#yet again by the systems/adults meant to protect him

[cologona]

See in my eyes the greatest tragedy of DITF is that events were leading up to Bruce and Jason finally resolving this simmering issue between them, where Jason thought being Robin was what gave him a place next to Bruce, and Bruce was treating his, Dick, and Jason’s trauma as identical.

The thing that busts my balls about Robin Lives is that it has the broad strokes of what the hypothetical timeline where Jason lives should have.

Bruce realizes his mistake in uncritically projecting his own trauma and coping mechanisms onto his sons, growing from hyperactively empathetic into genuinely compassionate. Jason gets security (emotional security, which given that superhero comics are a story of symbols means it’s the most important kind) from the reassurance that he is loved regardless of his title as Robin and gets to really choose if he wants to be a vigilante or civilian. He gets to grow up.

That Jason doesn’t survive in the main timeline is a tragedy because instead of that emotional resolution and eventual growth we just get a teenager’s corpse and a father regressing into the worst possible version of himself.

But Robin Lives isn’t interested in any of that. It knows but it doesn’t care, because a lot of that great juicy stuff is just relegated to stray panels and background exposition.

Despite the narration being from the POV of Jason’s own therapist there’s very little description of what Jason’s actually going through at all. He gets like a few panels on one page max to voice his thoughts and the rest is what? A bunch of vague drivel about how he’s so broken and traumatized. More frequently the therapist narrator is talking about how beautifully and nobly Bruce suffers. Gimme a break!

As far as Robin Lives is concerned the most interesting thing Jason can do is be a wretch. As far as it’s concerned Jason is nothing, he’s a prop, he’s a moral landmass over which the forces of the two real main characters of this story fight.

I can’t express how much contempt I have for this story, with that ending which is clearly trying to make a Deep Statement about ~the cycle of violence~. Except if it was really invested in the point it was trying to make it’d take more interest in Jason himself as the principal subject. It would give a shit about how valuable the opportunity to heal is.

It would not have Jason get help and grow into his own as an adult, only to inexplicably become evil because what- he killed Joker so that means the moral disease transferred to him? See how stupid it sounds when I say it out loud. According to Robin Lives there’s just no hope once you’ve been Broken. You are doomed to become your abuser.

And that shallow symmetry this story forces the characters into, with Dick and Jason becoming the new Batman and Joker rubs salt into the wound. A dichotomy between those who are Good (like Bruce and Dick who respond to trauma by becoming even more pure) and those who are Weak (like Jason and -apparently- Joker, who go into hysterics and subsequently catch the disease of Evil). How OOC the characters felt should’ve been a warning to the writer that something was off, but alas!!!!

I’ll stop here now because I’m getting too heated to be coherent, but yeah I Dislike This Comic.

[2af-afterdark]

Property

Content: Sitri & GN!MC, Angst, alcohol consumption

Word Count: 703

A/N: Again, not smut but the game is 18+ so it goes to the adult blog.

You were Solomon's child before you were a person. Whether you knew it or not, that had been the case from the moment you were born; both the first time from your mother's womb and second when you had to accept a different life to save your best friend. The moment you took your first breath, Hell unknowingly looked toward the human world in reverence and Heaven looked on in condemnation. Your existence was only a continuation of a dead man's.

Child of Solomon was the better name some called you by. At the very least, it acknowledged that you were a descendant of the man who owned your life. It was a tacit admission that you were a replacement meant to live up to a legend rather than the man himself.

The worse of the names given to you by the devils was-

"Solomon?" Sitri spoke through your alcohol-filled mind.

You turned your hazy attention toward him, feeling each and every one of your muscles throbbing in your head as you did. Even the ones in your fingers somehow pulsed in your brain louder than even the yelling and cheering of all the devils crowding the bar for their nightly – although it more often seemed to be hourly – celebration.

“Heeeeeeey Sitri,” you said with a voice that was loud enough to make your head throb. “What are you doing here?”

“We came together.”

“Oh, right.” Because Satan was busy and you needed an escort to wander around an active war zone. 

Sitri was reliable enough to have Satan's trust without too much fighting. At the very least, he was good at keeping you from being swarmed by every other devil in the bar all at once that wanted to catch a glimpse of Solomon. It was still awkward when they turned their heads each time he called for you though.

You held out your half finished drink to him with a lazy smile. “Want some?”

His cheeks flashed a deeper hue than the pink of his eyes. “You would offer some to me, Solomon?”

“Yeah. I would.”

You. Not Solomon. Maybe he would offer Sitri his drink when he was so smashed that he was seconds from passing out, but you wouldn't know. All you knew was that you were the one offering it right now and that you were too tired to try to correct Sitri on who you were. Again.

“You are as generous as ever.”

Because you would always be Solomon and never yourself. You were hunted because Heaven saw you as a long dead man. You were protected because Hell loved that men. You gave devils hope because you were his second coming. You and every action you took were an echo of him.

“Hey, Sitri?” you asked. “Do you like me?”

His pink eyes went wide for a brief moment before the softened. “Of course I like you, Solomon.”

And that was all you needed to hear to know that you weren’t even an afterthought in his mind. Him and most other devils that didn't even give you the dignity of being Solomon's descendant rather than his continuation.

“I like you too, Sitri.” And you wished you could say that without knowing that he and every other devil wouldn't give a damn about you if you hadn't happened to have been born the Child of Solomon. 

You laid your head against the cool, sticky bar table, too tired to move or lift it back up. "I want to go home," the honesty induced by the alcohol in your system said.

"Of course, Solomon. I'll help you." He set down the now empty glass that you hadn't seen him drink from and gingerly grabbed your arm to help sling it around his shoulder and lift you to walk. "We'll return to the palace soon."

"Mhm." You nodded without correcting him.

You didn't want to return to Gehenna's palace. You wanted to leave Hell altogether. You wanted to go back to the one place where you would always be yourself rather than some ideal of a man you had never met before.

You wanted to be somewhere you weren't simply the Child of Solomon. Or, worse yet, Solomon himself.

[lilac-gold]

An analysis of Hero's healing, his position as an older brother and his relationships with Aubrey and Kel

Hero's healing:

I love exploring all the links between Headspace and the real world, and today, another's been on my mind. Hero is a healer in HS, but he heals and attacks through his food & frying pan; his position in the team utilises his strengths and passions, those being medicine and cooking. And in one of the flashbacks in Memory Lane, Hero asks Sunny if he should be a doctor or a cook when he's an adult. He personally wants to be the latter- that's why cooking is embedded so heavily into each of his skills in HS- but his parents want him to be the former.

Hero's a healer because that's what's necessary, what's expected of him, what he's good at. He heals through his food because that's what he likes making, trying his best to turn his strong suit into something he loves. Mari wanted him to be a cook, but after she died, Hero couldn't face that career. Instead, he did what his parents wanted, going to medical school. He's smart, and does well at it, but it's not something that he enjoys quite as much as he does cooking.

In Headspace, there are no parents: not Sunny's, not Aubrey's, nor Basil's, and not Hero's (and Kel's). But there is Mari, the opposite of in the real world. And yet, Hero's talent for healing and career as a doctor is still embedded into his fighting skills, even without any influence from a parental figure in HS since he has no parent there to take advice from. There's only himself, the younger kids, and Mari.

I like to think that Hero's a healer in HS not only because of his parents wanting him to be a doctor, though, but rather as a result of his older brother figure in their friendship group. Having a biological little brother who he cared for deeply meant that Hero had experience with littler kids, and he's the sort of person to look out for them, taking on a slightly parental role in HS. Particularly to Aubrey and Kel, he's very much an older brother figure.

He settles their disputes. He has a messy love life they like to get involved in and tease him about. He comforts them when they're upset. He's in charge of where they go (e.g. SWH's Quest for Hearts). He offers advice to characters like Omori. He's responsible, he's polite, he's a role model to them. Nice to everyone and always willing to help out. He reprimands Aubrey when she gets a little too angry, and tells Kel off when he aggravates her.

Above all else, though, Hero looks after them. He heals them when they're injured, offering good food and protection from enemies and threats. Hero takes on a defensive position, always there to offer help, support and recovery.

So, he's a healer.

This most likely applied in the real world, too, when the kids got any minor injuries like scrapes or bruises. 'Dr Hero' was able to look after them, patching them up with colourful band-aids. And Sunny experienced that, and integrated it into his mind that Hero (and Mari) were he, Aubrey, Basil and Kel's protectors. They provide warmth, shelter, healing and food.

Hero & Aubrey:

That makes it hurt even more when you think about how alone Aubrey felt. Her parents split up, her mother turning to drink as she stayed in her tiny, barely-filled room in the attic. Her friends all left, she lost an older sister figure in Mari- and an older brother in Hero. She didn't see him again for a year, and when he finally went back to school, he devoted himself to his studies and that image of perfection Mari had strived for. He didn't have time for her anymore, and wasn't there to even see if she was okay.

Of course she'd be angry, and hurt, and upset, on both her and Hero's behalf. She's mad at Mari for leaving them like she did, for crumbling Aubrey's only support system in one day. She's mad at Hero, for abandoning her in his grief. She's even mad at herself, for not being able to help somehow.

So she finds new friends, and she becomes the leader, the protector. She looks over the Hooligans, sometimes telling them off, getting defensive over them, buying food with them at Gino's. But there's nobody to look after her, or to stop her from doing anything she wants because her mother doesn't care, or to make her food that's actually filling. She's alone.

Then Hero comes back, and he doesn't even recognise her. He leaves her behind at the lake, walking away with Kel and Sunny without even hearing her out. She's been abandoned again, she's messed up again, and she doesn't know how to fix it. There are too many emotions for her to process, and she's far too exhausted to go after them. So, she goes home, and resents Basil for ruining her memories, and Kel for reducing her to the image he's built of her inside of his head, and Sunny for only coming out now and hurting her, and Mari for killing herself. And she resents Hero for leaving her, for not being there, and for walking away from that lake without a second glance.

She's still so, so angry, but then he goes to visit her and she falls apart. He came to see if she's okay. He wants to listen to her. And he recognises the rift between she and Kel as 'your typical Kel and Aubrey fight'. And he fixes it, making them say sorry like they're still just kids. And Aubrey hasn't said sorry in so long, not since her mom doesn't care and she's a known delinquent and she's so angry. He reprimands her lightly, seeing just how upset she is, but he's acting like a parent, like a brother, like Hero.

And Aubrey's missed that. She's been alone for so long, and now she's not anymore. They put the photos back and she cries and she apologises, and Hero just accepts it. He acts like it's nothing, not blaming her like Kel and the people in the church did, acting like everything's the same as it was years ago.

Then, he asks to hug her, and that's... Well, that's a little too much. But they've made a start, and yeah, he's embarrassing, but he's still like a brother to her. And she's missed him.

So when he says that they should go check up on Basil, she agrees. Just like all the times in HS when Hero suggested they go somewhere, Aubrey agrees, and they all go off together, a group again.

In the good end, things start to get better. In the bad end, things get so much worse. In any version of the neutral end, things fall apart beyond any seeming repair. But through all of them, she sticks with the person she used to view as an older brother, who still treats her like his sister even after those four years of loneliness.

Hero & Kel:

Now, consider Kel's thoughts on the matter. Hero's always been his older brother, someone to look up to and ask for help from. But when Mari dies, it's Hero who falls apart. Kel doesn't know what to do, the source of comfort over the years for he and his friends having been left broken as a result of Mari's seeming suicide.

Hero blames himself, and Kel can't find a way to convince him not to. Hero doesn't speak to him, doesn't get out of bed, doesn't do anything for a year. Like with Aubrey, Kel didn't just lose Mari; he lost Hero as well. His older brother didn't act like a brother anymore, like Hero anymore, not in the slightest. And he wasn't there to help Kel, because Hero himself was in need of more help than anyone could provide him with.

Hero used to take pride in his appearance, knowing full well that he was considered handsome. Hero used to love baking and cooking, dedicating hours to the craft. Then, Mari died, and he stopped everything, not even taking care of himself, let alone Kel.

So Kel tries his best. He bottles up his feelings, acting like he's fine. He made new friends, tries to comfort Hero like Hero used to him, brings food to his brother's bed in the hope that Hero will eat more. Kel tries to be the responsible one, the stable one, the unfaltering pillar of support Hero had been for so many years.

But Hero doesn't respond to him. Kel and his parents try their best to be supportive and help, but Hero stays the same way. Hero had always been fine, charming his way out of problems and fixing anything that went wrong. And then he wasn't anymore.

And after a year, Kel had had enough, desperately trying to get through to him. He missed his brother, his best friend, and had reached his breaking point. His parents' focus was on Hero, his friends had all drifted apart, Mari was dead, Sunny never left his house- and Hero seemed to be gone forever too.

Mari wouldn't have wanted to see him like that, Kel knew, suicidal or not. He wished she would've talked to someone, confided in them- at least confided in Hero- but knew she still cared about them greatly, Hero and Sunny in particular.

But the mention of Mari meant that Hero had reached his breaking point, snapping in a way Kel had never seen before. Hero was supposed to be calm, stopping arguments when Kel got into them, always polite and considerate. A far cry from the Hero before him just then, furious and wild, yelling at him.

Insulting him. Some of what Hero said was really hurtful to Kel- especially since it was coming from Hero. His brother, the person whose own perfection made Kel feel a little forgotten, the person who Kel admired and looked up to more than anyone, said things that were meant to hurt.

Kel blocked it out later on, only remembering how much Hero cried. Hero used to be a source of comfort. Used to help him heal. Instead, Hero was hurting Kel and hurting himself and Kel didn't know what he did wrong.

He did everything possible to calm Hero down, the outburst unfamiliar. But Hero had been unresponsive for a year, bottling up every emotion regarding Mari's death, and Kel mentioning her completely smashed those bottles into smithereens.

And it scared him. Kel felt scared because Hero was collected and level-headed and smart and mature, someone to go to for advice who would always help him feel better, someone seen as 'perfect'. His brother. Then, Hero didn't seem like Hero the slightest bit anymore, and that was terrifying not only because of Hero's wholly unfamiliar rage being directed at him, but also because Kel felt like he was losing his brother more by the second.

Then, his parents rushed in and helped Hero, and Kel was still crying alone on the floor, then his brother hurried over to him and tried his best to help. Kel felt like a little kid again, but it was so, so nice to be hugged again. Hero was back to his senses, back to being a healer rather than hurting him, apologising profusely and that was more relieving than Kel could imagine.

After that, Hero's self-destruction slowed down. It never disappeared, not when he decided to become a doctor for their parents' sake, not when Hero stopped doing anything he loved to focus entirely on his studies, but at least Hero started taking care of himself again.

Hero became far more closed-off after that, Kel could still see his guilt. But he couldn't help out, terrified to repeat what happened last time and feeling awful for it. Hero worked incredibly hard but was still naturally good at everything, which Kel found himself envying a little even then. Hero excelled at everything... Expect for sport.

So Kel went to basketball practise. Kel did his best to do something, anything better than his brother for a bit of his parents' approval- and to be worthy of Hero's attention. Basketball players were tall, and Kel desperately wanted to be taller than Hero. Basketball required a lot of running, and Hero was far too unathletic for that. Basketball was a team sport, and Hero had been running solo for over a year by that point.

And still, Hero got so many more trophies than him without even trying. But Hero had no passion, and that was upsetting and frustrating to watch because Hero got the same achievements for doing things he used to love with a sort of mechanical detachment that was completely new to Kel.

But he's got his brother back. His healer, his protector, his brother. And Kel isn't going to anything to put that in jeapordy again.

[sageandred]

Am I the only one that truly recognizes Carter for a victim AND a villian (idk how else to word this 1st sentence but this isn't pro carter, or even anti). He keeps making choices and going down this bad path that he was undoubtedly groomed into at one point. Declan has proved to be worse/more powerful. My take is that it's only fair that Declan gets his comeuppance (haven't watched the new episode yet so idk); presumably he will though possibly after a long string of acting as the villian arc going by Hollyoaks' way of doing things. Carter was once a young boy that was taken advantage of that has years and years of a poor and incorrect belief system to guide him into his own kind of monster, but the thing is the show paints that idea for you. It's more subtle, but it does acknowledge how he was a victim, giving you information on his childhood/context clues (i dont need it spelled out). The parallels with Lucas are obvious and intentional. I do think his fate/ending was always what it's going to be. His relationship with John Paul was always purposeful to his character arc. It served as a useful tool to show a softer side and make you feel for his painfully closeted life. But he was always going down a deeper hole and dark path, because not only was he terrified and lying to himself (understandable), but he would go to the furthest lengths for his own benefit if he had to from the start. He used Maxine to send a message to JP inviting him to see them after sleeping together, he blindsided him more than once, tried CT on him, only went back with remorse when he wanted to hook up, and generally intentionally hurt people if it'd meant it'd protect himself. With JP, what started as a hopeful union between the two was tainted with Carter lying, setting out to trick him, and literally using him down to his weak, yet selfish desire of his lusting after JP following his mistreatment towards him time and time again. Like did Carter ever ever care about JP at all, or did he just have an understandable desire to explore his sexuality as a closeted, non-admitting man, so that's why he pursued anything? (also note the "relationship" started too quick and crashed /burned just as fast, which was the point whether they ever worked out or not)

It's entirely possible for adults to have gone through their own kind of trauma as a child that contributes to their experiences and behaviors and for that behavior to not automatically be demonized because of the long-lasting effects trauma can have, but that's a case-to-case judgement. Maybe Carter would turn out better had he had help and a good support system, long long ago, a juxtaposition to Lucas. But that's the thing, experience makes different outcomes and that's not what happened; once xyz happens the course of time is changed forever and sometimes you can't go back and people that go on to do awful things don't get an eternal permit of an explanation as to why they did the bad acts, meaning you should go easy on them; this happens often when 1 goes on to be the abuser or utilize their power dynamic. My thing is, it's okay for Carter to be recognized as a victim in his own right [please, please do (don't just take 1 part of this post & misunderstand)], but that doesn't have to be mutually exclusive to his villian status that has been well on it's way since the beginning; it is possible for a character to be recognized as a victim without the promise of a redemption arc.

[softlyapocalytpic]

Deacon

My interpretation of Deacon is very much in the camp of, “every good lie has a seed of truth”. Got no idea if that what makes a good lie, but I think it’s a fun story telling device so idc. I never want to take away from him being a liar because it feels like it’d be a disservice to his character, but from his dialogue it feels like there’s always that grain of truth. Rather than just flat out lies, he twists the truth. The only time it ever feels flat out is when you’re supposed to doubt him, (like that he’s been to Greenland or played cards with Mr. House). It’s wacky, outlandish, and he plays it straight because that’s apart of the joke.

Because at his heart he’s a goofball! I think that Deacon shows more of who he truly is than he realizes by the mere fact that he doesn’t really know who that is anymore. If you spend sometime time as the lie, when does it become the truth?

He’s so edgy in own head, but I think that his true colors show from his actions which are usually spent either a) protecting the people he loves, or b) keeping their spirits high. He may be cynical, but he doesn’t want to be. He admires optimism and hope and surrounds himself in it, and I think some of it rubs off on him when he isn’t looking.

How can he not? The way that I can hear his voice SPARKLE after you blow up the Institute… Like the whole world has just taken on a new brighter shade. But also the way that he fights, and he fights, and he fights even in the darkest hours of the Railroad. At times I think he feels beaten down and broken, like he couldn’t get up again, but then he looks at these beacons of hope like Dez, Glory, and everyone else and he can’t help it! While he definitely has the “man loses last bit hope he didn’t know he had” moment, he doesn’t stay in the darkness. He’s magnetized to the light. Something something a lantern in the dark hehe.

Piper

I’ve fallen in love a little bit with almost all of the Fallout 4 companions, and Piper is the latest 💞. I made a conscious effort to spend more time with her on my survival play through and she’s just so charming. Bethesda knew what they were doing and they got my pansexual ass hook, line, and sinker. She’s sweet, and awkward, and passionate, and quirky, and goofy, and driven. What’s there not love?

I think my Piper is definitely a reflection of what I’m feeling like in my early twenties, except a more fantasized “country girl in the big apple vibes” version. Life is an adventure, and oh fuck being an adult with responsibility is difficult. I care so much about my community yet feel so isolated for one reason or the other. She’s fighting for justice but doesn’t have it all together yet. She trips, stumbles, and is learning.

I think the biggest roadblock for loving her character had been the contradiction of being ostensibly pro-synth but also lambasting McDonough for being a synth publicly. However, when I took a look at that as a character arc I really began to appreciate her!

Piper’s point was never to promote synth hate, and I’m so compelled by her grappling and dealing with the fact that she did. That her constant strive to deliver the unabashed truth, along with her (rightful) disdain of McDonough as a person meant that she helped the paranoia. That she made synths the bad guys rather than the Institute at large. Her seeing the toll of a full out war with propaganda from all sides, and developing another layer to her belief system. An awareness of her words and how they effect people.

Cait

I know that for some character arcs it’s about learning to be okay in your own body, on your own, but it’s SO important to me that Cait ends her story with someone absolutely smitten for her. It doesn’t matter the gender (although I’m personally partial to a girlfriend for her), she needs someone to hold her. To be patient with her. To call her out on her shit when she’s being dumb, and stand by her through the roughest parts of her journey. I want her to feel warm, and safe, and held and to be surrounded by people who love and appreciate her.

Also want her to have a complicated relationship with drugs that isn’t easy, but that she feels like she has agency and choice over. That she doesn’t need to feel ashamed for her drug use! That sure she’s got baggage but she’s so worth carrying it. I want Cait to live an easy breezy life where she’s surrounded by laughter.

(Man I guess this was less meta and more me wanting to give Cait nice things lmao).

In such a bad mood after reading something that I won’t say more about because I don’t care for engaging in internet discourse! So instead I wanna post something positive! These are just some thoughts on a couple of the companions. Definitely not the full breadth of my thoughts, but I’m kinda just not in the mood to be critical right now. Just need something good to cheer me up. Hope it can do the same for you!

My interpretations generally tend towards the sweeter more optimistic end, and I’m aware of that. But I stand by them none-the-less. I want the wasteland to become a softer place, not a harder one, and I think that while characters start out in dark places they can be lifted out of that. Fallout already spends so much time really showing off the depths of the horrors of humanity and I think that it needs to foster hope. Hope and growth give meaning to the struggle. The violence may be pointless but then we can choose to be different. Idk y’all it’s nearly two in the morning and I just want some feel goods after being absolutely STEAMED.

If you wanna join in on the fun and add your own thoughts I’d love to hear them. About these guys or any others. I just picked a random three myself. It can be angsty! I just ask to keep things respectful and compassionate in how you talk about it.

[leahrocky]

Draco Malfoy and the Death Eater’s Daughter

T+ | Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter | 70k | part 1 of series | complete | ao3

Chapter 10: flying lessons

“

On one particularly cold Saturday, a few weeks later in October, Malfoy sat, biting into a green apple, his History of Magic homework abandoned behind him. They had laid out an old scratchy blanket they had found in one of the many ornate cabinets in the Slytherin common room, and were lounging on it, their lunches beside them.

“How do muggles get by without brooms, then?” he asked, sweat still cresting across his pale forehead. “What have they got for travel?”

“I dunno,” Eleanor responded, laying back and enjoying the last bits of the year’s sun on her face. “Cars, I guess. Some cities have buses, and there’s the underground, of course.”

“Under what ground?” asked Draco.

Eleanor giggled, despite herself. “No… it’s called the underground. It’s like a train in London.”

“Like King’s Cross, you mean?”

“Well, no… I mean. Yes, London has King’s Cross with regular trains, but it has another train system underground. It’s literally underground of London.”

“A train underground? A train like the Hogwarts Express?”

“Um, sort of.”

“You’re joking. That’s horrifying! How does it not collapse?”

Eleanor paused and sat up. “How would I know? Someone built it one day and it didn't collapse, and it hasn’t collapsed since. That’s how they know it doesn’t collapse.”

“Have you been on it?”

“Of course.”

Draco scoffed. “You’re saying that you don’t know how it works or why it doesn’t collapse and yet you still get on it?”

“What am I meant to do? Walk everywhere? Besides, it’s been around for ages and it hasn’t collapsed. Nearly everyone in London rides it, so…” Eleanor reached across into the bag containing the sandwiches that Draco had brought, and picked off the slices of ham before biting in.

“Well do they all know, then, how the train works? Everyone else in London? Maybe you just don’t know since you’re stupid…” Draco giggled.

Eleanor shoved him, laughing. “No, I don’t think most muggles understand it any better than I do. I mean, some do, obviously, my dad for one. And I think most adults have some basic concept of it all. I mean… I do reckon that it has something to do with electricity, at least. I know that much.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, Dad’s always warning me when we take it together not to get too close to the tracks, or I could get electrocuted. Mostly I think he just likes messing with me and trying to scare me or something. But, he is right, at least, that you could be electrocuted.”

“What’s electrocuted?”

Eleanor paused, bewildered again by the reminder that there was a whole world of knowledge even pureblood prats like Malfoy’s didn’t know due to their reliance on magic and the wizarding world. And yet Draco was the one always calling her stupid.

Eleanor said, “Now, I really don’t know how to explain that one.”

Draco huffed.

“Alright… here. You know in summer how there’s thunderstorms sometimes?”

“Obviously. I’m not dim.”

“ Right . And you know how there’s lightning, and all that? And how it’s bad to get struck by it?”

“Well, there’s a really basic charm for it, so it’s not like-”

“Muggles don’t have charms.”

Draco paused. “Right.”

“So being electrocuted is the same as being struck by lightning, but… like less. But also still bad. It can certainly kill you, I mean.”

Draco’s eyes went wide. “So, you’re telling me that muggles travel around in a train like the Hogwarts Express only underground that none of them understand except that it has to do with lightning, from which they can’t protect themselves, and if you touch it wrong, it will kill you?”

“I think I’ve explained poorly.”

“

Read more here!

[pinkrangersarah]

Okay so about your Max post I’m also a kid who was neglected a lot myself and I’ve always headcanoned Max was neglected. He’s not necessarily shattered by like, physical abuse, but rather he’s strained and seems to have given up on his parents slowly over a long period of time like a victim of neglect. CPS tends to look at abuse more than neglect and don’t step into a sad amount of neglect cases just because a kid may not have bruises or whatever, and that could very well contribute to how Max feels about authority. His parents were foolish to think they could handle him and see his entire existence as a mistake on their part, so he has zero respect for his parents since they didn’t do their job, yet the governmental systems meant to protect him also didn’t do it’s job. Why would David be any better?

Hello there! I'm sorry to hear about the neglect you faced, and I hope that you are in a much better, healthier environment now and are doing well.

I agree with your sentiments, especially your input on Max's view on adults and authority figures! You're also on point about CPS. They're unfortunately very picky about what they consider "abuse"; my roommate is even currently in that situation with them, having called CPS on his ex-girlfriend several times because of her neglecting their son (on top of other things) but CPS not actually stepping in due to their being no physical signs of abuse (i.e. bruises, malnutrition). It is a very broken system, and I can see that being a big part of why Max is so cynical towards many adults and authority figures.

As for David, it's been a long-term headcanon of mine that Max finds it incredibly difficult to accept that not everyone (namely adults) is a piece of shit, but I guess that could be considered canon with "I refuse to believe someone as happy as you could possibly exist". At 10 years old Max is already pessimistic and cynical enough to believe that David A) will prove him right and he's not the person he pretends to be and B) ultimately let him down, like every other adult in his life has.

A small part of me is kind of disappointed that the subject of Max's parents are never brought up again after Parent's Day. I suppose they don't really need to be, but it would be interesting to see how his home life has affected him in other ways, if it has at all. Maybe Mr. Honeynuts could get a backstory. The bear is most definitely a comfort object and it would be neat to see how Max came to receive it (although I do have headcanons about that, too, lolol).

[cloudbattrolls]

Wasn't It A Lovely Night

Guardian Artifice | 463.5 sweeps prior | Civitrecce

The artifice jumped down into the maintenance tunnel, then walked as quickly as it could without breaking into a run. It still wasn’t quite used to its second body yet, the lack of a heavy tail both freeing and disorienting.

It looked left and right. No trolls, it thought. It couldn’t hear any. Torvah promised that one night it would have all sorts of sensors and detection.

Torvah promised a lot of things.

It walked along and found its current favorite hiding place in a treatment room, quiet and cool and above all, away from prying eyes. It closed the door behind it.

Trolls were…fine. But they were a lot. They were so curious. They were so…expectant.

Each of them wanted different things. Felt different things. Acted on those feelings and wants differently, or not at all, or in a sideways sort of way where they didn’t want to say what they really meant.

It sat down on a chair, hands clenched by its sides.

It didn’t need to breathe. Its ‘lungs’ were mostly for speaking. Its cells were all tiny pieces of machinery, interlocking chains in a grand design fueled by sunlight and psiionic power. 

But it needed some way to steady itself, and it didn’t want to break the chair, so it still drew in shaky breaths.

It would go back out. It had to try again. It couldn’t protect people without understanding them properly…

But they wanted to understand it too, and that’s where the trouble started.

Are you a troll?

Do you want to be a troll?

Are you like, a child, because you’re so young, or more like an adult?

How much of you is programming? Are you really alive?

Just let it do its job! Agh! What did they need all this information for? It was supposed to the one collecting information! 

Unfortunately, it had to learn to bear it.

They need to be able to trust their security system, Arty, Torvah had said gently. You can’t just observe from a distance and hope to do your best that way. 

If you don’t understand what truly drives trolls, you won’t be able to respect them and shield them from the dangers of the world.

“Do you understand trolls?” It muttered. 

Torvah was smart, but it’d come to realize that sometimes the yellowblood didn’t have much common sense. 

They meant well. Torvah had enough good intent to make almost everyone smile at them, enough willingness to see things through that their city was well underway after a few short sweeps. This maintenance tunnel hasn’t existed six perigees ago. 

This room had been finished four perigees and two weeks prior. Arty traced idle patterns on the very new metal floor with the tip of its sandal.

Maybe it should establish some sort of queue for questions or something. That would be less overwhelming.

It refused to ask Torvah for help. It needed to handle this itself.

“Arty?” Came a voice from outside the closed door.

“Leeson.” It groaned.

“So you are in there.” Said an amused, Eirish-accented voice they knew very well.

“No, this is a recording. I actually jumped into the sea.” It said, sarcastic.

“That’s too bad. And here I had a new stuffed animal for you.”

It sat bolt upright, attentive.

“I can basically feel the eagerness.” He said, still amused. “Can I come in?”

“It’s not even locked.” They muttered, as the door gently swung inward and the skinny blueblood walked in. “Torvah doesn’t like it when I lock things.”

He winced in sympathy.

“Well…the last time you did…”

It looked away. Ghosts of broken objects and past screaming stretched between them.

“Anyway.” He said, trying to lighten the mood as it looked somewhat towards him, though its green-slitted black eyes still flicked off toward the side. “Here.”

He took out a small stuffed fish. It wasn’t even all that well made, not like the Guinea pig one Torvah had given it, a keepsake from the region its creator come from.

Arty snatched it from his hands so quickly a breeze wafted over the pair, cradling it gently in its metallic, segmented fingers.

“One of these nights you’re going to take my wrist with you.” The kookaburra troll said, shaking his head.

The artifice ignored him, examining the plush from every angle, to the uneven button eyes, the gaping, slack-jawed mouth with clumsily sewn felt teeth, and the slightly droopy fins.

“It’s perfect.” It breathed. “Thank you.” It remembered to add, before tucking it away in its own sylladex.

He smiled, his pointy ears flicking.

“Well…I can say I didn’t see you for another hour or so, but then we really do need you up there.” The blueblood said, a bit sheepish. “Torvah assigned you to one of the construction crews; everyone will be too busy pushing and lifting to ask you much.”

“Fine.” It said dismissively.

It was, actually, but it wished the yellowblood had asked. What if it had wanted to do some other sort of work?

No, it was only supposed to make choices when it was convenient for the Machinat.

It looked at Leeson.

“What if I ever wanted to leave?”

He blinked, his two-colored blue eyes surprised behind his glasses.

“I…why would you want to leave, Arty? Where would you go?”

It paused.

“I don’t know. But what if I ever wanted to? Has Torvah thought about that? Do they even care?”

He sighed and scratched his freckled neck, looking awkward.

“They do care, Arty, they’re just…busy. It would be dangerous for most of us to leave anyway. You’re one of the few people who could. Well. If you had a way to somehow trick the empire into thinking you were a troll.”

“Am I really that different from you?” They demanded. “I mean! I am. But in some ways, I’m not. If people didn’t know what I was already…”

It looked at the ceiling, ears flicking as it sighed happily at the thought.

“If no one knew who I was, I could blend in…trolls aren’t so hard to mimic. It’s a question of pretending to not know a lot of things.” They murmured. “Of following all these unwritten and unsaid rules. I could learn to do it perfectly, just give me a little time.”

Leeson looked uncomfortable.

Arty frowned in annoyance, but then it sighed, raising its hands in surrender. 

“Okay, okay, how high was that on the scale?”

“Maybe a 7.” Said Leeson with the barest hint of humor.

“It was more like a 6.” They argued. “It wasn’t that creepy!”

“Arty.” He said, fondly but with a bit of weariness. “You look like us, but you aren’t one of us. Trolls are hardwired to fear anything too close to us that’s still very different on the inside.”

“I know.” It muttered.

Leeson had been nervous around it at first; he has always been honest about that. He had, slowly, come to understand the artifice despite his wariness. 

Better than Torvah understood it, Arty thought, though it would never say it out loud. Such words would crush its creator’s heart.

He stretched out a slender hand to the system.

Arty sighed, but took it.

“Let’s go see Process first.” Leeson said, trying to be cheerful as they walked back out into the tunnel.

“What does Pro want?” Arty said with a snort.

“Nothing, I just thought it would be nice if we visited.”

“Pro doesn’t care if we visit.” Retorted the artifice. “Pro’s even busier than Torvah.”

“Arty…” said Leeson chidingly.

“Fiiiiine.”

It dutifully followed without further complaint as the two climbed a ladder back up to the surface, instead taking this time to enjoy being back within signal range of its extensions.

Now it could see the city properly again, from multiple perspectives and angles. The moons shown down, half full and crescent, and unlike the cool dryness of the tunnels a warm wind blew through the Santai Claria valley and the fledgling settlement quickly rising up within it.

As it walked with its friend, it flew one of its bugs around to bother Process, darting around its helms as they repaired clothing and dodging their attempts to swat it.

Unfortunately, its primary body’s mouth giggled involuntarily. 

A few passing trolls on the street looked at it, but they looked away and went about their business.

Leeson raised his eyebrows.

It attempted to look innocent.

“What did you do.”

“I’m not discussing anything without my lawyer.” It said placidly.

He snorted. “You stole that from Yathin.”

“I will only consent to be prosecuted for theft in court.” It replied, chipper.

“We need a better legal system than the one we have right now, that’s for sure.” Muttered the bird troll, running a hand through his messy shoulder-length curls.

Arty hummed in agreement. Civitrecce’s current one was…well, it’d admit it wasn’t Torvah’s fault. They only had so many hours in the night, and sometimes the day, sweating in their workshop or in extended meetings with the city council until Leeson made them go to bed.

So the system wasn’t great, nor was it finished aside from bare-bones provisions for basic crimes and registrations. The city trolls were still deep in debates about how to write better laws than the empire had, and everyone had a different opinion on what exactly ‘better’ meant.

I KNOW IT’S YOU, GUARDIAN.

“Tell it to the dirt!” Arty called back to the AI’s monotone voice now coming from a nearby speaker on a railing. 

I SUPPOSE THE DIRT MIGHT BE A BETTER LISTENER.

“Silly Pro, dirt doesn’t have ears.” Arty shot back breezily. “I think you’re getting old.”

YOU AGE ME PREMATURELY. I SOMETIMES FIND IT DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE YOU WERE FASHIONED FROM MY CODE.

“Is it because I’m so much cuter?” Arty said, putting a hand to its chin.

WHO EXACTLY HAS EVER PUT FORTH THIS OPINION?

“I just know.” The artifice retorted, as they glared at Leeson for poorly containing his kookaburra-like laughter.

SOURCE: IT CAME TO ME IN A DREAM.

“Shuuut uuup.” Sang the system back at the AI, as it and Leeson finally came to the Spine it inhabited.

It was still very basic, the short tower that resembled the skeletal structure it was named for, and the helms who could easily slip in and out of its wires once they’d filled their shifts powering the AI. 

Torvah kept wanting to improve it, but Process insisted they focus on the city first, the needs of the trolls in it. They’d agreed, expression tight with remorse and restraint, but Arty knew they wished they had more time to help their friend. 

There was only one other helmstechnician in the place. While she was good, no one could match the Machinat, who could manipulate flesh and tech at will. It frustrated the yellowblood, their inability to share the immense benefits of their psiionics with others. 

Arty was the closest they had gotten. 

Process’s code. Torvah’s own modified flesh, a replacement for the altered corpse the artifice had first inhabited. Other constructed materials Leeson and some craftstrolls had helped with.

The AI’s flickering projection appeared, the quality still often marred by static, but at least their face and flat expression were clear enough to be made out.

WHAT DO YOU WISH OF ME, LEESON?

He shook his head, smiling. “Nothing. I’m just here to say hi, Process.”

YOU HAVE SAID IT. I HAVE MUCH TO ATTEND TO, AND THE GUARDIAN IS NOT HELPING.

Arty sighed and stopped its bugs from spelling ‘boring’ in the air around Process’s helms. The assembled trolls shook their heads and went back to their work. Process's expression became unfocused again, a sign it was devoting its computing power to doing analysis or other work to run the city.

Leeson reached out to squeeze Arty’s hand and it hmphed.

“Let’s just chat.” He said gently. “You deserve a break.”

I DO NOT NEED BREAKS.

“No, but isn’t there anything you want to do for yourself?”

I WOULD LIKE TO WORK.

He sighed dramatically. 

“Oh, and devoting some focus to hearing about my building plans is too much? I see how it is.” Lesson said faux-innocently, whistling as he put his hands in his pockets.

Arty snickered.

Process’s expression came back into focus and changed marginally. 

I SUPPOSE I CAN SPARE TWENTY MINUTES.

“Right-o.” Said the blueblood cheerfully, pulling out a blanket and a picnic basket from his sylladex.

Arty half threw itself on said blanket, landing with a thud and lifting the basket lid with two slim fingers even though it didn’t need to eat.

“Fried crickets again? You’re practically half made of those.” It said to Leeson, shaking its head.

He shrugged and took the bag of bugs out, opening it and popping a few into his mouth. “They’re good.” He said between loud, crunchy bites.

“Imagine having a digestive system. Couldn’t be me.” Arty chirped as it took its new stuffed fish out again and propped it up against the basket.

NOR ME.

“I guess I have to represent my species.” Said the blueblood with a chuckle, unscrewing the lid of his water bottle.

IF I HAD TO CHOOSE SOMEONE TO REPRESENT TROLLKIND, LEESON, I THINK YOU WOULD BE POTENTIALLY BE A GOOD OPTION.

He blinked. “Really? I thought you’d say Torvah.”

THE MACHINAT MIGHT NOT BE PERCEIVED AS ENTIRELY TROLL. 

He sighed. “My dear heart is…mostly troll.”

THE LINE IS THIN, FOR ONE WHO CAN BECOME COMPLETELY TECH AT WILL. REGARDLESS, YOU ARE ALSO A GOOD CANDIDATE ON YOUR OWN MERITS.

The kookaburra troll flushed slightly blue and adjusted his glasses. “Well. Thank you.”

YOU’RE WELCOME. NOW ABOUT THOSE BUILDING PLANS -

Arty listened, all its eyes only for its friends, all its ears tuned to the conversation between AI and troll, happy simply to be there under the stars.

[cartooncadet666]

Shifted AU: Cyborg Specter Quotes

In the Shifted AU, Specter was attacked by a demon species named Vox, it decayed most of his body so his ghost wouldn't properly form, that's what made Dr. Silvers (Dr. Buttocks) rebuild him as a ghost-like robot, who has his own intelligence, attitude, intentions, and memories. Yet of course, he lacks emotion, Sir Cumference is working on that. So here are some of Specter's quotes from this AU! Note that if you try to imagine his voice, it's just his regular voice, just more coded/robotic.

"My identification is Shadon Silvers, I apologize for the sudden inconvenience of not pleasing your needs Pac Man."

"[...] The sudden change caused me to adapt to more of my robotic abilities that were granted by Dr. Silvers and Sir Cumference."

"I am Shadon Silvers, a vast weapon that belongs to the Resistance and The Freedom Fighters as my intentions is to protect those of Pac-World and serve justice for the souls of the Nether Realm, my coding allows me to defeat whomever is in my path of achieving my goals and plans to protect our world as a whole."

"Negative. I can't access the Round House, their technological security has been damaged."

"I am defective and stupid, according to your variant my lord."

"Spiral as just a side character to your story? If I was programmed with the ability to show emotion, I would be dying of laughter."

"I am lucky I am just a robotic creation, I fear what would happen if I was able to show disgust to this man."

"Master Spiral, your father wants to see you in his office."

"As you wish my lord."

"Yes my lord."

"It is clear my lord."

"I'm afraid it's not my lord."

"I do not have the code for your request my lord."

"*glitching noises*"

"I suppose I will be your guide. Come along then Commander Betrayus."

"Death comes upon everyone, even the best people on our planet, but we shall not let it speak to those we love, that is why we pray."

"This will be the last time you see the light of day again."

"I have no interest in romantic desires, how in Pac-World does it even work? Is it a battle to the death?"

"I suppose I'm not very good with these things. "

"Children are very strange. That is why I stay with the adults here."

"Master Spiral, your father said to not interfere with your alternate being. It's a rule he made just now I'm afraid."

"Good morning Doctor, I am having trouble with my system."

"I appreciate your current effort Mr. Borealis, but matters like these require professionals. Learn from the teachers."

"The Cylindria of the Ghost-v-Pac timeline told me that you seemed less evil than Commander Betrayus. What do you think she meant by that my lord?"

"Master Spiral please do not encourage this behavior."

"Master Spiral! Manners!"

"Master Spiral I cannot do that, you are injured, I was told by your father to not leave the room until you are healed."

"Master Spiral, listen to me, you are a piece of sh*t and I will not tolerate these foul manners."

"Yes Doctor."

"As you please Doctor."

"Shadon Silvers. Cease talking."

"My lord your son is just as stubborn as you. I am not saying it is a bad thing, I am simply saying he needs to be more educated."

"Master Spiral is 'hitting on our Pac' apparently to their Cylindria."

"I can only deal with one of you for so long, but two? Kill me now why don't you."

"That is simply my display of affection my lord."

"The chip does not seem to be working, perhaps my system is refusing the sudden upgrade."

"I don't swear, don't pressure me into it Commander Betrayus."

"You are very attractive both ways, good and evil, however I wouldn't take someone who belongs to my variant, it is clear, I just so happen to know that for a fact."

"Yes Doctor?"

"I'm sorry Doctor."

"Doctor my non-existent braincells are dying, what does that mean? Teenagers and their language nowadays is confusing."

"Watch and learn like a student, not a critic."

"I am gay, yay.... Is that a good thing?"

"Is having romantic attraction to someone a disease?"

"I forbid you to leave."

"Farewell Pac Man. Make it home safe."

"I hate being a robot, that is true, but I hate the fact this was my second and only chance to live again even more."

"You are better than my Spiral for sure, you don't have to worry about it, you haven't lost anything young Spiral."

"Now that they're gone.. Doctor Silvers? What does gay mean? Is it a mental illness?"

"My lord, Ghost-v-Pac Spiral requested me to ask you if you can smack my ass like a drum."

"Don't call me Shadon anymore, my name is Specter. Specter the gay lightning ghost, apparently."

"Ah children, joyful demon spawns from hell coming in an adult life."

[petitemouse]

Another fantastic chapter (was there any doubt) which had me giggling and wondering just where I can find a Logan of my own because boy did he make me melt in this chapter!

It's official: I love Jamie. You always make such vivid OCs and Jamie is no exception. He is not cliche, boring nor does he feel forced into the story. He has his own goals and personality and, with only a few appearances, one can tell that he is one of those "ride or die" friends. He is protective and soft around Sunshine without being patronising. He treats Sunshine like an adult. He doesn't shame her about wanting a sex life even though she is a mother (I've single mum friends who have been shamed by their colleagues for still wanting to date). He just lets her know that she can do better and warns her of the bright red flags around Logan, because let's face it on the surface Logan seems to be a walking-talking red flag. An appealing red flag but a red flag nontheless.

“You have a crush on Dracula: Lumberjack Edition?”

“He doesn’t give off vampire vibes!”

“No, he gives off werewolf vibes,” he said. “And just in case a certain popular franchise has escaped your notice, they’re both equally bad.”

Okay but Jamie calling Logan 'Twilight' whenever he sees or talks about him.

Ah so it was Nik who organised the blind date for Sunshine. Can totally see Jamie going home and begging Nik to find another date for Sunshine with someone who is not a "giant ball of macho bullshit with no brains."

Seriously though Jamie would have been there when all the shit went down with Theo's dad right? And if Theo's dad is older than Sunshine or if there was a significant power balance in their relationship, it isn't a surprise that Jamie wants Sunshine to be with someone who is the same age as her. He knows that things are different now, that she has more self-worth and a support system around her, but he doesn't want her to fall into the same toxic/abusive situation she was in with Theo's dad.

Sunshine was so young when she fell pregnant that Jamie must also want her to start experiencing the young adulthood that she missed out on. One couldn't really call it a sacrifice because they all adore Theo and he is nothing but a blessing, but Sunshine did give up a lot to have him. She abandoned her education, aspirations and even little things like partying or going out with her friends because she had responsibilities at home. If she was to start seriously dating Logan and with him being so much older than her, Jamie might worry that Logan would try and tie her down perhaps even "baby trap" her.

[I know it's way way into the future, but when Sunshine does fall pregnant with Logan's child Jamie would 100% be terrified the entire 9 months. He knows how difficult Theo's birth was and it haunts him that something similiar could happen again. Thank goodness for Nik to keep him sane.]

I've probably read way too much into this, but as I said I really like Jamie and his relationship with Sunshine and Theo. It says a lot that he maintained a relationship with them after all these years. I can't wait to see more of him...and of Nik too who, I imagine, is the more logical of the two.

Now back to my darling Sunshine and her Logan.

"Somehow, something in your body knew Logan being there meant you were completely safe."

Okay dead died dead. This sentence killed me, Dee. They haven't even been on a date yet she already trusts Logan.

The fact that Logan can differentiate Sunshine's heartbeat from others and that he knew by the change in it that something wasn't right is wonderful. Is Logan surprised about how quickly he is falling for Sunshine?

“What’s the knife for?”

“I was coming to save you,” you told Logan, making the corners of his mouth twitch."

I'm so pleased that Sunshine isn't a damsel in distress. Don't get me wrong I love it when Logan protects her - the scene in this chapter of him protecting her from those creeps was enough to make me squeal - but I love the fact that there is no hesitation from her in protecting him. She doesn't care that he is basically invincible. He still feels pain (I'm thinking back to the first film when Rogue asks Logan if his claws hurt and he says "everytime"); and Sunshine doesn't want to see him hurt especially not because of her. I can just imagine Sunshine signing up to self-defence classes once they start dating, because she doesn't want him to hurt himself in protecting her. She wants to be able to protect herself for numerous reasons, but also to try and stop Logan from worrying about her so much (an impossibility though as Logan would do anything to protect her and Theo). Even when they are married and she is the only non-mutant in the house with Logan, Theo and their daughter all having superpowers, I can still see Sunshine throwing herself into the "line of fire" to protect them. She doesn't stop to think that all three of them are stronger than her; her reflex is just to protect her family.

“But you’re scared.”

“Not of you,” you said, shaking your head again as you bit at your nail. “For you.”

Surely Logan was replaying these words in his head when he left Sunshine. For her to voice her concern for him and the relief she felt when she saw him, surely Logan suspects that his feelings are reciprocated.

“But nobody gets to hurt you or threaten you. That’s the principle here.”

No wonder Sunshine was about to invite him up to her apartment when he said that. I'm surprise she didn't grab him and kiss him then and there. But damnit Jamie and Nik, you just had to cockblock them! Although we did have this:

"You hesitated only for a moment before you stood on your tiptoes, wrapping your arms around his neck to hug him, resting your forehead against his hard chest, the scent of pines and smoke surrounding you in the most pleasant way. He cradled the back of your head with one hand while his other arm sneaked around your waist and he nuzzled his nose into your hair to inhale deeply, making your heartbeat faster. Even though you felt like you could happily spend your whole life in his arms, you knew you had to step back...so you slowly pulled back to look up at him. His hazel gaze went down to your lips for a moment before snapping back to your eyes and you swallowed thickly."

You were a born writer Dee, seriously. Your writing is simply beautiful.

With each story you have written there is a different compelling dynamic between the Reader and her love interest and although the Reader's personality differs in each story we, the audience, recognise and feel connected to her.

Also just to let you know I swoon whenever Logan calls Sunshine 'princess'.

Sunshine [5] - Dusk

AN: My loves, thank you so so much for your wonderful support and lovely comments and HCs! ❤️ You’re amazing! ❤️

I hope you like this as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! 🥰

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader

Summary: Some evenings come with threats.

Word Count: 4242 

CW: Violence, explicit language, blood, threats

Series Masterlist

“I have no idea why you don’t like him.”

“Well, that makes two of us because I have no idea why you like him.”

You rolled your eyes at Jamie as you grabbed the coffee pot, then filled his cup while he pointed at you with his fork. The diner wasn’t very busy yet; you had the time to focus your full attention on him after taking a couple of orders to the tables, so you leaned on the counter, then stole a fry off his plate.

“Logan is nice.”

“Oh Logan is nice?” he repeated with a scoff. “He’s a giant ball of macho bullshit with no brains, that’s what he is.”

Your jaw dropped. “Oh come on Jamie!”

“I’m serious,” he said as you crossed your arms to shoot him a lighthearted glare.

“You know, I wasn’t like this when you introduced Nik to me.”

“Nik is my soulmate,” he said without hesitation. “I doubt the brute caveman is your soulmate.”

“He's not a caveman.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“He just…he doesn’t look very friendly,” you said in a rush to defend him. “I’m aware of it but he’s been to wars and stuff, so it’s kinda expected—”

“Which is another red flag, sunshine,” Jamie insisted. “When was he born, you said?”

“1832.”

“You have a crush on Dracula: Lumberjack Edition?”

“He doesn’t give off vampire vibes!”

“No, he gives off werewolf vibes,” he said. “And just in case a certain popular franchise has escaped your notice, they’re both equally bad.”

You scrunched your nose up at him, still leaning to the counter while he sipped his coffee.

“What happened to the guy Nik set you up with?”

“Oh that date was a disaster,” you said with a shrug. “He talked about himself the whole time. I barely got two words in.”

“I hate when they do that,” he grumbled, making you smile.

“I swear to you Logan is not a bad guy,” you said. “He’s the furthest thing from that—which by the way, we might be just arguing over nothing. I honestly doubt he sees me that way.”

He shot you a look of disbelief.

“Sunshine.”

“No I really don’t think—”

“A lot of people you cross paths with see you that way.”

“You and Julie both say that but that’s because you’re my best friends.”

“No, that’s because we see how people look at you,” he said. “Unlike you.”

“Yeah but Logan—”

“Logan will make a move on you one of these days, and I think you should turn him down when he does.”

You wiggled your brows. “It’d be a bit difficult to turn him down while I’m climbing him like a tree.”

“Fuck him once and leave him.”

“I already decided what our future cabin in the woods will be like.”

He let out a groan, burying his face into his hands, making you giggle.

“If Logan and I start dating and that’s a huge if, considering I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want me that way,” you said. “We’ll go on a double date with you and Nik, and you will see he’s actually the nicest guy in the entire world.”

“I hope he’s terrible in bed so that you will snap out of this,” he motioned at you as his phone vibrated, making him check it before he took a huge sip of his coffee, then stood up.

“Thank you so much for letting me borrow your car by the way,” he said. “It’s just that, Nik’s grandma needs a ride to the airport and…”

“It’s totally fine,” you said with a wave of your hand. “Don’t even mention it.”

“I’ll bring it tonight to your place.”

“Like I said, it’s totally fine,” you said. “Tell Nik’s grandma I said hi.”

“Will do,” he said, leaning over the counter to kiss your cheek, then walked out of the diner. You grabbed his plate and mug, but as soon as you entered the kitchen, the boss’ office door opened and he peeked his head out.

“Hey,” he said. “Bad news, Stacey can’t make it, she has the flu. Do you think you could close tonight?”

Shit.

Of course you had to close when you didn’t have a car.

You pressed your lips together, then forced yourself to smile before nodding your head.

“Yeah,” you said. “I can close tonight, no problem.”

                                                  *

Today was not going as planned, at all.

Creepy customers weren’t exactly new to you. You were pretty sure that everyone in service industry had to deal with them at one point or another, God knew you did. But usually, once you turned them down, they finished their meals and left without leaving you a tip.

They didn’t just sit there at the booth, staring at you for almost an hour.

Paul was by the grill as you walked into the kitchen and heaved a sigh, pressing your palms into your eyes, your heart beating in your throat.

It was fine. If he stayed there towards the closing time, you were just going to ask Paul to handle him, he was pretty good at that. He would deal with him, and afterwards you would just call a cab and go home and forget about today.

“You okay?” Paul asked and you dropped your hands, then nodded, clearing your throat.

“Um—yeah. Just tired I guess.”

“You sure?”

“Uh huh,” you said. “Slow day but I went to bed late, so…”  

He grinned. “Your new boyfriend is keeping you up late?”

You let out a small laugh. “It’s nothing like that.”

“No?”

“No,” you said. “I don’t even know if he likes me that way to be honest.”

“What, he just came to drive you home the other day out of the goodness in his heart?”

You nodded again. “Yeah. He’s nice.”

“Honey, I’m terribly sorry to shatter your trust in the goodness of us men, but we usually don’t do that just for any girl.”

“Yeah but Logan is nice,” you insisted. “Not to mention, he’s out of my league.”

“Did you break all the mirrors in your place or something?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Paul.”

“Take it from a guy, Logan definitely wants to…” he wiggled his brows and you grabbed the table cloth, then tossed it at him for him to catch it in the air.

“That’s absolutely not true.”

“So your crush isn’t keeping you up, then what is?”

“Have you met me?” you asked him. “I run on stress.”

“You know what’s good for stress, right?” he asked with a smirk but as soon as he stole a look out of the small kitchen window into the diner, then pulled his brows together. “Did I Beetlejuice this motherfucker or something?”

“What?” you asked, turning your head to follow his line of sight, then gasped when you saw Logan walking to the counter to sit on a stool.

At first you were surprised at the relief that hit you out of nowhere so fast that it made your head spin, because normally whenever you were around Logan, your heart would be making flips, adrenaline rushing through you. It took you a moment to understand what it was, and once you did, you let out a breath.

It was safety.

Somehow, something in your body knew Logan being there meant you were completely safe.

You let out a breath and pushed open the door to step outside, then approached the counter.

“Hey,” you said, still slightly dizzy and Logan’s hazel eyes searched your face, his frown deepening.

“What’s wrong?”

“What?”

“I could hear your heartbeat from a mile away,” he said. “What’s going on?”

You blinked a couple of times. “You recognize my heartbeat?”

“Yeah,” he said as if it was completely normal. “And I smelled your fear. So what’s going on?”

“You what?” you asked. “I smell like fear?”

“Not normally, but you do right now,” he said impatiently. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, trying to focus as you stole a look at the booth the creep was still sitting in, Logan turning his head to follow your glances.

“He, um…” you said, lowering your voice. “He wanted to know when I get off work, and—and I said no and he’s been sitting there for an hour, just staring.”

Logan’s eyebrows rose as if he was surprised by the guy’s audacity.

“And I close the diner tonight,” you whispered. “And I gave the car to Jamie because his boyfriend’s grandma has been staying with them, and she’s really nice except for when she made that one comment about me giving it up too—” you stopped yourself. “Sorry. Um, I don’t—”

“How about I drive you home tonight?” he cut you off, making you pull your brows together.

“You’d do that?”

The look he gave you was almost reprimanding as if he was offended by you asking a question when the answer was clear as day and you let out a relieved breath.

“Logan I…” you trailed off. “I don’t know how to thank you, you’re—you’re amazing, really.”

“You have no reason to thank me, princess,” he said, making your heart skip a beat.

“I have many reasons.”

“No, and don’t worry about that asshole,” he said, nodding in the direction of the booth before turning to you, “but you need to call me when this sort of bullshit happens.”

“I don’t have your number,” you said and he paused for a moment as if he hadn’t thought about that.

“Right,” he said, taking his phone out of his pocket before holding it out for you and you smiled, then took it from him. You entered your phone number, then sent yourself a quick text before handing him the phone back.

“There,” you said with a grin. “Now we have each other’s numbers. Technology isn’t so bad, huh?”

He gave you a small smile and you cleared your throat.

“So what can I get you?” you asked, shifting your weight from one foot to other in excitement, and he frowned for a moment.

“Any chance you’ve got some of that pie from earlier?”

“Sure!” you said. “I’ll be right back.”

You went into the kitchen and made your way to the counter to get out the pie, then cut a big slice to put it on the plate.

“Look at that, your mood is fixed for some reason,” Paul teased you and you scrunched up your nose at him, then grabbed the chocolate sauce bottle. You carefully drew the shape on the plate, your tongue sticking out from the corner of your mouth.

“So let me guess, he’s still not your boyfriend?”

You gave him a chiding look. “Don’t.”

“Hey, I’m asking to see if I need to set you up with one of my friends.”

“Oh I’ve met your friends,” you said with a laugh. “I’ll respectfully decline, thank you.”

“They’re pretty cool guys.”

“I guess I’m not cool,” you told him and picked up the plate, then pushed open the kitchen door to make your way to Logan who was sitting on the stool by the counter.

“There you go,” you said and put the plate in front of him. “You may be curious about what that shape is on the plate is.”

“Was just about to ask you about that.”

“That’s a cigar,” you pointed at it. “And there’s an X over it because cigars suck. And that’s a frowny face right next to it because to repeat, cigars suck.”

“I see,” he said with a small grin. “A very clear message.”

“Isn’t it?” you asked, stealing a look at the booth to check on the creep but the booth was completely empty. You blinked a couple of times before you turned to Logan.

“Logan?”

“Hm?”

“Where did that man go?”

He grabbed his fork. “He left.”

“…Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

Your frown deepened. “Did you say something to him?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Just a small warning, that’s all.”

You could feel the relief filling your system as a smile warmed your face, making you bite at your lip.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he muttered as he dug into the pie while you leaned against the counter, crossing your arms on it.

“So you were around then?” you asked. “When you heard my heartbeat?”

“Mm hm.”

“How do you know it’s my heartbeat and not someone else’s?”

“I recognize it,” he said, making you raise your brows.

“Is that—” you started but were distracted by a customer asking for a refill, so you grabbed the coffee pot, went to refill his coffee and walked behind the counter again. You pulled out a mug to fill Logan coffee, then put it in front of him.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Is that what you did during the French Revolution as well?”

“To repeat, I haven’t—” he started but then his lips curled into a smile upon seeing the teasing glint in your eyes. “Right. Seriously, what is this fascination with French Revolution?”

“I was weirdly into historical documentaries while pregnant with Theo,” you said. “Kinda stuck.”

“Ah.”

“Speaking of all that though, what was 19th century like?”

Logan took a sip of his coffee. “Foggy.”

“…Very descriptive, Dickens,” you said with a nod of your head. “Professor X should have you teach literature, you’d do wonders in prose.”

 That made him chuckle before he took his fork into his mouth, and you smiled at him before walking to another table to take their order.

                                             *

As the sky went dark and the closing time got closer, you realized that you hadn’t even been paying attention to the time. Paul had left an hour ago, so had all the customers but you were so lost in the excitement of spending time with Logan that if it weren’t for your phone vibrating on the counter, you wouldn’t have even noticed it was past the closing time.

“But yeah, he literally brought a kitten home from the street,” you said with a smile as you walked to get your coat. “The said kitten is now Nik and Jamie’s beloved son, but—what are you doing?”

Logan pulled out his wallet and motioned at the empty plate and the coffee mug, making you narrow your eyes.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Princess—”

“I will threaten you, I don’t care if you’re invincible and like 200 years old.”

He tilted his head. “You’re threatening me with threatening me?”

“Yes,” you said. “I will kill you with kindness and also this knife I found in the kitchen if you try to pay for it.”

“You’re terrible at threatening people.”

“I know, I’m working on it,” you muttered as you grabbed the plate and the mug to put it on the counter of the kitchen through the small window, and by the time you turned around he had already placed some cash on where the plate just was.

“Logan!”

“Technically I’m not paying for it, I’m leaving a tip.”

“That tip is more than the check.”

“Well that’s—” he started before his head whipped around, the playful smile wiping off of his face as a car pulled over in front of the diner. He gritted his teeth, making you pull your brows together.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” he said. “Just do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll step outside for a moment,” he said. “Stay here.”

Your heart started pounding in your chest. “What—what’s going on?”

“I swear to you, it’ll take only a moment,” he said, his voice completely calm as he stood up from the stool. “Don’t step outside, okay?”

 “Hey asshole, I don’t appreciate being threatened!” A shout came from outside and you took a step back, panic making you dizzy upon recognizing the voice; it had to be the guy from earlier. “So I brought some friends! How about we show you some manners and then entertain your girl?”

You could feel your blood freezing in your veins and you grabbed your phone. “I’ll—I’ll call the cops—”

“Don’t,” Logan said. “They’ll only get in the way. I got it.”

“Logan…” you started but a metallic noise reached your ears as metal claws sprouted from his knuckles, making your eyes widen.

“What…”

“Stay here.”

“I-but—” you stammered but he had already walked out of the door, making you cover your mouth. Fear pounded through your system, your eyes filling with tears as you sniffled, then grabbed the knife on the counter and took a step to the closed door, but blood splattered over the huge window, soon followed by the panicked yelling of the newcomers. Your stomach churned as you swallowed thickly, then you wiped at your eyes and rushed to the door with the knife in your hand before you swung it open.

The view you were presented with looked like something out of a movie. Two of the guys writhing on the ground, one of the crawling to the car while the other looked like he was crying. The man from earlier was also on the ground, holding onto his face but you could see the blood dripping through his fingers as Logan retracted his claws, then held him from the back of his jacket and lifted him up.

“You’ve got something to say to her?” he growled, and the man let out a sob, then lowered his hands, your breath catching in your throat upon seeing the gashes on his face.

“I’m—I’m sorry,” he managed to whimper through pain and Logan dropped him on his face unceremoniously, then turned to you.

“What’s the knife for?” he asked and you blinked a couple of times, forcing yourself to drag your gaze from the man.

“I was coming to save you,” you told Logan, making the corners of his mouth twitch.

“Yeah?” he asked as if humoring you and you nodded, then took a look at the men on the ground.

“Come on,” Logan said, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Let me take you home.”

You felt like you were in a haze as you rushed inside to put the knife back, grabbed your phone off the counter, then shut down the lights and closed the door behind you, locked it and turned to Logan again.

“…Shouldn’t we call someone?”

“Nope.”

“But what if you get in trouble because of—”

“I won’t,” Logan answered, gently leading you to the motorcycle, his hand on the small of your back. He put the helmet on your head and you got behind him on the bike, wrapping your arms around his waist to hold onto him tight.

The road to your home felt almost surreal. The panic still hadn’t left your system yet, your mind going overdrive with everything that could have gone wrong, or would go wrong if those creeps had decided to press charges on Logan. Even though he didn’t look worried at all, you were beginning to think you worried enough for the both of you.

And if something had happened to him, if they had gotten to him before he could beat them—

No.

You couldn’t even bring yourself to think about it.

You hadn’t even realized that your cheeks were wet with tears when he pulled over in front of your house, his head turning to the side when he heard you sniffling. You swung your leg over the seat to sit sideways on it and he got off the motorcycle to help you take off the helmet but as soon as he did, you pressed your palms on your eyes, biting inside your cheek to keep yourself under control.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, sniffling again as you lowered your hands before a shaky sigh left your lips. He lifted your chin with a curled finger, your eyes shooting up to his, your heart skipping a beat as he gently wiped at the tear under your eye.

“I’m sorry for scaring you off.”

The change in his tone was impossible to miss. That growl that had spilled from his lips while talking to that man was completely gone and now his deep voice was soft like honey, making you feel all warm inside. You blinked back the tears and shook your head fervently.

“You didn’t,” you said. “That’s not what’s happening.”

“But you’re scared.”

“Not of you,” you said, shaking your head again as you bit at your nail. “For you.”

That made him pull his brows together in confusion and you let out a breath.

“Logan, there were three people there,” you insisted. “They could’ve easily overpowered you—”

“That’s impossible.”

“They could’ve killed you!”

“Also impossible,” he said, a small chuckle escaping from his lips as if the idea was too absurd. “I told you before. I heal.”

“I’m sure there are exceptions to that, if they came up with a way—”

“Unless those guys were keeping a fully functioning high technology lab underneath the diner, they couldn’t,” he said. “Me getting hurt was not a possibility there, and the only reason they’re alive is because you were there. That’s it.”

You sniffled again.

“But did I make you betray a principle or something?”

“What?”

“Because the secretary of Mutant Affairs held a press conference the other day and he—”

“Hank?”

“Hank McCoy, yes. You know him?”

“Yeah, we’re friends.”

“Well, he talked about how mutants have this principle—”

A dry chuckle climbed up his throat.

“I don’t have any principles when it comes to assholes like those,” he said, a shadow crossing his handsome face. “But nobody gets to hurt you or threaten you. That’s the principle here.”

Your head was spinning again for a completely different reason and you took a trembling breath, stealing a look at the building behind you before looking up to his hazel eyes, your heart beating in your throat.

“Would you like to—” you started but before you could invite him to your apartment, a car flashed its headlights at you two, making you turn your head to look at it.

Oh.

Your car.

Jamie was in the driver’s seat and he frowned slightly before he stopped the car and Nik leaned out from the open passenger seat window.

“Hey Sunshine!” he said. “Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

You closed your eyes for a moment before opening them again, then licked your lips.

“It’s on mute, I didn’t hear,” you said. “Uh, Logan, this is Nik, Jamie’s boyfriend. Nik, this is Logan, my…my friend.”

Nik gave him a grin as he eyed him up and down.

“Nice to meet you Logan,” he said before turning to you. “Get in, we’re taking you out to dinner. Your friend can come too if he’d like.”

You glanced up at Logan, biting at your lip and he took a deep breath, then cleared his throat as if trying to snap out of a haze.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I am,” you said. “I just didn’t know they were coming—but um, would you like to join us? Nik is an expert when it comes to restaurants, he knows all the great ones.”

Logan shook his head.

“I’d better go,” he said. “It’ll be easier to track those guys down while they’re still bleeding.”

You blinked a couple of times. “What are you gonna do?”

“I’ll make sure they understand they shouldn’t cross paths with you ever again,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “That’s all.”

You hesitated only for a moment before you stood on your tiptoes, wrapping your arms around his neck to hug him, resting your forehead against his hard chest, the scent of pines and smoke surrounding you in the most pleasant way. He cradled the back of your head with one hand while his other arm sneaked around your waist and he nuzzled his nose into your hair to inhale deeply, making your heartbeat faster. Even though you felt like you could happily spend your whole life in his arms, you knew you had to step back especially with Jamie and Nik right there, so you slowly pulled back to look up at him. His hazel gaze went down to your lips for a moment before snapping back to your eyes and you swallowed thickly.

“Thanks,” you managed to say. “For…you know.”

“No problem, princess,” he said softly and stepped back as well, then nodded in Jamie’s direction before getting on the motorcycle.

“Be careful,” he said and you let out a small laugh.

“Likewise,” you said before he drove off and you shifted your weight before making your way to the car. You opened the door and got in the backseat, then slammed the door shut as Nik turned to look at you over his shoulder.

“Hi honey.”

“Hi Nik. Hi Jamie.”

“So that was Logan?” Nik asked and Jamie scoffed as he started the car.

“Yep. That’s the asshole I told you about.”

“Well, neither of you told me he was that hot,” Nik pointed out, grinning at you. “Did we interrupt something?”

You wiped at your nose, then shook your head. “Um, no.”

Jamie took a look at you from the rear mirror, then frowned.

“If that asshole made you cry, I swear—”

“He didn’t,” you said in a rush and buckled your seat belt. “I’ll tell you on the way. What are we eating?”

[xxaysha]

Forgiveness

Well, I guess it's finally time to forgive you. Ive been putting this off for as long as I possibly could, but my need to heal my nervous system have overpowered my comfortability in the peace I had ignoring all the pain you've caused.

I can no longer say that I hate you, as a part of me has separated myself from the taste of disdain you seem to leave in my mouth, but I still manage to wear the comfy green jacket you gave me every single day. It somehow brings me an intense amount of comfort, as if the spirit of you that you killed long ago still lives in the air somehow. Every time my muscles tremor and spasm I am reminded of the part of myself that was killed, the part that was tortured and enslaved by the controlling mania that you somehow managed to call a home. Yet, somehow this so called home felt like such as times when the roles were reversed and the angry man began to take your place. How you both swamped roles so effortlessly, as if a dance you both practiced many times before. If it wasn't you, it was him. If it wasn't him it was you and how the panic in my blood danced like the water that fell during a heavy rain spell.

It is hard to forgive you, as I have hours of stories in my head of how horrible you were to me. How the torturous soul you created still lives in my held hostage by a body the trauma is trying to kill. The anger rises up deep from within the body of my feet barreling up like a thermometer in the mid-day of the desert in the hot summer. Though, it is not all I remember. You were there for me, certainly at times when I needed someone the most. Yes, there were times I had no one but I recall you becoming the person I needed you to be when I had no more answers, when I felt like my finish line was coming close, when my will to continue had diminished and all my cards had been dealt. That you, that had showed up for me was the mother I needed & the pain of that still burns inside my so deep it almost hurts as if a torch is being burned inside my chest and throat. You stuck up for me in times in which I had no fight and you protected me from the abuse of my father many times. Though, it is hard for me to remember the good in you solely because it makes me more sad than thinking about the bad in you. I do recall the times in which you were a Mother. My mother. I know I am luckily to have had one at all due to the fact that some of my siblings didn't get such opportunity but the pain is still apparent. Yes, it hurts because the pain you caused was strong but it hurts the most because you had the ability to be so kind, loving, generous, affectionate and free spirited. You taught me how to enjoy life, how to have fun in moments that only needed music. You taught me to dance in the car and sing my lungs out as if no one was watching and to laugh until we cried. To look at life as if it is was a childhood game, like when we would play shoots and ladders over and over again. That part lives inside of me still and I embrace even more the older I get. I know I always say I didn't get much of a childhood but because you heart was so young you showed me what life through the eyes of child meant, regardless of the adult roles I took on.

I think it is time to finally let go. Letting go is something that has always been difficult for me, as I hold onto things as if letting go of them will leave me empty. I'm not even sure of why I hold on to them in the first place, but in short I want to do something that I probably never have. I want to thank you for being my Mom, especially because you didn't have to be. It was a role you could have passed on and you took it on with pride and loved me as your own. For that, you taught me that blood isn't thicker than water and that love can run deeper than DNA. You gave me a love that I truly needed and had never had as a young little girl. Your family welcomed me with open arms and loved me as their own as well, and till the day I had the best years with them. I'm sorry that it had to end the way that it did, but at the same time I'm not sorry for the boundaries I set. I gave you my all time and time again and eventually it had to stop somewhere.

I hope you heal from torture you cause yourself. I hope you learn to love without fear of abandonment and I hope that before you die you find peace in yourself and in the life you have led.

I know you are a broken and for that I am sorry, as much as it's hard for me to separate from the fact that how often and how much you hurt me wasn't personal, I know that is was because your fear held deeper than anything. Your fear of losing the ones you love. It is difficult for me to forgive you because of how deeply you hurt me, but without forgiving you, I realize that it is almost as if I'm hurting myself. So in that.... Mom, i forgive you. I forgive you for hurting me, for putting me through things no child should ever witness. I forgive you for harming yourself which in then also harmed me. I forgive you for the words you've said, all the yelling, screaming and slamming doors. I forgive you for hurting my brother and taking him away from me. I forgive you for forcing him to choose between the both of us. I forgive you for throwing me in the fire while I still recovered from the previous burns and I forgive you for all the times you refused to say I love you back. I still love you, I love the mother that you were at your best and that is that will be the memory I choose to hold on to. With this, I am now letting go. Letting go of all the gripping and grasping of the pain I've held deep inside. Letting go of all the trauma, and letting go of constantly blaming myself. The hurt child I was, will no longer hold me hostage. For it is time for that little girl to feel loved, cared and nurtured, from here on out that is how she will feel because It is me who can do that for her now. With Love,

Aysha

[helpimhyperfixating]

Captive Together - Mer!Jotaro x Mer!Reader P1

Okay, fair warning, this oneshot is LONG. Like, really really long. I divided it into 4 parts but still every chapter is a monster. I edited it best I could, but when it takes a whole day to do so, you can get tired and unattentive, lol. This whole thing got out of hand and it is weird, but I like it. With that out of the way, enjoy some Mer!Joot 😌

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3  |  Part 4

Word Count: 8531

Opening your eyes, you winced a little at the stinging jab of pain that shot through your abdomen. With sluggish movements, you drifted forward until you could feel your hand hit glass. 

Right. You were in that human facility...

How did you end up in this mess again?

- - - -

“Quick! Go! Go!!” Your voice was urgent and a little panicked, scaring the two pups in front of you to do as you asked. They didn’t know who you were, where you came from, and if you were even able to be truly trusted, but the looming shadow closing in on your location and the terrifying rumble and roar of - what they thought was - a shark was enough to spur them into doing whatever you said.

You had just been swimming by, travelling from place to place looking for a place to live, maybe even a pod who’d accept you. And that was when you spotted the two pups, all by themselves and playing with the sand on the ocean floor, no adults in sight.

Seeing how big and mischievous their grins were, you quickly realised they had most likely snuck away from their pod; bringing back some memories from when you had done that yourself. 

With a good-natured sigh, you started to swim over, deciding to take them back to their pod before something would happen.

“Hey, you two.” You clicked out as you approached them calmly, a warm smile on your face. Upon the sound of a voice, the two - they couldn’t have been older than 1,5 years - shot their heads up, eyes comically widening. “What’re you playing?” You asked as you bridged the remaining gap, letting yourself float down to sit on the seabed close to them about two meters away; giving them a little bit of space yet also sitting close enough, to show them you meant no harm.

“We’ve never seen this kind of sand before.” The pup with a pretty, dark blue tail and impressive hairdo spoke up a little meekly and your smile widened just a little bit more at the sweet answer, making both kids relax a bit.

“So you decided to come out here and play in it?”

“Mhm!” The other pup, with a darker grey tail and two markings running crossed down his face, hummed happily, his voice sounding gruff as if he had spent a week in the Red Sea, even at his young age.

“Soo, you didn’t sneakily sneak away from your pod and parents to go exploring the big blue and happened to stumble across this seabed with sand you hadn’t seen before, right?” You questioned cheekily, leaning your chin in your hand as you raised a teasing eyebrow.

Both their eyes widened a bit and you chuckled while the pup with the hairdo curled in a bit on himself. “Are we in trouble?” 

“Not with me, no.” You smiled, making him come out of his shell a bit again. “With your parents however? I can’t say.” Now they were both making themselves small, guilty looks on their faces. “C’mon, I’m sure it will be fine.” You reassured them as you pushed yourself off the seabed, swimming over to the two pups until you were in right by them and placing a hand on either of their backs. “It’s best to get you back to your pod now though.”

“O-Okay.”

You hummed a little and pushed them gently to start swimming, one on either side of you. You looked between them both, seeing the anxious looks on their faces and decided to try and distract them a bit as you chaperoned them back. You happened to have noticed a pod took up residence in this area and these two smelled like they came from it, so you knew where to go. You also knew that pod was quite a ways away so you had to find a way to fill the time anyways.

“So, what are your names?”

“I-I’m Josuke, that’s Okuyasu.”

You hummed a little, giving them both another smile. “So, how long ago did you sneak out?”

“Uh, the sun was about there.” Josuke pointed up to where the sun had stood in the sky when they left, filtering through the surface of the water at an angle that told you they snuck out about an hour ago.

“Hm, well, maybe no one in your pod has noticed your absence yet and I can help you two sneak back in!” You started in a secretive voice, making both pups perk up. Okuyasu drifted a little closer to you and grabbed your hand, Josuke seeing and doing the same on your other side, nodding happily at you.

To be honest, you highly doubted no one had noticed their absence, but swimming with two anxious pups was something you would rather avoid. Not only because you feared your lack of experience would make you unable to handle it, but also because anxious pups meant slow pups, and matching their pace when they were anxiously swimming in dread for what was to come was about the most nail biting experience one could have.

“So, why did you swim out so far th-“ whatever you were going to ask was interrupted when your ears picked up on the distant sounds of a motorboat. 

Your eyes widening in alarm, the two pups noticed the warning signals you automatically gave off and soon picked up on the noise as well, seeing as the boat was speeding closer very fast. 

Now, humans were aware of the existence of Mer, but this was supposed to be a protected area. So if there were humans here, especially those with the loud motors? That could only mean bad news.

“Quick! Go! Go!!” You wrenched your hands from their grips before starting to push on their backs, trying to urge them to go.

Okuyasu let a feared whine escape from his throat while Josuke immediately employed the tactic he had been taught to use whenever in danger: call out.

“Shark! Shark!” He trilled out in a panic, the trills and clicks of his voice carrying a lot further through the water than at his normal pitch and volume, soon joined by Okuyasu in the same fashion as he remembered what he was supposed to do.

While you were glad they had their security systems in order, you knew how clever humans were, especially those who went against the rules set in place, and you feared that they might hear the two pups.

“Ssh, ssh, I’ll keep you safe from the shark! Let’s hide between those rocks, come on!!” You managed to grab both their little hands again and frantically dragged them along with you as you swam full speed towards the rocks that sat about forty meters away, both Josuke and Okuyasu too shocked by the sudden speed they were being pulled along with to keep shouting warnings in panic.

It was dangerous to get to the rocks. The boat was almost right above you by now and to get to safety, you had to swim with the pups underneath the belly of the thing. The water was crystal clear today and the chances of being seen were high.

Safety for the pups was your one and only priority though and so you gunned it.

With an incredible speed, you shot through the water, making full use of your tail as you dragged the poor kids with you, them trying their best to flap their tails and help swim - although it was mainly for decoration and show by now.

Forty meters,

Thirty five,

Thirty,

You were now swimming directly underneath the boat and you tilted your head, keeping a wary eye on the thing as you saw it suddenly stop and rock, presumably from movement from the humans on top.

Twenty five,

A shape on the boat, barely able to be made out through the distortion of the water, tipped you off to the incoming danger and you immediately pulled Josuke and Okuyasu in, pushing them forward with all your might right before a sharp and searing pain shot past your left side.

From the boat, someone had thrown a harpoon down, the speed and angle serving to graze your side, creating a nasty cut on your waist that ran from there, diagonally over part of your stomach before the thing embedded itself in the sea floor.

A sharp and searing pain came in waves but you refrained from calling out, only hissing through your teeth with a small grunt before you shook your head, ignoring it for now as you saw a rope was attached to the end of the sharp stick. It was slowly wrenched free from the sand and you wasted no time in shooting past it, scooping Okuyasu and Josuke up in your arms as you rushed past them, seeing as they were clinging onto each other in shock as they saw you being hit.

“You’re bleeding!” 

“It’s okay!” You chirped back over the rush of water coming past as you tried to swim as fast as possible with the pain, leaving a trail of blood behind as you went.

Fifteen,

Ten,

Five,

“Okay, hide behind those rocks and stay there no matter what happens okay? Don’t come out until someone from your pod comes and gets you, do you understand?!” You shook them both a little, maybe not being the best course of action but you had to make your point clear.

“O-Okay!”

“Don’t make a sound either!” You called back over your shoulder as you started swimming away, secretly looking to see if they were well hidden and stayed put as you asked them to. You saw the both of them look at you with fear and anxiousness, peeking from behind the rocks, and sent them the last best reassuring smile you could muster before turning to look forward again and booking it. You were gonna save those pups if it cost you your damn life.

- - - -

Your fuzzy memory finally began to clear up a bit and you remembered how another boat came and chased the hunter’s one away. You had led the hunter’s boat away from the pups but got trapped in a cove, only for the new boat with science humans to come to your aid.

Upon seeing your injury, they got very concerned and offered to take you with them so they could treat you and help you.

Despite their honeyed words and friendly appearance though, there was one blaring warning signal. These humans that were claiming to trying to ‘help you’, smelled exactly like the ones from the boat that had injured you. Which meant these people had interacted; and not just in passing or a small falling out, no they spent a while with each other to have the scent rub off that heavily. 

In other words, these were no friends to you.

Despite knowing this, you had agreed to their offer. Those pups were still nearby, what could you have done? Maybe if they took you along they’d be satisfied, and never realise there were more Mer nearby. And so you allowed them to take you.

-

“Good news! Today the bandages come off and we are planning to transport you to a bigger tank while you further recover!” One of the humans you had come to see a little more often in your past two days in this tiny tank approached, that easily recognisable false smile on his face. Whenever he approached like that, there was something else behind it. Yet, you pretended to not notice, perking up in happiness and sloshing around in your tank like an excited puppy despite the pain that brought.

“For me?” You asked. Your human English was a little rusty and sounded somewhat garbled, which was no surprise given how you had to use completely different parts of your vocal cords to speak it, but at least it was understandable.

“Yes!” He grinned before stepping even closer. “And! Inside there is a surprise! Around the same time as we found you, we found another Mer, stuck in a fishing net. They’re in the tank you will be transferred to today!” He sounded genuinely happy this time and you realised with a bit of horror he probably saw it all as a big experiment. Most likely wanting to see how two of the same species reacted upon meeting. “It’s that one over there!” He pointed behind himself to a large tank on the opposite end of the large room.

You had noticed this tank almost immediately when you first got to this facility. After all, why were you stuffed into a tiny tank that was more fitted to fit an octopus rather than the large tank that was available right there? But if it housed another Mer then that was logical. Probably a bigger Mer than you as well.

You had seen the scientists hover around it but you never saw any creature inside when you looked at it.

Would it be a male or female waiting for you in there? Given the man’s excitement however, you had a hunch. All you could say was you hoped they hadn’t been injured by the humans to bring in like you were.

- - - -

You spent the rest of the day just trying everything in your power to annoy the ever living fuck out of the scientists around.

You were in a small glass tank, barely big enough to let you stretch your tail out fully and with an open top, allowing you to communicate.

Sloshing around and making water spill over the tank was one of your favourite things to do, your goal to make the papers in the hands of the scientists wet or to make them slip and slam a few teeth out on the floor. If they glare at you, you just acted like it was completely involuntary, having pain in your injury, or the need to move being the cause of you sloshing and splashing so much.

Your next method of annoying scientists was: throwing the small ball they had given you directly to their heads. It was a small yellow thing, apparently filled with air so that it would float on the water. And just the perfect size to lob at someone’s head.

Of course, if they turned around angry, ball in hand, you’d act as if it was all a game. All a game your dumb and simple mind could come up with. And so the scientists just let it happen, picking up the ball and begrudgingly returning it to you every time so you wouldn’t start sadly whining like some puppy.

And that was exactly what your goal was; to convince them you were no smarter than a seal.

Of course, you had the ability of speech, but you intentionally kept your vocabulary in the low. Talking a bit like a pup, with missing or incorrectly pronounced words while the rest of your behaviour mirrored it.

You smiled a lot, indulging the scientists in questions about Mer life that you answered ‘as best you could’ while in reality you were stringing lie after lie after lie. You pretended to be their friend, just like they did to you. What comes around, gets around, after all.

Sometimes though, when you were talking to the humans, you felt as if there were eyes on you. And not the scientist eyes or the camera eyes, but angrier ones.

-

As the morning bled into noon, you noticed how warily the scientists were being around the big tank. It was open at the top same as yours and reached until about the human’s midriff, but the rest of the tank disappeared into the floor for it was probably a lot deeper than it seemed to you if there was another Mer in there that you’d never even seen before.

But, noticing how hesitant the humans were to stick their head over the glass and look down, you figured you’d test them a little. 

No one was really paying attention to- or around you, so you picked up your little yellow ball - the only entertainment you had - and tested its weight a few times before chucking it so hard and so far that it soared over everyone’s heads and plopped right in the bigger tank.

As it landed, you cheered as if it had been your childish goal all along before expectantly looking at the humans. They were, after all, expected to bring it back to you.

Much to your internal delight, you watched how the humans looked back at you in horror and disbelief. It all but confirmed your suspicions that whoever was in there, was very much not happy. And different from you, they decided to go the aggressive route.

When none of the scientists made a move to retrieve your ball for you, you started to make a little whining noise in the back of your throat, making puppy eyes and starting to look all sad.

If the Mer in there indeed went the aggressive route, that meant that your plan was still in full swing. For, if they only exuded aggression, the scientists wouldn’t necessarily see many signs of higher intelligence. They would most likely chock it up to animal instinct instead of genuine anger. Which meant you could continue playing as dumb as you liked without them getting suspicious.

“It’s okay! I’ll, uh... go get it for you!” One of the scientists spoke up towards you and you perked up a little, gripping the edge of your tank and pushing up a bit to mock excitement.

Curiously, you watched as he went to grab a long net on a stick. Was it not within arms reach? 

You watched as he walked back over to the tank and warily started inching the pole towards the ball. The entire thing shook with nervousness and you watched in awe as suddenly, out of nowhere, a large Mer shot up, slashing through the invading item and breaking it clean in half before disappearing below the floor again in a flash.

The scientist screamed in fear as the pole got cut clean through, the net falling down into the water before sinking, while one of the other humans went to comfort the scared one.

That was the best thing you had seen in all your time being here.

“What has been said about unauthorised interactment with the large tank?!” A large booming voice suddenly sounded from the door the humans constantly walked in and out of and you, together with all the scientists, turned your heads towards it.

“S-She threw her ball in there, I was just trying to get it back like protocol says!”

“She can go get it herself. We’re transferring her right now.”

All eyes turned to you with that and you shrunk a little, lowering yourself into the water until only your eyes shyly peeked out. Somehow you had a bad feeling about this.

- - - - 

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! BAD!

You were dangling in mid air on a crane or contraption, some sort of harness put around you and painfully rubbing against your wound. Mers healed faster than humans but your wound was still very much present and open and painful. Did they completely forget you had that or something?? They were even supposed to take off the bandaging today and they didn’t! Although right now it was your only protection from excruciating pain.

Your tail barely had any support and was basically dangling in mid-air, held up only by the fact and grace of being attached to you and your attempt of using your abdominal muscles to keep it steady. Unfortunately for you, that was where your wound was as well, so WAHEY!

You were cursing up a storm as the crane moved you across the room, hovering over the floor as if you were flying. To the scientists, it just sounded like a bunch of panicked clicks and trills, but for you, you were using language so colourful, it would make anyone blush.

Water dripped from you like stalactites in a wet cave and the only satisfaction you had in this moment was that it would make the floor a little slippery for the scientists, hopefully with at least one falling on their face. After what seemed like an excruciatingly long time but was only a few minutes, you were dangling over the larger tank. 

Your knuckles were white as you gripped onto the harness holding you up. You looked down and noticed how big it actually was. As you tried to gauge the depth from above the water however, the support holding you up clicked loose and you fell down into the tank, harness and all.

Thankfully, you managed to angle yourself to dive in at least a little gracefully instead of just belly flop in - which would be very bad from that height and with your injury.

As you fell into the water you had your arms protectively shielded over your head and your eyes screwed shut, but now you hesitantly blinked them open, bringing your arms down as you sunk down a tiny bit more before stopping.

Looking to your right, you were surprised to see several scientists looking through the glass. Apparently there was a room a floor lower which gave them perfect view of the big tank and the happenings inside it. They all had clipboards and notes and whatever, ready to record and write down everything that was about to happen.

That was the last thought you could really give it, for you suddenly saw something large and fast move from the bottom of the tank, all the way up to you.

Curling in on yourself on instinct, you looked up only to be met by one of the biggest and most intimidating Mer you had ever seen. His torso was in proportion to you but his tail was absolutely massive, almost twice the size of yours. It was strong and powerful looking, sleek black and probably about four or four and a half meters in length while his torso himself was impressive as well, muscle and raw power screaming from every inch of him.

How in the fuck were those scientists ever able to capture him?

His face was set in a glare and you instantly averted your eyes, displaying submissiveness as you turned your head and bowed it a little.

Now, you had wanted to display submissive behaviour from the beginning, just to keep your act up, no matter what kind of Mer was in here, but when you opened your mouth to try and talk and he growled in warning, you immediately slammed it shut. This shark Mer made it very easy. 

After a few more seconds of him glowering at you, you opted for safety and abruptly turned around, swimming down as fast as you could to the bottom of this 20-meter deep tank and shooting into the massive skull that sat there. You had to struggle to fit through the eye, the harness still on you hooking against it and hindering you even more, but with some squeezing and manoeuvring, you managed to get inside.

Looking out of one of the eyes, you saw he hadn’t really moved but was still glaring at you before letting out a ‘Tch’ and casually turning to the side, languidly swimming away and down to the corner opposite of the one you were in. 

There was a thick, white, concrete column in the middle of the tank, impeding your vision of him as he disappeared behind it.

Letting out the breath you were holding, you closed your eyes for a second before inhaling the water around you. It felt much cleaner and more crisp than the stuffy tank you had been forced to sit in, though the scent of the other Mer was very present as well. 

Looking down at yourself, you hissed a little and cursed out the humans as you grabbed hold of the harness and lifted it as far away from the wound on your side and stomach as possible. 

The skull you were in provided cover yes, but it was also half buried in sand and you barely had any room to move or even breathe, let alone try to get that damn harness off. Going out while the shark Mer was around and wary of you seemed like a bad idea however so you just stayed put, opting to wait until night before getting out and trying to get the damn thing off.

So, in the time you were waiting, you decided to try and figure out what the fuck kind of skull you were in. It was slanted and half buried in sand, elongated jaw with big round eye sockets. It sure as hell wasn’t any animal you knew of. You even started doubting if it was a real animal at all. When you touched it it definitely didn’t feel like bone at least.

Several hours passed like that and you finally peeked your head out the eyehole again. 

The tank itself was not too bad. The bottom was filled with sand and rocks, water plants and seaweed and such sticking out and growing from it, making it look rather natural. 

With some effort, you squeezed yourself out of the eyehole again, hissing as you scraped your wound before settling on the sand right in front of the skull and starting to wriggle and tug at the harness.

Why did the humans do it like this? Weren’t they supposed to take it off? Or were they so afraid of your new tank-mate that they just decided ‘fuck it, you’re on your own’?

Aggravated, you attempted to pull it over your head. Unsuccessful. 

You tried to unclasp it. The clasps are at the back where you can’t reach. Unsuccessful.

You attempted to pull it apart. You are not strong enough. Unsuccessful. 

By now you were running out of options and just violently tugging at the constricting thing. It sat over your gills on your neck, making it hard to breathe - though that didn’t stop you from spitting every curse in the book at the scientists who were undoubtedly still watching, even if the glass where they stood earlier was as dark as the night. 

A flutter of the water suddenly reached your ears and you snapped your head up to see the shark Mer quickly swimming towards you, angry and with a murderous look in his eye. 

Under optimal circumstances you would have hidden somewhere he couldn’t fit, like the skull. Unfortunately for you, you were wearing a harness and also wouldn’t be able to get inside fast enough. 

With not many options left, you darted to the left, quickly swimming away. Taking a glance back, you gasped when you saw he was in hot pursuit. With his larger tail he was quickly gaining but you shot to the side, cutting the corner around the concrete pillar in the middle as much as possible.

Looking to the left briefly, you spotted a corner where the sand was more tailored than everywhere else, a large indent where a body had been resting. 

That was all the time you got to look at it however, since you were already rounding the pillar again to show the skull you had been hiding in. 

Right now, you cursed yourself for darting. There was no way you could outswim him. You should have just rushed into the skull back there or stayed still, hoping he wouldn’t tear you apart. Now, all you could do was try to get back in the skull.

That was a vain hope however, as he had already caught up with you. 

Your blood froze as his right arm curled around your waist, ready to grab. Yet before he did, he hesitated. Instead, he allowed you to slip away a bit further before clamping his arm around your tail, tightly grabbing hold there as he forcefully stopped your momentum and yanked you back, grabbing your shoulders with both hands once in range.

In one smooth motion, he slammed you shoulders first into the concrete pillar before removing one hand and using the claws on it to rip straight through the harness still stuck on you. 

“Stop disturbing the water with your thrashing and sleep!” He growled out, a threatening undertone in his voice while his face was so close to yours.

You were breathing fast and staring back with wide eyes but it seemed he wanted an answer before he backed off so you nodded. 

Seemingly content with that, he rudely shoved you aside before lazily swimming away, flicking his hand to get rid of some excess fabric of the harness, his tail swishing side to side as he disappeared behind the pillar again to the corner he seemed to have taken up residence in, not looking back once.

You blinked a few times, looking at where he disappeared for some seconds before you swam up, swimming out of the harness with as little tail motion as possible.

Your breathing finally levelled and you turned back around, grabbing the remains of the harness and swimming over to the skull, draping the destroyed thing over a lip on the outside before squeezing into the eye. 

- - - -

Waking from your slumber, you got to work digging. 

You had a hunch this skull was going to be your home for the time being, so you decided to make a better way of entering and exiting. Digging through the sand laying in the mouth of the skull, you followed the elongated jaw and dug until you made a nice little opening that you wouldn’t have to squeeze through.

While you were digging, you noticed the other Mer swimming around. He avoided your little hovel but otherwise would not sit still. Making laps, checking the corners, running his hand along the wall of the tank as if testing it. 

Everything pointed to him wanting to get out of here, just as much as you did.

For now, you decided to keep staying out of his way though.

Right as you exited your skull, you were met with the powerful and intimidating form of the merman. There goes your plan. “What’re you doing?” He snapped at you almost, his tone curt and to the point.

You were still half inside but decided to just stay there like that, looking up at him. “I’m making an easier and less painful entrance.” You explained, motioning to the blood stained bandage on your side. It was designed to be worn under water but even so you doubted it was doing much good.

“Well, be more quiet, you’re making too much noise.” He growled before turning around, nearly hitting you with his tail fin as he went.

You were about one second away from giving him a well earned tap on said tail fin, but managed to refrain yourself at the last second.

“Wait.” You called out after him and he surprisingly enough stopped, looking back at you over his shoulder while you got out of the skull fully. “What’s your name?”

“...” 

He didn’t say anything for a second, just looking intently at you for a second, almost as if he was searching for something. Whatever he found he must have been satisfied with though.

“Jotaro.” 

A smile appeared on your face at his answer and that piqued his interest. For, when he had been watching you in the small tank opposite the room, you had smiled so much whenever the scientists interacted with you, and it had annoyed him to the point of making his blood boil. But now? Up close? He could see this was the first genuine smile you had given since arriving in this facility, even if it was timid.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N. Let’s get the fuck outta here soon, okay?”

Before anything else could be said, you heard your name being called from above. You had given it to the humans but that didn’t stop the pit of disgust when you heard it. Your face contorted for just a second before you steeled yourself and twisted it into the sweet innocent look the humans were used to.

Unknown to you, Jotaro warily watched you as you did that, sharp eyes following your form as you went to the skull and grabbed the harness laying on top before swimming up to the surface.

Shyly poking your head out of the water, you darted your eyes back and forth a bit before landing on the man standing right next to the edge of the tank who had called you.

“Good morning.” He smiled and you bobbed your head a bit in greeting. “Where is the harness?” He then asked and you let your hand drift to the surface, the broken harness in hand.

The man tutted a little but then stuck out his hand, taking it from you before moving it to his other hand and using the one in the water to motion you closer, pointing at the bandaging around your waist. “We didn’t have time to take a look at that yesterday. How about now, Hm?”

God how you wanted to bite his hand. Leave that damned harness on all night and then act like nothing happened? Claiming to just want to look at and take care of your wound again? It almost made you regret trying to trick them by acting dumb and nice.

Someone else didn’t have the gripe of trying to keep up the act of being friendly however.

Out of nowhere, Jotaro breached right in front of you, immediately diving back down and pushing you down with him while he violently smashed his tail against the scientists outstretched hand.

Said scientist screamed in pain as several of the bones snapped at the powerful strike, others rushing towards him while Jotaro just left the chaos behind and pushed you further down before abruptly letting go about halfway to the bottom.

“The fuck are you doing.” He snarled and you backed up a bit.

“What do you mean?”

“Interacting with them. What is your plan to get out of here that makes you need to get all friendly with them?” 

As he said that, you tried to steady your breathing. No matter his looks or his seeming temper, his mind was clearly not to be underestimated and already proved to be very sharp. He knew you were putting up an act.

“I’m trying to make them think I am no more intelligent than like, what? A four or three year old human?” You spoke, getting a little lost in thought thinking about human ages and their behaviours during it.

“Why.”

Jotaro’s voice snapped you out of it and you focused again.

“If they expect this level of intelligence from me-“ You kept your hand flat and stationary at the level of your bellybutton. “-they will tailor security measures and such around that level of intelligence. Humans like to cut corners. If they think I don’t know how to open a door, they won’t lock it.” You continued and Jotaro had his eyes narrowed at you. “So, when I suddenly show this level of intelligence-“ You moved your hand up and hovered it at the level of your neck. “-they won’t expect it and I’ll be able to get out of here while they try to figure out what happened.

Despite seemingly getting your explanation, Jotaro seemed truly revolted by the idea of buttering up the scientists.

Without another word, a frustrated rumble tumbled from his chest and he turned to the right, starting to swim away, back to his corner. But not before stopping once more and looking back at you. “Don’t let them touch you.” With that, he continued on his way.

Bringing your arm in, you held it to your chest as you watched him swim away.

- - - - 

About two days passed and during that, your communication with Jotaro had been minimal. You two more or less avoided each other - though there wasn’t any bad blood between you two.

Just now, a big slab of tuna had been lowered and - while you had planned to just wait until Jotaro was done - he seemed to have other plans. He sliced off a chunk, letting it drift down as if he didn’t notice it falling while he himself continued with what he had. Yet subtly, you could see him look at you, releasing one low click sound from deep within his chest. A non-verbal go-ahead that many leaders of a pod used; to show that it was for you.

Sending him a quick smile, you darted over and scooped up the meat from below him right before it could touch the floor. With that, you then turned around and went to the corner opposite of him. For once, Jotaro was not in his usual corner. And you were going to make full use of it by doing what you had been meaning to for the last few days.

Putting the tuna in your mouth and just holding it there, you started plucking the gigantic seaweed that grew from the bottom, slicing it at the soil with your claws until your arms were practically completely full.

Peeking your head around the pillar, you saw Jotaro still eating and thus silently yet quickly swam over to his corner.

The sand was bunched up in a small hill on one end, a deeper and bigger indent right in front of it, showing it was where Jotaro slept every night. There were some plants growing around it, but not many. None close enough that they would be able to bend in the current and annoy him as he tried to sleep at least. That was good.

Now, you knew sleeping on the sand was fine. You had been doing it yourself, even insulated and kept a little more warm because of your protective surrounding skull. And, while the heap of sand behind the dent was meant for the same purpose - to retain some body heat - you knew from experience that plants were way better at that.

So, you started placing the seaweed leaves on the sand indentation. One by one you placed them down, layering them over comfortably until it padded the entire space.

You were happy you picked a lot because you had underestimated how big Jotaro’s bedding would be, seeing he was quite massive as well.

Next came the tricky part. Getting the leaves to stick together and stay on the sand, paired with getting rid of all the prickly edges.

Opting to make sure it stayed in place first, you curled the edges of the leaves around the edge of the sand indent and buried it firmly in the grain, making sure to tuck it in well and good so that it would not let go. With that out of the way, you began chipping away at the sharp edges. 

You worked as fast as you could, wanting to be finished before Jotaro was done eating and would return here. 

Finally done with the snipping, you ran your hand across it, satisfied that there was no uncomfortable plant membrane sticking out anymore.

Onto the last step, you started with the hardest part: weaving the plants together. Cutting small incisions in the leaves with your nails, you started interlocking those cut sections, fitting them together like a puzzle until every leaf on the entire bed was interwoven.

You were almost done when you spotted movement out of the corner of your eye. Turning your head, you saw Jotaro swimming closer, a confused yet wary look on his face. 

In the blink of an eye you were already swimming away, booking it towards your skull and shooting inside with practiced ease. You were pretty sure Jotaro couldn’t fit through the mouth, so you felt relatively safe in case he got mad about you messing with his sleeping spot.

No angry sounds came however. 

- - - -

Several more days passed just like that. You had made a seaweed bed for yourself as well, stuffing it in the skull and spending quite some time digging a little further into the sand so that you would have a true little hovel. Because of this you realised the skull had no lower jaw, which allowed you to dig down into the sand, causing for even more insulation to keep yourself warm at night. Was it necessary? No. Did it feel great to sleep in a warm environment? You bet it did.

Your interaction with Jotaro was still bar to none. Although he did seem more accepting of you, no longer letting out a dangerous or angry rumble when you moved too much or splashed around a bit.

You had gone back to playing with your yellow ball, throwing it at the scientists heads - though they dodged it more easily now that their attention wasn’t divided between two tanks. Still, whenever you did hit one of them, it felt like a huge accomplishment. 

While pretending to play however, you took the opportunity to gather information. Pick up on what the scientists were saying, checking the tank walls while you were pretending to swim around as fast as you could - while in actuality you went only about half as fast. In particular, hopping up on top of the concrete column rewarded you with figuring out there were cameras in the thing. They were small, built in and probably very expensive.

So the scientists were watching your every move even if they weren’t watching.

You honestly felt terrible when you figured that out and had retreated back to your skull, not coming out for 28 hours, not even for food.

About thirteen days had passed since you first came here, and you still had no idea how to get out...

- - - -

To say the scientists of the research facility were in excited chaos and confusion that morning was an understatement. 

After nearly two weeks of no process at all with the Mer they captured - the two of them only avoiding each other as much as possible - they come in for work, only to see the two of them curled up in the male’s nest and sleeping together!?

“What the hell happened?! John! Get the footage of last night!”

“Right!” Said man immediately sprinted away to get it while the rest stayed glued to the glass, watching the two Mer as best as they could with how far away from the glass they had set up camp.

A few minutes later, John returned and they all watched with baited breath to see what happened. 

Operating the four cameras, they switched between them and fast forwarded the footage from last night until there was motion, pressing play.

“What happened that gave them a change of heart?” 

- - - -

Disturbance in the water had roused Jotaro from his sleep. 

There was absolutely nothing in this tank except for a feeble artificial water current that helped with filtering. So, to suddenly feel such jerking motions in the water could only mean that it was the other occupant of the tank.

Jotaro tried to ignore it for a bit and go back to sleep but the irregularity and violence in which you were moving meant there was no chance of that.

A little annoyed, Jotaro got up and started swimming over to the skull you had taken residence in. 

Unlike the last time you had woken him up during the night, you were not in front of it. Furrowing his brows, Jotaro turned up and swam to one of the eye sockets. Gripping the edge of it, he pulled himself closer and peered inside.

It was hard to make anything out in the dark but with the limited night vision he had, Jotaro could see your form, completely curled in on yourself on top of a bed similar to what you had made for him. 

Only, then you twitched.

Your whole body jolted for a bit, a barely audible squeak leaving you before you settled again, only for you to jolt again a few seconds later. Your face was screwed up in pain and discomfort and Jotaro let his gaze drift to your waist, seeing if you could be in pain from that, even if it should have healed for the majority of it.

It wasn’t that though. You didn’t clutch at it in pain or explicitly tried to avoid touching it. You seemed to just be having a nightmare.

For a moment Jotaro considered just leaving. You’d wake up from it eventually and would then just go back to sleep. But that thought was quickly chased away.

Not ever had he seen you so... vulnerable. And as he looked at you, something in him screamed at him to protect you. To protect you, to hold you, to keep you close and safe. Only after a few seconds of feeling his stomach twist did Jotaro realise. Wait, shit- did he just imprint on you?

Just like pups would imprint on parents, so could future mates imprint on each other. It didn’t always happen or all that often actually, but something in Jotaro told him that that was exactly what just happened. Fuck.

Stunned for a few seconds longer, it was another small whimper from you that snapped him out of it. Pushing forward, Jotaro got closer to the eye but he could soon see that he wouldn’t be able to reach you through there with his arm, you were too far to the back and he definitely wouldn’t be able to fit. Hell, he wouldn’t even be able to put both his shoulders through there, let alone his tail.

So, with no other option, Jotaro would have to fully go inside another way.

He didn’t want to invade your personal space, but what other choice did he have? With a bit of hesitation, he swam towards the entrance you had dug and looked down into it. While it was big enough for you to be a comfortable and easy fit, Jotaro would either not fit at all, or have to really squeeze.

He got up for a second and sighed. He could hardly believe he was actually gonna do this. With a little stretch of his back and tail in anticipation, he grabbed hold of the roof of the mouth of the skull. 

Lifting it out of the sand was less heavy than he had thought, most likely because of the light material of the skull, but that didn’t mean it was easy. The sand was suctioning it quite strongly but he only had to lift it a little bit to accommodate himself, not pull it out completely. 

After a few seconds of lifting it up, Jotaro released it, content to see it stayed at the same height he had put it in before he almost immediately ducked down and made his way inside.

Swimming slowly to not scare you awake even more than you probably would be, Jotaro reached where you were tucked in the corner.

“Y/N.” He softly called out your name but it didn’t do shit. With a lack of social skills or experience, and the need to do at least something, Jotaro instead just opted to grab your shoulder. “Wake up.”

In an instant, you came to life. Seeing nothing but a large form hovering over you caused an immediate fight or flight response and you grabbed at the hand on your shoulder, using your other to swipe at your attacker, only for them to grab both your wrists.

“It’s just me, calm down.” The voice of Jotaro spoke and your breath hitched in your throat. Jotaro? What? How?

Any logic was cast out of your mind as your instincts kicked in. Right as Jotaro let go of your wrists, you shot forward and clung to him. The safety that him being larger and stronger provided and the body heat he emitted the only thing playing in your barely awake mind, still half stuck in the nightmare.

Jotaro was taken aback as you wrapped around him, yet, for what felt like the first time in forever, he welcomed the contact. As he raised one arm to attempt to wrap it around you and provide more safety, he instead painfully slammed his elbow against the skull, making you squeak and cling tighter to him before realising it was not a threat and letting up a bit.

As much as Jotaro wanted to, he couldn’t stay here. This skull could barely fit him as is, let alone with another person there. 

Patting your shoulder twice, you looked up at him and Jotaro felt his heart seize at the look you gave him. You also understood what he meant however and let go of him, floating back a bit.

Placing his hand on your head, Jotaro turned with a bit of effort and swam out of the skull.

As his tail disappeared from sight, you cast your eyes down. You were so tired and barely conscious enough to keep your eyes open, yet still, going back to sleep sounded like the last thing you wanted to do.

Suddenly however, you felt your wrist being grabbed and Jotaro yanked you with him out of that skull.

Confusion riddled your sleep heavy mind and you barely had enough thought to move your tail, attempting to help swim but mostly being dragged along by Jotaro.

Before long, you two reached Jotaro’s nest and he sat down on it, pulling you a bit closer since you were practically as far away as you could be, stretched out arms and confused. When you still didn’t seem to get it, Jotaro pulled you down with him until you were pressed against him, your back to his chest as he had his arm around you from behind. His tail started curling around you until it fully encased your form, pushing under your head until you were laying it on top, as if using his tail as a pillow. 

“Sleep.” Jotaro spoke softly from right behind you, almost whispering it into your ear, making your heart skip a beat. Almost immediately after saying that, a faint and low rumble began coming from his chest, almost as if he were purring, and you could instantly feel yourself becoming less anxious.

The soft vibrations on your back together with the protective arm wrapped over you and the strong, thick tail curled around and in front of your entire body made you feel safer than you had in a long time - maybe ever. 

By now, you could barely remember your nightmare, only that it scared you to death. But even then, all those fears were slowly driven away by the comfort of Jotaro’s warmth and the protection he brought.

Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3  |  Part 4

[justathoughtfulangel]

Words I Will Never Forget ~ Kai Parker One Shot

*not my gif

Pairing: vampire!Saltzman!Reader x Heretic!Kai

Character Name: Rosalie Saltzman

This IS a reader insert fic; I just don’t like writing with Y/N in the place of names. Use Rosalie/Rose as a placeholder for Y/N :)

Requested: No

Note: Alaric and Jo are not together for the purposes of this story.

Word Count: 4,158

Description: Kai left her four years ago, claiming he'd never loved her. Even now, she can't forget him. It doesn't matter if he didn't love her; she still loved him. Unfortunately, when a heart heals, it never heals evenly.

Warnings: not edited very carefully, ANGST (I broke my own heart when writing parts of this), minor gaslighting (in a "Really? You don't love me anymore?" kinda way <3), jealousy, mature language, SMUT (18+ ONLY), Dom!Kai, possessive!Kai, Daddy kink, fingering, praise kink, blood-sharing, and unprotected sex (be safe!)

~ Four Years Ago ~

Kai’s POV:

I saw the heartbreak dawn in her eyes. Her face remained expressionless, but her irises swam with tears threatening to spill over. One stubborn droplet made it out, leaving a trail on her cheek. As it did, I kept my expression apathetic like no part of this mattered to me – like she didn’t matter to me.

It was a miracle I was still standing. That one tear had seared into me, causing more pain than I’d ever known. Then, she spoke the words that broke me - words I will never forget.

“I don’t know why I let myself think this was real, even for one moment. You never loved me, did you?”

I can’t believe she’d believe me so easily. After all the times I’d told her how I felt, my past drowned out my words. My face was still even, and I was getting dangerously close to losing all emotion again. “No.” The lie came out without a care, and I seemed bored of this conversation.

Her eyes closed, and two more teardrops followed the lead of the first. A storm was brewing inside her, and it would either destroy her or bury me alive. I’d prefer the latter. She didn’t deserve this, but I had to do it. I did it for her. Maybe she’d understand one day.

She didn’t say another word to me. She just turned around and walked away, not sparing me a glance back. I was grateful she didn’t. She would’ve seen my composure crack, and she would’ve seen someone who was listening to every word.

“Well done, Kai.”

~ Present Day ~

Rosalie’s POV:

“Thank you, Professor Saltzman!” I raised my eyebrows as I watched yet another girl bounce out of the hall after my dad’s lecture. Smirking to myself, I approached his desk. Clasping my hands together, I fluttered my lashes obnoxiously. “Thank you, Professor Saltzman. I’d love to marry you and have your babies!” Dropping the act and my ditzy expression, I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you get tired of that?”

He laughed, swinging his bag over his shoulder. “Don’t you get tired of impersonating it?” Returning his smile, I walked along with him. “Never, it’s the highlight of my week.” I wasn’t Alaric’s daughter by blood, but that meant nothing to us. I met him fifteen years ago at his first teaching job. I was in middle school, then. My parents passed in a car accident, and Mr. Saltzman had been the trusted adult I turned to. Not wanting to see me thrust into the foster system after seeing the pain children faced within it, he took me in, and we’ve been a family since.

When he became a vampire, my dad turned me too. He'd do anything to protect me, and I’d do anything to protect him. We were all we needed.

“I hope you know you’re not getting an A on that paper just because your dad is the Professor.” Shaking my head, I unlocked my car and tossed my things in the passenger seat. “No, you’re going to give me an A because it’ll be the best-researched submission you get.”

“I bet it will be. See you tomorrow?” Alaric got into his own car, giving me a quick wave goodbye. “Sure, see you tomorrow. Bye, dad.” I didn’t live with him, but we had dinner together nearly every night. Tonight was an exception. Tonight, I was going on a date. It was my first date since… well, him.

Four years later, I couldn’t even think of his name without feeling the betrayal all over again. It took me four years to agree to go out with someone else. One thousand, four hundred, and sixty-one days to even bring myself to try. The funny thing was – the date wasn’t my idea. Caroline was in her matchmaking phase again, and I was the guinea pig.

Oh well. I had to take the plunge at some point.

~

An hour and a half later, I found myself staring at my reflection in a full-length mirror. Autumn was just around the corner, and I dressed warmly. A deep green sweater dress hugged my body, my legs covered by deep black tights. A nude, plaid patterned scarf hung around my neck, and my only other accessories were a black clutch and… the bracelet.

I slipped the bracelet off of my wrist, suppressing a deep sigh. This should have been a worthless piece of junk to me by now, but it wasn’t. It was one of the last remembrances of him that I allowed myself…

With one hand covering her eyes, Kai slipped the one-of-a-kind charm bracelet onto Rosalie’s wrist with the other. Pressing a kiss to her cheek, he watched her reaction intently as her eyes fell on the Celtic Love Knot charm. “Unending love. For two vampires, it feels quite fitting, don’t you think?”

Taking the bracelet off gingerly, I held it to my chest and took a few deep breaths. He told me he had never loved me, that it was all a game for his own twisted ends. He could say what he wanted, but he’d never get to steal my memories of him. With great care, I tucked the bracelet into a protective casing and set it on my bedside table. My wrist felt bare without it, naked and uncomfortable.

Swallowing away the choked-up emotion in my throat, I smoothed out my dress and slipped on the block heels that added a few inches to my height without making my feet want to fall off by the end of the night. With perfect timing, my date knocked on the door. Caroline refused to send me a picture but claimed I’d adore him at first sight. We’ll see about that, Care.

Opening the door with a smile, I greeted him pleasantly. I don’t know about adoring him at first sight, but he was attractive, I guess? “Hi, you must be Brandon. I’m Rosalie.”

~

This was a surprisingly nice date. Brandon was – for all intents and purposes – perfect. He was charming, funny, and compassionate. He was a medical student at Whitmore along with Elena, so he was plenty intelligent, too. I tried my best to engage in conversation with him wholeheartedly, and I was faking it ‘til I made it. He was truly a catch.

He just wasn’t a catch for me. I was too far gone to care about anyone else the way I did Kai, no matter how he felt about me.

Kai’s POV:

Of all the restaurants I could have picked tonight, she had to be on a date at this very one. Rosalie was laughing and smiling and seemed to be having a grand evening. What was I doing? Sitting alone in a corner and praying her eyes didn’t land on me.

I missed her. I missed her with every fiber of my being for every second I’d been away. Seeing her now, so close yet somehow miles away, was unbearable. What was most unbearable was none of those smiles were as bright as the ones I had memorized. None of those laughs made her eyes crinkle. I didn’t know what else had happened in the last four years, but I sure hoped I wasn’t the one who’d stolen her joy from her.

Who was I kidding? Of course, I was.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her broken heart out in front of me. I’d destructed it, and I did not deserve to have it again.

Fortunately, I was never one to go after what I deserved. I went after what I wanted. What I wanted was Rosalie, and I’d get her back soon enough. There was something I had to do first.

~

Knocking on the front door of Alaric Saltzman’s door, I swallowed my fear and pride both. He opened the door, and I was surprised it wasn’t slammed in my face. “I thought I told you to never show your face around here again, Kai.”

“You did, unless I did as you asked. It’s been four years, and I haven’t killed another innocent soul. I promise you.” Alaric stepped out, glaring at me. “Why should I believe you?”

“What motivation do I have to lie? You told me to break your daughter’s heart and to only return once I could prove I’m worthy of her. What else do you want me to do?”

Rosalie’s POV:

Brandon, like the perfect gentleman he was, offered to walk me back home. He truly was the perfect guy, just not for me. When we reached my apartment complex, there was an awkward moment of silence. Normally, after a good date, it doesn’t end here. Sighing softly, I looked up at him. The moon was shining down, creating the perfect romantic moment for the wrong people.

“Listen, Brandon. You’re a wonderful person, and any girl would be very lucky to have you. I just… this will probably freak you out, but you are the first person I’ve been on a date with in four years. I believe we only get one real love, and I already found and lost mine. I can’t be what you deserve.”

Brandon took a step back, tilting his head and looking at me inquisitively. “Tell you what. You let me kiss you goodnight, and if there’s nothing there, there’s nothing there. If there’s even a slight spark, we could go out again sometime?” Laughing softly, I shrugged playfully. “Oh, why not?”

I was broken-hearted anyway. If someone had a way better way to heal it, they should come and tell me. Brandon cupped my face with one hand and pressed a kiss to my lips, testing the waters. Absolutely nothing came of it. It was pleasant, I suppose, but nothing like what a first kiss is meant to be.

“Nothing, huh?” Smiling apologetically, I nodded in agreement. “Friends?” He dramatically placed a hand over his heart, faking a fall backward. “See you around, Rosalie. I hope you find what you’re looking for again.” I watched him walk off into the night, waving goodbye until he disappeared from sight.

The second my feet passed the threshold to my apartment, my knees buckled below me. My hands covered my mouth, muffling the sobs no one would hear. I knew tonight would be painful, but not this painful. I missed him so badly. He was like this incessant disease. I’d think I was cured, but it always came back to continue to destroy me.

Why did I have to love him? Why couldn’t loving someone be a choice? What was it that made me still love him, even after he’d taken a sledgehammer to my heart? How could I still love him when I lost the ability to love anyone else?

Kai’s POV:

I’d seen every moment of that. The cute banter and the kiss. I had no right to burn with jealousy, but there was no rationale for emotion. I wanted to chase after Blake or whatever the fuck his name was and tear his head clean off. Four years I’d spent fighting off violent urges, and all it took was one innocent, meaningless kiss to set me off. I craved to chase after him, but I didn’t. There was something much more important I had to attend to.

The elevator up to Rosalie’s floor couldn’t have been slower. The sound hit my ears before I even stepped away from the metal box.

She was crying.

I didn’t expect the sound to disarm me. I was nearly crippled where I stood. Each stifled sound was finding broken pieces of my heart and shattering them further and further.

You did this. Are you happy now?

No. I may have caused this, but now, I’d do anything to make sure she never shed a tear again.

With newfound determination, I stood tall in front of her door. Laying knuckle to wood thrice, I took a deep breath. “J-just a minute.” Her shaky voice sang out from behind the door, and I heard something clinking softly. Was it… jewelry? Blinking the thoughts away, I straightened up further, aching to see Rosalie again. I’d seen her earlier tonight, but that hadn’t been enough. From now on, it would never be something I’d settle for again.

The door swung open, and even her fake smile fell at the sight of me. Before she could shut the door, I grabbed the frame, stepping in and looking at her intently. Even with her hurting eyes and wet lashes, she was the most precious woman I’d looked at. She was mine.

“What do you think you’re doing?! Get the fuck out of my apartment. Right now.” She moved to shove me out the door, and I didn’t fail to notice how she faltered once her hands touched me again. “No. You’re going to listen to me.”

“I listened to everything you had to say already, Malachai. I don’t have to listen to anything else.” Realizing she was going to get nowhere with shoving me out, Rose gave up. If she was truly angry, her teeth would be gritting together. Right now, all I heard was the erratic beating of her heart and the tiniest of whimpers. My heart threatened to crack, and no matter how hard she fought, I just wanted to hold her again.

Not yet. She had to listen first. She had to know the truth.

“If you listened to me last time, you’ll listen to me again. Perhaps I wasn’t done speaking.” I met her defiant look with a stern expression that could bring her to her knees. She must have remembered it, too, because every protest about to bubble up within her was silenced. Walking towards her, not saying another word, I watched her step backward, trying to escape me.

She couldn’t escape me. She wouldn’t escape me ever again. Her back hit the wall, then, and Rosalie had nowhere else to run.

“I lied. I lied, and you believed me so easily. Even after all the times I told you how much I love you. I will never know how you managed to dredge up the broken Kai Parker and turned him into the Malachai that was always meant to love you. How many times did you hear me say that I would not be alive without you?”

Rosalie’s POV:

Trapped between the wall and Kai’s imploring gaze, I swallowed down a sob. I was dreaming, right? This had to be a dream. That was it. Maybe I passed out crying in my bed with Kai on my mind. Yep. That’s it. I’m dreaming.

But dreams didn’t feel like this. I wouldn’t pretend like I hadn’t dreamt of Kai and what we had, yet never had I heard such words of conviction.

“I-I don’t know what to believe, Malachai.” I wanted to touch his face, to feel it and know he was standing in front of me. I didn’t dare move. Half convinced this was a dream and the other half convinced Kai was a mirage, I stood still. The only allowance I gave myself was staring into the deep blue eyes I’d never forgotten.

“So, you can believe me when I lie to you but not when I’m telling you the truth?” He was nearly glaring at me. His voice was almost angry like he was frustrated with me. “I love you, Rosalie Saltzman. I love you now, I loved you then, and I will love you even when you don’t want me to.”

His voice trembled, then, and he moved to press a searing kiss to my lips. “Stop.” He froze an inch away from my lips. I could feel his breath on my cheek as I turned my head away from him. “That’s well and good for you, Malachai. But I don’t love you anymore. I’m going to ask you to leave one more time before I throw you out.” Maneuvering myself out of his grip, I headed to the kitchen.

“Really? You don’t love me anymore? Is that why you had your first date tonight, four years after I lef- after our breakup? Is that why you’re still wearing your bracelet?” The bracelet. I’d put it back on before opening the door. I couldn’t bear to be without it any longer. Ignoring him, I ripped open a blood bag and drank ravenously. Every inch of me was burning. I wanted these feelings gone. All of them. I needed them gone.

Kai snatched the blood bag from my hand and grasped my face with the other. It didn’t hurt me in the slightest, but he had that expression in his eyes again – the one that turned me into a toy in his palm. “I love you enough to know when you are lying to me.”

Grabbing his wrist, I slapped his hand from my face. “What do you want from me, Malachai? Was it not enough to break me into a million pieces before you left? Was it not enough that I couldn’t stop loving you, no matter how much I wanted to? Why the fuck can’t you leave me alone?! Why did you have to make me love you this much?!”

He was done listening to me, then. His arms wrapped around me, crushing my body against his. His lips found mine again, complete after years. Every emotion and sensation – anger, desperation, sadness, desire, love – formed a potion and poured over us both. It ran its course, and there was no stopping it now. Kai hoisted me upwards, and my legs wrapped around his waist as if it were still second nature.

“You are mine. You have been mine and you will always be mine.” This time, the conviction in his voice didn’t frighten me one bit. I was his and he was mine. I believed him. I trusted him. I would never doubt his love for me again.

Malachai carried me over to our bed. He hovered over me, not daring to break our kiss for even a fraction of a second. His hands pinned mine above my head. “Tell me you love me. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear it.”

I did know. I knew because I dreamed of hearing it again more than I would admit. “I love you…” Sometimes, the three words were more powerful alone, without any embellishments. Here, they were in their purest form – unadulterated and unaltered.

“I love you, too.” Our lips met again, and when the kiss ended, he didn’t move away. His lips trailed lines of fire along my neck, searing me and reminding me what it meant to be his once more. He moved not like he hadn’t been with me in years; he moved like he already knew every inch of me and was simply claiming what was his.

With deliberate slowness, he removed my dress and other articles of clothing, taking the time to fold them and place them on my bedside table, highlighting that anything happening in this room tonight would happen at his command.

Kai removed his jacket and shirt then, revealing his skin to me. I almost begged to touch him. While I lay in near nudity, he was only half exposed, once again reinforcing his position.

Was he aware of my mind at this moment? Though I lay beneath him, my body in his hands, did he know how free I felt? Every touch, every teasing flick of his finger, every nibble upon my ear told me how much he loved me, and that was gift enough.

His words changed, then. No longer were they words of sweet declarations of love. They were words dripping with lust and unfulfilled desire, and I knew he had me, then. He had all of me, and he knew it, too.

“Do you remember who I am to you, baby girl?” As the words hung heavy in the air, Kai’s teeth clamped onto the waistband of my panties. His eyes never left mine, and the hunger shining in his irises set me aflame. “Yes…”

“Yes, what?” His fingers hovered over my body, desperate to touch me but waiting until he had me exactly where he wanted me. “Yes, Daddy.” His growl of approval echoed out into the room, and Daddy’s fingers finally sank into me. My hips bucked up off the bed, immediately. For so long, I’d only pleasured myself. Here he was, playing with my body like he owned it and knew exactly what to do.

His fingers pumped in and out of me in a steady rhythm, and his lips never left my torrid skin. They found heaven everywhere on me – my neck, my breasts, my stomach – all while his fingers rocked into me. “Good girl. Still so responsive for Daddy. Daddy’s so proud of you, princess.”

Both of his hands were intent on driving me to climax, and soon, his finger flicked against the center of my ecstasy. He teased my clit until it was sensitive and throbbing, ready to bring me over the edge at any second. “Do you want to cum for Daddy, baby girl?”

I was seeing stars already. My nails dug into his back, leaving ravenous marks of pleasure across him. “Yes, Daddy! Please let me cum! I need it, Daddy, please!”

Kai’s POV:

I would have normally chuckled at the state I’d gotten her in, but not tonight. Tonight, I understood more than ever that this was her love and unfounded trust in me. I would never break it again. “Cum for Daddy, princess. Cum for Daddy right now!” As I commanded her release, my fingers curled against her g-spot, massaging her orgasm out of her.

“There you go, such a good fucking girl. You can cum for Daddy as many times as you want tonight, baby. You have my permission. Just let go and let Daddy love you.” Waiting until her vision cleared up and her heart calmed a little, I sucked her juices from my fingers. She tasted just as exquisite as I remembered.

I didn’t have any more patience left in me. Scooping her up in my arms once more, I moved so that I lay just behind her. Lifting her leg to position my aching cock between her soaking pussy lips, I nibbled at her ear. “Do you want Daddy inside you, baby?”

She nodded rapidly, and I excused it for now. Tonight wasn’t about any strict rules; tonight was about finally loving her again. With tender patience, I slid inside her. My princess hadn’t slept with anyone else in these past few years, and neither had I. She was my little slice of heaven, and I was so grateful to have found it again.

“Ohhh, fucking hell. Daddy missed his princess so much.” It wasn’t just the sex I missed. Of course not. I missed everything she is and everything she will be. I missed her, every part of her. “I-I missed you, too, Daddy! I love you so much!” Gripping her face and turning it towards me, I crashed my lips to hers desperately. Our tongues danced together. No amount of closeness was close enough.

I made love to her for hours and hours, not wanting to see the sheer rapture in her eyes come to a close. As dawn began to break and we were wrapped up in each other, our mouths found each other’s necks. Sinking my teeth into her flesh, I drank from her, filling myself up with the essence of her from the inside out. She, too, craved me as much as I craved her. We wouldn’t dare let go again.

~~~

I woke around noon. Rosalie was still fast asleep, and even in sleep, she clung to me desperately, as if afraid I’d disappear. I wouldn’t disappear. I wouldn’t leave her ever again. She had me. She had everything I was and everything I would ever be. Pressing a tender kiss to her head and disengaging from her, I slipped into her kitchen. I still understood how she organized her things and found items with ease.

I had just finished setting up a breakfast tray when I heard her scream my name from the room. Dropping everything, I ran using my supernatural speed, worried beyond belief. “What happened? I’m here, Rosalie. I’m here. What’s wrong?” Whimpering softly, she crawled into my lap. I worried at the sound, taking the blanket and wrapping it around us both. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I thought you weren’t really here…” Oh. Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I swallowed back the guilt. Now was not the time. “I’m here, princess. I’m here, and I will never leave you again.”

Moments of heavy silence passed, and Rosalie continued to hug me as if I’d disappear. Then, she broke the silence, speaking words I will never forget.

“I love you, Malachai.”

~~~

That concludes yet another one of my Kai Parker One Shots! I actually flipped a coin to see if this piece would get a happy or sad ending. Thank GOD it landed on a happy ending because I think a sad ending would have destroyed me for a week. (The sad ending was that their reunion was truly a dream...)

Please feel free to send any thoughts/comments/constructive criticisms my way. I always welcome them :) If you'd like to be tagged in future Kai Parker works, feel free to message me/leave a comment here.

If you liked this story, feel free to check out my other stories from my Malachai Parker Masterlist (pinned to the top of my profile).

Until next time, JustAThoughtfulAngel <3

Taglist: @socio-kai-path1972, @bluelicious, @genevivetaylor, @prettybitchfatwitch

[rubykgrant]

noooooo I love them BOTH!

Theta is my favorite of the AI Fragments, he's such an endearing and interesting character; he represents the Trust of the Alpha AI, he's incredibly creative and ingenious, but also just plain sweet. When he get to finally really see him in the series, he's SHY. Just a tiny little hologram of a digital avatar hiding behind the leg of the person he's assigned to work with, looking like a giant by comparison... and Theta DOES help, he runs highly advanced equipment including motion-trackers and a domed energy shield for defense. Later, he helps protect another character by calculating how to use a door blown of it's hinges a shield (as an AI, he can think at "bullet speed", working with the other AI to make predictions about the world around them, and figure out how to deal with problems). He's timid, but he's also determined. Theta is impressive as an advanced and intelligent virtual being, but little aspects of his personality feel relatable to many young characters- saying "Stop talking, you'll mess me up!" when he's trying to concentrate. He gets all excited at the idea of having a pet dog. He creates digital representations for fireworks, and his own little skateboard to stand on while he listens to mission details. He shoes to big for he feet! Theta is a cinnamon roll, but also I have so much respect for this character. He's gone through literal torture and all kinds of trauma, he's been torn away from his system of AI that were meant to work together, and through it all he holds on to what makes Trust important; hope, but also the resolve to see through the difficult situations, the strength to be kind, the knowledge that there is always more to learn

Laura is amazing, as a character, but also how she came to exist; she wasn't originally from the comics like man X-Men characters. She was created for the animated series X-Men Evolution, and designed by Steven E Gordon. She's since been embraced by all of Marvel, in several comics, shows, and even movies. I still remember seeing her for the first time, while watching Evolution, when her debut episode was brand new. We see Wolverine, one of the older characters (to an incredible degree; he's been around for a WHILE) come face to face with his own clone, who does not look identical to him, is much younger than him, and has had a much different life than him... yet he still reaches out, not because of the "connection" of their similar DNA, but because he's spent so much time in this series mentoring kids. Wolverine, a gruff and war-hardened character, sees kids every day who needed help, be it protection or guidance, and he wants to offer that to this girl. Laura has never had the chance to feel like a child, she's been treated like a weapon from the beginning, and in the moment she meets the man who is the "reason" she exists, she initially rejects his offer, screaming- "I am NOT a CHILD!". He says- "Yes you are". Years later, I went to see the movie Logan with my best friend, excited to see Laura again, in a new incarnation. Her actress, Dafne Keen, expressed so much depth to this character; she was quietly fierce, a kid forced to experience struggles most adults couldn't cope with, and could explode with righteous fury when threatened... and she was also tender, wanting so very much to experience kindness, and also have the chance to be kind to others. She is indeed a child, one with potentially deadly powers, literally sharp as a knife, but still a child who has emotions that are soft and gentle

I can't vote! I can't pick! They're both the best kids! So please, everybody else; vote for the one you know and like best, but truly- they BOTH deserve to be known as wonderful characters (and I think they would be friends~)

[fatalitysficbakery]

Innocent Verdict. (Joy Struthers-Rossi x Black Fem!Reader)

Genre; Angst/Fluff.

Warnings; VOMIT, Talks of Abuse, Child Molestation, Rape, Our Corrupt Justice system that doesn’t protect black women, hotchner being a supportive dad figure, PTSD!reader (i have ptsd so i’m gonna write it how my attacks feel in my experience but everyone’s attacks won’t feel the same.), Adult adoption (Not common, but happens sometimes. this is what Aaron is to the reader, her father), yes Elle is in this. why? because in heavens bakery she never left 😍. Also- subtle hints of an age regression relationship between Joy and Reader(coping mechanism, nothing sexual ya nasties), reader has autism!

Synopsis; After an innocent verdict turns your life upside down, your wife is there to help you back up. Along with your Quantico family.

↳ ❤︎ Heaven’s Baked Goods (Masterlist) ❤︎

↳ ❝He who spares the guilty threatens the innocent❞⁣ -Legal Maxim

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

Innocent. The judge had ruled him innocent. Your mouth went dry, the scene went blurry, and you could only barely hear your wife asking if you were okay. It was hot and stuffy in the room and you felt dizzy, you needed out. Turning, you run from the courtroom before anyone has a chance to stop you, the bathroom seemed so far away, your stomach lurched— You only just made it before you spilled your guts into the nearest toilet, tears in your eyes. It was all for naught. The trauma. The abuse. You could still feel his every touch like it was seared into your skin, a memory of a sin you never asked to commit. At least— A sin is what he called it; Begging for forgiveness whilst he dealt trauma to your skin, and yet he never stopped.

The door swung open, scaring you into a corner of the stall. Another scar he’d left on you psyche— PTSD. He was coming back, he was gonna take you again, you weren’t safe, it was him, it was him; Until it wasn’t. Your wife bent down in front of you holding your inhaler, her face was his for a moment, her voice was his voice— You curled into yourself to make it stop until you heard a familiar nickname, “Bumblebee”. Your breathing finally slowed as she helped you take your inhaler and stand up. You grimaced her way and sighed, “Take me home”.

↳

Y/N Hotchner-Rossi. She’d met Joy Rossi after she’d met Aaron Hotchner, the man who’d saved and adopted her. Ever since her mother had died her step-father had turned his abuse from his wife to his only step-daughter. While his sons got his love and affection, she got abused, molested, and neglected. When she found Aaron, she was traumatized, barely a shell of a person so he took her in. He gave her the father figure she never had. He gave her the courage to stand up against her abuser and finally take him to court. But what was it all for? To see his smugness as he won one over her once again? Surely, Hotchner couldn’t predict this— He told her this would be hard, it didn’t mean she’d win but it meant she would fight, all with the help of him, the team, and Joy. Her Joy. It was puppy love the moment they’d met at a BBQ at Aaron’s— Celebrating the fact she’d got into college and moved away from her dad to her very own apartment. Joy was there with Kai, It turned out she’d gotten divorced after realizing she wasn’t into men at all. They clicked instantly and from there bloomed a friendship that turned into a lovestory no one was able to predict, not even our beloved profilers. They’d gotten married three years into their relationship when it happened— The last assault.

Y/n felt confident she could face the man now that she was no longer his daughter, he happened to be in the same coffee shop one day when she realized she couldn’t but it was too late to realize that with a gun pressed against your back. He assaulted her again in his truck, smiling and telling her it was just like old times before leaving her a shell once more. That’s when she finally took Aaron up on his offer to take the fool to court. Now it was her that felt like the biggest fool. She could see how the judge favored him from the beginning and in her gut she knew it was doomed from the start but she kept at it. She wanted to show him he had no power over her. Now she realized that he did— Or at least that’s how it felt.

“How is she”? Garcia walked up to the group of Agents, noticing that Joy and Y/n were escaping from the back of the court, fearing the cameras that would ambush them the second they walked out in the front.

“Not good. Joy’s taking her home, she had a panic attack”. Hotch looked over to his daughter, concern painted on his face. He wanted to go hug her, but he knew that right now all she needed was to go home and let this verdict sink in before picking herself back up. It was never an easy thing to do, the law had favorites and unfortunately a black woman testifying against her white step-father wasn’t one of them.

“The judge was a piece of work. We should’ve known this would happen”. Dereks jaw clenched, he was angry. You’d turned into one of his favorite people— His bestfriend, and to see the justice system fail you so badly made him want to do nothing more than turn around and tell that judge what’s what.

“I’m gonna go check on her later if either of you would like to come with me”.

JJ smiled sadly, Garcia and Elle quickly nodded and although Hotchner wanted to say ‘Hell yeah I wanna go check on my daughter’ He didn’t know if it was the best idea for a male figure to be in her face at the moment— Especially knowing of her PTSD. He remembered the first time they argued, it was something petty and silly, it wasn’t even an argument really. It was them baking a cake for Beth and Jack and they disagreed on the frosting. Hotch raised a spatula to put frosting on her nose when she’d suddenly backed away and curled into the fetal position begging him to wait because she had school the next morning and didn’t want her teachers to see the bruising, something she frequently begged her step-father to do as a teen because she knew him abusing her would happen either way.

“You guys go. I’m not sure it’s a good idea for her to be around a bunch of men right now. She has bad PTSD”.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

You were silent the entire way home and even at home you still weren’t talkative, one thing hadn’t changed though, Jordan noticed— You clung to her for comfort, looking around at everything else with an unsure paranoid glance but not her. You seemed to cling tighter, stare at her more for safety, security. Even through the midst of all the bullshit, Joy was glad she could grant you that.

“Do you wanna go upstairs and speak to Kai, Bumblebee”? Joy asked softly, standing you in front of her, a sweet inviting smile on her face to put you at ease— You nodded lightly but it seemed Kai had beaten you to it, running down the steps to greet you and Joy. Joy saw the look in your eyes and shushed Kai as you hid behind her, the footsteps triggering.

“Mama, why does Ma look so sad”? Kai asked, trying to move to hug you. Joy stopped him. Kai didn’t understand PTSD, let alone the trauma you’ve been through that would’ve made you adverse to his hugs, he knew you’d always loved them so why not now?

“Ma just needs some space right now, okay? Go wash up for dinner and you can talk to her then. Okay baby? Go wash up if you wanna spend time with ma”.

Kai’s eyes lit up; You were his favorite person, he immediately ran back upstairs to wash up, much to your discomfort, flinching, you covered your ears and Joy cringed.

“No running”! She tried to say loud enough for him to hear but soft enough not to trigger you.

“Hey, hey, hey. Come here, Bumblebee”. She turns back to you, opening her arms and you immediately take the offer to jump in them and break down into choked up sobs— Rubbing your back, Joy sighed. She didn’t know what the judge was thinking, there was piles of evidence that your step-father had done this, hell there were even videos and yet..

“Can you do something for me, Princess”?

You looked up at her with those big doe eyes she adored so much, the eyes she hated seeing the hurt and pain in— She squeezed you lightly for your comfort and hers, to reassure you but also to reassure herself, to reassure herself that you were safe and nothing could harm you with her around. That’s what it meant.

“Can you go take a relaxing bubble bath with Maxine the duck while I order dinner? I’ll get your favorite and bring up some strawberries so you can eat them in the tub and watch your favorite show on the projector— Sound good”?

Although you hadn’t talked, she was proud of you for each nod or shake of the head you gave her. It let her know you were still that strong warrior she’d fallen in love with. It let her know things would turn out fine.

↳

Joy was finally alone for a moment and able to process this, herself. She finally cried. The hurt on your face was something she hated to see and the moment you’d ran from the courtroom, her heart shattered; You looked so small and fragile curled in the corner of that bathroom stall, not recognizing her for a moment and backing away so she wouldn’t hurt you. You were so strong in her eyes. You are so strong in her eyes. You’d helped her through everything and now she’d help you. She’d be your backbone when you couldn’t stand on your own.

She was snapped out of her stupor when the doorbell rang, clearing her throat she wipes the tears away and goes to get the doorbell, having a pretty good idea who was behind it.

When she opened the door, JJ, Kate, Elle, Tara, and Garcia stood there bearing food and gifts, sad smiles on their faces.

“Can we come in”? Kate asked softly almost like she didn’t want to scare Y/n either. Everyone was cautious and for good reason, that’s what Y/n needed at the moment. Cautious.

“Uh, y-yeah of course. I just sent Y/n upstairs to take a bubble bath. She’s not talking right now but I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you guys” Stepping aside she lets them in and tries to hide her sadness and the fact she’d been crying; Unfortunately, Garcia’s expertise included tech and empathy.

“Oh, lovebug. You look like hell, I knew this would be hard on both of you so I brought something for you as well. I couldn’t find that book you wanted so I hope a knitted plushie is okay”.

Joy laughed, a genuine one. Garcia never stopped being herself, even in the roughest of moments.

“This is why we love you, Pen. Our ball of energy and sunshine” Elle chimes in, putting the sushi on the table and taking a seat. Joy looked around at all the support you had, an entire team of people that loved you, an entire family that loved you. She started crying then and there, all of the women cooing and gathering around her to give her a group hug.

↳

No one was expecting to hear Y/n’s voice for awhile, she was known to go non-verbal for periods of times after an attack and Joy usually just let her be, comforting her and being close to her, because that’s where Y/n felt safest. In Joy’s arms.

“Can I get a hug too”? Your voice croaked out, raspy from all the sobbing you’d done. The women flinched and turned to see you, opening their arms happily.

“Wouldn’t be a group hug without our beloved Bunny” Tara jokes as you walk into their arms, covered in the warmth of a group hug with some of your favorite humans.

Bunny. That made you smile. You’d been given that name the first night your dad let you meet the team, you were a bubbly person, and when overexcited you’d hop around and bounce a little— That’s when Reid dubbed you Bunny, saying that you’d acted just like one and even assigning you a breed “Harlequin rabbit” and from then on, that was your name for everyone.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

“Are you ready to go in, Bumblebee”? Joy asked, kissing the back of your hand. You were currently stood in front of your fathers house for the first time in months. Sure, you’d seen all of the Quantico men but in small doses because of the trauma you’ve been through they didn’t want to overwhelm you. Finally, one day after months of therapy and your psychiatrist suggesting it, you, Hotch, and Joy planned a barbecue, to get you back in the swing of things.

“I think I am, hold my hand the entire time”? You asked, mostly joking but Joy would do it anyway.

“Of course, mama. I’ll be right there with you, okay? If at any point you get overwhelmed just come get me and we’ll leave immediately. Understood”? She was stern with her words but you knew she was just looking out for you, protecting your peace and security. You didn’t know why it made you so emotional, but you found yourself hugging your wife tightly. She’d been your rock for 4 1/2 years now and that hadn’t changed. Your safety lie with her and so did your heart, soul, and body.

“I love you, I just- Thank you, Honeycomb. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you”.

When you pulled away, you stood on your tiptoes, pressing a short but sweet kiss to her lips; She was shocked for a moment before kissing back, you hadn’t called her Honeycomb in a bit— She didn’t realize how much she actually missed the name until she felt a tear fall from her eye. She never felt a lacking of appreciation from you, she knew with you she’d always feel loved and cared for; Even through your toughest hours, you always made sure she knew you cared. Whether it be through small touches, simple gestures, a note in her bag when she left for work, you’d always find a way.

“I, I love you too, Bumblebee. I got you, yeah? Let’s go in, people are probably worried”.

You nodded and kissed her cheek before finally opening the door, taking a deep breath because with this team? There’d always be chaos, but that’s why you loved them.

↳

When they saw you and Joy, everyone came rushing over voices overlapping each other before the booming voice of Tara stops them, “You’re gonna overwhelm the poor girl, back it up and give her some space”!

You and Joy giggled watching them frantically back away and apologize. That’s when you met the eyes of Aaron and Jack. Rushing over to your father and little brother, you hug Hotch first and then turn around to pick up Jack, “Jeez, kid. You’re getting too big for me to pick up anymore”. you pouted, booping the young boys nose before putting him down to go play with Kai who’d spent the night at their home. Too excited and impatient to wait till the next day to see them.

“Are you doing okay”? Hotch asked softly, rubbing your shoulder.

“Is it true? T-that he died”? You answered his question with another, your wife had followed you, her arms wrapping around your waist, resting her head on yours.

Aaron squeezes your hand, “He was murdered. Your 12-year-old step-brother Joshua was a victim of his after you’d left and after the verdict came out. He felt hopeless. The other three ambushed him after he’d come home drunk one night and assaulted Josh. They found Joshua unconscious and bleeding. That was the last straw for them”.

Your throat felt tight, you didn’t know what you were feeling. A strange mix of relief and sadness. Sad that your kid brother had gone through it too, he was the only brother that actually cared for you— The others would rather watch and laugh. You also felt relief, he could no longer hurt you or anyone else; The mental wounds would never fully heal, they’d scar over but at least you were safe now, at least Joshua was safe now.

“I’m just glad Joshua is safe now but…You know what sucks”? You laughed humorlessly, clutching onto your wife, your face nearly in her chest as a tear fell.

“They laughed when he did it to me”.

The team came to you, along with with the Jack and Kai. Joy held you against her, and as you cried you found yourself looking around through the blurriness of your tears and realized— This was the life you’d been dreaming of every night after your mother died and your step-father assaulted you. This was the family you envisioned, the love you fantasized of when in the clutches on the slimey monster you were forced to call dad.

Now is when you realized— Innocent Verdict or no innocent verdict. Dead or Alive. Luis Jones no longer held any power over you. You’d found your family, you’d found your way. You picked yourself up and went back to school, you worked your dream job at a doggy daycare…This was everything 10-year-old you would’ve wished for when he hovered on top of her with the face of a monster. This was all 17-year-old you would write about in her journal in the dark of that basement with nothing but a lantern light. And this? This was what 19-year-old Y/n was seeking when she’d met Aaron Hotchner. Her real dad.

↳

A family was something I’d been seeking out since my mothers death. Luis took a lot away from me, but then I looked up. I looked up at Joy Rossi. I remember Luis finding out I liked women and deciding he needed to rape the gay away. Well, Luis— You don’t hold any power in my life anymore, and I’ll make damn sure you have no power in Joshua’s.

Joy looks down at me and smiles gently, like always when she wanted to help reassure and make me feel safe; It always worked. For so, so long I never had a place to belong and now I not only have a big beautiful family but the most amazing wife. I couldn’t ask for more.

“I love you”. Joy mouths to me and I can’t help but lean up to kiss her cheek, ignoring the gentle teasing from the others, or the small ‘ews’ from from the boys.

“I love you even more”, I mouth back, and I mean it. With everything inside me, I mean it.

↳ “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

A/N: Because Joy is one of my favorite Criminal Minds minor characters.

[linkspooky]

Tall Buildings Falling Down

It’s especially important that Uraraka was the one to hear this, a hero overhwhelemd by the demands of saving people, deciding to just give up and quit his job. Important because, out of all the characters in class 1-A Uraraka is unique for two reasons. One, Uraraka is perhaps the only student in her class who admitted she’s in the hero business for the money, she joined because it’s a lucrative job. 

Second, despite the fact that Uraraka only wanted to become a hero for the money, she idolizes heroes just as much as the rest of her class does. This has led Uraraka to question herself as times, because she doesn’t believe her motivations for being a hero are as good as the rest of her classmates. 

Uraraka is also attached to the overly idealized image of heroes that was sold to the rest of her classmates, that heroes always save people, that heroes are righteous, heroes are good and everything that gets in the way of heroes is bad. Heroes are here to protect us, heroes make people happy. Uraraka carries this overly idealized image of heroes inside of her.

However, ideals always fall short of the reality. When Uraraka saw Deku struggling with all of his might, that’s when the first cracks began to appear. Because Deku, he was hurting himself even as they fight Chiaki. 

Who protects the heroes when they need protecting? I think Uraraka means this especially in regards to Deku. Being a hero is hurting Deku. Deku pushes himself to such an extent that he breaks his body over and over again. Being a hero is supposed to be a good thing, but under the current system even being a hero causes Deku to suffer because it requires so much out of him, he must continually break his body again and again in order to keep up with the others. All Deku thinks of is saving others, he’s more heroic than most, and yet, the current system isn’t designed to stop this behavior. More than anything else it’s focused on strength, on Deku learning to strengthen his quirk, not learning how to take care of himself. The system values powers over people, but Uraraka is so empathic she sees Deku as a person and notices that he’s suffering because of it. All Deku wants is to be a hero, but what is a hero under the current system? Someone strong enough to win and beat all the bad guys. 

It’s clear that in hero society, heroes are valued much more for winning, rather than saving. When saving is what is needed especially in this chapter. Uraraka sees someone who became a hero for all the wrong reasons, just giving up and quitting. In the same chapter where Uraraka’s thoughts are literally just, there must be more people, there must be more people I can save, just over and over again. 

Uraraka herself has become more and more selfless, as she’s progressed as a character, more focused on saving people especially after watching Deku push himself to such extremes in the name of saving others. However, that’s not necessarily true for the adults around her. Uraraka who began all of this by just seeing heroics as a job, sees an adult who just treats it like a job too, giving up. 

As buildings are falling down all around her, Uraraka’s idea of heroes begin to fall too. To be fair, no one person could ever deal with a disaster of this magnitude all on their own. Society’s expectations of heroes were too high in the first place, no one can be perfectly selfless all the time, the perfect savior that saved everyone that all might tried to create was never going to save everyone. However, at the same time heroes get away with a lot, because people uncritically see heroes as “good” no matter what they do, to the point where the kids rejected any and all criticism of the heroes around them. However, in this chapter after fighting with everything they had to defend those same heroes, they meet the disappointing reality. 

The same adults who brought Kaminari Denki to the battelfield when he wasn’t ready, because they weren’t strong enough to fight the evil on their own, who insisted that they needed to fight the villains in this surprise ambush and start with war. 

The same adults that told them everything would be alright, that the heroes would always win, that they would go home and go back to school after all of this are now lying dead in the ruins of the cities they failed to save. 

ANd, what are we meant to take from this? Heroes can’t save everyone, that’s obvious. Heroes are flawed and make flawed choices. However, the students in looking up to their teachers idealize them a little too much, to the point where it becomes impossible for them to accept any criticism of the heroes. 

However, the kids are starting to see that heroes aren’t perfect. Theymake mistakes. They’re flawed. The problem with the kids isn’t that they liked heroes, it’s that their ideals were completely black and white. Heroes good, villains bad. Heroes always save people. Heroes can’t ever be selfish, self-serving, or flawed as the rest of us, because well they’re heroes. 

If heroes are supposed to save people, then what about the people they don’t save? That’s the question that Himiko brings to Uraraka, however, Uraraka can’t even understand the question. In Uraraka’s idealized reality there is no situation where heroes fail to save someone. Heroes are always well-meaning. Heroes always do their best to save others. There’s nobody who’s been failed, or even hurt by heroes. Uraraka doesn’t understand that people like Himiko have been disappointed and failed by heroes over and over again, and some of them like Dabi have been outright abused. Uraraka cannot understand that the heroes that are helping her, the quirk therapy system that never hurt her, could have harmed someone so thoroughly as it did Himiko that she believes that the only way to survive is to fight back and even kill. Uraraka just hasn’t seen a reality where heroes fail to save people. In Uraraka’s world, heroes are good, heroes are selfless, heroes are kind. Himiko can’t possibly have a reason. If Himiko wants to hurt people, she must have chosen to do that on their own. If Himiko wants to hurt people then she must be a bad person.

Heroes save people, so if Himiko questions heroes, or tries to fight back against them, then Himiko is just getting in the way. Then Himiko is just being selfish. She’s putting her own needs, and her own hurt feelings over all of those innocent people that are in need of saving. See, Uraraka can’t understand that heroes can hurt people too, so she doesn’t understand that someone like Himiko who has been hurt by the heroes, by the people supposed to save her, might be in need of saving. 

Uraraka can’t perceive of a reality where heroes would disappoint, or would hurt others. So, Uraraka’s declaration is partially made in ignorance. She says that Himiko has to live with the consequences of her actions, but Uraraka at the same time isn’t living in the same reality that Himiko is. She’s been protected, sheltered so far, and her point of view comes from that fact. The same system that helped Uraraka, has also hurt Himiko, and Uraraka can’t grasp that. Uraraka first fails to save Himiko, and then this chapter she’s met with the same thing. 

Uraraka learns the harsh truth in this chapter. That not all heroes are invested in saving other people as she is. That not all of them are doing this out of the goodness of their hearts. 

If a hero can stare at this wreckage where so many innocent people are screaming for help, and then just give up. Just say, it’s too hard to save all these people. How many kids in this wreckage are going to get helped? How many are the heroes going to take care of? How many are they just going to give up on because it’s too hard? The thing is, every single kid in this broken down city could turn into another Himiko, because people aren’t good or bad. Circumstances are good and bad, they shape people in good and bad way. The same way that the children asking for help in this city are victims of circumstance, Himiko too was just another victim of circumstance, just another child that didn’t get saved. The only difference between her and the others is that she grew up and fought back. 

Heroes don’t save everyone and something needs to be done about that. Heroes aren’t perfect, however, closing your eyes to that reality and pretending they are, pretending that everything just fine means that nothing is going to change and nothing is going to improve. It’s only when the kids see the flaws in the adult heroes around them, that they can see how they as the next generation can be better than them. Go beyond plus ultra, right? If this manga is about becoming the best hero you can be. Then, the kids should be thinking about how they can save, even the ones that the adult heroes have given up on saving.