#four magical idiots in a cult and one of them is the baby that the other three absolutely adore

[luin-no-koibito]

Can you guess which tag corresponds to each selfship???

describe your self ship(s) as badly as possible in the tags !!

(Stole from a anti)

[rhinocio]

Voltron Fic Recommendations

Unsurprisingly, I’ve hooked my attention onto a new fandom of space gays, and boy oh boy has this series turned up some phenomenal stories. 

Back With A Madness (Champion) by Mytay (Keith/Lance, Shiro/Matt -- Action/Adventure)

Lance gets himself mixed up in an underground fight club tournament in a bid to protect a local family and one by one draws the rest of the team into the fray, leading to extensive anxiety, battle practice, espionage and rigging, and way too many cryopod visits for a growing boy.

Has the most unique romantic confession scene I’ve ever seen in fanfiction, a healthy heaping of platonic affection between all characters, fun OCs, and an intreguing subplot involving Shiro and a clone.

The Dreaming Dark by Pterodotyl (Keith/Lance -- Thriller/Adventure)

The Garrison Trio comprise a deep sea explorative team tasked with diving 14,000 metres into the Kraydah Trench in search of answers as to what happened to the Kerberos Mission, and in doing so discover something a little more... monsterous.

By far the most well-researched story I have ever read. The author is a sweetheart and crafts amazingly cinematic scenes, and there’s a curious political subplot simmering in the background. The character interactions are gold, and things shift between fine and terrible so quick you can’t put the fic down. Lance has the voice of a chipmunk for two chapters. A close second on my Coolest Story Ever list.

Goodnight, Travel Well by Europa_report (Keith/Lance, Shiro/Allura -- Horror/Thriller)

The team discover a silent planet with a terrifying history, and awaken something with a very deep-seated grudge. Caught in a 400 day countdown until certain doom and with their leader missing, the paladins are stuck desperately searching for a way to defeat all-encompassing evil while handling undead invaders, an ancient curse, uncontrollable wormholing, and a baby. 

Witty, wildly inventive, harrowing and so absolutely endearing in the character affection department that each new chapter makes me cry at least once. Tops my Coolest Story Ever list for its absolute complexity and complete deviation from the fanfiction norm. Cinematic to a fault. Heartbreakingly romantic and sweat-inducing terrifying. This is not a fic to pass by.

Ghost of The Future and Shadow of The Past by Wittyy_name and Zizzani (Keith/Lance -- Adventure/Romance)

In a freak ancient tech accident, Lance is launched exactly a year back in time... and his past self is launched a year forward. These two fics run concurrently, and between all the avoidance of “spoilers” by each team and the standard run of missions with one very out of place paladin, it becomes very obvious that doing the time warp is not good for a person, especially when you do it again.

I’m a sucker for loop distortion anyway, but these two stories really stretch the concept by creating two parallel event sequences that effect each other in real time. The romance is heavy, the paradoxes mind-bending, and the these fics get bonus points for being the final push I needed to start learning Spanish.

Homesick At Space Camp by Kobot (Keith/Lance -- Drama/Romance)

After realizing that Lance’s antagonism has been keeping Keith from really connecting with the team, he makes it his solemn duty to be the Best Possible Teammate, even if that means sticking his foot halfway down his throat and roping them into pretending to be lovers for the sake of avoiding Keith’s engagement to an alien.

Absolutely hilarious chapter titles, solid characterization, and a play on the fake relationship trope that’s quite grounded and realistic. Charming and sweet. Lots of dancing, an epic final battle worthy of the Jak series, and an exceptional butt-ton of all over gay.

Nothing’s Quite As Sweet by Dimpleforyourthoughts (Keith/Lance, Shiro/Allura -- Drama/Romance)

Keith works at a the world’s worst cafe due to debt and a simple lack of anything going on in his life; Lance works four different jobs and also across the street. Cats ensue.

Honestly this is the perfect coffee shop AU, no challenge. Have you been having a shitty day? Do you like soft non-sexual romance stories? Are you the opposite of a dog person? Look no further. Side effects include great need to snugglebum it up with gourmet lattes and overwhelming sense of hope for your own potential to change someone’s world.

Never Saw You Coming by Dimpleforyourthoughts (Keith/Lance -- Biography/Drama)

Keith has always been ready to run, to reach the stars, and to die, more or less in that order. Lance Fucking McClain repeatedly throws wrenches into all three of those ideas. 

Repeat contender DFYT is back again because my dudes I couldn’t show you the soft fic without its bookender. Part Keith exposition and part romance story, this one is heartaching to a fault and pulls no punches. The rough and tumble idiot boys in love poem you’ve been hunting for.

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here by Klancekorner (Keith/Lance -- Drama/Romance)

They’ve been wheeling around each other since first grade, always with one foot in the other’s orbit, no matter the fights or fears or losses. Keith realizes he’s fallen in the same way the moon would if it arced too close to the Earth -- quickly, irreparably, and ending in disaster.

This seems to be an AU that already has a reputation, and for good reason. The song I Found by Amber Run encapsulates its core emotion, by which I mean the scenes are well-suited to a prime-time YA drama, and that at its heart this fic is daringly romantic. The author builds characters from the ground up and fleshes them out so fully that they might as well have called the entire cast OCs with canon name tags. I got weepy, I admit it.

The Purity of Sin by IcyPanther (Platonic Keith/Lance -- Action/Drama)

Being kept away from their lions and trapped on a hostile desert planet of short, angry cat-people would be difficult enough had they not gotten Lance wrapped up in sacrificial cult magic with a three day countdown. Thankfully, Keith is nothing if not determined to keep them both alive, no matter the cost or consequences.

Talk about a whump fic, but one with some solid worldbuilding, good characterization, and a satisfying, fit-for-TV climax. Great for those times you want affection and care between your characters but none of the romance. Allura cosplays as a cat.

[bakudekuficlibrary]

Heelloo! This blog is absolutely wonderful. Before sleep, I always come to look for a fanfic based on the lists and it's very helpful. I can't help but sleep like a bear after reading a good fic recommended in this blog. Hope you continuee! And alsoo I have a request... if there is any fic with a jelly Kacchan, but a frequently jealous Kacchan. Because I love reading that type of scenes. Hope you answer meee, thankk youuu!!! ;;;

Hi! Thank you so much for the kind words, and I’m so sorry for the wait! Here’s a link to the Jealous Kacchan mini-list, just in case you haven’t seen it yet. Hmm… I think possessive behavior fics have a lot of Jealous Kacchan moments, so here’s a mini-list! (Some fics are tagged with both “Jealous Bakugou Katsuki” and “Possessive Behavior,” so you will see some works listed on here that were already listed in the other mini-list!)

-Ellie

20 Works.

Before Midnight by DriftingGlass ( E | 211,528 | 28/28 )

Izuku Midoriya takes the same train to and from school Monday through Friday, morning and night. His only company during these lonesome hours comes in the form of another boy his age—a teen with scarred hands and blood gem eyes, a stranger with ash-blond hair who walks in a shroud of danger and mystery.

“Would you stop with that fucking muttering, idiot?”

And before Izuku can find his footing, his life becomes a full-blown collision course thanks to walking cannonball Katsuki Bakugou.

(And along the way he may have found the missing fuel to his fire).

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage | Implied/Referenced Child Abuse | Emotional/Psychological Abuse | Attempted Sexual Assault]

[Abandoned] Alexithymia by DriftingGlass ( M | 61,246 | 10/11 )

It’s as if he’s inhaling a breath of snow and ashes—a shock and choke in his throat, strangely reminiscent of the day he realized that the birthmark blooming on his shoulder was identical to the drawings on his childhood friend’s desk.

Now, twelve years later, it only confirms Izuku’s impending doubts that, yes, he is now legally claimed by Katsuki Bakugou.

[ THIS FIC HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED. ]

[Underage]

[On Hiatus] Lost Omega by GreyDayMoon ( Not Rated | 36,940+ | 12/? )

Izuku was just trying to take care of himself and his mother but a single slip up sends him into unfamiliar territory where he encounters an aggressive alpha who drags him into tribe life.

*On temporary Hiatus*

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage | Dub-Con]

[On Hiatus] And He Was Magnificent by Skaii, SugarbabyIzuku ( E | 4,134+ | 1/? )

Midoriya Izuku is an omega slave, born into a life of subservience. He’s trapped, never to reach his dreams of something more; until he’s thrust headfirst into the world of Bakugou Katsuki, the crown prince of Incendium Kingdom. Now, Izuku must adjust to a new life as Katsuki’s slave—while a war that threatens to shake the land looms on the horizon.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

[On Hiatus] Quirkless by InkHound ( M | 29,444+ | 6/? )

Izuku’s heartbroken at the tender age of four— the doctors have confirmed he is quirkless. But the truly crushing blow is when not long afterward, little Izuku has a chance meeting with his number one hero; All Might, who tells him that without a quirk, he can’t be a hero (it’s just too dangerous).

Later that night, Izuku is watching his favorite All Might video in a daze. He puts the question to his mother; can he still be a hero, without a quirk? He watches as she freezes up, pale-faced and wet-eyed before she rushes to his side and speaks in a trembling, tear-filled voice;

“Oh baby, my sweet baby ‘zuku,” she says through her tears, “Of course you can.”

And everything changed.

[Underage]

The Bonds that Bind Us by DMMegsie ( M | 28,298+ | 5/? )

Travelling with his trading caravan, Izuku is on his way home when they stumble across an already heated battle in the middle of an open field in the dead of night. Being mistaken as part of attacking party, Izuku finds himself fighting off the fabled Demon King of the Mountains of Fire.

However, during the battle, Izuku breaks a necklace on the Demon King that held an unspoken promise from his mother from long ago, which changes everything.

Nothing ever as it seems, nor is it simple. As an omega of elven descent, Izuku has a lot to learn about the greater world and himself. The same could be said of the half dragon lord of the mountain.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Rape/Non-Con]

Oubaitori by DriftingGlass ( M | 32,666+ | 4/16 )

From the moment he was born, Izuku understood that he was different. He was a rarity, an omega; not necessarily seen as useful or even desirable. It didn’t take long, however, for his entire future to be placed in the hands of an alpha, one by the name of Katsuki Bakugo.

Through many pitfalls, confusion, and pains of growing up in a city where both are outcasts of their own kind, it takes more than just the threads of instinct and arranged contracts to bring two hearts together.

Love isn’t fate. It’s pure luck.

[Underage]

Mark Me Up by Flightless_Bird ( T | 1,674 | 1/1 )

Katsuki’s gaze cut into him again like a lightning bolt and it took Izuku a second to realize what the tilt of the blonde’s head meant: come here.

Hero & Zero by GreyDayMoon ( Not Rated | 8,493+ | 4/? )

Bakugou was the number one hero, surrounded by fans, and loaded with fame and fortune. So why would he care if a boy from his childhood still watched him from the edge of crowds? He wouldn’t give a shit about Deku who would? Who would even be looking for that stupid messy green hair?

Except maybe he would.

The Only One Who Can Make You… by TitanOrphanAnnie ( E | 898 | 1/1 )

PWP One-Shot about some fooling around after class that ends up fluffier than Kaachan was prepared for.

Possessive fuck by Thetrash ( E | 2,585 | 1/1 )

Izuku has a study date with Shoto and Katsuki decides to fuck him before he leaves.

[Dub-Con]

Aphiemi by DriftingGlass ( G | 9,591 | 1/1 )

[ Aphiemi - “to send for one’s self, to forsake, to hurl away, to disregard, to put off.” ]

Emotions are incredibly difficult to control and formulate the way you want to. For one Katsuki Bakugou, he’s made mistakes and placed assumptions on one person he realizes he cannot bear to live without, no matter how much he simultaneously detests and adores the little shithead.

Gagging For It by sagequit ( E | 3,006+ | 2/? )

Bakugou discovers that Midoriya has a bit of an oral fixation. Shameless PWP.

SeriesPart 1 of Bakudeku Filth

[Underage]

Soft Spots by Saysi ( E | 38,613+ | 18/? )

Midoriya and Bakugou don’t have the best of relationships - except when they find themselves alone.

Bakugou quickly finds himself developing a soft spot for the nerd.

Happy birthday Midoriya!

[Underage]

Fake It Till I Make You Mine by AnimeLoversInTown ( E | 8,514+ | 3/? )

All Katsuki wanted was to get away from people and eat his lunch in peace. How is it that after only two short minutes of blissful silence, he suddenly had to deal with Deku bawling, got suckered into listening to his problems, and wound up with a boyfriend? Ah well, at least he wasn’t bored.

[Underage]

Miko!!! by Hermaphrodite ( T | 30,110+ | 6/? )

Izuku isn’t really sure, but hes pretty certian in his past life he must have been a terrible person, maybe a heretic that had a cult following and went on a mass murder spree that cost people their lives or something, because there is no way that the gods could hate him this much for absolutely no reason besides existing. Firstly, he was born as a Omega, almost a second class citizen at this point if he was going to be honest with himself, and now at the age of four being branded Quirkless by doctors who were giving his mother looks of pity that clearly read that they thought just what society has conditioned them to think. To them, he was a quirkless, useless omega.Just because you live in a world where everyone has superpowers and you don’t doesn’t mean you aren’t any less of a hero! World be damned! They’ll just have to watch me do it!(Quirkless Omega Izuku accidentally summons Tamamo-No-Mae and becomes a DemiServant, and now with her power he will shape the world and show everyone Omegas can be Heroes! and well, Kaachan just wants everyone to stop staring at his Deku)

Where the Stars Burn Brightest by DriftingGlass ( M | 18,467+ | 3/? )

In a world where countries are torn asunder through quests for greed, power, and understanding the realm of industrial technology and ancient magic, only the strongest—and smartest—live a full life.

Every individual is born with a phrase marking their bodies, linking them to their soulmate through the threads of fate and time.

Izuku Midoriya is born with only half of a soulphrase on his wrist, destined to never meet the other half. A cruel omen.

Though this has not stopped Izuku from dedicating his young life to researching soul-born magic and science under his master, the legendary Toshinori Yagi. He is determined to manifest his Quirk, with or without a destined soulmate.

However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he rescues a volatile criminal—a man of savage beauty and many secrets.

And so, Izuku realizes rather quickly that in his dangerous new quest, only the most willful survive, and if his new companion is anything to show for it, nothing will prepare him for what’s to come.

[ Rewrite of The Rhythm of Fire and Wind ]

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Past Abuse]

I Like You Deku, damn it by AjhayLee ( T | 8,364 | 1/1 )

Bakugou Katsuki dreams about his past self as a prince and liking his attendant childhood friend. The thing is, he couldn’t confess his feelings and he wasn’t able to tell him. Upon realizing that he also like the present Midoriya in the process, he does what his past self couldn’t do the fourth time he woke up from the dream.

[Major Character Death]

class act by savedetonate (neverlasting) ( E | 1,696 | 1/1 )

Katsuki is riled up and feeling petty, and Izuku is looking too good to ignore.

[Underage]

Consumed by youreroad ( M | 5,209+ | 3/? )

Izuku and Katsuki had known each other since they where kids. They have their ups and downs and even had a fall out during middle school but in the end they are best friends. Even with Katsuki’s abrassive personality Izuku knows Katsuki cares for him.

He just has no idea to what extent.

In which Izuku tries to date and Katsuki is consumed by his obsession.

[anxious-band-pan]

A list of random crackheadery from high school cause I low key miss it

“I’m gonna yeet myself into the afterlife”

“I’m gonna rotisserie cook your future children and eat them”

“KARMA’S A B*TCH!” Yelled while playing a game of uno in homeroom very loudly

a kid walked around our lunchroom with a fake blue bird pinned in his hair which was life size and honestly the weirdest part of lunch

“What should i put on my shirt for (x club)? It’s between uwu, Space Boi uwu, and rawr XD. My goal is to be as cringey as possible.”

*crying* “Well you just threw off my groove and i-“

(To the tune of G-6) “I’m a dumb bish, I’m a dumb bish”

“(X name)! How far would you have been if i didn’t stop you to tell you you’re a thot”. “Probably yeeted off a bridge by now”

“He just looks like a sad pigeon with a boss hat”

(To the tune of celebrate good times) “end my suffering, come on!”

“My hands are white!” “YOU’RE WHITE!”

“I’m a firm believer in don’t judge something unless you try it, unless it’s illegal or drugs; don’t do drugs kids”

“.....but not all dogs can fit on skateboards!”

“Can we just cut my legs off and sell them”

“Invade my body, daddy bacteria”

“That’s what I imagine it would sound like if a spider ran in tap shoes”

“My church had an average attendance of 421 this year, we were so freaking close”

“Did you know that Waluigi has the same number of syllables as hallelujah, so if you think of any song with hallelujah in it you can replace it with Waluigi and it’ll fit”

“Anyone wanna feel my swollen gland”

“Your gay is like your mother’s tendency to sleep with men: plentiful”

“If being gay is a sin is satan the gay fairy”

“Vines are like actual vines: you get stuck and you never get out” “vines can choke you though” “Yes choke me daddy vine”

“You are each gonna have a burger component on your back” “I wanna be the meat ;)”

“Grab me however you want daddy hamburger”

*showing a paper with a picture of a bottom bun* “I guess you could say I’m a.... bottom”

“STOP EATING THE DUCT TAPE!”

“Shut up, don’t talk about my potatoes like that”

“Can you snort tide pods”

*whisper screaming and hitting a chair* “WHY IS COTTON EYED JOE BACK”

“But if two furries screw, is god cool with that?”

“PHD- pretty high dolphins”

“Do crocs have memory foam? i think not”

“I’ve run out of creative ways to whip”

“This is why we shouldn’t legalize weed, because we’re having this conversation sober”

“Don’t you just get sad every time a chair dies”

“Praise our lord and savior, Magic Mike”

“I’ll give you fifty bucks if you can guess what’s in my thermos.” “Coffee.” “No. It’s chicken noodle soup”

“I’m gonna eat your fingernails” “did you say EAT” “yeah, I’m gonna chew his fingernails off”

“I already went back to Mexico”

“You’re the BFG” “How so” “Big Frickin Gay”

“But since you’re gay, would you date me if i was” “the only way I’d date you is if you were an online catfish”

“We have a speaker with fake arms today” “he cant bring those in the school those are weapons” “how is he gonna throw them?” “With his feet”

“did you say the THOT police?” “no you idiot the THOUGHT police”

“I’m not scared of Russia. Like honestly i can beat them”

“I share a brian with satan and it smells shirty” (not a typo. Those exact words. I think it was making fun of a typo)

“I look like I’m about to go repaint all my mugs with lead paint”

“And today on the game show of sentences i never thought I’d have to say: it’s not a necklace if you buy it in the pet aisle of walmart”

“You look like the kind of person who would cut spaghetti with dull scissors”

“Hey, hey, hey, not in my f***ing Christian Minecraft server”

“We’re all going to hell” “Not me” “listen we’re in a school we’re already there” “True”

*to the tune of “what is love? Baby don’t hurt me”* “POKÉMON! BABY DON’T HURT ME, DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE”

“YO! PITBULL JUST CAME IN AND OFFERED DONUTS!”

“I’m gonna suck your eyeballs”

“Are we not allowed to have our nails painted since we’re guys” -a definite female, to another definite female

“Ok, so here’s the deal: straight people are uncooked spaghetti. Gay people are cooked rotini. I’m kinda like a cooked spaghetti. I’m not straight, I’m in between.” “The Italian is now interested I’m here what’s up with pasta”

“This song reminds me of Mexican food” “How does this remind you of Mexican food it’s jazz?”

“You’re not allowed to switch schools, I need my twin cop”

“You guys are the reason I wanna die” “you guys are the reason I drink”

*taking a huge drink of peanut butter hot chocolate* “I’m allergic to peanut butter” “THEN WHY DID YOU DRINK IT????” “Because i wanna die”

“so there’s two kinds of country hicks: the yee haws and the haw yees. Now the yee haws are the ones in country songs, they’re vaguely normal and drink and do horse riding stuff. The haw yees are the ones who fish with their hands and then f*** their cousins afterwards”

“Pop is just spicy water”

“I’m sorry, it’s not pizza Steve anymore” “Who is it” “the fresh prince of bel air”

A kid took his phone out of the microwave like that was a normal thing that humans do

“BUT IS HE DATING THE DEER?!”

“Chinese people eat cats, why not lesbians?” *teacher looks up* “saying Chinese people eat cats is too far”

“A gryffindor and a ravenclaw ooh this is good”

Two girls at the exact same time: *Gasp* TEA!

*girl leans back and cracks her head on a counter kind of thing* a friend:”that’s the third f***ing time!”

“SUCK MY WEENIS!”

“If you ever need a professional con artist I’m here” *teacher looks up* “you didn’t hear that” teacher:”hear what”

“Guys I’m stupid. You know when there’s a big number and then a lil number what’s the lil one called” “exponent?” “Yeah!”

*impersonating yoda screaming*

*chugging coffee* “well, I’m still just as tired, but now my atoms are just jazzed.”

“Not to quote Frozen, but you can’t marry a man you just met!”

“Not knowing what kind of exorcise people are talking about is always interesting, because I don’t know if we’re talking about working out or satan”

“If we actually die in the scene where they kill themselves, do we get bonus?” Teacher: *sighs* “sure.”

“Physically you have hair but spiritually you’re bald.”

*Singing boyfriend by BTR for about an hour straight*

“Stop saying teehee you sound like off brand Michael Jackson”

“He smells dead mice for a living!”

*kicking someone’s foot off a ledge* “long live the king!”

*holding a banana like a weapon* “give me all your debt!”

“I want my fingers to be four inches long”

“Let me read your head for a second”

“Oh no you’re white out now”

“This is what happens when your insides are cold”

“Did you just call me a dumb banana?”

“So Kelvin is Fahrenheit...”

“Let me add another fat roll to your arm”

“You wanna see a cute pic of my baby nephew?” “Sure but I might cry”

“Listen I need these pictures to load so I can see if my goats are being little crackheads”

“I keep trying to see if you’re a VSCO girl but you’re holding out on us”

“Pumpkin. Spice. Bleach.”

“I’m already a mother and I don’t like it.”

“This is a vegan cult, Jessica”

“Did you just say you started a religion?” “Yeah, I think I’ll call it the Fedoras”

“Isn’t a fedora just like... a cowboy hat but formal”

“Yes choke me daddy panic”

“I’m your emotional support crackhead deal with it”

“She got possessed by country satan”

“If you think about it toes are just little feet”

“Oh my god imagine if you pronounced Roosevelt like goose”

“Roosevelt got really sad when i broke up with him.”

“I love how I just classified reaper as its own state of being”

“So Santa’s not a cryptid”

“We’re not meat creatures like crabs”

“Do you want to be a famous writing?”

“Self care is becoming a breaded chicken tender on the weekends”

“You are a little yellow boy”

“I gotta look up how to have a stroke”

“At least you still have straight privilege”

“You piece of b*tch”

“Children having skulls is scary”

“You wanna crochet my friend a rat”

“If you kill yourself and you have a life insurance policy that your family then collects, is that insurance fraud?”

“Spaghetti man is talking about pregnancy and I’m scared”

“You’re the cutest trash I’ve ever seen”

“Poetry? Lame. DriversEd? Lame. Dousing myself in butter and becoming a dinner roll? F*ckin’ MINT”

“Finally, an invention to get rid of me” *zooms in on words garbage disposal*

“Is Swiper from Dora a furry or an actual fox?”

“I’m laughing because I just realized the word identity has t*tty in it”

“Oh my god I thought Paris was a country”

“Girl if you are having a baby this month the only thing you are birthing is FLAT Stanley”

“My eyes really said gardening”

“I snorted soapy water this morning”

“Intestines: do you really need them or are they a social construct?”

“I watched the first episode of that show illegally, and it was great”

“How much does a hit man cost in this economy?”

“Is santa wearing stripper heels?”

“No, I didn’t give birth to a baby cow”

“I am a whole grape not a raisin”

“I’ve decided on my career. I’m becoming a hit man for cheap”

“And you fought the tomato”

“You can be gay with the homeless”

[takaraphoenix]

yes, actually i will take that shadowhunters bedtime story

Okay then, children, settle in and get your cocoa ready, time for Phoe's bedtime story! And, for this to make more sense, let's do this in a linear, chronological manner and not in the "and then this happened and revealed x exposition about the past!" fashion it happens in the show.

And, listen, this turned ridiculously long so I am cutting it into four parts. This here, the introduction what what happens before the show kicks in and one recap for each season, makes it easier portions for reading too.

Once upon a time, there was a charismatic bigot named Valentine Morgenstern. He was a Shadowhunter.

Shadowhunters, here, are half-angels - humans infused with angel-blood to make them stronger, faster, more durable. They are also capable of using rules to further enhance themselves (though most runes only work temporary magic). Their duty is to protect normal humans - called "mundies", short for "mundane", in this universe's version of mortals/muggles - from demons.

Our antagonist had a wife (Jocelyn), a son (Jonathan), a cult (the Circle) and a superiority complex. Valentine thought that Shadowhunters were better and should, instead of just protecting from bad demons, just erase everyone with demon-blood.

That's where the "bigot" part kicks in, because not everyone with demon-blood is evil. Warlocks/witches are born from a union between a demon and a human, vampires and werewolves transmit their demon-blood through bite and then there are Seelies (elves, just think Legolas, really), who are half angel half demon. Just like with humans, there are good and bad people among them all.

But Valentine wants to destroy them all, so he gathered his little cult of followers who support his cause. Until they don't, in what is now known as the Circle War, where the Circle fought against the Clave (the high council of Shadowhunters, basically) and some Circle members turned against Valentine.

Among them his wife, Jocelyn, and his former best friend, Luke. Valentine left Luke for death among wild werewolves, but Luke survived, albeit now turned into a werewolf. Together, Luke and Jocelyn fled - after they thought Valentine died in a fire.

Naturally, Valentine didn't die. He too fled, with infant baby Jonathan and the spare-child he stole from a pregnant Circle member.

Because, aside from being a genocidal cult leader, Valentine also loved human experiments! He had been experimenting on Jocelyn while he was pregnant with Jonathan, he experimented on her while she was pregnant with their second child, and he also experimented on that other pregnant Circle member, trying to create even more powerful Shadowhunters as human weapons for his cause.

Just like Luke and Jocelyn thought Valentine and Jonathan had died, Valentine had thought that Jocelyn and their unborn baby had died. So he only grabbed Jonathan #1 his biological son and Jonathan #2 the stolen baby. Thankfully, Jonathan #2 goes by "Jace", making it easier to keep them apart. Still, Valentine raised them both as the same person, as his son Jonathan. They were in hiding, Valentine using magic to change his appearance, posing as Michael Wayland and living in total isolation with the two boys.

Until he banished Jonathan #1 to literal hell. Because for reasons unexplained, he thought it was a good idea to infuse his son with demon blood to make him stronger. Naturally, that backfired. (Here's where questions of nature vs nurture can be asked and where the author's decisions regarding "the one with demon blood turned out evil! ...kind of proving Valentine's point of demon blood = evil".)

When the kid got too scary, Valentine banished him to hell, where Jonathan was then tortured and raised by Lilith, queen of demons. We'll get back to Jonathan later.

For now, there is still Jace. Jace, who was a disappointment to Valentine too. Though he had been infused with pure angel blood. At only ten years old, Jace wasn't living up to his father's expectations so Valentine faked his own death in a bloody manner to leave Jace behind. At least he didn't banish him to hell, am I right? /s

Jace, severely abused and also traumatized by seeing that, moved to the New York Institute ("institute" being the base of operation of the Shadowhunters, usually one per bigger city), because that is being led by the Lightwoods and Robert Lightwood was the parabatai of the real Michael Wayland.

A parabatai is a soulmate, a chosen soulmate. Two Shadowhunters can choose to literally tie their souls together. This bond strengthens them and makes them more in tune with each other, sensing each other and each other's pain.

(This arises the question as to why Robert couldn't tell that Michael had actually already been dead for a decade. The in universe explanation: Michael was in love with Robert and Robert was so violently homophobic that he cut his soulmate out of his life to the point that the bond withered.)

The Lightwoods take Jace in. Robert and his wife Maryse have three children; Alexander (Alec), Isabelle (Izzy) and Maxwell. While Alec and Izzy are around Jace's age, Max is much younger than them all.

Jace and Alec grow close. To the point that Alec falls in love with Jace and also to the point where the two of them become parabatai.

(Jace Wayland and Alec Lightwood, two idiots sharing one braincell)

[all Shadowhunters Recaps here]

[jeaneybean]

The idiots find a vampire

Because of course they do.

So we zone back in to our party staring down hundreds of goblin eyes. ‘So what do you guys do?’ Sam asks. I’m like ‘Vera just, she pushes the door back shut’

So periodically as we decide what we’re doing, Jake opens the door back up. The goblins just stare. None go to attack. There are adorable ( I mean, for goblins) goblin babies, goblin women, goblin children, goblin elderly. This is a fucking nest.

The group plan becomes letting Vera go in and talk to the goblins because she’s real good at talking to people. Maybe a few goblins will speak common. So in she goes, showing her hands off that she has no weapons and she asks very politely (How politely? 28 diplomacy politely) if any of them speak common.

One eventually gets pushed forward and asks her what she wants, so Vera gives the quick explination. (Traveling through, fought a gargoyle, fought the skeletons, checked in here.) He repeated what she wanted so Vera parsed down as low as she could: They’re looking to help people.

‘Not here for us.’ ‘Do you need help? We’re here to help.’ ‘Not here for us’ and the Goblin picks up a spear and points down the wall. So In Vera goes, followed by Magnolia and Jasna. Jake and Nitahn stay with the door, because Jake alone with the door would be a horrible idea.

So into the goblin hole they go, eventually getting to a door where they can hear mining noises from inside. So they knock, noise stops. Vera calls through (Which has to be creepy) ‘Hello? Is anyone in there?’

Window slides open on the door, someone stares out at them. Makes the astute observation that they’re not goblins, Vera agrees. They get let in, where the room is full of people mining. They explain where they’re from, Adventuerers contracted from Hora and Evil Donkey to find missing people. Well, here are the missing people. They’re mining silver, which obviously is very not approved of in a country ran by vampires.

This is the one note I have about the session, which is ‘Vera: So, tell me all about your cult : )’ Because being able to inspire such loyalty and devotion in so many people is fascinating. Please help her, a woman from a far off country, understand this. So the guy tells the story, they’re all saved from their various villiage and mine silver to strike against the ruling class, yadda yadda rabble rabble.

Meanwhile Magnolia sneaks away to look for the brother to the woman who gave her a silver locket and asked her to find her brother. She finds him and tries to give it to him and tell him to come home, but he doesn’t want the memories. He insinuates that everyone he knew and loved is dead. Mags forces the amulet on him and he puts it on, crying as  he turns back to his work.

Mags comes back to the group and they talk for a bit, and Sam’s like ‘A new person comes up and starts talking, but Vera you don’t hear anything. Or see anything. You’re stunned for about, oh, six seconds.’

Which means that this new person who’s came up is at least twice their level. Very evil. Fantastic!

So his name is Anton and he’s a vampire. He asks if we want to take this out to the rest of the party, or have them come in there. He’s very interested on trying to make the party comfortable. This has the opposite effect on Vera, who’s very fucking uncomfrotable, and on Jasna, who recognized that Vera went totally unresponsive for a few seconds at the same time this dude showed up.

Vera tries to argue that they should just talk here, alone, with the most level headed. Anton looks kind of amused at her and calls her bluff and she’s like ‘You don’t know our Jake.’

Meanwhile, Jake is trying to convince Nitahn to go back and check on the donkeys so that he can steal a goblin baby while Nitahn’s gone.

They decide to take this party out to the rest of the party with Anton taking the lead after Vera tells him not to worry about making her comfortable, he reminds her of her father. “And who is that?” “Oh, a minor noble that thinks himself more.” As they’re heading back, Vera makes direct eye contact with Nitahn and shakes her head at him slightly and makes her eyes real big like, ‘this is not a good thing’. Nitahn doesn’t get the clue, but still is apprehensive.

As Anton gives his sob story about being made a creature of the night forced into doing terrible things by his sire and escaping his control once the old monster died, Jilly quietly comes through the door that they just shut on the goblins. When the vampire sees him Sam asks Magnolia for a knowledge: nature roll and writes that down. Anton continues to explain how he’s rising up against the vampires controlling the country, trying to do good and improve, and that’s why he’s been getting people to mine silver for himself. Sam’s surprised I’m not rolling more sense motives, and it’s because Vera’s already decided that she’s being lied to by someone who’s saying just the right thing to incite sympathy with her. 

Because, seriously. Not evil through his own actions but by the circumstances of his birth, trying to rise above that and do the right thing, trying to better himself? It’s like he’s trying to get her to be like ‘oh, same hat’. But he’s still very, very evil. Knock her on her ass evil. The kind of evil you gotta work to maintain, in her opinion.

They talk, Anton being very nice. He even offers to give them silver that he’s mined so the party can silver their weapons. He also informs the group that hte town they met up in, Hora, has been used to state the vampire’s thirsts. Most of the town is dead. 

Jake spends a long while talking with him and asking him a lot of questions about vampires. My personal favorate was:

Jake: So if we came back with silver weapons, could we kill you? Vera: No.

Anton asks them to introduce themselves, and Jasna gives her name, jake gives his name, Jilly gives his name, Nitahn’s nickname of Havilah is given for him, and Vera introduces herself as Vera Medvedeva. Anton comments on that, mentioning that it’s an old house name and one that isn’t around much anymore. Vera smiled and said that her family was good at sussing out when to leave. Blood runs deep, however. (Which is the Medvedev family motto, ahah).

Magnolia wants to go back and talk to the boy missing from the caravan, so she and Anton go in together. After a bit where they explainn things to Jilly (And Sam and Katie go out of the room to talk, with him coming back to look at her character sheet and go ‘son of a bitch’ and head back) they return. Some more men are going to come unload the silver, one of them the boy from the caravan. Magnolia makes a beeline for the cart and the river, with Vera quickly following her.

Magnolia twirls on Jilly when they’re across the river and asks him why the Pale Man is afraid of him. The knowledge: nature check? She’d spotted a reaction in Anton that reminded her of wollf behavior. The roll that Sam was like ‘Son of a bitch’ about? Anton tried to dominate her and remove that from her mind. Jilly says he has no idea in his usual Jilly way.

The people coem out with silver and load it up, with Nitahn going to talk to the boy from the caravan. Magnolia aproaches and casts ‘Protection from Evil’ to see if he’s being mind controlled. He’s not. He’s mining of his own will because he beleives Anton is being truthful to them and is going to fight the monsters controlling their country. He asks NItahn for some paper and he writes a letter to give to his parents.

At one point Jasna questions Vera, asking her about the name she gave. She’s introduced herself as Vera Isha in the past, after all. ‘Well, it used to be my name. Also, it wasn’t my name first.’ ‘VERA ARE YOU MARRIED?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘What is he liiiiike?’ ‘He’s more beautiful than the sun.’ Vera adds in a bit later that ‘His eyes sparkle like Onyx (which Jilly commented on, black eyes, neat) his smile could launch a thousand ships. His hair curls to the envy of every woman in the capital. If he died I’d burn the world down and it wouldn’t be enough suffering.’ And Nitahn was like ‘uhhhhhhh’ at the last bit. 

So the party decides, as Vera suggested, that they head to the dwarves. So through the woods they go, eventually coming to a part of the forest where they could rest for the night. Of course, it looks like a tree literally exploded nearby, a-la-the fucking dire bear situation they found last session. Vera and Jilly are like ‘let’s keep moving’

So they head forward and find the next town at about 11PM. It’s a literal ghost town, no sources of life nearby. No evil, either. So they find the inn (And Vera prays over the bones of the dead donkeys inside) and decide to camp there for the night. Everyone just sleeps in the stables. Vera climbs up in the haymound because of course she does. Nitahn sleeps on the front of the cart with one of the donkeys, Jilly slept on top of the wagon, Mags and Jasna slept underneath, and Jake stayed up for watch because he slept all day in the wagon.

The first four hours goes by without a hitch, everyone sleeps. Nitahn is woken up at four hours to recast his alarm spell, and as soon as he does it just goes off. Boom. Noise everywhere. So we all wake up (Vera stops cuddling up to her sword and readies it) and look around. Someone passes a spot check and notices that the shadows look a bit odd.

So vera fucked right out of the haymound, getting on the ground after seeing clearly that there was nothing there with her. The group found sources of light as they could to track the shadow as it moved around, eventually going up into the haymound.

Vera: I’m not up there anymore, asshole.

The only thing that can hit it is Jake’s magic missiles, and it screams whenever jake hits it. (Vera: Stop that. Jake: Hitting it??? Vera: No, it scream.) So  eventually it gets tired of being hit and launches at Jasna, who dodges. It then goes for Jake, who it gets a hand on and gives him a -2 to his strength as damage. But Jake kills it since he’s the only party member who can fight it. Vera has no holy damage, having used it all on the fight that morning with the bone skeletons. Jasna, Nitahn, and Jilly can’t attack because it’s a shadow. Mags has no spells that’ll hit it.

However, as it dies with a shriek, outside there’s answering shrieks from other shadows. There’s more, and our party has little to no ability to fight them. Session end.