#( anyway i gotta go get ready to babysit 13 puppies and then i might be around )

[pohlepen]

frankie has a younger half brother named owen that i wanna eventually make a blog for (maybe i'll make him a side blog now that we can reply from sideblogs????), but the most important thing to know is that he had a really good upbringing and was loved and safe and their father got clean + sober for THIS second family. and the worst thing that happens to owen is frankie finding him and telling him about her life, because it rocks owen's shit to his core because this whole time he was loving his dad and living his life and there was nothing wrong or bad. and then he finds out that this person he looked up to and respected was totally different and it feels like he never actually knew him at all.

[super-predictable98]

The Girl From Night Raven | Twisted Wonderland AU

Chapter 4: The Player Protection Squad

Warning: Strong language

(The Girl From Night Raven Masterlist)

"Oh dear Great Seven, Trey, are you okay?" Ilse rushed into his room. "I came as soon as I heard, are you hurting?"

"It doesn't feel great, but I'll be alright, thank you for coming," he waved for her to come closer.

"How did that happen?"

"Riddle and I were walking down the stairs and I noticed he was gonna fall, so I tried to stop it and ended up twisting my ankle."

"Did you guys trip or something?"

"Not really, Riddle said it felt like being pushed, but there was no one there."

"That's so weird..." Ilse stopped to think, that felt like a curse, but who would go around school sending random curses? "So does that mean you're out of the tournament?"

"Yeah, they're gonna have to pick another guy for the Heartslabyul team."

"Huh, that sounds off."

"Do you think it was intentional?" Trey took his glasses off and put them to the side.

"I mean, didn't Viper just get injured? He's the star player of Scarabia. And a few other students have been getting hurt mysteriously, it's like out of a sudden everyone is clumsy, and would you look at that? They're all star players for their dorms."

"You might be onto something, Ilse," Riddle said as he entered the room, followed by Cater who was carrying a plate with Trey's lunch. "Someone might be targetting the teams... I've been thinking about that for a while."

"Yeah, I even made a list of potential next victims," Cater grabbed his phone to show her. "See? I thought maybe if we followed some of them closely we might be able to find out who's behind this."

"Fuck..." Ilse hissed as she read over the list. "Jack, Floyd, Rook, Malleus? They're all my friends, we gotta do something fast!"

"Alright, cool, can you come with me? I'm terrified of most of them. Especially the twins."

"The twins? No, they are really nice, they're probably at the Mostro Lounge right now."

"Okay um... Maybe we should start with Jack first, get Ace and Deuce, we'll need one man, or woman, for each of the possible targets."

For the rest of the day, that's all Ilse could think of, she was worried sick that one more of her friends would show up injured or worse. Is it possible that it was Che'nya and his RSA friends? He was trying to injure the star players of Night Raven, trying to humiliate the school? No, that didn't make sense, if that was the inter-schools maybe.

"Pup? Did you hear what I said?" Crewel hit her desk with his whip. "Is your potion ready?"

"Yes, Mr. Crewel," she presented her small cauldron and he dipped the tip of his finger in the blue liquid before giving it a try.

"I'm sorry, this isn't quite right," he frowned. "You're such a good puppy, so dedicated, what's gotten into you today?"

"Nothing, sir, just a little distracted."

"I imagine it's hard for a young lady to focus on boring potions in a classroom full of young boys, but next time, please keep the daydreams out of my class unless you want to pay a little visit to Dire Crowley."

"Yes, sir, I'm sorry. I'll do better next time."

"Wow herbivore, I knew I distracted you, but not that much..." Leona murmured, leaning closer to her ear.

"Go find something better to do, Kingscholar, you're the last thing on my mind today."

"I find it hard to believe. Especially after what you were discussing with Lilia yesterday."

"What are you even doing in first year potions anyway? Aren't you a third year student?"

"Quiet!" Crewel cracked the whip. "Next week we'll be working on truth serums, so please read chapter 13 of your book to prepare. Class dismissed."

——————————————————

"That was way easier than I thought it would be," Cater grinned, following Ilse along with Ace and Deuce. "You really have a way with people, they actually like you."

"Yeah, it's so easy... You say that because you won't be the one babysitting the twin freaks," Ace grumbled. "I got the short end of the stick here!"

"No you didn't, I have to look after that weird stalker," Deuce rolled his eyes, Rook's antics were a bit too much for him. "I guess I'm Monsieur Spade for the next few weeks."

"Don't be like that, Ilse will be looking after Malleus, she definitely has it worse," Cater commented.

"I don't think I do, he's a really sweet guy. I can't wait to spend more time with him."

"Oh? Is someone crushing on the horned guy?" Ace teased, elbowing her arm.

"Shut up... Everyone thinks I'm crushing on everyone, this is bullshit."

"Dearest!" Malleus greeted with a slight bow when the group finally reached the Diasomnia lounge, he's been waiting there for them after getting the message from Lilia saying they would like to meet. His smile definitely freaked the boys out, mostly because they were not used to seeing him smile at all.

"Mal, thank you so much for meeting with us," Ilse joined him on the couch, leaving the others agape at the scene.

"It's my pleasure, child of man," he kissed the back of her hand gently in the most chivalrous manner, making Ace snort only to be punched by Deuce on the shoulder. "What seems to be the issue?"

"We have been thinking about the injuries happening all around campus, Mal, and we don't think it's a coincidence that all the kids getting hurt seem to be the best magift players for each of their dorms, we think someone is targeting the students to ruin the tournament."

"Oh, dear! That sounds dreadful," Malleus frowned, still not understanding what he had to do with that situation.

"We think you might be one of the possible targets since you are the undefeated champion ever since you joined the Diasomnia team," Ilse chuckled, bringing an even wider grin to his lips. "We had the same conversation with Rook and the Leech twins, we are offering to stand by you and help you in case anything happens, plus hopefully find out who's the culprit."

"So, you're offering me your protection?" something in his eye indicated that he thought it was adorable that she wanted to protect him, almost like when a child tells you they'll fight you.

"Pathetic..." Sebek mumbled under his breath. "As if the Young Master would need any protection from a mortal."

"Yeah, essentially I would be following you around and seeing if anything suspicious happens. Deuce is taking care of Rook, Ace is watching over the twins, and Cater will hopefully follow after Jack, that freshman from Savanaclaw."

"I see! So, we would be spending a lot of time together for the next few weeks..." he thought out loud. "Very well, if that will keep your mind at ease, I agree. You have my permission to follow me everywhere, you can even spend the nights at one of the vacant rooms here at our dorm."

"Wow, almost think you're enjoying it," Ace taunted, but Cater covered his mouth, scared of the dorm leader's reaction.

"Awesome, we're gonna head over to Savanaclaw and after it's all sorted over there, I'll come back and we can hang out, chill out," Ilse gave him a hug, patting his horn with the other hand, making Sebek nearly burst a blood vessel.

"Hang out... Chill out... Yeah, sure we can do that," Malleus grimaced, he would have to ask Lilia what that meant when she left. "I will see you soon, dearest."

"What about make out?" Ace couldn't stop himself as he was being dragged out of the dorm.

"Sebek, do you happen to know what making out is?" Malleus asked.

"No, must be some idiotic human thing."

"Lilia!" the young demi dragon teleported into his room.

"DEAR THORN WITCH!" Lilia clutched his chest. "Mal, what have we discussed about knocking?"

"My apologies, I just have a simple question. What is hanging out, chilling out, and making out?"

"Oh! So, hanging or chilling out is more like spending time together, talking or doing something fun with a friend. Making out is... kissing aggressively."

"Kissing?" Malleus' eyes grew wide with the idea. If that Heartslabyul freshman suggested it... Maybe she would consider it. Even more after admitting that she fancied him, information he's been treasuring and cherishing ever since he acquired.

"Why? Where did you hear that?" Lilia called as he left the room without another word. "Kids..."

Meanwhile, the player protection squad, or PPS as Cater named it, finally arrived at Savanaclaw and the reception they got was less than friendly.

"What do you even want here? Infiltrating our territory during our practice!" one of the students screamed.

"Hey, we're here to help!" Ace countered.

"We will help you," another student laughed. "Help you fuck off by kicking your asses all the way back to your dorms."

"What are you saying, mutt?" Leona's deep voice cut through the crowd. "Is that how we greet our guests? Don't forget what I said, if anyone even looks at the fresh meat for more than five seconds, I will personally make sure you don't live to see another day. My dorm is not getting punished because you can't control yourself... Now, what do you want, stupid herbivore?"

"Smooth with the ladies, I see," Ruggie breathed, if he actually liked her, that was definitely not the way to go on about it.

"Wow, so kind," Ilse rolled her eyes, folding her arms in front of her chest, the boys behind her were nearly trembling. "We wanna see Jack."

"Why?" Leona sighed, annoyed.

"We have something important to discuss with him."

"Are you sure you're not here to see me?" he smirked. "You knew it was our practice time, you wanna see me all sweaty again, don't you?"

"Ew," was all she managed to say, but that only made him even cockier.

"Not what you said the other day... A king has to be generous, if that's what you want, I'll let you stay and watch. I know you're not a threat, you're just a cheerleader anyway."

"King? Is your brother here?"

"Careful," he squished her face with one of his gloved hands. "You don't wanna poke a lion with a short stick."

"What is going on around here?" Jack cut through the crowd when his extremely sensitive ears caught the sound of Ilse's voice.

"Hey, Howl," she greeted. "Can we talk in private?"

"No, he has practice," Leona let go of her. "If you wanna say anything, say it now and take your shitty little minions back to Heartslabyul. Be quick."

"Does he mean us?" Ace gasped and Deuce shook his head.

"Fine!" Ilse groaned. "Jack, we're worried about the students getting hurt, we think someone is targeting star magift players, you might be next. We wanna know if you'd let Cater follow you around to help you and see if we can find out who it is."

"That's... I don't think I'll need it," he muttered, trying to hide his disgust. "But thank you so much for worrying about me."

"I know you can take care of yourself, we just wanna know what's going on."

"Well, if it'll make you feel better, then sure," he agreed reluctantly.

"Very beautiful gesture, I'm touched, really," Leona tried not to laugh. "I'm sure you won't find any problems with fresh baby, but if that's what you want, follow him around I guess."

"Actually can we talk in private for a second? About you and Kalim at the party," Jack stammered, pulling her away.

"Ilse and Kalim? What happened between Ilse and Kalim at the party?" the dorm leader scowled.

"Why do you care?" Ruggie giggled. "You hate her so much."

"Of course I do! I'm just curious! Find out what happened and report back to me!"

"Oh, curious... Just like you were curious about her and Malleus?"

"No questions, idiot! Just fucking find out!"

"Please tell me I'm not the only one you're following, Ilse," Jack whispered, making sure they were far enough to not be heard.

"No, we have more students on the list."

"Good, good, keep an eye on them, I think Leona is behind all this."

"Oooh that's why he's so sure you're not gonna be attacked," Deuce exclaimed.

"If you guys gather evidence against him, we can talk to Mr. Crowley."

"Yeah, sure, but... Why are you snitching on your own dorm?" Ace asked.

"Because I can't stand injustice, I wanna win by my own merit, not because the other teams are missing players. Leona is a brilliant player, he's just being lazy and that makes me so angry! He doesn't wanna give it his all."

"Don't worry, Jack," Ilse assured. "If he's really doing this, we'll make sure he gets the punishment he deserves. I already have an idea to get him talking and do my homework at the same time..."

——————————————————

"H-hey, Ilse, I..." Idia's tablet followed her as soon as she entered the Ignihyde lounge.

"Sorry, Idia, I have to study, it's very important," she walked right past him.

"Please, can you listen to me for just a second?"

"Crewel is gonna fail me if I keep messing up my potions because I'm distracted. I need this one to work, it's a matter of life and death."

"Please?" they both stopped by her room.

"Fine, but I don't have time to talk, so please get going with it."

"You can do it," she heard Ortho's faint little encouragement.

"I-I wanna apologize, for what happened in the selection."

"Oh, for not sticking up for me when they decided I couldn't play?"

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I know you're more than capable of playing, you're probably better than most Ignihyde guys, I just couldn't stand the idea of you getting hurt because of a stupid game."

"I'm not more likely to get hurt because of my vagina."

Upon hearing that word, Idia screeched and covered his mouth. Ilse couldn't see him, but he was for sure blushing, and his hair was flaming with embarrassment... The image in her head was adorable.

"N-no! T-that's not what we meant!"

"I get it, you know guys can get rough in this game and didn't want me to end up injured after the entire school vowed to keep me safe."

"Yeah... Do you forgive me?"

"Fine, but next year please talk to Mr. Crowley, you know I'm capable, I just need a chance."

"Okay, promise I will."

"Good, you're forgiven. Now I really gotta go, Iddy, I have a truth serum to prepare."

[kirachama]

sobero (slight saeran x reader)

summary: of course saeran would get stuck baby sitting a drunk at his dumb brother’s new year’s party.

rating: 13+ (alcohol consumption)

notes: so last year (as in 2016) i was supposed to do a fic trade with @cannibalisticskittles and @zentherainbowunicorn and uh, so it’s a year late, but still in season. Ehehe. There were prompts involved but I don’t even remember what they were. ANYWAY, probably one of the most ridiculous things I’ve written since I graduated high school. i hope you guys enjoy and have a happy new year!

It’s an hour until midnight when Saeran finally gives into his brother’s incessant nagging to come out of his room and celebrate New Years with everyone else. There’s no doubt that in his mind that his brother’s friends are buzzed, if not outright drunk, since they’ve been getting increasingly louder as the night’s gone on. Saeran doesn’t mind the drinking, but he could do without the excess ruckus.

It doesn’t take long for Saeran to grow bored of the festivities though and he almost tries to sneak back to his room. However, one threatening smile from his brother is enough to keep Saeran from leaving the party. Saeran contemplates just ignoring him and leaving anyway, but is stopped when someone grabs him by the wrist.

“Heeeey~ where’re ya goin’?”

Saeran turns to look at his captor. Despite not being a member of the RFA, Saeyoung had let his fiancee invite her friend for some reason or another. You stare at him, eyes wide and somewhat glazed over and there’s no doubt in Saeran’s mind that you’re already plastered. When he doesn’t answer you tug at his arm, repeating your question.

“Back to my room,” he answers shortly. He’s hoping that his curt tone will dissuade you from keeping him any longer, but it turns out to not work.

“But whyyyyy~?” you cry, tugging on his arm more. “The party’s here! Not in your room!”

Saeran grimaces, trying to think of an appropriate excuse, but before he can, you start to pull him further from the sanctity of his room and closer to the rest of the party. He tries to struggle a bit, but each time he does, you yank him that much harder. But instead of pulling him into the thick of things like he expects, you usher him to sit down on the living room couch before plopping down next to him.

“Let’s sit here, ‘kaaaaay?”

Saeran nods hesitantly. Of course, he’d rather be in his room, but when given the choice he’d rather be here sitting down than joining in on whatever the others seem to be doing. You flash him a goofy grin before leaning your head down on his shoulder.

The sudden contact causes Saeran to jump, but you seem to either not notice or think nothing of it. He looks around helplessly, unsure if he should push you off or let you be. From across the room, he manages to catch his brother’s eyes. Saeyoung stares for a moment before slowly putting a thumbs up as he grins encouragingly. Saeran’s automatic response is a disgusted look. No doubt that that stupid brother of his has the whole situation misconstrued. He probably thinks that this is the start of some kind of half baked romance, when it’s really a tale of babysitting.

Saeyoung, of course, totally and utterly ignores the look on Saeran’s face and just mouths, ‘Good job!’

Saeran’s response is a pointed glare at his brother. Can’t that idiot tell that he’s chaperoning, not seducing you? Guess he’ll have to explain before his dumb ideas get any worse than they already are. Saeran whips out his phone to send him a quick text, ‘they’re drunk, dumbass.’

He continues to glare at Saeyoung until he checks his phone. His mouth forms an o before he types out a response, ‘ohhhh. take cake care of them, okay?’

Saeran groans. He did not sign up for this.

But then again, dealing with one drunkard is better than dealing with six.

At least that’s what he thinks until you wrap your arms around his body, snuggling closer to him. He jolts a bit, but manages to maintain his composure. You nuzzle your face into his arm, “You… smell really really nice…”

As soon as your words pass through his ears, Saeran feels his heart stop for just a moment before it starts thumping wildly in his chest for some unknown reason. He’s not really used to compliments, especially from anyone who isn’t Saeyoung. That’s got to be the reason, right? What does ‘nice’ smell like anyway? As far as he knows, there’s nothing really special about the body wash he uses.

You continue to mumble, albeit incoherently. Did you maybe fall asleep? He’s heard that some people get sleepy after they drink so maybe that’s what’s going on? If he had to choose between a loud drunk and a quiet one Saeran would definitely choose the latter. Unfortunately, since you’re using him as a pillow, he can’t leave. But it also means that he can’t be dragged away by the rest of the group.

After a couple minutes, you begin to stir. However, instead of letting go of Saeran you push against him more.

“H-hey, what are you-”

“ ‘m thirsty…” you say slowly, reaching over Saeran to grab at one of the cups on the coffee room table. Somehow, Saeran isn’t sure that the drink you’re trying to reach for is even yours. Hell, you might not even care in your drunken state. Instead of gripping the side of the cup like most people would, your fingers graze the rim before they hook around it. You pull, tilting the cup over slightly. Saeran moves to grab it, before you tilt it over, but you seem to realize your mistake and grab it correctly. You lean in closer to Saeran as you try to bring it closer to take a sip. The keyword here is try. You miss and whatever mystery liquid is in the cup spills onto Saeran.

“Hey!” he protests loudly, hoping you’ll realize and get off of him.

However, it doesn’t work.

His sudden outburst seems to have surprised you, causing you to drop the cup and it’s remaining contents onto his lap. Saeran curses loudly, and turns to glare at you, ready to give you an earful. However, his words get caught in his throat as you stare at him with teary eyes.

“I...I’m sorry….” you cry, bowing your head.

“Urgh… ah…” Saeran’s jaw tightens as he struggles to keep himself from chewing you out. Luckily, the sad puppy dog eye look you’re giving him helps mollify him a tiny bit. “Just… just be more careful next time!”

You nod. Then, after a moment, you stand up suddenly, teetering a little bit as you go. Saeran looks up at you, confused at whatever you’re about to do. Then you grab him by the hand and yank him toward the hallway.

“We gotta get you outta those clothes,” you tell him in a very serious voice.

“Uh…” While it’s true his clothes are wet from whatever was in that cup it’s not so bad that he needs to change. “It’s… fine…”

“No!” you exclaim loudly. “Ish not fine!”

Saeran sighs, unsure of what to do next. Should he bring you back to the others and let them handle you? But part of him isn’t even sure that you’ll cooperate- you seem to be pretty stubborn.

Your head swings back and forth as you look around the hallway, “Where’s yer room?”

Saeran hesitates to answer. He really doesn’t think he needs to get changed, but maybe if he does you’ll behave. Unfortunately, you’re not patient enough for him to point it out and start trying each door you come to. Saeyoung keeps a lot of the doors (even some to the closets) locked so none of them open. Saeran’s fairly sure that the first door that opens will be dubbed his room.

“It’s over here,” he finally says quietly, maneuvering around your body to guide you to the room.

“Ah! Tanks!” you say as he opens the door so you can enter. You look around the room for a second before turning back to Saeran. “Okay, now you gotta change.”

Saeran takes a step back when you move toward him, “I-I don’t need your help changing my clothes.”

You squint at him, “But I got you wet.”

“I can change myself,” Saeran asserts. You frown and he realizes that it’s probably useless trying to reason with a drunk person. He circles around you making sure to keep his distance as he moves toward the dresser on the other end of the room.

Then you leap toward him, much faster than any drunken person should ever be. Saeran realizes that you’re much stronger than you look, as you manage to pin him to the wall and wrestle his sweater off of him. You start to go for the shirt he had on underneath, but Saeran manages to stop you, grabbing you by the wrists.

“It’s not wet,” he says in a firm tone, as if he’s reprimanding a child.

You blink and stare down at him silently. Saeran starts to squirm, feeling a little uncomfortable under the scrutiny. Finally, you say, as if you’re making some kind of revelation, “It’s… not.”

Saeran sighs with relief, glad that something made it through that thick, intoxicated brain of yours. Slowly, he loosens his grip on your wrists. When you don’t reach out to resume your attempts at stripping him, he releases you entirely.

Once you’re free, he expects you to maybe back away or something. But you don’t.

You reach down and start tugging the hem of your own shirt upwards.

Saeran sputters a bit, his face reddening at the sight of your exposed skin. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“Gotta git rid of da wet clothes!” you respond a little too cheerily. Did you forget who actually got their clothes wet? Did you already forget that you had taken that person’s wet clothes off?

Saeran rushes over to stop you from stripping completely, but isn’t in time to stop you from pulling off your shirt. You start to tug at the button of your pants, but he grabs your hands once more, effectively stopping you, “Stop.”

You freeze, and slowly look up at him.

“...they aren’t wet,” Saeran repeats. He’s not sure if it’ll work again, but it’s worth a shot.

“They’re… not?”

“No.”

You look back down at yourself and squeak, “Oh…”

Saeran, once again, slowly lets go of your hands, and backs away from you. He notices your discarded shirt at his feet and reaches down to grab it. Making sure to see as little of your half naked form as possible, he looks away as he thrusts the shirt in your general direction. A second later, he feels the shirt being pulled from his grasp. He gives you a little bit of time so you can put it on. You may be drunk, but the rustling of clothes he hears must be a good sign that you’re coherent enough to dress yourself.

When he finally turns to face you he expects to see you dressed in some form.

But Saeran’s not surprised when to find the shirt bunched up around your neck like some kind of scarf. He keeps his eyes trained to the areas above your shoulders, but the knowledge that you’re still pretty exposed beneath them keeps his face nice and warm.

You blink at him. Once. Twice. Then, you ask, in a cute sounding voice, “H-help…”

Saeran stares at you and sighs. As much as this situation annoys him he can’t bring himself to tell you no. So, he slowly reaches over and carefully realigns your shirt so that it’s facing the right way. Then he gingerly reaches over to find the sleeves so that you can slip your arms through them one at a time. At that point he pulls away, figuring that you can take it from there.

You pull down the hem and give him a child like smile, “Thank you!”

Saeran’s face which had finally cooled down, flushes pink again. He turns away from you and covers his face, mumbling a ‘no problem’ between his fingers. The two of you stand there for a moment, neither sure what to do next when you both hear a loud hollering coming from the direction of the living room. Saeran looks toward the digital clock on his bedside table to find that it reads that it is exactly twelve am.

“It’s… midnight,” you say, unknowingly echoing Saeran’s thoughts. Then, after a beat you begin to tug on his shirt. “Hey!”

He ignores you at first then you start tugging harder. Finally he turns his head back to you and asks, in an annoyed tone, “What?”

You stand on your tippy toes and plop a kiss right on his lips. It’s so soft that Saeran can barely feel it, but he feels his heart stop in his chest all the same. You pull away and shoot him an innocent smile, as if you don’t realize what you just did, “Happy new year!”

Saeran merely gapes at you, face as red as can be as he tries to figure out what would make you kiss him. He opens his mouth to ask when you start to tilt forward, falling onto his chest. Saeran jolts a bit at the unexpected contact. What in the world are you doing now?

He reaches to grab you by the shoulders, ready to demand answers only to find that you’ve passed out. He tries to shake you a little bit to see if you’ll wake up but no dice. 

He’ll just have to wait and ask when you wake up.

If you even remember, that is.

[lollytea]

I have a three hour class coming up, so naturally, I need to give you something that will take you three hours to write to make it fair. Gimme all of them for either Satin Diamond or Jazzle, your choice.

Idk enough about Puzzle to do ALL of these about Jazzle so I went with the sparkles.

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

Now I’ve said that Guy is a HUUUUUGE impulse buyer who would probably throw money at whatever remotely reminded him of Satin. But I also imagine Satin as the type to spend MORE on stuff for Guy.

Just because while he’ll buy anything that holds his attention long enough, she’s more focused on the quality. If it’s expensive, its good. All shit that goes on her boy gotta be designer and she is hellbent on dressin him pretty.

So Satin. Its Satin.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

Guy. Whenever he has a tight schedule, he’s either working or napping cuz damn son hes exhausted. But the thing is, that leaves him with very little time to spend with Satin. So sleeping in her lap is the best he can get.

Meanwhile, my girl has a way better sleep endurance than he does. She can pull off an all-nighter and still seem perfectly composed the next day. Satin’s fuckin incredible.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

who tf u think

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

Guy is often begging Satin to get some sleep. But listen, if she’s in the zone, you cant stop her. Yes, Guy, she’s aware its 2am.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

Neither Satin or Chenille have much experience in cooking. They were pretty spoiled and never had to lift a finger in any kind of housework during their childhood and teenage life. Both of them have had to learn since they moved out but they gotta stick to the basic stuff.

Bless her, Satin’s heart was definitely in the right place. But what she tried to cook was gourmet which she sure as hell was not ready for yet.

Guy’s childhood ran more on a chore wheel kinda thing. He and his siblings had to take turns cooking dinner each week so like he’s a lot more acquainted with it. But is he proud of Satin’s obvious efforts, that’s his girl! You did amazing for your first try!

Tbh he probably tries to eat some of it just to be like “Nonono its fine, we can totally eat this for di-” *Chokes and has to spit it out* “Yeah ok imma make some cookies. You did a good job tho I love you”

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

At a petstore, Guy points at two lizards lying on top of eachother “That one’s me and that one’s you.”

“There’s a fine selection of squeaky toys over here and I'm going to pick one just to whack you with.”

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

I mean Guy wears the clothes Satin MAKES so

I'm sure he’s tried on her actual clothes a couple times tho

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

Satin: “Okay okay, so it was a good day. A really good day. A productive day. Bought the groceries for dinner tonight, made the phone calls, picked up the dry-cleaning, went to the post office, got the car fixed, vacuumed the living room-”

Guy: “Aww baby, that’s great. Hey, where’s Jade?”

Satin: “Where’s who now?”

Guy: “Our 2 year old son? You-you picked him up from day-care, right?”

*Sounds of Satin grabbing her keys and tripping out the front door*

Guy: “.....was that a yes orrrr?”

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

Guy cant read maps so he drives. Also if they have a kid (or theyre babysitting the other kids) Satin’s better at telling them to behave so its better if she’s not behind the wheel.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

Guy poses, Satin draws. Its like part of their whole model/designer dynamic. Duh

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

Guy backflips, Satin has chips

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

After the first article of clothing is removed, Satin is forced to confiscate Guy’s glass.

“Sweetheart, listen. We cant afford to do this again. We cant go back to jail.”

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

They both do ofc

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

Satin did when she was really little but Guy hadn't the foggiest clue why she kept doing in. He just piped up with “That's not your last name, it’s mine, silly!” Then proceeded to tell her what her last name was in case she forgot.

She did start calling herself Satin Diamond a few years before they got married. Like it wasn't his real last name so it didn’t matter much. Plus it sounded classy as hell. You wouldn't wanna fuck with a lady called Satin Diamond.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

Neither of them are huge fans of spiders but as Guy always had to suck it up and take spiders out for his little sister’s sake, he’s a lot more equipped to dealing with it.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

Satin often doesn't wear jackets so if she cold, Guy’s on that shit in an instant

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

They both got a pretty good relationship with eachothers siblings. Guy’s brothers are all lovable nerds in their heart so they adopt Satin immediately

Meanwhile Chenille is like a sister to Guy so like she knows he’ll cherish Satin with all his heart but like. Like a sister. Tell me Chenille hasn't blown her top several time cuz her annoying little brother/her sister’s boyfriend is being a shit again

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

Guy probably. Their relationship kinda develops from friends to occasional flirting to more recurring flirting to constant flirting and like Guy is almost CERTAIN they’re on the same page. Orrrrr flirty might just be a budding aspect of Satin’s personality because hey, it does suit her very well.

Eventually he just gets confused and impatient and blurts out like “HEY ARE WE DOING WHAT WE’RE THINK WE’RE DOING CUZ I LIKE YOU A LOT AND-”

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

Pretty good, considering they weren’t really ready to be parents. The whole nine months was like last minute cramming for a test. They read so many baby books my fuckin god.

But no Satin’s a natural mom. Not as high energy as Poppy and a lot more subdued but still very caring and considerate. She’s calm and logical when helping her kid deal with problems and makes sure he always feel comfortable when talking to her. Jade is REALLY close with his momma.

Also if he gets caught sneaking out at night, he’s shish kabob. But he respects and understands that. His mom is the best person in the world. He just wouldn't dare fuck with her

Guy is also a very devoted father and tends to act as the sillier parent. His relationship with kid can be best described as “Lovingly argumentative.” But no matter, how much he makes fun of his Dad, Jade is probably his biggest fan. He knows the man’s complete filmography by heart and aspires to be an actor too. (Jade cant act for shit but ssssh he’ll change his career choice when he’s older)

But yeah, Guy spent years as his acting coach and tried so hard too because he personally believed his boy could do anything. Turns out he couldn't but ehhh, its the thought that counts. Guy loves Jade to bits and vice versa.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

Neither of them use perfect grammar but Satin is most definitely the number thing. Guy is not.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

I dunno if either of them are the type to get bullied. At least in the case of Satin, she just doesn't take crap. But I guess in the case of Guy, who’s just so unashamedly himself, he might piss off a few other kids with that toxic masculinity mind-set. It probably doesn't happen often but if it ever did, Satin would bite their heads off. She aint here for this bullshit.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

Guy: *puns*

Satin: “You’re doing amazing sweetie” (I imagine death so much, it feels like a memory.)

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

Hear me out. Guy is the impulse buyer, which is why it shocks everyone when Satin is the one to buy the puppy. She was going through an emotional week ok?? Leave her alone

Guy actually has to be the voice of reason here because babe do we have time for a dog idk if we can do this

They end up keeping it and tbh they are TOTALLY the type of people to call themselves the dog’s mommy and daddy. They’re those people fite me

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

Satin doesn't get tired easily but she wears pinchy shoes a lot so Guy gives piggybacks when she needs it

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

I need to tattoo “Guy is Satin’s biggest fan” to my gotdamn forehead

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

Satin. Guy hates candid photos so fuckin much so like nobody has any pictures of him laughing or sleeping or just walking around with no makeup on.

Except for Satin. Satin has like a billion. Guy just doesn't know about them cuz she knows he’d make her delete them.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

I mean Satin DID give Guy a makeover when he asked. You don't think the legendary Guy Diamond look was a one man job, do you? Nah, the twins helped create the icon.

Hell, his first experience with makeup was Satin hiding him the girls bathroom stall when they were like 12 and covering up the acne on his chin after she caught him getting upset over it.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

Look if Satin ever gets a snake, Guy aint gonna be pleased

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

Okay but listen to me. Guy makes a big deal every time his hair gets wet. He hates rain. He hates it so fuckin much.

One time when they were teenagers, they agreed to meet at the other end of town to see a movie. Ofc theres a downpour and Guy’s standing with his umbrella at the bustop, waiting for Satin’s bus to show up. But once she steps out, she looks frazzled af, clearly having not expected the rain.

So its been a long day and Satin is pacing back and forth, unintentionally splashing puddled as she rambles about an unfair detention she received, about Chenille stealing her hairdryer, about her homework not making any sense.

The rain suddenly stops pelting her head and a shadow falls over her frame. She turns around to find him with his arm outstretched and his umbrella looming over her.

Guy blinks, confused as she stares at him in shock, his hair a soaking mess. “What?

And Satin is just internally “Imma marry him. I stg imma marry this loser.”

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

Wherever there’s city lights and rooftop penthouses. Theatres, restaurants and glitzy ballrooms. They live for the night glow. Tbh take them to Paris. Let them dance under the Eiffel Tower at midnight. Tell me that isn't the pinnacle of romanticism.

Also Satin takes the pictures. She’s the better photographer between them. Guy gets too eager and so many of his pics are fuzzy