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faithinlouisfuture · 2 years

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love letter to self (lucky again) 🤝 letter of intent (paradise)

we were lucky once, I could be lucky again → I was lucky once, I could be lucky again 🤝 I'm not gonna spend another night of dreaming of what could've been 'Cause I know I'm the only one in charge of when my ships come sailing in

All of Those Voices (just get there your own way)

#this focus shift will always be important to me #I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before but lucky again is like the biggest grower for me on fitf #can’t go a day without listening to it #lucky again #Louis’ love letter to himself #and Paradise being his following letter of intent #aotv gives me ‘just get there your own way’ vibes #all of those voices

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doghart · 5 months

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i’m catching up on tsv, i think something that eskew prod does extremely well is using horror absurdism to capture the absurd horror of capitalism. it’s clear in eskew too, but i think it’s especially fantastic in the silt verses. the casualness with which sacrifice is discussed. how red lobster has a god that has and continues to take human sacrifice, and so do cereal companies, cops, and the grueling start up that has a “fun room”. it captures EXTREMELY well how it feels to live under capitalism, that you’re constantly bombarded with horrible things, discussed cheerily in a nice tone. the way it’s simultaneously numbing, hysterical, and horrifying. i think i was especially fond of how in ep 39, protest against sacrifice was taken as radical, a propostorus, idealistic thing that’s just so SILLY it’s not even worth considering, something that feels very real to revolutionary organizing/protest irl. i also liked how despite the face, when everything gets down to it, when everything is about profit, all people come down to are bodies. all capitalism is a gaping maw, and it eats the poor and marginalized first, but doesn’t STOP eating just there. the very literalized version of this, where the profit wheel (and all that includes— war mongering, the prison industrial complex, wage labor, etc) is given a very real literal set of teeth, but the body count is the same. so the electric company has a god, and so it takes humans sacrifice. do real electric companies not have a very real human cost? overworked and underpaid labors looking to make rent, or well off comfortable employees no less likely to get the axe under profit margins, or the blood shed when colonizing in the first place, in clearing the space for the electric company to move in. is that not also a very real human sacrifice? the commercial aimed at elderly people talking about “back in my day, we would just talk about all this human sacrifice and find a compromise :)” is so bleakly hysterical, but is that not very accurate? that you can put a good face on it, but in the end what it comes down to is that you’re being sold the chance to be human fodder? that there is no glory or honor on a battlefield or in working yourself to death, just mud and shit and bodies to throw at problems. idk! i’m rambling but it’s a deeply engaging podcast.

#idk if any of this makes sense it’s just like.#all capitalism requires imperialism because constant growth is impossible to sustain and to pretend to sustain it you need to expand #and expansion and colonization necessitates war and war and imperialism and the capitalist system requires HUMANS as a resource #capitalism can’t survive without labor and that labor most heavily exploits marganalized people but also it exploits EVERYONE who isn’t #alreadt exploiting others #and so tsv literalizes the human resource that capitalism sustains itself on. it takes the cost we sacrifice day to day ALWAYS and turns it #into a big show gives it gratuetous fake blood and monster teeth and lots of screaming. and so you can listen to it and go ‘look how absurd #it is that they do human sacrifice at the construction company!’ but under capitalism this is EXACTLY the case except the fake blood is #real and there’s no monster teeth. it’s fucking fantastically done truely audio drama of all time #the silt verses #tsv

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sunmoontruth-stiles · 6 months

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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

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cosmictap · 4 months

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Save me Joker out save me

#save me joker out #todays tumblr post was brought to you by:#1) getting to yap about joker out to my friends sister #2) going to sleep at 2 am (i was at my friends and she kept me away by playing eurovision songs)#it started with cha cha cha #and then i got them to play carpe diem #so no sleep ofc #and finally #3) having spent far too much time talking to people over the past two days #rambles #joker out #i lied #4) everybody’s waiting #that song never fucking fails to make me cry #which sucks #because i really like it #but i can’t listen to it without feeling distraught #when i get you bojan #when i get you

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tvrningout · 4 months

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will y’all still love me if i’m not active tonight 🥺

#ASDFGH #i’m kidding but i’m just straight up about to lose it #i don’t mean to vent #i’m just so very tired and agitated bc i can’t go one car ride much less one day without listening to this person in my life complain #i’m all for sharing your feelings and struggles!! i really encourage it bc it isn’t good to bottle all of that up #but it’s every day and all she talks about #it’s exhausting and on a day like today it makes me wanna just become a rock and do filler activities like playing a game vs productive #activities like writing and chores #i dunno if that makes sense and maybe if i just push myself i’ll make it on #but i apologize if i’m not around like i meant to be #get ready to ramble | ooc #tw vent

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silentgrim · 7 months

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the fact that you have to thank someone for being nice these days because post pandemic aggression is overtaking

#corona knocked human decency out of people #no bcs we weren’t like this before quarantine #even the kids got it too!#naw listen #when you work with the public #u start to get scared leaving ur house man #it’s not funny #can’t even have a decent conversation without someone getting worked up #it’s so disgusting to witness #i know we went a lil crazy being locked up but— wtf is going on #😮‍💨#anyway #can’t simb bcs stress is eating me alive #been playing days gone instead and omg i’m obsessed w this game #i think we should all start a protest for a days gone sequel bcs wtf do you mean it was rejected??? no bitch #i need more zaddy deacon st john!#chatter

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polarsirens · 2 years

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#this is extremely dumb but i cried today listening to a song #imagining a neverafter animatic of an ending #that is yet to happen and only imagined and probably wrong #also i ahve no idea how i’ll go about making that kind of animatic i’ve got in my head but #i’m in this bad habit right now of #associating every song i like with neverafter #and i just. i can’t quite imagine a “good” way of neverafter ending without some wild sacrifices #which means i’m associating every sad song with it #and imm making myself tear up for something that won’t ever happen #anyway i’m leaving that partial lyric that really hit me here:#“just as much as I mean something #everyone’s existence means something #and I want to hear it #I want to hear it #that voice reaching out towards tomorrow #so that someday when I’m reminded of today again your smile won’t fade #so that—before I disappear—my days with you won’t fade #I’ll leave this here”

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insanechayne · 3 days

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~ ~ ~

#I hate who I am when I start missing human contact and feeling lonely #I start missing someone who was awful to me simply because they were reliable in talking to me every day and at least sort of my friend #I start craving the connections that you see in media even though I know those types aren’t real #it seems like everyone else has more people and better people and closer people in their lives than me #it seems like everyone has best friends and partners that are closer to them and better for them #and idk it just feels like things are missing from my life #I have a partner but I can’t always talk to them when I need to because they can’t always handle a conversation #I have a best friend but he barely ever answers my calls and things feel distant between us lately #I have other friends but they’re not the kinds that I feel I could turn to for help when I’m lonely like this #I have my parents but neither of them are very good at comfort in these situations #and I just want to cry because I feel so completely by myself and I don’t know what to do anymore #I just want someone to talk to and who will listen to me when I need help and advice and be there for me #I’m starting to really miss the wrong people again even though I know I’m better without them in my life #but at least I could send them anything and get a response fairly soon when I needed to #at least for a while they were very close to me and i think that’s what I really miss most of all #just the closeness of another person since I don’t always feel that with other relationships these days #it’s times like these I wish I’d just killed myself at 16 so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this over and over forever #it’s times like these I wanna fade away #if I’m going to be alone anyway then why bother keeping others around at all? why not just break off and go be a hermit somewhere else?#but I can’t do that because I have too many responsibilities that I need to take care of #idk maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with #pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to make it this long in the first place #I mean I’m being facetious cause I’m not overly suicidal and I’m not actually going to do anything #just kinda wish I could in a weird sort of way #like missing the feeling of a blade slicing my skin since I stopped cutting a long time ago #just want more out of my relationships and from myself and from my life and idk how to get any of that #personal

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heybaetae · 2 months

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#i’m having an incredibly hard time.#and i’m trying not to burden anyone else with it because i’ve already expressed so much of my grief related feelings over the last year #but this loss in particular is so incredibly profound and arguably the most painful bc it was the least complicated or nuanced #therefore i am completely and paralyzingly distraught in ways i didn’t experience with my grandma or my sister #and that’s confusing bc on one hand i wonder if it makes me a bad person and on the other hand i just don’t even care #pet grief is something entirely different #harley was and is the most important and precious thing in my life #his love was unconditional and he gave my days structure and routine #he is still so embedded in me that i have spent every day without him so far still listening for him around the house #i don’t think i’ve ever cried this consistently and so easily every day in my life #i don’t even have to try to cry or force it at all and i wonder how long it’ll take before the automatic nature of it stops #i go to sleep crying and the minute i get out of bed i am crying before i even leave my room bc i know he won’t he outside of it #my heart is so broken i feel like i’m going to suffocate #two nights ago i ran into my mom’s room sobbing before bed bc my night time routine was suddenly shortened #i can’t go to bed without putting him to bed #i didn’t know what to do i just broke down on her bed where i would tuck him in #i don’t know how i’m going to move on from this i genuinely am at my lowest point #i am Not okay. i haven’t been okay in a really long time but this has knocked me down so hard #i don’t see myself ever getting up atp

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petalsthefish · 3 months

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Actually going to throw myself off a cliff side if I can’t move into my own place by the end of next year 🫠

#listen I love my parents #I am so thankful they are mostly normal #but I can’t do anything without the third degree #I miss the freedom of going out when I want without getting the ‘who will be there’ ‘when will you be home’ ‘where r u going this late’#I MISS being gone all day and then #not having ANY CLUE where I was or what I was doing

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serenityinsabr · 11 months

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“Oh, there was Heaven in your eyes

I was not baptized

Everything's alright when

She calls me back, she calls me back

Lost for a long time

Two parallel lines”

“I could be an old tattoo

To remind me when I get bad news

That I do not exist to die”

“The radio is taunting me

Every song, a minor key

And I don't get much sleep most nights

I'm seeing you in every dream”

“If only I could wake you up

If only I could fall asleep

I'll love you when the oceans dry

I'll love you when the rivers freeze”

“All the pain I should have saved

Oh, I was too afraid of livin' life in your footsteps

In your heart or in your way

Oh, I was too afraid of livin' life in your footsteps”

#She Calls Me Back #Noah Kahan #Kacey Musgraves #Will listen to this without feeling heavy one day #today isn’t the day #earlier tonight I was like wow today was good #if I die now I won’t ever have to feel sad again #and it was for sure an intrusive thought #but really scared me #like why did my brain go there #I don’t know #but I’m worried that it did #Anyways #these are the most important lyrics in this song #but basically the whole song #I can’t stop listening #Spotify

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faithinlouisfuture · 2 years

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the way Louis says “cinema” in Lucky Again scratches a very particular itch in my brain

#lucky again #was btw the biggest grower for me that I can think of #in first listen I didn’t immediately fall in love with it #now I can’t go by a day without listening to it #in my current top 5 actually #faith in the future

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ironhusband · 2 years

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Thinking about Erik snapping at Charles with “well maybe you should have fought harder for them” and the pain in his eyes when Charles told him they didn’t want the same things.