#caregiving burnout

[thepanvelite]

Reverse Parenting: Embracing the Role of Caring for Aging Parents

Children become caregivers for aging parents in reverse parenting dynamics.

A mother has to break the umbilical cord twice: once at birth and once when the child becomes an adult. As we grow older, the dynamics between parents and children evolve. We often find ourselves taking on more responsibilities towards our parents. This shift, known as reverse parenting, is a natural progression where children become the caregivers for their aging parents. Understanding Reverse…

[family-trauma]

I can totally see this in my family members who say emotionally abusive things to others at home and dismiss that they are being toxic at all. I think emotional immaturity and lack of self awareness does tend to cause people to say very toxic things and not realize or accept that what they are doing is wrong.

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The past few days have been very difficult for me. My mental health has been at an all time low leading me to stay in bed even during work hours. I realize how depressed or burnt out I have been but I also feel like I have 0 energy to get up and do anything I need to. Living in a negative and toxic environment really does bring down one's soul and energy down, to even try doing basic things to stay afloat.

Taking it 1 day at a time this week....

[bitchesgetriches]

Learn more through our Burnout Workshop.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[cjbolan]

As I just today became an aunt, I can't comprehend how JD Vance call himself "pro-family" yet thinks women shouldn't help children who aren't theirs. Unless it's in a way that supports his extreme ideologies.

How does JD Vance think we survived so long as a human species?!!! We survived thanks to women helping children who aren't theirs!!!!!!

[inniave]

i feel like all i do all day every day is try to keep myself alive & somewhat stable. like every day my to do list is just like. brush teeth, emotional stability exercise, change infusion set, take meds, eat, somatic trauma processing, rest (yes i have to put rest on my to do list otherwise it won't happen), etc. and every day these things feel like such huge tasks to get done. and then i have to do them the next day and the next and the next. i cant go to school. i cant work. i cant live on my own. i can barely leave the house. all these things that other people just, do without thinking. or don't have to do cause they're not disabled or mentally ill or whatever. idk it's just extra heavy today. but i will go and work through my list and take care of myself. i do find moments of peace & joy in this life i live. and i am thankful to be at this point, where i am taking care of myself more than i ever could before. it just sometimes the grief hits. and those days are hard.

[stacys-mom-has-got-it-goin-on]

"It's hard to fix in someone else what's wrong with you."

[lost-onpurpose]

I am exhausted.

I showered last night for the first time in two weeks. I got almost zero sleep last night because night is the only time I ever have quiet to myself. And it's still very unstable quiet because I could get called at any time to run back to mom's because mammaw needs something or gets hurt or needs medical attention.

My entire life is on hold because I can't go more than an hour away from home in case something happens. I feel guilty doing anything for myself because it takes away from the care of my great grandma.

I just can't keep doing it. It's taking a toll on my mental and physical health at this point.

I'm so tired of taking care of everyone else.

When is it my turn to be taken care of? Even just for a little while.

[magicalblerdpenn]

It has been incredibly painful to have been a parent caregiver for a whole decade, from ages 22-32, and have absolutely no support with the exception of certain family members. It's especially painful because my Vietnamese mom cannot understand my emotional needs and often exacerbates my mental health issues, but cannot live by herself because of her health problems.

From ages 22-24, I was navigating college, grief (lost my dad unexpectedly before my 3rd year of college), my repressed orientation, and being a caregiver before I even knew what being a caregiver was.

From age 25 until now, I have been dealing with freelancing, trying to live my dream as a poet and author, mental health issues, navigating my different aspects of my identity (race, orientation, gender identity), and being a caregiver.

The last three years have been even more difficult due to the ongoing pandemic & other world on fire stuff, especially since I live in the United States.

The United States has such a backwards view of what adulthood should be like that they can't provide adequate support for young caregivers like myself, especially caregivers of color (I'm Black-Asian). I've been put down for living with my parent past my early twenties in an online caregiver support group, despite the fact that I need to do so to take care of my mom. I've been told that by my state that I would have to give up my freelance writing career to receive any financial support, because people think you can't freelance and be a caregiver at the same time. My freelance career has been integral to my writing dream and I've managed it for 8 years.

I'm a young caregiver of color, I'm very tired, and desperately need something to change ASAP.

[peapodsplace]

Seriously debating if I have the emotional and mental bandwidth to take on a kiddo right now... It'd be really exciting but it's hard to find someone you can click with, plus different people want different things from a cg. Hmm...

[vendettavalor]

// Angel Hare’s last episode and overall portrayal of Angel Gabby is proof that the real horror is compassion fatigue and taking on more than you can handle trying to help others to the degree that you become paralyzed due to the crushing weight of perceived responsibility and constant guilt caused by worrying that you are never doing enough, and that often times caregivers lack a stable support system of their own leading to burnout. In this essay I will-

[thiccherry]

being a caregiver is not easy wallahi I’ve never felt so hopeless

[doloresrojo]

Lady Chatterleys lover is trully a wonderful movie, but one of the things that stood out for me, aside from the lovely sex scenes and the romance, was how they portrayed caregiver burnout. Maybe it's because I'm living it.

Clifford is not a very easy patient, and I mean it in a way that at least at first, he has a very narrow minded way of seeing things; by wanting Connie to be his only caregiver. It's never fully explained why was that. Maybe he thought it was her duty as his wife, or maybe he didn't want anyone else to see him at his most vulnerable state. Either way, he failed to realize how hard and crushing it was for Connie. Yes, she was his wife, and there's the in sickness and in health part of the vows. But she wasn't a nurse, doctor, etc., someone who's mentally and physically trained for this kind of job. It took Connie to collapse and her sister, Hilda, who was not shy about it, for him to realize that she was trully strugling... and although my Journey has not been the same, I can relate because it's such a quiet strugle until you cannot take it anymore. Love is powerful, but in cases like this... it isn't always enough to keep you going. Because it's a long journey and the person that your taking care of and yourself have to understand that you need to take care of yourself as well.

[mcfiddlestan]

Y’all can ignore this post. I’m kind of just purging thoughts.

So I finally got my insurance/doctor situation managed. I saw a doctor in late February and, ofc, they ordered a bunch of other appts for me bc I haven’t been checked out by a doctor — aside from injuries — for more than a decade. So I have/had appts scheduled for a Pap smear (my first, so that was a yikes day), mammogram (not looking forward to this), an EKG to check where my heart murmur is at and if I still need to medicate before seeing the dentist. I had to do this when I was a kid. Six pills of whatever meds before and four more after. Bc apparently whatever they use at the dentist, even for a regular cleaning, can kill me bc of my heart murmur (I was born with a small hole in my heart.) And after the Pap smear, I now have a pelvic ultrasound scheduled bc I have super painful cramps on one side that the NP wants to check out.

Anyway, part of the first exam was a mental health check, and I guess some of my answers sent up a red flag. Right away that day, the doc prescribed me anxiety meds. A month’s worth. When I had a week’s amount left, I called for a refill but I have to have a follow up before I can get it. (After this I can get refills with no issues.) I also started weekly sessions with a therapist which have been AMAZING. Just getting out of the house for a couple hours (I’m a stay at home caregiver for my dad — and my mom before she passed) and talking to someone who’s putting my needs and mental health first is kind of awesome. Anyway, I ran out of my meds a week and a half ago and don’t have the follow up until the 19th. Last week I was fine. Didn’t feel any different. This week tho… hoo boy. 😮‍💨

On Monday my sister gifted me and my brother a gorgeous 5x7 frame of a collage of family pix. So I look at that whenever I miss my Mom. But it seemed to trigger something in me. Stressed and on edge the next couple days it hit me bad on Thursday. Tv shows with storylines featuring a lost parent kept setting me off. I sobbed like four times off and on all day. When I recalled my day to my sister that night, my dad was just sitting there and snickering here and there. I ignored him bc it’s something he’s done a lot. Today, he and I didn’t interact all day, until dinner time. And he copped an attitude right away — he did it again like ten minutes later with my brother and a yelling match ensued. Immediately I was on edge. Then a stupid thing set me off and I had to leave the dinner table. I’ve been in my bedroom for almost an hour sobbing.

All this word vomit to say, my anxiety meds have worked wonders and I need the 19th to hurry up and come.

[basilandthymegarden]

Me, myself, and I feel like I'm understaffed. Like, Haru from 50% Off. Someone shot the little Nova that regulates the staffing schedule.

[thelyd]

Not fishing for pity and not sounding the “I’m gonna ‘clock out early’” alarm. But I’m definitely fucking depressed. I’m tired of lying to myself about it saying that’s just how things are. I’ll be okay. I don’t know when. I feel like I have no say in my life. I live with and take care of someone who is kind and supportive one day and hateful and telling me why I shouldn’t do various things the next. I don’t know when he will pass. I don’t know how much longer it will be until I snap and have a panic attack at work again.

Fuck. I’m so tired.