#church health

[paularoseauthor]

Best Tips: Navigating the Return to Work or Church After a Break.

I am returning to Church and work after a period of sick leave. For me returning to Church is an exciting and uplifting experience. laptop work My return to work from sick leave signifies a significant step towards recovering my health and reclaiming a sense of normalcy. You can also apply my principles if you have been away from your Church Fellowship for some time. Here are some reasons why…

[lizardho]

I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.

By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.

At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.

I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).

I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.

I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).

I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)

I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.

I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.

A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.

After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.

I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.

On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.

Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕

[notanotherbaptistpodcast]

Why Churches Die, Part 7

Kyle and Matt continue their series on why churches by by looking at those who reject pastoral leadership. Article: https://www.namb.net/church-replanting/resource/why-churches-die-part-7-they-reject-pastoral-leadership/ If you're looking for trustworthy Christian higher education that equips you to think biblically, reason truthfully, and share God's Word effectively, Texas Baptist College is the place for you. TBC focus is Christ-centered, Scripture-driven, and student-focused. And the best way to experience TBC is to attend its Spring Preview Day on March 31.

Tour the campus, speak with faculty members, chat with fellow students, and experience the unique campus community of Texas Baptist College during Spring Preview Day.

Register today at texasbaptistcollege.com/preview

[cosmosnout]

Fuck it we ball, golden route were they all team up and rule over Fódlan together. Canon won’t let them be happy and alive together so I have to do it (+ soldier,poet,king reference since it’s literally them)

[canadianabroadvery]

[queerism1969]

[itsyouch]

no because I regret EVEN saying that I hate tex as a joke. This scene hurt man....

[thewales-family]

The Prince of Wales visits St. Michael's Church of England High School in Rowley Regis, to learn about the award-winning student-led initiatives available to pupils to support their mental health and wellbeing, in Birmingham, England -April 25th 2024.

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

I am returned! Crazy things happened on hiatus, and here is a play-by-play:

Spent the bulk of September with our dogs at my great-aunt's lake cottage (which is a 15-hr drive from here), due to the abundance of birthdays this month.

Shortly after arriving, I got a cold from my sister, which as per usual, turned into bronchitis, which lasted the entirety of the vacation (I still have the cough).

Around midnight on the eve of our departure, I had a gallbladder attack (first one since early spring).

Except it was way worse. Like, I couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't even cry.

Called 911, got in the ambulance, and the pain suddenly vanished in the space of a minute.

The wee mountain hospital didn't have imaging equipment beyond a CT scan and the Dr. was like "If the pain is gone, you shouldn't expose yourself to that much radiation" (which I appreciated)

My labs were normal, so we conclude this must've been the passing of the gallstone. Big, if true.

I take hydrocodone and we all go to sleep.

In the morning, my mom and sister pack my stuff for me and my parents and I drive the 15 hours back home so that dad can make it to a job interview the next day.

During the last 45 minutes of the journey, my mom's very very old & frail chihuahua experiences a sharp decline in his already poor constitution.

I'm knocked out on hydrocodone, but my dad is up all night with the dog, and in the morning, he takes him to the vet to be put down.

My mom is devastated, this dog was adopted to be her bedside companion during chemo twelve years ago.

My dad's interview goes well.

I still have bronchitis.

Two days later, my sister (who stayed longer at the lake house to clean up) drives back to her home in Southern GA, but for hurricane Helene reasons, the highway is closed and she gets lost.

She finally makes it home to find her power is out, for hurricane Helene reasons (it's still out)

Three days later (last night), I have another brutally painful attack (clearly I'd NOT passed the stone), so my parents drive me to the ER.

Am able to get an ultrasound there, which confirms I still have either many gallstones or one huge one, but my labs are still normal.

Unfortunately, this makes sense because I underwent some rapid drastic weight loss after my attack in the spring.

ER Dr. thinks my pain is instead being caused by gastritis for genetic reasons (which reminded my mom that as a teenager she passed out at work from gastritis).

He prescribes me a trio of gastritis drugs.

I'll be going to a trusted functional medicine doctor next month because my dad got the job (an amazingly good job, praise God) and we can afford it at last. My hope is that this Dr. can point to causes beyond genetics for the gastritis and also get rid of the stones once and for all, even if that means going on Ursodiol.

My dad's new job requires him to move to the Middle East in three weeks.

Oh, and my personal Instagram account (which was about to become the cornerstone of my small business) was inexplicably terminated during my hiatus and I have no means of getting it back besides writing to the state Attorney General.

[bai-watch]

rough draft

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

questioning sexuality is so exhausting

[paularoseauthor]

The Theology of Wellness

Rooted in a theological perspective, the theology of wellness ...

In the intricate tapestry of human existence, the pursuit of wellness is often viewed through the lens of physical health alone.  However, a profound and holistic understanding of wellness extends beyond the confines of the body, delving into the realms of the spiritual, emotional, and mental dimensions.  Rooted in a theological perspective, the theology of wellness weaves together the sacred…

[vaguely-concerned]

also "every text says I should be dead or impossible"... weirdly hits dude

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

TW Religion

Look I understand why religious people take offense to Good Omens, the Hellaverse, and that type of media (I've made posts on this before, about how the church kinda made their own bed, and I stand by that). I'm religious. I'm a practicing Christian. There are things in the shows that bother me a bit at times. There are parts of the fandom that I think go too far, but that happens in every single fandom. I think many of us who've been in any fandom for a bit can think of an example where someone just took something way to far. I mean there are multiple stories out there, to the point you sometimes see jokes about it, where someone went from fan to felon pretty dang quick. Or cases where a group of fans got more than a bit culty. The difference with the Hellaverse specifically, is, I believe, that if you take it to far you can start messing with very real demons, who are not the same as the ones in the show, and I don't want to touch that.

Now all that said, the fact that I am religious is a key contributor in why I love this kinda of media, and why I gravitate to it. I like things that bother me, at least things that bother me theologically. I really like things that make me question my faith, or components of it. Also, if I haven't made this crystal clear, the church has caused me a great deal of pain, and continues to do so. I have a lot of religious trauma to work through, and it can be really hard, because I often feel really alone. Most people with religious trauma leave the religion in question. I'm still here. I have to grapple, almost daily, with separating my hurt from my faith, and separating what I was taught from what I actually believe. I'm exvangelical, but I'm still a church going, bible believing Christian, and y'all that's a special kind of hell. It hurts, a lot. Sometimes to the point where it makes me physically ill. People I love and respect, continue to say things knowingly or unknowingly that cut like a knife. And How many times can you get stabbed? How long? How long must I hurt?

These shows help me process. They help me look at things from another perspective and go "do I believe that? And if I do, why?" Also sometimes they call me out, and that's never fun... but it can be important. But one of the big ones is that it gives me a chance to process my hurt with the symbolism of my childhood. It's healing.

I latched onto Emily, because I see myself in her. I see someone who believed, and had the rug pulled out from under them. I see someone, who still believes, but feels betrayed. Someone who now has to confront and question, because "if this was a lie what else is?" And "I trusted this person and this is what they did?" And possibly worst of all, "I helped enable this. I allowed this to happen. I might not have known, but I still helped. What have I done?" I know those feelings. I live them every single day.

I understand Aziraphale's choice to go running back to heaven (whether I like that choice or not, and I don't). It looked like they would accept him as he was, even accept those he loves. He sees an opportunity to change things for the better, in this system he knows, and cares about even. It's not going to go well. We know it's not, and I think even Aziraphale knows that, but that need to believe it can change, that you change it, yeah I get it. I really do.

I understand Sera's desperation to protect. I remember feeling St. Peter's aversion. The desperate bargaining we've seen from the cherubs trying to convince themselves what they're doing is right, or at least not wrong, I've done it. I see myself in Vaggie, trying to mend the damage she did. I was an armored gay. I know I too caused harm. Lucifer's abandonment issues and desire to just leave it all behind him or try to. It's all to real. And Crowley's disillusionment with everything? His belief that he is "on his own side", because where else could he possibly go? Yeah I get that too.

And I could go on

And on

And on

[blvck-coffee-dad]

Time for a legit pinned/intro post? Probably...

👋🏿 So hey. Y'all can call me BN (initialism of my old Tumblr URL from about 10 years ago) or "Dad." I've been around Tumblr here and there since... 2009.

☕ Since I've been around so long, it's probably not surprising that I'm in my 40s. I've got a kid in college who I'm very proud of. It's probably unhealthy to say or think that your kid is your "reason for living," but if it wasn't, I might say that.

💻 I'm in tech for a living. Got my first job in IT when I was 19, so I've been at it for over 20 years.

🧔🏿‍♂️ The reason behind my "Black dads are the best dads" quip is because... it's true. Despite the stereotypes you might've heard regarding absentee Black fathers, recent and peer-reviewed research shows that out of all ethnic groups in America, Black fathers have the most active involvement in their children's lives, whether or not they live in the same household as their mother.

🔍 You could just scroll and see what I post here but it's mostly like... pretty scenery, coffee, pretty women, Star Trek, 80s/90s nostalgia, tech, kink, food, more coffee, personal posts, style, and of course shitposts.

🙏🏿 Believe it or not, I'm actually a pretty devout Christian. Church on Sundays, actively involved and everything. Perhaps hard to believe because I clearly don't mind posting nudity/kink things, but... Tumblr's an outlet for me, for now. I'd like to post more things about Jesus-y things, though so maybe you'll see that more often.

🏫 I'm also an undergrad student--yes, at my big ol' age. I'm working on a bachelor's degree in cybersecurity. I quickly trashed my first attempt out of high school, but I'm finally back to it. I'm hoping to graduate by October 2024 at the latest (but really shooting for April... then onto grad school, I hope). I have a sideblog for school things at @coffee-dad-studies. I might be posting more about that here soon too.

⚠️ I promise y'all.... my liking or leaving a comment on one of your posts does not mean anything more than "I liked this." 😅 Despite being a male in my 40s on Tumblr, I'm pretty normal in my interactions. I'm friendly and kind and occasionally flirty, but that's it. Nothing more.

🚫 Please leave me and my blog and my content alone if you're a bigot, an asshole, a fetishizer of Black men, or a minor. (I'm not gonna freak out if a minor likes or reblogs a wholesome text post but don't follow me.)

[powerpoison]