#tbh tho i am very very much out of my emo phase fob still goes Hard

[set-phasers-to-whump]

scars and stories

prompt: scars

whumpee: nick burkhardt

fandom: grimm

hi! this fic is weirdly not very whumpy...it’s much more like...Thinking and Talking and not hardly any pain at all which is So not my brand but this is how it ended up. i hope that you like it despite the fact that, for a fic written for a whump event, it’s really not so whumpy at all lol. (title from champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends by fall out boy)

Renard has been at the hospital for six hours now. At first, it had been stressful, but he’d had company. They’d all shared in the anxiety and the fear of Nick being in the hospital - again - with a very large, very bloody stab wound in his stomach. And then a nurse had come out and they’d all stood up in unison, and he’d given them one look and taken a step back like he was worried they were going to attack him, then delivered the good news. Nick was okay, stable, and sleeping. And then the bad news - visiting hours were up. 

Renard had managed to talk his way into being allowed to stay until Nick woke up (one of the perks of being a police captain), and the rest of the group had insisted that he provide them with updates as they had made their way out the doors. They’d also half-bullied, half-begged the hospital staff to let them stop by an hour before the visiting hours resumed the following morning. 

And now, Renard is here, by himself, sitting in a chair while Nick sleeps in the hospital bed next to him. It’s odd seeing him so still, paler than normal with several small cuts and scrapes on his face and an IV in his arm and a pulse monitor on his finger. 

“He’s alright. I know you’re well aware of that, but it’s worth repeating, anyway. He’s a real fighter,” says a voice from the doorway. Renard looks up in surprise, instinctively reaching for his weapon until he realizes it’s a doctor. In fact, it’s the doctor who is responsible for stitching Nick back up. He relaxes, slightly sheepish, and lets the man continue.

“He’ll have another new scar to add to the collection, though it’ll hardly be his worst. I have to say, I’m…well, impressed sure isn’t the right word, but…I’ve worked on plenty of cops before. Your detective here has more scars than any of the others, and I’ve operated on lifelong officers, thirty year veterans, the works. Detective Burkhardt has them all beat.”

Renard doesn’t know what to say in response to that. It’s not surprising that his young detective - young Grimm - has scars - he’s been shot and stabbed and in countless fights, and frankly he’d be more surprised if Nick didn’t have scars. It’s more the fact that he apparently has so many - enough to impress a doctor who creates scars for a living. 

And what’s more, Renard realizes, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen any of these supposed scars. Nick is virtually always wearing long sleeves and pants, and his face and hands have somehow avoided being badly hurt. 

Before he can do too much more thinking on the fact that he’s worked with Nick for years and never seen any of his scars that he can recall, the doctor says, “I’ll be on shift until four, if you need anything.” He leaves the room, giving Renard a wave goodbye, and then he’s alone again.

Renard gives Nick another once-over. He still looks as pale and vulnerable as before, and his right arm is poking out from under the blanket with an IV sticking into the skin. He doesn’t want to touch the arm and risk pulling the needle out, so he instead carefully untucks Nick’s left arm from the blankets. Just to see if the doctor had really been telling the truth (though there’s not any reason for him to have lied). 

There are a couple of scrapes, clearly from this most recent fight, and a few small, faded scars. Most of them are short, thin. Grazes from knives, maybe. There’s one near the inside of his elbow that looks like a bite. He’s about to push up the sleeve of the hospital gown, where he can just see the edge of what looks like something jagged and deep and painful on Nick’s upper arm, when Nick moves and makes a soft noise, and he quickly pulls away before Nick can wake up and ask him what exactly he’s doing. 

Nick wakes up slowly, blinking around and looking down at himself and the hospital bed, clearly completely confused. He winces softly as he sits up, putting a hand to the spot on his stomach where Renard knows several fresh stitches are holding him together.

“What…?” he asks, voice soft and scratchy, as his eyes finally land on Renard. 

“You were stabbed,” Renard reminds him. He passes over a small cup of water that had been left for him by a nurse at some point. “You lost quite a bit of blood. You were in surgery for awhile, and you’ve been asleep for the past few hours.”

“Oh.” Nick looks at him with a kind of questioning expression, and Renard pretty easily works out what it means. 

“It’s the middle of the night. The hospital staff allowed me to stay, as a police captain, but visiting hours are long over.”

There’s a look of…surprise, mixed with something like gratitude, on Nick’s face. 

“Why?”

Renard shrugs. “It’s confusing enough waking up from surgery after being stabbed. And more confusing if you’re completely alone.”

Nick hums softly in response, his eyes starting to close. Renard doesn’t want to keep him awake, but he is also a bit curious, and his detective is…uninhibited, thanks to the pain medicine he’s currently on, and he may not get a chance to ask again. So he goes for it.

“The doctor who operated on you told me you have more scars than anyone he’s ever seen.”

That wakes Nick up. His eyes open fully, and make contact with Renard’s. “What?”

“I’ve just…never seen them. You’re always wearing long sleeves, and we’re not exactly the kind of people to talk about…anything like this.”

Nick shrugs like it doesn’t matter at all. “Yeah, I’ve got scars. Part of the job.”

“Which job?”

“Both, I guess. Mostly the Grimm stuff. Y’know, my Aunt Marie was covered in scars. I never knew until a doctor told me, when she was here, before she…”

Scars run in Nick’s family, Renard realizes. Physical, emotional…being a Grimm takes its toll over the course of a life. Has already taken its toll on the man in front of him, who has only been a Grimm for a few short years. 

“How bad are they? The scars.”

Another shrug. “Some are big. Mostly they’re small. I don’t know, I don’t pay much attention to them.” Nick looks down when he says this, his left hand picking at the edge of the blanket. “Guess this will be one of the big ones.”

“It will,” Renard agrees, matter-of-fact. The injury itself had been bad, deep and long and jagged, and he’s sure the new scar, right across Nick’s stomach, will serve as a very prominent reminder of this particular event. (He’s also pretty sure it won’t be the only scar - getting stabbed tends to leave more than one kind of mark, but that’s a talk for another time). 

“Do you have any scars?”

Renard shrugs, not entirely surprised that the conversation is now turning towards him. “A few. Mostly from my time serving as an officer. One or two from Wesen-related incidents. Nothing close to what you have, though.”

“It is kind of a lot, isn’t it?” Nick asks, and he sounds as though he’s never really thought about this before. As though he’s always accepted this - this pain, these scars - as something that is simply a part of his life. The thought makes Renard equal parts angry and sad, and he looks away from Nick for a moment and decides to change the topic of conversation to something a bit lighter. He’s hounded Nick with enough questions for now, he decides (though he also decides that they will be picking this topic up again at a later date).

“How’s your -” he starts, looking back at Nick. Who has fallen asleep again, still pale and not himself, but peaceful, now, too. “Never mind,” he finishes. Lighter topics of conversation can wait.

Renard stands from his seat by the bed, and before he can think the better of it, reaches out and pulls the blanket tightly around Nick, tucking his left arm back beneath it. He lightly touches the side of Nick’s face. “Sleep well,” he says softly, then sinks back into his chair and waits for the morning to arrive. 

thanks for reading! hope you liked this despite it being not my usual sorta thing lmao. anyway i wanted to write this when i rewatched the first couple eps and a doctor asks nick if he knows about aunt marie’s scars. it got me thinking like, nick should have scars too what with all the shit he’s had happen to him. so i decided to write it and give him some :) may revisit this concept later...who knows.