#cause i dont want it to be a thing for people to say stuff like this to me
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i can answer ur last question since i initially used to keep racism / slavery in my dr in some way. honestly i was intimidated by the amount of change that scripting it out would bring. me being black, and growing up in the us i had an understanding that bigotry itself was fundamental to the creation cultures around the globe.
the bottom line is i wondered how much thatd change culture. for example reggae and rap are products of the systemic discrimination african descendants in the americas faced. without those you dont have reggaeton, dancehall & dembow. BOOM five of my favorite genres just gone. (p.s sometimes i try to picture what a rap songs lyric would be without the use of the word n1gga as dr visualization excersize 💀)
not even just racism but queer-phobia. loads of queer culture formed due to the discrimination and isolation they faced. so then what happens to their culture? does it just become an insignificant preference? no flags, no pride, no nothing?
and so much music, culture and art has been made to protest bigotry or inequality itself that scripting it out felt like "erasing" loads of culture--not even just that, but political and social movements. what about gyarus, hippies and punks? its the little things we dont even think about. scripting out inequality would really make an entirely new world, which i wasnt ready for.
granted i now deeply look forward to these changes as a part of my shifting experience. a "new world" in a social and artistic sense might be interesting to explore. and i decided to just say some stuff would still "be there" even if i didnt explain exactly how its also possible to script the "same world" with beneficial changes but youd still have loads of alt history going on. it still feels like such a big culture shift it gives me the heebie jeebies. i could totally shift and get a history, culture or personal fact 100% wrong and everyone else is looking at me like im insane. like what if i shift thinking my family is christian but in my dr we end up practicing west african traditional spirituality? lmao 💀
tldr; thats a crazy culture shock if you really think about it and some shifters dont want a "new world" or even a "better world" but just a "alternate universe". one where their celeb crush likes them back or theyre richer than the rothschilds. not every shifter is as simpatico or idealistic on their goals regarding shifting as we like to believe we are.
plus, i noticed a lot of people already shift to universes with forms of cultural/racial inequality or discrimination in place. for example atla, genshin, harry potter, mcu, avatar, aot, etc. and some of those are pretty common dr. (not even just that but how can you script out bigotry in some dr where everything is centered around it, like in both avatars? that unintentionally changes a ton) and this reality isnt special so if its normalized to keep discrimination in those universes, i feel like we cant really judge anyone who keeps inequality in a uni based on this one (not saying ur judging, just speaking generally).
and my intentions arent to minimize any groups struggle, but to highlight the fact that those struggles very strongly shaped everyones culture. its sad, but its true. sorry for the yap this is just something ive thought about a lot. shifting really gives way to a loot of possibilities. more than we realize. its just that sometimes we arent ready for the cause & effect.
elephant in the room 🐘
rant about the state of online shifting; "get-it-off my chest" moment
part 1. scripting trauma/ being a bad person in a dr how many people are really doing "bad things" or scripting in trauma in their dr? lets be so fucking for real here. why is it that everytime someone "morally corrupt" it gets exposed months apart and the "culprit" is some small ass account with like ten followers? its not common. and im not saying it never happens. but shiftok is always on about these people and im like...who tf are yall talking about? they find one bad apple and then decide the whole community needs to be reminded how fucked up it is to do xyz.
i mean lets be realistic, how many people are going out of their way to script something traumatic or harmful? the majority of the online community (reddit, tumblr, tiktok) always talks about shifting for their s/o, adventure, frienships, family or a better life in some way. how many people are deliberately scripting to harm themselves or others? and is the number really so much that we need thinkpiece after thinkpiece about it?
aand when others behave immorally or get traumatized in their dr they will experience it. they will see the effects of any bad things they do to others. they will feel the trauma first hand and suffer from what theyve scripted in many ways. we dont need to punish these people. their dr will do it for them.
P. S what about when you shift to a dr like the walking dead? or even mha and keep in the war arc? thats traumatic. hell, even an idol / fame dr can be traumatic and those are hella common! yet nobody bats an eye or reprimands it...odd...
part 2. racebending race doesnt exist. i saw a shiftoker (a white one too??) act like someone was crazy for saying it! the whole concept was created by europeans! white mans burden, race based social classes, and eugenics all seems natural to yall? i mean logically its not odd to anyone that modern racial concepts were made by the same group of people in the same time period...? the time period people needed excuses to kill, rape, steal from and enslave other groups... search up "who created race" and then report back to me..anyways..
name one good thing that splitting people up and assigning them identities based on their background does for us? its caused mocking of those that dont fit the mold their race gives them, harmful views of other because of their racial group(s) and low self esteem from outside perceptions of your race. oh and division among groups on top of everything. so what is the point of holding on to race? abandon it! shift to be white, asian, black, indigenous, do what you want! youre not "changing your race" until you shift to become a different species (and theyres obvi nothing wrong w that!).
and some people say "if you script your another race your downplaying the racism poc face" but not every country has the same type of racism the states has. not every country is even as racist as the states. for example if im shifting to be fully south korean born & raised, and live full time in south korea, its not likely ill experience racism. and even so you can just...script out racism? like what...some people literally hate shifters who dont script out racism and expect everyone to script it out, but then turn to say that they cant change their race because of racism...huh? genuinely dont get that.
P. S im only really preaching abandonment of race so flippantly in regard to shifting. in this reality we're kinda stuck with it at this point lol.
P.S.S and it seems shifters from the usa hate racebending the most! as an american, i wonder how much of that is being intimidated that the concept of a racial hierarchy, that our nation has been built upon for centuries, can be shattered so easily...and therefore obviously proves it as obsolete. food for thought. (half joking here teehee)
#shiftblr#shifting blog#shifting community#genshin shifting#shifting#shifting realities#reality shifter#reality shift#reality shifting#shifter#shifters#shifting antis dni
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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please can we have more jimmy and impulse.
collabs, streams, heck even a life series team
i just really really want to call them jimpulse
#fdgnjmg#please#i need the punnage in my life#i also think.. jimmys quite similar to skizz?#(so they'd probably get along sorry forgot to finish that thought)#but at the same time#his humour is different#so when hes with people who hes newer to it seems almost like he's..#i dont want to say trying too hard but his humour sometimes doesn't have a place with them? or doesn't hit as well? or something?#and impulse can be like that too sometimes?#cause hes always trying to get better at improv-ing interactions#and hes always changing stuff to improve be it tech or editing#so i think...#idk they both put a lot of effort in and sometimes depending on what group they're in it isn't fully appreciated?#that got a little bit analyzy#tldr: i like them and think they need to work together more often#jimmy solidarity#impulsesv#jimpulse#<leaving it right there#its a good pun#guess the build#build and seek#life series#pixls things
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NO I AM NOT OKAY. IF THIS PERSON WHO DID IT IS SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS ME TAKE IT FREAKING DOWN. I NEVER GAVE PERMISSION FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND NEVER WILL.
If someone knows about this fic. Please please please I beg you please send a link to me so that I could report it. If I remember correctly it is only the author who could report something being stolen on wattpad. (The story they took from is one of my original works that is Just One Drop) And please if you do know or if you find out don't go attacking this person.
#i dont know how to react to this... lost sleep a couple of time cause i was always scared that one day i will find out that someone#stole my works and say that it was there own or something like that.#but now that it finally happened i feel like a deflated balloon more than anything#more of the mentally of like “I guess it finally happened to me.” i cant say i am too surprised about this situation#but i am definitely not happy about this at all.#if you are someone who stole one of my works why do you even do this?#likes or whatever??? there is literally nothing nice about the whole thing. do you feel happy?#do you feel happy that you get likes over something that you didnt make? will anything do to make you happy then at this point??#i am not trying to be understanding here i am trying to get it in your skull that in the end#you get nothing from this#doing something like this will only get you likes if not that numbers then what else? You built everything on stuff that didnt belong to yo#fame? what fame could you even get from something like this. sooner or later you might just abandon it and then what??#there is nothing to feel good about it.#this is the reason why people hesitate to even post stuff online at this point cause why even bother#when everything that we make will be stolen at one point and posted again under someone else when we clearly said that we do not want that
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i love how they swarm this man
#i feel like this is leonas day to day#him wanting to be alone#and ppl wanting to around him lol#the way leona attracts high energy ppl is amazing#im sorry leona but people like u oh well 😔#leona kingscholar#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#kalim al asim#twst grim#like...i dont wanna say it#but he kinda has cool big brother vibes in a way#him being “the oldest”#quotation marks cause u know weird fae ages and stuff#but also he just is so unbothered by things#like only malleus seems to get under his skin consistently#and i think its cause both their egos are fuckin colliding into each other when theyre in the same room
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I've sleep on it here's my beef
If you wanna log in to participate in a event that fine, I get for some CC's purgatory 2 isn't lore (I mean it clearly is, but some players are choosing not to involve it in their lore.) But when you've made the discussion not to take part in the lore you can't ask about it on screen.
I literally got confused when someone told me bad had a reason and to check there lastest reblog, thinking the book gave them the reason and apologising, this fully left me thinking that the residents where told to return home until I was discussing with someone else and realized I fully misread that (I need to wear my glasses more TBh)
But this play apart of the problem because what I except was a lore reason and I went looking for it, just to find out later there is no lore reason bad just calls himself vactionbadboy halo when he wants to log in.
Look I get playing purgatory for fun, I get wanting to log in to see your friends, Tubbo did it, and Pac did it; but the difference with them being they made up a reason to be there (the boat didn't leave) is a completely valid reason.
I can see them going home and then later being drag back to the boat by the incompetent egg Island workers, but jumping back and forth to the island in the middle of purgatory is problematic.
If you don't want to take part in the lore then don't, don't ask questions about what's happening lore wise (on stream he can always inquire in dms ) , don't do things on the Island that messes with other people's lore or breaks the immersion make it easy for the actual people who care about the lore; Ie: fan fiction writers, artists, role players (I am all these things) to pretend you're not there!
This sounds dumb but I genuinely, when lore is happening take note of every little the to go "how can I explain this in lore, how could I enhance this in lore" to help with my fan art or fan works.
Genuinely I have a list of game mechanics,(chat, tabs list, death messages) and have written ways to explain them in lore, so you can imagine my annoyance when someone who isn't supposed to be involved ask questions fresh of a lore event.
I think the confusion to add to it is that Phil has been trying to do more improv on the spot right now rp; like leaving cuucurhoo the notice of the eye guy and keeping his webcam on until a big event ( and I love him for that, genuinely I love lore so much because it feeds art and fan fiction)
But I feel like im being taken a fool when someone who isn't technically supposed to be there asks questions about something they're not supposed to be awear of and even bounces of it like they're in lore "yeah it looks like we're going to war with you guys." we who? You're supposed to be Vacation halo, you aren't in purgatory right, if so how did you get home?!
Get what I'm saying? It sucks because everyone else so far seemed to-do A decent job of staying out of lore if they want to visit some committing to not coming back to the island at all (cough* bolas *cough ) .
If you don't wanna take part in the lore don't complicate the already existing lore, it annoynes me greatly.
I don't mind the attenting events so much, it's the fail rping of discussing something you shouldn't know not long after it happened. (Metagaming)
#qsmp#qpurgatory 2#bbh neg#this is why you dont fail rp#like ok i get it its not canon for you#but it is for others#and like you need to respect that#if some players dont have the option to call upon certain people because they been kidnap despite stating they wish they could#i need you to play along and pertend you're not here dont ask about the lore#ignore the image at spawn#is that so much to ask#-50k rp points#you can disagree innthe comments but please dont do it when they intention of getting me to respond and see it your way#i get that you want people to see things your way but let people have opinions#you can state “i disagree cause” but please don't start getting accusatory towards me i domt h#i don't have the time for this#let people have opinions thanks#also if any other creator did this i would be upset#it's not a bbh specific thing its the action that upsets me#i know for a fact to im not the only one who found stuff confusion evem others are saying they cant tell what's canon anymore#like please i need players to work around not wanting to lore#be a good sport please#qsmp discourse
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slight to the moon & finding paradise spoilers AND impostor factory spoilers lolol
so i read a very old review of "to the moon" sometime ago and the author called eva a romantic at heart and neil the 'too cool, doesn't care about romance' guy, and like... what??
eva who suggested john and river's marriage was a mistake, who said "he can always find another 'river' but he will only have one brother", who declines neil's romantic advances, who is very clearly disinterested at taima's attempts to matchmake her, who in response to neil's attempts to bet on colin's problem says "it's not always about some girl, neil", who focuses on her career and family and hobbies and doesn't mind not having a romantic partner?
neil who on the other hand teared up during the memory of john and river's wedding (and tried to hide it, poorly), who disagreed with the idea of removing river because "we don't know what jhonny wants but we know what he doesn't want", who at eva's confusion with sofia's attitude towards them remarked that "well, if she is the patient's wife then she has a dying spouse", who insisted colin was romantically interested in faye, whose ideal reality has him and eva getting married????
my guy.
#it was so funny to me cause like eva is the total opposite of a romantic#NEIL is the romantic one#he does his best to keep people at a distance but my god he is the hopeless romantic i think#so hopeless that he thinks it's out of his reach#it was a review from like 2011 so sure the stuff from minisodes and finding paradise wasnt there yet#but my first examples are from to the moon and are arguably one of the most important ones#“he can always find another river but he will always have one brother” ITS RIGHT THERE IN THE SCRIPT#ALSO in the nasa headquarters#“all this over some girl. that's what you'd say neil” “...right. all this over some girl” “good to have you back” “mhm.”#HE WAS SO SAD ABOUT IT#god. them.#eva rosalene#neil watts#to the moon#finding paradise#impostor factory#freebird games#arospec eva??? <3#the reason i wanted to point that out is cause this misunderstanding of the characters read of the:#“women like romance and guys dont like romance” thing#gamer hours
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Do you ever watch s3 and s4 and realise you're not enjoying it that much
#im kinda in two minds#cause there ARE so many insane details and subtext and all that#and i love reading your guys analyses#but at the same time#actually watching through the eps in s3/4?#they're often tedious#no i dont wanna hear another monologue from the most irritating character in the universe murray bauman#why'd you introduce russians in a massive underground bunker for gods sakes#i thought this was a small intimate story about normal ppl faced with the unknown of the supernatural#not the eye of the cold war storm#any dangerous scene? literally any time they put a character in danger?#idc im not invested praying they'll make it through#cause they always always make it through#even when it seems like they literally died#and what is with the quipiness in the later season?#like all those like marvel lines and interactions and witty one liners and moments where they finish each others sentences would make me#roll my eyes in any other show that i already wasnt invested in#even byler#i love byler with all my heart and i dont doubt they're endgame#but for me even that sweet knowledge is soured by the fact it seems they're trying to cater to every demographic in their massive audience#they turned hopper in this super macho muscle gun man who appeals to people who want a tom cruise show#they're trying to keep both jancy and stancy fans satisfied simultaneously#i dont doubt byler will happen but i just think its going to be very small importance-wise screen-time wise in the midst of everything else#i've sort of had cognitive dissonance cause ive been in this space where everybody praises the shit out of it (i mean duh its a fandom)#and they point out impressive details and links and say stuff like 'the duffers had everything planned from the beginning!'#so i was refusing to acknowledge that i wasnt enjoying actually watching the show as it strayed further from what it had been in s1#sorry guys gotta agree with friendly soace ninja on this one (kinda stupid to put on tags where most ppl do genuinely love the show and pls#ignore these depressing thoughts and continue happily on with your hyperfixation if you do)#stranger things#byler
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Starting to think that maybe it's alright if you don't live up to your full potential. Yeah, maybe you could do great things, go to university, get that promotion, apply for that fancy job, become a published author, a recognized artist. Maybe it's alright to just. Not do that, too. Not because you can't. Just because you don't want it, or don't need it.
Maybe it's alright to have great potential and never live up to it, for no good reason. Just because you don't have to.
#i am realising things and thinking stuff#like#maybe other people are not better than me just cause i didnt achieve what we all know i could achieve#not cause i cant#or dont want to#just cause#i dont have to#maybe we should stop saying to people they have a great potential#just saying#i dont think its normal that my teacher tells me i have great potential and i get war flashbacks of my parents sitting me at the diner tabl#cause it was time for that chat about how disapointing i was#maybe kids shouldnt have to feel like that#just a thought
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v euguughhhh my coworker i mostly know how to keep her on conversations im comfortably hearing her opinions about but this week ive had to hear stuff like. kids are wearing heavy makeup scarily young these days! (i agree) -> kids want piercings thats crazy! (doesnt have any and thinks the piercing baby ears thing is weird) huh well if their parents dont care i guess its a different world than when i was a kid -> [long rant about how ugly her daughters tattoos are] huh okay!!! im really busy with work now i think we should be busy with work
and then also just while im exorcising things shes said, our boss that's quitting. TODAY. and has been here doing this job perfectly fine, as far as i know, for LITERAL DECADES. WITH MY COWORKER. is. A WOMAN. and coworker told me i hope they replace her with a nice logical rational man whos not gonna take everything so personally. women just get so emotional especially in their time of the month. and i was already like thats an insane thing to say, okay. and then she said she SAID THAT TO MY BOSSES FACEEEEEE. HKJSHDFG. and that she just stared at her in response. and i was like. wow i wonder why she took that weird. kjhglkjhskjhdfgh jesus hell ma'am
#SHES LIKE. SHES LIKE. shes nice i think outside of her personal opinions if u phrase her on stuff the right way she seems p like.#let people do whatever accepting. but when u dont My God. lol. im scared i want to get out of this office right now.#and i think also at least partly they both have the kind of. decades of working together relationship they probably have a.#like coworker has helped guide my boss in her role cause she got promoted into it i think she probably Has seen her through#taking things too personally etc sure. but CAN YOU NOT SAY THAT TO HER FACEEEEE IN HER SAD WEEK OF LEAVING HER JOBBBB#CAN U BE NICE TO HER PLEASEEEEE
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hey guys who was gonna tell me that bocchi the rock contained the single most autistic scene in anime history
#(and im saying this as a mob psycho 100 fan. btw)#i just binged the first 8 episodes and. wow#like admittedly i had seen a clip of her opening riff from that performance but the whole thing. holy shit#im at a loss for words#bocchi the rock!#btr#though i am a little.... unsure how to feel..... because. the scene calls deliberate attention to how she isnt looking at the crowd#and eye contact was a big thing she was 'working on' so i dont want it to be framed as 'wow she's so good if only she would look up'#but i havent watched past episode 8 so for now i live in a beautiful world where she was able to perform that way BECAUSE she didnt look up#and thats okay! shes allowed to not make eye contact even though its unconventional. its not a flaw - its what makes her unique#cause so much of this show is bocchi forcing herself to try to be more social or do things the 'right' way and im like nooooo.......#youre allowed to be a weird little introvert who cant make eye contact..... please stop trying so hard to be something else......#and like. 'its okay to be weird' is very straightforwardly the message of the show#im just worried it will pull its punches with the more socially unacceptable stuff yknow?#like it would still be fine. obviously people can get over a fear of eye contact. but it would make me a little sad.....#lol 'im at a loss for words'. says the guy who has never stopped yapping since he said his very first word#anyway. watch bocchi the rock 👍#biggie tumbles
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bestie how the fuck do you start writing again when you haven't written in years bc you're so paralyzed with Fear of Writing Badly mixed with How Do I Get Started and also WHAT do I write about HELP
I WANT to write but every part of it is. so. DAUNTING
Ohhh bestie I have BEEN there. Whenever I take breaks from writing I find myself scared that I'll have just….forgotten to write?? I think the fear of "bad writing" is amplified when you don't write for a while, however long, because you have to like hype yourself up to go back to writing and it's like what if I do all that and then I just can't do it? Returning to writing, especially after a long time, for me has taken a lot of mental work, trying to understand what will make writing fun and healthy for me. A lot of it, honestly, is easier said than done, but also it's mental work you'll keep doing after you start writing again and as you write, and for me it's easier to process my relationship with writing when I am actually writing.
A big part of that mental work for me, and something I think is so valuable, is to reconsider what "bad" writing is and give yourself permission to write it. Sometimes you will think your writing sucks, happens to all of us, but that isn't all it has to be. Like yeah, I'll think something I wrote sucks, but I still wrote it. I can revisit it and work on it and maybe I'll turn it into something I'm happy with. And even if I don't, I still wrote it, I learned from it. Writing does not need to be "good" by whatever standard we're holding it up to for it to have value. And you can delete it! Nobody has to see it! Also you can have fun writing something and still think it's not your best. I've written a lot of "bad" scenes that I had fun with because the scene was entertaining to me! I love when writing turns out how I like it, or I write a banger prose line, but equally I found it helpful to give myself permission to not worry about that all the time and just focus on my interest/enjoyment in what I'm writing, regardless of the "quality". Again, easier said than done, but something I've found easier the more I write, because you'll have bad writing days but you'll also have writing days that are so good
I know a lot of people see writing as a skill that they want to improve, and like I agree it feels really good to see your writing grow, but writing is so much more than the skill and the craft and the theory. There is no objective "perfection" to reach with writing like we are not Sims with levelled skills LOL. Writing is art and creativity and it should be fun and fulfilling. And IMO, the more you focus on what makes writing fun, you will grow and "improve" as a writer a lot quicker and in a way that is a lot more enjoyable than if you treat writing like some icy quest for perfection. You also get to decide what "good" writing is for you/your story. Some of my stories are more prose focused and I'll play more with language, imagery etc. Others are more about the plot and just having fun imagining this scene. Sometimes it's a mix of both. What is "good" writing depends on the writer, story, genre, etc. There is no one way to write.
I'm rambling a lot because I'm just really passionate about this and I cannot express enough how easier writing got, including all the difficult and ugly and frustrating parts, when I gave space to prioritise my enjoyment and fun. People love to romanticise the idea of the "struggling" writer. I see stuff on here and I'm like you guys….writing should be fun. Like yeah sometimes it's hard and we should talk about that but like, you Need to make sure you are having fun. Anyway I'm going to try not to ramble and bullet point some things that helped me:
Make Writing Fun: Lol! Literally whatever makes writing fun. Sometimes I just write super indulgent scenes and the fun of that sets me up to work on my projects. When I work on my projects I try to find what in each scene I'm going to enjoy the most, and focus on that to help me write the rest. I make playlists, moodboards, memes, art etc for my story because it's fun, and it helps me be engaged with my story outside of writing it. Just, have fun.
On productivity: some people will benefit from setting clear goals and running towards them. Some people don't. For me it depends on my headspace. I don't think productivity is a bad thing, it can feel good, but productivity should not be the only reason you write. And the most productive writing process is whichever one makes writing enjoyable for you, because that's how you'll get words on the page
On that note, please be wary of anyone online who who treats the writing advice they share as Fact. I'm not saying every writing teacher out there does...but some of them market it that way! And creators do not have an authority on writing just because they have a platform however big. There are some AMAZING content creators out there who talk about writing, and I have found them motivating, but like just let yourself be picky about who you listen to/engage with. I say this because I consumed some very Strict writing advice when I was younger and it literally contributed to my years long slump so like...I'm picky now LOL
About goals: Personally, gentle goals are what help me get back into writing. Maybe just write for 20 minutes, or write every day for a couple days. When I do word count goals, I base them on how I feel that day, and recently I don't make a word count, I'll transfer it to the next session but smaller. So if I try to write 500 words but can't I'll say okay, lets try 250 next time. Goals can be a great motivator and way to feel achieved, and maybe bigger goals will help you, but you're also allowed to adjust them as you go to make it easier
On finding new ideas, having been there before, you don't need a fully fleshed out idea to start writing. My longest break I came back to writing with...one character and a backstory? If you have stories/characters already you can revisit them, either build on what you have or completely change it. Or if you don't have that, if there's a piece of media you like you can take that concept and play around with it in your own way, or you can even just write fanfic until you have your own idea (if you want your own idea, fanfic is cool too!) You can even just find a cool pic on pinterest and play around with describing it, writing about it, seeing if you can get anything from that. Ideas are everywhere and they can be tiny, and I think if you have that want to write you Will find your story eventually. All writers have had the Idea struggle, but I think the more you engage with writing and think about what concepts and stories interest you already, the more you'll like train yourself to get ideas
That was very long and maybe a lot but like, I am very passionate about this! I've been in writing "slumps" where I didn't know if I would write again, I've started writing again with no ideas, and in those times all I had was the fact I knew I wanted to write. There are a lot of reasons why we end up having long breaks from writing and it is totally normal, sometimes beneficial for us, and we should never give ourselves a hard time for not writing for however long. But also remember that you can always come back. Every one of us has the capacity to create, whatever that looks like, and you can make it as self indulgent and self serving as you want.
#also a bit on the creators and writing advice thing#I dont think every creator out there who does How To Do X.....is treating what they say as fact. and i dont think that's Bad#i think they're just teaching what they think is valuable info#but like...you're allowed to disagree with it#but I've also encountered people with big platforms who will say shit like if you don't do This Thing you WILL fail in some way#just because THEY had that expreience...or will do writing advice marketed like Harsh Truths For Writers!!!#and like yeah you might find something valuable in that but like it's all marketing!!! they want you to click on their post and engage!#again! not always a bad thing it's how the internet works unfortunately! but sometimes it IS kind of shady lol and you can just ignore it#i'm saying this as someone sharing advice right now. you can disagree with any of this lol#some people share writing advice online and that's literally how they make money or they're using that advice to sell their product#again fair i dont think that's inherently bad but i think just. look at this stuff with a critical eye. people have experience that can be#helpful but NOBODY is an authority on writing#cause unfortunately some people Are capitalising on the fact there are vulnerable writers out there looking for help#putting this extension in the tags because its not so much about starting to write again but i think its important#in regards to engaging with writers spaces. that engagement can be so motivating but you have to set barriers LOL
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
#i cant focus on anything rn but the stuff i wanna make and its turning my brain into mush#the weird brainfucked fear that if i dont get these things started Soon ill forget it#my memory is so fucking borked man and my brain runs too fucking fast to hold on to anything#i make so much that i went and made my own hell lol#the two jobs thing i think is probably the crux rn cause ive got even less time than i used to and my time blindness gives me troubles#ill get adjusted to it#sometimes with all my fucked up processing issues makes me feel like im kind of stuck in a weird bubble#like i have no idea whats happening or whos around me or what people are saying and i just have to stumble through it yknow#shouldve been born as a tiktokers pet snail#not tryna be complainy or in a bad mood or nuffin im fine i literally just want to be making stuff rn#even though works like a big Thing its also been understimulating the past week because theres nothing to do i just gotta Be Here#i need to be put under pressure i need squeezed i need smushed and i aint getting that#if i ever make something for u plz hound me about it#so i can explain in excruciating detail what step im on and how im doing it and what still needs done and how ill do THAT#i should make tutorials#i feel like im way too stream of consciousness to make anything actually helpful#idk i want a toast chee
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Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?
#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like#while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and#both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor#and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in#a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but#on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her#at all nor do you care to#and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her#but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor#and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc#its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of#several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives;#and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad#and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works#we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you#much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person#and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings#is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself#and leaving with just an aspect would be.#thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol#oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like#scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue#basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it#witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love#each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another#and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems#etc etc#like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?
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「You're thinking 'people from Kansai are stingy' aren't you. ... Actually it's just me who's personally stingy.」
literally me but with uk/europe/whatever distinction americans decide to assign me
#very inaccurrate translation but reckon thats the gist of what its saying#also her dialogues so hard to understand#often ill put something in google translate and it wont know but way more with her#dunno about japanese regional stereotypes at all other than 'kansaiben is weird' which it is and the annoying escalater thing#anyway like europe is definitely stereotyped as stingy and being where ive been like uk is europe which it is anyway but perspective etc#like i tend to forget sometimes people from america and stuff get confused when i talk about 'europe' meaning the not here bit#ive more heard the stereotype that scottish people are stingy not whole uk or specifically england but like i dunno?#when your in a different continent the specific stereotype isnt really relevent and to them im just whatever especially#non english speakers im just european#anyway im just stingy cause im stingy not cause if where im from#though i happen to think all americans are way not stingey enough and weird about money#its weird though even amoung students stingyness is way more socially acceptable in uk/parts of europe maybe australia and nz i dunno#but like americans and japanese people for example tend to not be so much like that#america is like really weird though like the extent theyll act like its shameful to not want to buy expensive stuff for no reason#im not saying being poor is never looked down on here but among normal people its considered normal to not want to burn money#and like not being able to afford expensive stuff? like thats totally normal? i dont live in a bubble?#most people i know are middle class or lower middle class like a lot of them are anyway#though to be fair im mostly talking about americans from what ive gathered from the internet though in real life they are less likely to sa#somethings too expensive or whatever#its funny this is about a regional identity but i compared it to my national or even larger scale one#well cause when you go somewhere else it becomes that often my identity even in my mind is just westerner or non american or english speake
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so yea running servers isnt like a cheap thing is what ive been learning these past couple weeks
#fair warning this is me just like going off new knowledge so i could be getting things wrong#buying an actual server isnt really that expensive itself! the issue is like actually running it and when you have actual ppl on said serve#thats where costs start racking up#theres different ways to go about handling a server but mainly what ive been getting from this is:#self hosting (running urself) or managed hosting (having a 3rd party run it for you)#so when ur small or solo u can get away with managed servers cause theyre pretty lowcost or free#and you usually want to go this route if you dont have the skills built up to take care of a server yourself#or if you arent interested in learning cause its pretty time consuming and u have to upkeep it#but they are scary expensive once u get a certain amount of users from what ive seen#its extremely convenient and gives u peace of mind but theres no point using the service if ur making enough money#especially since you wont have as much control of your server if its managed#so at that point just hire people to take care of your own servers you buy#however there are still server costs u need to pay (along with the people u have hired)#im only bringing this up to say that solmare is running ''two'' separate servers for two seperate games (as far as ik)#and probably arent making that much more in profit cause#me as a user...if i have two games that r practically the same on my phone im not spending money on both#its either one or the other#but you still need to pay accordingly to have both of these servers up#like realistically they arent gonna be able to keep both apps running indefinitely#but yea whatever they were saying in the beginning about having both games running and not forgetting about the og#was either a very generous guess or they were just lying#if it were like a nikki game situation where all the games r very different then maybe it would have been feasible#anyways yea sorry i needed an excuse to talk about the website stuff ive been learning!! and obey me is always in the back of my head#im like thinking about this stuff a lot cause for my site i need to have a server and its like okay we r gucci rn#i can stick with managed for now cause im assuming its gonna stay small#but like...theres always that non zero percent chance that it might not be gucci later on lol#so been researching a lot and i just dont wanna run my own server that sounds so boring its not even funny#so yea im just like AHHH
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