#need to talk to anyone irl who isn’t related to me or dating my mom or my therapist

[milo-is-rambling]

I wish I had friends near meeeeeee to distract me from my brainnnnnnnnnn

[seaottersandstrings]

something lgbt just happened to me (extreme emotional pain edition)

(ignore me I just need an internet void to scream in where she wont see it or read if you’re nosy and willing to be nice about it)

(also if anyone has any advice for how to not be so fucked up about the girl who is kinda your ex but not really (in the “never actually dated but we both had feelings and acted like it a lot” way) officially dating a new person for the first time since she shattered your heart into a million tiny pieces please dm me said advice this is 100% serious)

like we have all the same friends and it’s been over half a year so I feel weird talking to irl people about it. even I am surprised at how intensely the emotions punched me in the lungs when she told us she has a bf now. like cmon brain I knew we weren’t over this but I thought we were at least getting better. 

also there’s the added fun layer of “her own internalized biphobia and biphobic family members made it so our connection was always laced with shame and repression and suffering anyway.” and now she gets to celebrate this moment with friends and family and do boy talk with her mom and ask her parents for advice about this guy she’s known for a couple months and have an easy friends to lovers arc with him. while I was stuck listening to her family coo over how she should get back with her ex bf once he transferred to our college while she and I were literally sleeping in the same bed the night before. but bc I’m not a guy ofc nothing could possibly have been going on there. 

like you’re telling me I was in a years-long, will-they-won’t-they sufferfest where I was embarrassingly emotionally devoted to this person only for npc #3 to crawl out of the woodwork and get the instant stamp of approval for wanting to get to know her better and giving it the old college try? 

and to be clear I’m not blaming her she feels how she feels and obviously the bi/homophobia is a societal/community level issue. it just sucks so bad to fall so deeply in love with someone over such a long time and have those feelings be treated less seriously because of things we can’t control. like just on top of the regular heartbreak of it all. and believe me the regular heartbreak of it all is more than enough for my little eggshell heart to handle. 

and on a regular heartbreak level it also sucks because she’s a good person that I genuinely care about on a non-romantic level and still think very highly of. like our relationship wasn’t and still isn’t perfect but she’s one of the best people in my life and an objectively decent human being. so it’s not like I can even rationalize to myself “well it was toxic” (actually maybe the dynamic was but like SHE wasn’t a toxic person y’know) or “she treated me badly” or “she sucks so I’m better off now anyway.” like no she’s wonderful and her new bf is very lucky life just sucks sometimes. 

did I mention she and I are still best friends and even though we live in different cities now which helps I still have to pretend to be totally 100% excited about this for the sake of being a good bestie? like god I love being a lesbian if I had to do life all over again and got a choice I would choose to be queer every single goddamn time. but this is the most painful shit I’ve ever felt in my life and that’s a pretty high bar at this point. especially since this is technically not my first heartbreak but it’s my first one since realizing I’m a lesbian and not bi and started having a lot of The Piercing Loneliness of Breaking Every Societal Expectation feelings about it. like I think my brain was unintentionally pulling a “maybe I’ll turn out normal-passing” on itself (which is total bullshit) for a while there. and even though I know that was bullshit coming to terms with being a lesbian was so much harder for me than coming to terms with being queer at all and everything related to it has just felt so much more intense since. 

and on some level I’m also jealous bc she got out and can have a relationship she can celebrate and talk about with her family without fear and I can never have that. like bi people obviously go through so much shit and have a hard time getting both straight and gay people to take them seriously and as someone who lived that (in the “other people treated me like I was bi bc we all thought I was” sense) and thought that was who I was for 7 years I would never want to diminish that but oh my god being on the other side now I can understand how easy it is to let yourself get bitter. And I never want to be that person but at the same time speaking purely of my own experience it didn’t take me so long (2+ years) to figure out I was a lesbian because I just didn’t know like at some point deep down I knew especially near the end of my questioning era but I kept asking myself “well are you SURE?” because didn’t want to face the loneliness of it. Of closing the door on the last possible chance I had for my family and I to bond over something in a normal way for once. And coming out again was incredibly freeing but I also had to be willing to break my own heart to do it and the compounding heartbreak is just so much. 

anyway if anyone is reading this I love you and I hope you’re having a better day than me. happy new year. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers  /  the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

[jaypelt]

Cheers for Five Years of Undertale, and its Everlasting Effect on Me

Been a while since I’ve done one of these... I might even be rusty at it! Honestly, what I’ve got right now are more vague thoughts than coherent words in my head. I wasn’t sure if I’d even do this, since I felt it wasn’t entirely necessary. Everybody had so much to say! But spurned on by the display of someone very close to me, the cogs in my head couldn’t help but start turning for me too. So here I am. This isn’t going to be easy, though. Because if you read this, I need you to understand the depth of my feelings. Even if just a little. So I’ll do my best to bare my heart yet again, for the sake of it and everything its done for me. Everything it’ll keep doing for me.

The beginning is usually always one of the hardest parts. A blank space devoid of anything, that you’ve got to somehow miraculously fill with thoughts somebody else could understand. But Undertale is rarely a subject I ever have to struggle so much with. It’s been a long, long five years.

This is re-treading old ground that a number of those who know me are already familiar with, however, I don’t think this would be complete without it. But it will get very, VERY personal. If you’re not comfortable with that, then uh... giving you another warning now. But pushing forward...

Right before UT came out, I hadn’t begun to really unravel quite yet. But I was very close. It was somewhat of a rough transitional period as I moved on from my middle school to high, losing very dear IRL friends and generally continuing to struggle with school, as I had been for years. Untreated ADHD is real nasty. But I’d always had at least some friends, either online, or ones I made throughout the year, to rely on. And I didn’t really think about things. The start of this school year was no different. Even having a... perhaps questionable choice of boyfriend, but, well, he was my first.

I struggled with just about every aspect of school from basically the start, but having a small group, and especially an online partner to come home to everyday, helped me at least get through. In the coming months, however, I’d start to encounter more turbulence. Through aforementioned partner, I met someone who’d come to rely on me far more than he should have. Made even worse by the fact that he was a full grown adult while I was only 14, which will be a recurring trend. And has been for most of my life.

We hit it off pretty quickly, becoming good friends and talking to each other outside of mutual friend spaces. And through that, he started to open up about his problems. Living with a family that treated him poorly, suicidal urges, and particularly, an abusive boyfriend. If you know me well, I’ve probably definitely talked about this at least a little.

My daily routine starting becoming supporting this person through all of his troubles. Sitting in skype calls or exchanging messages for hours at a time on the daily. Rarely did a day go by where I didn’t, slowly sinking into an apathetic pit from overextending myself for the sake of his mental health. I couldn’t even help him improve, all I could do was just try to keep him alive. Which, well, I did. For months.

Everything else fell to the wayside as I was constantly stressed about the life of someone I cared about. Obviously my school life suffered even further. I grew withdrawn from everyone, and kept only to the few online friends I had. However, in the midst of this downward spiral, just before the ball really got rolling, a certain game came out. Exactly a month after it had come out, October 15th, 2015, I’d become interested after all the talk on tumblr about Undertale.

After watching a playthrough on youtube(I didn’t play for myself at first, a pity), It’d personally resonated so strongly and gotten me so hooked that it was something I invested a fair amount of my time into consuming content about. I grew super attached to all these characters that’d made me laugh, smile, cry... just this whole spectrum of emotions. And someone in particular, Alphys, really caught my attention after things had begun to get worse.

She felt so... relatable, though I couldn’t possibly tell you all the reasons. When I think about it, we’re not really the most similar, but something about her just hooked me. Maybe because she had all these things going on that nobody knew about. And that she lied. And felt so anxious interacting with anyone after she’d previously been much warmer and closer. That she was closer to “disappearing” than she seemed.

Whatever the reasons, the months moving further along, consuming content about UT practically became my lifeline. I reblogged heaps and heaps of posts  about it, watched videos, listened to the soundtrack, even started drawing because I’d been so inspired. When I was just stuck in this horrible pit of second-hand depression, it was the one thing that still made me happy. I started to really think about why it mattered to me and how. It’s funny, I’d read books obsessively for years before then, but UT was the thing that really got me thinking. It was all downhill from there, I tell you. Now I’m an artist and a writer. Horrific.

But, unfortunately, for all its good... it couldn’t stop what was to come. I was still getting worse and worse, with no end in sight. I’d already been supporting... let’s call him Phil, for a few months. And in December of that year, my boyfriend completely dropped off the grid for a while. I’d see him appear online sometimes and I’d message him, but no response, then right back to offline. Finally, he came back, approaching me with something he obviously was uncomfortable about.

To make a long story short, he’d come to the conclusion that he was straight, and decided to end the relationship. What’s bad is that... honestly? I was already doing so poorly that I had a hard time caring. But we did pretty much stop talking, and I leaned into Undertale all the more. Anyway, time continued to pass. Not without its few ups, and mostly downs. I got used to being called “mature”, usually followed by “especially for your age.” “Phil” told me that if I were legal, he’d date me. I’ve got a crippling fear of screwing up with people that’s stuck with me to this day, after a few occasions involving him. I considered doing some... not so great things to myself. Thankfully, I was always so averse to physical pain that it didn’t become anything extreme.

As for the few ups, there was “Phil” finally managing to leave his abusive relationship, when he’d tried previously and fallen into such a bad depressive episode I had to talk him down. So that was something. He’d even started going to therapy after the second break up.

Not that it did a whole lot. The school year began approaching its end and nothing had really changed. I’d been going through all the same motions for around half a year or more. My sleep was terrible, I was passing almost none of my classes, had practically no friends to speak of, and just felt... tired. All the time. But during this... the minute beginning of a monumental shift started. Another character in UT had begun to clutch me in his grasp. Even more strongly than Alphys. Flowey. Through the posts a singular person on tumblr had made about him and my experience with the geno run, I came to understand the dumb little flower more. Which is also funny, because he was previously my least favorite. Even, yes, after the Asriel reveal.

I’m having a difficult time weaving together this convoluted timeline of events, but it was around... perhaps March or early April that the person whom I’d been supporting for almost a full fucking year completely disappeared. Without a word. The one thing I’d tried to stick to for so long was just. Gone. So I drifted about with, well, no purpose.

By the end of the school year, it probably goes without saying that I was... not doing great. But one those aforementioned acquaintances I’d only just started to become actual friends with came forth to me with a question. That being if there was some way for us to keep contact during the summer. So I gave her my email, which would turn out to be a decision that saved my life. Because things would only get worse before they got better.

This is getting to be way, way, way too long. So to summarize, summertime came around and I’d been in pretty close contact with... I’ll just call her V. She was... well, unlike anyone I’d ever known. Someone who stood out with the intelligence you could just see in their eyes. Outgoing, charismatic, compassionate... all those sorts of things. We were opposites in a lot of ways. Or, at least, it felt like it.

Some things happened, like “Phil” coming back after months of nothing. Me immediately slotting back into my role of being a pillar of support, but then screwing up and hating myself for it. But honestly, that ain’t shit to the rest of the whole shitshow.

For a bit of context, my parents are divorced. So for most of the previous years, I’d been going to my mom’s place during the summer and staying with her the whole time, to make up for how rarely we’d see each other otherwise. That year... she was beginning to run low on money. She lived next to my granny, but still basically alone, compared to how she’d been staying with someone else in hotels for the few prior years.

After learning she didn’t have enough to pay rent and might be kicked out, she tried to appeal to her mom, who said she wouldn’t let her stay. Why? I don’t know. After that, she spiraled into a panic. And, well, the ever faithful little worker bee, I stepped forward to try and console her in any way I could. She seemed to recompose, at least a little. It wasn’t great, and she thought she’d have to do some unsavory things in order to survive, but... I thought that, just maybe, I’d done something.

But... later that night, she started drinking. Which... well, put her in a mood. Exacerbated by the day’s earlier events and the fact that she was taking medication that responded poorly to alcohol. She came over to where I was sitting, my little makeshift desk I’d put together to set up my desktop, with my little sister just in the other room. Just... a warning for this next part, it’s... grim. More grim than anything else in this thread.

She proceeded to tell me she was going to go upstairs and grab the gun my granny kept in her room. And berated me for thinking I’d done anything to help, saying she “wasn’t like my little friends” that I could simply talk to. With that, she walked away, heading upstairs. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so crushed in my entire life, to this day. I broke down crying, sitting in that chair.

Yet, somehow, I managed to stop when I saw her coming back down. She walked back over, pointed the gun at her head, and told me to give her a reason she shouldn’t do it. And also to this day, I.... still don’t know if I said what was right. It was all I could think of. I quietly told her that if she did it, I’d pick that gun up and do it to myself. Same as her. And I asked if she wanted to be responsible for that.

It was true, too. By that point, I didn’t care anymore.

And if there’s one thing I can say about her, it’s that she’s always cared about me. In a horrible, twisted way especially, that night. It was enough to make her silently pull the gun down, go back upstairs, and put it away. One last time... she came down, walked past me to the front door and simply said “I love you.” before going out to sit on the porch.

I’m not sure I’ll ever truly get over the events of that night. I spoke to V afterwards, as I’d been keeping in regular contact, as I said. And even been speaking to her throughout the day about what was happening. I think she was panicking just as much as I had been, and told me to go find the gun and unload it. So I did. Bawling my eyes out the whole damn time. Afterwards, I took the bullets and threw them in the large neighborhood garbage can.

The rest of the night’s a blur. I don’t recall if anything else happened, I just remember waking up tired the next day. My uncle was in the house, as he’d been staying with my granny for a while, but hadn’t been around the night before. I tried to talk to him, but.. couldn’t bring myself to open up. Even though we were pretty close. I went back to my dad’s.

That wasn’t the end of it, either. For the next coming months, I’d get drunken calls and live in fear of being put right back in the same situation. It got so bad that I stopped answering my phone altogether. I broke contact with my mom entirely. I still hate answering or making calls.

Anyway, a few other things happened in the summer, like my applying for online courses. And the subsequent ridicule from my dad’s side of the family for the decision. Tell you what, the stress of taking a test to try and join that online program, then going to golden corral and having to struggle to not cry in front of everyone there was... not the ideal way to spend a birthday. Happy 15 years to me.

So.... that was that. I still went through with online courses and everything kind of... slowed to a crawl. I tried to do school work, but depression and still yet untreated ADHD prevented me from making any substantial progress beyond a few finished classes. For a while I simply... existed in a limbo. All I did was get up, get on my computer, maybe talk to a few people, and play Overwatch. Maybe look at tumblr, as I remained into Undertale. V and I lost contact after school started back up. I never blamed her for it. In fact, I preferred it that way. She didn’t deserve to have such a burden placed on her, and I still... feel guilty for leaning on her so much.

But I’m very thankful. I hope she’s out there living a good life, wherever she is.

And this! Is where we finally get to the not depressing parts! And only... what, 29 paragraphs in? Sheesh... I know I wanted to really illustrate just how shit things were to demonstrate just how much UT did for me, but this is taking it a bit far, isn’t it? Ah well... already made it this far. In for a penny, in for a pound. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! I’m sorry. Truly. And I love you so very dearly.

Time went by and I kept doing my thing. Playing Overwatch(a practically self-destructive behavior deserving a therapy, frankly), talking to the few friends I had that I kept at an arm’s length, that sort of stuff. “Phil” and I no longer talked, thank goodness. Obviously I was depressed as all hell, not bothering to shower, eat, clean up, or do laundry for days on end. I spent more time asleep than I did awake, on most days. Did I say this was where the not depressing part was? I may have lied a little.

Blah blah “more months go by”, you know the drill. Until... I believe, November of 2016. After cementing my love of Flowey ever deeper, I’d started to follow more blogs putting out content for him on tumblr. In particular, the most important ones being I’lltrytobegood, Flowey-Answers, and later happyflowey and Corruptedflora.

It all started with a stream. I joined an art stream of LLA(Lovelyladyartist) on picarto as he worked on ITTBG. I kept quiet for the first few streams I joined, being too anxious to really out myself in any capacity. But little by little, I was coerced out of my shell. Particularly by one SilverKhaos, who I think at the time went by SilverSlayer or something. Anyway, he got me talking. And through that, I started making friends, bit by bit.

Also through the stream, I was introduced to CC(CuteCatDoodles) of Flowey-Answers. I obsessively read through the entire blog in a single sitting, just... having such a good time with it. And... strangely enough, it... got me feeling oddly better. Like I’d finally started to breath after not being able to for what felt like such a long time. If just a little. The next day, I got out of bed early, cleaned up, took out some garbage, and made breakfast. Just a simple plate of scrambled eggs. A simple, easy morning for most any average person. But for me? It was one of the most special mornings I’ve ever had.

Likewise, I did the same with Ding’s happyflowey, of reading through all of it in a single night. My head hurt like a motherfucker, but I tell you, it was worth it. The effect perhaps not as profound, but still very meaningful to me, as well as sowing the seeds of yet more relationships to form. If far off in the future, as far as this timeline is concerned. I still adore all of those dumb, charming little flowers so much. Mania would come to inspire my first ever OC, in fact. Thinking about that blog makes me miss when the UT fandom was more active here, even though I never participated in the fandom at large. But I’m grateful for the memories and incredible amounts of enjoyment getting to read it all brought me. I have way too many cropped images of Hysteria.

I wasn’t immediately better, but it was all the start of something new. I kept up with the streams, also joining in for CC’s. For hours upon hours a day, I’d just hop into them and spend the day talking away. I had something to really look forward upon waking up, starting to adjust my schedule so that I at least didn’t miss TOO much. I was able to really make friends, it felt like. Even though I wasn’t and still am not the most socially adept.

And as luck would have it, because picarto chat was and probably still is pretty unstable to this day, it just happened to go down and that led to... the creation of the discord server! It started off small, but steadily got more and more joiners from the growing population of the streams. LovelyLadyArtist, CuteCatDoodles, BrySkye, Flowers-Without-Pots, SilverSlayer, KRS, Donut, Mr.Quarter, Dragoler, Stilla, Chara, RotmModdy, Rowdy, Dunal, and probably at least a few others I’m forgetting... all names I encountered there and most of which I still see daily.

Through that server, we started keeping up even when there wasn’t any stream going on. Just goofing off and having a good ‘ol time. Already I was... well, doing a helluva lot better than I had before. All because of the gathering of a small community surrounding this indie gem. And even further centered in a niche specifically about Flowey! Who, and I’d forgotten to mention this before, I’d found a surprising amount to relate in. He’d become a big, BIG hyperfocus. Which is why I’d met everyone at all. Truly, it’s crazy to think how possible it is for me to have never come down this path.

From there on, I continued to meet new people, established new relationships. I even got invited to an RP server, creatively named “Flower RP” :p. At first I was hesitant, perhaps not even initially 100% interested. But as people really got into it, I felt an incredibly strong Fear of Missing Out. Leading to the creation of a character still near and dear to my heart.... Zorch. The result of contributions from many friends, from design ideas, to character concepts, and even his name(thanks for that, Rowdy). And... I began to write. It wasn’t great at first. very short form, and I didn’t know how to approach the roleplaying mindset, or even how to properly characterize him.

But over time... I got better. I became more confident. I really got into the nitty-gritty of character writing and discussion. I joined in on hours long discussions about the characters, lore, and narrative of Undertale. I’d wake up just to be there as soon as chat began to move, all the way to the point where everyone was finally asleep. I started to be able to help people again. For months, participating in this RP, in this chat, in this community was what I lived for. The joy that I felt in being among friends all working towards and talking about a common goal and interest is, well, honestly still somewhat unrivaled.

Paci, Pots, Neue, Castor, Silver, Nightmare, Rowdy. Me. All of us joined together in mutual love for a game, spurred on to feverishly create our own content about it. I kept up for months on end, living by the mostly same routine for probably the longest I’ve ever stuck to anything. Eventually... things happened and the server’s gone quiet. We had problems with management, people feeling excluded, targeted, etc etc. It was a very... consequence heavy RP, most of us were almost complete newbies to the roleplaying game, and many came to care rather deeply about the ongoings of it. Perhaps too much. But, well... I’m not sure it could have been prevented.

Sometimes, I still wish I could go back to that point of my life. I know someone else who does too. Even more than me. But I know not to try and emulate the past, as alluring as it may seem. So I push forward. Leading to yet another server with its own events. Clement, myself, Rowdy, Zielo, Neue, Moddy, Vee, Mini, Nappy, Tia, Silver. Some familiar names, some new. All still with the foundation of Undertale, but it quickly became a thing for us to just... chill and talk about anything. There was real love in that place. It was at this time that I even started going to therapy! After some struggling with the family. It helped a lot.

In time, that server, too, went under. For reasons that have long since been buried and forgiven. It no longer exists, after being deleted entirely, but I’ll always remember it. And we did eventually all(mostly) gather back together someplace new, which is still being talked in. Even gaining some new additions recently! If any of you guys are catching this one, I love you!

And we come to the final and most recent group. One I wasn’t actually a founding member of, instead being a late joiner. Comparatively smaller than all the ones before, but filled with just as much love. Pip, Ding, Kink, and Cola. Remember when I mentioned happyflowey sowing seeds, and then didn’t even expound in further detail about corruptedflora? Well congratulations, you’ve reached the payoff.

It all started after I began interacting with the mun of CF, Kinko, and became mutuals with them. We usually just spam reblogged from each other on occasion for a while. That is, until I got messaged, then sent a friend request through Discord. Which, even still, didn’t immediately go anywhere. But eventually... some things led to another, and we joined up in a particular server. Not one I’ll be naming, but times were... turbulent in there. It went under and we lost contact a bit after that.

That is, until completely out of the blue, I just get invited to a server with them and some pals to just join in on Roblox shenanigans. Imagine me, sweating and anxious as hell after getting asked to join a server with two people behind blogs I adore, considering Ding was there too. Cardiac arrest, I tell you. And obviously more than just them too! But the night turned out to be so fun that I forgot I’d ever been so anxious in the first place.

From there on... the rest was history. There’s been many, MANY ups and downs, but I’ve found yet more people I love very, very dearly. And they’ve gotten me to open up about the way I feel the most. In the past years, I could never tell someone I loved them, no matter how much I really wanted to. The words just couldn’t come out, but they... they brought that out in me. And now I can say it whenever I want! Like now! I love you guys!!! So much!!!! And not just you all, but everyone else too!!! And much love to Kink especially for being a driving force behind me making this, as well as just being a goddamn star.

So... as a final ovation... LLA, CC, Bry, Drago/Paci, Pots, Silver, Donut, Quarter, Stilla, Chara, Moddy, Rowdy, Neue, Castor/Skater, Tia/Nightmare, Clement, Zielo, Vee, Nappy, Ding, Pip, Cola, and Kink. As well as some stragglers like Log, Ingrid, and Jai. I’m probably still forgetting some... but thank you all for being my friends. It’s been a long, long five years. And yet, many of you are still in my life. In at least some form. There aren’t words enough to express my gratitude towards every single one of you for the most incredible years of my life and pulling me from what can be called nothing less than the fucking abyss. You all made and continue to make life worth living.

And thank you, Undertale. The game behind all of these relationships.  The game that inspired such strong feelings in me when nothing else could. That made me into an artist and writer. The reason I’m still alive. The game that changed my fucking life and will continue to affect me, I believe, for the duration of it. I really cannot overstate just how important you were and still are. There’ll never be anything else like you.

[lgcyunhyeong]

hey there!! this is my first time in lgc and i’m super excited to be here! i’ve been eyeing this place for a while and i’m glad i finally mustered up the nerve to join. this is cho yunhyeong, 21, works part time at his local gs25. he’s been a trainee for little over a year and is hoping to eventually debut in a band! he plays the bass and sings a little bit, and he also wants to get into songwriting and composition eventually. he’s generally kind of a weird kid--super spacey, often distracted, your local space nerd--but he’s a good egg in spite of that. compared to some of the other trainees, he’s pretty aimless and chill, but he does genuinely love music and performing, so...!

you can find some more info about him on his about and background pages but they’re kind of messy so i’ll drop some quick facts about yunhyeong under the cut, along with some connection/plot ideas to hopefully kickstart things! if you’d like to plot, please hit like on this post and i’ll hop into your ims! i also have a discord if you prefer to plot there - just ask me for my username ♡

quick facts:

born and brought up in seoul - very local, most comfortable in his neighbourhood, the most exciting vacation he ever took was to busan (and it was #lit). his parents own the best hot pot restaurant in seoul, and yeah he’s biased but that doesn’t mean it’s not true! 

has an older brother currently in law school and their relationship is best described as ‘i tolerate you’. they’re complete opposites - his brother is super driven and loud and outgoing while yunhyeong is not so they’ve never really clicked beyond the fact that they are siblings and therefore are obligated to love each other

was the quiet kid growing up, had a very chill and subdued personality. didn’t really speak unless spoken too, didn’t play much with others. most of the time he kept to himself and focused on his hyperfixations - first, it was dinosaurs, and then space! and he’s been stuck with space ever since

his mom put him in music lessons when he was younger in hopes that a relatable hobby might help him make friends?? also that it’d work as a conversation starter but it didn’t because yunhyeong remained as weird and solitary as ever! he did fall in love with music as a result though

in high school he decided to branch out and make friends by starting a band - new age sexy aliens or NASA for short. his recruitment process was like: whoever shows up to join is part of the band! it worked out for the best since he and the band members got really close

they started off playing covers but then branched out into their own original music (yunhyeong helped write some of their lyrics). most of their songs used heavy space imagery and they were really pretty but also low key about aliens

yunhyeong loves aliens

nasa had a pretty dedicated fanbase both online and in their school! did well, were thriving, living their best lives and playing hella gigs, and then their lead singer got scouted by an entertainment company. it was the beginning of the end for them; the rest of the members went their own ways as well and the band officially disbanded in 2018 rip

yunhyeong started to busk on/off since he wasn’t attending university and didn’t really know what the heck else he wanted to do with his life outside of the band, and that’s where he got scouted by legacy! joined the company because like... well... why would he not...

wants to debut in a band if he can... and focus on songwriting and music composition as a secondary career path. he isn’t like... super motivated though? has always had issues with setting goals and being ambitious... he’s more like, eh, i’m just gonna go where life takes me! 

personality wise, he’s still a pretty quiet kid unless you get him talking about one of his interests, in which case he will never shut up EVER. he gets distracted easily and will sometimes zone out when you’re talking to him but has a good memory of like, the most random shit you wouldn’t expect him to recall

easygoing as hell, rarely gets riled up over anything. on the flip side, he doesn’t really come across as sincere (even though he almost always is!) in his emotions because people are like... hm... just feels fake. tries to stay as positive as he can and doesn’t dwell on stuff that might upset him. sometimes people think he’s shallow! but he has #deepthoughts. he just doesn’t share them

unmotivated when it comes to most things! has no goals, no ambition, doesn’t care much for academia or being forced to like, conform to things. his mom calls him a free spirit but she’s probably just making excuses for him. it’s more like he’s stuck in some sort of limbo?? scared of growing up but scared of being left behind. it’s complicated

he’s really a sweet guy though. a little odd - he’s not the best at showing affection and sometimes he can be really... strange? offbeat? you never know what the fuck is going on in his head. but he’s a Human Being Just Like You (sadly) and simply trying his best to live every day

connection/plot ideas:

he didn’t really have many friends growing up, but still - childhood friends! maybe you were the exception. maybe you didn’t mind that he was awkward and quiet and a little weird! maybe you tripped and fell on the playground and he gave you a star-patterned purple band aid and you decided you would die for him. who knows! 

friends in general who understand him and look @ him with fond exasperation... must be able to tolerate his antics. liking aliens is a bonus. jk, but he’s a sweet guy who loves his friends! please be kind to him

fans of his former band, nasa (or antis?). he was the bassist and a sub vocal and didn’t stand out too much compared to some of the other guys, but he always did the intros and he’ll happily talk about nasa all day! discuss the symbolism of their songs with him

exes? i genuinely cannot think of a single reason why anyone would want to date him but i feel like he’s had at least (1) relationship before... maybe you took a chance and after you started dating you were like, god, i’m running away

crushes, whether one-sided on his part or your part or reciprocated but you don’t know it yet?? he’s holding out for his alien bae but maybe you don’t know that and just think he’s like, this quiet mysterious pretty boy. maybe he thinks you’re cool for a human! 

fellow trainees who can play instruments... yunhyeong needs someone to #jam with because playing the bass alone is kind of lonely (and since he’d like to eventually get on the band track, making some connections would be cool) 

fellow trainees in general, especially ones in his training group!! he’s not as hungry for debut or as ambitious as some which means he’s a) non-threatening and b) chill to hang with. you could be into that or it could absolutely infuriate you since he doesn’t seem to be taking things seriously! maybe you think he doesn’t deserve to be here

met online on an alien enthusiast forum and you talk almost every single day about various theories and moves and all that kind of stuff but you’ve never met irl! and yunhyeong really wants to meet you in person! 

idk bully him 

you’re buying a bunch of weird shit from the convenience store where yunhyeong works at like 2 am and he has so many questions and won’t let you pay and leave until you answer them

alternatively, you find him sleeping on the job and you want to wake him up but the moment you touch his arm, he makes this high pitched screeching noise and you fall over and take an entire shelf of candy down with you

you invite yunhyeong out for drinks but he took one sip of soju and he’s a mess... you didn’t sign up to take care of a giant drunken baby but guess what! you will be! if he tries to kiss you, dodge him

you always bum free meals from yunhyeong’s parents’ restaurant because his parents think you’re his best friend. tbh you actually don’t really like him but he doesn’t realize it so he never bothers correcting his parents either!

you didn’t realize yunhyeong was allergic to cats and dogs and you brought your cat/dog near him and oh my god he is having the UGLIEST allergic reaction

yunhyeong can’t swim. you push him into a pool as a joke. chaos ensues

you play various video games together and yunhyeong is really good but he’s more interested in stardew valley than in league of legends and you keep pestering him to play with you dammit i need you on my team

you slipped a love letter under his door for one of his roommates but yunhyeong thought it was for him and now he keeps (kindly) rejecting you whenever you see him and you don’t even know how to react

Oh No We Are Trapped In This Room And The Power Went Out And I Am Scared Of The Dark Please Hold My Hand For Science

yunhyeong loves smoothies and one day you catch him trying to blend a slice of pepperoni pizza into a smoothie because he is, and i quote, “tired of chewing”

IDK ALL THESE IDEAS ARE BAD BUT PLEASE PLOT WITH ME ANYWAY

[maklodes]

I don’t usually do tumblr sadposting, but I guess maybe the holidays are getting to me and such. I already posted this on /r/trueoffmychest. I’m not sure whether posting this stuff or bottling it up (my usual practice) is better, but I thought I’d give this a shot. I may decide this makes me feel worse and go back to bottling it up. I have no strong feelings about whether you reblog this or not. Potentially distressing content below the cut. 

I just feel like it's too late to form real relationships or succeed in life in conventional terms.

Background: I am thirty-five year old man. I don't really have any real friends, and feel like I haven't really since high school (and not many then). I am a kissless virgin straight guy. I am back living with my parents. I have a very spotty employment history, sometimes working with startups that never went anywhere, sometimes doing part time work doing things like Solidworks CAD design stuff. I followed a weird path academically, got a bachelors in economics, then a masters in mechanical engineering. I'm starting a new CAD job in January. The money is okay ($30/hr), but it is part time with fluctuating hours, and generally my résumé is as holey as Swiss cheese.

I have been getting therapy, and have been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. My therapist and some other people have recommended resources to help me try to get out more. I started going to a group that hosts events for people on the autism spectrum, and I went to vocational rehab which connected me with MERS Goodwill which has provided employment counseling that I felt didn’t help much in getting a job (I got my new job primarily through an unrelated personal connection), but maybe did help me in overcoming the severe anxiety I feel around applying for jobs. I also started going to a kind of Jewish young-adult oriented group.

It just doesn't feel like it helps. I can't really connect with people, whether allistic or autistic. I feel like in primarily allistic gatherings, groups of people are already engrossed in their own circles before I know how to break in. I can talk a little bit, but I feel like often the conversation goes into areas I just can’t relate to. In autistic groups, well, I don’t really like to say this, but I find a pretty large fraction of fellow autistic people annoying. Even on weeks when I have a fair number of events that I’m involved with, I feel like I “go to events” rather than “have a social life.” Even when I talk to people, I feel like it’s okay as a one-off conversation, but don’t know how to build deeper relationships.

When I look outside myself, trying to see the world beyond my personal problems, I also feel depressed about the state of the world. I feel like Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, and their friends are destroying my country. I feel like we are missing the chance to keep this planet livable, and now maybe it’s too late. I think about the horrific abuse of animals in factory farms on the scale of tens of billions per year.

I’m not really doing anything to solve these problems or make the world a better place, but I feel like I have to at least try not to make them too much worse. I’m vegan, and I avoid driving when I can, usually bicycling or taking public transit. It’s not enough, CO2 levels are still rising, billions of chickens are still being slaughtered, etc, and more systemic solutions are needed, but I feel like even that bit of harm-reduction I do further alienates me from people, and makes me more of an awkward weirdo in social situations, bringing my own food to pizza parties and stuff. I feel scared of a lot of left-leaning activism, because a lot of social justice rhetoric isn’t good for me psychologically.

I have a hard time using “real-name” social media like Facebook, or online dating. I have a Facebook account but use it about once a year. I’ve never tried any online dating. I think a few women have expressed interest in me in the past that I was largely too oblivious to pick up at the time (e.g., a girl who mentioned that she like guys with eyes the same color as mine), but I find it really inconceivable that any woman would be attracted to me with my life in its current state. (Physically, I’m okay-ish, but at my age, well, my nasolabial folds are starting to get deeper, etc.)

I’m into some nerd stuff, but I feel like I can’t get into a lot of the “mainstream nerd�� interests like Star Wars, Marvel, Game of Thrones (I read the ASoIaF books, but only watched about one episode of the HBO show), etc. One mainstream nerd interest I enjoyed was some tabletop RPGs that I played with online friends a decade ago, but I feel like I don’t know how to get into a scene like that IRL.

I play too much multiplayer Mount & Blade: Warband (9 hours over the past 2 weeks, according to Steam), and really nothing else in my Steam library. People on a server there recognize me and sometimes talk to me, and I sometimes chat there too,  but I tend to shy away from forming real relationships. I always feel a little uncomfortable when people recognize me and want to talk at a personal level. I also look at a fair amount of hentai and furry stuff, and play some pornographic games. Sometimes laughing at jokes and stuff I see on Tumblr makes me feel happy for a time. The discussions are sometimes good too.

I feel that I’m in a lot of ways like the standard image of the Loser Bad Guy that I see in the media: the socially alienated guy who goes on a shooting rampage, the hateful misogynist incel, the isolated, downwardly mobile angry white male who posts Pepe-in-a-MAGA-hat memes on 4chan. I’m not planning on doing a shooting rampage or anything, but sometimes I just look at myself, and think: what a creep. What a waste of food and water and air. Sometimes I fantasize about getting into an accident that leaves me braindead so my organs can go to people who would make better use of them than I am.

I wish I could be more happy and grateful for the ways in which I am blessed. I am in decent health. I have enough to eat. I have a roof over my head. I am not locked in a battery cage where I can’t stretch my arms out. I am a straight able-bodied white male from an upper-middle class family living in a first-world country. Maybe I just have an unwarranted sense of entitlement, but I don’t know how to be happy with me life as it is.

Sometimes I just feel really angry at myself, for not being smarter, for not being more mature, for not taking advantage of more opportunities I’ve had in the past, for not being more motivated to change, for not doing more to help the people I could. Sometimes I just feel angry at myself for being angry at myself, for my own futile, unproductive anger over my own flaws.

I don’t really feel I talk honestly about this stuff with anyone I know. Sometimes I talk to my therapist, and I don’t lie to her, and she knows the core facts that I laid out here (difficulty with employment, relationships, etc), but I feel like I always shade toward something a little brighter than how I feel -- or, at least, how I feel at my worst moments. Maybe it’s just that my moments with her really aren’t my worst moments, so I’m not in the frame of mind to say how I actually do feel in my worst moments. With my dad, I feel like he thinks I’m just being overly dramatic and irrational. Maybe I am, but if so I don’t know how to be rational, at least consistently. With my mom… well, I usually don’t talk to her about this stuff. I feel like when she sees weakness, she goes in for an attack.

So, I thought I’d give the whole Tumblr sadposting thing a shot. Maybe baring myself like this will be mortifying, maybe cathartic, IDK. Try everything once, right?

[lexosaurus]

Do you ever feel lonely being asexual? I feel like none of my friends understand what it's like and it's so isolating and terrifying and I feel do broken. Have you ever felt this way? How do you handle it? Sorry if this is too personal.

Hey anon! I hope you’re okay! I also hope you’re ready for a long post because that’s what this turned out to be!

Firstly, you are NOT alone. I think every ace feels this way at somepoint or another. It’s super common, especially since there really aren’t many out-aces, there’s virtually no actually helpful resources out there for aces, and most people legit have never heard of asexuality or believe it to be something that can be cured either through sexual acts or medication. The fact of the matter is, that being asexual is very much an isolating experience and it can be really really hard to become comfortable with.

For me, I grew up in a conservative town in a liberal state. So while no one was outwardly aggressive towards lgbt people which gave me a false sense of security, coming out was ROUGH. I lost all of my friends to the point where in highschool I wasn’t allowed in a party that everyone else in my grade went to, I got in a massive fight with my mom and ended up having to move out for a few weeks (don’t worry, we’re super close now), and I ended up going back in the closet which only ended up with me being coerced into having sex a bunch until I finally reached my breaking point. I realized I had to figure this out or I was gonna lose it.

Moving away from that environment was probably one of the main ways that I was able to start feeling okay. I moved to a nearby city, dropped all my old friends, made new ones, joined new activities, etc etc. I made sure my new friends knew I was ace pretty much right away, but I didn’t really talk about it past the casual, “Yeah, I’m asexual. I’ll date anyone but I won’t have sex with anyone. It hurts my body and I don’t like it.” and then that was it. I mean, I answered the inevitable questions that followed as if no, they weren’t dumb questions or invasive, even if maybe deep down I thought they were. But other than that it was just a casual mention, made sure they were chill with it, and then moved on.

And knowing that my friends were totally 100% okay with me being ace was like the best thing ever. They don’t UNDERSTAND being asexual on a deep level, (not even now after 3 years of living together), but I don’t understand how their sexualities function on that deep level either. It’s a two way street. And sometimes with people I’ll even ask them, “Okay but how do you KNOW that you like like someone like that?” and then they’ll have to take a step back and be like, “Oh shit, I guess it’s just innate. Oh damn I’ve never thought about this. Huh. Wtf.” You know, just showing curiosity in their feelings and showing that it’s okay to ask “obvious” questions really does a lot.

But tbh, my friends and I now will talk music or memes way before we’ll talk lgbt stuff. And half my friends are lgbt too. I just chose new friends who I connected and related to on deep levels that had nothing to do with sexuality at all.

The second big thing I did, and this is gonna sound counter-productive, was I unfollowed every ace-centered blog on Tumblr. No joke. I went through my followers and unfollowed EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I found that a lot of ace blogs, even ace-positive blogs, made me feel good for a second when I saw those ace-positive posts, but in the long run they ended up being really detrimental. Thinking about asexuality like something that needs constant validation is not healthy, no matter how positively it’s presented.

I was in a place where being asexual wasn’t normal in my head and I needed to normalize it, not validate it. Because validating asexuality comes AFTER normalizing it, not the other way around. So I needed to not constantly think about it or read about it or see it all the time. I needed to just watch it casually in modern media (aka watch Bojack Horseman and Saiki K on Netflix), talk about it with REAL PEOPLE irl in casual conversation occasionally, and just in general start looking at it like something as normal and mundane as my brown hair or dark eyes. Asexuality isn’t special, it’s not cool, it’s not sad either, it’s just another normal thing that contributes to me as a person.

So now when a follower reblogs an ace-positive post, I feel good. Like truly good. Not that fleeting good that will disappear in 30 secs and remind me that “oh yeah, there are a lot of people out there that hate aces.” I just get an occasional reminder that, “Oh yeah! I’m ace! Nice! I’m dope af!” 

But being asexual isn’t like in my “top 5 qualities” list. I don’t write my bios and put my asexuality at the top of my “about me.” In fact, I don’t even think i wrote that im asexual in my about me on tumblr lol. It’s not that I don’t like asexuality, it’s just so normal to me I’m just kinda like “oh yeah im ace. i have dark eyes. and 10 fingers. surprise! Okay now back to the good stuff…”

Also, a bit of a sidetrack, but that “everyone’s valid” culture on tumblr is actually super toxic and not good. And so getting away from that is v helpful to your mental health.

The last thing that I did that helped me a lot was actually a bit of a coincidence but I met a girl irl who was my coworker who happened to be asexual too. We worked together for like a year, we totally vibed and started hanging out together a ton, and then one day out of the blue she was like “yeah I’m pretty sure I’m ace too.” It was super dope and just having that one person that I could relate to like that who I also truly enjoyed hanging out with was like a breath of fresh air.

Finding a fellow ace irl that you vibe with can be tough. She wasn’t the first ace that I’d met, but I tend to be a rather blunt person and the previous aces I’d met were all through my school’s lgbt club and they tended to be,,,sensitive,,,(told me i was ableist because I talk loudly and my loud voice was insensitive to their sensory disorders like bitch i’ve got hearing problems i can’t solve but you CAN buy earplugs so lol thank u next byeee),,,BUT I DIGRESS, chill aces are hard to find but finding that one person is so nice. But I should say I was pretty much comfortable with being ace at that point. That was kind of the cherry on top. So if this isn’t available to you, which it doesn’t sound like it is, that’s okay. There are other things you can do in the meantime.

Also, I do have to add that much of the phandom happens to be asexual. Idk how that happened but it did.  So if you ever wanna talk ace-things, I’m sure so many people on here would be DOWN to talk ace stuff. I’ve done it before, it’s fun. They’re all rlly nice.

So yeah that was pretty much how I got from a place where I was so defeated about being ace from pretty much everyone around me to now I’m totally comfortable and normal with it to the point where I have turned several homophobes into lgbt-supporters because “fuck, Lexx is so chill and we vibe so hard but she’s lgbt??? i really like her as a person but she’s bi and ace??? hhhhhh,..,,,,i guess lgbt people are cool idk man ya wow ok.” (Legit one of these homophobes sent me screenshots a few months back where some kid was calling me a slur like on instagram or something and he was like “What, you mad cuz she won’t sleep with you? Get a life.” it was sweet 😊)

[dateflight398]

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit Free

Dating Single Parents Reddit

Reddit Dating Advice

A few years ago, I started cracking jokes regularly about hot dads. Then when I met a charming, handsome dude with good taste in music and tacos at a secret Santa vinyl swap party last winter, I started dating one. Suddenly the jokes seemed a little creepy, and although I actively pumped the brakes on making them, those familiar with my menagerie of hot dad puns rose a skeptical eyebrow. I didn't seek out a hot dad, it just happened. Hotness aside, there's some unexpected things that happen when you date a single dad.

I've dated ('dated') divorced dudes before, which might be a little similar, but this relationship marks my first with a parent. When the relationship was brand-spankin' new, a lot of close friends lamented renditions of, 'I could never DATE A PARENT.' They echoed sentiments of kids being deal breakers. But I just figured, we're getting older. Everyone has a past and brings baggage into a relationship. And sometimes that baggage needs soccer lessons. Although, of course, I find my partner's child a deeply charming, fun, hilarious little human who doesn't qualify as 'baggage.' You know what I mean. A man willing and thrilled to take on the dad role shows commitment. It shows a patient man who gives a damn and has a loving heart. These are positive things. However, yeah..dating one of these men summons some unique situations sometimes.

Aug 27, 2018 Single dads have responsibilities, and that’s a sign that they’ll be able to handle a relationship maturely. Speaking of fatherly responsibilities, single dads have to take their kids to the Dentist, the Doctor, and other appointments. This means that it should be relatively easy to meet a single dad if you’re looking to date one. If you’re newly single, ease into it. Remember, you’re the grown-up here. “The decision to date is 100. Single Officers, hows your dating life? I am a Deputy that is currently working in the county jail. I was recently set up on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She was was really cute from her pictures and i was told she was a great person so i agreed. We met for dinner and I was actually having a good time.

He gets along great with your dad

I already knew I was dating a sociable, nice guy, and my dad is the same way, but I don't know how I failed to predict this easy bond. It's kinda unbelievably cute to watch them nerd out on fatherhood together.

He moves easily in different social situations

If he has to make pleasant conversation with other parents during tae kwan do, he can flow harmoniously through your old coworker's new girlfriend's potluck.

Finding tiny clothes in your clean laundry

Or..not even that tiny. Just not yours and not big enough to be his. I recently unearthed a red T-shirt that was definitely not mine in a batch of clean laundry I did at bae's house. Granted, I'm a fairly petite person and my boyfriend's child is seven. Even though I modeled it for jokes above, I resisted the urge to actually don and sport it around. That seemed too far.

Reexamining past relationships

Every situation is different, but my boyfriend is still on amicable terms with his child's mother, who also lives near us. Matters are so peachy that she even shared me on a Google Calendar she, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend share re: who has chief parenting duties when (it's half-and-half, really). This kind of amazing camaraderie made me really look at past relationships I'd previously kept duct-taped in a box and tossed the way-back part of the closet. I'd like to say this exercise made me resurrect toxic romantic relationships as healthy friendships, but that hasn't quite happened yet (and with some specific ones, I honestly can't see that ever happening). More than anything, I think it's helped me recognize the hard fact that all humans have faults and, in general, good intentions. Harmony can exist with a little work. (Though to be fair, I can't take credit for the calendar. That's all his superstar ex's handiwork and maturity.)

Realizing people sure like to make fun of/talk about dads

I actually muted #dadbod from Twitter and had to fake a million smiles for people trying to relate to me by bringing the meme up IRL. Also very tired of the dad joke thing (which is real, sure, but still not a phenom I care to discuss for the 999th time).

There's far less invented drama

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit Free

When a person has to care for another human, they simply have less emotional and physical energy to invent snafus or hang-ups. Nothing is a big deal unless it's an actual Big Deal. He has developed a wisdom to help him identify the difference between the two, and if you haven't already done the same, hanging with him long enough will be educational.

You have an incredibly patient partner

Someone who had to teach a tiny, indignant child how to master the toilet isn't gonna flip when you need to take nine breaks hiking back out of a canyon.

You save money

I've never considered my income sizable until I started thinking of the glaring fact that I don't have to split it with anyone. Since single dads still have to, you know, fund their child, there isn't always a ton of extra dough to fund flippant outings to fancy cocktail bars or jump onto tubing trips you didn't even want to attend in the first place. It inspires you to be more mindful of your own spending habits. As such—

He's wildly creative with cheap and free activities

And knows every single dope park worth visiting in town.

It forces you to address your own insecurities..

So when the kid asks, 'Why are you wearing lipstick?' You can actually think to yourself, '..Yeah. Why am I doing that?' And in a more serious sense, it forces you to dissect immature impulses. Like when you're running late to meet a friend because you're stuck in a child-stuffed lantern parade one town over, you're not allowed to bitch and force your S.O. to help you summon an Uber to pick you up, STAT—because he's too busy pushing the kid on a skateboard inside the festivities to indulge your princess agenda. It makes you take a more discerning look at this princess agenda and brainstorm ways to be more reasonable in general.

..and to be an adult yourself.

I was playing with the kid at a playground near my boyfriend's apartment and when an authority figure from the attached daycare came out to ask if we had permission to be there, I immediately turned to the child. Then I realized, 'Oh fuck. I'm supposed to answer here.' I've always been a touch afraid of authority but knew I had to handle the current situation. It turned out fine, by the way.

Conversely, it means you can't let jealousy get to you with exes. I used to let envy blind me badly in the past—even if a boyfriend managed to remain congenial with an ex, the whole bond made me feel rattled as hell. Now that I'm with a person who's ex will be around in a close way forever and ever amen, I have to be OK with that. Which is the adult thing to do anyway. We can't let ourselves feel threatened for no viable reason.

He knows the world doesn't revolve around him

This can be a difficult quality to find in this world of overgrown Peter Pans on the hunt for their own Mother figure—a person to handle all the less savory household duties, remind them to go to the doctor, praise them constantly, hinge their daily or long-term plans on what Pan wants or says he needs. This situation is different, because he already takes on that role for his child while still taking decent care of himself. Playing Mother to a series of adult Peter Pans got old, so this kind of attitude is a very welcome change of pace.

He is deliberate

Since there's a kid involved, he isn't trying to be all willy-nilly with decisions in life—both those that do and don't concern you. That's pretty hot, TBH.

You can dodge responsibility for your music choices

When 'Uptown Funk' happens six times in a row, I can blame that on the kid (which is true). Same with Katy Perry (which might be an extrapolation or even just my idea).

It's hard to gross him out

Possibly one of the best treats of dating a dad. If your cat got secretly sick and he steps barefoot into a pile of barf, he doesn't love it but he understands that happens (probably because he has experience direct skin-to-someone else's-barf contact before). He also doesn't panic about periods or farts or other body stuff.

Dating Single Parents Reddit

His place is gonna be messy..forever

Cleaning is one of my favorite forms of therapy, likely because if I'm in a highly cluttered space physically, that transfers mentally and makes me feel like a stressed-out trashcan. Very early in this relationship, I suggested I help my boyfriend with an intense cleaning sesh of his kitchen. We had a lot of wine and played loud punk and soon it was gleaming. This lasted about 36 hours. With a child and full-time job and other luxurious duties such as bathing oneself and staying fed (AND keeping the kid fed), cleaning falls to the wayside. Besides not having enough time to clean, kids are just miraculously mess-inducing machines. Tireless ones. As such, I try to see this situation as an opportunity to relax my OCD tendencies and work to become a more patient, understanding person. Of course my apartment is much cleaner—because I only have to account for me. It isn't fair to hold him to the same standard.

You learn how to relinquish some control

I recognize I have some control freak tendencies, relationships included. A lot of life is outside our control and dating someone with a child is a very effective reminder that no matter what, we can't always call the shots. We have to be adaptable. As such, I waited until my boyfriend thought it would be OK to introduce me to his kid. And even then, it's not like I leapt from a cake and shouted, 'I AM YOUR NEW MOM!!!!!!!!!!!' Not at all. I'm still just a buddy who kicks it from time to time to join in on eating pizza or playing 'balloon' or the occasional ride home from school. When and if my boyfriend wants to explain my role in his life to his child, that's not really up to me. It's a discussion he and I can have, but it's not my endeavor to pilot.

You get a bit of perspective about your own age..

It's fun to make fun of Oldsters until you realize you are now one. This is highlighted by the frequency at which you offer anecdotes children don't want to hear, always marked with the beginning, 'When I was a kid..' They don't care, probably. They just don't need to hear about how your lack of skills with Donkey Kong at age seven feeds into your lack of skills with Mario Kart Racing at age 27. They're just stoked to authentically beat an adult.

..and your general level of importance.

Not to say my boyfriend treats me like I'm not important; He treats me with total kindness and respect. It's just that I have dated people in the past who put me on a pedestal, and you know what? The oxygen gets pretty thin up there. Although I'm sure it's meant as an appreciative gesture, it's unrealistic and puts a lot of pressure on the person sitting on top of it. Dating a parent, though, means no matter what, there is always going to be someone more important than I am in the mix. And I am so so OK with that.

There's no room for jealousy

If a sitter falls through last-minute, that means reservations gotta be canceled and dinner gets moved to the living room and the main dish will probably be pizza. You can't take it personally if homie is late because his child's mother got a flat tire so he had to go help out. You also can't get suspicious when he's on the phone with her a lot. These are complicated waters to navigate and if you're even to dip a few toes beneath the surface, you gotta be able to resign yourself to faith and trust—two things that ought to be present in any grown-ass relationship anyway. It's just here, it's especially non-negotiable.

🤑 Best Coupons: FREE TRIAL + 10% OFF. ⏳ Last Update: 12 Jun 2021. 👤 Editor: Sherina Humairoh. SilverSingles is a special dating platform for singles over the age of 50. Users can meet fellow individuals, share the same passion and adventure dreams. Silver singles coupon. Coupons.com Mobile App. Save $100s with free paperless grocery coupons at your favorite stores! Link your store loyalty cards, add coupons, then shop and save. Get App; Promo Codes Promo Codes. Shop online with coupon codes from top retailers. Get Sears coupons, Best Buy coupons, and enjoy great savings with a Nordstrom promo code. If youre over 50 and single, meeting someone special is easier than ever before thanks to SilverSingles.com. Browse through thousands of photos of other singles, chat with those who interest you via chat rooms and instant messaging, and enjoy this prime of your life while you look for love!

Reddit Dating Advice

Shit doesn't have to be so serious

I never babysat growing up and none my nieces and nephews live close by, so I don't actually have much experience hanging out with kids. The first time I met my boyfriend's child, I was 900 times more nervous than meeting any adult. What were we supposed to do or talk about? 'Seriously, whatever,' he instructed. After a while, the nerves dissolved and we were playing a stirring game of 'balloon,' which entails whacking a balloon back and forth between two or three people in a living room. Extra rules vary, but usually Taylor Swift is a necessary soundtrack. Things just don't have to be so serious in the sense that kids are very fun and it's almost astounding how quickly you can reverse back to such an easily entertained brain space. It's freeing to launch into some weird accent and spike a deflating balloon in the air without fear of being judged. It scratches a specific existential itch.

There's no ego

Because guess who makes the weird accent and plays balloon when you're not around? Conversely, though— Gaydia gay dating site reviews.

You can have serious conversations without scaring each other

Although I'm sure there are exceptions, most of the time when a single dad is dating, he isn't just screwing around. It's surprisingly refreshing to sink into a relationship and have the comfortable freedom to discuss individual big-scale hopes and goals. In other relationships, talking about the future at all can often be exactly the catalyst to send Pan off packing for a return and permanent trip to Neverland.

You retain a lot of your own time

Often, especially in new relationships, it can be hard to balance love stuff and friends. https://dateflight398.tumblr.com/post/658104267855577088/catholic-dating-app-free. Assuming you're in a situation with split custody in a local setting, that means half the time you get to yourself. It helps slow things down early on and maintain other hobbies, tinkerings, friendships, and such in your own life. It's the antithesis to smothering and fosters vital independence.

Images: TriStar Picturs; Giphy(23); Beca Grimm

[heardrpc-blog]

SECRETS MASTERLIST

i think we’re all tired of having our characters have the same dirty little secrets. so here are some realistic secrets you can use for your characters. i am putting an overall trigger and mature warning on this. they’re in the sections of: lighthearted, hardcore, family, involving others, criminal, embarrassing, sexual, romantic, and other..

scared your secret isn’t creative - change it up! it mentions drugs? change it to sex or alcohol. something mentions family? turn that into a romantic secret! the options are endless if you change details.

lighthearted: these secrets aren’t very harmful, but they’re still secrets. they’re for characters you can’t exactly imagine being bad human beings on the side.

hardcore: these are very hardcore secrets. these are your dirty, life ruining secrets. these could be the ones to get someone accost from their friend group and family.

family: these are family secrets, etc. these are the things nobody outside of the home is supposed to see. 

involving others: these are secrets you could request a character for or get another character involved with the secret. these are any group secrets, etc. THIS HAS SUBSECTIONS OF ROMANTIC & PLATONIC.

criminal: these are for those types that love to do illegal things. there definitely are illegal things in the hardcore and maybe some other sections, but this is where the real root of illegal activity is.

embarrassing: these are for the personal dirty little secrets. these are mostly harmless, but embarrassing. this is more for those who still have silly little habits rather than life ruining secrets.

sexual: this is anything involving sex, sexuality, kinks, and everything in between. this is definitely by far the most nsfw. 

other: this is anything that doesn’t fit into the above categories.

LIGHTHEARTED:

i cheated on every test i’ve ever taken.

i cry out of fear of going to hell every night.

i troll people online constantly. i have nothing better to do.

i never give my real name at any stores/starbucks/etc.

i tell people i donate all the time, but i ever have.

i cry whenever i have to leave my pets.

i inherited a lot of money, but haven’t told anyone.

i make fake ouija boards that move on their own.

i pretend not to speak english constantly to avoid being bothered.

i go to car shops constantly & take cars out on a test drive for fun.

i have to google how to do everything for my job.

i read peoples texts over their shoulder constantly.

i dropped out of college, and never told my parents.

anytime i do drugs i pretend its my first time doing them so people will pay attention to me

i work in IT & know everyone’s secrets because i can see what they do at work.

i lie to people about what i’m doing all the time so i seem more interesting.

i only do basic courtesy things when non-strangers are around (hold doors open, say thank you, etc)

i lie about my first kiss to make it seem more excited.

i pretend to be colorblind to seem more interesting.

i buy 2 movie tickets so the clerk won’t think i’m going alone.

i cry constantly over problems that aren’t even mine. i’m scared i’m too soft for life sometime.

i text people in the middle of the night & say its because i can’t sleep, but i’m really just scared they died

i can never “stop” in the middle of a fight and decide to talk later because i’m petrified of the person or myself dying in between now and then

i lie about voting because i’m scared i won’t know how to work the machine.

i run an anonymous tumblr blog about something i’d never tell anyone irl.

i pretend to like things all the time just because other people do. 

i got plastic surgery, but haven’t told anyone because i want them to think its natural

i’m starting to form religious beliefs, but i’m scared my atheist friends won’t approve.

i go to aa/na meetings to make friends. i don’t excessively drink or do drugs.

i go to a pet psychic whenever my pet is in a mood.

HARDCORE:

i know the killer in a murder, but i’m too scared to say.

i pretended to have a mental illness to fit in.

i forged my transcripts to get my current job.

i accidentally killed someone by not properly fixing their carbon monoxide detector like i said i would.

i tried to kill myself. i’m blackmailing my parents/ex-friend/ex-partner/other family & have been for two years.

i took the fall (or had someone take the fall) or a crime i/they didn’t commit.

i run an anonymous hate site/hate blog/gossip blog.

i ratted out a criminal so i wouldn’t get in trouble for the drugs they sold me.

i found a dead body when i was a kid, but didn’t know it till later in life.

i was the person to clean my dead friends things & found out he was addicted to drugs/a murderer/etc & never told anyone.

i knew someone was going to kill themselves, and didn’t stop them.

i paid someone to beat this girl/guy/person up because i hate them.

i falsely accused someone of assault.

i lie about everything all the time. everyone thinks i live a completely life then i do. i lie about my likes, interests, hobbies, and history. i don’t want to seem boring.

i gambled every cent of my savings away.

i tell people my family are very rich, elite people but they’re actually drug addicts.

while everyone else was going through normal teenage drinking rebellions - i was extremely violent.

i’m 200k in debt.

i break into hotel rooms to sleep some because i’m homeless. 

i have a mental illness, but completely lie about it to my friends and family. i’m seen as someone who is strong and capable, and i don’t want people to know i’m really not okay.

i pretend to be blind so people will give me their seat on the train.

i go to random peoples funerals constantly for the free food. if people ask - i make up some vague connection to them based on what i see around their funeral.

i tell people that my mom died from cancer. i just don’t talk to her anymore. i’m ashamed at how awful she is.

i found out one of my friends died. so the first thing i did was go to their house, into their room, and stole a bunch of their stuff. 

i pretend to be sick and hurt all the time to get the attention of those around me.

i started something as a prank, and its gotten out of control. i spray painted weird symbols on the road, and now everyone in town thinks it has something to do with the random murder on the other side of town.

i lie about being wealthy so i can hang out with rich people. i use buy resold fancy clothes online.

i stole money from a homeless person.

FAMILY: 

i pretend to have religious beliefs because i want my parents to love me.

i didn’t tell my parents i’m in recovery from drugs/alcoholism.

nobody talks about my relative that is special needs. we pretend they don’t exist.

i want my family dead.

i found photos of my parent(s)/sibling having sex and put them on the dinner table during Christmas for everyone to see.

i almost let my younger sibling get killed by setting them on a ledge of our balcony. i caught them moments before they fell. 

my parents had me drop off my sibling at a fire station. i’ve never heard from them again. i barely remember them.

my parent is a serial killer. i know. i haven’t told anyone.

my father committed a hit and run when i was in the car. this was ten years ago. i never told anyone.

my distant family is in a cult. i didn’t find out until a year ago when i pushed to ask more about my non-immediate family.

my dad/mom is gay. i caught them with someone of the same sex. my other parent has no idea.

my parents don’t know i’m gay/bisexual/a lesbian/pansexual/etc.

one of my parents is living with a double life. i found out about their other life, family, kids, etc. i haven’t told them i know, and haven’t contacted their other family.

my mom shot my dad. i pretend to not have seen her cleaning off the gun.

my uncle was accused of rape, and left the country. 

my grandfather didn’t die years after my grandmother. he died two minutes after he shot her, and then shot himself.

i saw my mom had a kink party. i ran out before she saw me.

my parents used to be drug dealers. i found out when my friends parents wouldn’t let their kids hang out with me....because their parents bought drugs from me.

my parents killed their animals growing up when they annoyed them.

i wish my family was less perfect. i feel bad when they talk and i can’t relate at all.

i constantly feel in debt to my mom. i was an awful child.

INVOLVING OTHERS:

i catfish people frequently.

i check my partners phone when they’re in the shower.

i made my best friend/partner hate me by acting awful because i knew they’d leave me first.

i will never love anyone as much as my first love. they’re second best.

i cheated on a past partner.

i’m cheating on my current partner.

i only hate my enemy because people expect me to now. 

i keep all major secrets from my partner so they don’t leave me.

i hate my partner. they’re a pain on my life, and drive me nuts constantly.

my best friend is a compulsive liar. i just ignore it because i love her so much.

i know my best friend runs a hate/gossip blog. as long as she doesn’t talk about me - i don’t care.

i only stay with my current partner because i don’t want to be on the dating market again.

i stopped dating with someone because they wouldn’t hold the door open for me.

you know how when talking about best friends you talk about which friend would help you bury a body? my best friend kept that secret.

i’m secretly unhappy with all of my friends success. i feel left behind.

i really dislike most of my friends. they’re all annoying. i just need people to talk to so i deal with them.

my partner buys so much useless shit then forgets about it. i sell it all online.

i have sex with my best friend.

i’m secretly in love with someone else.

i’m crushing on my best friend super hard. i don’t know how to tell them.

i love my straight best friend.

CRIMINAL:

i used a prostitute to lose my virginity.

i do drugs.

i hired a hit on someone i hate.

i steal non-necessity stuff constantly from stores despite being able to pay.

i committed a hit and run.

i hack for fun. i don’t do anything malicious. i just like finding out secrets.

i broke out of prison.

i steal from grocery stores all the time. i do the self checkout, click ‘cancel’, and walk out.

once my friend was speeding 80 in a 65. when i got pulled over - i forced myself to throw up so he’d think my friend driving was speeding because i was sick. we got out of the ticket.

when i was a kid i used to steal cars - drive around them for a bit, and then just dump them somewhere. they almost always got found.

i’ve stolen from every national park i can.

i used to rob graves.

i embezzled a few million dollars.

i’ve never paid property tax.

the only reason i have a “normal” job is to cover up my illegal job.

i’ve stolen from a church.

EMBARRASSING:

i go to a psychic for every decision, but don’t want to tell anyone about it.

i’m scared of the dark.

i spend all day on neopets/gaia online/etc.

i cried when club penguin shut down.

in my head i still pretend inanimate objects talk to me.

i still run up the stairs whenever i turn a light downstairs off.

i sleep with stuffed animals because i’m scared not to.

SEXUAL:

i run a very popular nsfw porn blog.

i’m addicted to masturbating/porn

i pretend to have sex all the time, but haven’t in a year.

i’ve participated in a glory hole multiple times.

i fuck people constantly for validation that i’m pretty/handsome/great.

i post nudes on reddit all the time so people will send me compliments.

my parents tried to hire a hooker for me when they found out i was asexual.

i go to kink parties semi-frequently for fun.

i’ve hooked up with more people than i can count.

i’ve only slept with one person, but i feel everyone it is more.

[everlastingfable]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. I was tagged by @kingofthewilderwest

LAST:

1. Drink: water... this post reminded me that I did not drink anything for the past 10 hours

2. Phone call: with my mom like 3 days ago

3. Text message: from my dad. idk how to cook....

4. Song you listen to: I guess when I was playing Heart of Courage on the piano. For an actual song, the last song on my spotify is Centuries from fob but I fell asleep like 3 songs before that so idk

5. Time you cried: can’t remember

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: yes although I wasn’t aware the first one was a date until after 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve never kissed anyone so no

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: I don’t think so..... 

10. Been depressed: yeah

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’m not old enough to drink either.... no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 

12. red

13. gold

14. black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: no

17. Laughed until you cried: yes. thank you lance and kaltenecker that was a delight

18. Found out someone was talking about you: no

20. Found out who your friends are: uh no?

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I did the math 94%

23. Do you have any pets: no :( I miss my bunny

24. Do you want to change your name: sometimes, but idk what to change it to

25. What did you do for your last birthday: uhh pack to move out of my dorm the next day, reorganize my comics, had an unpleasant/pleasant surprise of cookies from my family

26. What time do you wake up: I’ve been waking up at 6 the last few days but usually around 8

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping

28. Name something you can’t wait for: httyd3, vld season 5, thanksgiving break, winter break, when I finally have some time to read this book I bought

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 8 days ago?

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I guess like the motivation to be in school? Like idk I’m so tired I just wanna graduate and get this over with I’m just not interested in college. tbh I didn’t really want to go I just did because it’s expected of me and if I want the chance to have a non-retail job I kinda have to get a degree

31. What are you listening to right now: the keyboard clacking sound

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I don’t think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the voltron fandom always gets on my nerves. Personally, probably just my current need to like figure out who I am? Like this is so annoying what’s my sexual orientation? That’s something I’m constantly thinking about and it just bothers me because I keep switching around between completely and totally ace to possibly hetero, maybe bi??? girls seem cool idk I can’t ignore it and there’s also the fact that I read this one fic of child!keith being autistic and that’s thrown me into a loop because I relate to those events so much but I’m not... or I don’t think I am. Even then obviously it’s not something that causes an issues for me but I just want answers

34. Most visited website: tumblr, facebook, youtube, a03

35. Mole/s: uh there’s one on my thigh. google isn’t answering my question if moles can just be a dot like you don’t feel it it’s just a dif color on my skin

36. Mark/s: there’s a very faded scar on my left leg from when I slipped on algae and fell into a river, and another faded scar on my right foot when I stepped on glass

37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a writer at one point, also a chef, and a graphic designer

38. Hair color: dark brown

39. Long or short hair: long. I kinda want to try short hair but that’s something I’ve never done before and I’m scared I’d hate it. I don’t want to wait for it to grow out if I do

40. Do you have a crush on someone: irl, maybe?? fictional characters tend to be more of squishes: keith, matt, hunk, shiro when he’s not unknowingly sabotaging the team

41. What do you like about yourself: haha

42. Piercings: no

43. Blood type: O+

44. Nicknames: I think frosty is the only one that’s ever stuck. There’s been a few that people have tried to give me but they didn’t work

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: taurus and I hate how everything about it is food

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: voltron 

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: do wisdom teeth count?

52. Hair dyed in different color: I want to but I’m afraid I’ll hate it

53. Sport: no

55. Vacation: so many places tbh. I want to go to the northwest of the US (Seattle, Portland, Vancouver, I only know popular cities...) I also really want to visit Europe SO BADLY especially the Norwegian area, also South America I want to see the Amazon rain forest and the Galapagos Islands

56. Pair of trainers: yes. idk how to answer this

MORE GENERAL: 

57. Eating: what is this asking? am I eating right now? no. what do I want to eat? I have a uncrustables pbj sandwich sitting in front of me I’m waiting for it to defrost. I also have taiwanese sausages I’m waiting to defrost and cook. what’s my favorite food? like any variations of sushi, particularly poke bowls

58. Drinking: yoooo the only good part about the holidays is egg nog. I’m probably gonna finish the half-gallon I bought two days ago today

59. I’m about to: keep answering these. I should also study for a test tomorrow

62. Want: money? to not be tired? to have some free time where I’m not stressed about what I’ll have to do later? 

63. Get married: no but I do want to organize a wedding. seems fun

64. Career: idk man. right now I’m just going with my dream from high school which was to work at dreamworks but idk how

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs, but I feel like a lot of hugs I’ve gotten just don’t feel nice

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: majority if not all of my friends are shorter than me and I’ve gotten used to that to the point where I cannot deal with people taller than me

68. Older or younger: same thing. I’m usually the youngest so just being older than people is ???? also I think being the youngest prevents me from comparing myself to others? because they’re older so of course they would be “ahead” of me in life. so less stress

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I’m weak for arms

71. Sensitive or loud: ??

72. Hook up or relationship: no

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: is this in terms of relationships I’m so confused. I guess just platonically, both? I’d like to be friends with someone who’s willing to do crazy things because that’s usually exciting, but at the same time someone who knows when to restrain themselves

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes

77. Turned someone down: I think

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: maybe?? it’s more likely I just upset them

80. Had your heart broken: no

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: no

83. Fallen for a friend: idk

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: no

85. Miracles: mmmm

86. Love at first sight: not really. It just doesn’t seem plausible to me

87. Santa Claus: sure

88. Kiss on the first date: for me personally, no

OTHER: 

90. Current best friend name: I can’t just have one best friend.... peach & percy

91. Eye color: they’ve been described as black holes before

92. Favorite movie: httyd obvs

I tag: @peachdoxie, @lastronaut, @zhe-lazy-fox, @tanyasm10, @stratoc, @palions, @emkayohh, @frxstguardian, @howdomaddie, anyone else who sees this and wants to do it. 

[dasaene-archive]

This isn’t a new concept and idk if anyone is really interested, but I wanted to talk about my friends’, teachers’, or acquaintances’ types since I thought it might be fun to share my impressions of all of them. I’ve moved around a lot since my mom is in the military but have only learned about MBTI for two or three years, so even if I have met every type irl I can only really talk about the ones I remember.

ISTJ (my mom, 1 acquaintance)

h i l a r i o u s (without even trying to be)

Actually?? Gets things done??? Without saying anything??????

Tired. Tired all the dang time.

Ready to kill at any moment

Dog people

Always has to be doing something. If they’re not doing something, they’re bored.

Would die for their families

INFJ (my dad, I don’t think I’ve met any INFJs irl besides him and myself)

Done with life

Bad social anxiety

N E R D  N E R D  N E R D

Literally has a master’s degree in social work so like if you want a counselor he’s got the qualifications besides just being an INFJ

Thinks gender roles are stupid (he’s an emotional stay-at-home dad with long hair)

Took the test in college and got INTJ (lol relatable)

ISTP (my sister, 1 acquaintance)

Bored every day of their lives

Loves food

RBF. Like, never-ending soul-crushing RBF.

Acquaintance will not stop fixing up his dang truck (how many more mods can you do, man?? Need more lights????? MORE PAINT??????)

Everyone in freshman year had a crush on this truck-lovin fool

Has an excellent taste in fashion

Messy bedrooms

Arguing with family 24/7

Secretly hopeless romantics

INTP (friend)

Awkward but likes to observe people

Will talk about the weirdest crap with you w/o judgment

Went to two STEM camps and one band camp this summer

Likes languages and instruments but never has the motivation to learn them (wow same)

WHAT ARE FEELINGS

Will speak up if something’s off

High-key space nerd

Everyone wants to be her or be with her like seriously how does she do it while still being so awkward

INFP (3 friends)

Cringe city but generally fun to be around anyway

Loves to take care of their friends

Dog people (animal people in general)

Anime nerds. All of them.

Super creative procrastinators (one writes and one draws)

Will fite you if you disagree with (a.k.a. insult) their beliefs (I hate arguing w them tbh)

Nostalgic

Internal screaming

All three of them give off pretty different vibes (idk if it’s the Fi?? enneagram differences????)

ISFP (friend)

So?? Chill??????

Sinnamon roll

Everybody has a crush on her and everyone is heartbroken bc she lets them down so gently

Always hanging out with people and going outside

Has huge collections of stuff (teapots, duck plushies, figurines, onesies, it never ends)

Has a more eclectic taste in pets (snakes, hermit crabs, fish)

Phone is  a l w a y s  dead, like girl pls find a charger and an outlet

Sometimes we won’t text in like half a year but when we talk again it’s like nothing’s changed

ISFJ (2 friends)

One is a theatre nerd

Has arbitrary obsessions

One random event when they were 3 yrs old must have really changed them

Loves their phones

S m o l, like really really small

Secret meme queens

High-key hopeless romantics who love deeply but rarely

Hard workers and volunteers

ENTP (1 teacher, 1 friend[?])

The English teacher everybody hates (super annoying and disorganized)

...has a good sense of humor tho

Supervises the speech and debate team (and I’m sure if my friend[?] went to a school that had one of those she’d wreck everybody)

Very proud of their ancestry (one is Celtic, one is the descendant of Charlemagne)

Flirty and always lookin for love

B U S Y

Salty

ESTJ (1 teacher, 1 acquaintance)

The English teacher everybody hates (super meticulous and organized)

Rule is law, and unfortunately for you I really do like making my own rules

DO NOT ENGAGE, YOU WILL GET REKT

Loves to read

Silly. Like, for someone so serious, they are jokesters.

Pretends not to take things personally but has deep emotional capabilities

Too nosy for their own good

Love-hate relationship I have with them. Mutual respect.

ENFJ (friend)

Genuinely nice and motivated to help people

Tries to get everyone to focus on group projects

Twin is the ISTP acquaintance who won’t stop working on his truck. They ride ATVs together.

Also twins with flipped complementary function stacks? Nice

Seems airheaded, is really not

She has long curly hair. Idk this seemed notable to mention

Competitive but will be really warm to you while trying to crush you

Looks introverted at first glance, but is just kinda chill when not in study mode

ESFJ (1 friend, 1 acquaintance)

One is pretty stereotypical, the other is a nerdy goofball

Actually both hate popularity and being fake so I guess they both hopped onto the individuality train in terms of who they hang out with

Acquaintance is a Southern Belle™ and is dating truck-lovin’ ISTP (dang this dude is e v e r y w h e r e, you’d think he is an ESTP but no)

Nerdy goofball is addicted to collecting pins and drinking cherry slushies

Have that “XD” kinda Ne humor

Don’t like to talk about themselves a lot but love people

Do really appreciate a good selfie tho

ENFP (friend)

Flirt. Like, dangerously flirty considering she’s dating someone

Uses :3c ironically so much that it’s become unironic

Distinctive fashion that goes from girly to androgynous in 2 seconds flat, but is always presentable

Reads bad fanfiction for fun

Makes fun of my dad’s knobbly knees

Determined to achieve her dreams

Makes a good first impression on adults, really is just a depressed memer

INTJ (acquaintance)

Quiet, but will laugh boisterously at dark humor

Left a note in my yearbook at the end of the year saying that when I first started at that school he thought I was a horrible pretentious jerk but then he realized I was a quirky but intelligent weirdo and he wished me well wherever I was moving

Like no joke that was the best thing I’ve ever read written about me I was laughing no one was that honest with me in that dang school and I didn’t even know the guy very well

WILL call you out if you do or say something wrong

A ~mystery~

Probably had a silent existential crisis every day at lunch

ESFP (acquaintance)

L O U D

so,, emotional??

Popular as crap. Like, really popular

Because he’s popular drama follows him wherever he goes

Voted Best Dancer in the yearbook superlatives every year bc boi this dude will not stop dancing

Used to have that Sokka haircut. You know the one

Bites his tongue a lot bc he has so many opinions but isn’t ready to stop the nice vibes ya know

Protective of his mom and younger siblings

I probably met an ESTP and ENTJ at some point in my life buuut no one notable comes to mind so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[remembertae]

Brockmire “Road Trip”

(Photo: IFC)

S1 E6, May 3, 2017

WRITTEN BY: Amanda Sitko

SYNOPSIS

Minor League baseball team owner Jules James and her not-so-serious boyfriend/ballpark announcer Jim Brockmire are hanging out at the small town bar she owns. She can’t believe that after so many years of taking great care to not get pregnant, she is now knocked up. Fetus father Brockmire is ready to fork over cash for an abortion, but Jules isn’t sure that’s what she wants He fully acknowledges the choice is hers, but asks for some odds. She says she’s 60/40 in favor of having the baby, which surprises him. She asks him to seriously consider whether or not he could be a dad.

While playing a game of catch with his teenage assistant Charles, Brockmire asks the young man, “You think I’d be a good father?” Charles quickly responds, “You would be a terrible father, don’t do that.” Meanwhile at the bar, Jules quietly asks the (unnamed) bartender if she’s ever had an abortion. The young lady responds that she has, and relates a rather frank and disturbing story about having to travel long-distance to Pittsburgh for the procedure, where she encountered violent protesters; however, she asserts that she regrets nothing. Jules reveals she is pregnant, but when she starts getting into personal details, the bartender encourages her to call a friend instead.

Jules later visits her friend Diana, a mother of three. Diana is excited for Jules’s pregnancy, telling her this is her “sign” that she’s ready to let go of the past and settle down. When Diana’s youngest wakes up crying, mom encourages an uncomfortable Jules to hold the baby.

We then see Brockmire seeking more advice from baseball player/father-of-thirteen Pedro Uribe, who speaks glowingly of fatherhood. When Brockmire sees Jules later, he’s excited about the prospect of raising a kid. But when Jules tells him she definitely wants an abortion, he heaves a sigh of relief and thanks God. The two make plans to visit a clinic in Pittsburgh.

Jules and Brockmire meet with an abortion provider, who is put off by their relentless snarky joking. When the doctor explains that Jules qualifies for a medical abortion, she bristles at the thought of swallowing a pill and asks if she can snort it instead. The doctor tells her to please refrain from making cocaine references in his presence. He asks her to ingest the mifepristone right away and the misoprostol later. When she takes the first pill, much slapstick-y gagging ensues, but she does eventually swallow it.

Later at the hotel, Jules and Brockmire are ready to “pre-game” her abortion. While she mixes drinks in the bathroom, he snorts a couple lines of what he assumes to be coke but, alas, he has unwittingly snorted her misoprostol. They meet with the frustrated doctor again. He imagines Brockmire might experience some of the same symptoms Jules will experience when she aborts, but can’t say for sure since this hasn’t happened before. He gives Jules another pill, and again she gags multiple times before actually swallowing it.

The next morning, Brockmire and Jules lie in bed, both wrecked from a rough night of medical abortion symptoms but otherwise relieved. She thanks him for being so thoroughly supportive throughout her brief pregnancy. She says she wants something positive to come out of this situation. Later we see that they’ve invited all thirteen of Uribe’s children to town so they can see their father during baseball season.

KEEPING IT REAL QUOTIENT

I don’t care much for this show, but there’s a lot to love about this abortion episode. For starters, I really dig Jules and Brockmire’s dynamic throughout the story. This is how I imagine pro-choice grown-ups dealing with an unplanned yet not entirely unwelcome pregnancy. Though not necessarily a maternal figure, it makes sense that Jules — an entrepreneur who’s aggressively promoting this sleepy small town’s baseball team — could see herself tackling motherhood with that same gusto. But in the end, even after holding her friend’s “cute little fat angel baby,” she just didn’t feel it. Brockmire does everything he can to support her, and in just the right way. When she tells him she’s leaning toward keeping the baby, he replies in his typical, colorful fashion, “I understand. I gave up my vote at ejaculation.” He doesn’t blab about her situation to anyone, even when he’s seeking advice from friends. Other than accidentally snorting her abortion pill (which mainly upsets her because he’d greedily snorted both lines), he puts her desire and comfort first. His going through the abortion symptoms with her perfectly symbolizes his surprising capacity for empathy.

The way they deal with this problem together makes for a funny and surprisingly sweet episode, but it’s also refreshing to see this depiction of a fetus father type who isn’t quite so rare in real life as TV would have us believe. I’ve watched a lot of abortion episodes and there is this tendency to create drama by placing the fetus father at odds with the pregnant woman and whatever choice she is making. Way less often do we see the guy say to her, “I’ll support whatever you want,” which is exactly what my boyfriend said to me when I was getting ready to terminate an unplanned pregnancy. Of course this is not everyone’s real life experience, but it seems underrepresented on TV.

But my favorite thing about this abortion tale is that magnificent scene with Jules and the bartender.  The young woman begins her tale by explaining how difficult it was for her to get an abortion. Unable to visit her local Planned Parenthood, which had recently been firebombed, she had to pay for a round-trip bus ticket to Pittsburgh, plus the cost of the surgery, plus the cost of three nights at a hotel. These are the sort of real life barriers that prevent people who live in small towns from accessing abortion, and that is something TV shows almost never discuss when they talk about termination. I’m extremely pleased that so many shows in the past few years have embraced the once-taboo topic of abortion and that we’ve see many pregnant protagonists — from Scandal’s Olivia Pope to Bojack Horseman’s Diane — choose termination without the tiniest bit of shame. But most TV shows feature middle and upper class characters who live in or around major cities where abortion is still pretty accessible. I live in a mid-sized southern city where you cannot get a legal abortion. If I needed to terminate, I’d have to travel two hours to a larger city, where I’d have to wait 48 hours for the pill or procedure itself. For people who work low wage jobs and/or don’t have a car, abortion becomes an expensive, time-consuming, potentially job-threatening endeavor. How pleasing to see a young, working class woman character on a TV show lay this all out for viewers who may not understand how hard it is to get an abortion here in flyover country.*

I also love the bartender’s story because it includes the funniest dark joke of the whole episode. Describing what happened when she got to the abortion clinic, she says, “The protesters screamed the worst things humanly possible in my face. But it was fine because I was listening to ‘Shake It Off’.” She smiles, then adds, “And then somebody threw a diaper full of rocks at me… That I couldn’t shake off.” As horrifying as this is, the casual, almost gossipy way she relates the story makes it so funny.

Indeed, her nonchalance about sharing her experience (“I tell everyone that story! It’s the first thing on my dating profile”) honestly reminded me of some of my millennial friends. I’ve always run with a pretty liberal and open-minded crowd, but I don’t remember me or my girlfriends talking so casually about abortion when I was in my early twenties. Even in the very church-going, abortion-unfriendly town where I currently reside, I’m regularly delighted to witness the open and unapologetic way some of my younger friends talk about termination. This bartender reminded me a bit of one young activist I know, who posted on Facebook the day after Tennessee’s anti-choice Amendment One passed, “Someone needs to knock me up so I can have a spite abortion.” I still laugh out loud every time I think about that.

Alas, this scene is not perfect. A couple small details bugged me. At one point Dale, one of the redneck yokel bar flies, brags about being the person who firebombed the Planned Parenthood (which the bartender shrugs off with an eye roll). Look, I know some enemies of abortion access could best be described as “redneck” but this is a cheap shot. The writers of this show seem to have so much contempt for small-town people, but I suspect most of them probably don’t know any. It makes for some pretty hollow satire, especially because firebombin-rednecks aren’t the main reason rural women can’t get abortions (Republican legislators and anti-choice organizations are).

And then there’s this other detail, about which I have mixed feelings. After telling Jules that the procedure itself was easy, the bartender says, “Sure, when I woke up I felt like shit and I had a black eye from the rock diaper. But would I do it again?” With a slightly embarrassed look, she says, “Yeah, I did.” Ah, now here’s a major taboo, both on TV** and IRL - the woman who seeks multiple abortions. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it until we fully obliterate termination stigma, THERE IS NO CORRECT NUMBER OF ABORTIONS A PERSON CAN HAVE. If you call yourself pro-choice but catch yourself saying things like, “abortion shouldn’t be used as birth control,” or, “abortion should be safe, legal, and rare,” you are hurting the movement. As long as you believe that more-than-one-abortion is tacky or yucky, you are keeping stigma alive. Please stop.

So yes, I look forward to the day when “I had two abortions” isn’t a punchline. Nevertheless, I still appreciate seeing a character say that she did, especially one who is this funny and cool.

GRADE

A- Based on previous episodes, I had no expectation of loving this story as much as I did. The grievances listed above would usually result in a lower grade, but that just shows how great the rest of the episode is.

* While the bartender’s timeline implies that there was a waiting period for her procedure (consistent with Pennsylvania law), this is not something Jules encounters when she meets with the physician. I imagine this detail was omitted for the purpose of moving the story along, but it is an oversight.

** The only other character I’ve seen who talks about having had more than one abortion is Mimi-Rose from Girls.

- by Tara

UPDATE: A reader correctly noted that Samantha from Sex and the City also talked about having had two abortions. Good catch! 

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Hi!~ you can just call me Alex, please!~ I would like to be anon if that is ok lol the fandoms I want are A3!, Haikyuu!!, and Naruto! 🥰 SFW and NSFW is alright with me! 😉 whatever is comfortable lol

Alright so, intro info! I’m a Capricorn sun, Sagittarius moon and Virgo Ascendant. My modality is Cardinal 53%, Fixed 37%, Mutable 11%. My elements are Earth 51%, Water 36%, Fire 10% and Air 3%. My MBTI is INFJ. I’m also a HuffleClaw with a bit of Slytherin. I have was born with Turner Syndrome. I have ADHD, Autism, Anxiety and Depression. I am agender and I use they/them pronouns though she/her are alright since I’m used to those pronouns lol I am still exploring my sexuality, I am very open dating anyone of any gender so I would say I’m bi/panromantic, however I do strongly connect with the asexual spectrum since trust is a big deal for me lol

I had a coarctation or narrowing of the arota at 6 days old and was pronounced dead on the way to Children’s Hospital. I had open heart surgery soon afterwards. My grandmother was told that with all the mental health issues I could have due to TS, I could be super smart or I wouldn’t even be able to remember my own name. The doctor’s said I would be bad at math. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my little brother was 6. Both of them remarried, my dad once and our mol several times. Though, I won’t go more into that lol just to save you the details, our grandparents raised us and life was -is- really messy ahah

I’m currently going to college. I was supposed to graduate last semester, but I changed my major several times in the last 2 years lol 😂😂 I was a biology major and wanted to work in marine bio/ wildlife conservation and start my own rehab places for marine/terrestrial mammals. I am now a Middle School Education major with areas of concentration in science and language arts with a minor in TESL ( Teaching English as a Second Language). I want to teach English in Japan! 😊 As far as grade school, I always made As/Bs witout even trying and I loved to read, so much so that I got an award for it in 5th grade! I was quiet yet loud and super awkward as a kid 🤣🤣 I actually loved science a lot and even took AP courses until highschool because the teacher I would have taken in highschool was a really bad teacher who if he had family members and didn’t like them, he wouldn’t like you. He taught my father and his sister and didn’t like them, so least to say young and impressionable me noped out of that fast 😂😂

For a while, I wanted to be a Forensic Antropologist like Temeperance from Bones! 😊 however, we didn’t have a anthro major at my college, only chem lol so, when I started taking upper level courses, I quickly found I much prefer bio to chem 🤣🤣 I still dislike math as I have my whole life, but since I got to college, I’ve only made below a B in one math related course! 🥰

Ok sorry for a lot of random info 🤣🤣 onto other things! So, I’m very shy and quiet at first, but when I get comfortable around someone, that’s when the wierd comes out 🤣 I’m very passionate about education and science! I am a Christian and am very passionate about equality. I also firmly believe in redistributing millionare/billionares’ wealth.

I grew up watching anime and still love it to this day. I have strong connection with Japanese culture because anime was the gateway into learning about it and anime will always have a special place in my heart because of it! Japanese culture and really most if not all Asian cultures resonate with me because of the morals anime had taught me. I firmly believe in balance and hamrony with nature! I was introduced to kpop in middle school and have been a fan ever since lol 🤣 I also like pop/alternative music lol I like P!NK, Linkin Park, Adele and a few others lol

As I mention with wanting to be a marine biologist, I really love animals!~ 💕💜 my favs are otters, foxes, cats of all kinds, dogs, wolves, dolphins, and honey badgers! I currently have a Korat named Lila (li-lah like lilac) she is a very unique cat 🤣 she’s super curious and sorta a crackhead lol I did have a yorkie terrier named Sarah and a miniature schnauzer named Star, but since last June, we had to put both of them down 🥺 Sarah got cancer suddenly late last year and a few months ago Star had congestive heart failure. They were 13 and 14 respectively. They were amazing dogs! Sarah loved to swim and hunt little creatures and was the energetic one while Star was the grouchy old lady 🤣🤣

I also love anything fantasy/superhero! I love HP, LOTR, and Marvel! My fav genre of anime is shounen obvi lol 🤣Lol I also love learning other languages! I took French in highschool and two semester of Mandarin in college lol ( I need to brush up on both 🤣🤣) I am currently trying to learn Japanese! I wanna also learn Korean, Welsh, and Irish! I hope to go teach English in Japan via the JET program at my college! 🥰 I will more than likely stay in Japan after I stay the 5 max years through the JET program!

I also really love video games! I wanna play Persona 5 soo bad 🤣🤣 Horzon: Zero Dawn, the Legend of Zelda series, the Pokemon series and Animal Crossing: New Horizons are some of my favorites lol

Hmmm… what else to say? 🤣 I am typically the mom friend of the group ahaha oh! I am 4’9” and weigh 140 so I’m kinda chubby 😅 I am very self concious about my body. I have green eyes and I wear small, black rectangular glasses. I have moles and freckles all over my body. I have a dyed blonde bob with a brunnette undercut. I don’t have any piercings yet but I do have one tattoo on my inner left ankle!

I am stubborn, passionate, caring, empathetic, understanding, loving, loud, quiet, awkward, hyper, enthusiastic, curious, and I can procrastinate at times due to my ADHD lol I also love to have plans lol I like things to be organized and clean, but I don’t mind ‘organized chaos’ sometimes lol I am also very loyal to my friends. I prefer having a few super close friends than having tons of aquaintances.

Ok so dating lol um I’ve never actually dates anyone before 🙈 I’m also a virgin lol trust is a big issue for me, like aforementioned my parents divorce affected me a lot and I have a strained relationship with each of them due to the divorce and the events over the years afterwards. Plus, as a Capricorn, school/career is my main focus. I’m so busy with college and trying to figure myself out, I haven’t got time for dating ahaha so my irl soulmate will need to be a hell of a person and have the patience of a saint to deal with me 🤣

Even though I have never been in a relationship, out of curiousity and wanting to be knowledgeable, I have researched BDSM lol 😂 I am definitely not into slave/master, whipping, or anything super hardcore at all lol though, mild stuff like toys, handcuffs, spanking, biting, dirty talk, brat/tamer or daddy (mommy)/ little girl and blindfolds would be stuff I’m willing to try out lol basically, some light pain, toys and anything where I can be submissive and cast my cares away while still being able to be sassy/defiant suits me 🤣

Oh! For the purposes of this matchup, just male characters is fine lol like I said, I’m still trying to figure myself out so, for simplicities sake, assuming heteronorms is alright lol

Hmm as far as a type of guy I like, I can give you some anime examples 😂 Portgas D. Ace from One Piece, Itachi/Kakashi/Shikamaru from Naruto, Roy Mustang (also shoutout to Solf J. Kimblee as a guilty mention 🤣) from FMA!B, Kisuke Urahara from Bleach, Zuko/Sokka fron ATLA, Gintoki/Kamui/Takasugi/Shinpachi/Hijikata/Katsura from Gintama, Daisuke Kanbe from The Millionare Detective- Balance:Unlimited, Shinso Hitoshi/Shindo Yo from BNHA/MHA, Levi/Beel from Obey Me!, Itaru/Omi/Sakyo/Misuki/Tsuzuru/Kazunari/Banri from A3! And many more 🤣🤣 sorry for the long list lol basically to sum it up my type is kinda laid back, a lil perverted, confident, dominant, funny, teasing/flirty, caring, intellgent, mysterious, passionate and stubborn lol

Well, I hope that was enough info to get a good in depth matchup 🤣🤣 I feel like I gave too much but I wanna try to make it as detailed for y’all as possible so you can have an easier time with the matchup ahah thanks a lot, I love your blog and keep doing the good work you are doing! 🥰❤️💜💕 be sure to take care of yourselves and I hope y’all have a great weekend!! 🥰

( I apologize for sending it a second time, but there was some stuff I wanted to add that I forgot to mention until I after I sent in the first one 😭 again, I sincerely apologize!)

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

Hello Alex and thank you for submitting with us! And thank you for supporting us! I hope you enjoy the boys I paired you with!

>Admin 𝕋

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

I choose Kiba to be your Naruto boyfriend! when he first sees you, and how quiet and shy you are, Kiba will definitely want to bring your inner playfulness out! And when he sees that you do have some playfulness in you, he will see that you became comfortable enough around him that your inner weird came out! And that would really pull at Kiba’s heartstrings! Kiba will also find it fascinating that you like different types of culture, and how the world works via science and education! He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he will definitely appreciate how you think, since he wants harmony in the world too! He will love the fact that you love animals and he will love the fact that you want to be a marine biologist! Being an animal lover himself, he will marry you right on the spot, just for that!

Since you are the mom friend of the group, you can totally take care of Kiba! It might not be the best, but Kiba would really love and appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do stuff for him, even if he didn’t ask for it! He will love your buddy, it being curvy and easy to hold onto, if you know what I mean wink wink. He will find your little beauty marks to be charming and I see him poking your moles and freckles every so often when he is bored! And when you tell him that you want to get tattoos, hell yeah! He will want to be there for when you get your first one!

Kiba will love the fact that you are passionate about your studies, and you main focus is school and your career! He will love the fact that you are don’t want anyone to mess up your future, and where you want to go in life! He may be a bit on the impatient side, but when he is with you, he will understand the need for patience and why it is important! He will also love the fact that you are so loyal to your friends! He doesn’t want to date anybody who isn’t loyal or isn’t compassionate to the people around them, so that will definitely be a plus in your book!

For the spicy stuff, Kiba at first would not know what he is doing but once he figures it out, ho boy, you are in a for a treat! Biting, lots of biting, and him being just very dominant, wanting to please you and make you feel like you are on cloud nine! He will let you do what you want, if it means that you are going to like what you guys do in the bedroom! From the biting to the dirty talk, he is up for anything!

I choose Sakyo to be your A3! boyfriend! Sakyo will see your shy and quiet persona and think nothing much of it, but once you get comfortable around him, enough so that your inner weirdness comes out to play, he will be surprised that you were hiding such a fun and cheerful person away from him! He will also like the fact that you are passionate about science and education, since Sakyo himself is definitely one to go to science for something that can’t be explained, and he is one to like education too, since it gives you wisdom on subjects you didn’t know about before! He will love the fact that you love his culture so much, from the anime to the actual history of Japan. He will feel that you super educated on the subject, and will be appreciative of how much you love where he is from! 

Sakyo will find it adorable that you love animals, and he find it admirable that you want to become a marine biologist! It is a hard job, learning about all kinds of animals, and then discovering new ones! Yeah he will find it very impressive! And if you were to ever tell him that you want a dog or some kind of really cute animal, he will never able to say no to you! So you should use that to your advantage! As for video games, he isn’t one for the, but if you ever try to get him to play with you, he will have a hard time saying no! It will frustrate him though, that you’d keep beating him at all of them!

As for appearances, I feel Sakyo wouldn’t care about what you like, it’’s all about what is on the inside, and when he sees that you are a passionate, loving, caring, a mother figure to your friends, loyal to them, and empathetic to the people around you, he will just know that you are the person for him! Seriously, yeah he might like your curvy body, but what will really give make him like you is the fact that you are just a really nice person for people to be around! He will definitely understand the sentiment of having just a few close friends, than having like twenty acquaintances.

Sakyo will love the fact that you’d rather focus on your studies than have a boyfriend that could distract you from your future career! He would be glad to wait for you to accept him, until you are stable in your career and would be able to start dating you like he wants! And for a little spicy time, he would be a dominant as all hell. Like he would be so into dirty talk and taking you to heaven with his mouth. You might tell him you want to some like spanking and biting, and he might be into the biting, but the spanking makes him feel a little weird, so he might do it as often. But! If you ask, him he will have no reason to say no! So you better have fun with him!

I choose Iwaizumi as your Haikyuu boyfriend! Much like Sakyo, Iwaizumi will see you shy and timid demeanor and think nothing of it, and if anything, he will think it is kind of cute, but would have an inkling that you are more than you put out. And once Iwaizumi sees that, yes, you are more than shy, that you have your weird quirks and can be quite loud, he will find you even more cute, what with the way you act around him and not the others! He will find it so cute that you only act like that with him and nobody else! And much like Sakyo, he will find it awesome that you like his culture so much! From the anime to the language, and everything else! He would even offer to help you learn the language and such, to help you better understand his culture! Iwaizumi love the fact that you like superheroes and practically anything fantasy! I suspect that Iwaizumi also love Marvel and such! I also feel like Iwaizumi is extremely good at video games, so when he plays with you, make sure you try your best to win against him!

Iwaizumi will feel a bond with you being like the mom friend, since he has to constantly watch over Oikawa like he is his child! And for appearances, much like Kiba, I feel as though Iwaizumi will see your blemishes and your curvy body and think it is just uniquely you! Something that he associates with you alone! And the uniqueness will definitely get him to really like you! But I feel like he will really like girls in glasses so that is a definite plus for you!

Iwaizumi will love the fact, like the others, that you are a loving and caring person. Someone that is passionate and driven! And the fact that you have all your plans thought out and organized in your own way? Oh yeah, he would definitely like that! And the fact that you are so passionate about your future that you’d much rather focus on that instead of being in a relationship! He’d understand, would he hate that fact that he has to wait for you to be stable in your career? Yes, he wouldn’t like it one bit, but he wouldn’t leave you because of it! Will he wait for you? Most definitely!

For the spicy stuff, ahahahaha Iwaizumi. He is like. A dominant bottom, he’s okay with essentially whatever you want to do, as long you both are having a good time, and you guys are feeling good! As for the biting and the spanking and all the kinky things you want to try out, he’d be into it, he’d just wouldn’t know how to go about it, so it would be a learning experience for the both of you! In the end, Iwaizumi would be into a lot of things you guys tried! So beware what he has in store for you in the future!

[timelordinaustralia]

92 Statements

I was tagged by @king-belamy! Thank you! :)

RULES: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water.

2. Phone call: work related.

3. Text message: work related.

4. Song you listened to: “Stand By Me” - Ki Theory (love this song, this version was on FTWD, but I have heard it by several artists, mostly the John Lennon version). 

5. Time you cried: IDK.

6. Dated someone twice: Nope.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope.

8. Been cheated on: I’d have to actually be in a relationship haha.

9. Lost someone special: I guess.

10. Been depressed: Probably.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope. 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12.-14. black, blue, red.

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: if the internet counts haha. made acquaintances irl I guess, but not friends. 

16. Fallen out of love: nope.

17. Laughed until you cried: probably. not for a bit anyways.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: that happens. people always talk about you behind your back whether negative or positive. best to ignore it, unless it is friends saying lies and bs. then they are not friends and you should cast them out. Luckily that last part isn’t relevant to me. 

19. Met someone who changed you: define changed me. you always can learn something from people, and change as a result. even if it is just a student teacher relationship or boss and worker relation shop etc. Depends on what you mean. Like hella changed you heart and soul, then no. But small changes, then yes I guess. But generally no people I have met have made me become a whole different person. 

20. Found out who your friends are: yep. only one left irl I reckon, and maybe a former friend from high school, we talk sometimes and hopefully can reconnect soon. Oh wait, maybe two others, but haven’t talked in ages, so idk. But apart from those four, I’ve just given up with the others as it is just one way, and they obviously don’t give that much of a shit about me to bother to talk to me.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: haha nope. 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them. well except one, as it’s someone i met on tumblr, but technically haven’t met in real life. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! (maybe one day)

23. Do you have any pets: yes. my cat. she stunk up the house an hour ago. but i still love her. haha.

24. Do you want to change your name: nope.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I don’t remember. I think I was doing this course thing, and then I tried taking the bus home, but stuff happened, was kind of cheesed off. I did get myself i doughnut I think. Was good. I can’t remember what I did when I got home, but my mood changed, and I was happy again. So whatever I did in the afternoon/evening must have been good. Maybe watched some tv IDK.

26. What time did you wake up: haha, not as early as yesterday or tomorrow as I got to sleep in a bit as I had to go to a meeting about a possible job/traineeship thing (which is good, so I can get out of volunteer stuff and finally have my first paid job thing). My Fitbit says 6:42am, but that wouldn’t be correct, that isn’t when I woke up, but when I checked my phone before I got up. Maybe 6:20amish. But around 6:40 yeah. 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: According to my fitbit I fell asleep at 23:59pm so I might have been asleep if the fitbit is correct. So either sleeping or trying to sleep, and just being still so it records as sleeping haha.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: a job, or the xmas special for dr who, but I also don’t want the xmas special as I am not ready for Capaldi to go. But it sounds good. I love multi doctor stories. First Doctor and Twelfth Doctor. Can’t wait, but also DON;T GO!!! haha

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: IDK. 40 minutes ago maybe. She’s gone to bed.

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing rn. 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes. Used to have a couple of “friends” named Tom.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: idk. maybe my brother. he’s already used over half our internet again. All he does is stay home and play video games and try to use up our internet. he slowed it down last month. douche.

34. Most visited website: tumblr or google haha.

35.-37.

38. Hair colour: brown.

39. Long or short hair: short.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no. I mean I get attracted to people, but like, not around them enough to develop crushes. 

41. What do you like about yourself: IDK. My amazing taste in music haha. That is so relevant to me though. Others probs hate some of the stuff I like.

42. Piercings: None.

43. Blood type: I have no idea tbh.

44. Nickname: Don’t really have one, people call me Andy. Or some my surname or a variation of it.

45. Relationship status: single af. really should probs try getting into the dating scene before I get too old. will do someday.

46. Zodiac: Gemini.

47. Pronouns: he/him.

48. Favourite TV show: Doctor Who. But I have loads. If it is whonviverse related, then it is defs a fav though. Torchwood would be my next choice obviously. I love it. I do like the first 2 series more than COE AND Miracle Day. But COE was still fantastic af. 

49. Tattoos: none.

50. Right or left handed: right handed, I use my left hand sometimes and people get confused. But I am right handed. My handwriting sucks, but sucks more in my left as I never learnt to use that hand for writing like I did my right.

51. Surgery: None.

52. Piercing: None.

53. Sport: Just PE stuff. And sports day stuff and all that. I used to be good at high jump. Apparently my teacher had never seen someone just run over the bar. Just scissor kick or back flip (whatever those techniques are called). One of my teachers jokingly asked if I had springs in my feet once. I remember the mat in primary school for the high jump was too small for me and I landed on my but on the other side on the grass haha. Memories. 

55. Vacation: Europe. I want to go on holiday so bad. Even if it is around Australia. But money...

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Not eating aything atm. But chips. They are my weakness. 

58. Drinking: water. it’s healthy. 

59. I’m about to: watch some show before I go to bed early....

61. Waiting for: the world to change. Sorry music reference. 

62. Want: stay up late like I used to and watch my shows. But need to get up early....

63. Get married: If I find my soul mate haha. IDK. Depends. They might really be against marriage. So yeah. Then won’t. And if my partner is not female, but male, then technically atm can’t marry in Australia (yet).

64. Career: Wherever I end up IDK.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs. someone hug me.

66. Lips or eyes: eyes.

67. Shorter or taller: either or. idk.

68. Older or younger: around my age. I need to spend time with more people around my age.

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: whatever.

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: idk.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope.

75. Drank hard liquor: probably.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope.

77. Turned someone down: sort of. 

78. Sex on the first date: I don’t think so, think I would like to get to know someone before. 

79. Broken someone’s heart: idk. 

80. Had your heart broken: nope. don’t think so.

81. Been arrested: not yet... haha. jokes. Haven’t been arrested. (too smart for that :P)

82. Cried when someone died: at a funeral I may have had a couple of tears.

83. Fallen for a friend: once. tried to ignore it. glad nothing ever happened they won’t worth it anyways.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: I try.

85. Miracles: No.

86. Love at first sight: I wish.

87. Santa Claus: The basis of the myth, but the Santa Clause, no.

88. Kiss on the first date: Yeah.

89. Angels: Nope.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: N/A well I guess the best friend you have? So not my best friend, but the best friend I have atm? then Dylan. That’s irl though. 

91. Eye colour: Blue Grey

92. Favourite movie: Don’t ask. I have many. I want to say something classic. But let’s just go with 3 random movies I love. Shrek. The School of Rock. X-Men movies (sorry can’t pick, so the franchise).

Tagging: @hugwinchester, @beautifulopportunities, @tigresswraith, @saybiforme, and anyone else who wants to do it.

[kensingtngore]

@bestcrow i know you blocked me and stuff but i’m pretty sure you check my blogs and this is just weighing on my mind so i’m gonna post it and hope you see it. i guess it’s okay if you don’t but i think it would be important for you. please spencer you can’t internalize things like this. they’re not direct criticisms or things that are inherently part of you that you can’t fix. they’re things that i think you should confront that will make it easier for you in the long run. and i feel terrible because i never really said what i thought and i enabled you to think everything was okay when it wasn’t.. but people told me i shouldnt feel bad for that so idk. i’m sure you already know lots of this too but along with that youve been pretty consistently ignoring my feelings and i really need you to understand how i feel in all of this. anyways here’s some things that i’ve been thinking about (way less accusatory than my last post about it).

it’s not normal to make your partner be completely responsible for you and have them tell you when to do everything and just not do it if they don’t say anything. it’s not. i never really thought of it as weird when it was happening but i told nico and manda and they were both really weirded out by it because it’s not healthy!! i KNOW you know that and i KNOW we addressed it but it’s going to cause some serious lasting issues for me. now i’m going to feel like if my so isn’t totally dependent on me, something is wrong. and it caused problems for me in the relationship too. i had breakdowns over it because you made me directly responsible for your success or failure and subsequent self-worth (’when you stop pushing me it feels like you’re giving up on me so i give up’) and i literally could not handle that. and nobody should have to put their life on hold to take care of you. it has to be equal, and putting that much responsibility and pressure on someone is not healthy or balanced in the least. 

i honestly don’t think it’s dramatic to say that getting angry at your partner for having emotions is gaslighting. making someone repress their feelings is literally a form of gaslighting. you cannot expect other people to be emotionless, spencer. and i know that’s what you wanted from me because you literally told me that. on top of that you can’t tell someone not to talk about how they feel on tumblr/wherever, but then get upset and angry when they come to you like you said you wanted. i know you think i betrayed your trust by having the vent blog but i did not have any other options. and YOU have a vent blog AND a private vent!! once again i know this is something you know but it’s extremely damaging. and if you think YOU have trust issues because i didn’t tell you things, imagine how i feel believing that my partner is going to get pissed at me for being emotional. something i already believed but now it’s amplified x300! :) 

getting a job is something that NEEDS to happen. maybe you can live off your parents but i can’t and chances are the people you date later on won’t be able to either. i know that you know this but the fact that you shut down and guilted me into promising not to do something that i desperately needed to do to SURVIVE is not okay. i know it sucks, i know you have separation issues, but it’s NOT fair at all!!! there has to be a better way to deal with that!! and another thing: you got so upset when i mentioned college because you thought we would move in together sooner and me going to college would prevent that, but then when you started having issues you decided moving in was too big of a step. i totally understand the latter, but i feel like it was really unfair to do that to me. your partner’s future cannot be determined by your impulses and mood swings. it honestly fucked me up because i felt like i had to depend on your success, and that’s something i struggled with when you broke up with me too- i didn’t have any plans besides You, so i felt so lost and alone!!! nico put it very succinctly: you isolated me and then left. and you cannot keep doing that to people. 

this is a smaller one and pretty much only applies to us but. okay. yes i know i have problems with jealousy and being paranoid but you did Not help with that. it’s not okay to act like how you and nadia did. and it’s not fair to make me feel like i overreacted to you guys being affectionate when you said. directly to me. ‘if you did the same thing with nico i would freak out’ (or something to that effect). you knew it was something that bothered me and something that would bother you too! you knew it wasn’t a normal behavior! you can’t belittle your partner’s feelings over something like that (you made it very obvious you thought it was stupid that i was upset over the thing w your sonas). the only times i got upset that you hung out were 1. when you were together irl (warranted, maybe it’s a novel idea but i kinda wanted to be around the person i was dating :P) and 2. near the end when you were barely speaking to me but hanging out with her and being affectionate and sexual all over tumblr (warranted, because you were pulling away from me while doing that). and now you’re using my fear of the thing with jd against me... that wasn’t even unwarranted either. it’s a romantic relationship in canon and as lame as it is to get upset over kin drama it’s like... it’s real to you!!! so it matters!!! maybe instead of trying to paint me as jealous now you could maybe try to see where i’m coming from. 

it is not fair to say that you cannot control things because of your mental illness. i didn’t think it was bad at the time but as i’m thinking about it it gets more and more upsetting and seems less and less healthy. you Cannot say things like that i’m sorry. i feel so out of control sometimes too (recently!!) but some of the things you said or did and then went ‘can’t help it, it’s my illness’ were just not okay at all. it’s like when you were snapping at me and i told you you were being harsh and you’re just like ‘i can’t stop myself’... things like that aren’t okay!! and i’ve been talking to people who have similar issues and even they think it’s not good to fall back on that as an excuse. 

your mood swings made me SO nervous spencer. i hate to say this but they reminded me a lot of my mom. i’m not trying to say you’re like her in that you’re abusive but i’m sure you know how it feels when you’re on unstable ground with someone and their emotions can change at any time and things you do can set them off and it’s impossible to tell what’s going to happen. it terrifies me. this fits in with the control thing because i know it’s hard when small things set you off, but the same exact thing happens to me and i try really hard not to take it out on other people and so do plenty of other people i know who struggle w it too. 

it’s also not fair to rely entirely on your partner for support. i know you have a hard time talking about things. i know you shut down. but it is entirely unfair to put one person in charge of your emotions and depend on them for everything. i enabled this because i’m naturally sort of a ‘caretaker’ and i worry that if i’m not being useful to people then i’m useless, but it’s honestly had a really bad effect on me and it’s something that hurt me while we were together too. i feel bad that i never said anything but i hope you can take it to heart now. i hope you can get help for it.

semi-related, and maybe more specific to us but i think it could be a factor in every relationship you have if you don’t look for outside help: i really feel like part of why you stopped having feelings for me is because i stopped helping with all the bad things in your life. looking back on things... you know how it was in the beginning. you said something to the effect of ‘a few messages from you and i’m like depression who? i don’t know her’ when we first started talking. and then later on it was pretty clear that that wasn’t the case and things just started spiraling and getting worse. i know you say you don’t understand why things changed but i really do think it was due to that, at least in part. and i think that’ll just keep going with anyone you date unless you really try to deal with the actual root of your issues. people can’t fix you. but you are very strong and resilient and you can do things to help yourself, i know it. 

i don’t think you’re a bad person at all. i’m not just talking about you to talk or ‘implying you’re toxic’ just because. these things have been weighing on me and i’m dealing with all the emotional fallout and feeling miserable so i know they’re real. i may not be happy with you and i may wish we hadn’t met but i don’t think you’re bad or abusive. i'm sorry things turned out like they have. i’m sorry i tried to hurt you with that other post and i’m sorry i’ve been pretty terrible about messaging you. i’m sure there are things that i did that bothered you too-which you’ve said- and i KNOW i have issues that need to be worked out. i wouldn’t claim otherwise, and you’re free to talk about them if you need to. (you can talk to me if you want even.) but you have to understand that i am deeply hurt and you hurt me. not only by leaving but with things you did while we were together that are going to be lasting and hard to shake. like i said you cannot internalize it when people tell you things like this. i know it’s so hard, but none of this is intrinsic to you and you can change. you’re a good person, spencer. you just NEED to start taking responsibility for the things you do and work on them instead of shutting down for fear of being an abuser.

[helmes-deep]

82 Truths Tag

hwat. is. this...

Tagged by: @shinwhoohoo what have you made me do loool  Thanks, dear!! :D

Rules: Answer these 82 truths about yourself and then tag 25 people.

Note: *this was done during the fall semester quite a couple months back lol, but most of the answers are still pretty accurate*

Most Recent:

Drink: tae HAHA tea and water

Phone call: I don’t have a phone so nobody calls me or vice versa haha. Last e-mail I got was an app update saying one of my assignments had been graded :3

Text: Someone I know from school

Song you listened to: “Introduction: Youth” by BTS; it really is my new favorite song rn... so good “Single You Up” by Jordan Davis. I am NOT a country music fan by any means, but this one is too catchy!! haha xD

Time you cried: 2½ weeks ago?? At night... in the dark... by myself... huhu :’3

Have You Ever:

Dated someone twice: No. Fun fact: I never even dated anyone once lol

Been cheated on: No

Kissed someone and regretted it: No

Lost someone special: Yes

Been depressed: I did have a spell once, about a year or so ago

Been drunk and thrown up: No, I don’t drink

Kissed a stranger: No

Glasses/contacts: No, but I’m starting to think I need glasses (I feel near-blind when I try to read text from farther away!! xD)

Had sex on a first date: No

Broke someone’s heart: No

Turned someone down: No lol. I have turned down people for other things though, like party invitations or chances for group work... really awkwardly, too, haha...

Cried when someone died: Yes

Fallen for a friend: What are friends?? LOL we’ll just say no :p

In The Last Year, Have You:

Made a new friend: Yes??

Fallen out of love: No

Laughed until you cried: Yes, today actually lol!!

Met someone who changed you: Not necessarily... I have learned quite a few things from my current cohort of student teachers though!!

Found out who your true friends are: I only got one real friend... my brother is my best friend haha... so no RIP LAWL

Found out someone was talking about you: Not in the way you’re probably implying, no I don’t think so.

Kissed anyone on your FB list: I don’t have an FB!! :o

Right Now:

Eating: Nothing, had a ramen cup for dinner a few hours ago :p

Drinking: Nothing, just finished my glass of water

I’m about to: Just finished a slide of the “3 Types of Conflict” in literature; about to go to sleep, yay!! :DD

Listening to: Portugal. The Man’s new album (released today) :o

Want:

Kids: Yes!

Get married: Yes!!

Career: High school English teacher and/or writer!!!

Extras:

How many people from your FB list do you know irl: FB IS FOR LOSERS!! >:DDD

Do you have any pets: No, but I’d love to get a dog when I’m older

Do you want to change your name: Because my name is a “legitimate” Asian one, I’ve often used to wonder if I should change it to an English one, or at least get a more Americanized nickname. But by now having gone through 20+ years of life with my original Asian name, I’ve come to appreciate its beauty and unique-ness, kind of like how you grow to love and accept body features that you might not have been too happy with when you were younger. I don’t really have a problem with people mispronouncing my name, as long as I can tell they’re putting the effort in to try to say it correctly. I’m actually very interested in how different people choose to pronounce my name upon first try (so at the beginning of the semester, one of my professors asked us to tell her in advance how our names were pronounced if they had a difficult pronunciation so that she wouldn’t embarrass anybody when she called roll. Idk if it was rude, but I didn’t raise my hand :p I was just really curious to see how she would pronounce it lol.).

What did you do for your birthday: I probably went out to eat... or ate at home with my family... maybe went shopping during some later date... bought some CD’s online?? :DD

What time did you wake up today: 6 AM. My wake up time will be 4AM in a few hours :33 I CAN WAKE UP AT 9-10 AM NOW YAYYYYYYYY!! LOL

What were you doing last night at midnight: SLEEP THANK GOODNESS

Name something you can’t wait for: BTS’s WINGS album in October!! lol uhhh... getting hired for a teaching position Nothing, recently :/// Maybe Phangs’ new album Get In My Arms, coming June 28th??

Last time you saw your mom: Like an hour ago?? About to be a minute leol

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Idk if I’d actually want to go back and change the circumstances that have made me who I am now, but one thing I wish I had realized earlier in life is that starting to work toward your dream job doesn’t (and probably shouldn’t) start when you enter college.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope, don’t think so.

What’s getting on your nerves right now: Just those instances where I can’t focus on schoolwork and am spending too much time on Tumblr or procrastinating, thus not getting enough sleep and feeling terrible the next day.

Blood type: This question has come up a few times for me from time to time, but unfortunately, I haven’t had the chance to look it up or bug my mom enough about it to confirm what my blood type is.

Nickname: I don’t have one, most likely because of how my “legitimate” Asian name makes it hard to form one in English (actually one of my students started calling me something based off of my last name leoool).

Relationship status: Single

Pronouns: She/her

Favorite TV Show: Daredevil

Long or short hair: For me?? Long. Though it’s short right now haha

Height: 5′2″

Do you have a crush on someone: Like on a real person in my life right now or someone who isn’t, oh I don’t know, an ocean or two away and living in South Korea?? :pp So no

What do you like about yourself: That I’m highly organized, artsy-ish, smart, thoughtful, and loyal.

Right or left handed: Right.

First surgery: Never had one :o

First best friend: Anna, from kindergarten to 2nd grade. I hope she’s doing well in the world right now...

First sport you joined: Basketball in 6th grade. That was the one and only time I ever did any “official” sports related activities because my mom was not big on me playing any sports lol.

First vacation: When my family took me to either a museum, national park/garden, or Six Flags when I was much younger.

List 3 favorite colors: Pink, brown... and whatever else. Maybe white??

Which Is Better:

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Hugs or Kisses: Kisses

Taller or shorter: Taller

Older or Younger: For a future husband, older; for anything else I don’t really care lol

Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic... but don’t overdue it haha

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hookup or relationship: Relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, definitely. Troublemaker might not even be an option lol

Do You Believe In

Yourself: As in am I confident in myself?? Ideally, yes. Realistically?? I’m still getting there :p

Love at first sight: If you mean by like, a suddenly instant infatuation or attraction to someone, whether physical or through what they do, then sure. But I don’t think “true love” really develops with someone until you’ve gotten to know that person and their personality, likes/dislikes, quirks, etc. first. Once you really get to know a person, then I think true love can develop/exist.

Miracles: Yes. I am a Christian, so I do believe that miracles exist, from large to small, even in this day and age.

Heaven: Yes. Again, because I am a Christian, I do believe Heaven exists. I also believe in a Hell and God.

Kissing on the first date: No lol. I’ve got no problem with it, I just prefer not to :p  

Wow that was a lot, but interesting!! Not tagging anyone but y’all feel free to do it if you’d like – don’t forget to tag me!! :3