#caffeine needed

[cuthwyn]

Rookie Goon: I have discovered a way to bring the entire Batfamily to its knees!

Veteran Goon: I'm listening?

Rookie Goon: Once we bring down this system? The Bats will be so hopeless, move so slowly, we will destroy them in a single evening.

V.Goon: I'm actually liking every word you have just said.

R,Goon: We go after the coffee pots, sir. We attack the coffee pots directly.

V.Goon: ...

V.Goon: You want to cut the Bats off from their caffeine source?

R.Goon: Yeah? The Bats depend on caffeine. It would be a fatal blow to them!

V Goon: It would be a fatal blow to US! Caffeine is the one and only thing stopping the Bats from doing the most heinous things. You take their caffeine and they will come after our caffeine... and anything else that makes us feel good for 5 fucking seconds!!!!

R Goon: *Tearing up* They wouldn't do that. Would they?

[cant-make-this-shit-up]

Is 7 years too late for returning a faulty item. Cos Mr 7 is still wide awake at 2.30 am.

Trialling new medication (adhd), started yesterday. He has meds to make him sleep. Had them at 8.30. Didn't even touch the sides. Just gave him another one now in hope it'll make him sleep.

One very tired and grumpy mumma.

Please send hammer, oops I mean help. LOL

Relax just kidding.

[thevoidstaredback]

Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant

Listen. It was an accident. He didn't mean to! It just kinda happened.

So maybe he brought a drink with enough caffeine in it to kill an elephant within a few minutes, and maybe he forgot to put the sleeve on his cup so he could tell it apart from the others, but it's not his fault! He didn't think anyone else was going to have the exact same Yeti cup as him! It's not like he'd seen any of the others carry one before. Besides, he worked with superheros. They should be smart enough to check before drinking someone else's drink.

Danny had been summoned by the Justice League Dark a few years back in order to help with a world ending crisis and he just didn't leave. It's not like he could go anywhere anyway. His ghost half hadn't grown past fourteen and his human half had stopped visibly aging at eighteen. He'd had to leave town as Danny Fenton, but he'd stayed in Amity Park as Danny Phantom. When his parents died of old age, thank god, he'd closed down the portal, stuck around for a few more years, before traveling the world as Danny Fenton.

Anyway, he'd taken up residence in the House of Mysteries after the JLD had summoned him. Constantine, at first, had been wary, but he and the rest of the JLD had grown to accept him. He was an honorary member of the team.

At some point, just after Robin had become Red Robin, Danny had been introduced to the Justice League. He liked those guys, too, and worked with them sometimes. Though, he usually only went to bug them.

Red Robin had been very interested in the fact that his was fourteen and working with grown heros, like he was one to talk, but Danny hadn't explained anything other than saying that he had died and come back. The following conversation was an interesting one that lead to Danny knowing that Nightwing was the Batman he'd met and that Batman was lost somewhere. He'd confirmed that the man was not dead, but he hadn't offered to help look for him. He probably should have, in retrospect.

Back on topic! Everyone in the JLD knew not to touch Danny's drink. They'd all seen him make it before and had been horrified on varying degrees. It's not like it could kill him. He's already half dead! So long as he only drank this specific brew as Phantom, he'd be fine.

The Justice League, apparently, didn't get the memo. He blames Constantine because Zatanna and Raven can do no wrong. No, John, he's not biased.

The point is, Red Robin just had a sip of Danny's drink. The horror he now felt was akin to the fear he held when he'd told his parents he was Phantom. (An interaction that had gone very well, thank you very much.)

Danny knew the exact moment that the vigilante realized he grabbed the wrong drink. His eyes widened to an astonishing degree, and, if he'd been able to seen his eyes behind the mask, Danny knew that the man's pupils would've completely overtaken the irises. His hands started shaking, too. Oh, no. The man's already addicted to hellish amounts of coffee. This is only going to make it worse!

Quickly, and without drawing any attention, thank the Ancients, Danny rushed over. "You, um, you okay, man?" Obviously not, but he tends to talk when he's anxious and he was certainly anxious right now. He could've possibly just killed a man via poison!

"What the fuck is in this coffee?" Red Robin asked, going to take another sip.

Danny pulled the Yeti from his hand and gave him the proper one. "Enough caffeine to kill an elephant."

"Obviously not, seeing as I'm still alive."

"Yeah, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not."

"Excuse me?"

"I-I mean-! I didn't-! You know what I mean." Caffeine is poisonous in excess, and his drink was way beyond excess, but it's the only thing that works for him as a ghost! Superpowered metabolism and all that.

"Do I?" The laugh in his voice answered for him. He took a sip from his drink and frowned at it. "I don't think any coffee will ever be enough again."

"And that's my cue to get my drink very far away from you." Danny turned, fully intent on moving to the other side of the room. Besides, the meeting was going to start as soon as the Flash and Kid Flash arrived, which would be soon. Something about one of their Rouges getting out?

"What?" Red Robin asked, "Why?" If he was a little desperate to get another sip of that coffee, he'd rather not acknowledge it.

"Because you don't need anymore lethal coffee," he muttered, "The sip you took will already keep you awake for three days at least, and it probably jump started an addiction. Best to stop it now. Besides, I need to go have my crisis on how the hell you're still alive after even a sip of this stuff."

"Again, rude." The bird themed vigilante crossed his arms as best he could while holding his cup. "If it's so dangerous, why do you drink it?"

Danny took a deliberate sip as he locked eyes with the technically younger man. "I'm dead. I don't need to worry about my heart stopping or having a seizure."

"Excuses."

"No, it's not 'excuses'. I'm saving your life."

"You're a kid. If I can't have that coffee, then you shouldn't be having it."

"First, I'm older than you. Second, I already told you: I'm dead. This isn't going to hurt me. Third, you can't tell me what to do."

"There's no way you're older than me. You're like, ten."

"I'm thirty-eight!" He balked, "I only look fourteen because I died when I was fourteen. We've been over this."

Neither noticed the entire Justice League looking at them. The two they were waiting on had arrived a few minutes ago and everyone was ready to start the meeting, but they'd been distracted by the two's conversation. Was that true? Had Phantom really died so young? They'd all been made aware he was not living, but they didn't think he'd died so young! Though, that was probably the denial speaking.

The Justice League Dark had been fully aware of this and didn't really bat an eye. Though, someone should probably get this meeting started. A potentially world ending threat was the topic, and that was a pretty important thing to discuss.

Captain Marvel was the first to pull himself together, though that was only after Atlas and Zeus had mentally slapped him out of his stupur. "As, ah, riveting as this conversation is," he stepped between the two boys- er, boy and man? "we really need to start this meeting."

Batman did not clear his throat because he'd not lost his voice in the first place. "He's right. Everyone take your seats."

Storyboard Part 2

[dustykneed]

i just think spock has great mom friend potential tbh. strong contender for the cutest thing i've ever drawn

[crimsonender]

Lily is literally the preaching vegan stereotype of sober people.

Lily Orchard showing her ass as a hypocrite and someone with toxic neoliberal values? Wowie I sure didn't see that coming.

Also, guess who has AuDHD (A combination of ADHD and Autism spectrum disorder) and also is no longer on Adderall? Meeeeee. I also had to quit cold turkey!

and. you don't get withdrawal symptoms unless you're abusing the medication. Either Lily was misdiagnosed with ADHD or she takes too much. If you have ADHD and you're taking the appropriate amount, the only thing that happens is you start experiencing ADHD symptoms again... which, you don't really notice as a physical symptom, as the symptoms are entirely behavioural.

[mblue-art]

once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)

[haroldbiggs]

More coffee please

[superprofesh]

Never forget the time Colt had a cup of coffee in his hand and literally broke his spine before he got to drink it

[timblrdrake]

If you drank 70 cups of coffee, the amount of caffeine could easily kill you. But just a few teaspoons of caffeine powder can be even more dangerous. Y'see, a single teaspoon of caffeine powder is equivalent to about 28 cups of coffee. in 2019 a man accidently mixed in too much caffeine powder in his drink. It was the equivalent to 200 cups of coffee. This led to his heart beating extremely fast. He started foaming at the mouth before eventually dying.

so you’re telling me the limit is 69 cups… (hah)

thank you for this info Duke i’ll use it (un)wisely.

[fleshbash]

[thevoidstaredback]

Every man has his breaking point. Danny's is just a bit higher than everyone else's because he's a king and has a high tolerance for absolute bull shit. No matter how strong that bar is, though, one can only bend so far before snapping.

Unfortunately for everyone around him, Danny has reached his breaking point.

"I wish I could get drunk," he stared into his drink longingly, "Or high. But mostly drunk."

"Why do ya say that?" Billy asked, tilting his head curiously to the left.

Danny sighed, "It's a long story."

"I've got time." he shrugged.

"Are ya sure?" Danny raised an eyebrow. "You don't think any emergencies are gonna crop up? Nothing you'll need to go take care of?"

Billy backed off a little, folding into his seat. "What're you talking about? I'm just some kid on the street. I ain't going anywhere."

Danny rolled his head from side to side. "Mostly, I'm talking about the JL meeting the both of us are gonna skip out on tonight."

"What-?"

"C'mon, Captain, it won't do to talk here," he stood, picking up his coffee and waiting for Billy to do the same.

Billy's eyes narrowed as he looked Danny up and down. "I don't recognise you," he whispered, "Who are you."

Danny produced another calling card from his sleeve as he sipped his drink, holding it in front of himself but not handing it over. When Billy was looking at it, he flipped it over. The white background turned matte black, all the runes in the Ouroboros turning so white that they glowed. The DP in the very middle tinted blue, pulsing with toxic green energy, slightly cold to the touch. The edges started to frost over.

Quickly, Billy pulled the card Danny had given him before from the inner pocket of his jacket. It, too, had changed to match the one Danny held, though there was no longer a DP in the middle. Instead, it said 'Phantom' in fancy calligraphy.

"No way," the kid muttered, his expression awestruck, "Phantom? That's you? No shit?"

Danny chuckled, tucking the card away again, "No shit, kid. Don't tell anyone, though. You're the only one who knows."

"Really?" he squeaked.

"Really."

***

Having someone know his whole story was refreshing, just as he's sure Billy felt good to have someone know his, too. That didn't stop him from feeling bad about dumping it all on the poor kid.

"I still wish I could get drunk," Phantom lamented."

Constantine looked up from the book he was reading. "You can't get drunk?"

"Nope."

"How'd ya figure that one out, kid?"

"Please don't call me a kid."

That's not good. The blond marked the page before setting the book to the side. Phantom had never actually asked him to stop calling him a kid. "What's wrong?" He didn't normally do the whole 'feelings' things, but the was an exception.

Phantom sighed long and sad. He didn't look up from the carpet. "I told you they were going to ask invasive questions."

"Who was it?" It was more of a demand then a question.

"Red Robin,"

"Red- I thought you would've skipped town when we were done there? I sure as hell did."

"I know you did, but I decided to stick around for a bit. Wander, y'know? Red Robin caught up to me and would leave me alone."

Oh, oh no. Those were tears. Were they? Yeah, shit, they are! John is not equipped to handle this!

Phantom sniffled. "He asked me how I died."

Fuck.

John Constantine is not easy to anger. Sure, he gets tired, and irritated, and a whole slew of emotions, but he is very slow to anger.

Phantom, he knows, is not a child. The ghost can very much take care of himself in basically every way one could think of. He saved the world on his own, several times, when he was fourteen. He became a King and Protector when he was fourteen. He died when he was fourteen.

Right now, all he could see was the child who hadn't ever been properly laid to rest. It was hard not to call Phantom a child when he seemed so small, seeking comfort from anyone. Phantom was crying. He'd retreated to the House and locked himself in Constantine's room, only talking when he was ready to, but he'd waited to cry.

Phantom didn't like crying. Every person in the JLD knew this.

No. John Constantine is not quick to anger, but he is scary when he reaches that point. Batman might be the night and vengeance and all that shit, but John Constantine was wrathful.

He sat beside Phantom and let the ghost lean into him and cry. He didn't like dealing with feelings, but this was a child in need of comfort and he was the only one around to offer it. "Do you really want me to stop calling you 'kid'?"

A sniffle and a small head shake. "No."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"...sure."

"How old are you really? As a ghost, not as a human or a halfa. How old are you?"

"Fourteen." he mumbled, "I'll never be any older than fourteen, John," he was getting a bit hysterical now, "I'll never be any older than fourteen! I-I died and-and now I have to rule and-and people keep asking and no one believes me and-!" A sob cut him off, heavy with grief and wet with tears. He cried for hours, giving up on trying to form words. Constantine let him, ignoring the wet patches on his shirt. Eventually, Phantom's sobs died down into hiccups. "I didn't...I'm- I'm sorry."

"It's alright, mate," he meant it, really and truly.

Phantom rubbed his eyes, "I'm gonna go hide somewhere."

"Not gonna share where?"

"No, I want to be alone for a while." He paused at the door, "Whatever you're gonna do, will you leave Captain Marvel out of it?"

Odd request, but, "Alright," he nodded, "I'll talk to the others." And by 'talk', he means lecture. There are boundaries that one shouldn't cross, and not asking the dead how they died should've been obvious! With his League issued communicator, John called an emergency meeting in one hour, required attendance, barring Captain Marvel. First things first, though, he needed to talk to Deadman.

Part 7 Storyboard

Tag List:

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[existennialmemes]

Nothing feels real. You had to have noticed. Everything is a hollow distraction painted over the Horrors raging beneath.

You wave to your neighbor. They smile at you. It does not reach their eyes. They resume shoveling soft, biodegradable plant matter into plastic bags. Because the leaves "look tacky."

You commute thirty minutes to work in a metal cage propelled by small explosions. Stopping once to fill it with dissolved dinosaurs. And to fill yourself with the state sanctioned stimulant.

A normal morning.

Unfathomable suffering goes on, far away from you. "Better there than here" you think. Unfathomable suffering goes on, right outside your doorway. You politely avert your gaze.

It doesn't have to be this way. It's not supposed to be this way. This planet has the resources for the entire globe to thrive. They are being mishandled by .01% of our population.

We can have a better world.

[tookishcombeferre]

Gravity Falls HC:

The Pines Family is descended from Dr. Henry Jekyll post-soul fission.

This is why every generation of the family has one set of twins that includes one obsessive scientist and one feral crazy person.

This brought to you by Grunkle Stan getting rid of all the ladders and buying 10 guns, and Mable being … well … Mable. (Both my favorite characters by the way. Lord, do I love them.)

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

things we learn about scully in s1

she has a godson (and she told his mother that she thinks mulder is cute)

she did her residency in forensic medicine

she's good with dogs and is naturally drawn to all kinds of animals (even evil-looking monkeys)

she wants to keep her christmas tree up all year because her father always made her take it down as soon as the holiday was over

(and she was never positive that her father, who was in the navy and involved in the cuban blockade, was truly proud of her, because she joined the FBI instead of becoming a full-time doctor like he had wanted)

((and he didn't say "i love you" the last time he spoke to her. ouch))

when she was 14, she stole one of her mother's cigarettes, which she thought was disgusting, but she wanted to do something Forbidden for once

she once forgot her own birthday (which is february 23rd) when she was studying for her exams

she has a little cat sign on her apartment door <3

when challenged by the preacher's kid, she refused to deny the power of God; she was raised catholic, and remembers that "God never lets the devil steal the show"

(she's almost always wearing a cross necklace, even while declaring that she considers science sacred)

((and yes, her favorite movie is the exorcist))

she took some biology courses on bugs and is now going to tell you some bug facts

she has two brothers, one younger and one older

her dad- with whom she did not have the greatest of relationships- nicknamed her "starbuck"

(he called her this after the steady and rational first mate character from moby dick; all the more cruel when you consider he pushed her aside for joining the FBI rather than doing the "logical" thing, becoming a doctor. to cast her in a role of the dutiful daughter without her permission and then create a conditional sense of love is just. so mean. it's a miracle she didn't turn out as emotionally repressed as he did)

[yourcoffeeguru]

(via GIPHY)

[strawberryscare]

“Do My Friends Hate Me, or Do I Just Need To Go to Sleep?” but it’s riz saying “it’s fine everyone has a least favorite friend 😀”