#clearly ive been curious about a few things recently

[avocadoraisin]

sorry to put this on my art blog & not keep it on my main where I usually do these but can u pls tell me what about my art makes it distinctive as mine? if anything?

(and maybe what you like the most about it? if anything? feels weird asking ngl)

like an ask/reply game of sorts

im just curious....

and thank you so much in advance <3

[paper-mario-wiki]

Hey I know your clown days are behind you and everything, but I'm still curious if you've got any opinions on The Amazing Digital Circus?

same thing everyone else does i suppose, that its fun and well made.

to be additive to the discussion instead of just saying positive stuff you've already heard, i'll levy a little critique against it, bearing in mind that i do so with positive, constructive intent.

i feel as though in recent times we've been oversaturated with stories and media with too grand a focus on the characters instead of interesting concepts. i think that the character design in the amazing digital circus is colorful and neat, but in the past 3 years how many "it's cutesy looking, but it's actually about existential terror and the cute characters go through trauma, oh no!" gimmicks have you seen in stories? personally ive seen quite a few.

i feel as though creatives are pushed too much to make a marketable face first and foremost, because lingering eyes are in high demand for artwork online these days. if someone is going to move on quick, which is going to be the case with the majority of people, it's much more likely that someone will find it easier to remember a cool design for a character instead of an entire unique sequence of events. that means story-driven things are either made to be more shallow to give more space for character moments, or have a much smaller chance for having their work succeed.

i do not think this is indicative of some mass decline in creative originality, or even the fault of the creatives who make the work. like i said, i thought it was a lot of fun and gave it a small positive review on twitter a few days ago. Gooseworx, as well as the rest of the team who made it, clearly cared for this project. what im talking about is a symptom of the larger issue that is the black-box algorithms that have desolated social networks, and create bad media consumption habits in people. though i wont lie to you and say i havent grown to resent the symptom too.

so to answer your question more succinctly, i dont really think of it that much at all. ive seen this one already.

[thoughts-and-gayers]

here's how the freaky mortys theory can still win. (aka, what i'm calling the friendly mortys theory.)

(carrying over a lot of connections made by @trucknoisettes and @glitteringcrab)

so, its no secret that evil morty tends to play up his 'mortyness' when he needs to appear innocent. most recently seen in unmortricken, where he pretends to be morty prime and the first words out of his mouth are "aw jeez".

its also no secret that morty's been ping-ponging a bit between s1/2 personality and s5/6 personality.

i posit that the moments where he's seen acting more like the cliche morty is the moments where its actually evil morty overcompensating, and the moments where he actually acts like morty prime are, yknow, morty prime.

this would, of course, require that they be swapping places off-screen throughout season 7.

or, and this is where i get full tinfoil-hat, theyve been doing it even longer than that.

while rick was off having his anime crow arc in season 5, morty was doing... something. the show doesnt really dwell on it, except mention that morty was on the citadel at some point. its entirely possible that morty got to talking with people on the citadel, maybe even making some friends. maybe one of those friends just so happened to be the president.

evil morty didnt have a clear reason to invite our rick and morty to dinner before he destroyed the citadel. i doubt that he had a soft spot for rick c-137, but maybe, just maybe, he had a soft spot for morty prime. the morty who stood up to his rick and had been complaining about being left by him only a few days ago.

obviously morty hadn't known EM's actual plan. he probably didnt know too much about EM at all. but there's no way that EM, the character who just wants to be alone, would invite a total stranger along with him out of the cfc.

but no. morty declined.

what if the second seat wasnt a toilet. what if he had built a second seat in order to take morty with him, but lied to protect his reputation.

so imagine, our morty, morty prime is reeling from everything that happened. and as horrified as he is, maybe he also understands. just a little bit.

and evil morty, he built his base, he's finally left alone, but maybe he's also a bit lonely. after all, the robot butler also clearly was programmed for conversation.

so, maybe partway through season 6, evil morty talks to morty prime. they make up. they agree to switch places on occasion. after all, morty needs a break from all the bullshit sometimes, and EM is probably curious what morty's family, and indeed rick c-137, is actually like.

and so when evil morty comes to that base where rick and morty are, morty obviously isnt going to act like they know each other. so he overcompensates just like EM can, but in the other direction.

like, come on, can you really believe that morty prime would act like that with no provocation? he may have a violent side, but it doesnt just come out of nowhere. and yes, the blood vortex was horrifying, but clearly EM isnt here to attack either of them right now.

now, if he was, say, exaggerating his dislike of EM so rick wouldnt get suspicious, then this makes a lot more sense. morty's not really a good liar! in fact, they could even be swapped right then! this seems more like what EM would say in this situation, doesnt it?

now, while i was reading @trucknoisettes unmortricken analysis, i was wondering why morty would jump from being openly hostile to EM to agreeing to temporary mind control, but if the hostility was all an act? if he already had some precedent for trusting EM? well, a whole lotta things start making sense.

so, to summarize this wild speculation:

- evil morty and morty prime have been friends since after season 5 episode 9

- at some point in season 6, evil morty made up with morty off-screen.

- after making up, the two of them started switching places on occasion throughout season 6 and 7

- morty prime's hostility to evil morty in 7.5 was an act

and perhaps ive taken a few too many liberties, but yknow. i'm here to have fun and ship evil morty x morty not make perfect sense.

[borderlinereminders]

hi aa sorry i rambled in the tags of a post i reblogged from u bc your recent posts have all resonated hardcore and they always do in a reassuring or helpful advice kinda way, but since this made me think of a few questions u might have good advice for i wanted to send an ask too (dw abt answering quickly or at all tho, i am vibing and it also helps me to reach out in general even if its just expressing stuff if ur not sure how to respond aaa)

i wanted to ask if there are resources to learn DBT skills that dont involve group and individual therapy ? either resources to help someone go through the workbook on their own or if individual therapy is ever offered for that

and if you have advice for ways to find support as an autistic adult ? ive been curious if there are support groups anywhere, ideally online bc idk if thered be any near me, bc hearing about other peoples experiences has helped me a lot recently and things have been extra hard recently w all that for me, i think i am autistic burnout mode and meltdowns have gotten often and more horrible and i feel ive learned some how to manage that for myself but it's hard and hard to find advice or people who understand this experience

so i wanted to ask about any type of support that could offer advice or reassurance for experiences like meltdowns

thank u so much, this blog gives a lot of hope and support to me ♡♡♡ you are so amazing amd people sharing advice and experiences like you do makes me feel seen and understood and reassured and less alone and more validated bc it can be hard to struggle and not know how to help yourself, but even harder to feel like it's unreasonable to struggle and ive always felt like that pretty often so it helps to know other people can relate and that there is hope even if stuff wont look the same for everyone, and i think letting go of the expectation to be like everyone else helps a lot too

thank u for the validation and reassurance and good advice always ♡

Hi anon,

Some of my favourite worksheets are on therapistaid. I’m not sure what resources to suggest to aid getting through them, but I find these worksheets to clearly lay stuff out with examples which I always find helpful!

Here’s a link!

I’m sorry I don’t have advice for the rest. Maybe some followers have ideas about finding support as an autistic adult?

Also, thanks for the kind words!

[beantothemax]

More Kurokami inbox fic time!!! This fic contains spoilers for SMT IV's third act, after the alignment lock. Anyways, here's the sole bgm for this song, I highly suggest listening to it while you read this. It's in a bit of a casual conversational tone, with no descriptions to speak of.

“Oh, it’s you. How have you been?”

“I’ve been well! I met the most helpful boy recently. You would like him.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second.”

“Mmmm…”

“So whats this song? It’s surprisingly nice for right now.”

“Angels and Demons at a very tentative peace?”

“You could say that. If what you call tentative is hard glares and booming words.”

“Can they even do that?”

“They can damn well try, I’ll say.”

“Hahahaha! I suppose so. Any ideas on who’s participating?”

“I’m sure you know the Archangels are going to be there…”

“Of course.”

“Knowing him, Metatron is going to be there as well.”

“Of course. I think I saw Flynn with him for a short while.”

“Oh really? The boy is that strong?”

“I suppose so. But it’s not really him, is it?”

“Of course not. It would be funny if it was, though.”

“What about your side? Any ideas on who you’re bringing?”

“Hmmmmm….. That’s a secret.~”

“Not going to spill the beans to me? After all we’ve been through?”

“Nah. It’s more fun to talk about Him.”

“Amen to that.”

…..

snicker

“You’re different than most demons.”

“I’m not a Demon.”

“Riiiight, and I’m an Angel of the Lord.”

“It’s hard to describe in words. You just… are. I’ve never seen a demon that cares so much for humanity. It’s kind of refreshing.”

“Too bored of the kill-maim-murder mentality?”

“You could say that.”

….

“I think it’s because you care more about humans than most demons.”

“Humanity is a precious gift and a terrible thing. They’re wonderful creatures who deserve praise, and terrible monsters who deserve contempt.”

“And I’m guessing you’ve seen the best and the worst they’ve had to offer?“

“I’m guessing you have too?”

“Haha! Of course!”

…..

“All of them were good kids, you know.”

“Oh? And what’s with the sentimentality?”

“It’s the song. Do you blame me?”

“You’re so strange. Letting your emotions get clouded by something as simple and human as music.”

“So sue me. I like a good song.”

“Jonathan had a sense of duty about him. I thought he knew how to do the right thing.”

“But then he went with the Archangels?”

“But then he went with the Archangels.”

“Flynn is a bit scattered. I don’t blame him, really. He’s been tugged around by so many people and had so much happen with so little breathing room. I’m more surprised he didn’t break like Isabeau did.”

“You know, I expected him to join the boy in opening that portal to The Expanse.”

“Maybe in another time, he did. But this time, he killed Lilith with Jonathan.”

“Oh really? That’s a shame.”

“I would think you’d be more emotional over that.”

“Please, it’ll take a while, but she’ll come back.”

“Oh really? How?”

“You know how there’s like, a billion Pixies, but a few Titania?”

“Huh.”

“Walter had a drive to him. He was determined to do his job and do it right. But he ended up letting his past define him. Leading him to you.”

“You know, you could see him again. He did a great job helping me. I’m sure he could do the same with you.”

“What gives you that impression?”

“Please, I think it’s safe to assume that you didn’t choose to do nothing but sit here in a frail human form and play sad guitar.”

“And if I did?”

“Then you’re weirder than I thought.”

“Heheh, I think you’ll find the truth much stranger than fiction.”

….

“So I assume you were here for another proposal?”

“Yep!”

“Will you join me in a world of chaos? Where the world is decided by those who deserve to rule?”

“I’m sorry, Hikaru. But I’d like to walk my own path. Not impeded by others’ ideologies. It’s how I’ve operated for a long, long, time.”

“Curious… cause I clearly remember you siding with a band of thieves against a being that felt suspiciously like Him a while back.”

“Your recollection doesn’t fail you. I just think that either end of the spectrum isn’t what any world deserves.”

“Pshhh, you're so lame.”

“I won’t try to tell you my reasoning. If you want to stop talking to me, I don’t blame you.”

“Please. I wouldn’t stop talking to you for the world. You’re far too fun.”

“Thought you said I was no fun.”

“Shut up! You know what I mean!”

…..

“I suppose I’ll be seeing you later then?”

“Mhm! Maybe we can meet here again?”

“Sure. That sounds fun.”

“Have fun with Walter.”

“I will! But you should be more concerned with Flynn.”

------------- Highlighting more differences between Luci and Kuze, mostly in their attitudes toward humanity. As well as musing on the ultimate fates of each of the kids who got wrapped up in all this. For obvious canon reasons, my Flynn picked the Neutral route, siding with neither Lucifer nor the Archangels. I could have sent another fic that takes place directly before the lock and a little before that, but I'm not sure about the quality of those, and I plan on doing some major editing to those before sending them off. Also!!! I should have told you what Alignment Lock means. Basically as soon as you reach a Point, your alignment points are evaluated by the game and you are thrust into a certain route, Chaos, Law, or Neutral. If you're curious when the lock happens, its after A Certain Group Asks you a Very Important Question. This one was titled "Asking the Question Again" in my docs and was inspired by me listening to this beautiful cover on loop.

first of all VERY nice song to have accompany this. ultrakill ost my beloved

and more luci and kuze!!!!!!!! hooray!!!!!! even through I do not always 100% understand what exactly they are talking about, just. the way you write dialogue is very nice and keeps me engaged regardless. it’s always very good :]

two funny girls sitting on a rooftop, playing guitar as they talk about demons and angels and everything in between. what more can you ask for

[gloriousmonsters]

hi!! obviously feel free to ignore, but just in case my other ask got lost i wanted to send another :) i just recently got into tgcf and have been going through various tags and i really liked reading your posts!! i was just curious to see how you view sqx's gender since rereading? the more fic ive read since finishing the book, the more surprised ive been to find that most of it (at least that ive read so far) really ignores any discussion of either gender id or having sqx be gnc or anything. like, it seems like if its a serious fic people write him in male form and if its a fun fic people write her in female form (and my/hx in female form as well, which is a whole other convo) and regardless of form its all very much adhering to expectations for whatever gender the author is writing, not really any gnc stuff. anyway! sorry, i got carried away, but i guess im really just looking for an insightful take on gnc cis sqx so that i can have some hope restored that there are people who have a nuanced take lol

hey, sorry for the late reply! I got your other ask, I just have been pretty caught up with work and other distracting things the past few days..../week. what is time

Honestly I haven't read much fic for TGCF at all and less featuring SQX, but i'm... sadly not surprised at hearing what you've mostly run into. People don't often seem to be up for any sort of complicated gender stuff on the average day, so it makes sense it wouldn't be addressed in a lot of fics, and SQX's femininity--in whatever form--being treated mostly as a 'fun' thing instead of a serious part of SQX's gender is... frustrating but again, not surprising.

It's been a bit since I last looked at TGCF, but my personal interpretation remains that SQX is a femme man, much as I view Ling Wen as a butch woman--I very much don't want to say it's not as valid or interesting to interpret either of them as trans, but for me personally both characters are most interesting to read as GNC cis characters. That's its own whole struggle, one that the issue of their worshipers essentially deciding what their gender is for them--because they don't conform to the conventions of their own--is painfully resonant with.

(I'll try not to talk more about Ling Wen more on this SQX gender post, but I'll make a last sidebar about I wish people would talk about Ling Wen's gender more in general.I barely even see people acknowledge that she HAS a male form or any of her character as it relates to her being masc/butch.)

SQX clearly enjoys wearing his female form, and it very much comes across as dressing up in clothes that really express how you feel--he's so much cuter, it's so fun to wear a female form (to such an extent that he will try to pester anyone left alone with him for five seconds into doing so, because how can you NOT ENJOY looking pretty??). But to me he never seems dysphoric about his male form--just bored and sometimes hurt by the limitations it imposes on him. Being a man isn't an issue for him, acting like a man is.

And I understand that for some people there's little difference between those things--a lot of people find their gender nonconformity means they're not that gender at all. I feel like another factor is the well-meaning anvil that got dropped a while ago of 'you can't write a stereotype, so all your queer men have to be normal macho and all your queer women have to be normal feminine' which further erased the very concept of GNC-ness, at least when it came to writing fic. I think that's one of the reasons I'm so attached to cis femme SQX--GNC characters, or even interpretations more complex than 'completely conventionally cis or binary, also conventionally (gender) trans' are thin on the ground in fandom.

(a sidebar: writing a guy as a uke-in-all-but-name is not the same as writing a guy as meaningfully gnc. like pursue your bliss and write what you want and all that, but I had the haunting suspicion that there's probably some 'gay twink that cries a lot and always bottoms' SQXs out there and i want to register that it's nooooot what i'm talking about when i talk about being gnc. WHOLE other discussion packed away inside that one. let's skip it for now)

I wish I had something more specific or insightful to say here, lol. You can enjoy looking like a woman and not be a woman. You can dislike being masculine and still be a man. SQX clearly, despite the not-cool reasons for him having it (because the implications of two gods being close, even if they were brothers, was just TOO GAY, we gotta make it straight! are their worshipers those people who genderbend just one sibling to write incest because i have some Annoyed Words for those people. Stop Making It Boring) is very attached to his female form and enjoys wearing it, and while it's not given a great deal of time, there's obviously friction between him and his brother based in the fact that, even while not wearing a female form, SQX just doesn't... act quite like a man should.

(This is pure personal interpretation/headcanon, but he often doesn't see the problem with how he's acting because he simply has an internal sense of gender that doesn't clash with looking like a woman or not acting like a man--gnc gender identity is no less deeply or completely felt than any other. It takes SWD or someone else reacting badly to remind him, ah, apparently not every man would be like this if he had the chance. Which seems fake, but ok)

if there's a conclusion, there's this--to write SQX as either a straightforward male or female character is just missing his whole point. He can be a gnc man, genderfluid, a trans woman--but whatever he is is complicated, despite how untroubled he usually seems by it all. There's tension between what he is, how he's viewed, and the limited means he has to express himself, and while that obviously can't be the point of every fic he appears in, it's always there. And cis gnc SQX remains, in the end, my favorite lens. It's unlikely, but I do hope someone got that boy a cute outfit at some point postcanon, it's the least he deserves.

[volfoss]

like... to get an idea of what all id need to do. for anyone curious ig and also to just... totally beat the allegations of yucky little beast:

survey the damage... bc shes obviously in VERY bad shape. so id need to see if i could even get her eyes out or if id maybe. need to dremel into them to get them free so i could start on faceup removal

get the eyes out. this is very scary bc of the hot glue and also the mysterious gray substance. if it IS apoxie sculpt like i think it is then good god. thats going to be the worst 7 bucks ive ever spent or smth

clean the head. im really hoping that its dirt and not.. the alternative on the forehead and other parts of the face. if it IS some mold or fungus, ive got pony experience here (as in. i have dealt with that a few times on MLP) so I'm not... too worried? My guess is its surface level grime that should go away w the faceup being removed.

attempt to remove the faceup. the paint rly looks like it goes ALL the way around her head (poor thang) so ill probably test with acetone at the back of her head. for whatever reason i feel very much like her head has to be fragile so id rather test the more strong/easy to use chemical in a lesser seen spot. i really do not want to be scrubbing with rubbing alcohol for 5 years. bc the faceup looks like at LEAST a few layers of paint with a bad sealant so (as someone whos removed two full body resin paint jobs) i know acetone would be quickest (but alcohol is safest. but we will see)

assess the damage AGAIN. i predict that she is severely yellowed (due to the cracks on the cheek) but the question of if it is either just. in those spots where the faceup cracked or if its all over is really unsure. i mainly want to get her to try retrobrighting (which ive done on older MLP with great success and it seems to be something that works for this kind of vinyl as well) on her and just. fix up a doll that is beyond repair for most people lol. from what ive experienced with resin, i think the yellowing could either be all over (and the head was painted to try and hide this. although this clearly did not go well lol, altho i think its a sealant issue and not a paint issue, as it kind of looks like when ive fucked up with MSC (a common sealant for bjds)) or it could be just... shes been in sunlight and where the paint cracked got unevenly yellowed (i experienced this most recently with my big blue boy, where all the blue paint kind of. protected his resin and the non covered parts got more yellow). so its kind of a toss up. or a mysterious third thing you never know.

once shes all clean (which i assume will take a while due to well... how bad of shape that she is in), ill probably sit with it for a few days and then get milliput and sculpt a new nose. this will not be fun for me i think because I just... am not a sculpting fan (funny thing when this project WILL have a lot of sculpting) and much prefer sanding. I'm not too mad about the chin being sanded down (as the original had an INSANELY pointed chin which I really didn't like. I hate sanding vinyl so this works for me) or the eyes being opened (other than.. having to figure out the size on my own and pray for the best). Most of the mods are not... bad to me and are partially why I'm drawn to miss yucky bc like... the diseases but also the fact that the mods do mostly make the head cuter for me

Redo the faceup. I would love to keep the elements of the original with the big eyelashes as I find them cute, but the BIGGEST order of business is eyebrows good god. I'll have to paint over the mod that I did but I'm not super worried about it (maybe falsely I've never painted a vinyl head in full bc I have exactly one vinyl doll) and then hope i can get the head right on the first try. depending on how bad the yellowing is (and if im able to retrobright her to a lighter skin tone, as the body i have is pretty light (altho it doesnt match any skins from this company so. its a whole thing its ok)) i might just paint the whole head (or even come up with a story or reason why its mismatched. I have a lot of heads and bodies like that so I don't mind fully lol). It's just kind of a scary tossup on how bad of shape everything is.

Done <3 i really dont think itll be TOO bad but i also like... think i wont know fully until i get my hands on her if i do. She would be pretty tiny too (as in 45 cm or so, or for the americans, 1.5 ft) but I do love that scale of doll so. it could work.

[thatiranianphantom]

The one where Tabitha and Reggie fix the damn thing, pt. iv

They don't leave. They can't really, because for the first few minutes, Betty and Jughead yell some fairly colorful things at them and pound against the door. Most of the more inventive threats seem to be coming from Betty, and she catches the distinctive look of fear on Reggie's face. He backs himself against the door, pressing his entire body weight against it, and motions her to do the same.

"Chop chop, Tate. I've recently learned I don't want to let baby Coop get at me, so help me out with this."

With a groan, Tabitha hauls herself against the door, wincing at the pounding she can feel on her back.

After a minute, though, the pounding stops, and they manage to sink to the diner floor. Reggie presses his ear against the door eagerly, straining to hear.

Appalled, Tabitha gives his arm a smack. "Reggie! This is their business!"

He casts her a haughty look. "Their business that I arranged. I think that buys me a listen-in. You can't say you're not curious too."

Admittedly, she is, so she heaves a sigh and presses her ear against the door.

There are shouts coming from inside, which is an oddly good sign. She hears both shouting things like "so terrible to be stuck with me" and "you gave up" and "was always going to be Archie."

And then there's something she hears clearly, and it's Betty snarling "Do you think, if I had known you were an option, it would have ever been Archie?"

It's muffled through the door, but it's still like listening in to a soap opera. There's long minutes that is just them shouting at each other, and Tabitha has never heard Jughead be so passionate about anything.

The noises eventually get further and further away, and quieter, as if the couple is moving away from the door. Exchanging a look with Reggie, they stand and press their noses against the window, figuring the two are too busy to notice right now.

Out of necessity, the window has been frosted, but they can see the outline of Betty and Jughead, foreheads pressed together, bodies shaking as if they've both been crying. It's like they're in a silent dance, locked together forever.

Reggie makes an "awww" sound, and Tabitha casts him an amused look. He looks away instantly, his cheeks reddening.

"What? Mantle the Magnifient does it again. Set it up, knocked it down."

She nudges his shoulder, more gently this time, still meeting his gaze.

"That was a nice thing you did for them. Even if having all that stuff was, just, super creepy."

"If by creepy you mean romantic, then yes."

Tabitha shakes her head, amused. "God, a lot of romance occurs in this diner."

Reggie looks at her curiously. "Et tu, Tabitha?"

This time it's her cheeks that redden. "I may have...in the moment, Jughead and I...before I knew about Betty, there may have been a kiss."

Reggie lets out a low whistle. "You and Jones?"

"Before I knew!" she insists. "I just thought he was this depressing, mildly cute guy. Who, to the best of my knowledge, was single."

Reggie snorts. "With Cooper around? Doesn't matter if they're not together, those two will always be the most taken people in the world."

She snorts in agreement. "They're intense. In more ways than one."

There's a moment of silence, then Reggie pulls away and reaches out his hand to her.

"Well, if the amount of time they spent starting into each other's eyes in the past is any indication, we've got some time. What do you say...there's got to be food somewhere around here. Have dinner with me, Tate?"

It's not even that romantic. It's Reggie Mantle. They're co-consipirators, if anything.

But there's a pounding in her stomach she doesn't really know what to do with, especially not in the face of Reggie Mantle. But she also knows she doesn't entirely hate it.

She reaches out and entwines her fingers with his. "I pick what we eat."

"Wouldn't have it any other way. But make it quick, we probably only have half an hour max before the moaning and groaning starts."

(please don't tell me to do the bughead scene from their perspective. please.)

[omegawolverine]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[jemej3m]

hi i love love love your writing! sorry if people have been asking this but ive been looking for a part three of your lawyer!andrew and neil is on trial for killing his father and I wasnt sure if I missed it or if you haven’t continued it. Just wondering thank you ❤️

well GUEsS WHAT MY FRIEND 

its here!!!

(p1 / p2)

*

Andrew didn’t like to drag things out, but the prosecution did. They always did. It was their only joy in life, especially in appeals: tease every possible fraying strand of a case till they were three weeks into the trial and the jury was dead on their feet. 

And yet, here he was, on the second day of his closing. He’d never made it to a second day: once he’d finished a closing in five minutes. 

Neil had grown progressively more antsy over the three weeks, desperate for a resolution. Every time he was scanned into court, Andrew took his favourite key and slipped it into his pocket. Every time he left to be escorted back to his temporary holding cell in Baltimore’s central policing station, he gave it back for safekeeping. Andrew would hold it, the metal still warm to the touch, the teeth of the key worn with how many times Neil would run the tips of his fingers over it. 

Professionalism, Betsy had warned him. 

But damn it all to hell: Andrew was gone. 

“Mr Minyard, if you would continue where we left off last night?” the judge drawled. Andrew could read people better than books: it wasn’t looking good. This was his last chance.

He stood up, shoved down the strange anger that had simmered beneath his skin every time the prosecution slid their pompous gazes over him, and closed his laptop. His briefcase. Put away his notes and hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his slacks. 

“Your honour,” he said, with as much grace as his perpetually bored tone allowed. “This case is beyond that of my client. That much we can all agree upon.”

He waited for an answer. 

The judge cocked her head. “Yes, Minyard.” 

“It is a gruesome story of a luckless, loveless marriage, made for the sakes of alliances and blood money. Mary Wesninski paid that price with her life, when her husband took his favourite weapon - a cleaver - to her throat. My client was 17 when that happened. He was a minor. A child.” 

He turned to the jury. “Over and over, I have rebutted the prosecution’s solitary and feeble argument that my client is Nathan Wesninski’s son. The very Nathan Wesninski who earned his name, the Butcher, through bloody campaigns and fearmongering. That Nathaniel Wesninski was destined to follow his father’s path and continue his legacy.” 

“If it weren’t for his mother, perhaps he would have,” Andrew said, rocking back on his heels. “Without intervention, there’s no doubt that Nathaniel Wesninski would have been a carbon copy of his predecessor, and just as bloodthirsty. But that man -” he pointed at Neil. “That man is not Nathaniel Wesninski. Not in the way his father wanted him to be.”

“We’ve seen the pictures of my client’s torso. The bullet wounds and gruesome knifings that he earned whilst clawing desperately to free himself from his father’s iron grasp. Worse still: we’ve seen the proof of a tormented childhood, skin torn off by a hot iron, stitches from misplaced butter knives at the dinner table when Junior, seven years old, didn’t sit still enough. A crooked nose, broken three times before he managed to escape.”

He looked to the one woman who he knew would recognise this pain, this trauma. 

“You should have no doubt in your minds that this man here, my client,” Andrew said, voice lowered down. “This man was simply fighting for his life. He was running from his worst nightmare, clawing desperately for freedom when all he’d known was pain, chains and despair. He fought against what his father wished for him, every step of the way. In self-defence, he rid the world a serial killer. A rapist. A man who had committed every atrocity known to humankind. If anything, we should be thanking him.”

The room had gone deathly quiet. 

“Ask yourselves,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Is purging the world of a monster that monstrous of a thing to do?”

He turned back to the judge. 

“My client has served his time. He’s done twice as long as he should have for manslaughter, which is the true nature of this crime. Repeatedly, my client has expressed his willingness to comply with parole measures and prove himself a functioning member of our society. If you have any humanity left within you,” 

He looked over his shoulder at Neil. The man held his gaze, blue eyes so intense that Andrew nearly lost his train of thought. 

“Any humanity at all,” he continued. The judge looked down at him, face blank. “You would grant his mother her dying wish, and finally let this injustice rest.” 

He returned to his desk. “That’s all, your honour.” 

It took her a few moments to clear her throat and call: “Court adjourned.”

Two policemen came and cuffed Neil’s hands behind his back. Andrew had done everything he could: it was out of his hands now. He mightn’t ever see Neil again, if by the afternoon the jury had decided Neil’s pleas were worthless and had him sent him right back to maximum security. 

“Thank you,” the man said, just before he was turned away. “You were amazing.” 

Andrew remained very still until the courtroom was empty. 

Now all he could do was wait.

*

“The ‘dying wish’ thing was intense,” Matt commented around a mouthful of falafel. Dan flicked a crumb off his tie, looking at him with an irritated fondness. Both of them -  Wymack too - had sat in for both days of his closing. Dan because she pretended she had any sense of authority over Andrew, Wymack because he was Andrew’s boss, and Matt because he was fatally friendly and had never missed a closing of any of his coworkers, even Andrew. 

“The whole thing was intense,” Dan grumbled. 

“I bet the sexual tension was off the charts,” Allison called out, kicked up her feet onto her desk as she ignored Renee’s unsubtle shushing. 

Andrew ignored them all. 

“We’re just waiting for the verdict?”

“We’ll be called in when the jury’s ready.” 

“It’s been two days. They’ve dragged this on long enough.” 

The phone on his desk started ringing. He shoved it against his ear and said “What.”

“Mr Minyard? This is Amy Johnston from the Post, I was just wondering if you wanted to comment on the outcome of your most recent case -”

He slammed the phone back down onto the receiver, jolting his coworkers out of their idle chatter. He was going to kill Nicky for letting the press through. His cousin was useless, and the press were even worse: there was no outcome. The jury had been silent for 2 days, and at this rate, it’d probably go into three. 

Wymack texted him. I know you’re still at the office. Go home. 

 Andrew didn’t need to be told twice. 

He careened his ludicrously expensive car into the driveway of his small home. Being a lawyer did have its perks, even if his fellows were curious busybodies and he got attached to impossible cases. He’d crack a better whisky tonight and herald in the news of him impending failure half drunk. 

He was never taking a case like this again. Of course, there was no case quite like Nathaniel Wesninski’s, but the point still remained.  

He unlocked his front door, stepped inside, and immediately stilled. 

The heater was on. 

His briefcase, blazer and tie came off, thrown haphazardly in the general direction of Andrew’s study. When he entered his kitchen, he skidded to a stop. 

“Hi,” Neil said, skin far more bronze without the gaudy orange jumpsuit. Andrew just stared. The man ducked his head down, lacing his fingers behind his back. “I - uh, I got Wymack to call you in sick for the verdict. Wanted to surprise you.” 

“You knew,” Andrew said. “You knew the outcome?”

“Of course,” Neil snorted. “Had to do something with the bloodmoney. Don’t worry, it was only two of them. The rest you had hooked.”

“I don’t know why I’m surprised,” Andrew said flatly. Neil’s grin flashed, but he was clearly way out of his depth here. Free and nervous about it. Here, because he thought that Andrew would be the only one that cared. 

And he did. For the first time, he did. 

The man gestured at his ankle. “18 months parole. It’s a bit heavy but I’ll get used to it with time, I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck, curls bouncing. “Gotta find somewhere to live, I suppose. Figure out how normal life works. I’m applying for a name change: the first random name generator on Google gave me Josten, so that’s probably what I’ll go with.”

“You’re a disaster,” Andrew managed, fighting every urge not to reach out and comb his fingers through the man’s hair. 

“What else is new?” Neil joked. 

“You said you’d go to law school.”

His eyes widened slightly. “You’re holding me to that?” 

Andrew shrugged. “It’s your life.”

“I suppose you’ll regret taking me on when I end up stealing your cases,” Neil teased, leaning a little closer. 

Andrew reached up and tugged on Neil’s collar. “I don’t believe in regret. But I sure as hell will give you the challenge.”

Neil’s lips quirked up at the side, warping his scars and making Andrew’s chest ache.

“Stay,” Andrew said, softer than he intended. 

And, now that he could choose to, Neil Josten, freshly minted and definitely real, whispered: “Okay.”

*

wow only months later did i finally figure out what i wanted from this 

srry its so short!!

[davidmann95]

Thoughts (if any) on DC's April 2021 solicitations?

Let’s take ‘em in order! I should be able to muster up a comment on just about everything one way or another.

Green Lantern #1: Oh this is gonna be bad. Heard only the worst about Thorne’s Future State: Green Lantern, and I assume Jo Mullein’s DCU debut will be wasted here to either function as some kind of ridiculous ‘popularity contest’ with Teen Lantern for who gets the bigger push, or as a way to put TL over with a few “good work kid, you got a future” comments. Also, and granted I don’t know how Morrison will end or this will begin, is the New Guardians angle being immediately dropped?

Robin #1: Dope suit, art, and premise, but it’s Williamson so I don’t care.

Batman: The Dark Knight #1: I’ll read this and I expect to like it, but between this being Kubert’s first big Batman project since Master Race, the ‘old but not quite retirement age yet’ angle, and the title, I’m concerned the shock ending here is that it’s actually a stealth DKR prequel.

The Next Batman: Second Son #1: So they really are committing here, though weird that this kinda makes Ridley’s Future State book basically a longform teaser for this. And I’ll get it as it comes out since it turns out this won’t be in that John Ridley’s Batman collection after all - sorry Dustin Nguyen, I love your stuff but I won’t buy an entire trade of material I otherwise already own just for one new story by you.

The Batman & Scooby Doo Mysteries #1: I got that whole great-looking Scooby Doo Team-Up run by Fisch for free on Comixology, I should read that sometime and see if this’ll be worth getting too as well, because it sounds like a hoot.

Challenge of the Super Sons #1: Glad people who want it are getting it, I do not care.

RWBY/Justice League #1: WILL BE GETTING A POST ALL ITS OWN

Action Comics #1030: His powers waning definitely won’t help the standard pre-run fuming by a lot of Superman fandom, but it’s an interesting pairing with PKJ apparently doing mainly cosmic Superman adventures so I’m curious where he’ll go with it. That it’s particularly cited as being tied to Death Metal might validate my suspicion that the new ‘everyone remembers their entire mainstream publishing histories’ thing will play into Johnson’s description of Clark really feeling his age at the start of the run. And Janin on covers even before he gets in on the book proper! And that Midnighter description!

Superman #30: This sounds like where Johnson’s gonna start with that worldbuilding he touted, and I’m curious; definitely reads in this instance like him shoving Clark and Jon into some swords-and-sorcery-esque territory he’s familiar with.

American Vampire 1976 #7: Not reading, don’t care.

Batman #107: I assume ‘the events at Arkham Asylum’ are the ‘A-Day’ ominously brought up in Future State solicits. Tynion Batman, Jimenez as the regular artist now, whatever the Unsanity Collective is, all entirely my shit. More importantly than any of that though, GHOSTMAKER BACKUPS. And drawn by Ricardo Lopez Ortiz, artist on Steve Orlando’s excellent The Pull! Dope!

Batman: Black & White #5: Any other issue and ‘Jamal Campbell doing a life story of Nightwing’ would probably be the highlight, but in case you somehow hadn’t heard Gillen/McKelvie are making their DC debut on a Batman vs. Riddler story here, absolutely wild.

Batman: Urban Legends #2: Even more excited for this now that I’m onboard for the Grifter and Outsiders stuff given how much those features pleasantly surprised me in Future State.

Batman/Superman #17: Injecting it isn’t enough anymore, I need to be on some kind of constant IV drip with this book. I was wondering whether it’d take the premise to further generational riffs or follow a history of mass-media Supermen and Batmen, but instead it’s veering off in a direction I never could have guessed and I couldn’t be more excited.

Batman vs. Ra’s Al Ghul #6: NOTHING CAN STOP THE ADAMSVERSE. NONE MAY DARE TRY.

Batman/Catwoman #5: Wondering how this Harley involvement plays in - I don’t imagine it’s quite what it seems given how King’s written her before. And love that Joker by Mann on the cover, major Clown at Midnight vibes.

Catwoman #30: No reason to assume this run won’t continue to rule.

Crime Syndicate #2: Dammit, I don’t think this book is going to be good, but I’m kinda tempted.

Detective Comics #1035: Wouldn’t be psyched, but Dark Detective was another pleasant surprise so I’ll give this a chance.

The Dreaming: Waking Hours #9: Again, not reading.

Far Sector #11: Sucks a little knowing we’ll never see that little ‘Young Animal’ label in the corner again after this wraps. At least it’s going out on its highest note.

The Flash #769: In a vacuum this would sound dope but I have less than no faith in this, and goddamn that’s a terrible cover.

Harley Quinn #2: I’m sure it’ll be fine, no interest.

The Joker #2: I wanna believe Tynion will be able to make this work, he keeps talking like he has more freedom on this than he has some other books, but everything about this reads like the price he has to pay for relative post-Joker War freedom on Batman.

Justice League #60: It’s Bendis/Marquez on Justice League, lots of people will complain but I’ll mostly dig it. More interested in Ram V briefly getting to write the main crew in the JLD backup.

Man-Bat #3: I’d ask why this exists - and as a matter of fact I still do - but checking out some of DC’s digital-first output recently I see Dave Wielgosz has something on the ball, so maybe he’ll be able to make this work? Perhaps I’ll check it out in trade someday if worth-of-mouth is on its side.

Nightwing #79: I maintain, this is gonna be huge. And clever move to make for how to justify Nightwing keeping up his standard way of business after Bruce loses most of his money.

Rorschach #7: A comic I will purchase and let’s continue leaving it at that.

Scooby-Doo, Where Are You? #109: DC’s highest-numbered comic (that hasn’t gone through an interim renumbering), astonishing. Not getting it myself, but respect.

Sensational Wonder Woman #2: Can’t say this sounds like my thing.

Suicide Squad #2: I’ve been swayed into checking out the Future State debut, but that’d have to really blow me away for me to follow into the main book.

Superman: Red & Blue #2: Sadly if unsurprisingly DC’s clearly not stacking this with AAA attention-grabbing names in the same way as this latest version of Batman: Black & White, but there do seem to be some interesting names from outside the usual big two roster here. And the main and Bolland cover may disappoint but holy cow that David Choe variant.

The Swamp Thing #2: I have no doubt it’ll be incredible but time and again I learn I simply don’t have it in me to care about Swamp Thing regardless of the objective quality of the effort put into him.

Sweet Tooth: The Return #6: Another one I’m not interested in.

Titans Academy #2: Oh lord so this is where they stuck Billy Batson.

Truth & Justice #3: I continue to have no idea what if anything the unifying idea of this anthology is supposed to be.

Wonder Woman #771: Wonder Woman as troubleshooter for mythological mishaps isn’t a permanently sustainable or desirable status quo but I’m down for it for as long as it lasts if it’s any good (though that Immortal Wonder Woman preview...concerned me, in spite of Jen Bartel’s jaw-dropping art).

So that’s 19-23 out of 37 I’ll be getting - if DC’s standard for success with Infinite Frontier is the proportion of their line people will be checking out, I guess it’s winning with me.

[set-phasers-to-whump]

scars and stories

prompt: scars

whumpee: nick burkhardt

fandom: grimm

hi! this fic is weirdly not very whumpy...it’s much more like...Thinking and Talking and not hardly any pain at all which is So not my brand but this is how it ended up. i hope that you like it despite the fact that, for a fic written for a whump event, it’s really not so whumpy at all lol. (title from champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends by fall out boy)

Renard has been at the hospital for six hours now. At first, it had been stressful, but he’d had company. They’d all shared in the anxiety and the fear of Nick being in the hospital - again - with a very large, very bloody stab wound in his stomach. And then a nurse had come out and they’d all stood up in unison, and he’d given them one look and taken a step back like he was worried they were going to attack him, then delivered the good news. Nick was okay, stable, and sleeping. And then the bad news - visiting hours were up. 

Renard had managed to talk his way into being allowed to stay until Nick woke up (one of the perks of being a police captain), and the rest of the group had insisted that he provide them with updates as they had made their way out the doors. They’d also half-bullied, half-begged the hospital staff to let them stop by an hour before the visiting hours resumed the following morning. 

And now, Renard is here, by himself, sitting in a chair while Nick sleeps in the hospital bed next to him. It’s odd seeing him so still, paler than normal with several small cuts and scrapes on his face and an IV in his arm and a pulse monitor on his finger. 

“He’s alright. I know you’re well aware of that, but it’s worth repeating, anyway. He’s a real fighter,” says a voice from the doorway. Renard looks up in surprise, instinctively reaching for his weapon until he realizes it’s a doctor. In fact, it’s the doctor who is responsible for stitching Nick back up. He relaxes, slightly sheepish, and lets the man continue.

“He’ll have another new scar to add to the collection, though it’ll hardly be his worst. I have to say, I’m…well, impressed sure isn’t the right word, but…I’ve worked on plenty of cops before. Your detective here has more scars than any of the others, and I’ve operated on lifelong officers, thirty year veterans, the works. Detective Burkhardt has them all beat.”

Renard doesn’t know what to say in response to that. It’s not surprising that his young detective - young Grimm - has scars - he’s been shot and stabbed and in countless fights, and frankly he’d be more surprised if Nick didn’t have scars. It’s more the fact that he apparently has so many - enough to impress a doctor who creates scars for a living. 

And what’s more, Renard realizes, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen any of these supposed scars. Nick is virtually always wearing long sleeves and pants, and his face and hands have somehow avoided being badly hurt. 

Before he can do too much more thinking on the fact that he’s worked with Nick for years and never seen any of his scars that he can recall, the doctor says, “I’ll be on shift until four, if you need anything.” He leaves the room, giving Renard a wave goodbye, and then he’s alone again.

Renard gives Nick another once-over. He still looks as pale and vulnerable as before, and his right arm is poking out from under the blanket with an IV sticking into the skin. He doesn’t want to touch the arm and risk pulling the needle out, so he instead carefully untucks Nick’s left arm from the blankets. Just to see if the doctor had really been telling the truth (though there’s not any reason for him to have lied). 

There are a couple of scrapes, clearly from this most recent fight, and a few small, faded scars. Most of them are short, thin. Grazes from knives, maybe. There’s one near the inside of his elbow that looks like a bite. He’s about to push up the sleeve of the hospital gown, where he can just see the edge of what looks like something jagged and deep and painful on Nick’s upper arm, when Nick moves and makes a soft noise, and he quickly pulls away before Nick can wake up and ask him what exactly he’s doing. 

Nick wakes up slowly, blinking around and looking down at himself and the hospital bed, clearly completely confused. He winces softly as he sits up, putting a hand to the spot on his stomach where Renard knows several fresh stitches are holding him together.

“What…?” he asks, voice soft and scratchy, as his eyes finally land on Renard. 

“You were stabbed,” Renard reminds him. He passes over a small cup of water that had been left for him by a nurse at some point. “You lost quite a bit of blood. You were in surgery for awhile, and you’ve been asleep for the past few hours.”

“Oh.” Nick looks at him with a kind of questioning expression, and Renard pretty easily works out what it means. 

“It’s the middle of the night. The hospital staff allowed me to stay, as a police captain, but visiting hours are long over.”

There’s a look of…surprise, mixed with something like gratitude, on Nick’s face. 

“Why?”

Renard shrugs. “It’s confusing enough waking up from surgery after being stabbed. And more confusing if you’re completely alone.”

Nick hums softly in response, his eyes starting to close. Renard doesn’t want to keep him awake, but he is also a bit curious, and his detective is…uninhibited, thanks to the pain medicine he’s currently on, and he may not get a chance to ask again. So he goes for it.

“The doctor who operated on you told me you have more scars than anyone he’s ever seen.”

That wakes Nick up. His eyes open fully, and make contact with Renard’s. “What?”

“I’ve just…never seen them. You’re always wearing long sleeves, and we’re not exactly the kind of people to talk about…anything like this.”

Nick shrugs like it doesn’t matter at all. “Yeah, I’ve got scars. Part of the job.”

“Which job?”

“Both, I guess. Mostly the Grimm stuff. Y’know, my Aunt Marie was covered in scars. I never knew until a doctor told me, when she was here, before she…”

Scars run in Nick’s family, Renard realizes. Physical, emotional…being a Grimm takes its toll over the course of a life. Has already taken its toll on the man in front of him, who has only been a Grimm for a few short years. 

“How bad are they? The scars.”

Another shrug. “Some are big. Mostly they’re small. I don’t know, I don’t pay much attention to them.” Nick looks down when he says this, his left hand picking at the edge of the blanket. “Guess this will be one of the big ones.”

“It will,” Renard agrees, matter-of-fact. The injury itself had been bad, deep and long and jagged, and he’s sure the new scar, right across Nick’s stomach, will serve as a very prominent reminder of this particular event. (He’s also pretty sure it won’t be the only scar - getting stabbed tends to leave more than one kind of mark, but that’s a talk for another time). 

“Do you have any scars?”

Renard shrugs, not entirely surprised that the conversation is now turning towards him. “A few. Mostly from my time serving as an officer. One or two from Wesen-related incidents. Nothing close to what you have, though.”

“It is kind of a lot, isn’t it?” Nick asks, and he sounds as though he’s never really thought about this before. As though he’s always accepted this - this pain, these scars - as something that is simply a part of his life. The thought makes Renard equal parts angry and sad, and he looks away from Nick for a moment and decides to change the topic of conversation to something a bit lighter. He’s hounded Nick with enough questions for now, he decides (though he also decides that they will be picking this topic up again at a later date).

“How’s your -” he starts, looking back at Nick. Who has fallen asleep again, still pale and not himself, but peaceful, now, too. “Never mind,” he finishes. Lighter topics of conversation can wait.

Renard stands from his seat by the bed, and before he can think the better of it, reaches out and pulls the blanket tightly around Nick, tucking his left arm back beneath it. He lightly touches the side of Nick’s face. “Sleep well,” he says softly, then sinks back into his chair and waits for the morning to arrive. 

thanks for reading! hope you liked this despite it being not my usual sorta thing lmao. anyway i wanted to write this when i rewatched the first couple eps and a doctor asks nick if he knows about aunt marie’s scars. it got me thinking like, nick should have scars too what with all the shit he’s had happen to him. so i decided to write it and give him some :) may revisit this concept later...who knows.

[luminashdawnwing]

Trading Favors (Part IV)

Part I, II, III

(Note: The story thus far takes place between the opening of Revendreth and the end of the leveling story)

Luminash had ample time to take in the rugged - he could not call it beauty necessarily, though it had its grandeur nonetheless - crags and valleys of the Ember Ward while he waited on the Sinfall overlook. His companions, Nelyne and Grigori, had gone below with the chest of sinstones they had pilfered from the house of Lord Bloodwatch. Evidently, he was not permitted entry just yet, something about the Prince - word was that he had only recently been snatched back to safety from the Maw itself! - and his favored preparing some great endeavor.

The Light that beat down upon the land and all who dwelled there felt, in its essence, the same as that of the Sunwell. A sense of warmth, yes, but there was something else: a distinct sense of wrath, of righteous indignation that made what should have offered hope and solace an oppressive burden, even to the magister himself. He found himself squinting, blinded not only by the Light, but by its reflection off the bleached, dusty canyons below.

Sinfall, in comparison, was positively dreary, at least what he had seen of it. The Ember Court had no doubt been impressive once, but it was now merely a ruin, crumbled and nearly forgotten. Only a few lingering Venthyr measured their steps among the ruins, shaded by their ornate black parasols. They moved quickly and with purpose, clearly none too eager to be in this Light-blasted place.

He was broken from his reflection on his surroundings by the crunching of footsteps behind him. It was a curious mixture of boots on cobblestone and the grinding of soles on coarse pebbles, the Light-scorched soil blown all about by the winds of the valley and gathering even here.

“Follow, magister,” came Grigori’s voice, an aristocratic tone spoken much through the nose, “That is what you said you were on our way here, no?” He did not wait for a response, knowing full well his question scarcely required one, “Nelyne is still below with the Prince. All will be departing soon, but before that, we may have information you might find useful for your…” The Venthyr waved his hand vaguely, a gesture Luminash himself chuckled at, so commonly did he do the same, “Ah, trading deal with the Brokers.”

Turning and falling in behind Grigori, Luminash raised a brow, curiosity piqued, “And what might this information be? If you have a decent idea on how to both obtain a Maldraxxi phylactery and the wing of an Ascended of all things without finding myself tossed into the Maw, please, do share.”

Grigori turned over his shoulder to look sidelong at the elf trailing him as he spoke, cool and calm, “I can, in fact, share that information. You have come to the Shadowlands at quite an eventful time. The word is from Oribos that Maldraxxus and Bastion are at war of all things! Though I am unsure how accurate this statement is. Some of those visiting the Eternal City seem intent on little more than sightseeing.” The Venthyr cleared his throat, “Regardless, the Houses are at odds, with the Houses of Constructs and Rituals making some sort of alliance. Gossip is that one has made away with the bodies of many fallen Ascended, the other… Well, I need not spell it out.” He narrowed his eyes, their golden glow reduced to a thin line, “Or so I hope.”

As the magister listened, he grew visibly more relieved, “So a trip to Maldraxxus is in order.”

“It would seem so. Then, however, it would be...pleasing to us,” Grigori added, his voice dripping in thinly-veiled sarcasm, “If you were to return and join us here. Though the Prince and his loyal Harvesters will be away, the Accuser has a request of you.”

The magister followed Grigori down a series of stone-hewn, unspeakably ancient steps, down away from the Light that beat down much as the sun at summer’s height. The air here was blessedly cool.

“I should specify, for the...uninitiated.” Grigori permitted himself a brief bark of laughter, “The Accuser is Prince Renathal’s right hand, the Harvester of Pride. She wrings the souls of our charges dry of their hubris and redeems them.” A pause, “Or they are torn apart, or cast into the Maw, unrepentant, but this is - was - rare. Now?”

“They are yet more fuel for the fires of the Maw, aren’t they?”

The Venthyr nodded, “Just so. They are cast in without a fair chance to save themselves, to change. That is who we are, magister, we are the changed.” He held out his left hand, as if feeling the weight of something, “Crushed under our crimes, our selfishness, we are brought here.” His right hand now, giving him much the appearance of a scale, “In the end, we are cleansed, freed from the burdens of our past - do not tell those insufferably smug Kyrian a Venthyr said such a thing! - and serve in our way, here or elsewhere.”

“The Accuser, then, has need of these souls. I think I know where you are going with this, Grigori.”

“Indeed.” The Venthyr stopped at a curtained alcove in the crypt-like hall winding down into Sinfall’s depths and waited for Luminash to arrive before drawing back the curtain and ushering him inside, “And we believe that the item you aim to procure from the Brokers may help us find them again - them, and perhaps a few of these as well.” Within the alcove was the chest of sinstones recovered from the Bloodwatch estate. It appeared to be emptier than before, many of the fragments having been removed, it seemed.

“The true names of your resistance, have I remembered correctly?” Luminash slid into the room, followed by Grigori, who let the curtain fall behind them.

“These? No. Those we have already removed and hidden for ourselves. These are names unknown to any of us here in Sinfall. Which begs the question of whose, precisely, they are. Given Ivan’s desire to weed out traitors to our fool of a Master,” Grigori positively sneered as that title left his lips, his eyes just short of a derisive roll, “We’ve our suspicions.”

Luminash rested a hand on the lip of the chest, head canted as his eyes skimmed over the sinstones, their names, and especially - with a morbid curiosity - their crimes. A multitude of crimes, lifetimes upon lifetimes of hubris, “Who are they?”

“The way the Accuser sees it, and I see no fault with her reasoning, is that they are the Avowed. Those loyal to Revendreth’s heart, our ideals, who continue to cleanse and redeem the souls entrusted to us.” Grigori leaned against the cold stone wall, clawed fingers drumming against it.

“Yet you disagree?”

“I never said that!” The Venthyr snapped, shaking his head, “Ah, no, I do not disagree exactly, only think it might be that - or another possibility - or both, even.” He pursed his lips, “I knew Ivan once, long ago. An arrogant fool, obsessed with his own standing, a perfect image of everything now going wrong with Revendreth. He was never loyal to the Master. He was loyal to himself.”

Luminash’s lips curled into a smirk, “And so he had a bank of blackmail against the Master’s loyalists too, didn’t he? Which may just conveniently give us - or you, I should say; I’ve agreed to nothing of yet - a list.”

“Sinstones are linked inextricably to the soul of those whose crimes they bear, and if your Broker device can follow, as you say, the strands of anima…” Grigori shrugged, eyes following Luminash’s hands as they ran along the damaged sinstones, “Then a list, as you say. You can tell, I do hope, what one might wish to do with either our Avowed allies or our loyalist enemies.”

While they spoke, Luminash felt as if a stone had dropped into his stomach. His eyes had caught a name etched into one of the stones, and the hand that had been so idly running along their broken edges stopped. In barely enough time for the magister to take in what was carved into the stone, with movement so fast he could scarcely react to pull his hand away, the chest was snapped shut, Grigori looming over him. He could not be sure, but Luminash thought he saw a hint of fear in the Venthyr’s eyes.

“Go to Maldraxxus, complete your deal with those charlatans. Then return, if you see fit. Know, though, that what we offer may be the greatest use of your skills, and the broker bauble of yours, that you will find here, hm?” Grigori met Luminash’s eyes, whatever passed for fear replaced once more by a calm, measured gaze.

                                           **************************

In his hand, Luminash turned the relic of the First Ones over, again and again, its delicately carved geometric insets pressing against the magister’s palms. A dagger traded, Cartel Ta’s damage control done, the door was his, yet the key remained. An excursion to Maldraxxus, a delivery to Ba’net in Bastion, and that too would be his. With the proper scrying, it might well be a door directly to all the souls lost in the Nazmir muck, a lifeline, a blessed tether that might bring them if not back to their families, at least to where their proper afterlives.

On the other hand, the Venthyr certainly could use the aid, Luminash knew. Souls in need of redemption lost to the darkness was a worthy cause, especially as the Master’s loyalists bolstered themselves against what passed for resistance at Sinfall.

Or could it even be a more personal obligation? Luminash felt the weight of the stone pressing against his palm, fingers tracing the honeycomb geometry. There had been the matter of that final sinstone and its crimes, its words seen but for a brief moment burned all the same into the magister’s mind:

A researcher whose instruments charted the skies and the stars of the Great Dark, he advanced the cause of his science and all knowledge. Knowledge everywhere is power, and power was his true reward.

Honorable and honest in all his public dealings, his name became a byword among his peers for unwavering character. In private, his unblemished word was replaced with a bloodied dagger, leaving none left to question him.

Dedicated to his family, his keen political mind led his family to the heights of power and prestige. Loyal beyond all else to his Queen and his legacy, in her name he sent his family hurtling from the heights into the abyss.

Scholar; brute.

A man worthy of trust; a knife in the back.

Loving father; traitor.

For his intellect, his virtue, and his service, he deserves redemption. For his avarice, wrath, and pride he has come to us. Let these be washed away and let him be made anew.

Lanestrian Dawnwing.

[villainess-noble-girl]

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Title: Second-Year Valentine's Day

Author: meiberry

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12852677/1/Second-Year-Valentine-s-Day

Fandom: Kenkyo Kenjitsu

Pairing: EnjouXReika

Photo: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/67148847

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

"No. I'm not going to take it. It's going to make me sleepy. Plus it tastes like soap."

The muffled voice of Yukino came from beneath the covers. The IV drip tube poked out from the ball of sheets in the hospital bed.

Shuusuke sighed at his little brother's stubborn actions. Good thing he came prepared for this. "Yukino. Kisshouin-san wrote you a letter."

The ball of sheets shifted, and Yukino's head popped out from beneath the covers, his doe peering up at Enjou in surprise. "...Reika-oneesama?"

Shuusuke held up a small pink envelope with "Yukino-kun" written in neat handwriting in the center. Yukino reached for it when Shuusuke swept it back out of reach with a gentle smile.

"..." Sullenly, Yukino obediently drank the medicine. Watching as he finished it, Shuusuke patted his head and handed him a glass of water with a piece of candy to take care of the medicine's bitter aftertaste. Yukino popped the candy in his mouth with one hand and eagerly held out the other, looking up at Shuusuke expectantly. Shuusuke handed him the letter and watched as his little brother opened it earnestly.

In the beginning, Shuusuke was pretty surprised to see him get along so well with an older girl. Usually, Yukino was not so nice. He was a really smart kid for his young age, and many older girls had been trapped by his soft, harmless facade only to be humiliated and insulted beyond repair. But recently, Shuusuke found that with Kisshouin, Yukino seemed to genuinely act like his appearance.

Shuusuke could see why. Kisshouin clearly didn't have any ulterior motives when speaking to Yukino. Older girls usually saw Yukino as a means to an end. If they weren't patronizing then they were obsequious, obviously trying to use the younger brother to get to the older one. But when it came to Kisshouin… if anything, it was as if her treatment of the two brothers was reversed. In the ten years of knowing her, the very first time that Kisshouin started a one-on-one conversation with Shuusuke that lasted longer than one minute happened to be because Yukino. It was a dreadfully humbling experience. Yukino has sure put up with a lot these past few years.

In any case, no matter how devilish he was to other people, in the end, Yukino really was still a little boy, and Shuusuke was simply grateful that he was able to be just a normal, cute kid with someone, even if it was a girl who clearly didn't put Shuusuke in her eyes.

He watched peacefully as his little brother's eyes happily flew across the letter.

"Kisshouin-san really cares about Yukino."

Yukino shot a glance over at him, "What? Is oniisama jealous?" And then he continued reading his letter.

"And don't think that I don't realize you told her to write this to make me obediently stay in the hospital."

Shuusuke smiled wryly. When he could tell Yukino was finished reading, he continued, "Well, Yukino seems to really like Kisshouin-san. I thought maybe you would listen if she asked you personally."

Yukino smiled, happy from finishing Kisshouin's letter. "Yeah, I do like her. Reika-oneesama is really nice and she's not just pretending. Do you want to read it, oniisama? I'll let you read it, since you asked her to write this for me. I'm going to the bathroom."

Yukino handed the letter to Shuusuke as he climbed out of bed and grabbed at his drip stand to roll it into the bathroom in the room.

Shuusuke blinked at the letter in his hands. Although he didn't ask to read it, he was honestly pretty curious. What did she say to Yukino to cheer him up, anyways?

The letter was not very long, and it fit neatly on the cute stationary decorated with little birds and vines.

Yukino-kun,

Enjou-sama told me that you are admitted to the hospital. I am worried for your health. Your family must be even more worried than me. I hope you take care of your body because many people care about you very much, and we want for you to quickly become well again. With that said, I hope you listen to the doctor so that you can leave the hospital soon. I know that sometimes it is really hard to do something you don't like. But experts have their reasons for their advice.

Recently I have been learning to make desserts from a friend. To be honest, my dessert-making skill is much farther behind my cooking. I think I know what to do when I try to be creative and individual with my own ideas, but actually, my friend tells me that the greatest mistake in baking is not following from the recipe. This is completely different from cooking, where not following the recipe is not that big of a deal. When I listened to my friend, I made a dessert more delicious than anything I'd ever made in my life! I realized at that moment, ah, so that is the difference between a normal person and an expert. With that said, I hope you understand the importance of listening to experts such as your doctor.

When you come back, you'll be able to see your other friends and me in the Petite Pivoine salon again.

Wishing you a quick recovery,

Kisshouin Reika

By the time Yukino returned from the bathroom, Shuusuke had already finished reading the letter and had set it on the tray over the foot of Yukino's bed.

"So, what did you think of Kisshouin-san's letter? Are you going to listen to her when she asks to you listen to to doctor's advice?"

"I guess." Yukino sat at the foot of the bed and picked up the letter again, folding it and carefully putting it back in its envelope before he flopped back into bed, pulling the covers over himself. "The way she asks me to listen to the doctor is just less irritating than when you ask me to listen to the doctor."

Shuusuke helped put the covers over Yukino.

"I wonder why Reika-oneesama is learning to make desserts." Yukino looked at Shuusuke, his eyes widening. "Valentine's Day is coming up, isn't it? I wonder what Reika-oneesama is making…"

"Hmm. Who knows."

"I wonder if she's learning to bake something for the person she likes..."

"Hmm. Who knows."

Yukino's eyes widened like big dark marbles as he looked at Shuusuke.

"You're curious, too, aren't you oniisama? Ne, ne, what kinds of sweets has oniisama received from Reika-oneesama on Valentine's day?"

"Actually, I've never received anything from Kisshouin-san on Valentine's Day."

"Ehhhhh!"

Shuusuke thought about how in the ten years since he's known Kisshouin Reika, she has never given anyone Valentine's chocolates. Year after year, the whole school secretly held its breath in wonder at who the Goddess Kali of Suiran would afflict with her attentions. And year after year the answer was an anti-climatic… nobody.

Kisshouin Reika never gave anybody at Suiran chocolates for Valentine's day. Him and Masaya were not excluded.

Ah, wait, that's not right. Last year she gave courtesy chocolates to the student council president. In fact, Shuusuke was the one who pointed this out to Masaya... Even though she had done it in secret, for Kisshouin Reika to give chocolates to a guy at Suiran was no small matter and in the end the word leaked anyways. Because she had done it pretty secretively, there were no massive rumours, but the thing about secrets was that they always spread. Shuusuke heard about it from the more low-key sources.

Back then, he had remembered how she seemed to have had a crush on the same student council president back in middle school, but nothing had happened even after all these years. For nothing to have happened all this time, what other conclusion was it other than unrequited love? He hinted at this story of camaraderie to Masaya in hopes of inspiring him to move on with his life. Unrequited love was not the end of the world. Just look at Kisshouin-san.

Who knew that the whole thing would have worked out so beautifully at graduation. Tomoe Senju actually had a girlfriend! And he called Kisshouin Reika a sister in front of everybody. Masaya was so moved by Kisshouin's composure and courage. Shuusuke felt like he was watching Masaya watch a romance movie. Out of all the times that he's taken advantage of Kisshouin, Shuusuke felt most proud about the way that one turned out. Witnessing the way Kisshouin "handled" the student council president's "public rejection" totally inspired Masaya and brought him back from depression. He completely recovered from Yurie's rejection after that.

Yukino's marble eyes seemed to glitter in wonder as he looked up at the handsome young man sitting beside the bed.

"Wow, even though every year it seems like you get chocolates from every single girl we know, there is actually one girl who has never given you any chocolates… not even once! Hehhh..."

Yukino did not look or sound sympathetic at all with the the corner of his lips twitching upwards.

"That reminds me... when we first met and I introduced myself, Reika-oneesama made a 'geh!' face when she heard my name, like she was really saddened to hear that Oniisama was my oniisama... I thought that maybe she hated you!"

"Hmm. I sure hope Kisshouin-san doesn't hate me. But if she does hate me, then that's unfortunate."

"No, no. I don't think Reika-oneesama hates you, Oniisama! She probably doesn't even think about you at all."

"..." Shuusuke's expression remained serene as he stayed silent.

Yukino looked at his face and suddenly giggled. Shuusuke joined in with a few chuckles. For a short moment, they laughed together.

"Ahahaha…"

"Hahaha…"

"..."

"..."

Yukino turned over in bed. "Don't worry, oniisama. Maybe one day Reika-oneesama will also remember to give you chocolates, too."

"..."

"Oh yeah, oniisama, could you find me something to write with? I want to write Reika-oneesama a reply."

"...Alright. I'll go find you some paper."

The next morning, Shuusuke thanked Kisshouin for her letter to Yukino. She looked really happy that it helped. Yeah, it was really useful. She was pretty humble.

"Yukino said that it was fun to read about making sweets."

"I could only think of unimportant things to say… well..."

Hm, there it was. Shuusuke could always hear the instant whenever it sounded like Kisshouin was trying to wrap up a conversation and escape. Usually, he'd just let her go. But for some reason, he didn't feel like it this time. The words Yukino said yesterday skipped around his mind, reviving an old and annoying itch.

"So Kisshouin-san is making sweets. Could it be that on Valentine's day..."

"Umm…" He watched as Kisshouin's eyes lowered, her cheeks blushing very lightly. He could imagine her cheeks must have been warm to the touch now. "Yes..."

"Hn."

It'd be a lie to say that he never expected any chocolates from Kisshouin Reika. It wasn't to say that he wanted her chocolates or anything like that. In fact, the idea of actually eating Kisshouin Reika's handmade sweets seemed like something that belonged to the realms of extreme adventures and chemically dangerous thrill-seeking. Although, whether or not Reika's chocolates are edible, Shuusuke wouldn't want to eat them anyways, as he didn't have a sweet tooth, but...

...He still expected to get them.

It was about logic. If a girl knew Enjou Shuusuke, then she would give him chocolates on Valentine's day. (The same applied to Kaburagi Masaya.) Three of five of chocolates would be honmei. That was the rule. He knew it was a very unique and extraordinary rule. Certainly not every boy in the world had the ridiculous privilege of receiving a mountain of chocolates and sweets from all the girls he knew. But, that was his experience.

In accordance with his life experience, it was natural to expect chocolates from a girl he knew when he's always received chocolates from every girl he knew. With no exceptions.

Except this one.

[transhawks]

I would love to hear your thoughts about the recent chapter!! All day I’ve been wondering how much of what Hawks said to Twice was the truth, why he was thinking about Endeavor during their conversation and where his mission will go from here. I’m really curious about your take on it all if you don’t mind!

I. What Just Happened?

Hawks betrayed the League using Twice. Not will betray. Betrayed. Now, he was already listening out for a hospital; remember that text? But Twice, admitting it was very poor judgment of him, told him Shigaraki is in Kyoto. He admitted it with the bugs on so Skeptic absolutely knows Hawks knows where Shigaraki is. In a sense, this could very well be a trap; Twice could have been told to test Hawks.Either way, Hawks won’t know for certain - he spilled, clearly. The students are evacuating the mountain where Shigaraki’s current hospital is located because the Heroes are making the first move. This is a preemptive strike, and Hawks even acknowledges that unless they make it, they’re doomed when the League acts.

This also means Hawks is pretty much exposed, if I’m reading correctly. This was his betrayal, his ultimate reveal, I hope. He has lived up to the prophecy in his name.

II. The Truthteller

I love, for someone whose first name can be translated “truthteller”, since his first appearance Hawks has made us doubt the verity of his words. Not only us, but basically everyone in the story. It’s a permanent part of him; the double-meanings, the questions of ‘is he serious’ or ‘is he being truthful’. How much is a mask? How much is real?

The thing is, I don’t think Hawks has lied at all. His truths are just complicated things. He can think Twice is a good person and yet betray his trust because Hawks doesn’t think of himself as a good person. Or a kind-hearted person. He isn’t allowed to be and why be kind-hearted.

Hawks himself recognizes one truth; you don’t have to be good to do good, and just because he is a hero doesn’t mean he is a good person. In fact, being a good person is a liability to him. A good person would have refused to kill Jeanist for the mission. A good person would have put up a fight about such an infiltration in the first place. 

Twice is a good person, let’s ignore that he has killed people for a moment. The narrative makes him a very clear victim of society, traumatized and marginalized for it. He is a victim of his circumstances but is hopeful, uncynical, and full of love and acceptance. He might not understand things but want to do well; he wanted to inspire his unit even if Twice didn’t really get what would inspire.

To people like Hawks, Twice’s goodness makes him weak. I know that sounds monstrous, damning even, but it’s one of Hawks’s flaws. People are there to be used. He feels guilt over it, and that’s a good sign. He felt guilt over using Enji, clearly over Jeanist, and now Twice. However that’s not enough - he was raised to ignore these things. Twice’s openness was a weakness to be exploited and Hawks is natural exploiter. In some ways this is a conscious decision and on the other, I don’t think he can function otherwise.

The commission raised him to be like this. 

III. What is ‘Free’?

And yet… the guilt remains. And other things, no matter what, Hawks’s life-defining moment had been the rescue as a child. He is, by all of our narrative, the hero that wants to save. Heroism is saving to him. People like Twice are ‘weak’, but when Hawks isn’t using weakness, he feels obligated to protect and save the weak. 

What this means is he doesn’t feel good about it. He feels trapped by this pull to respond humanely to this person who trusts him, who is so loving against all reason, and giving his heart on his sleeve, and knowing he’s expected to rip that heart to shreds. He does it all in favor of the hero system BUT! BUT! Look at how much he’s learning about the resentment. The PLF has dozens of thousands of people; these aren’t just a few disgruntled people. There’s a huge fatal flaw here.

Now, even before this Hawks felt trapped by his duties, by his life as a hero. He feels beholden to his rank, to his organization, to his abilities, to help others and yet now runs into this idea that maybe he might be hurting more than helping.

What this means is that the pieces are there for Hawks to change his thinking. He’s notice the resentment, he knows he wants to fly free but doesn’t think he can (yet) because there’s so much more he wants to do, and is currently on a path of doing terrible things (by his own admission) because he’s been told that it is right thing to do. 

So what happens when he starts thinking that the right thing to do in the wrong way…isn’t right? What happens when his main reason for not flying free dissipates? 

IV. Tipping Point | False Idols

As much as in trouble Hawks is right now, with the League, I highly doubt this is the end of him. I think he’s about to get his foundations shattered. 

Endeavor is Hawks’s driving force for heroism. There are many reasons as to why he is - one is admiration of the kind of masculine power fantasy of strength and safety that Endeavor projects, one is the fact the man doesn’t quit striving to be better and is determined with a sort of feeling that Hawks doesn’t have. 

Another guess would be that Endeavor, more than anything, always projected a picture of having it all. He was intensely private about his life but the top searches for him in manga do involve his children. He was so close to the top, but where All Might remained a symbol, Endeavor’s fatal flaw was that he seems human and flawed to Japan.And yet Hawks desires that most of all. The freedom to have a life, the freedom to be human and not a hero, or maybe be both, like Endeavor. Knowing nothing about what happened in the Todoroki household, it’s probably goals to Hawks. “This man is tireless, has the most completed cases, and yet still has a family. A wife, kids.”

Hawks doesn’t have a family from what we can guess. As of 258, the reason we have a thief named Takami arrested by Endeavor is unclear. It’s likely this is a relative. Personally, I’ve always maintained Hawks seeing Endeavor as father figure in his youth, mostly due not having one or being failed by his own. Maybe to a young Hawks, Endeavor looked like the perfect father. 

Hawks is an adult now, and can look at Endeavor critically, but it doesn’t mean those feelings faded. That old admiration and yearning to be like him, even if he knows he isn’t meant to, is still there (just like Hawks can’t fully discard the part of him that *uses* Enji and thinks less of him for allowing himself to be used).

What this means is that so much of Hawks’s desires tie in with a lot of childhood dreams of what Endeavor might have meant to him. And we, as readers, know how much of that built is on a lie. Endeavor gave up immediately, he did horrible inhumane things to a woman and his children for decades, all in the name of being ‘better than’, not even a better hero.

Hawks doesn’t know. Maybe he has guesses but I don’t think Hawks knows about his family life.

I think the reveal will be deeply shocking, enough to put those pieces into place. The resentment to his own circumstances, the resentment of the public to heroism, the commission wanting to keep the status quo and Hawks having to choose if the status quo is worth defending at all.

We’re in a crossroads with him. Hawks’s time as a victim with no autonomy is up - he has to start making decisions about where he’s going to go. I can’t say anything is for certain, but I do think he’s headed for moral revelations. I just hope it’s not too late to right his current wrongs.

[heartwoodventures]

Primary Access Required: Run, Rabbit, Run

Aislinn made her way into the room, giving a wordless nod of greeting to those already gathered. She zeroed in on a chair and sat slowly and stiffly down onto it, letting go a breath as she did so.

Alexi took a glance around as he came down the stairs. "Oh! So there are others around. I was beginning to wonder."

Aislinn lifted her gaze to the Hrothgar as he appeared at the edge of the room. "Aye. Here and there. As I understand it, there's to be a meeting shortly." she said, her subdued voice barely carrying across the way.

Alexi quirks a brow and leans against the door frame, arms folding. "A meeting? What about?"

Haila glanced back to nod in greeting towards Alexi. "A discussion of a not so recent expedition that one of our members organized. But I'll wait for the news to be given more officially in a few moments."

From where he sat on the couch, Mivo'to flickered his eyes, his red companion finally coming to rest atop his waist after a handful of stern glances. "Business as ever. 'Twould seem Heartwood is not to be offered reprise by the Twelve."

Aislinn nodded, glad to let someone else do the talking.

"As much as I wished to call this business the usual... 'Tis not anymore. Not after the near endless time I had with our little mechanical guests to figure out more. But once more, time to wait just a tiny bit for those coming." Haila explained, sighing as she reached for a small canteen on her side to open and take a few sips. Of what, only she knew.

Alexi Grenasch: "Either way, I've been looking for M'shara. She left the Bozjan front before me by quite a while and I had hoped to find her upon my return this morning. She wasn't at her home, so I decided to just wait here for her."

Mivo'to offered a single blink before the Hrothgar's ponderance, his still expression drifting to the slumbering rodent atop his legs. Nary a twitch pulled at his lips, thoughts drifting elsewhere as he offered an idle scratch to the Panda.

Aislinn's gaze skated away from Alexi, also avoiding his words. She just didn't have it in her to say more.

Rising Lotus was mostly watching the fish swim about as she sat  on the counter before the tank, she wasn't quite sure what the latest had been with the whole situation as of late.

Once more, Haila's ears twitched, this time at the sudden sound of the front door bursting open. She stood quickly and rushed to the lobby to check. Upon seeing Altani out of breath on the floor, she went to her side, gently tapping the Viera on the shoulder as if to let her know that they were there.

Alexi sat up straight, his ears perking up at the sound from the other room! With a grunt, he stood and followed...

Mivo'to followed the attention of his Panda as its eyes snapped to the thunder of the door, swiftly exiting from its brief slumber as it scampered forth. "Twelve's name..." He murmured softly, chasing after the inquisitive beast - Only to grind to a halt upon the scene.

Altani rolled onto her back curling her fist into a ball smacking herself on her chest another loud cough coming out of her, she stayed silent for a moment before sitting up glancing to the crowd facing her, she never did much like crowds and now it only made her feel even worse as she tried to speak up "W-We...Shite...W-We went l-look for Vanriri..." Whatever she was trying to say it clearly wasn't easy as she choked up looking down at her thighs.

N'yami ears flicked as her ruby gaze turned towards the Viera who came bursting through the door, pushing herself off the pillar the Seeker turned to see what was going on. Why was Altani out of breath? The hell's happened? The confusion was clear on Yami's face, maybe she needed to come around the house more to keep up with everything.

Aislinn pulled herself to her feet, her expression blank as she followed in the others' wake.

Rising Lotus followed suit, wanting to see the commotion her self, and it felt kind weird to just be sitting there alone.

Mivo'to Laaski twisted his figure around, eyes falling upon the recently vacated study. With a raised finger, the Keeper would gesture forth, ears flapping through the air. "Pray, might we make arrangement for the Miss? She is clearly in a state of shock." He spoke, attention trailing to and fro between the trio and their newly arrived Viera. "I shall fetch water - Poor Miss is probably running on naught but willpower."

Haila Wetyios 's expression turned rather grim, so the news she'd suspected and found data on were probably about to be confirmed. She looked up towards Mivo'to and nodded. "Aye, bring some water quick. And you, take a breath first... We'll need you to tell us what happened with a clear head."

Aislinn stared at Mivo'to a moment, as if it was taking her time to process his words. Then, with an inhalation of breath, she pushed herself forward towards the Viera. "Can you stand? Do you want to come sit down?" she asked with perfunctory calm, eyes moving critically over the woman, looking for any glaring injuries.

Alexi just stood back, letting clearer heads and more careful hands tend to the woman. He just watched. He'd been waiting all morning for M'shara after he'd returned and been told she'd gone out to help someone. Now, he was getting a bad feeling from this new arrival...

Altani shook her head after a few moments, listening to reason for once she tried to simply breath, but as Aislinn spoke to her she gave a light shrug "I-Im fine...j-just-" She coughed again her throat was probably akin to a desert at the moment, but at a glance she seemed to be fine more or less, her boots were caked in mud and her clothes were drenched as she reached up pulling her goggles down around her neck, a clear ring of dust and grime surrounding her eyes "N-Not good news ive got..."

"Aye... Such seems to be the only thing that comes through these doors these days. Here, can you stand?" Haila offered a hand to the woman, then nodded towards the library." I think everyone present needs to hear what you've been through." she added, still looking intently at the Viera.

Rising Lotus inched in a bit closer to hear the woman speak, keeping enough distance where she wouldn't be in the way. She had only spoke with Haila breifly about the whole big thing they were dealing with early in the week, so she was curious what the latest was.

Aislinn's lips twitch downward at that. The only sign of any sort of expression at all. Haila was right, and though Aislinn had no idea what news Altani brought she could only wonder how many hits Heartwood would be required to take. Awkwardly, she pulled herself back to her feet, trying to be mindful of her injuries that were still on the mend. "Aye. She's right." Looking over her shoulder, she saw that Mivo'to had reappeared and made way for him.

Mivo'to reemerged after sometime, a swooshing wooden tankard clasped tightly between his palms. "Apologies, apologies, nary a clean mug in this-" He rambled, taking a plunging step forth to present the tankard of water before the Viera. "Easy does it, my Lady, easy does..."

Altani glanced away from the gaze but she took the hand shakily standing slowly pushing most of her weight onto Halia slowly wandering wherever Haila took her, but at the sight of the tankard she didnt wait a moment before grabbing it from Mivo'to chugging it down in seconds not even thinking as she dropped it the the floor "O-M-My bad..."

The uncanny speed at which the tankard had been down at least brought Haila a brief smirk. Altani didn't seem injured, that was enough for her. "Don't worry about it. Come along.." she said, leading the Viera back into the library area for her to take a seat.

Aislinn trailed after them and returned to her seat, watching Altani with a note of trepidation. She knew she had best steel herself for whatever was coming next. Mivo'to positioned themself far from the scene, arms folding upon his chest as an askewed gaze met the two Viera.

Alexi was the last to follow, taking his previous spot against the door frame. His tail tip still flicked harshly back and forth, telling of his anxiousness.

Altani let out a quiet sigh, knowing everyone's eyes were on her as she leaned back, she new it was pointless to beat around the bust so she simply let it out "...Vanriri, M-M'shara a-and...G'lewra were all...taken by the u-uh..the spider shites....allagan things...a-ate em or something...?" She didnt really know how it worked or what the hells she'd seen "T-Think they arent dead though like...ate em weirdly...pulled em into its guts with lie...m-metal tendrils or something..."

Haila nodded slowly as Altani spoke, even opting to cross her arms as she leaned absentmindedly against the couch, piecing together Altani's tale in her mind. "It took them then." she merely commented, waiting for the rest to process what had been just said before sharing what she knew.

Mivo'to lifted a brow, lips parting as an ever concerned breath passed between his fangs. 'Ate', was it? He had little knowledge on their machinations, but such a description can hardly mean anything pleasent. "Miss Haila? Any trace of what she may be describing?" He questioned, turning to their resident expert.

Aislinn tensed as she stared at Altani. So that's where G'lewra had gone. Rushing headlong after Vanriri. She shot a glance to Haila, recalling the dissection they had previously performed. "Wonder if that's what the thing's blasted cavity is for. Hauling people."

"I wouldn't put it past it's design. Who knows, maybe one of Dellont's projects for the future was to design a creature that could carry the injured back into safety like that.." Haila then shook her head some, clearly the woman had disdain for all these machinations. "How twisted can something get from it's original intention? But then again, it wouldn't have any Allagan in it if didn't do that..."

N'yami's tail tip flicked and her eyes narrowed into slits, the corner of her mouth twitched as if wanting to curl into a snarl but she controlled herself. She wasn't mad at the Viera but mad that the allagan bastards had taken those precious to her.

"They're eatin' folks now? Wern't they jus'..." Rising Lotus twirled her hand around as she tried to remember "Drainin' em before?" she shifted a bit at the thought of being eaten by one of those things, shuddering a bit.

"They were probably secured after being stunned." Haila explained as she heard her name being called, then glanced over to Altani. "Did they all fall in combat? Or was something shot akin to a lightning shard that made them fall and unable to move? Or did you see anything like I described?"

"Mayhaps it is a method of entrapment, Lady Lotus. A means to save them for a later date?" Mivo'to offered.

"I 'spose they are spiders...sorta...an' real ones do that too, web 'em up an' all." Rising Lotus replied.

"I can only fathom why - Least they are in need of a sudden surge of aether." Mivo'to paused, a chill creeping upon his neck as a shudder passed over his shoulders, head shaking to and fro as he turned centerward. "I would rather not ponder the possibilities of such a cause..."

Alexi tensed as soon as he heard M'shara's name. His lips peeled back slightly and every exhale of breath carried the low rumble of a growl. His gaze flicked between Altani and Haila. "Took them? Took them where?"

Altani nodded softly at Halia "They seemed to be uh...sleepin I guess, was to busy running and all to look...but uh...they were headed for Coerthas...n-now that im im thinkin about it..." She shook her head for a moment "W-well...honestly think its was a trap...soon as we found Vanriri they were on us..." She cursed herself, in hindsight it seemed so obvious to her that it was some sort of trap she'd done similar in the past now she was falling for the same trick.

Haila nodded once more, then looked down at the ground for a few moments. Where to even start? First, she looked up at Alexi, the one who probably needed the most answers now. "So the team that G'lewra assembled a bit recklessly didn't go too well... As far as we know, those creatures prey on any that have a gift for magic. So no doubt they had a field day.." she told him before looking back over to the group. "I won't bash G'lewra for going off like this, she must have had a plan to be tracked---at least... But are we all in agreement that no groups will be formed to go after them unless we have a clear countermeasure to their stun shots and the hordes in which they come?"

Mivo'to pursed a bottom lip, fangs pressing softly into its purplish flesh. It was clear the Miqo'te was in thought, off-colored eyes raging with one another as Haila's words echoed upon his pointed ears. Sit back? How could they? Every hour, every minute might very well stand as the last, a fate let pass. "I doubt we can sit idly by. I have no intention of rushing headlong, but surely there are measures that can be taken now - Learn our enemy's weakness, locate where our friends are kept."

"It does seem out of character for her, to be so reckless." Aislinn allowed. She didn't really need time to consider Haila's words, to her mind it was just logical. She nodded in agreement with the Viera. "I think that only makes sense." she turned her attention to Mivo'to. "Most of us recall rushing headlong into a fight not too long ago with no idea what we were dealing with. We'll work fast, but we need a plan." she told him.

Rising Lotus nodded, as much as she was generally all for jumping head first into danger, a whole swarm of was a bit out of her comfort zone, and Haila knew what she was talking afterall. "Before they only went after folks that used uh, healin' magic right? Or mostly seemed, so does that mean they've gotten a bigger...appetite?

Alexi calmed somewhat as Haila gave him her brief explanation, his fangs retracted though that growl in his tone of voice persisted. He gave a slight nod to Haila. "Agreed. We wouldn't want to walk into another trap..." he said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Though I WILL be assisting in the rescue effort. And anything else I can do to help prepare, I will."

N'yami kept her mouth shut as she listened but not only was her mother taken but so were her friends, her tail flicked behind her as plans started form in her head and what she could possibly do to save those that were taken. She would need to go track down her husband after this.

"We won't stand idly no, but at least it would be better to have countermeasures. At least a suit that is impervious to their stuns or a disruptor of the signal they all exchange." Haila commented, looking over to the Miqo'te. "If no one was drained of their aether there and then like the bodies reported around Coerthas, we can assume everyone that was taken is needed alive at the very least."

Altani stayed silent for a few moments as she recalled what all had happened, she then recalled something G'lewra had said "They did somethin odd, they just ignored me, as if I was a rock in the middle of a river they just went around me, even if I was fightin think its the only reason im here right now...but Lewra said it was my lack of mis-er Aether...?" She didn't seem so sure of herself as she finished speaking "Maybe...could send some of us...non spell casters lovers in to scout around...?"

Mivo'to offered a silent glance upon the room, an idle hand draping free of his chest, and upon his hilt, squeezing upon its worn, sturdy pommel. "Would it be unfounded to say your previous specimen has provided all it may, Lady Haila? Such a scouting party could also look to procuring another - Preferably intact."

"If that's the case, that they just flat out ignore those with lower registers of aether, then that might be best." Aislinn sighed. "As it is, I only have one aether dampener prototype ready to go."

"It's...given me quite a lot of data yes. We currently have three in our posession, two that I've almost finished fixing, and one intact. But they're all rather small." Haila informed them. At Aislinn's new information though, she glanced between her and Mivo'to. "While I would be opposed to you trying to find one by yourself given that you can be a target for them as well Mivo.. If you had a way of cloaking some of your aether, that would change things. A medium sized one would come in handy right now. Even if to establish a stronger connection to their base."

"How do you capture such things, aside from jus' smashin' 'em. Is there some way to jus' turn them off?" Rising Lotus asked.

Mivo'to trailed his gaze between the studious Haila and Aislinn, a faint hum occupying his throat. One, two, three blinks before he parted his lips, a rush of air passing between them. "Have you any means of baiting such contraptions out?" He questioned, furthering a nod to Rising's own inquiry.

N'yami raised her hand. "Can use me as bait." She said speaking up for the first time since the meeting started. "I have a lot of aether but it's not exactly aether they'd want to get their hands on."

Aislinn considered that a moment. "I would think a large discharge of aether in the area of Coerthas we know them to be should do it." she mused. "If the party is made up of those of a less magical bent, crystals might work." she stopped and looked over at N'yami. "Ahh...even better."

"As far as I'm concerned... Only aether draws them out, and they seem to be expanding territory too. Unles..." Haila trailed off, ears perking at a reckless idea that didn't seem too bad anymore. "Unless you use the smallest spider in our posession to send a signal to bring in a bigger one. You'd need to be aware of where their territory ends, but it could work. As for disabling them, while I don't have full access to this scientist's signals, the core is allagan, faking a signal from their original creators could work."

Haila glanced over to the volunteer for baiting. Her gaze softened a bit with a glint of worry. "You must be G'lewra's daughter right?... If only our reasons to meet were brighter than this..."

"An' if that don't work at least we could jus' break it's legs off, probably not too much important in those right?" Rising Lotus nodded confidently at her idea, cocking her head a bit as she thought it through a bit more. "..Though they could probably still call for it's friends if the main part is still squirmin'. Only if the first part don't work then."

Altani got a rather dumb idea but she spoke up anyway "Could get a uh, cage split it in half stick on of you in one side and the spider thing in then other? Dunno how strong the cage would have to be though." Alt shrugged lightly glancing around the room "Dunno about the things calling for its friends though...suppose just have to be faster then them? Or could bring a carriage?"

Alexi was doing his best to follow along, just listening to what the others were proposing. "Hm... if you already have specimins, broken or not, why do you need another? How will it get us into their lair to free the others?"

"'Twoud be a swift operation, nary a Ilm for failure. It would serve well if both our 'bait' and our poacher be familiar with Coerthea's terran - Or, at the very least, capable of quickly traversing the snow." Mivo'to openly pondered, flickering his attention to Altani. "Aye, holding a party in reserve would be in good order - Provide a swift getaway, and ensure the path is clear." The Keeper agreed.

"Probably wonderin' how in the hells someone so gentle and well spoken ended up with me as a kid." N'yami sighed softly to more or less collect her thoughts. "But yea, I'm her daughter, but from what you and the Old man has said these things detect aether and they go for ones with large amounts of it. If I can get a decent sized one to come after me I should be able to lock it down."

Haila nodded towards N'yami, "Aye, that would be of great help." she said to her before turning over to Alexi. "Because I need a bigger one to test their abilities... And because I may be able to snatch more data from their creator from here already." she explained, clearly reluctant as she stepped forward and opened up her strange tome as she set it down in the middle of the room. Holograms and formulas coming to life as very blurry images started to project among a constant flickering. The images in question being brief sights of doors and tubes, yet their contents were too blurred to see, one would say it wasn't even enough to call it proof of their friend's whereabouts. "I managed to get this from the smaller ones, but I can't clear the images or any recordings yet... There's also unfinished words encrypted, but I need more data to decipher them."

Alexi stepped closer as the display lit up, resting his hands on the back of the sofa and leaning forward to try and see better. He breathed a sigh as it all seemed to sink in. "Apologies, this is all quite new to me... So, we don't even know where they've been taken, other than somewhere in Coerthus?"

As Aislinn watched the flickering images a furrow formed between her brows. She couldn't be sure of what it was she was looking at. "Are these...visual recordings from the bioweapons? ...spiders. Old footage of their return point?"

Rising Lotus watched all the information float around, eyes darting around from image to image but not really understanding much of it.

"I'd say recordings, or images exchanged with the other ones. But we might be able to see where they go if we snatch a more intact and bigger one. Their signal reaches so far that even from here I can catch small bits of it. But yes, all we know so far is that it's somewhere in Coerthas, and a tad deep into that land at that." Haila said.

Alexi takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly to try and calm himself. As much as he wished it wasn't so, this plan was their only chance. "Sorry to interupt. My worry seems to be getting the better of me. Please, continue."

Altani squinted at the floating images, not really being able to make much sense of any of it she simply listened along whatever it was from the sounds of it it was promising, trying to not let herself fall asleep as her exhaustion caught up with her

Mivo'to trailed his eyes through the rough visuals, lips parting in a silent murmur, seemingly in a deep reflection with himself as he made note of what he may - Which, admittedly, was hardly much.

Aislinn nodded. "Alright, so if I'm understanding this, we need another one of those bioweap...spiders in order to collect more data and pinpoint where our members were taken. Then, the plan is to send in a team made up of non-spell casters on a rescue mission?" she asked for clarification. Just to be sure she was following all of this. Admittedly, she hadn't been her best lately.

"You've all the right to feel like that. I just wish I had more answers for now. But the images I got are very little right now." Haila said, nodding once as she waved her hand at the images, some of the clearer ones coming into view. There was a clear vision of a snake in one, and another one showed wings, and then a random scalekin that you could find anywhere in the land. "Tis the plan I can offer, at least for now. Lest I choose a more reckless option."

Aislinn made a low, uneasy noise in the back of her throat. "Well, let's try not so reckless first."

"I doubt we are short of volunteers for our first undertaking...Tis only a matter of who we choose to send." Mivo'to said.

Rising Lotus looked to Aisllinn "An' like you said, we only got one uh...anti...magic...thing, that we can use. Shouldn't be too hard to choose the non-magic folks, it's jus' that one we need to be considerin' a bit more."

"It wouldn't hurt to have a backup group watching over those that go and try to bait too..." Haila added

"Of course, I volunteer. Aside from ammunition imbuement, I've little in the way of aetheric skills or magick." Alexi spoke up.

Aislinn looked over at Rising. "Aye. Just the one. And like anything having to do with aether, it comes with a price. Can't get something for nothing. In this case, it'll dampen a person's signature but in return casting anything is that much harder. Like wearing weights." she paused. "But if it's needed, we have it."

"So you or N'yami could do it then..." Haila said, trailing off.

"Makes sense...Jus' like usin' armor I guess." Rising turned her attention back to Haila. "I can help out too, I'm used to travelin' over there, an' I ain't ever really done much magic ever."

Mivo'to curled his digits across the hilt of his blade, a rhythmic 'slip' sounding as he idly removed and insert the blade from its sheath. "Should you be in need of a soul to physically render the target null, I would like to volunteer. Familiar enough with those snow-touched wastes to make a swift departure."

Haila glanced between the two new volunteers. "That would be good then.. I'll have a device ready to try and disable the spider, at least on a small scale. I doubt it is possible to down the whole horde unless it's a direct command from their creator." she sighed. "I wished I could be of help there, but all I can do is give the tools. Lest we give that mad man more reasons to toy with Heartwood." "Probably goes without sayin, but well I can help, figure I can just scout around or whatever's needed, done a few jobs in the area so I’m a little familiar." Altani said.

"You also were the last person that saw how far they've reached into the Shroud if I'm not wrong. Drawing a small map of the route G'lewra's group did could help, as well as noting down where any report of dead bodies has taken place." Haila noted as she nodded once more. "I won't accompany you, so I believe you all who wish to go should decide on the roles each one will play. All that I ask is that no one is reckless and to withdraw immediately if more than one spider shows up."

"We've a plan, and we have our players." Mivo'to said, a previously lost spark returning to their tone as they lifted their arms, a closed fist punching into an open palm. "Let's get our girls."

Haila couldn't help but smirk a bit. "Aye, time to get everyone back safe and sound."

Alexi grunted and gave a nod to Mivo'to, then looked around to the others. "Agreed. Our friends must come home."

Rising Lotus grinned at Mivo's enthusiasm. "Aye, we'll get them back in no time, an' squash any of them things that stand in our way!"

"But I do get the ok if a large group of those spider things come that I get to at least blow up a few, yea? Don't worry I'll make sure the large one stays safe." N'yami asked.

"As long as you don't let them overwhelm you. Or get anywhere close enough to shoot a stun bullet at you, I won't complain. A whole horde coming at you isn't pretty, and I wouldn't doubt that the man behind this would still go for someone with aether related to one of his captives."

"Might be smart to have someone high up watching over everything, so if a horde of em shows we know before theyre all over us." Altani said.

Aislinn gave a single nod of her head. She turned to pass N'yami a look over her shoulder. "Before you go, the prototype is on your mother's desk." her gaze faltered a moment. "Just... cuff it to your wrist. The stone will take care of the rest."

N'yami offered a small nod. "I'll be sure to grab it, if any of ya need me I'll be in my shop off in the Goblet."

"When do we leave? Tonight? First thing come morning?" Alexi asked, eager to get moving.

"I'd say first thing in the morning. Give Altani some time to rest at least." Haila said, nodding towards the half dozing Viera. "The quicker the better, but as always, don't rush in, that goes for everyone involved."

"Agreed." Aislinn added firmly.

"Plenty an hour for rest - With such an undertaking, I would do well we all approach as alert as we may be. Our present optimism can turn head in a mere moment." Mivo'to nodded.

Alexi gave a nod and a grunt. "Then I'll be staying here to be as prepared as I can be for the morning."

Haila nodded "There's a few guestrooms open, and more than enough supplies to stock up on before leaving."

"If no one has much to share, I'd say we're set for now. I may need to find an extra hand on Allagan work though if anyone has any good contacts to put to use..."

"I can take ya to the Old Man one of these suns, he's been workin' on one of those spiders as well and he's been researchin' allagan for gods knows how long." N'yami offered.

Haila Wetyios blinked in surprise. "Please do... Two or three heads are better than one, especially when this is getting more and more personal with each loss."

If Altani had much to say she wasnt going to be saying much as she slumped over on the couch a low snore could be heard as she dozed off.

"Pray, if I may trouble you for your notes later this evening, Lady Haila. I would much prefer to know the workings of a contraption I will be so 'intimately' close to." Mivo'to asked.

Haila nodded, "I'll be sure to pass them onto you as soon as I can."

Alexi huffed out a breath. "If that's it then, I'm going to retire for the evening. I'll be in one of the guest rooms if anyone wants to go over strategy."

Mivo'to nodded, adjusting his coat. "May Twelve grant you their blessing - Heavens know we will be needing it."

N'yami pushed herself off the wall and gave a small stretch. "I'm gonna head back to the Goblet, if any of ya need weapons to pierce through the metal those things are made of give me a call and I'll work on somethin' for ya."

Rising Lotus looked to be mulling something over during the tail end of their meeting, but seemed to shake off whatever she was thinking of. "Tomorrow then, spider catchin'. Spose I ought to make suer everything is in workin' order."

Alexi quirked a brow at N'yami. "Are their hides any tougher than Garlean steel? Because I have no problem with that."

N'yami grinned. "In my shop there is, ya wanna come to the shop? I got extra beds so ya can crash there if ya like and we can work on somethin' for ya."

As the others worked out the details of their plan of attack, Aislinn rose from her seat. They appeared to have it from here and she still wasn't 100%. She needed to find some rest. "Just...try to all come back in one piece. Aside from the obvious reasons, of not wanting to lose another person, the clinic is short-staffed." she said as she made her way out. "Be safe."

Mivo'to lifted the Panda of his shoulder by its scruff, setting it beside his boots. "Pray, should any update arise, reach for my shell - I shant be but a hour's travel away." He spoke, drifting from the study.

N'yami offered a small wave. "Take care and get some rest."

Alexi nodded to N'yami, the first hint of a smile cracking the corners of his mouth. "Sounds like a much better option. Lead the way."

Rising Lotus started her way off. "See ya'll tomorrow then, I'll should be up in time otherwise jus' come get me."