#cassie: ??? yes and??? he deserves it

[orcelito]

Bought the memorial plush for Cassy. It's gonna be here on Thursday

It looks pretty similar to Sammy's in style, just with a different pose. I'll see how they look when placed together.

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND THE ANT-MAN MOVIES HAVE NEVER BEEN TREATED LIKE THIS BEFORE

Like yeah, maybe it IS being shoved down my throat but I’m HAPPY about it!! These are my COMFORT films!! Some of the ONLY mcu movies I genuinely and fully enjoy.

[lockedtowers]

Bibi’s and thirst trap edits have taught me what a de/mon de/an and all i can say is cassie will have been w him for 11 years at that point and honestly just find it hot

[userlaylivia]

@clubglee, @hydesjackiespuddinpop

Adam Conant in The Secret Circle (1x01-1x09)

[dwindlinghaze]

helloo can i request a fic for introvert!reader with extrovert!remus lupin whos head over heels for her <3

yes u can darlin <3 🫧🫧 i sort of wrote this into a whole new story but i hope you like this one ☁️🌸��🤍

everytime

(remus lupin x reader)

contents : fem reader, toxic friendships, kissing, fluff !! not proofread

　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the door slammed open, revealing three young witches with their hands full of shopping bags. you knew they were going to hogsmeade together, but a part of you wished they had invited you.

they're your roomates and friends.

you couldn't go as far as calling them your true friends because they don't involve you much in their group activities.

they go on picnics together, shopping for pretty dresses in hogsmeade, having brunch dates, going to the movies.

a part of you wished you're there, being together with them and just fitting in. but the other part of you were thankful as for they're not inviting you because you would feel left out anyways.

it was better to be left out, and only you know it, rather than being left out with other people knowing.

maybe it wasn't their fault. elina is pretty, smart, bright and outgoing. adrienne is cheerful, energetic, and sociable. cassie is ambitious, intelligent, and talkative. you laughed bitterly to yourself, realising that they all have similar traits- all really easy to talk to and would always have an on going conversation.

you couldn't even hold a conversation for more than four minutes. it feels like your fault now.

you sit alone the morning after. you usually sit with your 'friends' for breakfast, but you were hurt from yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. it was tiring, you needed break.

which caught the attention of a young gryffindor boy, sitting at the opposite end of the table.

remus lupin always thought you're the most beautiful person he ever saw. you two never talked, there's no reason to.

only his longing stares are the closest thing to interaction.

he thought you're beautiful. not the kind of beauty in magazines or billboards, but the kind of beauty that spreads through a field of mystical flowers. a kind that shines golden in daylight and a night fairy at late.

he saw the way you chew on your breakfast gloomily. he wondered why. you weren't spotted with your usual friends. you were just there. alone.

you would think of yourself as pathetic, but remus doesn't. he would never. he saw an angel-like soul that nobody's good enough to know. nobody's smart enough to notice.

he frowned when he saw you wiping away a tear before you got up, exiting the packed hall.

"frowning moony is not a safe moony," james said, quirking his eyebrows up.

"it's y/n, isn't it?" sirius questioned. the handsome man noticed how remus has been distracted from reality lately. he noticed how remus basically looks at you with heart eyes everytime.

"she looks sad today," remus noted, feeling an overwhelming sense of worry flooding him. it was funny to think about actually, you two never spoke a word to each other yet remus is worrying as if you're his.

"talk to her," james urged. "it's been- what was it? years of pining, you should make a move first because we all know she won't."

"i can't- y'know, my condition," remus huffed.

"she won't mind."

"how'd you know?"

"because- she is her...?" sirius said. "give it a try moony, if she doesn't love you with your condition then she doesn't deserve you, but if she does, it's worth it."

"right..."

that evening you sat down staring at an open window, catching your breath. you had been crying. you don't know why you're being so sensitive lately especially since your friends are always like this. why are you taking it so personal now?

you let the wind hit your face, drying your tears up with the cold breeze.

remus was on his nightly patrol around the castle. he's a prefect. that's how he heard a sniffle down the hall, his vision met with the most enchanting sight.

he walked slowly towards you, not wanting to scare. "hey... you alright?"

you turned around abruptly, wiping away the tears on your eyelashes. "i'm sorry for being out late."

"i'm not going to report you to professor mcgonagal, are you alright?" he asked once more.

"yeah, i'll be heading back to my dorm now," you collected yourself. the quiet footsteps didn't go unheard by you. remus was following you to the dorms.

"don't want filch to get you, i'll walk you there," he smiled a generous smile.

then silence fell between the two of you, only for remus to break it. "i know we're not friends but you can talk to me about it if you want, you can trust me," remus took hold of your upper arm, caressing it gently.

"thanks," was the only reply. you cringed at how short it sounded and he probably thinks you're rude and cold which is the opposite of who you are. your words aren't the best representation of yourself.

remus knew you were an introvert, hiding away from crowded rooms whenever you can. you never go to the parties his friends held. he knew you prefer reading to revelling.

he understands, he was once just like you. but with the help and support of his friends, he feels more comfortable in expressing himself now.

"will i see you tomorrow?" remus asked once you were inside the gryffindor common room.

"yeah, thank you- for not turning me in," you sent him an awkward smile.

the next day, you weren't in a better state either. you found out that cassie was talking horrible things about you with some slytherins. you weren't surprised. it was just your nature to constantly be disrespected by them.

remus saw you again that very day. your eyes were watery and your fingers were shaking.

he quickly ran up to you, his heart breaking into a million pieces. how dare someone did this to you?

"honey, you okay?" remus said, looking at you with the fondest eyes.

you almost cried again, hearing how someone actually asked you if you were okay. you shook your head in response.

"talk to me, we're friends," remus said softly. in reality, you two aren't technically friends. you only met face to face twice.

"we're friends?" you asked, feeling unsure.

"we are. from now on. now tell me who did this to you?"

"oh remus i can't," you shook your head.

"okay... but you can talk to me about anything okay? it doesn't have to be important. that's what friends are for," he smiled.

and oh when you smiled back, was like heaven to him. you looked like an ethereal angel with that divine smile and that archangelic face. he might as well fall in love right then and there.

the sparkles in your eyes that hold such loneliness and hope is what he calls beauty. the way you smiles even when you're sad just to assure him that you will be okay is heart warming. to him you weren't just beautiful for something as temporary as your face. you're beauty hides beneath that broken heart of yours, that delicate soul you have.

you opened up after a while, you feel you can trust remus. he is a calm and caring person. the way he asks 'how are you' every morning since. he wrapped his arm around your shoulder because he doesn't want to lose you in the sea of students. he cuts your breakfast so you can eat them easier. he reads to you softly when you cried again because of your friends.

he didn't know how much this has helped you to be okay again. how much you adored him for everything he does, even the questionable ones. you didn't care.

"rem, want to talk to you," you spoke, breaking his gaze from his book.

"i'm all ears, darling," he replied.

"you wanna know why i keep on crying?," you sniffed, ready to open up for the first time. "it's because- cause cassie, elina, and adrienne. they keep saying bad things about me- that you probably heard already. i used to always think we're friends, maybe not the kind like- you and me. but just friends... i guess. they keep leaving me out. it's like they don't even want me there." you were wiping tears away now, feeling unsure of yourself.

you never spoke of your feelings like this. never to anyone. how can remus made it so easy for you to be transparent to him?

"oh angel, they don't deserve you. they're too full of themselves to see how worthy you are. i think- i think you're the perfect just how you are. forget about them yeah? we will start a new beginning. you can come and sit with me from now on. no need to care about them. i will never make you sad, promise."

he pulled you to his chest, embracing you in a warm hug.

he made a promise to himself that every week, he will give you gifts and such to remind you how important you are. how much he loves and cares about you.

he couldn't let you waste your tears for your past friendship. remus treats you like a princess. he wants to make you smile. seeing you happy is what matters most because a dream girl should live in a dreamworld. and he made it a mission to make a perfect world for you.

he remembered you saying how those girls never invited you to picnics so here he is, inviting you to join the picnic he has set just for you and him.

"oh rem, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done!" you sighed, sitting yourself down on the carpet.

"it's nothing! you deserve it," he smiled proudly, pouring you and himself a cup of chamomile tea. your favourite.

there's something sparkling in your wrist. the shine of it glimmering under the perfect weather. you were wearing a bracelet remus gave to you a few days ago. a pretty silver chain with a moon and angel wings intertwined together.

when he first saw the jewelery on the display, it immediately reminded him of you so he just had to buy two of them. a matching bracelet.

god, nobody has ever even given you a friendship bracelet before.

he saw you, picking up the fresh strawberries with your delicate hands. 'what a dreamy girl' he thought 'and to have an angel like her to call my own'

he wanted to kiss you right there. everything was perfect at the moment. the soft honey rays of the sunshine warms the air surrounding the two of you, there's no reason for remus to scoot over closer to your figure. but he did anyways.

"i like a girl, no i actually love her," he started.

your heart sank, you thought maybe-just maybe remus is the one. he pulled you right out of misery in the best way.

remus saw your crestfallen expression, though he continued, "she makes my heart jump. she's the girl i've been in love with for a long time, i wanna go wherever she goes."

you forced a smile at him, munching on your strawberry that suddenly turned sour.

"she gets sad often, but that doesn't stop her from taking care of the people around her, and herself. she's smart and wise. she inspires me actually. everytime we say goodnight, i go to bed and sleep happily. dreaming of happy thoughts because when she's around, there's no negativity."

"i love her- y/n," he said, hinting at the way he emphasised your name.

"can i know who she is?" you asked shyly.

"can you guess?"

"i don't know..."

"well, i see her everytime," remus said, a smile playing on his lips.

"you see a lot of people everyday," you replied.

"i said everytime not everyday," he chuckled.

"that's not possible!"

"it is actually. i could never get tired of her. anyone is crazy if they do," he shook his head. "okay.. she smells like the most cosiest bakery in town."

"i don't think i know anyone that smells like a bakery."

"of course you don't, darling," remus said, cupping your cheeks. "'cause it's you. i'm in love with you,"

"wha- me?" you knitted your brows. he caressed them away.

"yes you, it's obvious actually. i thought you knew," remus chucked. "i don't have matching bracelets with anyone else, i never go on picnics, i never crochet someone a sweater before, i could go on but i want to hear what you have to say."

"i love you too, it's inevitable," you said, rubbing your cheeks further on his palms.

"can i kiss you?" he asked. he always considered himself a gentleman and he will be the most gentlemanly when it comes to you.

you responded with a soft nod, then he pressed his lips against yours. slowly but surely, he felt you melting in the kiss and god does that feel way more magical than the daydreams he had about this. his tongue manoeuvred its way inside your mouth, meeting yours in a soft touch that sent shivers down your spine. he loves the way you taste, licking the remnants of strawberry juice in your mouth.

he placed his hand on the back of your head while the other wrapped itself around waist, making you impossibly closer to him.

you didn't know how long that lasted but when you pulled away, the both of your cheeks were bright red and the smiles couldn't be wiped away.

[cassandraclare]

Hi Cassie!! Sorry to bother you but I feel like Ty would be more likely to have panic attacks than Dru. I have evaluated the situation and Ty seems to have more trauma and anxiety than her. Adding onto that I’m hoping Kit and Ash don’t have too similar powers. I feel like Kit should be more powerful as Ash only as Ash didn’t get much powers especially since the king didn’t have the black volume the whole time he had Ash. I also think Kit she be more powerful than Magnus for reasons.

I've gotten a lot of emails about how Ty should be the one who has panic attacks, not Dru. Usually the idea is that he should have panic attacks because he has 'more trauma and anxiety' than Dru, specifically because of Livvy's death and Ty being "more close" to her.

The thing is, that isn't how characters work because it isn't how people work. “Amount of trauma” is not an objective measurable thing, and not everyone responds the same ways even to the same things happening to them.

Of course Ty and Dru have both experienced trauma. But it is not as if there is a certain "level of trauma", like "level 6" beyond which everyone has panic attacks, and Ty is a trauma 7 while Dru is only a trauma 5. None of that is how people work or panic disorders work or really how anything works. The question is a lot about, I think, an anxiety that somehow because Dru has panic attacks this means the narrative will consider Ty to have no trauma at all and be dandy about everything, and I can only say that that's not the case.

One thing I rarely see acknowledged in these letters is that Ty is not grieving Livvy currently. Everyone else in his family is, but he lives with her, she talks to him all the time, she's entirely present in his life. Yes, she is a ghost, but people can get by on a lot less than Ty has with Livvy. I think it's worth noting that what Ty is currently experiencing re: Livvy is not grief but denial.

At the end of the day, there are all sorts of ways of responding to trauma and grief. The acknowledgement that someone has been through trauma is not something they have to earn, nor are panic attacks a thing given to one character at the expense of another who has somehow deserved them more. What is important about how characters respond to loss and trauma is that it be consistent with the character and their growth, and that's something that can't be evaluated before a book is read. :)

As for Kit having the most powers of anyone, well, we will see. It's not really how power works in the Shadowhunter world. We don't spend a lot of time thinking about whether Clary or Magnus is more powerful because what they can do is so different, and what Kit and Ash can do is also very different. Also in evaluating who gets what power level I would say it's important to consider whether they will be friends or deadly enemies – which is something we don't yet know!

[theinsanefoxwriter]

Gregory Deserves Better...

I never make actual posts to be honest, but I feel the need to right now, because I’m just so…tired of this. My favorite character in the newer FNAF era has been mistreated by both fans and the creators. So I’m making this in light of the new book coming that, at least from the description we have right now, sounds like it’s just Security Breach, except Gregory is replaced by Cassie.

I’ve said many times elsewhere how I suspected they wanted to boot Gregory for Cassie, and...I had no idea how right I actually was. It angers me, but…mostly, I’m just hurt and very disappointed, because it sucks to see a character I loved get so disrespected then practically replaced. The ending of Ruin felt like a slap in the face, and the sting is only getting worse. (And very quickly, in case anybody takes this from what I'm saying, no I don't hate Cassie. I just don't want her to completely replace Gregory.) I’m not here to talk about that situation, though.

If anyone for some reason leaves a comment arguing the points I make, I’m just going to ignore or even delete it. I’m not here to discuss or argue with people who disagree with me and/or think Gregory is a bad character. I just want to express an opinion that I don’t think is said nearly enough. And that opinion is the fact Gregory is severely misunderstood and mistreated by both the fandom and canon itself. I’m not going to get into everything, but enough that you can hopefully understand the point I’m trying to make.

Most of the Gregory hate at the beginning was due to him destroying the animatronics and then lying about it to Freddy. I don’t see how this makes him hateable or a bad person. “Why’d he have to go out of his way to destroy them?” “He’s a bad person for lying to Freddy and giving him the upgrades of his friends.” “The Glamrocks were so awesome. Why did Gregory have to do that?” What kid in danger would want to help or be nice to the scary robots trying to kill them? Or against the better argument, why would he have sympathy for them in a moment of intense danger? When they were actively trying to kill him? He did what he thought he needed to survive, which was destroying them and using the good parts they had to give him a better chance against them. If they had been nice, he would have liked them, but they weren’t. They were after him. And choosing to do that plus being able to do that doesn’t make him a bad person, and it doesn’t mean he's uncaring towards others or that he’s heartless. What I think people don't take into account is that Gregory did befriend an animatronic, the one who wasn't attacking him. He went to great lengths to help Freddy, and genuinely cared for him; that bear needed to be rescued on more than one occasion lol, and Gregory clearly wasn't just doing it because Freddy gives him a hiding place.

And in regard to the lying, I think Gregory hid that he was getting the upgrades from Freddy's friends, because he didn't want to make Freddy mad or hurt his feelings. That does sound like something a kid would do, and he is a kid. He's not gonna be perfect in this situation, and he doesn't even do anything that bad. I don't think Gregory gets enough credit. Everybody just sees a mouthy kid destroying animatronics they like (despite the fact they're hunting him, and the virus has made them basically mindless. Why wouldn’t he?), and they hate on him for it and other rather stupid reasons. Gregory is more than the “annoying” kid who destroyed your favorite animatronics. He’s a clearly guarded and defensive child who got stuck in a bad and terrifying situation, but…in the end, stayed anyway to prevent this and other bad things from happening to anyone else. Gregory cares. Yes, even if he destroyed some animatronics. The creators calling him the “darkness of the Pizzaplex” or whatever they said doesn’t make sense. On the surface, he might look like some child who destroyed Freddy’s friends, but look any deeper at all, and that’s not the case. There’s so much potential for his character, and I’m upset that he isn’t being given the spotlight or time to further explore his potential properly, especially since Security Breach ended up being a bit lacking in a lot of areas: perhaps another factor in why he’s so misunderstood.

In the end, I’m simply tired of seeing a character that I connected with treated like he was just a writing mistake that now needs to be replaced by a “better” character. I’m not saying his writing was perfect, but he deserves way better than this. I feel very passionate about the characters I like, which is why this has affected me so much, and I hope at least a few people see this.

Anything I missed I’m going to touch on briefly here:

GGY? A cool concept, actually, that I wish was utilized in the games. And Gregory is clearly possessed there, similar to Vanessa, so him being Patient 46 and causing people’s deaths can’t actually be held against him.

Dropping the elevator on Cassie? I firmly believe that was not him, and very clearly the Mimic’s doing. There’s solid evidence behind it, but I’m not going to get into it because it’s exhausting. Just know that no one can convince me otherwise. And even if the writers wanted Gregory to do that, it’s out of character and clearly an act of character assassination.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Now go hug a misunderstood gremlin!

[thevoidstaredback]

Everyone's comm beeps in their ear, drawing their attention. "Kon, Jon, Cassie, and Bart all know now. I'm bribing them with the footage of Phase One." Tim's voice says. Their comms beep again and the line goes silent.

Dick sighs. Yeah, that checks. Honestly, he's surprised those four hadn't been told way earlier than now.

"What's wrong?" Wally asks from beside him.

"Nothing," ha answers. He finishes the drink in his hand in one go.

Wally snorts softly. "Yeah, sure. I assume someone's blown it?"

"Tim and Dami. Both Superboy's, Wonder Girl, and Impulse all know now."

"Our Wonder Girl?"

"Tim's.

"Ah." A beat. "The problem?"

"No problem. Though, B might say something."

"I thought he was all for telling the teams?"

"He is! This was all his idea! But Tim's bribing the other four with the footage of the Cave."

"You mean the footage that I haven't seen yet?"

"Yep."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Wally grabs his hand, "Let's go get Donna and go watch!"

Dick sighs again and goes along. He clicks his own comm on and says, "Me, Wally, and Donna are gonna come watch, too. Wally insists."

Damian's voice comes next. "Since when does Troy know?"

"Probably since I told her and Wally."

"What?" Steph's voice whines, "You've had two people know for so long?"

Before he can respond, Barbra hisses, "Hey! This is supposed to be a distraction free line, guys."

Jason snorts, "Me, Roy, Lian, and Duke are on our way, too. You girls should come watch; we'll make a party out of it."

"Good idea," Cass says.

Dick can see Bruce on the other side of the room, unable to react to a thing that's being said in his ear. Ha!

***

Bruce watched his kids all leave the room. He's glad that their teams know, though why did they have to let it slip while the party was still going on? Oh, well, nothing to do about it now. Especially because Oliver's agreed to give a speech.

"Ollie, dear, it's time for your speech now, isn't it?"

"Ah, yes." Oliver says, light pink dusting his cheeks at the address Bruce had been using since they were in high school. He made his way to the stage, the band quieting as he took the podium. "If I may have everyone's attention for just a moment?"

Great start, Ollie.

"Like all of you, the invitation to this gala tonight came as a surprise. A welcome one, but a surprise nonetheless. Now, I won't keep your attention for long, but, on behalf of Bruce, I'd like to thank everyone for coming tonight. This Gala tonight, Charity for Justice, is a fantastic way for us to give back to the people who work so hard to save us. And it's not just the Justice League; Doctors, Teachers, Veterans, et cetera. They're all heroes who deserve all the help we can give them. Being here tonight, while it may seem superficial, is a step in the right direction to helping the heroes of the world. Now, I don't know how Bruce is going to get this money to the Justice League, but I'm not one to questions his ways or his motivations. He's been a friend of mine since we were in high school, and I trust him with my life. Thank you, Bruce, for hosting tonight; And thank you all for coming and donating." Nodding to the audience, Oliver walked from the stage as they clapped.

Bruce smiled at Oliver as they met at the bottom of the stairs leading to the stage. "Thanks, Ollie. I didn't know you trusted me so much."

Oliver matched his smile. "'Course I do, Brucie! And what you're doing tonight is really good. I might just have to steal this idea from you."

Laughing, Bruce patted Oliver's shoulder before taking his place on the stage. "Thanks, Oliver, for speaking tonight. I know it was last minute, but you did great." The crowd chuckled a bit as Oliver raised the glass he now held. "At the risk of sounding like a broken record, thanks again, everyone, for coming here tonight. I know a lot of you are far from home, but it means a lot that you made the trip out.

"Admittedly, this entire gala was a spur of the moment decision. My kids, actually, came up with the idea, so if you're going to thank anyone, it should be them. They did everything on their own while sat back and let them do their thing.

"When you think of heroes, you're most likely to think of the Justice League and their sidekicks. But, who were the heroes before the Justice League was founded? Perseus, Heracles, Aeneas, Remus, Romulus, Vldar, Ragnar Lodbrok, Hua Mulan, Guan Yu. All of them were warriors. But, does combat make a hero? I don't think so. I think the thing that makes a hero is the willingness to help; the willingness to give even if you have nothing to give; the willingness to do what it takes to make sure someone gets to live even just a little bit longer.

"Oxford dictionary defines the word 'hero' as "a person who is admired or idealized for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities". While I agree, I think that this is a much too niche definition. After all, I've met hundreds of people who I would consider heroes, heard thousands more stories- and not one of them has been 'admired' or 'idealised' for it.

"Tonight, I've asked for donations from each of you. All of the money will be going towards helping the heroes of the world; those who are recognised as such, those who aren't, and everyone in between. Every donation made will be matched by not only myself, but Wayne Industries as well. Then, all the money will be anonymously give to the heroes of every city represented here.

"Again, I'm so glad everyone could make it tonight, and I'm beyond glad that you've all be generous enough to help our heroes. Please enjoy the rest of your evening." The applause was loud as he walked off stage, the music picking up softly before crescendoing as the crowd began talking again.

The comm in his ear clicked just before Barbra started speaking. "That was a good speech, B. Brought some of us to tears."

He picked up a drink and sipped it as he spoke into his own comm piece. "You're watching the cameras?"

"Naturally," Damian said.

"We're all too comfortable to move," Tim explained, "So Bab's pulled the cameras up on the TV just as Oliver finished speaking."

"I've never heard Batman talk so much..." That was Bart Allen, clearly close enough to hear him over Tim's line, but not close enough to be intentional.

"Hell," Donna was probably sprawled across Dick and Wally, "I've never seen him express emotion and I knew who he was!"

Bruce hid a laugh and a smirk behind his drink. "Watch it, now."

There were a few squeaks as the comms all clicked off, Barbra taking care of his as well.

The ballroom was emptying, slower than he would like, but faster than expected. The kids (because that's what they are, no matter how old they may be) all trickled back into the ballroom, waving goodbye and joining their families as they went, though his own kept themselves near the door to say goodbye to everyone leaving. He decided to join them.

Just as Oliver, Dinah, Roy, and Lian were leaving, he stopped his old friend and pulled him aside.

Oliver's guard was still down, relaxed even as Bruce pulled him into a completely empty room and shut the door. He heard the click of a comm turning on, though no one spoke, so he could only assume it was his own.

"I was just about to head home; What's up, Bruce?"

"Oliver, there's something I need to tell you." This was gonna be so funny.

"Bruce?"

When had first started out, he knew that having the same voice in and out of costume would be a potentially detrimental mistake, so he'd dropped his voice as low as he dared and added the grit to it. Eventually, he'd gotten a voice changer, but he'd kept up the training to make sure he didn't damage his voice in case the voice changer ever broke.

Taking a deep breath, Bruce turned around and dropped his voice. "I'm Batman."

Part 16 Part 18

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Question for you; how do you think the rest of the war would have shaken up if Jake had actually killed Tom in #31?

I'm sure Jake's home life and ability to lead would be impacted, possibly Rachel too. And the whole end of the series would definitely be different.

Would to Yeerks even notice that Tom + his yeerk are gone? Since they pretty much sentence that yeerk to death anyway

Okay, so let's be clear: it wouldn't be Jake killing Tom. It'd be Marco. Jake spends the entire book alternately fucking up (e.g. demorphing in broad daylight 10' from Tom) and begging Tobias to tell him what to do. Marco spends the entire book actually leading the damn Animorphs. When it comes down to the wire, Jake stands there and has a (fully understandable) panic attack while Marco runs around coordinating not only Plan A to land Tom in the hospital but Plan B to kill him, and possibly Plan C to burn the house down.

So. Marco kills Tom, thereby saving Steve's life and also the planet.

• Jake falls apart. Saving Tom has been his reason for existence since the first battle, his only guiding star during the worst of the war. Not only did he lose his brother, but he tore his family apart.

• Marco falls apart. There are very few people Marco loves, but he would burn down the world for the sake of those few. And in the span of a few weeks, Marco has murdered one of those people, destroyed the life of the other. This war isn't worth it anymore. Maybe the yeerks deserve to have the planet, because there's nothing here worth saving.

• Rachel tries to keep the fight going, Tobias and Ax her only support. They've given up so much for this war already, and it'd be a disservice to every damn human on the planet to call it quits now. Every damn human includes Tom, for the record.

She held him down, a hand over his nose and mouth, knees on his chest, until Marco had forced him fully under the water. Together they leaned their weight onto his body, together they pressed him into the mud, until at last he stopped struggling. Then they left him there, floating face-down in the shallows, and staggered back to the woods to try and scrub the filthy water from their bodies.

Rachel's pretty sure Marco didn't see the tiny shape dart away from the side of Tom's head into the dark water beyond, in the half-second before he went limp. It was a fish. An eel. It was nothing at all. She saw nothing.

She dreams, often, about that nothing.

• Cassie stays on the team for now, because she won't consign all of humanity to die. But her friendship with Rachel is fraying at the seams. They snap at each other often, hang out rarely. Cassie worries about Rachel, and Rachel about Cassie, more than either one of them will say out loud.

• Tom was nobody. A dumb kid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The yeerk who died that day, on the other hand? That guy was everything, for the war.

• Tobias escapes the Community Center, and a yeerk called Sub-Visser Fifty-One inside a girl called Taylor, with seconds to spare. There was a mission to destroy the Anti-Morphing Ray, and it almost succeeded. Rachel doesn't have Marco's strategic mind, Jake's cold willingness to sacrifice a friend. She burns the building to the ground to try and destroy the prototype.

It doesn't work. In fact, it backfires — by the end of the month, Visser Three has quadrupled the budget for the devices.

The second generation is smaller than the first, more agile. So it's only two weeks before the inevitable happens.

• «Prince Jake,» Ax says, landing on his windowsill. «We must evacuate you and your family immediately. The yeerks have seen Rachel in her demorphed form, and it will not be long before they connect her to you.»

Jake sits up in bed, which seems to take an age. "They know." He probably means it as a question, but it comes out monotone.

«Yes,» Ax says. «They know. They are likely already on their way.»

"Oh." Jake turns over onto his side, curling into a ball. "Okay, then. Let them come."

«Yeah.» The gorilla shoulders open the door to Jake's closet, lumbering across the room. «We were afraid you were going to say that.» Grabbing Jake around the waist, Marco slings him over one shoulder and heads for the stairs.

• Jake, in true Jake fashion, becomes the one to explain to his parents what actually happened to Tom. Not a freak accident. Not a product of stress and bad decisions and swimming alone. Nothing to do with the empty whisky bottle Cassie thought to plant near the shore, hating herself for having thought of it.

• While the others languish in the hork-bajir valley, Rachel and Cassie take the morphing cube and travel to the San Dimas Hospital's long-term recovery ward. They travel to the San Luis Obispo School for the Blind. They travel to community centers and closed workshops, and they recruit all the help they can get.

The number of Animorphs doubles, then triples.

The number of controllers increases one hundredfold.

• Cassie broaches it just once. "Tobias," she says. He's the only one left she can trust, it seems like. "You remember what happened with Aftran? How we were able to help her, so that she didn't have to fight anymore?"

But of course it doesn't work. Tobias respects her enough to call for a vote, that's it. Rachel is flatly against. Ax is so betrayed that Cassie would even float the suggestion, he flees to the far side of the valley and won't speak to her for weeks.

"I can see where you're coming from," Marco, of all people, says to her. "But there are too many ways it could go wrong."

"I know," Cassie says miserably. "I know."

"If..." Marco looks toward where Ax went, checking he's gone. "If it comes to peace negotiations. I think we should offer. In exchange for being left alone. But until then, we can't afford to risk our biggest advantage."

"You're right," Cassie says. "And thanks for thinking about it."

Jake is technically there for this entire conversation. At one point he even lifts his head halfway, when Cassie reaches out to put a hand on his arm.

• Visser Three declares open war on Earth. The first nuclear bombs fall the following day.

• Mass evacuations of human-controllers are going on as quickly as the yeerks' ships can move. Rachel and Ax sneak on board one Pool ship transport, sabotaging its engines so that it spirals out of control while still in atmosphere.

It's a double victory: the Pool ship slams into a Blade ship on its wild wavering trajectory. All in all over 100,000 controllers die in the crash.

It's a half victory. Only Ax makes it home.

• War-Prince Asculan-Semitur-Langor declares war on Earth. Antarctica disappears in a flash, and Australia is swallowed by the sea.

• James Bly, Commander-in-Chief of the Earth Resistance, sues for peace. He surrenders the skies to the andalites, surrenders the forests to the taxxons. He surrenders 10% of the surviving human population to the Yeerk Empire.

• Quarantine, the andalites assure James. Just for now. Just to keep the yeerks contained. It's only a quarantine.

[cookieruma29]

About your backstabber page, deserved. Even if Gregory didn't do it, still kind deserved.

Heheh. Yes, he singed total eclipse of the heart and killed his grandma and making Cassie join the mimic.

[moaloves]

YJ98 as stupid shit my friends and I have said

"May the odds be ever in your fucking favor YOU HAVE AUTISM" -Bart to Tim

"I feel like a husband finding out his wife is pregnant for the fourth time" -Kon

"And I thought those plumber porn videos were lies" "WHAT?" "Being in here is making me realize all those awkward angles aren't unrealistic" -Cassie and Cissie

"That sounds like a drag queen prostitute or a Wreck it Ralph villain that is a little too cunty to be straight" -Bart (probably about Slobo)

"Men are weird, THAT man deserves to be studied under close observation" -Red Tornado about Bart

"I thought macaroons were a fruit no joke" -Bart

"Alright streetwalker put the money makers away we're going to see GOD" -Anita to Cassie

"Ah yes before the time travel but after the world-ending apocalypse" -Kon

"Why do you have so much-autism" -Kon to Tim

"He will have to bestie up with Jesus Christ, and I'm JEWISH. Do you know hard you have to partner up with someone else's god?!" -Tim

"Oh boy 800 mg ibuprofen and chocolate cake, truly the food of kings" -Greta to Tim

[insolentgod]

⚠️Attention:⚠️ very long post. It talks a little about: state of lack, take your desire off the pedestal, time it takes for a manifestation, get distracted about your manifestation , self-concept, and Cassies

one more night high and having crazy epiphanies about manifestations. and another day using a translator to translate my text to post here, because I haven't claimed to be fluent in English yet 😛 So, as I always warn, if there are possible grammatical errors, it's for this reason.

I'm here to bring you an analogy I created while discussing with a friend haha. (Yes, this time there's nothing about lana del rey!)

you know those people who humiliate themselves for others? Who do everything for someone specific to love them, try to talk to them even if it's unhealthy, or beg them to stay in their lives. (yes, it's quite depressing and sad)

i haven't been like that much in life, usually when someone didn't care about me, i cared even less about them. but I won't lie, there have been situations where I may have humiliated myself a little, but it's human.

anyway, going straight to my analogy, let's imagine that you struggling to manifest something is a friend "Cassie," and the manifestation will be her ex-boyfriend, okay? (i swear it will make sense in the end)

what I write outside the parentheses is Cassie's situation, and what's inside the parentheses is possibly the situation you're going through on your manifestation journey.

okay, you have this friend Cassie who keeps saying that her ex-boyfriend doesn't care about her, doesn't respond to messages, and shows no signs, and she's going crazy and desperate about it (just like you when you see no progress in your manifestation). so she does EVERYTHING to get him back (just like you when you try multiple methods non-stop and feel needy). and as Cassie's friend, you think, "poor cassie, she doesn't deserve to suffer like this" (and she really doesn't deserve it, just as you don't deserve to suffer for your manifestations). there are also moments when she sends a message for you saying, "I'll forget him this time, I promise." but after two days, she's there messaging him again (just like you affirm on the first day all motivated and trying to convince yourself that this time your manifestation will come true, but after a few days, you see no progress and start panicking), and then she gets very sad because she thinks they will never get back together and she will never be happy with him again (just like you think you can't manifest anything, that the universe hates you, that you will never get what you want, that the loa doesn't work). But meanwhile, there are other people out there getting back with their exes and you admire them, wondering what it would be like if it were you... (just like when you look at other people's success stories and think "why can't I do it?") spoiler: You can do it too, honey. If everyone else can do it, so can you. Wake up.

If I were Cassie's friend, I would tell her to STOP acting like that and start valuing herself and just distract herself. because let's be honest, men ALWAYS come back, right? 🤣 and many people may disagree with me on this and think that if she doesn't chase after the guy, he won't come either. but that's how it works for me, even before I started using the law. every time I started valuing myself and stopped begging for others' love, the person came to me. so let's agree with my thinking on this, okay?

and one more point that I think is worth mentioning is that if Cassie really doesn't want to do this alone, maybe a manifestation coach would be a good idea (if it were a real situation, I would suggest her to seek a therapist). There are nuances about "manifestation coaches," I honestly don't use them and I recommend working on your self-concept. but it's an option if you want, but please do thorough research and find a trustworthy one.

returning, what can you do to not be another Cassie? I'm telling you to stop doing whatever you're doing to try to achieve your desire? no. just get out of the state of neediness and desperation, like a Cassie. you don't need that, my love. you don't need to worry, "Is my manifestation coming?" You don't need to use a thousand methods because you don't think it's enough. whatever you believe will bring your desires, will indeed bring your desire. If you believe that jumping three times, building a castle, and kicking an elderly person will give you what you want, guess what? If you do all that, then you will get what you desire. and if you believe that affirming once in your life will get you a beachfront mansion, guess what? you will achieve that.

so, to not be a Cassie:

1 - trust what you're saying, please trust yourself. nnow that ONLY WHAT YOU THINK is the truth, and it will be. (my last long post talks about this exactly, I highly recommend it, okay).

2 - take your desire off the pedestal. your desire may be your biggest dream in life, I don't care. take it off the pedestal. the powerful person who can have anything they want is YOU, not your desire. tou are a thousand times greater than your desire. you don't chase after your desire, your desire chases after you. you know when manifestation coaches tell you to start manifesting just a blue butterfly or a candy? well, it's because for you, that's not difficult. It's something you find easy to manifest and know it's totally possible to have. but you can literally manifest a Porsche at the same speed as manifesting an ice cream, okay? take your desire off the pedestal; you are fully capable of having it.

3 - get out of the state of lack. In the law of assumption, some people talk a lot about states and some manifest just by being in the state of the wish fulfilled and ready, they succeed. but the state of lack is literally when you feel the lack, the absence of your desire. you don't feel like you have it or you don't feel worthy of it, so you probably fall into a spiral of despair with millions of thoughts like "what will I do if I don't achieve it?" "I don't see any progress" "time is passing and I don't have my results". Anyway,

- But what do I do to heal my state of lack?

just don't be in it 💐💐💐 yes, it's easy, okay. please believe that it's easy and it will be. I know it's very easy to affirm when you're motivated, especially after reading a success story. but motivation doesn't last forever and I don't think it's healthy for you to keep restoring your motivation by reading success stories all the time. there's nothing wrong with it, but you don't need success stories to heal. every time you feel like you're entering the state of lack, start trusting yourself. when it happens to me, I start affirming "none of this, I have my desires" "I don't care about what my 3D shows me" "I have what I want", I also imagine myself with my desire as if I really have it now. I'll admit, there are times when I start affirming this to avoid entering the state of lack and at first it feels like I'm feeling wrong, the feeling of hopelessness even. but regardless of how I feel, I keep visualizing and eventually start feeling strong and motivated again. in those moments, you have to be strong and disciplined with yourself, okay? you can do it.

4 - try not to care about time or the 3D reality. i know it's difficult, but please live in your imagination and believe that if you have it in your imagination, you have it now. about time, it depends, okay? Some people manifest in seconds because they believe they can, while others manifest in weeks because they think it takes weeks. if you're the second type of person, you can definitely manifest in seconds if you allow yourself to do so. self-concept affirmations help a lot in this aspect. Just don't worry about time in the 3D reality. If you know that in your mind you have your desire NOW, then you have it now. once you're fully living in your imagination, it will come in the 3D reality. I know it's difficult, but just trust yourself and your mind. I promise that if you live 100% in your mind, your desire can come very quickly.

5 - distract yourself! don't spend the whole day thinking about your desire. usually, the desire comes when you accept that you have it and continue living your life. I know it's complicated, especially when it's something you want, but distract yourself to avoid excessive and negative thoughts about your manifestations. and please get off tumblr for a while

6 - improve your self-concept, please. Just do that, and your manifestation journey will be much easier.

I think that's it for today. I talked a lot as always 😛😛

I usually don't respond to people asking for help here on my blog (mainly because I don't receive any requests) but if you're having problems, you can send me a message, and I'll respond ❤‍🩹 I just want to help someone like loa bloggers helped me when I needed it. good night everyone, and stay hydrated.

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 9

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : After relapsing, Y/N wakes up next to Marshall. She confronts Cassie and has an anxiety attack.

Tags : Angst, Comfort

CW : Bullying, Alcohol, Drugs, Relapse, Anxiety attack, Mention of masturbation

When you woke up, you were feeling groggy and nauseous. You groaned at the memory from last night. You felt some stirring beside you. It was Marshall, laying next to you on top of the covers. 

Hey, he said in a raspy voice. How are you feeling ? Better ? 

Mmmmh, you moaned. 

He groaned and yawned. 

How about we try some words ? He asked. How are you feeling, Y/N ? 

Ashamed, you mumbled. 

Shocker. 

You stared at him as he rubbed his eyes. You couldn’t help but think that he looked perfect, even in the morning. He was pretty damn sexy, only wearing gray sweatpants with no shirt on. He scratched his beard before looking at you. 

Did you sleep here ? You asked. 

No, I slept in the garden but decided to come back here before you woke up, he said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. Yes I slept here. I wanted to make sure you were alright. 

Thanks, you said. You could have slept in your bedroom, you know ? Instead of here with me. 

And risk finding you dead in a puddle of your own barf ? Nope, he groaned. I don’t feel like having forensics in the house on a Sunday morning. The press would have a field day, though. 

Oh my God, the press…, you murmured as you remembered the flashing camera from last night. 

I called Paul after you fell asleep, he said. He’s going to try and get the picture deleted. He gave me so much shit about it. 

I’m sorry, you whispered as you took your face in your hands. 

You were embarrassed. There was so much that you needed to apologize for. 

It’s fine, he shrugged. It’s Paul anyway. He gives me shit all the time. That’s kind of his job, you know ? 

I’m so sorry I ruined your night… 

You didn’t, he said in a softer voice. I mean, I could have done without the worry, for sure, but my night pretty much sucked anyway. 

Why ? You asked. 

I hate that kind of events, he shrugged. I was there because the Lions PR Team wanted me to do some promo shit. I was supposed to meet someone there to talk about that but I ended up swarmed by drunk people bugging me about the album. And then, I had to take some ho to my place, he chuckled.

God, I am so embarrassed, you whined. 

About what part exactly ? He grinned. 

All of it ? You said. I mean, you had to help my grown-ass to undress and shower and you held my hair while I threw up. That’s pretty damn embarrassing. 

He chuckled and looked at you. 

Yup, he simply said. 

I’d say the outfit and kissing people was pretty embarrassing, too. And… Oh my God I danced, too, you whined. 

Oh yeah. That was some dancing, he grinned. 

Just kill me, please, you whined. 

He let out a laugh as you buried your face in your hands. Suddenly, the idea of digging a hole and dying there was quite appealing.

It’s fine, he said with a chuckle. I mean, you got some good moves. Didn’t expect you to, to be honest. 

Yeah, I don’t know about that… 

It wasn’t that bad, I promise. You put on quite a show on the dance floor. 

God, I made a fool of myself, you sighed. 

I don’t think you did, he said earnestly. Everyone there was doing the same thing anyway… But yeah, that was a bit foolish. I mean, it’s just not you, Y/N. 

You nodded softly. 

I don’t deserve you being so nice to me, you sighed. 

Me being an ass to you wouldn’t help matters, he shrugged. Besides, you already know what you did wrong. You’re a grown woman. 

I thought you were going to kill me, back there, you whispered. 

Dramatic, much ? He chuckled. I mean, yeah, I wasn’t really pleased with you. I was mostly worried, though… 

Mmmh. 

I thought you were doing good, you know ? He explained. You were sober for, what… Four months ? 

Yeah, going on five, you said with a hint of sadness. And now I threw it all away…

Slipping… it happens, he said. What matters is that you’re able to dust yourself off and try again. 

Easy for you to say, you mumbled. You’ve been sober for fifteen years. 

He scoffed and shook his head. 

You’re not the only person it happens to, you know ? He sighed. I’ve tried to quit a few times before I managed to stop for good. I’ve slipped-up and relapsed a few times. Even after rehab. 

You did ? You asked. 

Yeah. So I’ve been there and I know how you feel. I just wish I would have known you were struggling, he said. 

I wasn’t struggling, you said. I mean… There were times lately, when I missed drinking, but that’s about it. I think that… I have been feeling a bit lonely, mostly. 

You didn’t tell me that, he pointed out. 

Does it matter ? 

Of course it does, he said softly. You matter. 

You let out a small “aw” and blushed. He sat up and stroked your shoulder. 

So, what happened last night that led you to this ? Walk me through it, ok ? 

You sighed and proceeded to tell him everything. How happy you were to see Cassie, how generous and kind she was to you and how much you didn’t want to disappoint her or let her down. How her calling you a dud made you want to gain her approval so badly. You also mentioned that, regardless of the fact that you had messed up, you looked up to her and you wished you could be more like her but only seemed to get as sociable when you were under the influence. 

This girl is a bully, he scoffed. 

No she’s not, you replied. 

That’s high school mean girl 101, Y/N, he said. You do realize she used you as a prop, right ? She played with you like a doll, she dressed you up in that skimpy outfit, ignored you when she wanted to flirt with people and used you to arouse men, either by kissing you or suggesting threesomes…

Well, if you put it like that, it does make her look pretty bad, you mumbled. But she’s my friend ! 

She's not, he groaned. Talia is your friend. Jamal is your friend. I am your friend. This girl ? Nope. 

You sighed. Maybe he was right on some level, but you didn’t want to hear it. After all, Cassie had been there for you numerous times. 

Well, I have to see her today, you said. I still have stuff in her hotel room. 

I’ll take you, he offered. But first, we should discuss what you’re going to do. 

That’s fair. What am I going to do ? 

First, you’re going to tell Talia and Jamal as soon as I take you home. They’re your roommates and they deserve to know that kind of thing. Lying about it would be a shitty idea anyway, he said. 

Talia’s going to kill me, you said. 

She’s not, he said softly. Then, first thing tomorrow, you’re going to a meeting and calling your sponsor. 

Meetings are on wednesday, you said. 

I’ll get you an appointment with a therapist, then. You need to see someone. The earlier the better. If today wasn’t Sunday, you’d be there already. 

You nodded, but tears were welling in your eyes. 

I can’t do it, you said as you choked on your words. Marshall, I just… I can’t. I can’t face people and tell them I fucked up. 

Hey, he said softly as he took your hand in his. Yes you can, and you will. Shit happens. Do you remember what I said when I took you to the observatory ? 

That I’m not alone ? 

Exactly. Your road to recovery doesn’t have to be a lonely one, he reminded you as he stroked your cheek. I got you. So do Talia and Jamal. The others at the studio too. They love you. 

They do ? You asked. 

Yeah. Everyone thinks you’re great. They keep going on about how cute you are. Especially when you fall asleep on the couch, he chuckled. 

Thank you, you whispered as you let your head roll on his shoulder. I love them too, you know ? 

He kissed the top of your head and decided to get up. 

Get up, Dobby, I’ll make you breakfast, he said. 

Are you really going to call me that ? You groaned before letting out a yawn. 

Yep, he said with a smile. You were right, you do look like a house elf in my tee-shirt. 

I wouldn’t have pegged you as a Harry Potter fan, you said with a grin. 

My youngest was obsessed with the movies and books for a while, he chuckled. She’d be so proud of me right now. Anyway, breakfast in ten minutes, ok ? 

You nodded and took some time to stretch as he walked towards the door. 

Oh, and, Dobby ? You’re much hotter in my clothes than in last night’s dress, he added with a wink. 

He left the room and you were speechless. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks. 

Have you seen my phone ? You asked Marshall when you walked in the kitchen to the smell of pancakes. 

No idea about your phone, but your purse is on the table, he said. 

You grabbed your phone, that was inside your handbag and checked your phone. You had about fifty notifications. Had you been sleeping that long ? Had the world ended without you knowing ? Was someone dead ?

From : Unknown. “Hey. It’s Jared. Loved meeting you tonight. When are you free for dinner ?”

From : Talia. “Is that really you in the picture with Em ???” 

From : Talia. “Hand holding and stuff ?!?! What is happening ??? I thought you were with Cassie ???” 

From : Talia. “CALL. ME. BACK. I need to knoooooow !!!” 

From : Talia. “If you call me back I promise I will let the questionable outfit slide. We need to talk about your fashion sense tho…”

From : Talia. “I know the two of you are probably busy right now, but call me back when you can ??? I hope he is ravishing the shit out of you right now :)”

From : Unknown. “I just saw the pictures online. I didn’t realize you were with Em ! Sorry I suggested that date. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful at all…!” 

It didn’t take too long to figure out the photos had been published. You quickly went online and saw a bunch of headlines. You also received messages from people you hadn’t seen in a long time. It was as if, suddenly, they remembered you. You knew it was no coincidence.You clicked on an article titled “Eminem in love ?!”. 

“Eminem is known to be somewhat of a recluse and very private about his personal life, but he was spotted leaving a fancy fundraising event in Detroit yesterday night, holding hands with an unknown woman. No smile on his face, as usual, but his jacket on her shoulder and the hand-holding says it all ! The rapper was reportedly holding her tightly and keeping her close when they exited the party and hopped in a car, accompanied by his bodyguards. The news has fans in a frenzy and desperate for details. We do not know the name of the woman, who wore a stunning Sandro dress and Jimmy Choo accessories (no doubt gifted by her wealthy beau). It is the first time the Rap God was spotted with a woman since his divorce from ex-wife Kim, with whom he shares three children.”

Fuck, you mumbled under your breath. 

What’s wrong ? He asked as he placed a plate in front of you. 

You gave him your phone. He took a minute to read the article and groaned. 

Guess Paul was too late, he mumbled. I’m sorry about that, Y/N. 

I’m sorry, you said sheepishly. 

I don’t care, he said. I mean, I’m used to dating rumors, you know ? It just sucks for you… 

Well… My phone is buzzing with people congratulating me, you giggled. And at least I don’t look wasted on the pics. Although I think it just cost me a date. 

What date ? He asked suspiciously.

A guy named Jared asked me out yesterday, you explained. He’s a football player. 

Jared Goff ? The Lions quarterback ?! 

Yeah, him. Anyway, he just texted and apologized for asking me on a date and hitting on me, you said. 

Sorry for accidentally cockblocking you, he chuckled.

Maybe that’s karma ? You said with a shy smile. Anyway, I don’t think I would have said yes. I wasn’t really myself last night, after all. Poor guy would have been disappointed

He chuckled and you ate breakfast. 

You know, maybe it’s for the best, he commented between bites. Maybe you should hold back on the dating thing. You’re going to have to focus on recovery anyway. 

I guess, you groaned. That’s unfair though. 

How so ? He asked. 

I can’t get drunk, I can’t take pills, I can’t even smoke a fucking cigarette and now I can’t get laid ?! You blurted out. 

You could tell he wasn’t expecting that statement, as he almost spilled his orange juice. 

Classy, he grinned. 

I’m serious, though, you pouted. I’m feeling lonely. I want affection. I want hugs…

He smiled as he put an arm around your shoulders. 

That’s easily remedied, he said softly.

… and I want sex,you continued. 

Aaaand we’re done, he chuckled as he let go of you. 

How did you do it ? You asked. How did you manage to stay abstinent ? Also, when did you start dating again ? 

You’re 27, for God’s sake, do I really have to explain to you how masturbation works, Y/N ? He groaned as your face reddened. 

But it’s not the same, though, you said. I want contact, I want intimacy. Maybe I should get a friend with benefits…

Right, he chortled. Good luck with that. 

You don’t think I could get one ?! You asked in an offended tone. 

Oh, believe me, after the show you put on last night, I know you could get absolutely anyone, he chuckled. But a lot of people seem to think you are spoken for, now. By yours truly, no less. 

Until you put out a statement, that is, you replied. 

Yeah, I’m not doing that. 

What ?! You asked in disbelief. 

A statement will get people talking. Saying nothing and waiting for the thing to die out is probably the best option, he explained. Besides, I wouldn’t be offended if people thought I was with you. I don’t really mind, to be honest. 

So, you’re not worried that it would cockblock you ? 

Nope. If anything, people might be leaving me alone on the subject for a while. I’m not really into dating anyway, he shrugged. 

Are you some sort of asexual hermit monk ? you asked teasingly. 

I think we’ve established that I’m not, he said with a smirk. Unlike some people, though, I know how to keep it in my pants. 

Oh, I can keep it in my pants, you said as you rolled your eyes. I just don’t really want to. 

Right, he chortled. 

Anyway, do you know if Porter is seeing anyone ?  

He froze as you asked the question and dropped the glass he had in hand, causing it to shatter on the floor. 

Shit, he groaned. You’re not serious right ?!

Relax, I’m joking, you giggled. You should see your face, though. It’s hilarious. 

You’re impossible, he said, rolling his eyes. 

You chuckled and helped him clear the glass pieces on the floor. 

Anyway, I get how you’re feeling. But just be careful, ok ? You need to be safe and healthy. That should come first. Not your sexual urges. To answer your question, I didn’t date for a couple of years after getting sober. I just focused on my family and music. Also, I have found that exercising really gets your mind off… You know, he said with a grin. 

I’ll keep that in mind, you chuckled. 

And if you need hugs, I’m here, he said with a smile. Just hugs though. 

You giggled and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

Thanks for being so amazing, you said. Thank you for being here. 

Anything for you, Dobby, he chuckled. 

Anything ? you smirked. Really ? 

Oh, man… Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this ? He sighed with a grin. 

Well, I do look amazing in that Saint Laurent jacket…, you began. I mean, the pictures in the article prove it. 

Not happening, nope, he said as he shook his head. 

Can’t blame a girl for trying, you giggled. Your closet is full of great pieces. 

I’ll tell you what, he said with a smile, if you’re good and put in some work towards your recovery, I might let you borrow some stuff. 

Really ? You squealed. Even the jacket ?

Yeah. Even the jacket. For every sobriety milestone, you get to borrow a thing for my closet. Except for my sneakers and a few pieces of jewelry. The rest is fair game, he said. 

I’m going to crush recovery, you said cockily. 

Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dobby, he chuckled. You need to stick to therapy, go to meetings, and mostly, you have to call me or anyone else before you fuck up. Not after. Understood ? 

Yes, sir, you giggled. Totally unrelated, but is 10 hours sober a milestone ? 

Go and take a shower and get dressed, he said as he shook his head. I think I have the clothes you left here last time around there somewhere. Then, I’ll take you to the hotel, ok ? 

An hour later, you knocked at the door of Cassie’s hotel room. Marshall was waiting for you in the parking lot. He offered to go up with you, but you figured that you needed to have a talk with your friend, one on one. As much as you didn’t want to believe what Marshall was telling you about her using you, you wanted things to be clear. 

Hey chérie, she said with a smile as she opened the door and let you into the suite. Last night was sooo fun. I do have a bit of a hangover, though. 

Oh yeah ? You asked awkwardly. 

A guy I met took me to an afterparty, she explained. I ended up coming back here in the morning with a couple of people. They just left. 

Oh, did you…? 

Yes, we fucked, she giggled. 

Speaking of which… Can I talk to you ? 

Of course, she shrugged. 

You sat on the couch and your anxiety levels started to rise. You didn’t quite know where to begin. 

What, you mean to tell me that you got laid by Eminem last night ? she chuckled. 

W-What ?! No, absolutely not, you said. 

Relax, she said. I saw the pictures online, but I figured nothing happened. If that’s any comfort, I don’t think anyone is going to believe it anyway. No offense but… You couldn’t get someone like that. 

You furrowed your eyebrows. Was your friend seriously implying that you weren’t good enough for Marshall ?! You sort of knew that already, but it stung. 

What do you mean by that, Cass ? 

What ? Just the truth, Baby, she shrugged. Men like that, they like beautiful, interesting girls. Not that you don’t look good, but… You’re sort of plain, you know ? You see what I mean, don’t you ? 

I don’t, you said. 

Whatever, she said. I just think you’re not the type to hang out with someone like that. Even as a friend, you know ? I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know that. I’m just being honest here. I’m your friend. 

Is that why you basically dragged me into a threesome with him ? Because we’re friends ? 

Oh God, you really haven’t changed, have you ? she asked with a laugh. 

You bit your lip. 

Seriously, you were always so sensitive, Ms Goody Two Shoes. I flirted, it was a joke, alright ? We had kissed earlier because you were being initiating. You’re the one who told me you were horny, remember ? I don’t see what the big deal is. Nothing happened. Even if it did… You would have had a great experience, she said as she rolled her eyes. 

I wasn’t initiating, you muttered. 

You said you were horny, she pointed out. 

Only because of the stuff you gave me, you squealed. 

I gave you this because I knew you wouldn’t have a great time otherwise, Y/N. And guess what ? You had a great time. You danced, you flirted…You were finally acting normal. 

I was drunk. 

What’s the big deal ? She sighed. It happens to everyone. You were drunk, so what ? No one died. 

I just… What I mean to say is… I don’t feel comfortable with what happened last night. It doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not who I am, you know ? You tried to explain, while keeping your composure. 

Maybe you should ask yourself the right questions, Y/N, she scoffed. 

Meaning ? 

Is this really who you want to be ? A 27 year-old dork who is still in school, single, living with two roommates, with a sad social life ? You could do so much better with your life. 

In this instant, she managed to break your heart. Recovery and yesterday’s fuck-up aside, you were pretty proud of who you were. Granted, you didn’t have a lot of friends, a boyfriend or a glamorous job. You weren’t a homeowner either. But you always thought you were doing pretty well, especially considering the hand you had been dealt. 

Is it what you think ? You asked as your voice broke. That I’m not good enough ? 

I didn’t say that, she defended herself. 

I thought you were my friend, you muttered. 

I am your friend, Y/N. I want you to thrive, she shrugged. You should be thanking me. Honestly, do you have a lot of people in your life who want the best for you ? 

I do, you said, feeling extremely defensive. I have Talia and Jamal, I have Marshall… 

For how long though ? she asked. 

What do you mean ? 

I’m just thinking that, if you weren’t such a dud, maybe you’d have more people around you, you know ? You’d have more friends. People you meet would stick around. You’d have a boyfriend. Hell, maybe Simon wouldn’t have left you. 

You swallowed dryly and got up. You decided this was your cue to leave. 

I can’t take this anymore. Goodbye, Cassie, you said as you grabbed your things before exiting the room. 

Y/N, wait… 

Tears were streaming down your cheeks when you got to the parking lot. As he saw you come, Marshall immediately got out of the car and engulfed you in a hug. 

What’s wrong? He asked. 

I’m fine, you lied with a breaking voice. 

Bullshit, he sighed. You’re crying. What happened ?

You didn’t talk. Instead, you simply looked in his eyes. As you stared at him, you were reminded of Cassie’s words. “For how long ?”. Suddenly, something hit you and you felt scared. You realized that you were playing a dangerous game. In a matter of months, he had become a constant in your life. Most of the time, not a week went by without you seeing him at least twice. You texted all the time, whether it was to talk about your day or simply to exchange silly jokes. He was always there for you but, as thankful as you were, you were scared of the day he wouldn’t be around anymore. It would come eventually. Maybe Cassie was right. Maybe there was something about you that made people want to leave. And, let’s face it, she was definitely onto something when she said that girls like you usually aren’t interesting enough for people like him. He walked into your life unexpectedly, but you feared the moment he would walk out. He kept on gazing at you, waiting for you to talk, but you couldn’t. 

Talk to me, he said softly. 

I have to go, you whispered. 

Go where ? I don’t understand, Y/N. 

You took a step back and muttered an apology before starting to walk out of the parking lot. At that moment, nothing made sense anymore. You realized that maybe you had been wrong all along. Maybe you were in fact a 27 year-old failure. If so, why bother people ? They would be better off without you, right ? Hell, it wasn’t just about Marshall. It was about all your friends. Maybe you should do them a favor and leave them be. 

You were still wearing your heels from last night, as you obviously didn’t have any spare pair of shoes at Marshall’s place and had not taken the time to change since retrieving your stuff from the hotel room. Your feet hurt but you kept on walking.

Y/N, Marshall called as he followed you. 

Please leave me alone, you said. 

I’m not leaving you alone when you’re crying and just had a slipping episode, he said as he grabbed your arm. Just come with me, ok ? We’ll talk. 

Get away from me !!!! You yelled as you pushed him. 

He looked at you, taken aback. It was the first time you yelled at him and you could tell he was not expecting it. His eyes were full of questions. But what exactly could you say that would actually make sense ? 

I’m sorry, you whispered. I just… I have to… 

You were panting and slurring your words. It was all too much. The only thing you wanted was to get out of here, but as seconds went by, it was clear that your body would not cooperate. You felt a pain in your chest and your heart was pounding. Despite your attempt to move, you were unable to. To make things worse, your eyes were wide open but you couldn’t quite see. It was all a blur. You were feeling trapped. You were on the floor, your hand on your chest. 

Y/N, Marshall said in a soft yet alarmed voice. You need to breathe, ok ? 

I… C-can’t, you stuttered. 

Yes, you can, he reassured you. I’ll help you. I’m going to touch your hand. Is that alright ? 

You tried to nod, to the best of your ability, but your body felt so stiff that you weren’t sure if Marshall could see your reaction or not. Regardless, he got closer and gently took your hand in his before placing it on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat. 

Now, you’re going to try and inhale through your nose and take in as much air as you can, ok ? Can you do that for me ? 

I…

Don’t speak for now. Just inhale. As deep as you can, he directed. And then, exhale slowly. 

Your first tentative attempt to breathe deeply was a complete failure. You thought you were going to end up choking. Yet, after a while, you managed to breathe a bit more normally, slowly. Your hand was against Marshall’s chest, his own breath guiding yours. One of his hands was on your back, gently holding you. 

That’s it. You’re doing so good, Y/N, he encouraged you. 

Mar…, you began. 

Shhh. Just keep breathing for now, ok ? 

As minutes went by, you were shivering, but thankfully, you were breathing properly. 

You’re safe, he said gently. It may not feel like this right now, but I promise. I got you. 

You closed your eyes as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. You stayed like this for a while, unable to tell if it was seconds or hours. Eventually, you came back to your senses. 

Do you feel better ? He asked. 

Yes, you whispered. I’m so sorry. 

What the hell are you apologizing for ? He chuckled. Having a panic attack ? Yeah, you better apologize for things that are out of your control… 

You let out a small, exhausted laugh. He kissed the top of your head and you went back to the car. Your body was stiff and tense. 

Let’s get you home now, he said gently as he started driving. You need some rest. 

Can we… not ? You asked anxiously. 

What’s wrong, Y/N ? He asked. 

I don’t know, you replied. I just…

If you’d had any tears left, you would have cried. Instead, you just choked on your words. You took a breath and tried to speak more clearly. 

I don’t want to face them, you explained. Especially Talia. I can’t disappoint her like this, you know ? 

They’re your friends, he said. Sure, once you come clean about what happened and the fact that you used again, they won’t be too pleased. But you’ll be fine. Because they love you and they care about you. 

For how long, though ? You blurted out. 

What ? 

They would be better off without me. Everyone would be better off without me, you said. I’m a failure. I stall people. Who wants that ? 

You’re only saying that because you slipped and you’re tired, he replied as he shook his head. Is that what your friend told you ? Of all people, I don’t think she is the one you should listen to. 

No, I figured that myself, you said. But as much as I am mad at Cassie right now… She got a few things right. 

Oh yeah ? About what ? He scoffed. 

I’m a failure, you simply said. 

That’s not true.

No, Marshall, you don’t understand ! She said I'm a 27 year-old dork who is still in school, single, living with two roommates with a sad social life. That is absolutely true. She also said that… It doesn’t make sense why someone like you would hang out with… someone like me. She’s not wrong about that either. 

He shook his head and scoffed. 

I hang out with you because I like you, Y/N, he said. And because of everything else she said. 

What do you mean ? You asked with a confused look. 

Let’s dissect, ok ? You’re 27. That’s a fact. I don’t have to have an opinion about it. Same goes for the single thing. As for the rest… I think it’s great that you are still in school. It shows that you are driven and that you are full of ambition. You’re getting a fucking PhD, for God’s sake. Not a lot of people can do that, you know ? You’re the smartest person I know. Most of the time, when you talk about your work, I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying. But I see how passionate you are, and it’s fucking inspiring. And you are a dork. But  it’s fucking great. I love that about you. I think that’s the cutest and funniest thing ever. I’m a dork too. There’s nothing wrong with that. And you do have friends. You have us. You have me. You might not be the most sociable person I know. That’s true. But that’s fine. I like that you’re not the loud type anyway. And it’s cool that you live with Talia and Jamal. I’d even go so far as to say that I like it, because otherwise… I wouldn’t have met you, you know what I’m saying ? 

You stared at him and nodded. 

Don’t let her get into your head, he continued. You’re absolutely amazing. There isn’t a thing I would change about you. Meeting you is the greatest thing that’s happened to me in the past year. You’re a ray of sunshine. Every time you walk in the studio, you make everyone’s day better, just by being you. You make those silly jokes, you put up with us and, most importantly, you get us. You’re not one of those groupies who think of us as stereotypes. Especially me. You’re so genuine, it’s refreshing. So don’t let anyone change that. You are exceptional. You are brave, strong, and beautiful, inside and out. 

You couldn’t help but think it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever told you. Sure, you’d received compliments before, but never to this extent. Hell, none of the people you had dated had never made such a declaration. You could tell by the look on his face that he meant every word he had just said. 

I’m scared to lose my friends, you finally said in an emotional voice. Especially you. 

You’re not losing anyone, Y/N. Especially me, he chuckled as he brushed your face with his hand. Don’t you worry about that. You’re pretty much stuck with me. 

You giggled softly before curling on the car seat and watching him for the rest of the drive. You felt comforted, grounded by his presence. It was a good thing, too, because you weren’t too sure how the conversation with Talia and Jamal would turn out.

[justagalwhowrites]

HI BESTIE !!! 🫂

i was wondering how Joel would react to Doc spoiling him ROTTEN after she got that big girl money 🫦 (in the lavender au)

(because i know she will spoil him so much as a thank you for his unwavering support throughout her career 🥹)

OMG Hi Bestie!

I love this ask so so SO much. Joel is so soft with his girls and he deserves all the good things, including his wife treating him to all the best things once she's a big time surgeon.

This is just the perfect prompt for our favorite man's birthday, too! I hope this is just what you were hoping for. Love you!

Spoiled

After years of Joel taking care of you, you take care of Joel. A one shot set in the Lavender AU timeline.

Yes I know it's not a Joel gif but it fits the fic so well I had to.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (Joel and Doc from the Lavender AU)

Warnings: Fluff and smut, smut and fluff. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only.

Length: 4.4K

It started with a shopping trip in Houston for Sarah’s wedding. 

She needed a dress for the rehearsal and her bachelorette party and the malls in Austin just weren’t cutting it. 

“I’m telling you,” she said after coming up empty handed on another Saturday spent shopping as the two of you ate salads and drank sweet tea at a patio cafe. “We need to go to Houston. We haven’t found anything for you, either.”

“I can just…” you began, but Sarah cut you off. 

“Mom,” she raised her brows. “You do not get to say ‘just’ anything about my wedding, come on.” 

You rolled your eyes a little but smiled. 

“Alright,” you put your hands up in surrender. “I’ve got the weekend off again in two weeks, I’ll get us a hotel room in Houston and we can shop til we drop.” 

“I’m going to get you comfortable with spending some of those big surgeon bucks one of these days,” she said. “You need to treat yourself! Live a little!” 

“I live plenty, thank you,” you replied. “And I do it just fine in my Goodwill jeans.” 

“Whatever you say,” she smirked a little, flagging down the server and grabbing the bill before you had a chance to fight her on it. 

Sarah might have had a point. You’d been an attending for the better part of a year now and the jump in pay had been staggering. You were making more now in a year than you had your entire life - or it felt that way, anyway. You’d already made good progress paying off your student loans but you made quick work of the rest. Joel had asked if you wanted to move - something bigger or better somehow - now that you could easily afford it but you’d just frowned at him, almost hurt. 

“This is our home,” you said. “I fell in love with you here, Sarah grew up here, we made Evie here. This is the first place I ever really felt like I belonged, I don’t want to leave.” 

Joel just smiled and kissed your forehead. 

“Then we’ll stay,” he said. “Moving’s a fuckin’ hassle anyway.” 

You’d just been saving money, not really sure what to do with it. You donated some of it, stopped spending time clipping coupons, finally bought a car that was from this decade (but still used). But actually spending it made you anxious. You’d never had money before. You weren’t poor, exactly. You’d always had enough to eat and a roof over your head but you almost never bought new clothes, had never really traveled outside of places that you could easily get to by car. You were pretty sure you’d never even been in a car that wasn’t at least 10 years old before you came to college and your friend Cassie gave you a ride to the store in her new BMW. It was hard to get used to the idea that money could be spent at all, that it wasn’t already earmarked for some bill or, if there was any left, that it had to be saved for a rainy day. 

“You gotta actually spend some of that hard earned money on yourself, Baby,” Joel said as you headed outside to meet Sarah for your weekend in Houston. “Buy some ridiculously expensive dress that I’m gonna want to rip off you in seconds or some purse that’s $1,000 for reasons I don’t understand.” 

“That’s two mortgage payments,” you said, eyes wide. 

“Baby.” 

“Right, right,” you nodded. “On a mission, spend money. Got it.” 

“On yourself,” he added. “Not Sarah. Or not just Sarah, anyway. You two have fun.” 

“You too,” you said, stretching up to kiss him goodbye. “Don’t let Evie con you into giving her candy when she gets home from school.” 

“What wild thing and I get up to when you’re not around is none of your business,” he gave you one last peck on the lips. “Now go, stop worryin’, live a little.” 

The mall in Houston was almost overwhelming. Not in the crowds way malls sometimes were for you, thank goodness, but with the kinds of stores. There were names you recognized from Cassie’s closet and from some of the trust fund girls in your med school program but you realized quickly you had no concept of what things like this actually cost. 

Sarah picked a dress for the rehearsal that was nearly $600 and you choked on the champagne the sales person had given you to sip while Sarah tried on options. 

“You really buy $600 dresses?” You gaped at her as you wandered back into the store from the dressing rooms. 

“Not all the time,” she shrugged. “But we make good money and sometimes it’s fun to buy something nice.” 

She held up a floor length gown to you, the bottom pooling on the ground. 

“That’s too long,” you said. 

“Well we’d get it tailored,” she laughed a little. “Come on, try it on.” 

Another sales person wandered over and offered to set up a fitting room and you snuck a peek at the price tag. Your eyes went wide. 

“That dress is $1200!” You whispered at Sarah as you trailed after the attendant. 

“And it’s for my wedding,” she replied. “And don’t you have that gala thing every spring for work? You can wear it for that, you need a new dress for that anyway. Plus I’m the bride and I say you have to try it on. You can’t disappoint the bride.” 

You sighed and went into the fitting room, feeling utterly out of place in your second hand Levis and vintage top you’d picked up on a shopping trip a few weeks back that felt much more your speed. 

But the dress - outside of the length - looked like it had been made for you. The silk hugged your every curve, the neckline dipping just low enough to display just enough cleavage to be sexy but not so much that it would be scandalous. It was simple, no embellishments beyond the structure of the dress and the deep emerald green of the fabric. Normally you’d have scoffed at something so basic fetching such a high price but, now that it was on your body, you understood it. It was like you’d put on a work of art and, in doing so, become art yourself. 

“OK you can’t laugh,” you said. “But I’m coming out.” 

Sarah was waiting patiently in the little show room attached to your fitting room and you had to hold up the hem of the dress to not trip but she gasped all the same. 

“Oh Mom,” her hand went to her mouth, her eyes wide. “You look incredible.” 

“Yeah?” You asked, turning in the mirrors to look at yourself from every angle. “I don’t look like I’m playing dress up?” 

“Not at all,” she spoke with almost a sense of reverence, looking you up and down. “You’re getting that dress. I’ll buy it for you if you won’t…” 

“No, Sarah,” you protested but she pulled out her phone and snapped a picture before you had a chance to really realize what she was doing. “What was that for?” 

“I’m sending this to Dad…” her voice trailed off and she took a sip of champagne just as her phone rang. She smirked and answered, putting it on speaker phone. “Speak of the devil. Hey old man, your wife is trying to tell me this dress costs too much.” 

“I don’t care if that dress costs $200,000 she’s bringing it home,” Joel said. “She hear me?” 

“Yes,” Sarah smiled, a shit eating grin if there ever was one. 

“Good,” he said. “Baby, you look so damn amazing I’m about to jump in the truck and drive over there just to see you in that thing in person sooner. Save me a trip, bring it home, alright?” 

“Alright,” you sighed. 

“Didn’t quite hear that,” Joel said. 

“I said alright you dork,” you said a little, grinning in spite of yourself. 

“That’s my girl.” 

You bought the dress. And a bag that Sarah insisted you needed for work because she was tired of seeing you haul around a canvas tote. And shoes for the dress. 

When you passed the jeweler window, you were on the way to the car after spending so much money you were surprised you hadn’t fainted. You stopped, the hanger with the garment bag for the dress hooked in your fingers over your shoulder, and looked at the watch sitting in the window. 

It was large and silver but not too ornate, no diamonds or anything like that. The face of the watch was black with elegant white roman numerals on the face. 

“What?” Sarah asked, stopping next to you. 

“Do you think your dad would like that?” You asked, head cocked a little, still looking at the timepiece through the glass. 

“Yeah,” Sarah said after a moment. “Seems like a him watch, if he were going to wear a nice watch, anyway.” 

Joel did already have a watch. A simple one with a green strap and silver colored case and a black face. You and Sarah had picked it out together for his birthday one year. She’d been giddy about it, you had to all but beg her to keep it a secret for a few days until it came time to give it to him. He loved the thing, wore it every day, even more than a decade later. 

But your career wasn’t the only one that had advanced. Joel was no longer doing the manual labor of a contractor every day. More often than not, he was going to meet with clients and arrange contracts and make plans. For a lot of those meetings, he wore a suit and, for a lot of those meetings, you saw him stick his watch in his pocket before leaving the house instead of putting it on. 

“Hard sometimes,” he said when you’d asked him about it. “Fittin’ in with these clients.” 

“Let me just…” you doubled back to the entrance to the store and went inside. 

The watch was more than you thought it would be. A lot more. So, so much more. You watched as the sale’s person’s eyes went from encouraging and hopeful to let down when you reacted to the price. 

“One second,” you smiled sheepishly and pulled out your phone, going into your banking app. Even after spending an arm and a leg on yourself that day, the number in your personal checking account seemed obscenely high. More money than you’d ever had at once until very, very recently. You could afford the watch. You looked at the sales person and smiled. 

“I’ll take it.” 

You had several very strong cocktails when out to dinner with Sarah that night to make yourself feel a little better about spending thousands of dollars on things like clothes and a watch and she just smiled. 

“See, Mom? You spent some money on yourself and the apocalypse did not happen, I think you can actually buy yourself things from time to time.” 

“And things for your dad,” you said. “Because he needs nice things, too.” 

When you got home, Joel insisted that you model the dress for him. 

“It needs to be tailored,” you tried to protest. 

“Not for me to take it off you it doesn’t,” he smiled from his spot on the couch, beer in hand. 

“Fine,” you said. “But only if you let me model everything I bought and you can’t return any of it.” 

“Deal.” 

You went to your bedroom and put on the dress and the shoes and took the watch out of the bag, the face almost comically large on your wrist, before going back to the living room, hem of the dress in hand. 

“Jesus Christ Baby,” he looked at you, his eyes wide. “You look… fuck me.” 

“That is the idea,” you winked. “You like it?” 

“Like is a fuckin’ understatement,” he said, getting up and walking around you slowly, his eyes going up and down your body. “You know, Evie’s at a friend’s for two more hours…” 

“So you’re not going to make me return anything I have on?” You asked. 

“Fuck no.” 

“Not this dress?” You started unzipping the side before sliding the straps down your arms. 

“Dress stays,” he said, gently tugging it down and exposing your chest, kissing the swell of your breasts. 

“What about the shoes?” You asked, putting a sandaled foot out from below the hem. He glanced down, eyes ranging over the straps. 

“Those stay, too,” he said, going back to kissing your chest. “Everything you’ve got on stays, already agreed to that.” 

“Good,” you said as he made it to your neck. “Even this?” 

You held up your wrist, the watch sliding down your arm. 

He frowned, looking at it. 

“Don’t look like you’re style,” he said. “But if it makes you happy, Baby, keep it.” 

“Never said it was for me, Joel,” you smiled a little. You watched him piece it together, taking a moment for him to dawn on him. 

“No,” he shook his head, looking from your arm to your face. “No, you were supposed to get stuff for yourself for a change not…” 

“I did get stuff for me,” you said. “And I got this for you. Because you’re wearing suits more now and I wanted you to have the watch for that. So really, it is for me.” 

He took your wrist gently in one hand, elbow in the other, tilting your arm this way and that to look at the watch in different lights. 

“Baby, this…” he shook his head again. “This is too much, this is…” 

“Not for you,” you cut him off. “Not after everything you’ve given me. This is not enough. But it’s a start. Besides, you said I got to keep everything I was wearing. You already agreed to it, Miller.” 

“Baby,” he sighed. 

“Joel,” you smiled a little. “You’re my husband. Let me give you something nice. Please.” 

He brought the inside of your wrist to his lips and kissed you there, making your pulse flutter against his mouth. 

“Already gave me the best thing there is,” he said. “Anything more feels like I’m stealin’ it.” 

“Steal whatever you want, Miller,” you teased. “But you’re keeping the watch.” 

Joel ended up wearing the watch often. Not as much as the Sarah watch - and he stuck with the Sarah watch for her wedding - but at least once a week for meetings where he needed to dress up for. Every time you gave him a little knowing smile and every time he rolled his eyes a little before kissing you goodbye. But you had yet to get him to accept anything like it in the years since, Joel trying to dodge everything every time you spent money on him. 

So when his birthday was around the corner, you were bound and determined to get him something good. 

“Anything you want for your birthday?” You asked as you, Joel and Ellie wandered around a street fair, meandering towards the car show. “Anything you want to do?” 

“S’not like it’s a big one,” he shrugged. “Just 56. Would love to see all my girls, of course. Could use some new tongs for the grill.” 

“Tongs?” Ellie said, brows raised. “Seriously? Old people are so WEIRD.” 

“You know what kiddo?” Joel smiled a little, faking exasperation. “We’ll see how you’re doin’ when you’re pushin’ 60.” 

“Ew,” she crinkled her nose and wandered to the first car in the row of vehicles on display. You laughed, strolling along with Joel until he stopped at a beautiful old convertible, giving a low whistle. 

“What?” You asked. 

“Just a pretty fuckin’ car,” he said, his hands in his pockets as he walked slowly around it. “Always wanted one of these when I was a kid.” 

“Yeah?” You asked, getting an idea. 

“Neighbor had one,” he nodded. “Let me ride in the back once. Coolest fuckin’ car.” 

He looked over every inch of the thing and Ellie caught up with you while he did, pouting a little as she leaned on the door of the car, her chin propped on her folded arms. 

“I’m starving,” she groaned. “Can I go get some fries at least?” 

“Sure,” you laughed a little, pulling some cash out of your pocket. “Grab me a lemonade, too?” 

You watched as she went to the food stands and you and Joel moved on, walking slowly down the row of cars when Ellie caught up with you again, passing you the lemonade. Joel stole a fry from her cup. 

“Hey!” She protested. “Go get your own!” 

“Might have to,” he said, giving her a wink. “Back in a sec.” 

You waited until he was out of earshot before you grabbed Ellie. 

“Do me a favor,” you said. “That car we were looking at? The blue one? Can you go talk to the owner and find out what make, model and year it is?” 

“I guess,” she frowned. “Why?” 

“Because,” you said. “I found something your dad wants besides tongs.” 

You went and stood in line with Joel, keeping him distracted while Ellie did recon. She took some pictures of the car and texted you all the information which you texted to Andrew as Joel drove home from the fair. 

“Can you help me find this car?” You asked him. “One that’s for sale?”

“Becoming a collector?” He texted back. 

“Joel’s birthday,” you added a smilie face emoji. 

“Excellent,” he replied. “I’ll find you something, don’t worry.” 

It took a few weeks but Andrew found the car. A blue 1967 Mustang Convertible that was being sold down in San Antonio. He went down with you to help you test drive it - you didn’t know a damn thing about cars - and you bought it on the spot. 

“He’s going to freak the fuck out,” Andrew said, driving it home since you couldn’t drive stick. “Seriously, you might give the man a heart attack…” 

You rolled your eyes but laughed all the same. 

“I really hope he loves it,” you said, running your fingers over the dash. 

“I’ll take it off your hands if he doesn’t,” Andrew smiled. “Just don’t tell Jess.” 

Tommy agreed to store the car in his garage until Joel’s party at his house in two weeks and you were giddy as you drove home, feeling like a kid at Christmas as you tried to keep the car a secret. 

By the time the party rolled around, even Ellie was excited and having a hard time holding it together. 

“It’s really just a cookout at Tommy’s,” Joel said as the three of you piled in the car to head over. “Not sure why you two are actin’ like we’re going to fuckin’ Six Flags…” 

“Tommy’s cooler than you,” Ellie said. “Nice to spend time with someone who isn’t a total dinosaur…” 

“Alright, in the car kiddo,” Joel smiled and shook his head a little. “Can’t take you anywhere ’til seatbelts are on, let’s go!” 

You texted Tommy that you were on the way and he responded with a picture of the car, shiny in his driveway with a big, red bow on the hood. 

“He’s going to lose his mind, Kid,” he texted back. “Please tell Maria I want this same treatment when I’m old.” 

“Better put in some work to deserve it, Miller,” you replied, smiling a little. 

Joel parked on the street, frowning at the car in Tommy’s driveway. 

“When the hell’d Tommy get a Mustang?” He got out, his frown deepening. You almost laughed. 

“He didn’t,” you smiled, so big it was like your face was going to crack. 

Joel looked confused for half a moment before his mouth dropped open in shock. 

“No,” he shook his head. Ellie leaned between the front seats, grinning hugely, “No, no that’s… Baby. No.” 

“Suck it up, old man,” Ellie smirked as Sarah and Brandon came out of the house, little Carson making a beeline for the car. Sarah and Brandon waved as Tommy and Maria joined them in the yard. Ellie pulled the keys out of her pocket and dangled them between you and Joel. He took them, staring at them in his hand for a second.

“Should take it before I do,” Tommy hollered and you laughed as you got out of the car and followed an almost dazed Joel toward the Mustang. 

He walked, in awe, around the car twice. 

“I…” he said but stopped, staring at the convertible for a moment. “I don’t….” 

“Do you like it?” You asked, coming up beside him and wrapping your arms around his waist. 

“Fuckin’ love it,” he said, immediately looking at you. “But Baby, this is too much, way too much, I can’t…” 

“Yes you can,” you smiled up at him. He looked down at you, the awed expression still on his face. “After everything you’ve done for me? For us? Everything you’ve sacrificed, all the ways you take care of me and our girls? The life you gave me? Still not enough, Joel. Not for you.” 

He pulled you tight to him and kissed the top of your head. 

“I love you,” he said, his voice wet. “So goddamn much, Baby.” 

Tommy set up chairs and a table in the front yard so everyone could sit near the car while celebrating Joel. He kept looking over at it in disbelief before looking at you with eyes filled with gratitude and wonder. You couldn’t remember the last time your heart felt quite so full. 

You drove Ellie home, following slowly behind Joel in the new convertible. 

“OK I know what this shit means,” Ellie said, gesturing between you and Joel after you got home, your husband clutching you to his side. “Try to keep it down and not be gross about it because ugh.” 

“Was actually going to see if you wanted to take the car for a spin,” you smiled up at Joel. “Just you and me. Assuming Ellie will behave herself and actually go to bed at a reasonable time.” 

“Anything to get away from whatever that is,” Ellie said, smiling a little as she went to her room. You laughed. 

“So,” you said, once she closed the door to her room. You looked up at Joel, smiling. “Care to take me for a ride, Mr. Miller?” 

He grinned.

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Miller.” 

He took you through town slowly, down quiet side streets filled with sleeping people and past businesses that had closed for the night, until the two of you ended up at a large park on the edge of town where things were a little darker and you could see some of the stars. 

“I can’t believe you got me a car, Baby,” he said, his hands running over the steering wheel. His smile was so big you could see it even in the dim light of the moon. “It’s really…” 

“If you say it’s too much again, Joel, I will go and buy you a second one on principle.” 

He laughed at that. 

“I was gonna say it was the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” he said, turning to look at you. “Besides you and the girls of course.” 

“Oh, of course,” you smiled. 

He leaned in and kissed you gently. 

“Not sure what I did to deserve you,” he said. “But I sure am grateful for it.” 

Your kiss shifted and you started climbing over the center console, Joel taking a second to move his seat all the way back. You bunched your skirt around your hips and settled over him, kissing him harder, more eager. 

“I’m pretty damn grateful for you,” you whispered against his mouth, his hands going to your hips. You ground down on him and he moaned, pressing his hard length up against you through his jeans. “And I think the birthday boy should get laid in his dream car.” 

“Dream car,” he said, kissing you. “Dream woman.” He kissed you again. “Perfect fuckin’ birthday.” 

You unzipped his fly as you kissed him and tucked your panties to the side, notching his cock against your entrance. He moaned as you sank slowly down onto him, taking all of him inside of you, savoring how he filled you. 

You started slowly, just grinding him deeper into you as you kissed him, his tongue licking into your mouth. 

“You feel fuckin’ amazing Baby,” he moaned, kissing down your throat until he reached your breasts, cleavage bared in your v-neck top. “Always feel so damn good…” 

He was thrusting up into you, trying to set his own pace, and you decided to allow that, matching him stroke for stroke as he groaned below you. His hands ranged up your back, pawing at your shirt until be was able to raise it enough to slide below it and get at your skin with a satisfied moan. He clutched you close, so close that you could hardly move over him anymore. Instead, he fucked up into you, making you whimper and your channel tighten around him. 

“C’mon Baby,” he grunted, voice strained. “Want you to come for me. All I want now is you to come for me, come all over me, fuck Baby…” 

You bit down on his shoulder to keep quiet, the sounds of crickets and cicadas on the air as you came, your sex throbbed around him. You whimpered against him as you came down from your high and he kept working you, his grip on you tightening. 

“Fuck Baby,” he gasped. “Feel too good, I’m gonna… fuck… I’m…” 

He cut himself off with a groan, thrusting deep and filling you, his grip on you relaxing enough that you could sit up a little. You looked at him in the moonlight his eyes closed, a blissed out look on his face. You smiled a little, brushing his more unruly curls back from his forehead. 

“I love you so much, Baby,” he smiled a little, eyes still closed. 

“So I did alright for your birthday?” You teased lightly, his softening cock still buried inside you. 

He laughed. 

“Did perfect,” he tugged you close enough that he could kiss you again, careful to not push you back against the horn. “Perfect fuckin’ birthday, perfect fuckin’ woman, perfect fuckin’ wife.” 

“Good,” you smiled, kissing him. “You deserve it, Joel. You deserve the world.” 

[shiningstarr15]

🚨RANT POST 🚨

You know what I’m just come right out and say it.

This community as a whole doesn’t fucking deserve Vanessa or Gregory.

Here you have two characters, VITAL to the plots of pretty much the entirety of SW era, obvious connections to what is happening and parallels to each other, and yet they are treated like LITERAL SHIT.

The Gregory hate is soo forced at this point. Like how hard is it to comprehend the fact that this CHILD was thrown into a horrific LIFE OR DEATH situation? I’m sorry what tf would you have done if you had 400 lb animatronics trying to rip you apart? And as far as this ‘lack of empathy’ bc he ‘didn’t care about Freddy’s feelings and therefore doesn’t care about Freddy..’ SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. He literally risked his fucking life to save him getting all those parts, just bc he doesn’t show emotions the way you THINK he should doesn’t make him a fucking psychopath! He’s a CHILD!!! And if I may be so bold, saying a character is inherently bad bc of the way they behave reeks of ableism (yes I am an autistic Gregory truther but that’s besides the point). He had EVERY RIGHT to defend himself and guess what? He wouldn’t have rescued a mind controlled woman he barely knew and was honestly quite fucking rude to him if he LACKED EMPATHY. FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT.

And as for Vanessa, what do you even want me to say? She’s one of if not THE most underutilized character in the fucking franchise. And yet she’s treated so terribly. The misogyny is literally DRIPPING from so many people that only see her as the ‘sexy security guard’ UGHH YES she is attractive I will give her that, but she is SO MUCH MORE than that. I’m almost confident that the people that wanna write her off don’t know her story. Did you pay attention to help wanted? Did you read the AR emails? Did you even play the therapy tapes?? HER STORY IS THERE. Yes it’s butchered to shit but it’s still enough that you can draw conclusions and not write her off as a one off one dimensional angry bitch.

I understand that people have different tastes, and you are absolutely allowed to like and dislike what you want. But my god, the complete disrespect for these two it just.. it BOTHERS ME.

These two deserve so much more than what they’re given. Even the franchise itself I don’t think is giving them the respect they deserve. Making Gregory look like an antagonist as ‘good vs bad’ between him and Cassie, and then just blatantly ignoring Vanessa into obscurity even though it’s clear Scott wants to do more with the character. For crying out loud, SHES IN THE MOVIE! And yes it did help to put her on the map to some degree but she’s still not getting the right respect.

I don’t mean to be negative, I’m not a negative person, I just.. needed to get these thoughts about bc they’ve been bubbling for so long.

Also please note I am NOT talking about the 3 star fam fandom in this post, you guys are MORE than respectful to these characters. I may not fully agree with every interpretation but I can appreciate the love that’s still being poured out to them. So you guys more than do deserve them :3

Ok rant over, back to working on my WIPs ✌️

[cassandraclare]

hiii cassie 💛 i hope you’ve been enjoying your time away writing, your locations are always beautiful per usual and you deserve it so much, question regarding a certain tween blondie that loves potato chips (yes, tis’ kit)

i’ve found myself struggling resonate fully with kits character due to the fact that in tda it seemed he was set up as “the new jace” yet..during my current tmi re read, i’m just NOW realizing how completely (emphasis on completely) different they are from eachother. and i also find myself struggling because he’s made to seem like he has an “uncanny resemblance” to jace yet so many of us readers know they aren’t from the same line of herondales at all. i’d figure jace gets his incredibly good looks from stephen, james, cordelia, will etc. HIS ancestors. while kit has completely different ancestors, along with johnny rooks genes.

i fear that if he’s referred to anymore as a “mini jace” that i won’t ever be able to fully resonate w him due to that lack of logic taking me out of the book 🥹 sorry to point this all out i tried to ignore it but im just like “will i have to read about him being jaces twin despite the lack of genetic sense it makes all of..twp?”

Hmm. I mean, I don't think there's anything indicating he's Jace's twin — otherwise people would be constantly mixing them up and Clary, upon seeing him, would be staggered rather than curious. :)

I think you have to decide, a bit, what really bothers you re: longstanding tropes and science in fantasy — after all, the way the Herondale mark is passed down makes no sense genetically. Neither does their ability to see ghosts. None of it has anything to do with genetics, because it is about magic, and so is Jace and Kit's resemblance. The idea that people who have ancestors in common long ago have a sort of ineffable resemblance goes way back to the origins of fantasy. It's about pointing out a preternatural connection, not about common genes. It exists as a mythic trope that isn't connected to science in the same way the mythic trope exists that you can inherit not just, say, eye color, but also personality quirks like loyalty or evilness. (See: TV Tropes page "In the Blood.")

For what it's worth, I don't think of Jace and Kit as characters who are particularly similar, personality-wise or in any other way, really. They both had traumatic childhoods, and were later adopted into new families, and that makes for some points in common, but I have never thought of Kit as a new Jace (we still have the OG Jace, so he doesn't need replacing!) or a mini Jace or anything like that, so anything that seems otherwise is unintentional or open to interpretation.