#childhood cancer facts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

astrogossipp · 7 months ago

Text

mercury notes

trauma through mercury signs 🥀

warning - content may be triggering, following are not absolute facts take them with a grain of salt. And please reach out to your loved ones and take care of yourself.

masterlist🎙️

〰 aries mercury

they probably had a childhood were they didn't feel heard enough so growing up they learned to communicate by being loud and as quickly as possible or either learned to kept it all in. Someone older or leader of the family may have controlled them in their childhood, could be a teacher as well. probably grew up in a family where yelling was normal.

〰 taurus mercury

they had to learn to adjust a lot, they were probably the 2nd choice growing up. they learned whom to trust and whom not to at a very young age. they could've went through an experience where someone close to them broke their trust and hence they learned not to share too much of them to others.

〰 gemini mercury

gemini mercury was the odd one of the family who had to learn how to deal with their parents (parents could have different style of communication or either were ignorant towards the child or busy). They learned to entertain themselves at a young age through gaining knowledge this may also happen due to them wanting to be interesting enough so that their parents would spend time with them. can be prone to oversharing or not sharing at all.

〰 cancer mercury

cancer mercury tend to hold on their feelings until it is impossible to do so anymore and if they ever try to communicate and the other person does not recognises it, it could be hard for them to do share their feeling with that person in the future. They may tend to get emotional or cry while talking about how they feel. they can hold grudges (if underdeveloped)

〰 virgo mercury

They were probably criticized as young kids for whatever they did resulting in them being so cautious as adults and sometimes manifested as anxiety or nervousness. Healing work can be really good for them.

〰 leo mercury

as kids they may have gotten to much attention or no attention at all resulting them to learn to take charge of the situation as adults. They learned to create boundaries to protect themselves and learned to be as straight forward as possible. some can be people pleasers is underdeveloped.

〰 libra mercury

they probably were criticized or made fun of as kids resulting in them having some kind of insecurity. they likely put a facade around people and act as if everything is fine. they tend to flourish into very reliable people later in their lives.

〰 scorpio mercury

went through a lot as a kid. learned to shut their feelings and isolate. didn't know how to stand up for themselves and all this comes with them even in adulthood. they tend to not trust people's words easily as they have had experiences where there trust was shattered. self love is key.

〰 sagittarius mercury

they felt better at school than at home. probably were pretty know in their school for their humour and smartness. they learned to push away their feelings and to avoid them and rather focus on other things. they probably were the kids making dark jokes about how messed up their life is.

〰 capricorn mercury

they had quite practical parents who taught them things like work and practical skills at a young age. they were told that they must be able to take care of themselves. they learned to communicate in an assertive manner and had good values as kids. their parents weren't that affectionate and could be strict, creating fear around the child of not wanting to disappoint them.

〰 aquarius mercury

they were the kids who either barely talked as kids or were nervous to talk or let their thoughts be heard maybe because when they tried to share their thoughts they were either laughed at or judged. they were called the alien or odd ones of the group. very eccentric people honestly.

〰 pisces mercury

they had difficulty understanding people so they learned to give half answers or vague answers as they didn't want to come off as dumb or wrong in front of others. They probably were the kids who weren't able to stand up for themselves during fights. They may have trouble conveying what they are feeling in the moment.

this post was created by @astrogossipp on tumblr <3 if reposting my work please give credits

1K notes · View notes

ghostlyferrettarot · 7 months ago

Text

🎲🖤Chiron in the signs🖤🎲

❗️All the observations in this post are based on personal experience and research, it's completely fine if it doesn't resonate with everyone❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings)Open!

🎲If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🎲

🗝Masterlist🗝

🗝Chiron reveals where we possibly have wounds, what hurts the most in each of us. With that, this influence guides us through a journey of suffering and liberation throughout life.🗝

🎲Chiron in Aries: is a more individualistic, impetuous and impulsive energy and such influence can "hurt." is affected by a possible feeling of worthlessness. These are people who may not value themselves (or may not know the exact measure of their value). Therefore, he should not fear his initiatives nor his own strength. At some point in life, the native must embark on a journey of self-discovery to overcome any feelings of helplessness that arise during life.

🎲Chiron in Taurus: can give rise to some problems related to insecurity or self-esteem. They may resent not considering themselves attractive or for some physical attribute that they dislike. Insecurity can also be due to the scarcity of some material good that he considers essential. It can be money, property, in short, anything he needs to feel safe and stable. Once he achieves such achievements and goals, insecurity will tend to decrease. People with this positioning have to learn to value themselves more in order to heal.

🎲Chiron in Gemini: May indicate a need to find your own voice. They can be very imaginative and creative but can have some problems expressing themselves. They relate more to their outgoing and spiritual side, some seek time for seclusion, introspection, and reflection. Individuals have difficulty learning rigorously, mechanically, but they still acquire knowledge by paying attention, capturing the deeper messages.

🎲Chiron in Cancer: Those with this positioning are more likely to feel out of place, sometimes thinking that they are not loved or that they do not receive enough love and attention. These are people who are more inclined to care for others, but they also need to be cared for. Learning to take care of their own needs is the key to balance, so they can feel complete. Opening your heart and accepting the love of others is also essential to healing any inner pain that may arise.

🎲Chiron in Leo: It can influence some feelings of dismissal, which eventually causes these people to feel unrecognized or not feel creative enough. These natives may think that their talents are or have been neglected, they may feel that they never had the opportunity to shine. The difficulty they demonstrate in expressing their own talents may be due to a repressed childhood or other various situations. To help overcome it, the individual needs to find a way to get closer to her inner child and awaken her creativity.

🎲Chiron in Virgo: may indicate possible changes in health or the feeling that personal problems are never definitively resolved. This influence can give the person a different way of dealing with the body, healing and health, in addition to work and routine. It can make the individual overly critical. It is recommended to learn to face imperfection, something that can be very difficult for them. . The fact is, since they tend to naturally be a perfectionist, they could use this trait where it is most welcome: in the spheres of healing and work.

🎲Chiron in Libra: May suggest possible problems in relationships with people. Relationships with some individuals may be more difficult and you may constantly have to deal with someone who is rude or rude. Or someone selfish or unfair. It may also indicate that this person is more likely to feel hurt or rejected in a relationship. You need to contain your impulses to achieve everything that the Libran scale means. The solution may involve better communication, more harmonious relationships, and the use of logic and common sense.

🎲Chiron in Scorpio: may suggest resentments or losses, material or symbolic throughout life. may, in some ways, suffer losses at an early age. Or feeling like a part of yourself has died due to irreparable losses. He may be afraid of his power to "dive" into the hearts of others, just as he may feel helpless. You are advised to enjoy life more lightly, because even when we lose something or someone, our life goes on and we can still become richer and more experienced with what we have or achieve.

🎲Chiron in Sagittarius: may suggest a certain lack of incentive in life or possible ruptures in your beliefs and values. In the sign of Sagittarius it may suggest wounds in the person's structure of faith or natural enthusiasm, which may have been discredited or missing. had no incentive. This positioning may suggest a break with spiritual traditions or teachings that may cause pain. People with this positioning may feel confined to a mundane existence. When you realize that there is wisdom in your own heart, your healing process begins.

🎲Chiron in Capricorn: May suggest some difficulty achieving goals in life and dealing with authority. It can suggest the difficulties that an individual may have in satisfying his or her greatest desires. From an early age, his ambition may have been restricted or he may have encountered many obstacles that were difficult to overcome. Perhaps you have lacked incentive from family or friends, or you have encountered inflexible bosses, etc. To overcome this, these natives must believe in themselves again, because then they will have more energy to pursue their ambitions.

🎲Chiron in Aquarius: can suggest wounds in collective concepts, freedom or personal originality. It may suggest feelings of inadequacy and social rejection. Aquarius brings a desire for freedom, originality, and the collective good, and such positioning can undermine such things, making the individual eventually feel uncomfortable dealing with people, groups, and tribes, and more likely to feel disconnected or isolated. To find the path to healing, they must learn to be themselves and appreciate their differences. This can be a difficult lesson, as some are not as comfortable in their own skin.

🎲Chiron in Pisces: may suggest wounds in beliefs, intuition, and the willingness to help those in need. People with this positioning in their birth chart may have been wounded by being wrong about others, suffering disappointments or betrayals. It suggests possible existential crises. This individual may eventually suffer a religious or spiritual crisis or lose faith in the world and others. They must balance their feelings and understand that there are disappointments along the way, but they can be overcome. That way, they will be able to find a cure for their problems.

641 notes · View notes

heartlilith · 1 year ago

Text

Astrology Observations

Here are some of my observations and opinions on various placements - Part 1

🖤Taurus placements are definitely the most stubborn fixed sign of all - My mom and sister are both Taurus, my dad is a Scorpio, my brothers are both Aquarius, I'm a Leo and I'm telling you... those Taurus's are something else

🎱One thing I will say is although Taurus placements are stubborn, they can whip it up in the kitchen like nobody's business

🖤A mix of Aries and Capricorn in the chart would make the perfect police officer tbh

🎱If your Mars is transiting your 8th house, be careful around machinery; cars, knives, tools, etc because accidents tend to happen with this transit... especially if there's harsh aspects; Mars-Pluto, Mars-Uranus, Mars-Neptune, and Mars-Saturn

🖤OPINION: This isn't based on facts but I think Pisces/Neptune dominant natives can either come into this life as an old or new soul. Some of these people that I've met seem completely lost in this life; drug use, behavioral problems, homelessness, just lost - like they're living and navigating this life for the first time. Other Pisces placements I've met get their Neptunian traits to work for them instead of against them, which can make them geniuses of some sort - like they've lived this life 100 times before and have finally mastered it. Obviously this depends on aspects and I think all these natives have the ability to be smart and spiritual... I guess it's a matter of how they use their Neptunian traits.

🎱Venus in the 2nd house wants to be spoiled by their partner, it's giving sugar baby energy

🖤Moon-Asc aspects, Moon in the 1st, and Cancer rising natives wear their emotions ... like everyone knows what you're feeling babe its all over your face!

🎱Romeo definitely had his Moon and Venus in Juliet's 8th house

🖤Sun and/or Moon transiting the 12th house is asking you to rest, reflect, and recharge

🎱This is debatable but Libras are the golden retrievers of the zodiac

🖤The degree of your sun sign can indicate when your life really shifted... my sun sign is in the 9th degree and that's the age my parents split and my childhood was over :)

🎱A mix of Gemini and Pisces in a chart can indicate having a foot fetish

🖤People with their sun sign as your moon sign can indicate that you love their cooking

🎱People with their rising sign as your moon sign make really good friends because they just *get* you and your way of thinking

🖤People with their Venus/Mars sign as your Sun sign are great at hyping you up and making you feel good about yourself

🎱People with their Venus/Mars sign as your rising sign means they think you're good looking, you're their "type"

🖤Has anyone else noticed that prominent Gemini placements in a chart usually makes the individual blonde?

1K notes · View notes

elysiansparadise · 23 days ago

Text

Analysis of Taurus Rising in the composite chart

🖤Having a Taurus rising in the composite chart shows us that this relationship happens as a slow burn, one that is sensual, intriguing and in which both end up completely drawn and fascinated with the other. Both tend to seek security, pleasure, and a practical approach to building a relationship that is not only loving, but lasting. The relationship may move slowly as both people prefer to take their time to solidify the connection. This couple has a mission in the relationship and that is to provide each other with emotional and physical security. There is a strong desire to be there for each other, to give themselves to the relationship and work together to make things work. They want this relationship to be solid and stable in the face of any issue or adversity, and they are not the type of couple to seek to separate when faced with the not-so-fantasy-like sides of relationships, as they are quite realistic and sensible. They can look and feel more attractive when they start a relationship, together they look very good and they can find an aesthetic or style that suits them very well.

🖤When we observe Gemini in the 2nd house, it symbolizes that this couple needs the other to constantly provide verbal reassurance, precisely because they both share this need, it is easy for them to reassure the other. This couple highly prioritizes maintaining constant communication and seeks to keep it free of any atmosphere of tension. One of the things that makes them greatly value this connection is the excellent intellectual chemistry that exists, in addition to deeply admiring each other's intelligence and trusting their judgment, since they provide each other with this feeling of common sense and realism. This position makes both of them generous and very fluid with the other in terms of tangible demonstrations of love, especially gifts. They don't mind using their money on each other, in fact they love spoiling each other with gifts and little surprises making them quite generous. They deeply value taking their sweet time to get to know aspects of each other's personality in order to understand and love them better.

🖤Having Cancer in the 3rd house makes it easy for this couple to verbalize their feelings with the other, the most vulnerable side of their being and feel that the other will not only make them feel protected and loved when they break up, but also seen and taken into account. They have an ease of expressing their emotional needs to others, because they know that they will listen to them and do everything possible to take them into account. Opening up about your past and childhood can be very easy for both of you. They will protect each other's secrets, they will be prudent, considerate and very gentle in their way of speaking. They value honesty, yes, but they will never seek to hurt others for it. They may love doing household activities together and will be curious to know what it is like to live with each other. This position favors a comfortable experience in case you take that step of moving in together. In their communication there could have been that feeling of familiarity from the beginning, which made it easier for them to feel safe about opening up.

🖤Leo in the 4th house tells us that the emotional world of the relationship is tinged with warmth, active and loud displays of affection, and the mix between tenderness and passion. The adoration they have for each other and that frequent way of showing the other that they are your priority gives them a great feeling of emotional security. This couple will never miss the past of what their relationship was, because it will be easy for them to enjoy the present and feel that right now they have everything they need with each other. The fun, expressiveness and attraction between you lasts over time, as well as that particular way in which your hearts beat knowing that you will spend time with each other. This couple can comfort themselves after a difficult day with praise, hugs and trying to make the other see their virtues and abilities in themselves. Being with each other is a source of trust and encouragement in which your insecurities disappear and you immerse yourself in the love that your partner offers you.

🖤In the 5th house, Virgo makes both have a deep devotion and romantic loyalty towards each other, they feel the strong calling to be constant with their partner. Love within the relationship is expressed through acts of service and mutual care. They love to plan together, organize their time together to do things that make them both happy. They are capable of leaving their comfort zone to make their partner feel happy (for example, trying hobbies they never tried or leaving their guarded personality aside to try and be more in touch with their romantic side). Time with their partner will never feel like a waste for either of them. Both see it necessary to constantly work on the romanticism of the relationship so that it is not lost over time, even if it is through subtle or small ways. They are the kind of couples who plan things for a long time for each other, taking care of every detail. This couple does a lot of taking care of each other, cooking for each other, spoiling each other or helping them resolve issues that arise.

🖤Libra being in the 6th house causes this couple to have the ability to romanticize the small moments with each other. For them it is not necessary that it be an anniversary or birthday to cherish the other, fill them with love or gifts, rather this can be something that they do very frequently. They have the ability to make the most mundane moments something loving and beautiful for their partner. They love to fill each other with happiness, to show the other that every day by their side is a blessing, something for which they feel grateful. Dates and small romantic outings are frequent and somewhat classy, opting for outings to restaurants or places that bring back beautiful memories of the relationship. You can include small romantic gestures toward each other in your routine, kisses before going to work, an ‘I love you’ before going to sleep, and an ‘I miss you’ message at midday. All of this is important to this couple because they think their partner deserves to be reminded of how much they love them.

🖤With Scorpio in the 7th house there is a strong devotion between them, a total surrender of body, mind and spirit. From the beginning there was this lethal attraction towards the other, that desire to explore everything about that person who seemed to you the most fascinating mystery. They feel that it is right in the arms of their partner where they belong and where they are safest. This couple stands out for being able to see the truth in each other, no masks on, no sugarcoating, only the rawest and most irresistible truth, which makes them a united, understanding and strong couple. This couple usually shows their love through physical contact [... a lot of physical contact] and, to strengthen their bond, they are always open to talking about their emotions, revealing themselves to each other and allowing themselves to be vulnerable. There are high levels of trust and compatibility between the two, it may be so much that they may think it is the first time they desire and love someone with such intensity.

🖤When we talk about the intimacy of this couple, it is necessary to take a look at Sagittarius in the 8th house. This placement tells us about a fiery, fun and extremely pleasant atmosphere in the bedroom, a desire to explore your partner and mutually succumb to all those desires that awaken the lips, touch and appearance of the other. They want to enjoy their partner's body as much as their energy allows, it's addictive, it feels too good and so natural. They want to know every fantasy, every desire that the other buried deep just to explore the crazy and unbridled sides of the one that drives them mad. They feel like they can't get enough of each other, of their ecstasy and pleasure, they find themselves wanting more and more of each other, getting where no one else has been able to. This also applies in the field of emotional intimacy, there is a strong desire to navigate the depths of the other, to know the sides that not everyone sees, to know who they truly are, what made them who they are.

🖤Having Capricorn in the 9th house tells us about the type of people they are, they are not people who enjoy focusing only on living in the moment, they are looking for something long-term, building something stable for both of them and striving for the relationship to prosper for a long time. They know perfectly well that they want the other to stay to be their life partner for as long as possible. Both love to think and plan for the future, visualizing their partner right where they belong, at their side. They want to create a relationship that has exactly what they both value and want from a relationship, that the other does not feel dissatisfied in any area and that they are always clear that the other will be there to support them no matter the difficulty or tense moments in life. . Both can bring a lot of stability to each other's lives and a more realistic and lasting vision of relationships. They both want to make their partner's wishes a reality, to give each other everything they once thought they wouldn't have in a relationship because of the feeling of ‘dreaming too big’.

🖤The presence of Aquarius in the 10th house tells us that this couple has high ideals and aspirations in the relationship, they want to do many things together, be together in the long term and above all, do things differently, either from how they did it or the examples they have seen in other people. They want this relationship to not be like what they have experienced or seen before. People see a lot of mutual acceptance in this couple, a union full of camaraderie but in which both allow themselves to be independent and do their own thing. Both want the other to go after their goals and support each other in the process, they do not hinder their partner's path, rather they inspire and encourage them. It is possible that many people look up to your relationship and often attract comments of "I want something like that." It can make them feel very comfortable knowing that your partner will always respect your personal time and will not be invasive or controlling.

🖤Having the sign of Pisces in the 11th house shows us that this couple has many shared goals and dreams, likewise, they inspire each other to go after what they dream of or see as distant. They have no problem adapting to the other or giving in sometimes. The couple has a romantic and utopian approach towards their long-term goals, they can fantasize about a future together and it is likely that from the beginning they will visualize themselves together, even before formalizing. There is a strong idealism and a sense that together they can create something magical and meaningful, a precious relationship that makes them feel fulfilled in every way, especially emotionally and spiritually. Both can be a very good influence in each other's lives, making the other appreciate life and motivating each other to improve gradually although on their own, always hand in hand with the other.

🖤Having Aries in the 12th house shows us that from the beginning this tension could have existed between you, perhaps because of the way you looked at each other or how you talked with each other. Both can easily awaken drive, impulsivity and desire in its most fiery and lustful form in the other. It is likely that, regardless of how they both project themselves, they were capable of perceiving a dominant and strong energy in the other, something by which they see themselves reflected and attracted. Both of you can be a source of mutual protection and, in times of crisis, you will find yourself acting quickly and bravely. Aries here shows us the search for solving issues or discussions in private and, in some cases, having the tendency to repress their anger or frustration.

#astrology #composite chart #rising #asc #ascendent #rising in the composite chart #taurus rising in the composite chart #composite taurus rising #taurus ascendant in the composite chart #taurus asc in the composite chart #taurus

250 notes · View notes

graphedpaper · 5 months ago

Text

Renter Problems 4

yandere!celebrity x fem!reader

Synopsis: Your once childhood nuisance turned celebrity, turned aggressor, is advancing further and further into his delusions, pushing past your boundaries in any way he sees fit. He won't even let you shower by yourself or get a cup of water to quench your dry throat. Just how much of your autonomy is he going to invade, and why is he doing this? Details: Verbal abuse, NSFW, manipulation, fem reader, kidnapping, non-con, masturbation, delusional thinking Warning: NSFW, Non-Con

The warm late morning sunlight glows on your face as you rustle up from your slumber. Your eyelids drudge open, and you blink a couple of times to wake yourself. You slowly sit up using your tied arms, your elbows digging into the biggest mattress you've ever seen.

The first thought that comes into your hazy mind is the sore hunger pains coming from your empty stomach. You look down at yourself. You're still wearing your top and pants from almost 2 or 3 days ago, and you're not sure what day it is exactly.

And when you hear heavy footsteps nearing the bedroom door you immediately remember what happened yesterday and the tenseness returns, making your whole body sore. You try not to dwell on it, but you remember where you are now fully and completely.

You need to escape.

As the tall, smooth white panel door opens inwards you slump back down into bed. You don't have the energy to stay on guard, and you're past starving. Everything feels light, especially your limbs, yet they also simultaneously feel tied down by ten ton weights.

"Hey, did you sleep well?" He asks walking towards you with a cup of hot tea. Good, you were parched.

You manage to croak out a 'yes' and he sits beside you, placing down the beverage to help you up. He strokes your hair as he picks the mug back up with his right hand. You reach for it, bracing for the hot ceramic to touch your palms, but instead, Jacob brings it to his lips, leaving you dumbfounded at his blatant selfishness.

"Oh, you wanted it?" He asks, with a dumbfounded look on his face.

You stare blankly at him back.

'Oh, no Jacob, it's fine, I don't want something to drink after being starved and kidnapped for days.' You think, sarcastic and bitter. Yes, you did want the fucking tea after he threw you around, threatened to cut your finger and neck, and came in your mouth.

"Of course my pretty girl can share with me." He adds sweetly. So sweetly in fact, it makes you question if what happened yesterday truly happened. What was going on? Were you being kidnapped? He hands you the steaming drink and with awkward T-rex arms you manage to lift the cup to your dry lips and take a few sips. The restraints on your wrist... It's awkward, it's janky, it's uncomfortable. The metal cuffs keep cutting into your skin and you can barely do anything.

"Jacob-" You start, attempting to ask him to unlock the handcuffs.

He shoots you a look. A 'don't say it and ruin the mood' look. It sends you a gut-tossing chill, muting whatever you were going to ask him to do.

" Babe, I found this great brunch place for us to try. You must be starving huh?" He quickly jumps to a different subject, before you even have a chance to ask him to take the handcuffs off of you, or let that dangerous stare of his sink in.

Brunch? Like as in a restaurant in public? Somewhere you could get help? Your scheming begins and your heartbeat rises at the chance of being saved.

"I was so worried, because you haven't eaten in a while."

Jacob can see it on your face and he can see it in your eyes. That flash of determination that he hated throughout childhood. The cancer that was infecting this pure love, it had to be cut out and blazed. He could almost hear you plotting your escape from the relationship.

"I ordered it to go, it'll be here soon." He tells He announces to you.

"Oh." You say in crestfallen hopelessness. Your stomach growls.

"I hope this can count as our new start." He adds on.

You try to hide your desperation from his observant eyes as your chance of escaping seems to start withering away. Perhaps focus on something else?

You look into his golden eyes. Today he's wearing a soft-looking grey long-sleeve and loose-fitting cargos. His silver watch on his left hand had been making a ticking sound this whole time, and you hadn't noticed in your narrow-sighted distress. He had clean clothes and a lovely shiny watch, while your hair was a mess, your clothes old.

"What can I wear? Can I take a shower?" You ask him abruptly. You didn't feel like a human anymore, you felt more like an animal. You needed to get away from him, at least temporarily. He scared you, his weird switches in behaviour, from doting to violent.

"I'll give you a bath, and your old clothes are in the other closet." He responds smiling.

Oh god, please, god if you're real don't allow him to give me a bath, please god.

"Jacob, please, just let me shower on my own." You beg. He hadn't seen you naked yet, and it was one of the last dignities you could hold on to.

"You're too weak, now stop it." He snaps, annoyance flashing his face.

And you do, you shut up like the helpless prey you are. And now he'll to see you stripped and all, his hands over your bare body-

'You're not a helpless prey,' you think to yourself. 'Don't ever think like that, especially not in a situation like this.' Didn't you know this well enough? For humans, morale was the most important thing in survival, it didn't matter if the heart was beating or not, first and foremost it was mind had to stay alive.

You blink back tears and slide yourself off the bed, following him to the washroom. He sees it, and perhaps he feels pity for your pathetic form, because he tells you to give him your hands. Hesitantly, you place your restrained hands in his, unsure what he'll do. You wait for him to reach into his left pocket, where he brings out a small flat key, which he uses to unlock your handcuffs.

So that's where he keeps the keys to the handcuff.

You shake out your wrists, free from the restraints and you feel- so light. You try not to look too hard at the red cuts and marks around them from the prolonged use, they give you mind-numbingly painful reminders of the terror you're facing.

"I'll put some ointment on it, okay?" He says, gently, while hovering his fingers above the injuries.

He leads you across his wide bedroom to his bathroom. It's like another room on its own, grand with marble, and a great bathtub overlooking the view of the vast backyard pool.

He turns the faucet of the sleek bathtub, as the water rushes down and echoes the room with the sound of falling splashes hitting porcelain.

You stand near him, not daring to move an inch without the weight of your cuffs. He turns back to you and starts to pull your shirt off. You reluctantly lift your arms up to help him and you quickly cover yourself. You cross your arms over your bare chest and avoid Jacob's burning stare at you. To Jacob, you were overreacting. Why were you so insistent on acting innocent and shy in a relationship? What's the big deal seeing his girlfriend's tits? For fuck's sake, you'd already sucked him off, hadn't you?

You try to take yourself out of this experience while he pulls your pants down, leaving you down to your underwear. You knew this was his motive, but you can almost hear his arousal. The hot, buzzing excitement, disguised as a caring gesture revolts you. He wasn't really washing you out of concern of you being 'too weak', he just wanted to control you and see you naked.

"I can do it!" You exclaim, breaking the silent tension. His fingers linger on the waistband of your underwear. You don't dare to push his hands off of you, but you do step away from his touch.

Jacob brushes his loose hair back with his hand and sighs.

"Babe, please, let's not fight over this, let me take care of you." He says, seemingly exasperated.

He pinches the elastic of your underwear and slowly pulls it down in not very well concealed anticipation. It's a light pink pantie with a small ribbon, you probably got it as a value set from a cheap store. If it was up to you, you wouldn't have to wear this juvenile shit anymore, you'd wear something... tinier. Lacier.

He holds his breath in excitement and when the last piece of your self-preserved dignity on you falls in a pile to your feet he takes a good look. Quick, but a good look nonetheless. That was a mistake though, because now he's harder than steel. He desperately wants to push you against the wall. Hear your heart start to beat faster as your arousal drips between your legs.

He won't do it now, don't worry, you're too weak at the moment. He may get excited at times, but he's no rapist. Instead, he lifts you up onto the sinktop. Dipping his finger into a small pot, he gathers a dollop of clear gel. As he starts to apply the cool gel on your sore wrists, an herbal smell invades your nose. You try to observe him, see if he feels guilt that these injuries were from him. But he remains seemingly unfazed and without shame, as if these cuts appeared from nowhere.

"Shouldn't you apply it after the wash?" You ask.

"Oh, right." He says, laughing.

You force yourself to crack a smile. Jacob wipes the gel off his fingers.

"It's fine, we can apply it before and after, anything for you." Jacob tells you.

Jacob can't help but feel hopeful. It seemed like you were already warming up to him. Of course, right now, maybe you were just faking it, but soon, it would become habit, then it would become a part of you. Then, it would be you, truly you. You would love him, laughing by his side, whether in bed or on the red carpet. No one could deny it, could they? You wanted to drink the tea from the cup he drank from, and you let him help you change out of your clothes, you even smiled at him. Yeah, you were definitely falling for him as well, slowly, but surely. He saw you as a mother of his children, but he could also see you on all fours, being fucked into whenever he wished for. You were so special to him.

The splattering sound of the water quiets down, and the swirling steam rises from the water.

He uses his right hand to check the temperature, and when he decides it's fine, he comes over to lift you from the waist into bridal position, carefully lowering you into the wide tub, akin to a baptism of a baby. He's gentle and caring, allowing you to adust to the hot water.

You turn your head to the wide window, and you can see atop the long, large trees, lush green leaves shaking in the gentle breeze. You can almost imagine that warm sunlight smell, the one that saturates the world in richness and sticks on your clothes, the wind blowing your hair. That summer bliss you experienced as a young girl. You didn't deserve this, to be held captive. You deserved to be a teen girl with her friends looking forward to starting college. Jacob's turned his back, reaching into the drawers for soap, or something, and for those few seconds, his distracted self tempts you to escape like honey to an ant. You want so badly to get up and sprint out, but the fear stops you. When he comes back you avert your eyes to the clear water. Jacob smiles. Your bare skin under the slow-moving water ripples, it's distorted but there.

"You like waffles?" He asks suddenly, kneeling down behind your head as he squirts a cool liquid onto your scalp, sending tingles down your spine. He massages it into your hair as a fresh, rosemary scent wafts around you, the aromatic bubbles starting to form into suds.

"Waffles? They're okay." You reply, uncomfortable at how comfortable you were becoming. Fuck, why was this relaxing? The hot water invaded all your senses and it soothed your tense body.

"What do you want to eat then?" He asks, his hands working at your wet hair.

"Anything's fine, I'm starving." You reply

And it's true, you couldn't possibly care if it's a waffle or a pancake. Hell, give the peeled skin of a potato and you just might eat it with the fervor of a child and a chocolate cake.

Jacob bristles at the word 'starving'. It's just how you said it, almost as if you're accusing him of your pain. It's not his fault, it's yours that you couldn't stay up until a few minutes to eat. It's not like he prevented you from eating, so why were you saying it like that? Why were you constantly treating him like that?

"You fell asleep before dinnertime." He states accusively, his voice going from calm to stiff.

"I know." You reply back, sensing his rigid form behind you.

You don't have to look back to visualize his face, dark twisted eyebrows and a deep, wronged frown. It's best to agree with him in a passive, neutral manner, at least when he's swinging from one emotion to the next. He doesn't feel like a person, he feels like a bomb you must cradle to your chest, one wrong move causing it to detonate and kill you.

There falls a moment of quiet while he rinses the soap from your hair. The only sounds are the gentle splashes of water and scrubbing of soap. He takes a sweet citrus-smelling body wash scrub, washing your arms and torso. He takes his time to wash your legs, and his fingers linger in between your thighs. His fingers brush against your clit and you sit up straighter, alert.

"You might get an infection if I don't clean it well enough, I've heard about it," He explains.

But it's a lame justification, because you both know what he's actually doing. Infection, my ass. He's at the side of the tub now, still knelt down, and his index finger makes a light circle clockwise on your bud, twice. It may have been a mistake the first time, but now it's intentional. You can't help but gasp in horror. You mentally smack yourself in the face, and pray he doesn't take the gasp as encouragement to continue.

"Jacob," You whisper, turning to his face to look at his expression.

His eyes stare back at you, a dark greed filling his face.

"Jacob, not right now," You try to tell him again.

"You'll like it, I promise. It'll feel good." He replies, focusing on making tight circles on your clit as you fidget your legs and splash some water over the edge. Your clit swells with a new type of arousal, and you don't know if it's the heat from the water, or something more internal. Jacob enjoys the scene playing out before him, your body contorting to handle the pleasure he's giving to you, while you try to stay still for him. You're so compliant. You contain any sound that might escape, in fear of egging him on to continue further.

"You wanted this to happen, huh? You asked for a shower? Knowing I wouldn't be able to resist your naked body?" He asks mockingly. He rubs your engorged clit faster, and you clutch the sides of the tub with knuckle-white hands.

You want to deny his words but a moan slips past your lips as that familiar pressure builds up inside you. You want to scream at him to stop but your mind flashes back to the knife he held to your neck, the needle he used to sedate you. He finds satisfaction in your unravelling, all by him, and he can't help but palm his own arousal underneath his pants.

"Jacob, too much!" You whimper.

Oh god, it feels good, but if I come he'll take it as encouragement, oh god, oh no,

"It's okay, you can come, I know I'm making you feel good, so don't shy away." He tells you sweetly, adoring that flushed look on your face, the warmth that comes from your gratification of his touch. It validates him, to see you lose control like this. All those celebrity bitches were already sluts that were used to sex, but you were simpler to please. He could never let you go, you were the only one he could do this to. He's too distracted by his fantasies of you and him, to notice your orgasm as your legs tremble and your moans become a background as he mindlessly draws more circles on your sensitive clit. How would you react to him proposing? Somewhere public, of course, where everyone could see the love you two shared. What about a sweet baby boy, who could grow up to be another successful actor, just like his dad? After that, a beautiful young girl, that looked just like you and him. She could easily become a model with those looks.

Your pleas for him to stop over-stimulating your poor self brings him back to ground as he smiles at your exhausted face.

"Good girl, now let's get you dressed so we can eat."

-----

You two are sitting down on the sofa to have brunch. Jacob finds it more intimate, and casual, than sitting at the dining table. Besides, the dining table brings back bad memories, don't they? While you're devouring liège waffles with intense speed, Jacob has an egg sandwich.

"Is it good?" Jacob asks you.

Jacob wishes you'd instigate more conversations. He wants you to thank him for the orgasm, and the food. Throw up some compliments, and smile at him like you did in the washroom. Can't you stop eating for just a minute and talk to him?

"It's good, where'd you get them?" You ask, and you instantly raise an eyebrow at your own tone after you say this. You said it a little too normal for your own liking.

Could you be getting used to this? How could you act so nonchalant in a kidnapping? Was this kidnapping?

"There's this stupid guy I know. He cooks, owns a few restaurants." He responds vaguely.

"Why stupid?" You ask him, noticing the look of distaste on his face.

"He's an heir to the throne of some country, but he put it on pause and now he causes trouble here." Jacob says. He looks agitated just talking about him.

You're surprised.

"Really? He turned down the chance to be king?" You prod more, eager for any chance to bring Jacob's guard down.

"Yeah." He answers curtly.

Jacob sighs and looks back at you enjoying your waffles and he can almost feel a warm happiness filling everything broken inside him, like molten gold. You were the best girlfriend, you made him want to be better.

You can feel his eyes on you.

It's disturbing.

"Do you have work today?" You ask, avoiding eye contact with him and staring at a painting on the wall.

"No, today's off." He answers, still looking at you, with his arm over the couch in a relaxed manner.

Well, any predator would be relaxed when faced with a puny prey.

You realize then and there that you've lost track of the date.

"Wait, what's the date today?" You ask him.

Jacob hesitates to tell you. He doesn't know why, why he wants to with hold this information from you, it simply feels wrong to tell you something that relates to the outside world. It's a strange feeling that he's never sensed before, he's really not sure of the reasoning he has inside for his avoidance to tell you the date. It then irritates him a bit, that you would ask something like that when you two were enjoying a meal together. You weren't eating with the whole world, you were eating with him. So your attention should be on him.

"Saturday." He finally answers after a few seconds, lying through his playful grin.

You accept his answer, and make a note to not lose track again. You each go back to working at your individual late breakfast when another question forms rapidly in your mind and blurts out from your mouth before you can stop it.

"Where's my laptop and phone?" You ask him.

Jacob pauses eating and turns his body towards you. You can't decipher this look. But it's dangerous, it's dark, it's a warning. You look back at him, not daring to break this twisted version of a staring contest.

"Maybe you'd like to go outside." He says, ignoring your question.

And you immediately understand what he means. Perhaps you wouldn't have before, but you're starting to understand his nature. This is not just an aversion of your question, it's a threat, that he will keep you inside for however long he pleases if you don't act the way he wants you to act. That reply serves as a reminder to you that he's in control here. That it's either you do what he wants and gain some freedom, or remain locked up.

"Yes, that would be nice," You reply, meekly.

"Good, we can go sometime when you're ready."

Jacob pauses, in thought.

"But for now let's stay inside. We can watch my new movie."

#yandere drabbles #yandere male #male yandere #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere stories #tw yandere #yandere celebrity #yandere imagine #yandere #yandere imagines #possesive love #possesive yandere #possessive boyfriend #yandere boyfriend #renter problems #yandere smut #smut

399 notes · View notes

coco-loco-nut · 9 months ago

Text

Look for the Light

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Best Friend!Reader

Summary: You are Oscar’s best friend, but when you get sick, how is he going to cope

TW: cancer, death, grief

You will probably cry, I did while writing it at 3am

Based off of the song from Only Murders in the Building

requests are open! masterlist

———————————

Being Oscar’s best friend was the best thing you had achieved in your life, and you made sure the both of you knew it. You grew up a few houses from each other and from the moment you both met, you were inseparable. Spending your childhood on the beach, playing and having adventures of a lifetime. He never minded going to explore with you, especially the lighthouses, they fascinated you. The silent call, the notion of looking for safety, looking for the light. Oscar adored that about you, it’s why he always wanted to spend time with his best friend.

That didn’t stop when Oscar started karting, in fact, you were his number one supporter. As his career took off, he never missed a chance to hang out with you, nor you with him. Some of his friends back home throughout the years teased him about your relationship, but both of you knew that there was nothing more to it other than the tight knit bond, once that was more akin to siblings than romantic.

It was one early fall weekend that you both were on the beach, near your favorite lighthouse when you collapsed. It shifted your worlds forever. Oscar became more reserved and you spent more and more time in the hospital for treatments.

It was cancer, caught early and quickly curable, plus, you were young and healthy, at least that’s what the doctor said. That’s what you all thought. The doctor was right, at least the first time.

You stopped going to his races, falling out of the racing world’s eye, but the bond between you was stronger than ever, especially as his career took off even more. When you ended up in treatment for the second time, he was even more determined to spend time with you. Even now, he sits by your bedside watching a race. He looks at you closely, your skin losing some color and the adventurous spark dimmed in your eyes.

“I love you, Y/n. I’m scared, I can’t lose you,” Oscar admits one day. You both knew what he meant. You are basically his sister.

“Os, it’s ok. I am too, but we gotta be brave,” you choke a little, tears welling in your eyes. The spark in your eyes has all but dimmed out, you find it harder to get through each day.

Oscar is getting his first real shot at F1, but he doesn’t want to miss a moment with his best friend, the one who he has vet every girl he’s dated, because if anyone knows him best, it’s you. The one person he can keep private from his public life, he can hide your pain and suffering from his crazy world.

“It’s not fair,” his eyes well up. The air is thick, the looming darkness has been settling in, the both of you don’t want to acknowledge the truth of it.

“Oscar,” your frail hand grabs his. “I love you, you are my brother, my closest friend, and I am incredibly grateful that you are in my life. Now, adventure is calling, so go and be brave,” you give him your best smile, not wanting to waste his F1 Australia debut, in Melbourne nonetheless, worrying.

“Y/n, I’ll wait by the shore for you,” he says, and you squeeze his had tighter.

“My love is a lighthouse, look for the light,” you whisper. He glances at the clock and with a heavy heart leaves the room to go to the track. Socials think that he is just going charity visits this week since he is home, but the man is so reserved even Lando can’t get him to talk. He calls every night, and you demand to have the races on while you write in your notebook.

Your family is in the room with you, you had taken a turn for the worse overnight but you didn’t want to worry Oscar, not when the race in Melbourne was today, not when you knew what it meant to him. You finished the poem you were writing as there were ten laps left, the strength to write leaving you.

Your mom tried not to cry as she took the notebook and pen from you, your dad slipping beside you in the bed, holding onto his baby. Your mom called Oscar’s mom, who immediately picked up, knowing what the mid-race call meant.

“It’s time. She wrote to Oscar, and I don’t think she will make it past his media right after the race,” your mom chokes out, tears flowing as she hangs up and gets on the other side of you.

“Look Mom! Oscar is in the points, he made it to P8,” you smile at her weakly, your dad filming your reaction to Oscar crossing the line, but he quickly stops it when your monitor blinks irregularly. A nurse rushes in, having talked with you and your family about this moment earlier in the morning. She pushes medicine so you will be able to step into the light without pain, without suffering.

“It doesn’t hurt, I promise. Tell Oscar I love him, and thank you for every moment. I love you both, thank you for choosing me as your child and loving me forever. I will love you beyond my last breath. Look for the light. Will you sing the song to me?” You ask your mom, tears streaming down your face with a small smile.

“Hush little one, let me sing you to sleep. Moonlight has come so drift off to a dream. Sail from the day to the wonders awaiting you out there, in the deep. Off little one, chase the wind on the wave, adventure is calling so go and be brave. But if you get lost as your tossed in the dark of the sea, look for me,” your mom sings the haunting lullaby, watching your breathing slow. On the TV, the camera pans to Oscar celebrating with his team. Your eyes glimmer with happiness for the last time.

“No, baby, no,” your mom pleads, your dad pulls you tighter into him. With the last bit of energy you can muster, you squeeze their hands as your eyes close and a shuttering breath leaves your body. The screams of a mother can be heard over the flatline. The nurse unplugs your machine as another makes a phone call to Oscar’s mom, something you asked a while ago privately, knowing your parents would be too distraught. The nurses follow your wishes with heavy hearts.

———

Oscar gets back to his driver’s room with a large smile on his face, having just celebrated with the team and gone through media. The first thing he sees is his Mom’s tear stained cheeks and he drops his helmet.

“No,” he whispers.

“She’s gone, Os,” his mom cries, pulling him into a hug. His body wracks with sobs. Lando sees the two and quickly leaves, having intended on congratulating his teammate, but now going to inform the team that Oscar won’t be doing press. Lando wasn’t sure what happened, but he knew it had to be personal and that was enough.

“She’s not gone, she’s not,” Oscar says after a minute. His mom wipes a tear off and looks at him with a mix of pity, sorrow, and compassion. “NO,” Oscar yells, his grief taking over, he slumps on the couch, sobbing more. The light house trinket you gifted him years ago sits on a table, a glint of sun shining off the top, as if to provide a comfort, a goodbye.

“I’m sorry. She asked me not to talk you it got worse last night. Her mom called during the race to let me know,” his mom says gently a few minutes later. Social media buzzes as pictures of Oscar’s tear stained face as he left the paddock spreads and speculation grows, but he stays silent.

The funeral is quick, small, near the beach that is home to your favorite lighthouse. It’s more of a memorial, your family having chosen to go with a closed casket burial because you didn’t want to be remembered in that state. So here Oscar is, outside Cape Otway, sitting on a rock, your unopened letter in his hand. It’s two pages, and he hasn’t had the strength to open the folded pages. He looks at the sunset, it’s rays washing over him. The ocean seems to tell him to open the letters.

Oscar,

Words cannot describe how proud I am of you. My best friend achieved his dream, what more can I ask for? More time? No. It’s odd, writing a letter about my own death. I can only assume how you feel. I’m sorry that I left you, but I never truly did. I’m in the light, I went peacefully and painlessly, surrounded by love. The sunset you see, the stars shining on you, a ray of sunshine bouncing off of something, that’s me. Don’t wait forever by the shore for me, you don’t need to weather each storm, standing by until I return. I will always be with you. Don’t be afraid to grieve, share my light wherever you go, keep me with you and alive in spirit. I love you, my best friend and brother.

Your lighthouse, beyond my last breath,

Y/n

Oscar moves your letter behind the next, his eyes looking at the poem, this one’s writing significantly harder to read. Your weak state evident in the messy lines, but it’s perfect to him.

Os- I finished the lullaby, find comfort in it when you miss me. Look for the light

Hush, little one, let me sing you to sleep

Moonlight has come, now, drift off to a dream

Sail from the day to the wonders awaiting you out there

In the deep

Off little one, chase the wind on the waves

Adventure is calling, so go and be brave

But if you get lost as you're tossed in the dark of the sea

Look for me

I will wait at the shore for you

I will weather each storm standing by 'til

Safe, you return from the night

My love is a lighthouse

So look for the light

The light

I will wait at the shore for you

I will weather each storm standing by 'til

Safe, you return from the night

My love is a lighthouse

So look for the light

The light

Oscar sniffles, carefully pocketing the papers. He pulls out his phone and watches the video he hasn’t dared to open until now, the one your father sent to him, a smile gracing his face as he sees you cheer as he crosses the line, but it drops as he hears the beeping before the video cuts. He looks up at the lighthouse for a minute, taking a picture for his personal memorial, before returning home. He changes his helmets to include a lighthouse, refusing to put one on that doesn’t.

The drivers and the McLaren team notice a shift in the driver when he appears in Baku. Lando takes it upon himself to try and get information from Oscar but fails. Instead Oscar turns to Pierre, Mick, and Charles.

“Her name was Y/n, she was my best friend, my sister. She died shortly after I crossed the finish line in Melbourne,” tears sting the young drivers eyes as he lays out his grief to the two drivers who know his pain better than anyone. Mick encourages Oscar to share the good, not the illness. It isn’t much, but the driver’s spirit has lifted a little bit, and the four agree to share their grief with each other more often, finding a healthy outlet with each other.

Lando only praised his teammate for his strength when asked about that Melbourne day, and reiterated that private matters were just that, private. Shortly after talking with the other three, Oscar sat Lando, Andrea Stella, and Zak down and let them know the basics of what happened.

“I’m sorry man, I didn’t even know you had someone that close to you,” Lando put a hand on Oscar’s shoulder. Oscar looks at the sunset with a sad smile.

“It’s ok, she’s here,” Oscar says, a hand over the lighthouse on his helmet.

oscarpiastri 2 April 2023 • I will wait by the shore for you, look for the light

comments are turned off

#oscar piastri x reader #f1 x reader #oscar piastri imagine #f1 imagine #you will cry #i sobbed #why did i make this #writing at 3am should be illegal

687 notes · View notes