#my disposal and everyone thougut i was being weird and standoffish and mean but really i was pulsing hurt like a strobe light every second o
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#purrs#what if i was experiencing ordeals so mortifying and horrors so horrible i could not talk about them to anyone in full honesty and truth and#transparency not even the dearest people in my life who love me and actively want to support me and listen to me or my tumblr mutuals who#are literally my bestest friends who live in my phone and in some cases outside of it so instead i locked myself in my rapunzel tower and pr#proceeded to cut off my hair and then cut off my dress and then cut off my brain so it could stop perceiving stimuli and reacting to it#despite wanting to get better and thinking it’s getting better and i couldn’t even tell my therapist because he doesn’t get me but it takes#too long to find a new one and i don’t have time and also my tower was getting renovated and also i was a little bug who was getting.#crushed by giant rain drops falling on my shell and bending my antennae so im dizzy and also it’s as almost midnight and i had to be up at a#work awake in 6 hours and ready to fscilitwtbeblike 3 things but i was screaming and howling and pounding on the floor over the dumbest most#normal sjit in the entire world that i couldn’t tell anybody i was struggling over because it would make everybody in the world blow up and#die and explode. what if i had to communicate the horrors through memes and vague posts every single day and that was all that was truly at#my disposal and everyone thougut i was being weird and standoffish and mean but really i was pulsing hurt like a strobe light every second o#of every day. becaus ei think if all of that was true i would simply go to sleep without doing the dishes and redacted redacted redacted red#redacted. and i wish i could. but i can’t. I’m just a little beetle and the rain drops are so huge. lol#delete later#puslng INCOMMUNICABLE hurt *. like morse code. like fire flies. Because literally… 💡💡💡💡💡#<- girl who has had separation anxiety since the day she was born. but also girl who never texts anyone back. girl who is a hypocrite 🥰
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