#chaotic evil bitch

[dicktat]

Annual teeth check-up🔥🔥🔥

[ivymarquis]

“Alejandro and Valeria must have had a terrible falling out”

“Maybe Alejandro and Valeria used to date”

What if Valeria stole Alejandro’s girl, huh? Y’all ever think about THAT?? Because I do. A lot. And yes Im writing something about it.

[six-demon-bag]

it is INHUMANE i cant use song lyrics to title my schmidty fics!! do not look at me creating this stupid title scheme and refusing to change, i thought i would write like one to three fic of him !!

that was 23 fics ago. btw. if youre wondering why i am in distress

[smtown-tourist]

Taemin exposing SM for underpaying their staff:

Meanwhile, Jonghyun is sitting in heaven and watching him like:

Jonghyun: That’s my baby! I raised him right!

[szethsmom]

Can’t believe I never shared this here!! Stunning art of my oc by @liltumgrum 🥺

(Posted with permission)

[pohlepen]

frankie has a younger half brother named owen that i wanna eventually make a blog for (maybe i'll make him a side blog now that we can reply from sideblogs????), but the most important thing to know is that he had a really good upbringing and was loved and safe and their father got clean + sober for THIS second family. and the worst thing that happens to owen is frankie finding him and telling him about her life, because it rocks owen's shit to his core because this whole time he was loving his dad and living his life and there was nothing wrong or bad. and then he finds out that this person he looked up to and respected was totally different and it feels like he never actually knew him at all.

[rjam9]

best thing about ruin dlc is that Eclispe sounds like a normal guy after Sun&Moon sounded completely insane. worst thing is obviously that they turned Gregory into a bitch and not even a fun one

[deangirldisease]

i have to say now that ive almost finished the whole acofaf campaign and seen someone else dm it REALLY fucking shows that brennans a larp camp adult (affectionate)

[xmoriartea]

So with Tanner magically smarter from a book and Ireena’s new manor perfectly hallowed and safe from undead (say “thank you Umberlee”) - we were starting to feel a little... good? Powerful? Ready to take on anything? 

So now a dose of humility.

Turns out casually mentioning the existence of a vampire hunter to a Strahd simp has consequences— TANNER

Well... he wasn’t a successful vampire hunter at any rate. We’ve been doing the heavy lifting here. But we had other things to deal with besides finding van Richeten — namely a return to the Lake Zarovich DLC (RIP van Richten, you might be missed)

And yes, a later sending to dear Volenta to see how she was doing revealed that she was soooo boooorrrrreeedddd because Strahd was busy with a guest/war criminal. 

So yeah. In Ravenloft it is.

So Tanner had sent our zombie friend from von Holtz’s estate to our merfriend Merrick and had had Alkali send to Merrick like ‘so you have a guest coming, can you just nudge it to the shore near us at some point?’ because Kalina did NOT like that Tanner zombied a boy. So she gathered the diamonds needed to fix him and Alkali agreed to take care of the ceremony.

Turns out. Barovia gets weird when you try to resurrect a zombie and Alkali basically went to war with the Dark Powers to pull a soul out of their grasp and fix this boy. Which... introduced us to some concepts... like the fact not everyone has a soul in Barovia. Alkali felt the presence of Umberlee in that ritual, felt the goddess herself rip a soul from the hands of the Dark Powers... but when they all got back to the village... some things were... off about the person they’d brought back. He didn’t remember his name.. his favorite dishes didn’t match...

Cue a crisis from the death priestess who believes there is a very STRICT order to the way of things — souls exist. And they go to the gods when their time runs out. Barovia was... broken...

But thankfully it was also broken in more actionable at the moment ways, and they found out from Merrick there was another merfolk sanctuary in the lake and that he was still unsure what their fate had become. So Alkali tentatively reached out to another fey that, should she have lived the events of the Mists and what have you, would still be alive some 400+ years later.

Some sendings later, Alkali found out yes. Merrick’s friend was alive. And there were merfolk still in the lake, but merrow had enslaved them and trapped his friend Araxia.

Souls? Messy. Hard. Complicated. Very high level divine concepts.

Hitting a merrow? Easy. Straight forward. A fun aside from the souls hell.

The attack on the sanctuary went mostly well. We started taking out everyone who got aggro and started encouraging the merfolk to find shelter if they couldn’t fight. We found two twin merfolk, Nadia and Taron, who were VERY READY to fight and they started to assist their people a little more while we moved onto the Main Bitch as they roughly put it.

Things went less well there... because she was a fucking lich....

But we did it. God Christ it hurt but we did it. It should be illegal to cast chain lightning under water, just saying. But we made it. And Alkali definitely took the time to spread the good word of Umberlee to these recently freed merfolk between her and Arabelle sitting with Mina until the feeblemind wore off/could be broken in the morning.

After a bit of rest and more funeral duties were needed at the Sanctuary, the party decided to chase rumors of a wizard in the mountains north of the lake and managed to find a... well a badger. Who was a wizard. Tanner was able to convince the man to trust him despite the babbling nonsense and Tanner identified the spell his mind was under, leading Mina to restore him. 

Turns out, not a mad wizard like Alkali feared, just a cursed one. And one who knew Tanner’s parents?? Apparently?? Old college friends basically. He was able to warn us a little of Strahd’s powers (some we knew, some we didn’t) and offered them a place of safety in the woods where his keep was hidden. He wasn’t too keen on rejoining the fight, however, and after some tea, we left his home.

On our way back to the lake, we found the ruins of an old manor, did some snooping around the place that reeked of death and murder and spent five minutes on the most awkward of speak with dead 

Look. We found manacles in a house of murdered folks. We were CONCERNED. Apparently the murder was just absolutely unrelated to the manacles. Honest mistake okay.

So back into the lake we went, where we had another normal one

And then decided to look into this whole missing seed situation we’d learned about at the winery what felt like a lifetime ago, but was maybe a week ago?

The wereravens suspected the hag in the Berez swamp had taken their magical seed, so after another pit stop in Vallaki to check all was actually well, to the swamps we went. And look. We did Curse of Strahd a little... off book:

Because Baba Lysaga barely had time to react to us before we started tearing through her home. Her home put up more of a fight than she did, actually. So ow there, but we’re fiiine.

Alkali then went to explore the ruins and met the former Burgomaster of Berez’s ghost and look. She was finding an ongoing thread in Barovia and it was pissing her off:

She was so ready to help the ghost, but then she cursed him herself, and went to pay respects to the statue of his Tatyana-incarnated daughter and promise she wouldn’t let this happen again.

She would PERSONALLY drown Ismark if he looked at Ireena wrong.

But you know. Still a swamp. Still dangerous for other reasons.

HE DIDN’T. THANKFULLY. Because the dumbass has a chance of dying when he casts the last finger of death the dark powers gave him and I just. a Snake. really.

They returned the magic seed to a nearby wereraven for delivery to the winery and headed back to the Inn which, by this point, was a sort of home for them and their assorted collection of orphans.

One of those orphans, the dusk elf Savid, had a musical bone in his body and happened to be singing songs he’d picked up from travelers through the vistani camp... one of which. Was a war propaganda song. From the country Alkali’s homeland had been at war with for many years. The same war that put a number of her ships in her trench. So to avoid... killing an elf, she decided to scry on a different and more hated elf: Kasimir.

Alkali just, in a tavern, death gripping a table as she peers into a mirror, carrying out the scry for as long as she fucking could and burning every bit of the dungeons into her memory for later, just in case.

I sent to him as soon as the scry ended and when the little bastard either couldn’t or refused to answer me... I got. Petty. Alkali used her last sending of the night to reach out to Anastrasya, the decidedly more vicious of the brides she’d become friendly with.

And just. Let her know. She had an uninvited guest in her house - the same guest Alkali had previously mentioned wanting to deal with herself in their chats at the party.

If ‘cat who caught the canary’ had a vibe that could come over sending, Alkali was pretty sure she got that when Anastrasya promised to look into it.

I sense nothing wrong with this.

And what did we learn from all this? Well one elf learned not to sing cover songs around Alkali

[self-shipper-snowdrop]

Self Ship Valentines - Day 9

Prompt: “Comfort crutch”

Description: It’s hard to sleep when you’re plagued by nightmares. But, thankfully, Edelgard has someone to hold on to her when she needs it most.

A gasp filled the air as Edelgard shot up from the bed, pulling the red blanket closer to her body as her pale lavender eyes shrunk to pinpoints and she scanned the room for danger. Was this the afterlife? It seemed so much like her room.... where was she? What happened? Hadn’t she just been on the battlefield, after hearing about.... about...

...About the love of her life marrying someone else.

Edelgard sighed, burying her head in her hands as her long white hair fanned out around her. She tensed after hearing someone stir nearby. Her heart leaped into her throat, and Edelgard turned slowly, body tensed as she heard someone sit upright. But, thankfully, the tension completely faded when she heard the voice that rang out into the midnight air, a lilt of exhaustion and worry within it.

“Edie? Are you okay?”

Edelgard managed to let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding in, and seeing Bronwen’s bright brown eyes looking at her with concern, Edelgard opened her arms out towards her Queen Consort.

“I... I had a nightmare again.” Edelgard said.

Bronwen’s expression quickly turned to one of concern, and she right away rushed into her lover’s open arms, resting her head upon Edelgard’s heart so the empress could wrap her arms completely around her. Edelgard resting her chin upon Bronwen’s head, taking solace in her gentle warmth. She could already feel her heartbeat slowing, yet even still, her grip upon her love tightened a bit.

“Oh, Edie... I’m so sorry.” Bronwen whispered, holding Edelgard as close as she could, “Did you need a moment, or did you want to tell me about it?”

Edelgard hesitated for a moment.

“....It felt quite real.” Edelgard began, “The war was still raging on. You... didn’t side with me. I never told you how I felt- and you were on the other side of the fight. You... You were the one to slay me.”

Bronwen’s grip on Edelgard tightened.

“Darling....”

“I couldn’t bring myself to strike you down- even in the state I was in. I loved you too much, even if you didn’t see the same in me.” Edelgard continued, her voice barely above a whisper, “You stayed by me as I died. You... you were marrying another woman. I drew my last breath knowing that... that even if you had sided with me in the fight, you would have never been mine.”

Edelgard didn’t notice that tears had slipped free from her eyes until Bronwen sat upright, gently wiping the drops from her cheeks with her thumbs. Bronwen gently kissed the tear tracks away, running a hand through Edelgard’s hair while the other simply cupped her cheek. Edelgard leaned into the touch, but never closing her eyes, simply watching Bronwen’s face as if it were her only tether to reality.

“It was just a nightmare, Edie. We’ve both had many of those before.” Bronwen said, speaking gently and she continued to repeat the motion of running her hand through her love’s hair, “That isn’t our reality. I chose you- I stood by you. We brought peace to this land, and I decided to stand at your side. All because I adore you; I decided that you would be my one and only.”

Edelgard felt her heartbeat slow down, but a bit of doubt still gnawed at her heart.

“But what if you hadn’t picked me?” Edelgard whispered.

Bronwen shook her head, “That didn’t happen, Edie- I did choose you, So any other concepts are irrelevant. There’s no need to consider a world that didn’t come to pass.”

Edelgard managed to nod, pulling Bronwen close again as they laid back down in the bed. Edelgard kept Bronwen close, pressing the woman’s head to her heart.

“Please... stay here. Stay in my arms for tonight.”

She felt Bronwen nod in reply.

“Always, my empress.”

[barbatoskisser]

I agree with this ship. Adrienette and Ladynoir and the two ships of them arent spicy enough. Give me selfship matinette whose trying to learn to love herself and ladybug is her ideal self so like in essence she has a crush on *herself*

Also, friendship i reblogged from, i agree. Adriechat sHOULD BE A SHIP. I APPROVE

HERES HOW MARIBUG CAN STILL WIN

[curiouschaosstarlight]

Honestly, I think the full extent of my existence is inherently baffling and mythical to the "I just think we need to remember that this character is horrible and irredeemable and the worst!!!" and "we just need more villains to BE villains!!!" and "people who 'woobify' villains are stupid shallow idiots!!!" crowd.

Like yeah, sure. I like most of my villains to be tragic and/or sympathetic. I like them to have the capacity to be a wet pathetic baby bean, even if I might have to force them into the role a bit.

But I also like Professor Hojo as-is and he's the ONLY reason I got into FF7, and my favorite character from FF7, and he isn't the only purely evil and terrible villain I adore as a purely evil and terrible villain.

Like.

You can have both, and it's fully possible to like both.

(And that's not getting into how often I see characters who DO have tragic backstories and actual reasons for doing terrible actions, as an explanation not an excuse mind, and then the fandom just rabidly insists that character is pure evil and malicious and can't possibly have any other reason for doing anything beyond sadistic enjoyment...)

[ervona]

there are no correct bg3 choices but on the other hand aggroing the druids until everyone dies and then visiting the goblin camp + travel ending are the correct choices for Minthara's romance arc...

[thedimenotmensioned]

Wouldn’t give a fuck if every nigga on earth died.

[deityofhearts]

the only relationship fable is committed to is the bit

[luin-no-koibito]

Can you guess which tag corresponds to each selfship???

describe your self ship(s) as badly as possible in the tags !!

(Stole from a anti)