#can't take his pride with him
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I'm the reticent vampire of the Ninth Arrondissement. I walk the night capturing disappointment and regret as only the reticent vampire can.
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022-)
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtvedit#iwtv amc#louis de pointe du lac#iwtv spoilers#perioddramaedit#tvedit#tvfilmgifs#cinematv#filmtvcentral#dailyflicks#mine#idk i can't stop thinking of the implications of the hobby of photography#maybe i'm just crazy but this recurring theme of identity and cameras being in the scene. also armand saying put your camera down etc as if#the lens of the camera put some separation between him and the ppl around. photography as an escapism method also#and i find interesting how he chooses to take photos of random slices of the lives of human life and gets critizied for it#as if louis tries to have one last tie with humanity through photography..'stealing' it through a photo in this whole bigger picture of#vampire pride vs his desire to distantiate himself from it.#i don't remember exactly what jacob himself said but smth smth louis PLAYING the part of the recitent vampire#anyways much to say..also i just find him very cute with this photography hobby thing fsdkjfsdkj
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Carmy's problem does boil down to pride I think
#he wants the bear to be better and he wants the people to be better but he can't trust them#or believe that they're taking initiative to be better#and so they're all growing and he just doesn't recognize he must and then he gets left behind#his intentions are good but the cooking is still about pride for him! fuck you I'll be the best if you never let me in your restaurant!#he wants to be recognized and praised by his abusive ex boss! he doesn't get yet that this is not the point of food!!!!!!
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Hubert is a huge fucking dork 💙💙💙
#tales of graces#hubert oswell#dolphin plays graces again#I know I talk about Asbel constantly but his brother is so adorable too 💙#a lieutenant in Strahta's military at age 16 and he acts like it he's SO prideful#but deep down he is the world's biggest dork and just as sappy as Asbel#I love his character arc going from lofty arrogance and mistrust to grounded humility and cooperation#without ever losing his prideful persona. He still can't be geniunely openhearted but his real feelings are always obvious anyway 💙#I love his competitiveness too how he fights w Asbel over who gets to be the Red Sunscreen Ranger 😂#Or insists he'll create a new puzzle to compete w Pascal once she's already mastered shotcube#I know his first mystic arte is memed on for sounding like 'Instant Balls!'#But his 3rd one Expiation cracks me up. 'Take summa THAT! And summa THESE!!' >:O#makes sense that his fighting style was canonically lifted from comic books if he talks like that 😂#Kudos to Steve Staley for having Hubert's voice crack constantly lest you forget he's barely out of puberty 👍#In conclusion Hubert is a huge dork and I love him 💙💙💙#also now I have a clip of him saying 'Based?'
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and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.
#do you see the vision here <- guy who has a watch rate of one episode per month#oh the implications of scorpus not being there for tenax in his time of need... the death of the child who is not but is symbolically their#is that a separate fic completely yes but it is ALSO in some ways a divorce fic. tenax like i needed you but scorpus also needing him#OH MY GOD THEY LITERALLY DO SAY FELIX WAS HIM and i can do SO much with the concept of a “stray”. oh please. please strays instead of rats#one knife to the ribs one fixed race one apartment board THAT'S A STORYLINE BABY RISE OR DIE THE ROMAN WAYYYYYY#i do see your calla/tenax storylines i do. i could be swayed but we are not here for that currently this is the same as the chariot racing#like i KNOW what i said about the gold faction representing everything that scares scorpus a dream he never thought they'd reach#and then to have it ripped away now he no longer even has the dream untarnished i do understand. which is why the “i'm disappointed”#kills me even MORE because it shows he gets it. like on some level he does understand why scorpus had to but it's his pride that's wounde#so to continue from what i WAS saying with:#sets the bar so low because how else would tenax love him (as if tenax would not do the same thing if he lost) and they have even MORE#questionable celebratory reward sex. yes i assigned scorpus a degradation/praise kink the world works in wondrous ways don't question it#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#tenax making sure to care for the kids is what's killing me too because i REALLY want to draw a parallel with scorpus making sure he takes#care of the prostitutes. yes he's a notorious hedonist yes he has a lot of sex but he always pays well doesn't he. over-well. he pays too#much and ends up in debt he pays enough to buy girls freedom. so that they only have to if they want to. it gets him a reputation sure AND#it gets whole houses of girls under his (and therefore tenax's) protection. you can't bruise her up; that's scorpus' favorite girl.#she can charge more for being favored. he can pay for massive parties where no one else is invited and if he falls asleep midway drunk#off his ass after a race the girls would never say. they still get paid. if tenax comes to watch and give instructions they'd never say.#if tenax tells them all to leave and it's just him and scorpus in the golden room and all the girls see before they shut the door#and latch it behind them is scorpus on his knees in the soft plush cushions with tenax offering him grapes one by one from his fingertips#like a favored concubine instead of the champion whose laurels are tilted on his head they won't say a word. not even when the noise#inside the room continues for long after the hour runs out the girls still stand watch until it's quiet and then crawl back in around where#scorpus is alone in the big wrecked bed with a smear of blood or wine on his mouth who could say. certainly they wouldn't.#no matter what they still get paid. whether they did the work to wreck him or not.#ANYWAY#they take care of the selves they couldn't protect is what i'm trying to say. for tenax it's the child he was/scorpus it's the body he sold#only he hasn't stopped having to sell it. & i guess as we're learning with the extortion tenax is still a child running from a burning hous
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Hey does anyone still think about the thematic differences between Supernatural and the Wayward Sisters and how self-isolating male hunters are compared to community-building female hunters and how this was shown from the Harvelles to even arguably Missouri Mosely and even Samuel Campbell who is his daughter's father almost more than a man himself (especially in Season 6) is not immune to this?
And how the Wayward Sisters could have been built not on sacrificing yourself to this singular all-consuming relationship with your brother and sacrificing yourself for the world second or in name only, but instead on what it takes to cut yourself into useful and digestible pieces for the sake of keeping your place in that community because you're almost certain that it's This Community or Solitude Forever (Alex you can never escape the life no matter how much you don't want it you've gotta pitch in do you want your family to die on this hunt Claire you know you'll never find anyone to love you unless you make yourself softer and then are they really loving you are you even worthy of love anymore Jody your husband and son would still be alive if you listened and learned you can't lose another child in every sense you can't quite let your children be defenseless children either and you know so well how sick this fear makes you and how you're dealing with it the wrong way your son got to be a child but your daughters can't be that vulnerable Even Donna you have Your Role to play here you're not good enough as a hunter but you're funny and happy and you don't take up that much space so that's exactly how much space you're given to exist in).
And yes, a lot of these things are echoes of Kripke Supernatural but instead of too-intimate and dark and quiet confessions that the Winchesters share and know that no one else could ever have the context to fully understand it's Community it's All Our Problems the humiliation and shame is all-encompassing because there is no privacy Everyone Sees You Everyone Knows You Everyone Wants To Fix Help You.
#Not to disappoint anyone but This Is Still About Lucifer#QuietWings' Amnesiac!Lucifer turning up at the Wayward Sisters' house has been growing like mold inside my skull#I could rewrite several episodes and two full seasons at this point#But apart from how Gender Lucifer is and how there is a lot of female-coding in S5 the Community is a little more apt than Brother focus#Because yes Lucifer losing Michael and Gabriel and Raphael and God is tragic but Lucifer Went To Prison and lost Community and the World.#Lucifer has no place that wants him aside from Hell and the demons are a constant reminder of his fall they were the sin that triggered it#(There's no depth to his relationship to the demons - Lilith could've been different - but Lucifer asks for worship and wants Love)#But Lucifer would not be immune to the Community Needs. It only works because they think he's just a moody angel with the amnesia at first#But after the revelation he has to atone for his sins by Community Work it's only if he tries real hard that they can Forgive a little#But never Forget. (They've come to rely on an archangel and they've pissed off archangel-sized monsters. They're fucked if he's free)#But Where Else Would You Go Lucifer? You want to make this work because this is your spider's thread your Only Chance#Sam Winchester is the boy you waited for millions of years to be understood by and he can't look at you without wanting to throw up#Sam saw the ugliest parts of you and that's all he understands but fate tricked three unremarkable humans into seeing you as an angel#As a devoted servant as a guardian as a cherub ruled by love singing to yourself in the morning as you take care of your humans#They saw some ugliness of course you are prideful and you are Too Much your anger turns to hail when it's supposed to be silent or words#But you have a place. It's washing the dishes. It's braiding Claire's hair. It's peeling your vessel's skin off to show Alex the veins.#You're happy you're so happy it betrays a little bit of righteous rage bc you have a place and it's Good and you just have to be careful#(Why haven't you learned to shut up after Everything it cost you the first time? Why can't you understand love means bending a bit?)#You're happy but living in a vessel means folding yourself small and you can Never be comfortable. But where else can you go?
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Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#The Captain#Hhhhhh <3#I am once again ''Who am I without you'' - ZEX relies on Zelnick to affirm who he himself is! His Captain is a huge comfort!#It's the codependency for me <3#The way Zelnick comforts him is so sweet ;; He can be quite attentive! When he chooses to be hehe#He's hesitant and concerned but overcomes it to give ZEX what he needs in the moment ahh he's deserving of being a leader ♥#Like covering his eye for him - and repeating back his greeting! ;;;; How many times has ZEX introduced himself that now it's repeated back#How many times has he said those exact words so confidently that Zelnick can repeat it back to him#So confident in his identity until it's all brought into question - too many pieces that align Just So to know one way or anything!#How would his human love know so many details - but such specific details are concerning as well! What's real and what's not!#What's experienced and what's mentally real - or false! There's so many tricky mental traps set agh it's so good <3#It's so interesting how their character flaws interact with their self-assuredness hehe <3 Zelnick is brash and bold!#ZEX is careful and prideful - so which takes a harder hit in matters of the mind? ZEX is at a disadvantage in Max's body of course#Hghh there's so much about this scene that's so good tho ah#ZEX's worries of his own level of self-delusion bleeding out into accidentally telling lies - he's quite honest! Mostly ♪#But here it's all just deep concern - not of Trying to manipulate but being so far gone that he can't Help but do so! Being out of control!#Of course that would be very scary for him :( And of lying to himself? The kind of thing that's wholly repulsive to him </3#Ughhh this scene breaks my heart because they really love each other and ZEX wants him and needs him but I know what will happen ;;#At least they're able to give each other a bit of comfort in the moment - whether it's true or not (it is true haha) the contrast helps#Even in Max's body and even unsure of himself getting to hold his human - this human - feels real and right <3#He's still worried afterwards of course - takes something convincing to pull him out of it! - and Zelnick continues to comfort him <3#I love palm kisses as well ugh they're so sweet ;; <3 What a lovely way to show his solidarity! Hehe ♥
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I hate living in this world.
#misc#negativity tw#first off i had an argument with a colleague at work#we had to move places for the millionth time in this stupid open space#which already annoyed me#but this guy came at bargained like he always do while i said nothing because it's not like we chooae#and he always does that for actual work because and idk at first i made a snarky comment about now that he got what he wanted he better be#ready to work instead of hiding when somebody ask him to do his job#and he told me he didn't understand the remark#and my hot temper that makes me snap every five years took over#i bet he has by now complaining aboutme like he does about everything#anyway i take hours to calm down (not calm after 4 hours)#I'm also pissed at me cause i can't get emotional without shaking stupidly which makes me look like an hysterical person (i mean sadly i am)#also if there has to have an explanation once my anger is gone tomorrow i will be back on social anxiety mode which is gonna make it worse#all of this reminded me that i need to find a new job for ten thousand reasons#but unfortunately all employers are shit and actually i don't even know what i want to do#and as usual i have no energy for anything because i am still a major piece of shit#then i wanted to relax#made the mistake to open Instagram because I'm also stupid#and i know i don't often talk about politics and stuff#but it's really draining me#i barely or read news just enough to be aware#and honestly its exhausting but I dont want to complain cause Im in a privileged position where i have the chance to be able to 'shut off'#and yes my country and especially this government is sickening me#and like its people too#and also insta is full of pride posts#and i am stupid to read the homophobic and transphobic comments#and genuinely these people alongside racist and islamophobic people really scare the hell out of me#hopefully i don't engage but i shouldn't read anything at all tbh#speaking of pride im spiralling because even tho i kinda identify as aro i feel like a freak and i have nobody to tell me im not
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2.02 (26) / 2.16 (40)
#both monologues are harrowing pieces of SS trying to overcome his pride after a battle#but while the E26 monologue is about a won battle with a great cost attached to that victory#with that victory not being entirely felt precisely because of the cost but SS *wants* to feel it regardless#the dead people stand in front of him he sees them he senses them he acknowledges them but then he moves forward anyway#fixating on the pride of the victory he also senses but wants to beat to the ground and *quickly* before it fully consumes him#so he buries himself to get that touch with his own humanity and his own mortality back#(and he does get it back as much as he'll distance from it doubling down on his role as a padişah until it's too late)#(it's no wonder his final E139 monologue bears some resemblance to his E26 ones from the helmet he wears to the color filter of the scenes#and him acknowledging his mortality again but sitting on the throne anyway)#the E40 monologue is about a lost battle that will bring a great cost with itself if they keep fighting#and on one head yeah SS now fully recognizes that cost and this is why he stops he *retreats* taking care of his people#seemingly having quenched his ego and pride#but on the other hand it took him the defeat to realize all that with him pushing further and further before#in spite of the risky conditions and notice how he wants to stay alive to evade death this time#with that rather pointing to his ego and pride having risen *more* than last time (he even proclaims the expedition a victory in the end)#all the while there's still enough (or rather more) awareness to hold himself back#also something about death vs. love (both quenching pride) in the monologues#of course tying to their respective batches of episodes that focus on either death or love in some way (Leo and Sadika's deaths;#(Hürrem's absense and horse and its death) linked together but what dominates in the respective monologues depends on what SS sees as#mattering in the moment; until love and death and companionship finally come together in the E139 monologue but SS embraces power anyway#also something about the returning motive in that context: SS's “returning is not weakness but maturity Süleiman”#vs. Ibrahim's earlier “returning is not an ability but necessity Ibrahim” (about his past and Parga in particular)#one can return anytime he wants to but refrains to and has to deal with having to return on a bigger level#the other wants to return but can't unless a reason emerges and permission is given and he completely takes in the return#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#sultan suleiman#sultan suleyman
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Chakotay leaning on the fact that he was Maquis to play-flirt with Janeway as they work on reports after hours and Janeway laughs, waving him off with a smirk and at the moment she says something like “I haven’t been charmed by the bad boy routine since I was in 8th grade” she turns to see Tuvok (also with them, has been there the whole time) looking very much charmed by the bad boy routine. (Only she can tell this.)
#Tuvok: -looking at Chakotay with a neutral expression- / Janeway: -bisexual pride flag in the background- ~!?????#play-flirt means he means it but also he's joking#anyway...Chakotay & Neelix could have had Janeway & Tuvok if they respectively let their hair gray and played up their criminal past#Tuvok: I don't want to get involved with people#Hot morally dubious guy who struggles with himself: Hi can you- / Tuvok: Yes.#Teen Tuvok wrote sooo many self insert fanfics where a hot rebel came to take him away from the temple to kiss and say 'society sucks!!'#and after he left the temple and achieved inner peace he rewrote them so that he eventually got the hot rebel to see the light and renounce#his rebel ways bc Tuvok is sooo smart and wise and handsome and correct#He wouldn't feel this way about Chakotay (Tuvok has grown and Chakotay is too stable and kind)#but that doesn't mean there isn't a little twinge of that badboy allure every now and then (Tuvok /hates/ this...Chakotay must NEVER know)#Tuvok: We should technobabble technobabble. / Chakotay: How long will that take? / Tuvok: Approximately one hour.#Chakotay: We can't wait that long. -does some on the fly big brain bullshit- There. -grins- That's how we did it in the Maquis.#Tuvok: -pupils fully dilated- .......Need I remind you that I was /in/ the Maquis Commander? -walks past him-#Chakotay: -calling after him- Then you do it next time~!!!#this post can be about chakotay/tuvok or the whole polycule <3#Janeway#Chakotay#Tuvok#Janeway & Tuvok constantly question each others taste in men but they sync up to say 'Commander Chakotay' before losing it again
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GOD!!! I love Iroh
#honestly they could have made his character darker in canon#let him have killed dragons#let people ask why he only stopped the siege after HIS son died#let Zuko in S1 get tired of Iroh's dicking around and scream at him that he's not taking capturing the Avatar seriously so Zuko can go home#and Iroh can't tell him that yeah he doesn't want to go home because he's depressed af#but also acting silly is an easier way to keep Zuko away from Ozai#AND it keeps Iroh away from the Fire Nation#so yeah he's being selfish but it's keeping Zuko safe#I wish Iroh and Azula could have had more one on one moments#I wish he could lament that Azula is going down the same path as him but Azula is too proud to see#that she could lose everything and be as much of 'a loser' like him#Yes there will still be the tension#Iroh will still encourage Zuko with moves that Azula doesn't know if it motivates him#because if Zuko loses faith he WILL get his dumb ass captured and hauled home in chains#Iroh has lost one child he will not lose another#but then let him realize he could be damning Azula all the same#but the more he tries to talk to her the more he sees himself and his pride and ego and he cannot get to her in a way that won't jeopardize#his and Zuko's safety#so he must focus solely on himself and Zuko and getting to BSS#there's more I could say but I think I have enough here lmao
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No but I love him
#I can't even begin to make sense of how much I love him#I adore the constant idea of the importance of his craftmanship skills and how they're closely linked to his sense of self#How they make him overcome the prejudices and low expectations with which he was regarded as a short life species in the Xianzhou#and how he rightfully grows to take deep pride on them#The way his inability to keep on creating and the loss of his selfhood are bound to each other is hearbreaking#And so interesting conceptually in the context of Abudance and forging. Like the act of creation and destruction linked#I think it's a bit paradoxical and very ironic in a very poetic way#I have saved so many things around these topics. I think I may post them all together here for safekeeping#Goodness I love him so much#What a character#Yingxing#Blade#I talk too much#Mr. Xiao#Fragments and scraps
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I think the biggest difference between natehawk via death dependency goes something like
Nate: You're going to kill me? Do you promise?
Hawk: You're going to kill me? Whyyyyyyy? Why? ;w;
#I think they're both too respectful to retort that their assailant couldn't possibly match up with everything that has tried to come for#their lives before now. however i think they both entirely believe that they will be the ones to take their own lives#so to different degrees it doesn't really phase them. but of course they could also kill each other#and they don't out of something approaching mutual respect#nate has spent his whole life trying to take his own life and if he can't you're not going to be able to#and hawk has spent his early life thinking everyone would be better off without him. but he loves life and that is what i would refer to#as the categorical growth between them. and one of the main differences between the v1 and v2 timelines and the doppelganger arc#i hate this life so i'm going to take yours. vs#i don't deserve this life so you can take it#i know i said they're both too respectful to say it but it shows in their respective fighting styles#with nate being more confident to the point of being cocky and coming off as arrogant and even impatient with his enemies#while hawk tends to keep his confidence within his abilities... what i mean is that he's reserved and calculating and prideful to a fault-#he's not going to strike unless he knows he's going to be victorious (or he has to)#although he does mirror nate in times of extreme emotion. i think they make good foils for each other. because it's not a bad thing to-#mirror the other. but it's not THEM. it's not what makes them them. but in some ways they will always be each other#but neither of them believe that they will be taken out regardless of the extent of the respect they have for their opponent. it's-#it's simply not within their plans#which is what will be their downfall if - [the rest of this message is scrambled]#dominoz
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#i'm really hurt rn by my bestfriend's attitude#and i can't rant on twitter because we're following each other on twitter#but i need to get this off my chest or else he'll take the brunt of it#and he doesn't deserve to deal with my mood#but i'm super hurt rn#because last year i asked him what he was doing for pride#hoping we'd go together#and he told me he was just going with his boyfriends#so i didn't go#and then i found out he also went with one of his bf's sister#and ended up meeting up with a friend of ours there#and obviously i saw it all on instagram while i was sitting alone at home#and then this year i asked what he was doing for pride#and he told me he was going with his brother (who came out to him a couple of months ago)#so again i didn't push and told him to have a great time#and then two days ago i saw that he wen't with his bf's sister#and today i saw that he also went with our mutual friend and at least one of his bf#so you know a bunch of people who are also supposed to be my friends#and i'm so deeply hurt that it happened AGAIN especially after I told him that i was super hurt the first time and he apologized and stuff#also it was super difficult to admit it to him because i didn't want to sound petty and jealous#but my therapist told me it was healthy to talk about it instead of just keeping everything inseide#and i don't want to tell him because it's my shit to deal with and just because i'm fucking insecure doesn't mean he has to like#accomodate me or anything#but fuck it makes me so fucking sad#and it's really hard rn to not just see it as another example of “i don't matter to people” and “i'm not worthy of their time”#so yeah#it sucks rn#so i guess tumblr's gonna be my rant space for all things W
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i find it fascinating (/negative) how people think there's some clear and present divide between physical and mental disabilities, and treat it as if the only overlap is when you have both.
like... for one, can we acknowledge that there is not, in fact, a binary of types of disabilities? how do you describe cognitive disabilities that affect both physical and mental function? what of disorders that originate in exclusively physical ways (ie, post concusive syndrome) but present with strong mental symptoms (anger, change in personality?)
how can you claim to support neurological disabilities and claim that ADHD is not, in any way, a physical disability? why is it different only if the presentation of a disability is seen as mental?
like... genuinely speaking, when I see posts insisting that movements around disabilities are meant for only the physically disabled, all I can believe is that you too have fallen victim to ableism. You are using a baseless categorization to separate and divide when the border is always going to be fuzzy, and always going to be used to hurt rather than help on a systemic level.
#disability#disabled pride month#disability pride month#like maybe it's growing up with a strong connection to the cognitively disabled community in my area#but like. cool tell me more about how mentally ill folks are invading our spaces for physical disability#while i chat with an adult on my brother's disabled sports team who is relatively physically abled#but whose disabilities are cognitive and both impair his fine motor skills and give him a nasty temper#who i genuinely fear will one day have an unprepared person put in charge of his group home and will be hurt by the police#for having a disability that makes it hard for him to express his thoughts and quick to anger#tell me that you don't understand disabled pride to also be about the mentally disabled folks who were sterilized in eugenics movements -#because i've fucking met them!#tell me that autistic people killed by the police for meltdowns and shutdowns and 'acting weird' aren't allowed to be part of this movement#because you can't consider that you've been taught by an asshole society that there's always 'invaders' taking advantage of social movements#when often those are closely related groups with such significant overlap that it's so foolish to insist we are not one group in solidarity#one group in spirit!#just!!! ugh!!!#disabled pride is for all disabled folks#there is no one disability that can be separated from our activism without harming us all
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Pyro would be offended with the concept of chatgtp??
Oh, he would be SO, SO offended.
At least, the way I headcanon him, he would be. I headcanon Pyro as someone who takes pride in what he writes, and enjoys writing. Of course, he also writes to make money, but there's a reason why he keeps writing and publishing books instead of just living off of whatever the Brotherhood steals. He likes writing books, and I think that, like a lot of writers both professional and amateur, it fulfills a real need for him. Like he couldn't really stop even if he wanted to.
So, the idea that a computer program could just write a book for him? Offends him deeply. Even if it meant he could publish faster, they wouldn't be his books, they'd been some computer-generated bullshit with his name on it. And what's the point of that?
He won't judge kids in school that use it for term papers, or whatever, he doesn't care about that. But he has nothing but contempt for professional writers putting out articles or books (whether fiction or non-fiction) using ChatGPT, because they didn't really write it. In fact, no one really wrote it. If people are going to not write their own books, they could at least hire a ghost writer, then a real person would be getting paid.
#if Marvel ever has Pyro use ChatGPT to write a book I will bite someone#it can't just be about the money for him because writers don't actually make that much#unless they are big names who are wildly successful#he takes pride in his damn work!#Pyro would go back to life of crime before he would ever put out AI-written book with his name on it
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Important Clark laughing/smiling headcanon everyone needs to be aware of!!!!
#cw long post#ignore the varying quality lmAO i just went and grabbed every time he does this from memory jdhgbdfg#kINDA had this hc before his fc was gosling so thank goodness this man p much chronically does this its so cuTE jkfbgdfg#anyway clark ducks his head and covers his mouth/face when he can't help but smile or laugh so if he does this like#honestly 1.) call him out 2.) idk take pride in it because he usually is p good about not ykno. exhibiting emOTIONs lmao#(;fc)
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