#chris cwej

[daughterofheartshaven]

A Virgin New Adventures reading guide

I told @gotyouanyway that I'd give them my reading guide for the Virgin New adventures that I made for a friend a while back and posting it publicly was easy and also means other people can use this too. I wrote this back in 2021, but stand by it from what I remember. It has been like 5-6 years since I read some of these books, so if I rated your favorite too low lemme know and I'll give it a re-read.

This might not be that helpful if you want to pick just a few books - I designed it more to streamline VNA experiance

The key:

1 - I'd recommend skipping

2 - Eh. You can skip, but there is at least something to be gained by reading it

3 - I would recommend reading this. It's not plot-critical, but it is a good read or useful setup

4 - Read this for sure. It's either plot-relevant, or just that damn good (or both).

Timewyrm: Genesys - 4 (introduces the timewyrm and the series; unfortunately it's also not great.)

Timewyrm: Exodus - 3 (continues the timewyrm story, and is a fairly straightforward but interesting story)

Timewyrm: Apocalypse - 2 (eh. Not much for or against it either way)

Timewyrm: Revelation - 4 (concludes the timewyrm arc with style)

Cat's Cradle: Time's Crucible - 3 (Good if you can wrap you head around it)

Cat's Cradle: Warhead - 2 (depressing as all get out, but very well written)

Cat's Cradle: Witch Mark - 3 (just plain weird. Does finish the current arc and sets up Return of the Living Dad)

Nightshade - 2 (kinda weird. Notable as the first Mark Gatiss story)

Love and War - 4 (plot-relevant. Also awesome)

Transit -4 (Introduces important recurring character. Hard to follow but really good even if you can't follow it)

The Highest Science - 3 (good story, but ultimately not amazingly important)

The Pit - 1 (I did not enjoy)

Deceit - 4 (Not a great read, but important to the plot)

Lucifer Rising - 4 (Amazing, with important character development for our protagonists)

White Darkness - 2 (first David A. McIntee novel, but not especially gripping)

Shadowmind - 3 (good demonstration of where Ace and Benny are as characters, vaguely interesting plot)

Birthright - 3 (good character piece for Ace and Benny, shows a darker side to the Doctor without being dumb about it)

Iceberg - 2 (plot is messy and weird. Only read if you need the Doctor's half of the story from Birthright)

Blood Heat - 4 (starts alternate universe arc, important developments for the Tardis)

The Dimension Riders - 2 (gonna be honest here - I don't remember a thing about this one either way)

The Left-Handed Hummingbird - 3 (first Kate Orman novel. Pretty good, although a little weird and hard to follow)

Conundrum - 3 (Be prepared for weirdness. And superheroes. Helps setup for No Future and Head Games)

No Future - 4 (concludes the alternate universe arc with style, establishes Ace from here on out)

Tragedy Day - 3 (dark, but good. Worth a read)

Legacy - 3 (Kinda dark, but it works. Be prepared for over-continuity)

Theatre of War - 4 (Pulls off one of the best plot twists I've seen anywhere, and introduces Braxieatel to the Whoniverse)

All-Consuming Fire - 4 (Not plot-relevent at all, but is very good, especially if you are a Sherlock Holmes fan)

Blood Harvest - 4 (Major plot point in the Whoniverse)

Strange England - 2 (takes strangeness to an art form. Can be freely skipped)

First Frontier - 4 (plot relevant for spoiler-y reasons)

St Anthony's Fire - 2 (dark and weird, but well written)

Falls the Shadow - 1 (Just... no)

Parasite - 1 (Written by Jim Mortimore, therefore depressing as all get out)

Warlock - 2 (I did not read. Sequel to Warhead, so only read if you liked it)

Set Piece - 4 (major plot developments for multiple characters)

Infinite Requiem - 2 (like The Dimension Riders, I remember nothing)

Sanctuary - 3 (a pure historical. Not really great on its own, but helps set up Human Nature)

Human Nature - 4 (The story that was adapted to TV. One of the best New Adventures by itself, becomes even better by having fun comparing it to the TV version)

Original Sin - 4 (plot-relevant)

Sky Pirates! - 2 (Only if you like Douglas-Adams-esque dark humor)

Zamper - 3 (Somewhat interesting follow-up to The Highest Science)

Toy Soldiers - 2 (Adds pretty much nothing, but not painfully bad) 

Head Games - 4 (a worthwhile look at where the Doctor has been going and who he is)

The Also People - 4 (probably my favorite New Adventure, although Theatre of War and Human Nature are also up there. Also resolves a recurring character's arc)

Shakedown - 3 (Fun, but ultimately fluff)

Just War - 2 (Weird and ultimately unimportant)

Warchild - 2 (Same situation as Warlock. Starts Psi arc, but can be skipped)

SLEEPY - 4 (Generally good story, sets up Psi arc if you skipped Warchild)

Death and Diplomacy - 3 (only worthwhile as setup for Happy Endings)

Happy Endings - 4 (Plot relevant. Ultimately fluff, but plot-relevant)

GodEngine - 4 (not plot-relevant, but an excellent story)

Christmas on a Rational Planet - 2 (part of Psi arc, and lays groundwork for Faction Paradox stuff, but I couldn't really follow it)

Return of the Living Dad - 4 (cleans up old plot threads, and is a great story in its own right)

Cold Fusion - 4 (Not plot relevant, but an excellent, gripping story)

The Death of Art - 2 (part of Psi arc, but not great)

Damaged Goods - 2 (Russel T. Davis's first Who work, but very dark and nasty)

So Vile a Sin - 4 (finishes Psi arc and has other plot relevance)

Bad Therapy - 2 (deals mostly with repercussions of previous story, but not great in and of itself)

Eternity Weeps - 1 (Jim Mortimore's writing is too depressing for me. Technically plot relevant in that Benny and Jason get divorced but not worth it)

The Room With No Doors - 4 (setup for Lungbarrow, good story in its own right)

Lungbarrow - 4 (concludes the new adventures of the seventh doctor in a surprisingly meaningful way)

The Dying Days - 4 (a nice little coda to the series that sets up Benny's adventures as well)

[verloonati]

VNA #59 The Room with no Doors, Kate Orman (1996)

Kate Orman took one of the most questionable scenes from eternity weeps and just decided to roll along with it, and it's fucking awesome. This story presents itself as maybe lower stakes than usual, but allows room to properly examine every single one of its characters. Although it does suffer from the same problem than the left handed hummingbird (namely, the portrayal of feudal Japan is somewhat rooted in stereotypes, and every single Japanese term being in italic has a very "keikoku means plan vibe to it) but it does transcend them beautifully.

The events of the story are less relevant than Chris and the doctor's state of mind, exploring Chris better than any book has done before, and allowing the doctor to want to let go his manipulative streak. Penelope is a very interesting side character, and Te Yene Rana is a good antagonist, it's also nice to see Joel Mintz return.

10/10 thank god we're back to the good books

Since i've started reading trough the vna again, here's my opinion about each and every one of them because it's my blog and i do what i want with it

VNA #1 Timewyrm: genesys (1991, John Peel)

Okay, this book is bad, like it's a disaster. The idea of "dr who meets gilgamesh" is pretty good on paper, but damn does this miss the mark at every term.

Every single scene with ace is gross mysoginistic mischaracterisation, Gilgamesh is insufferable, Ishtar is a completely uninteresting antagonist and her motives are cliché af.

At the very least, the stranded Anuans are an interesting twist and the introduction of avram makes for an interesting Change of Pace.

2/10, that was Five hours of my life i'm never getting back

[melbush]

if there’s one thing about me, i love an alignment chart

[gallifreyanhotfive]

Random Doctor Who Facts You Might Not Know, Part 6

The Fourth Doctor once almost drowned in a lake while following giant cat footprints.

While "pimping up" Bessie, the Eleventh Doctor turned her into a monster truck.

The Seventh Doctor takes five to six sugars in his tea.

The Seventh Doctor once admitted that he enjoyed destroying worlds.

The Second Doctor once found parts of the Sixth Doctor's outfit in his TARDIS wardrobe. He decided that he would never wear such a thing.

Khavûl, the main enemy in the "Chronomancer" audio starring the Sixth Doctor, Mel Bush, and Hebe Harrison, is a Drornidian and a Paradox Mage. The planet Drornid would play an important role during the War in Heaven.

In the far future where it is not meaningful to measure time, Evelyn Smythe became a CyberController.

While training to be an astronaut, Steven Taylor played the titular character in a stage production of Hamlet.

The Eighth Doctor has kept kittens in his pockets before.

Chris Cwej has used body bepples, a form of genetic alteration that can change one's physical appearance. He has taken the forms of a person-sized teddy bear and a catboy with tufted ears.

The Doctor was given an avatroid named Badger when he was very young because he needed a tutor, friend, and protector. Badger gives literally almost rib-cracking hugs.

When Rose Tyler and the Tenth Doctor considered getting a pet for the TARDIS, they found a pet store that was run by peaceful Cybermen. Only when Rose protested against the conversion of mice to Cybermice did the Doctor defeat the Cybermen.

The Second Doctor was once seen offering a prayer to "the gods of his own people."

The Eighth Doctor also took Charley Pollard back in time to kill the would-be dictator as a baby but was foiled as well.

The Second Doctor can play the recorder hanging upside down.

Through his forced regenerations, the Doctor lost the ability to make a good soufflé.

The Master once set Jo Grant up on a date with Mike Yates.

Dalek casings are made of polycarbide and dalekanium.

Rose Tyler was once infected with a lagnon grub, so the Tenth Doctor put her into a dream where he was dating Jackie and Mickey had an Amazonian girlfriend. The resulting jealousy drove the grub from her body.

While most future incarnations looked at the First Doctor with deep respect, the Eleventh Doctor did not, calling him a selfish idiot and a coward.

Glitterguns are effective weapons against the Cybermen.

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

[the-frosty-mac]

okay so. Doctor Who spinoff rabbithole

Introducing “The Sekimeiya: Spun Glass,” a mystery visual novel with a moderate fanbase (it has almost 200 reviews on Steam, largely positive).

I’ve never played it myself, but it seems interesting enough. Now you might be wondering what it has to do with Doctor Who. It’s an anime art style visual novel, what could the relevance possibly be?

Well, “The Sekimeiya: Spun Glass” features a character named Larles. But Larles did not originate in this game. Larles originated from a little anthology book titled “Cwej: Down the Middle.”

Cwej, as in Chris Cwej. Seventh Doctor companion Chris Cwej. Who originates from the 1995 Doctor Who novel “Original Sin,” who travelled with the Doctor for a while (still occasionally getting appearances at Big Finish) before getting a whole new layer of complication thanks to Faction Paradox (which plays into Down the Middle).

In other words, The Sekimeiya: Spun Glass crosses over with a spinoff of a spinoff of a semi-obscure licensed Doctor Who novel series from the 90s

God, I love Doctor Who

[pl9090]

Another attempt at a Whovian meme thing. Made using the, "Laries and the Midas Touch 3" illustration from Arcbeatle Press's CweJ Hidden Truth's anthology.

[doctornolonger]

7 years later: Coloth has arrived.

The Book of the Snowstorm, brilliantly crafted and compiled by @aristidetwain, is AVAILABLE NOW in print, epub, and Kindle!

It includes a new story from me, “The First Noël”, as well as literally dozens of other stories. Welcome to the Library – just be sure to wear something cozy. Winter has arrived!

[queer-dw-tourney]

CANONICALLY QUEER DOCTOR WHO CHARACTERS TOURNAMENT: ROUND ONE GROUP THREE POLL TWO.

Christian Purcell is gay. He is in a relationship with his roommate, Luke Pendrell.

Chris Cwej is bisexual. This is explored in the novels Bad Therapy and The Room With No Doors.

[wanderingmadscientist]

A Faction Paradox film was discussed by Lawrence Miles and a representative of a Warner Brothers subsidiarity in 2003. The representative had obtained an early copy of Political Animals from Image Comics and expressed interest in obtaining the rights to consider a film adaptation of the story. However, Miles had learned just earlier that day that the comic's third issue had been cancelled, and the representative lost interest after Miles described the story as "Amadeus with monsters".

Never forget that we almost got a Faction Paradox movie. It would have probably sucked, true, but then we could have said that the reason it sucked was that the Great Houses had sent Chris Cwej to sabotage the movie.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Would one of the mass produced Cwejen be proof on concept off Human looming. Or due to the fact the original Cwej was granted the ability to regenerate so he could act as a Regen-inf (a fate he luckily escaped) mean that his respective Biodata duplicates are not human enough to count as a human born of loom?

Or is the creation of a Cwej closer to using a remembrance tank, or the Tanks they use in the City to make Remakes?

How were the Army of One/the Cwejens created?

The Cwejen are a result of an advanced biotechnological process known as the "Army of One," distinct from both Looming and creation via remembrance tanks. This method involves diffracting an individual's timeline—originally Chris Cwej's—into multiple copies, effectively creating an army from a single biodata source.

🧬Differences from Looming

Here’s why the creation of the Cwejen isn't related to Looming:

Biodata Diffracting vs. Weaving: Looming traditionally involves weaving new life from base matter and biodata, creating a Gallifreyan from genetic material stored and manipulated within the Loom. Meanwhile, the Army of One technique used to create Cwejen involves splitting an existing timeline into multiple independent trajectories, effectively cloning one individual into many through timey-wimey stuff.

Purpose and Function: The function of Looms in Gallifreyan culture is to perpetuate their race, typically producing individuals who start life complete in terms of Gallifreyan physiological traits. The Cwejen, however, are cloned soldiers with variations in their forms and functions designed for specific military purposes and not to continue the lineage of a House or maintain the cultural heritage of Gallifrey.

Genetic Integrity: While Looms are designed to maintain the genetic integrity and continuity of the Gallifreyan race, ensuring each new individual is a fully functional Gallifreyan, the Cwejen are designed as derivatives of a single individual, with varying degrees of fidelity to the original’s characteristics.

🏫So ...

While the creation of the Cwejen is impressive, it doesn't align with the traditional concept of Looming as it lacks the element of genetic weaving from a broad biodata base. The Cwejen are more like copies of a single source, whereas Looms produce new beings from a collective genetic repository. So, the Cwejen don't represent a case of human looming or any form of traditional looming; they're a unique product of technological innovation highly specific to the conditions of the War in Heaven.

Related:

What is looming and how does it exist alongside natural reproduction?: Overview of looming and its place alongside natural reproduction in Gallifreyan society.

Could you loom a human?: Realities of looming a human.

Can a human and a Time Lord loom a child?: Overview of the looming process for hybrids.

Hope that helped! 😃

More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[raspberry-gloaming]

I'm currently at a point where because I've got into Gallifrey, I follow or have at least browsed people's blogs who love other dweu stuff. And I thought it might be fun to say what I currently think and know about eu characters/companions so when I have in the future delved deeper into the eu I can look back and compare and laugh and see how much is accurate! There's gonna be a "read more" here because this gonna get Long.

Also please let me know what I've got right and not and also tell me more about these characters if you are fans of them!

Benny: starting off strong i know some stuff about her! she's an archeologist from the future (wonder if she ever met River) and she travelled with... one of the doctor(s)? Possibly Seven? She is besties with Brax and sometimes works for him and his collection. Probably must be able to put up with bullshit because of those last two points. Has a husband called Jason and at least one kid, which, iconic, female adventure and action protagonists should get to be mums more often its always the childfree so big up Benny for that. made a cameo at the end of Gallifrey IV.

Evelyn: I have heard her. A little. I basically skipped through the apocalypse element because I wanted to understand some of the reasons that Romana is the way she is in Gallifrey, but didn't listen properly because I got bored. Is an old lady, which is great - its great to see ages mixing it up a bit, instead of the 19-25 year old girl primary companions we consistently get in nu-who. Travelled with Six and is/was a professor at a university. Not sure for which subject though.

Fitz: Canonically bisexual and wears a leather jacket. I've seen A Lot of shipping him and Eight, and these shippers seem to have a similar vibe to Two/Jamie shippers. I don't know much else, except that his time with the doctor is probably fucked up because from what I have gleaned, Eight's companions Go Through It like big time.

Compassion: Faction Paradox which I believe is in an alternate universe (also the faction paradox timelines seem to have have a different vibe of names to the main universe ones, every time I'm on the "Individual Time Lords" category on the wiki and see a name that seems out of place it turns out to be a character from Faction Paradox.) Is a person (human i think?) but is also a TARDIS? Like you can go into her and travel? Where tf is the door this is very cursed. Also used as a breeding machine to make more TARDISes as well? By Romana? Idk but this seems pretty fucked up in an icky way. And fucked up in a non-icky way too. I'm just confused tbh. Not sure which doctor is involved in this one.

C'rizz - Possibly people can't say his name right? Is that him? Alien boy, travelled with Eight and Charley. That's about all I know.

Chris Cwej: I know even less about him, hes the other possibility for people mixing up his name or something. Think he travelled with Seven. Idk why but he gives me dick vibes.

Hex Schofield: Travelled with Ace and Seven. Is from 2021 or something and says "sus." Which yh that was a thing but he was made before among us existed that's a cool coincidence that it turned out like that.

Liv and Helen: They exist. That's it I know nothing more.

Molly O'Sullivan: Also exists. Travelled with eight?

Charley Pollard: Has a Nazi for a sister - Blind Eye my beloved. Calls herself Edwardian even though she's from the 1930s, idk if its like a character point or an accidental fuck up by the writers. Has a romance with the doctor in some form. And also a pretty messed up relationship with him i think. Actually just a pretty messed up time. Especially because I think she was in Scherzo which I hear Wild Blue Yonder was inspired by. So good luck girl you're gonna need it.

[daughterofheartshaven]

Using the Doctor Who EU to show how Gallifrey survived the Chibnall era

So. I'm actually a big fan of the Chibnall era of Doctor Who. That being said, I still don't like some of it's plot points, and so, consequentially, I have a handful of headcanons that use the Doctor Who expanded universe to address those, and I feel like they are worth sharing. We're gonna start with Gallifrey's destruction at the hands of the Spy Master. I don't like it for a number of reasons, but I think the biggest one is, like, how did the Master even do that? How did he destroy Gallifrey so completely while also leaving enough bodies behind to make the CyberMasters?

Well, let's find out. Buckle up, because this is gonna get complicated.

Okay, ground rules first. Anything seen on tv, happened. I can recontextualize as much as I want (and I'm gonna do that, believe me) but it still has to fit with everything we see onscreen. I also have to use all of an EU source if I use it. No picking and choosing bits.

With that out of the way, let's meet the stories that are our players:

Ascension of the Cybermen / The Timeless Children: the tv episodes that gave us the most details about the Master destroying Gallifrey. I'm gonna assume if you're reading this, you're familiar with.

Hell Bent: the other big Gallifrey episode of the new series. I'm assuming familiarity with it, too.

The Time of the Doctor: The only other tv episode I'm going to reference, again for Gallifrey reasons.

Down the Middle: a prose short story collection first released in 2020, and the crux of all the arguments I will be making here. While not licensed by the BBC, it does feature licensed use of prose companion Chris Cwej (among many other things) making it a valid part of the expanded universe. The first installment of the Cwej series. I will be talking about pretty heavy spoilers for Down the Middle here, so go away if you don't wanna see that.

The Dark Path: a book featuring the Second Doctor and, notably, the Master, released in 1997.

Alien Bodies: a book featuring the Eighth Doctor, released in 1997.

The Taking of Planet 5: a book featuring the Eighth Doctor, released in 1999.

The Book of the War: a... book (it's hard to define) that is styled as an in-universe guide to the world of Faction Paradox. If you're not familiar with, Faction Paradox is a sci-fi series that spun out of elements of Doctor Who books. It contains nothing owned by the BBC, but does contain elements and characters from Doctor Who books (specifically the Eighth Doctor Adventures book series), making it also a part of the expanded universe.

The Clockwise War: a comic serialized in Doctor Who magazine, and later released in a collection of the same name. Features the Twelfth Doctor and Bill Potts.

And Today, You: an installment of the Cwej series released in 2023. Set some time after Down the Middle from the perspective of Chris Cwej and the Time Lords.

Okay. Let's get started. Because of copyright restrictions, different parts of the expanded universe use different terms for concepts, events, and characters that are or could be interpreted to be the same. I'm going to go through some of the books I just mentioned and define how they approach these terms and the lore/worldbuilding they establish, so when I actually start making arguments, I can refer to these concepts in a consistent manner.

The only thing The Dark Path brings into this is that it established that Koschei was a name the Master used before calling himself the Master. That book does a lot of other great stuff, but that's the only thing relevant to this discussion.

Alien Bodies was the first book to introduce an arc about a future War (called the War in Heaven) across time between the Time Lords and some unnamed Enemy. While the Gallifrey of the Doctor's present was not yet a part of the War, they were aware of the war and trying to prepare themselves for it. This thread gets continued throughout the series of the Eighth Doctor Adventures book series, with Gallifrey becoming more militant and dangerous in preparation for the War.

So, uh... this sound familiar to anybody?

Legally speaking from the perspective of copyright, the War in Heaven as introduced in Alien Bodies and the Last Great Time War of Doctor Who's new series cannot be confirmed to be the same conflict. That being said, I totally think they're the same thing. Mostly just because "a massive war in space and time that was after the start of the Eighth Doctor but before the Ninth Doctor in which Gallifrey and the Time Lords went from a passive people to warmongering maniacs and the universe was nearly destroyed in the process" is a description that fits both the War in Heaven and the Last Great Time War and, like, the fact that the show and the expanded universe never references there being two conflicts like that. Not everything works perfectly together, but that seems reasonable in a War that heavily involves changing time and history. I'll hopefully do another big post like this weaving all of the War in Heaven stuff with Last Great Time War stuff together a bit more seamlessly, but for now, I'm going to take it as stated that the conflicts are the same.

That tangent aside, one of the books that was seeding Alien Bodies' upcoming War in Heaven was The Taking of Planet 5, which notably introduced the idea of the Nine Gallifreys. More specifically, the idea was that the Time Lords had made at least nine identical copies of Gallifrey to be used as decoys in the war - and that it was possible that multiple Gallifreys thought they were the original.

If you're thinking "oh, so the Master destroyed a copy of Gallifrey, not the original," then, well, yeah. So did the guy who came up with the idea of the Nine Gallifreys in the first place. And that is where this is going. But that actually doesn't answer how the Master was able to raze a Gallifrey. We've still got a lot more digging to do.

The Book of the War was the first release of the Faction Paradox series, and it took the War in Heaven idea and divorced it from Doctor Who. It still had the same players and was explicitly set in the same continuity as the Eighth Doctor Adventures books it had launched from - just with some things renamed to avoid having to get license from the BBC. The Time Lords became the Great Houses, Gallifrey became the Homeworld, and so on and so forth. But this is still the same War in Heaven, and so I consider it still an account of the Last Great Time War.

One thing The Book of the War introduced was the Cwejen. To make a long story very short, the Time Lords spliced the timeline of one of their agents, Chris Cwej (former companion of the Seventh Doctor, although that's not actually relevant to anything happening here). By doing so, they were able to start manufacturing time-clones (look. I'm doing a lot of simplifying here) which were then considered a new species called the Cwejen. The Cwejen were used as agents and as foot solders during the War. (This is basically Doctor Who's equivalent to Star Wars's Clone Troopers.)

Okay, now we're ready for Down the Middle. This is where things get really fun.

Down the Middle is set after the conclusion to the War in Heaven, which I am claiming was the Last Great Time War. Thus, from Gallifrey's perspective, it is set after Gallifrey returns to the universe, as shown in Hell Bent. It features the Time Lords, or, well, the Superiors. Much like Faction Paradox, the Cwej series can't explicitly say things like "Time Lords" or "Gallifrey" without getting copyright struck by the BBC, so they say "The Superiors" and "The Base of Operations." I'm gonna stick with the BBC terms for sake of consistency though.

Down the Middle follows Chris Cwej, still as an agent of the Time Lords, as he does missions for them. It also spends a lot of time looking into the Cwejen and what their life was like after the end of the War. The first like 80% of the book is very good but also not relevant to what I'm doing here, but towards the end of the book, the High Council of the Time Lords decides to execute Chris for... reasons (look I'm trying to not spoil stuff). However, Chris proves harder to kill then expected, and he guns down the Time Lord President before escaping. This would be bad already, but the Time Lords decided to broadcast Chris's execution to all the Cwejen to make an example of him or something.

This backfires. Badly.

The Cwejen, outraged and inspired, rise up against the Time Lords. The Time Lords are completely blindsided by this, and by the time they get their act together the rebellion is too big to be stopped. Chris Cwej, exhausted from the events of... previous stories in the book... and not wanting to be in a second war following his survival of the War in Heaven, takes a stasis pod to an empty planet and puts himself into stasis without any real intention of ever coming out of it. In Chris's absence, a Cwej named Thomas Mackeray becomes the leader of the Cwejen Uprising.

This brings us to the last story in Down the Middle, Rebel Rebel.

The plot of Rebel Rebel is as follows: The Cwejen uprising has been raging for fifty years. A Cwejen named Tina visits the ruins of Gallifrey's Capitol and finds the head of a cyborg - in the first edition, it was a Cyberon and in the second edition it was a Cryptopyre (I'm gonna circle back around to this) - and uses it to access the data from the cyborg's hive mind. This data contains the resting place of Chris Cwej. Tina and her girlfriend Frey use this information to travel to Chris Cwej's resting place, where they dig him up and revive him. Tina and Frey want to escape the warzone raging between the Time Lords and Cwejen, so they take Chris Cwej to Thomas Mackeray, hoping Mackeray will grant them safe passage from the war in return for Chris giving official support to Mackeray's rebellion.

The problem is that Mackeray is a bloodthirsty tyrant who has become no better then the Time Lords. He's currently held up on a former Time Lord structure called simply the Tower. The Tower has the power to change history, and Mackeray wants to use it to destroy Gallifrey from before its natives became the Time Lords to wipe the Time Lords from history (It's implied that some Time Lords are still around, although they are fighting a loosing battle against the Uprising). Mackeray can't use the tower himself, but Tina and Chris both could. When Chris refuses to give Mackeray support, Mackeray throws Chris down to the bottom of the Tower. Frey is able to save him from falling to his death, but in doing so, she uses up much of her life energy and is left near death and also at the bottom of the tower. Chris and a dying Frey explore the bottom of the tower, and they find there is actually a Time Lord down there. He seems to be imprisoned. He claims Mackeray has no idea he's down there. And he's only identified as Koschei.

Oh and btw the copyright page of Down the Middle says that the character of Koschei is copyright to the person who wrote The Dark Path (David A. McIntee). Chris and Frey just discovered the Master.

The Master tells Chris that he can save Frey's life and give both Chris and Frey safe passage to the top of the tower if Chris promises to listen to the Master's words at a time of the Master's choosing. Chris is aware that it's a trap, but it's Frey's only hope, so he agrees. The Master heals Frey, then hypnotizes Chris. Chris blacks out. When he wakes, the Master is gone, but he is able to get back to the top of the tower.

It's not specified which incarnation of the Master this is, but the dialogue fluctuates rapidly from polite conversation to unhinged mania in a way that feels very Spy Master. He goes on a rant about how he wants to painfully murder all the Time Lords, then tries to pass it off as a joke. He also claims to have been locked in the Tower after trying revolt against the Time Lords, but also claims he would rather them in power over Mackeray. Visually, he is described as being blurry and painful to look at, which is explicitly a result of being in the core of the Tower with all the intense time energy being thrown around. I don't have conclusive proof that this is the Spy Master, but I think it fits.

In any case, Chris and Frey return to the top of the Tower, where Chris confronts and defeats Mackeray and accidentally begins the Tower's destruction. He then tries to use the the Tower to change history to remove the Cwejen Uprising and the bloodshed it has caused from history, but the Master takes telepathic control of Frey and uses her to stop him from doing the job properly - and the Tower fully destructs before he can get another chance. The universe is left as a combination of how it was before the Cwejen Uprising and how it was after that.

Before I proceed, I need to circle back around to a few things. I totally believe that the Master was imprisoned by the Time Lords after a failed revolt - a revolt he started after stumbling across the secret of the Timeless Child in the Matrix. I think he's trying to play the Cwejen and the Time Lords against each other, and his telepathic gambit at the end was an attempt to leave both destroyed or subdued. Also, I promised I'd circle back to the Cyberon and the Cryptopyre. The Cyberon are an imitation Cyberman owned by BBV. When Down the Middle was first published, BBV and Arcbeatle Press (Down the Middle's publisher) were working together and sharing IPs. Since then, BBV has come under controversy for shady behavior, and Arcbeatle has cut ties with BBV - hence changing the Cyberons to the Cryptopyres. Arcbeatle plans to publish more stories with the Cryptopyres in the future, but with the information we currently have, I am going to consider the Cryptopyres to be a subset/offshoot of the Cybermen, much like the Cyberons are implied to be related to the Cybermen (or as strongly implied as BBV can get away with without being sued).

So, how did the Master destroy Gallifrey? The Cwejen uprising destroyed the place (while leaving enough bodies for the Master to use later), possibly with the Master's help. Then he used Chris Cwej to wipe the Cwejen Uprising from history, ensuring that the army that had ransacked Gallifrey couldn't turn against him without rewriting the destruction of Gallifrey itself, He would later bring the Cybermen to Gallifrey's ruins, leading to there being broken Cybermen on Gallifrey (after the events of The Timeless Children), and Tina would later find a Cyber-head on Gallifrey to lead her to Chris.

There's one small problem with this though. I still haven't recapped the final scene of Rebel Rebel (oh and btw I have actually managed to avoid spoiling some of it so if this sounds good please please check out Down the Middle I love it so much). After this whole mess, Chris is contacted by the Time Lords. They survived after all. The Time Lord who contacts Chris (who is strongly implied to be Romana, by the way) tells him that Gallifrey exists again and is really angry at him, but also can't do anything about it because they don't want to kick-start the Uprising all over again. Romana and Chris come to a basic agreement that Chris will work to help repair the residual damage left by the Uprising, and Romana agrees that Chris will no longer work for the Time Lords directly.

So... how did that happen? Well, do you remember what I said about the Nine Gallifreys Project? An earlier story in Down the Middle sates that even after the War, the Time Lords still have the technology to create Gallifreyan cloneworlds. So I believe that when the universe was setting itself into the new timeline that Chris was trying to create (and that the Master hijacked), the Time Lords were able use that technology to mean that in the resultant timeline of the universe, there were Gallifreys at the same time. One where it was destroyed by the Cwejen, and one where the Cwejen Uprising never happened, with the latter hidden somewhere and the former where you would expect Gallifrey to be. The Master was completely ignorant of this, discovered the destroyed Gallifrey, and concluded his plan had worked.

I have a couple pieces of outside evidence to support this. In Hell Bent, Ashildr/Me is seen in the ruins of Gallifrey right before the end of time with the implication that she had been brought to Gallifrey by the Time Lords; if the Time Lords had been wiped out by the Cwejen (or the Master, or whatever) then it wouldn't make sense for her to have survived. To paraphrase the Doctor, she's immortal. Not indestructible. Similarly, in And Today, You (set after the events of Down the Middle), Chris is aware of the appearance of the Fourteenth Doctor and the events of the Flux. It's possible that the Time Lords could have looked into the Doctor's future, but the general expanded universe consensus is they don't do things like that, so I take this as more evidence that Gallifrey and Chris survived through the Thirteenth Doctor's era.

Okay the last thing I want to do is talk about why the Time Lords handled this situation in the way they did. Why let the Master think Gallifrey was dead? Why let the Doctor? If the Time Lords know about the Fourteenth Doctor, then they would also presumably know that the Doctor thought Gallifrey dead. It does come up a lot in the back half of the Thirteenth Doctor's era.

I think the answer comes in Hell Bent. The Doctor shows up on Gallifrey, and then immediately leads a military coup that exiles the Time Lord government. Shortly afterwards, he shoots down General Kenossium, one of his biggest supporters, because Kenossium was trying to prevent the Doctor from breaking the laws of time. The Doctor is a hero to Gallifrey, sure. But he's also incredibly dangerous to it. Whatever government put itself together in the aftermath of Hell Bent has an excellent reason to fear the Doctor returning, because he could tear anything they do to shreds. And they know he would, because he has. Not too long after that, in The Clockwise War, Gallifrey is nearly brought to its knees by an entity known as the Absence. At the start of Down the Middle, an off-worlder manages to assassinate the Time Lord president. It was stated in The Time of the Doctor and Hell Bent that Gallifrey needed to hide from its many enemies, and it was clearly doing a pretty bad job of it.

At the same time, the Cwej series shows that the Time Lords are actively trying to rebuild their powerbase after the War. They don't want to just run and hide, they want to hide while climbing back up to their former glory. And the best way to keep Gallifrey safe was to fake its death. Now the whole universe thinks Gallifrey is dead and gone - including its two most dangerous renegades. So long as the Doctor thinks Gallifrey is dead, he can't confront Gallifrey's underhanded power grabs. So long as the Master thinks Gallifrey is dead, he can't ever threaten it again. So long as the universe thinks Gallifrey is dead, they won't try to destroy it. Gallifrey is safe to rebuild its powerbase.

If you have any thoughts on my theory, please do let me know! And I'm hoping to be posting more in-depth headcanons like this tagged under "heartshaven's headcanons" so keep an eye out for that if you enjoyed this. I really enjoyed typing all this out, so thank you for reading!

[verloonati]

It's important for you to understand that Chris Cwej has a canonical big penis and used it to have sex with the timewyrm's reincarnation

[wgough42]

Discuss

[legok9]

Doctor Who cover art by Jon Sullivan

The Death of Art

So Vile a Sin cover

The Room With No Doors

Oh No It Isn't!

Ship of Fools

Deadfall

Oblivion

Dry Pilgrimage

Where Angels Fear

via Jon Sullivan's ArtStation

[familyparadox]

What the Bad Wolf did to Jack vs What the time lords did to Chris Cwej parallels

Ohhh new who Faction Paradox parallels Cwej like Jack did not want to have more than one life but that’s what he got. If you add it Clara who got duplicated loads but not clones but Biodata duplicated and became immortal as well you have the messed up relationship to time and life trio. Nerve consider Jack and Cwej parallels thank you for this. Might do something with this at some point point in my very large fic I have been writing for a while.

While we at it we could also talk about River and compare her being uploaded to the Libary to Chris become the V-Cwej in Cwej: the series in which he gets uploaded in to every other Cwej.