! in seniority [and image] order

Plunging Flows of Ash [PFA] - he/him [woman!!] He’s definitely winning his senior of the cycle award! He’s been pretty depressed and poorly functioning from the jump, but would often rely on his partner, Sparks, for help and support. When she’s in her darkest hour, and his privileges as senior are needed, he consistently fails to deliver despite her constant aid in return… and after the mass ascension, he just falls off the face of the earth, sleeping through his own depression even as his dysfunctional group desperately needs him. The catalyst for everything- as he fractured his group in two with his actions and fails to rise to their needs, and he has a chronic inability to accept his own wrongdoings and the fact things have changed. Associated Slugcat: The Colorburst Countless Swirling Sparks [CSS] - she/any Well known among iterators for her many, many methods of iteration and other inventions, Sparks was built with an unusually large [and haphazard] structure that she uses to its full advantage. Always with countless screens pulled up around her, always on some project, eating up her own escapism. She was failed by her creators long ago, but is so desperate to see her fellow iterators happy she keeps pushing on. In lieu of Ash, she has risen to a faux senior status - though lacking any powers to enforce her position. Only about half of the group [Ochre, Chimes, and Aurora] answer to her with any respect of authority- she has not been able to reach the others. Her resentment for her situation with her former lover is festering, and may explode violently once things go awry… Associated Slugcat: The Brainiac

Erupting Maw [EM] - she/her She’s fucking crazy!!! Worshiped as a god by her colony, she has not coped with their loss well. Originally seeking to replace the void left by their departure, she created purposed organisms to inhabit her city and later her can… but watching them rip eachother apart was simply so much more cathartic. She has full control! Her ego and disdain for other iterators as lowly in comparison only grows. Over the cycles, her can has become notorious for having some of the most deadly creatures. She’s an expert of bioengineering… but is the danger in seeking her aid worth it? Associated Slugcat: The Gladiator

Budding Ochre Opportunities [BOO] - she/flor Based on solarpunk aesthetics, flors city and can truly is a delight! With a colony full of roof gardens and brilliant colors, she herself has taken to turning her puppet chamber into a garden. Kind and compassionate, though cutting and assertive, she has made peace with her situation as an iterator and is just trying to live a good life. As flor adds to flors collection, she doesn’t consider any of it may posit a danger to her structure. But she would be at peace with that, too, if it were to occur. The only question is if those who care about her, such as her dearest Chimes, would be. Associated Slugcat: The Recon

Resonant Chimes [RC] - he/him He’s really just chilling, hanging out. No secret problems here, no deep-seated depression over the loss of his colony that he hangs onto, no karma flowers being poured into his puppet coolant just to feel something, none of that! Collecting music, friends with slugcats and scavs alike, having a good time. He’s surprisingly intelligent and has his morals more sorted than just about anyone here, but he’s held back by general apathy and his losses. Maybe, so many cycles detached from their creators, he won’t have to worry about losing anyone again. As long as he drinks the tea, he doesn’t have to think about it, and can pull himself closer to those below who left him. Associated Slugcat: The Gardener

Reaching for Caged Starlight [RCS] - she/it/ast Frustrated endlessly, as most iterators are, by being locked in a box, she’s determined to put an end to this. Not by ascension, though. She’s determined to free them from their cans- allow an escape from this maze. Ast wants to remove the puppet from the umbilical, in a manner where they don’t lose themself completely. Much easier said than done! Its undoing, however, is its cautious and methodical nature. She is too light on her feet to simply dare and cut the wire, let alone having the experience to snap the mechanical arm entrapping her. But, she has all the time in the world, and she will one day see the stars they made her mocking name after. They’ll all see. Ast will get there, by any cost necessary, even if her fellow iterators are disposable to this goal. Associated Slugcat: The Seamstress

A Glittering Aurora [AGA] - she/he Need some gossip? He’s your guy, all right! She burns her endless time away on global chats, basking in the amusement and the knowledge. A bit of a nuisance to her own local group, as she simply can not keep a secret, but… what happens when technology degrades, the message board is silent, he no longer can block out his circumstances,,, and the drama reaches a bit too close to home? Associated Slugcat: The Copycat Wandering Whispers [WW] - they/them A very quiet, lonely iterator, Whispers strays to themself. Only allowed to speak to their fellow iterators for shipments, or, occasionally, their senior for guidance, there were few connections for them besides to the one who vanished off the face of the earth. With their personality thoroughly destroyed by the iron fist of their colony, they simply… quietly observe. But they may hear something they’re not supposed to, and, desperate for a replacement for their mentor, lead themself astray. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and they will glimpse the void in the end and take the plunge. Associated Slugcat: The Mercy

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hii, may i ask for EJ, Masky and Hoodie (separately) with a s/o who is a really picky eater?

EJ, Masky, Hoodie x reader who is a picky eater

admin himself is a picky eater due to reasons and he kind of ends up projecting himself onto the reader- sooooo! UHUH! obviously admins experience does not reflect everyones! notes: reader is GN, reader is a human and is implied to be a normal person (ie not a creepypasta) cws: struggles with food

EYELESS JACK

obligatory eyeless jack cant eat human food anymore so internally, it makes him feel a little... hmm... that youre a picky eater. BUT it should be noted that hes far more understanding if its something you cant control and you arent picky just because

he doesnt force you to eat foods he knows that trigger you, if you struggle with textures or smell, but food at his place tends to be very limited.. its best to do meals at your place so you have the access and flexibility you need!

copes with the first bullet by cooking when he can/gets the chance, and being with you gives him the opportunity. makes food for you and masters foods you know you like

slowly tries to introduce you to other foods if youre lacking in something vital, med student brain is being all too loud in his head and he wants you to be healthy- leads to you guys experimenting with what works

struggle with texture? you guys can try "hiding" the offending food or changing the texture- by way of cooking, mincing, or blending

MASKY

he doesnt really care, hes not really a picky eater himself but what you eat isnt really any of his business

sometimes snatches foods he knows you can eat and/or enjoy, feels nice when he sees your eyes light up when he comes in with it

i dont think he would encourage you to eat anything you dont want to eat, the only time he would force something in your mouth is like... meds...

very on top of any meds you need and he will not take too kindly to you skipping out on them on purpose ESPECIALLY if theyre lifesaving

but thats not really good, is it?

doesnt care if your limited diet is from something or another, if you want to tell him thats your choice

HOODIE

he doesnt mind all that much and honestly i can see him being a bit of a picky eater- though he forces himself to eat anything out of survival given hes running around in the woods and doesnt exactly have a home or place to go to to keep safe foods

you both have a stash of easy meals/snacks that you both enjoy as a quick and easy grab thing if you guys dont feel like making something

doesnt force you to expand your palette in normal scenarios, in the case where things are limited and you need to eat or youll die or just... not be in a good place, he does try to encourage you

even offers you the better option if there are multiple options, letting himself take the worse thing

no judgement here, doesnt know nutrition stuff as long as you're both able to survive

[cologona]

See in my eyes the greatest tragedy of DITF is that events were leading up to Bruce and Jason finally resolving this simmering issue between them, where Jason thought being Robin was what gave him a place next to Bruce, and Bruce was treating his, Dick, and Jason’s trauma as identical.

The thing that busts my balls about Robin Lives is that it has the broad strokes of what the hypothetical timeline where Jason lives should have.

Bruce realizes his mistake in uncritically projecting his own trauma and coping mechanisms onto his sons, growing from hyperactively empathetic into genuinely compassionate. Jason gets security (emotional security, which given that superhero comics are a story of symbols means it’s the most important kind) from the reassurance that he is loved regardless of his title as Robin and gets to really choose if he wants to be a vigilante or civilian. He gets to grow up.

That Jason doesn’t survive in the main timeline is a tragedy because instead of that emotional resolution and eventual growth we just get a teenager’s corpse and a father regressing into the worst possible version of himself.

But Robin Lives isn’t interested in any of that. It knows but it doesn’t care, because a lot of that great juicy stuff is just relegated to stray panels and background exposition.

Despite the narration being from the POV of Jason’s own therapist there’s very little description of what Jason’s actually going through at all. He gets like a few panels on one page max to voice his thoughts and the rest is what? A bunch of vague drivel about how he’s so broken and traumatized. More frequently the therapist narrator is talking about how beautifully and nobly Bruce suffers. Gimme a break!

As far as Robin Lives is concerned the most interesting thing Jason can do is be a wretch. As far as it’s concerned Jason is nothing, he’s a prop, he’s a moral landmass over which the forces of the two real main characters of this story fight.

I can’t express how much contempt I have for this story, with that ending which is clearly trying to make a Deep Statement about ~the cycle of violence~. Except if it was really invested in the point it was trying to make it’d take more interest in Jason himself as the principal subject. It would give a shit about how valuable the opportunity to heal is.

It would not have Jason get help and grow into his own as an adult, only to inexplicably become evil because what- he killed Joker so that means the moral disease transferred to him? See how stupid it sounds when I say it out loud. According to Robin Lives there’s just no hope once you’ve been Broken. You are doomed to become your abuser.

And that shallow symmetry this story forces the characters into, with Dick and Jason becoming the new Batman and Joker rubs salt into the wound. A dichotomy between those who are Good (like Bruce and Dick who respond to trauma by becoming even more pure) and those who are Weak (like Jason and -apparently- Joker, who go into hysterics and subsequently catch the disease of Evil). How OOC the characters felt should’ve been a warning to the writer that something was off, but alas!!!!

I’ll stop here now because I’m getting too heated to be coherent, but yeah I Dislike This Comic.

[mal3vol3nt]

This is kinda a long read. But I wanna ask your opinion on this. I see this one post saying Zutara is a purely female fantasy and that’s why so many people hate it. Basically saying it was made for girls, by girls, it has everything a girl wants in a relationship and “When people attack the idea of Zutara, this is fundamentally what they're attacking-women and girls wanting better for themselves in a relationship.”

Now I am just a man. But I think this argument especially the latter part is such a reach and a cope. I don’t see how shipping a fanon ship is some big feminist thing. There are women I know who love Kataang (and if you ask me most of what they’re describing Zutara is actually Kataang in disguise) and there are some guys who like Zutara (which is perfectly fine as long as you don’t write a slave-fic about it like this one guy.

Call me insensitive, but it seems like this guy has some weird victim complex.

Here’s the link BTW:

https://www.tumblr.com/longing-for-rain/753424994905800704/this-isnt-a-question-about-whether-or-not-zutara?source=share

i agree with you anon. i think it’s very silly that these people think a fandom ship is the peak of activism/feminism. such a claim, dare i say, reeks of white feminism, especially when you take into account that the ship they’re claiming is “so feminist” is a relationship between a canonical colonizer and a victim of genocide

the things the op of that zutara post listed are all very westernized “issues” that they claim shipping zutara is supposedly fighting against while also praising western standards, such as saying that zutara is for the girls who want to be with a man they’re attracted to, directly saying that aang is unattractive because he doesn’t fit western beauty standards whereas zuko does. as well as saying zutara is for the girls who want passion in their relationships, directly saying that zuko’s hot-headedness and western masculine qualities are hotter than aang’s pacifism and him being a monk. this claim is also pretty on par with how zutaras sexualize the relationship between zuko and katara, which i don’t even want to get into for obvious reasons. needless to say, i think all of these claims are very very stupid and so obviously come from someone who gravitates towards the racism of the show. sorry not sorry

these claims also come from someone who twists aang’s character so that they feel more justified in hating him, and who twist katara and zuko’s characters so their ship works better. because at no point in the show does it ever feel like katara is changing herself to be with aang, as if she would ever do that (i can tell this is a southern raiders argument—i swear these people misread and latch onto everything). at no point in the show does it ever feel like katara is unattracted to aang, especially since she’s the one who initiates both the first and the last kiss between them, is constantly touching him, and gives him kisses on the cheek in a way she doesn’t do with any one else (she also audibly gasps when she first sees his tattoos in episode 1, which could be read as just her being shocked because she’s never seen airbender tattoos before, but considering the fact her crush on him develops quickly by the beginning of book 2 and she marries him, i wouldn’t be surprised if she also liked the way they looked). all claims that fall back on katara forcing herself to be with aang for whatever reason are projection because 1) katara would never do that. she is not the kind of girl to force herself into any position that doesn’t make her happy, and we see her actively set boundaries with aang in canon, so she is obviously comfortable making her wants known, and 2) katara clearly doesn’t see things through the same lens as her so-called fans. just because you had a crush on zuko doesn’t mean that katara should too, and just because aang isn’t your type doesn’t mean he can’t be her type. yall are projecting onto her

the whole “zutara is for the girls” and “kataang is the male gaze” is so stupid because no, that’s not how that shit works and is a take that is so very american/western that i fail to take it seriously. and yes, i know atla is a western-created show with a western-intended audience, but the characters in the show aren’t and i feel it’s important to acknowledge that

now, i’m a girl (or a woman i should say, 19 years old lmao). and i live in a very patriarchal society and have dealt with sexist standards being forced onto me from my latino culture and family my whole life. it didn’t, however, take long for me to realize that i was unhappy with that way of life and have actively detached myself from it, instead gravitating towards fighting for and recognizing my freedom to choose. this is a freedom i believe all women should have, and i have dedicated myself to learning of the injustices women go through all over the world and do my best to fight against them from where i live. i detest the patriarchy and all things created that demean women or force them into any one role. i am also a lesbian who hardly ever thinks of men lmao. yet miraculously, i am a kataang shipper. according to these zutara stans, im a misogynist who prioritizes male pleasure and happiness. yet from what i know of myself, that’s not at all true. i couldn’t give less of a fuck about patriarchal standards and actively avoid them in the media i consume as much as i can. but i think kataang is cute and i turn away from the thought of zutara, so either one of two things are true:

kataang is for the girls and zutara is the male-gaze

or fictional character shipping has fuck all to do with activism and the kind of person you are in real life

i’m gonna go out on a limb and say number 2 is correct. whether you’re a zutara shipper or a kataang shipper, i don’t think that’s an instant tell of the kind of person you are in your real life. it’s not an actual tell of what you value and yall look ridiculous trying to paint one ship as better than the other on an innate moral level

at the end of the day, this is fandom shipping. you can be a horrible person who engages in shipping content and still be a horrible person at the end of the day regardless of which ship suits your fancy. cause it doesn’t fucking matter. neither of the ships are morally superior to the other in any way that has importance in the real world. yall need to get offline i swear

now personally, i think kataang is an infinitely better ship than zutara for many reasons that i have discussed before, so yall will never catch me saying kataang and zutara are equal in any other context but this one lmao

also saying any colonizer x colonized ship is superior will never be taken seriously by me. you can enjoy those kind of ships all you want, but they’ll never be my cup of tea and that doesn’t make me or anyone else anti-feminist or whatever the fuck insult zks throw out. i just prefer my ships to be between people who haven’t wiped out the other person’s race

[thepersonperson]

Ok so i kinda binge read all of your blogs in your pinned post and GODDAMN the gojo ones BROKE me it's not like i already didn't have a fair clue about the entire Gojo's loneliness and cruel treatment that's inflicted on him but going onto it in such deatail...oh my god... it's 2am here and i'm literally sobbing

i'm someone who's always been a part of either twitter or IG fandom and most of the times its either people (dudebros especially) are always completely mischaracterising Gojo, making him some kind of god who they can project themselves onto or either its just thrist posts or satosugu, female fans do have an emotional knowledge and understanding to it and it's no surprise how male fans perceive him but now when I think about it it's just so sad and unfair like even in real world people DO NOT see him for who he truly is (they just see him as the 'strongest' or 'nah i'd win' iykwim) and always ignore his vulnerability and emotions aspects of his character that makes him HUMAN oh my god it's making me sick. We don't deserve Gojo Satoru.

He is such a well written character, truly one of the best and Gege knew what he was doing when he made him such a prince charming, undeniably beautiful man to ecer exist and I think that just makes people completely ignore the core of his character.

I'm sorry if it ended up being a yapping session (you don't have to reply at all!! we cool)

I just couldn't help myself, your blogs seriously changed my life. If I loved Gojo before now I love him even more and most importantly I accept him for who he is, all these powerscalling seriously takes away so much of his character but sadly there's nothing we can do about it.

And let's not even start on the whole homosexuality romance stuff, there was no hope to begin with given the rise of dudebros in recent times.

brb gonna go cry more...

I love it when people yap at me don't worry about it.

Ok Anon. The timing of this ask is crazy because in the post you mention there was an interesting convo going on in the replies. I want to include them in my response to you.

Replies on the post mentioned by the anon from @userdemerda and @creatorizuru below the cut.

Thank you for the compliments.

Tag me in whatever fic you create userdemerda. (I actually went from an anime-only to a manga reader because I wanted to better understand Gojo to write a Gojo/Jogo fic. Part of the reason I started my yapfests was to write a Sukuna/Gojo fic. So I totally understand the obsession.)

This all is the power of Umineko. It's difficult piece of media to get through, but it very much encourages accepting people as their whole self rather than just the bits you enjoy. I really wanted to see all the love Gege put into the characters to better understand them.

On STSG...

Though the dudebros are less homophobic than they usually are with JJK, there are still some that can't fully embrace the queerness a part of Gojo's character. It's really important to knowing how he works. So even if you don't like the ship, you still should acknowledge that Geto is someone Gojo deeply loved.

As much as I like those two together, I would have loved to see Gojo move on in a way where he can carry the loss of Geto more like a charm than a curse. Everyone loves a good tragic first love, but second loves that acknowledge loss are quite rare.

On Gojo's end...

Gojo is one of the most traumatized characters in the series. And since JJK has otherwise done a good job showcasing how people cope with trauma, I can't accept the ending's pacing and tone as someone who has recently started recovering from my own. It's a slog, non-linear, and it takes a lot of time.

When I want Gojo to come back it's because I'm so sick and tired of extremely traumatized characters getting killed off because creators don't know how to handle or even want to depict their recovery process. It really mirrors how people irl will just give up and leave you to rot.

Yuji and Megumi were having a pretty good long-term display of the recovery process right up until the end. One of the things about trauma is you can't ever go back to the way things were. You can try, but it's always just kind of there. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. Just a thing you accept. Sadly, JJK dropped the ball on that.

Especially with Sukuna. Acknowledging your trauma is the first step. You can't cast it aside and move onto the next life like that. I cannot vibe with one of the other most traumatized characters needing to die to get his recovery process started. He was in denial way more than Gojo. You can't just flip on a dime like that. I wish I could just flip on a dime like that.

And the last point from userdmerda:

"speaking as a person who lives with post-traumatic stress and has big problems healing from the past all i want is to move on and be mentally healthy and i wish so much that satoru could have had that"

That's why Gojo's death and the world moving on like he never existed feels really bad. I think it's because that's often how traumatized people like him get treated irl. You can see the negative response even in the Japanese fans. It's like your worst fears of no one ever really caring about you because your trauma makes you too difficult to be around being realized.

And I decided to discuss that more in depth in this sort of follow-up post. Hopefully you all get a kick out of it.

[little-luna-llama]

When are we ever ready?

Custard (at least in my mind) is such a pitch perfect mix of pure vanilla and shadow milk, and a parallel to both of them.

It's analysis timeeee

Contains: my analysis of canon custard iii, a quick parallel between him and Dark Choco cookie, A quick analysis of what I think made shadow milk turn into a beast and why and finally the actual parallel between custard, Shadow and Vanilla. (Being ready to handle something)

Custard is a kind vanillian cookie kid with a persona that's basically his entire personality(being king). He speaks in a way that could be read as bratty, but comes off as performative and a little silly goofy.

He's trying to step into shoes that are wayyy to big for him right now that comes with decisions he's not ready to make or knowledge he's not ready to know. His fortune cookie says "Watch, listen, play! Your memories will shine brighter than a royal crown."

It's literally saying stop trying to grow up and enjoy the now. Because let's be real: growing up sucks when it actually happens. Custard is yet to realise that because he's a kid still looking at adulthood through rose coloured glasses like any kid would.

In a sense this also makes him a parallel to dark choco cookie, who from what we've seen had a very hopeful and positive outlook when he was younger, trying to do what is best for the kingdom but seeming to lack understanding in some of the details, which deepens the rift with his father and fuels his need to prove himself. Which as we know didn't end well...

Custard I don't think is in it to prove himself as a leader. If you've read the bluebell fics I've actually stated that I see the kingly persona as a sort of trauma response. He misses his dad and we don't know what happened to him, and most likely custard doesn't know either. Custard is very young, arguably the youngest of the cast behind snapdragon who's a literal baby, I say about 7/8 years old and loosing your parents at that age definitely doesn't help you develop healthy states of mind or coping mechanisms because there's no supervision.

Custard knows he's of noble vanillian lineage, he heard stories of pure vanilla, this beloved King who was loved by all that grandpa was close to, he was powerful and navigated life's struggles with such ease and gentleness. A kid hears that and thinks "wow he had a lot of friends because he was King! If I'm King then everyone will want to be my friend and I won't be lonely anymore! And I can make the rules!" It's a very young mindset. It also puts him above the others so if they leave him, he can get the last word in and they aren't leaving him, he's banished them. He's in charge, he doesn't want to be friends with them and they should feel sorry about it.

I don't think it's intentionally toxic or anything, it's just the mind of a kid rationalising something to protect themselves from the trauma they've experienced. It's really common for childhood trauma to manifest a coping mechanism like this; finding a source of inspiration and power to project onto, to call on for emotional support. In certain cases it with even go as far as to manifest as d.i.d, but that's not relevant to custard. This also happens in adults as well.

This links to Shadow milk however: shadow has one of the starkest transformations in theme from ancient to beast from what we've seen. Eternal hardly changed, mystic seems to have simply hidden themselves behind a veil, burning spice hardly changed, and it seems silent salt simply put on their helmet.

Shadow milk however was clearly a scholar/Wizard archetype. Fits with his virtue being knowledge, much like how eternal hardly changing fits with their sloth, burning spices silhouette getting bigger fits with the overwhelming power of destruction, mystic hiding themselves away behind their veil to appear unfeeling/apathetic and like a god to their followers (its a literal separation) and silent hiding their face entirely so not even their expressions could communicate their feelings.

So why is did shadow go from a prim and proper scholar to a jester? I think it's all to do with knowledge.

All the beasts had to experience some great trauma, that one moment that solidified their descent into darkness(I have theories for all of them.) Something that, to them, justifies their actions (or lack thereof). Shadow Milks power is that of knowledge, and knowledge doesn't discriminate between the good and evil. Shadow would most likely be hyper aware of everything, to the point of near omniscience before creating dark moon magic. He would see the world and his friends suffering and want to stop it all, and he finds a way:

Using mind magic and trickery. It starts innocent but it builds and builds and it becomes addictive, then it becomes second nature.

Innocently making someone forget the horrors they've experienced, or filling someone's mind with fake positive memories to turn them away from committing atrocities. Perhaps he does it to his friends: maybe he sees them falling and every time he fills their heads with sweet lies to buy them a few more months.

He's overloaded by taking on everyone's troubles while he was still coming to grips with his power, he has no one to turn to because of his spiderweb of lies. He's alone and he doesn't know how to cope. Just like custard

And just like custard he adopts a front: instead of feeling remorse or trying to reverse what he's done and accept that he made a mistake he just leans into it harder, forging a new identity to pick up the pieces and figure something out, unchained by the lies of his past because he is the director the playwright, the producer, he gets to make the decisions and nobody can question him.

(Obviously the first thing he would do would be to lift the lies from his friends and have them fall too.)

Vanilla also sort of does this with healer cookie, but he has amnesia at that point in the story. Healer cookie is more like the truest reflection of pure vanilla cookie, unburdened by the horrors of his life. I bet shadow milk watched healer cookie and seethed inside. For Custard though, I think it was something he had to see even if it hasn't paid off yet. He got to know pure vanilla completely outside of his idealised version without bias because he didn't know.

In the crumbs of content we do have both from in game and twitter we have seen Custards attitude change a little. He's mellowed out a little in the dark cacao episodes and by the time stories by the campfire rolls around he's much more an excited child who happens to like his prince costume and playing prince than a 7 year omd trying to actually be in a position of power with no help or guidance.

Since pure vanilla and shadow are supposed to be opposites I think custard is actually supposed to help convey what makes them the same and what makes them different. They share the acting performative parts of their character with shadow milk, but with vani we see custard genuinely trying to impress him because he wants to be like the vanilla he heard about in his bedtime stories. However custard currently runs the risk of stumbling into something that he's not ready for, which is something I think vani and shadow share. Vanilla wasn't ready to receive the light of truth and its responsibility, and shadow wasn't really ready to weild all of that knowledge alone.

This is also partly why I made the bluebell au. Shadow definitely smelt a kindred spirit but also "hey the kids connected to vani this will make good angst." And also In the fic I have custard adopting a few variations of his prince persona partly to make more people like him.

[peachymilkandcream]

My Husband, My Monster|Part 5|William Afton x Wife!Reader

(A/N: Just keep in mind for this chapter that the yandere themes are going to be a bit more intense now, if any of you have read my oneshots or even Break Me Slowly, you know a bit of the style of yandere I like to write. Please keep that in mind and reply to this post to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, power imbalanc, age difference, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere themes, yandere behaviours, domestic violence, misogyny, violence, baby trapping, William's a warning himself, etc.

============================================

Her apartment, flimsy and cramped as it was, was quickly moved out of. All her belongings sorted through and the items William deemed unnecessary were promptly discarded. Family heirlooms, childhood memories, things she had come to adore, all throw to the trash because he saw fit to do so. His word was an unbreakable law, and from the violence displayed in their bedroom, she had come to learn the path of least resistance was best. He hadn't hit her or shown any kind of abuse, but in the back of her mind she wasn't so sure that he wouldn't.

A honeymoon was a waste of time and money, their first week as newlyweds was spent in his small but cozy house attempting to deem what of hers would be permitted to fit in the chaos of his work. The extent of his workaholic nature in full force wherever she looked, it looked like he hadn't cleaned in a while, metal and wires scattered throughout various rooms so that if he was overwhelmed by one project he could go to a different room and work on another.

"Isn't this...cozy-" She attempted, all too conscious of the cold metal on her ring finger.

"I'm sure up to the task of cleaning it up, I don't have the time to worry about things like that."

"Oh, well-" She bites her lip to cope with the awkwardness, in reality she still didn't know this man very well. She had only slept with him a handful of times and worked under his leadership. "I guess I won't have to work at Fredbear's anymore-" She ventures with a nervous laugh, trying to break the ice.

"No, you will not. Your place will be here, in my home, seeing to it that everything is in place and taken care of. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, and of course." William places a hand lovingly on her stomach. "Having my children. I'm sure that won't be an issue."

"Children? I thought you didn't have time for kids, and that you wouldn't want more after this."

"Well you thought wrong now didn't you. It's your place to have children so why wouldn't I want you to have as many as I see fit?"

"I..I don't know if I want anymore-"

In an instant his hand sho out and slapped her across the cheek, leaving her to hold it, daze and full of shock.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

She frowns, not particularly caring for this kind of aggression. "Shouldn't I get a say as the one who carries the damn things?"

Anger rises in William, this little spark of defiance something he didn't like in the least. "Watch your tone or I'll give you some real discipline to cry about."

"Discipline? I'm not a child."

He suddenly grabs her arms. "Well you sure know how to act like a brat." He pulls her down onto the couch over his lap, she pushes to get up when he delivers a spank to her rear, making her gasp in surprise.

She tries to gain some kind of traction to pull herself off of his lap, but the fabric of his pants make her slip so she remains bent over in utter humiliation. His hand continues to come down on her rear, the sting turning into a dull ache as he continued. His punishment was thorough, lifting her skirt to admire the welts.

His assault continues until eventually his fingers penetrate her wet cunt, how her body had allowed itself to be turned on by this aggression was beyond her. However the change from violence to the feeling of being full was much welcome.

William's fingers pumped in and out of her at a steady pace, whether her walls tightened to push him out or to pull him in she didn't know. The slickness between her thighs was growing, which is all she could comprehend, that and the tightness growing in the pit of her stomach.

He felt it too, the way she clamped so hard on his digits made him smirk in approval, her rebellion wouldn't last long under his iron rule. Now he had the authority and the position where she couldn't leave or talk back, those ridiculous ideas and the waste of time she was spewing out would end right here and right now. This wasn't going to happen, not on his watch.

When she was on the verge of climaxing he withdrew completely from her, her tearful eyes finding his in disappointment and disbelief.

"Show me you regret bitching to me maybe I'll let you cum."

There was a pause, pride on the line and needing to be swallowed for the sake of something so carnal and wouldn't last forever, but damn did she need it.

She unbuckled his pants and peeled back the layers of clothing, quickly hopping on his dick and sliding him all the way home. Riding him had become second nature to her, he preferred to sit back and make someone else do the work, and she found a way for him to feel the deepest and for the ride to be the most pleasant.

While they didn't know much about each other personally, they knew about what William demanded and the tone he set in all things intimate. She rode him fast and hard, his thumb pressed firmly against her clit so she rubbed against it with each thrust of her hips.

She could never last long, the familiar feeling reaching throughout her whole body and then down to her toes as she went over the edge. Where she came he was never far behind, filling her and letting the cum spill out of her and onto his hips.

They were both sweating and breathing hard as they came down from their high. Her hands were firmly on his shoulders and she kissed his bearded cheek.

"It isn't so hard to obey now is it?"

==============================================

William kept her busy and fucked out of her mind most days. The house had slowly been turned into a home, the clutter and dirt slowly disappearing as she cleaned. She had barely time to unpack anything aside from basic clothes and toiletries, whenever she did have a chance to unpack things of memory and sentiment William always found a way to convince her they didn't need it, throwing it out. All of her tears shed over those precious things being purged from her life was attested to pregnancy hormones, and that she was being overdramatic.

And while the circumstances were anything but desirable, she had to admit she enjoyed being pregnant. There was a deep sense of nurturing and love that she felt whenever her stomach looked larger or she and William felt the baby kick. It could have been with someone else, a younger, much more loving husband, but William was enough for her. He had shown her kindness and love when no one else had, he would be a great man to raise her child. Everything would work out in the end, she was sure.

=============================================

Despite all of the books she'd read and all the advice she'd heard, nothing could have prepared her for the actual experience of bringing a life into the world. The pain was nothing like anyone described, the emotions, fears, and blood, all the blood.

William was at her side the whole time, never once leaving or stepping out. Although while she was expecting sympathy and comfort, he was level-headed and practical about the whole thing. Talking about it like it was just another medical procedure that he had read about and not the birth of his only child. But he was so busy, how could she expect him to be any different? She couldn't be selfish now.

It seemed like an eternity, that it would never end unless the thing coming out of her ripped her in half. But William told her it hadn't been as long as he'd been expecting, and that she pulled through well and hopefully would for their future children. Or as he said, his future children.

In her opinion, the person who went through the carrying of the thing for nine months plus the labour should reserve the right to name it but William informed her that wasn't the case. It wouldn't have been possible without him after all so he should have something to contribute. And that's how their son came to be, how he made his mark in his brand new world.

Little Micheal Afton, their pride and joy.

Tags:

=========

@fandomreader

@n3r0-1417

@2pacl0ve