#buy a date

[resident-gay-bitch]

heavy themes, minors dni, homophobia, slurs?, mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of death, mentions of sexual assault.

ten years ago, eddie left the safety of his hospital room and braved the outside world. see, hawkins was hell. not just metaphorically, small town america where the satanic panic was everywhere and people beat up queers regularly. but also, it was literally hell. the upside down was bleeding out into the real world, and after experiencing five minuets of being legally dead, eddie was fuckin out of there.

ten years ago, he rounded up the troops after graduation and fucked off to chicago, lived it out in a shitty little apartment and played whatever gigs he could get on his blessed sweetheart that wayne had thankfully saved before the rip.

ten years ago was the last time he had seen steve harrington, the town famous jock and ladies man that had selfishly stolen eddie’s heart during the hardest week of his life.

eddie left. and he didn’t look back.

over the years, his friends came to visit him, or he’d bump into them elsewhere. he ended up closest with nancy since she was living close to him for about six months back in ‘88.

that was the year corroded coffin got big.

like, really big.

like, playing at the garden and partying with mötley crüe, sex scandles and overdoses making the front page kind of big.

eddie was a star.

it was everything he had dreamed of.

when performing, he was in his element. when writing lyrics, he was in his element. when being chased down the street by a hoard of teenage girls just trying to touch his hair or get an autograph or even just trying to get him to look them in the eye, he was in his fucking element.

eddie had always been an attention whore.

in ‘91, the tabloids went off the charts when eddie was seen standing awfully close to another man in a dark allyway, both sharing a cigarette, and then another photo of them walking into an underground, invite only club together that was infamous for its suspected queerness.

christmas ‘92, eddie announced during a massive fucking christmas concert in new york, live streamed across the world, for all ages, that he was in a committed relationship with a man. and then he pulled said man on stage, and kissed him. really fucking hard.

his manager fired him the next morning, but that didn’t stop eddie.

his fame outweighed the queerness. plus, it totally boosted his popularity in that community and people started figuring out that a whole bunch of his lyrics were really queer coded.

eddie and his boyfriend broke up in ‘93. he got cheated on. right under his nose. his brilliant, punky boyfriend was fucking his pencil skirt wearing assistant the entire fucking time. turns out, punky boy was only with eddie for his money.

eddie loved him.

it hurt.

he developed a life threatening addiction after that, following in his mums footsteps. it started with the drinking. then it turned to coke. then he found heroine.

he ended up overdosing three times, he’s lucky to still have his life.

he did meet some really cool people in rehab though.

it took him till december ‘95 to make one month clean. he’d managed to stay clean. gareth threatened to kick him out of the band if he didn’t.

in ‘96, corroded coffin went on a short tour to their favourite places to perform. rocking the house out and showing the world that eddie was okay. that he could still party and perform and get caught up in several sex scandles, like the one with popular actor james rowan or the playboy model, eliza truman. that he was clean and nothing that bad had ever really happened.

ninety percent of being a rockstar is just lying.

eddie got home at three in the morning post tour. finally able to sleep in his own bed again, rather than the stupid tour busses or random hotels. eddie was glad to be home.

he’d bought himself a lavish place. he didn’t have much as a kid, so he wanted to have it all now that he could. he’d bought wayne a place too, though, it was a penthouse, wayne didn’t need a mansion. eddie was living down in LA too, by the coast. he had a private beach. he loved it.

he locked the door behind him, resetting the security alarm. that was always his top priority, after that crazy fan smashed his window and crawled into his bed in the middle of the night and tried to suck him off in his sleep.

eddie was kinda traumatised.

he walked through the downstairs area, grabbing himself a bottle of apple juice out of the far too big fridge in his kitchen, and walked over to check on his guitar room.

yup, they were all safe.

he walked over to the counter where his new assistant placed his mail when he was gone and shuffled through it.

he found an invite from hawkins high for the ten year reunion.

eddie never thought he would ever go to a highschool reunion, he hated highschool. and he hated everyone at highschool. but after some thinking and a bowl of kraft max n cheese, he decided he might go pay the old town a visit.

he knew the gates were closed, nancy told him that.

and there were less homophobes, robin told him that, though… it was still hawkins.

most people eddie hated (carver) were either dead, moved away, or had the most mundane jobs known to man. they all had pathetic lives. and eddie was a world famous rockstar.

freak, bullied, beaten and ridiculed his whole life, turned rockstar, egotistical sex symbol desired by all.

he bet he could make a few of those assholes jealous with a simple wink their bored wives way.

fuck it. let’s raise a little hell.

——

the reunion was as boring as he has suspected. dull, shit music, people that bullied him asking him for his autograph and having the audacity to say ‘i never thought you were a freak’.

it was an entire night of eye rolls for eddie.

he was ready to head back to cali the next morning, but robin begged him to stay. she was hosting a charity fundraiser to put more money into the schools for the kids. the town was pretty run down, and the schools were falling apart and the entire arts program was shut down and eddie’s money would be really useful. eddie was happy to give her some, kids deserved a good education, but he didn’t want to stick around.

but then she had told him all the kids would be there, and they’d want to see him, and it would actually be fun. because robin was fun, and so were her events.

so eddie gave in and stuck around for a few more nights.

eddie got all dressed up, per robins request. a smart black suit with metallic embroidery all over it. a black button up underneath, left partly unbuttoned so you could see the low hanging chains around his neck and the tattoo between his breast plates. a large sword pointing towards his stomach, woven with vines and very fantasy badass. he topped it off with his usual rings, some dress shoes, and his sunnies that he wore everywhere to hide his face.

when he got to the event, thankfully, there were no paparazzi. eddie thanked the heavens robin didn’t tell anyone of his attendance. he walked in and overheard a few murmurs, of course, he stood out. most men here were dressed in simple dress shirts and blazers with their short cut hair. some people recognised him from around town. some people recognised him for his music. some people recognised him from the papers. and some people recognised him as that murderous queer.

yeah, it suddenly felt a little hot.

there were a lot of older people here.

older people really didn’t like queers.

eddie pushed through, keeping his shades on for that extra protection.

when he found robin, she was dressed in lovely green silk and she looked devine. he took her hand graciously and spun her around before bowing down and kissing her hand. the photographer for the event - jonothan byers - snapped a few pics.

“lady robin.” eddie smiled, standing again.

she pulled hand back and waved it at him, “oh my goodness, world famous rockstar eddie munson! i’m never washing my hand again. defile me, please, i beg of you!”

“ha ha. your real funny, you know that?”

“i do.” she smirked and tapped his shoulder with her purse, “nance is over there if you wanna say hi. i’ve sat you at the table at the back over there with dustin, el, erica and argyle. is that cool?”

“cool with me.” he nodded, hands behind his back, “your the boss lady. i am here to simply follow along and throw all my money at you.”

“and you are a gem for that.” she pet his face a couple of times with a smile and hurried off, “catch you later.”

he saluted her before making his way over to nancy.

the night flew by, he got to catch up with dustin, el and erica whom he hadn’t seen in well over a year now. the last time was at dustin and els wedding, he just found out they were pregnant with their first. eddie tried his best not to cry. he also got reacquainted with argyle. he’d only met the guy once, seemed cool enough. he was cool now, had really awesome hair that eddie admired. and he was sorta cute and really gave off gay vibes. eddie spent half the night flirting with him until jonothan walked over on his break and greeted argyle with a kiss. safe to say eddie was embarrassed and he apologised profusely, argyle was flattered.

the food was good. like, really fuckin good. eddie was a little confused as to how rob could pay for it all, she was a primary school teacher, but apparently nancy scored some brilliant reporters gig and made stacks now, and they were together. eddie was proud of her.

then came the charity part of the night. there was a silent auction where people donated items amongst the art pieces the primary and middle school kids supplied. eddie won a bunch of things. he won a hand painted vase that ms henderson donated for two thousand dollars. he won a homemade candle set that he only wanted because it smelt like the tour van after their first concert, for eight hundred dollars. he won a canvas painting from a six year old of a pink dinosaur for five thousand. he won an attempted teapot from a ten year old that was painted like an enchanted forrest for eight thousand dollars. and he won a clay monster with nine arms and seven eyes and two mouths and a weird shaped figure created by some siblings aged thirteen and four, and eddie thought he could hang his rings on it, for twelve thousand.

when robin calculated the amount he had spent just from the auction, she cried. that meant she could put on a play this year.

eddie himself donated a guitar, an old electric that robin ended up scoring herself, she wanted to learn and be able to teach the kids.

the next charity event was a bet. people were drawn out of the crowd at random and forced to compete against each-other at random games, and guests could place bets on who would win or lose.

eddie bet on the losing side for all the jocks, and won almost every time. (all the winning money went to the schools). eddie was called up for a competition, and he was ready for it.

beer pong.

he had this in the fucking bag.

oh, and look who it was against… steve mother fucking harrington.

when eddie first locked eyes on steve, his heart raced. he still looked just as beautiful as he did ten years ago. all those horrible memories of unrequited love and his broken heart came flooding back. he’d lost a love he’d never had for no fault but his own. he was dressed in a smart black suit with a bow tie and shiny shoes and… by god, is that strawberry lipgloss? and blonde highlights?

yeah, eddie wasn’t making it out of here alive.

eddie stepped up to the table, droning out the oohs and ahhs of the crowd, he was used to it. he watched robin fill steve’s cups with beer and then watched her fill his own (secretly) with soda. thank the sober gods.

“are my eyes deceiving me, or is that king steve?”

steve laughed, “in the flesh. im honoured to grace your presence though.” he bowed, and god, he was an actual dork now. fuck dustin for being so influential.

“hmm.” eddie nodded with a smile, “love the hair. going for ‘ken doll’ or something?”

steve smirked, “insult me all you want, i get all the barbies i want.”

eddie tried not to laugh. apparently steve was not as slick as he used to be, “right… we shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

steve shook his head, and they both turned to robin.

“okay!” she announced through the mic, “how much are we betting on steve to win?”

people started voting, the money adding up. steve was the basketball champ and resident party boy back in highschool, so it made sense most people voted for him.

but no one had played beer pong with eddie back in highschool. and they were in for a treat.

“and who votes for eddie to win?”

a couple of people placed their votes, those being eddie’s friends who had played beer pong with him before. eddie looked at the boards, only three hundred dollars was casted his way, compared to steve’s five thousand. he looked back to steve with a smirk.

“i’d like to bet, robin.”

“uh…” she looked over to nancy with a questioning face, who just shrugged, “alright… i guess.”

“i bet…” eddie pretended to think, “ten thousand dollars that i win.

“oh,” steve laughed, “i can see someone’s not cocky just for show.”

“i have a right to be, don’t you think? i mean, you get it, stevie.” eddie grinned, “lotta money, fancy clothes, chicks love me…”

steve deadpanned him and picked up the ball, “suck a dick, munson.”

“oh, i do. quite often, actually.” eddie leant on the table as steve readied himself, “why? you interested?”

steve’s cheeks flushed pink and he terribly bounced the ball, and it missed.

eddie smirked, picking up the ball himself, tossing it, and landing it perfectly in the cup, “bottoms up, big boy.”

the game was over faster than it started, eddie sunk every single cup. the crowd groaned in annoyance, and steve seemed a little ticked off. eddie chucked him a devilish wink before finding his seat again. a few more bets were played before the final charity event of the night started.

“okay,” robin leant over into the mic, “this is entirely backwards of me, but the lovely ms butterscotch insisted we add this to the list. just for some light fun. so!” robin cleared her throat, “a little disclaimer before we start, you are not owed shit.”

the crowd nodded.

“okay, you lovely people with heavy wallets out there get to buy yourselves a date with some of hawkins most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. the deal is one dinner of your choice with the your partner and that is it! you are just buying a dinner with them!”

eddie laughed to himself. this was the type of shit you would see in movies.

“up first, we have the lovely ms butterscotch herself. who would like to take this lovely lady out for the night?”

a few younger guys, probably freshly graduated all placed their bets with charming smiles, wooing the sweet old lady. eddie thought about placing one just for fun, taking her out on the town for a night, but he wasn’t sure how she’d feel about his whole demonistic metal look.

“next up, we have the lovely ms jane hopper.”

there was a little cheer, and dustin started placing bets against mike and will. and he was losing. and eddie found it very amusing. so he placed a bet too, seven thousand dollars. he won. dustin death stared him down. when el approached the table with the date ticket for eddie, he took her hand and kissed it graciously before slamming the ticket down in dustin’s palm, along with a couple hundred dollar bills.

“take your wife out somewhere nice, a congrats on the baby or whatever.”

dustin smiled warmly and helped el back into her seat.

a few names went by, both male and female, most of them eddie didn’t know.

“and last, our most eligible bachelor, as all you lovely ladies out there know, we’ve got steve harrington.”

there was a cheer in the little crowd and eddie thought it was a bit much. but he also totally understood, steve was, and always has been, a total babe. the bet started off small, working its way higher and higher into the hundreds increasingly quick. it got to just two ladies bickering a dollar higher each time, both red faced and determined to get their date with steve. eddie was having a big laugh. steve was making faces with dustin the whole time, unable to believe what was happening.

“seven hundred and twenty.”

“seven hundred and twenty two!”

it was giving eddie a headache. he reached for his water and took a sip, looking over his glass at steve on the stage. he looked a little nervous, all flushed in the cheeks and fiddling his fingers. eddie noticed he was wearing a ring on his pointer finger. steve looked very well put together. and honestly, it had been making eddie feel a little hot under the collar all night. steve looked over his shoulder at robin wearily, and then back down at the ground. watching steve made eddie’s heart race. he missed him. the boy he barely knew all those years ago. he missed looking at the softness of steve’s eyes and feeling safe there. of never wanting to leave.

then he did the cutest thing.

he scrunched up his nose, trying to get his top lip to touch it out of pure boredom.

“fifty thousand dollars!” eddie slammed his hand down on the table without a second thought, not even processing that it was him who spoke at all, until he felt every single eye in the room fall on him.

“what?” robin choked out wide eyed.

eddie swallowed. well, he was in it now.

“i said, i bet fifty thousand,” he stood slowly, reaching his hands out and bowing graciously, “for a date with steve harrington.”

“jesus.” steve muttered.

“uh…” robin looked around the room, “has he got any competition?”

silence.

the two girls looked furious.

eddie smirked.

“sold!”

steve was bright red in the face, and robin handed him the ticket with a little wink. steve walked up to eddie’s table and handed the ticket to him.

“munson-“

“uh!” he shook his head, snatching the ticket, “i’ll be referred to as baby, or your highness from now on. whichever you choose.”

steve glared at him, “fine… your highness. i’m free tomorrow night.”

“wonderfull.” eddie smiled, chucking him a little wink as he looked down at the ticket, “i’ll give you a call.”

steve nodded as he began to back away, “i won’t look forward to it.”

oh, but eddie would.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[monsterqueers]

Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).

Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!

If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[cobaltfluff]

competitive aquarium date

bonus: the night before

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 329

Bruce was admittedly suspicious when Talia requests a meeting, and is admittedly still upset with the entire hiding Damian’s existence from him for literal years. But he also admits that he just… has to take a moment. 

“Run that by me again please?” He had to have misheard, right? Or gotten drugged by something maybe. 

Talia sighs, sounding just as tired as he felt. “Father’s tea supplier has moved to Gotham after an argument, and he wishes to discuss the agreement of him not entering the city- to speak with said vendor.” 

[sweetbrier2908]

my fav headcanon is satan calls lucifer "dad" sometimes when there is no one around them

like imagine satan be like: "dad can you buy me that new curse book?" "for what?" "to curse you, why even ask?"

[devildomwriter]

Fun Facts 531-540

• Solomon and Simeon worry that them tutoring Luke could bruise his ego so they ask others to help, like MC and Barbatos

• Beelzebub took a whip cream bath with MC and Belphegor

• When Leviathan was cursed to shout a secret he loudly admitted that when Satan is mad he reminds him of Lucifer. Satan heard and Levi went into hiding.

• Raphael had never heard of baked sweet potatoes

• Thirteen claims MC’s soul shines exactly like Solomon’s used to when she first met him.

• Asmodeus did not develop the ability to charm others until after he became a demon

• Raphael believes it won’t be long until Diavolo has won over the entire Devildom

• Diavolo once bought a lollipop for everyone in the Devildom. Mammon said the amount it set him back was substantial.

• According to the chat name between the three of them, Lucifer considers Mammon and Simeon to be brats

• Lucifer bought cat-shaped bread for his brothers to enjoy but Satan refused to let anyone eat it

521-530 • 541-550

[hotwaterandmilk]

Series: Hotaru no Yomeiri Artist: Tachibana Oreco Product: ‘Hotaru no Yomeiri’ Volume #2 Animate Ryoumen Illustration Card (09/2023) Source: Scanned from my personal collection

[vaguely-concerned]

the barista lady in the treviso café fucking giggles every time you buy the fancy coffee lucanis likes from her btw. can't believe the game is calling out rook and me like this

[kittytiddycommittee]

Something for you little heel-lickers

[l3viat8an]

MC:*wearing a t-shirt that says; “Satan is my sugar daddy”* Satan! Do you like my new shirt? :D

Satan:*nodding* I do.

MC: Wait, really?-

Satan:*grinning* Of course, you should wear it on our next date.

[zephyrchama]

Mammon asks Leviathan for a game recommendation. "Somethin' cool where I'm playin' the hero, with lotsa action. And cool graphics!"

Leviathan sends him the perfect game, but he's modded it so the enemies shout "give me my money!" while attacking and the player gets in trouble for looting houses.

[cnl0400]

The new dating feature... What to expect?

(Apart from disapointment, of course)

Disclaimer: I only bought this because I had a lot of Google Play points, so I could shave a looooooooooot of the total price, but my condolences to anyone who doesn't live in the US because it's a lot more expensive in another regions... Including mine, of course

Disclaimer 2: I'm not telling you what to do with your money, this Is my personal opinion. If you are planning in buying this, do whatever idc, but since a lot of people are having doubts, I felt that I might as well tell everyone what Is this about.

So yeah... Since they announced the new feature, I knew It either would cost real money, It just sounded too good to be true, but I didn't expect to cost $29.99? Almost $37 in my country currency, a total scam, really.

But to be fair to them, this Is a bundle that comes with 300 DP, and considering the price of 280 DP, it's almost like you get the ticket for "free", right?? At least that's how Solmare probably thought It would look like, but the reality Is that the common player will see this bundle and just think that this ticket cost 30 fucking dollars (just look at the comments of Twitter and the tag Right now). In my opinion, just separate the DP and the ticket, and have the bundle as an special offert If you want. Remember that selling stuff Is also about framing... Most players that were planning on buying this might not be planning on buying the DP (like myself, I don't buy DP unless it's on special offerts) so the only thing people like that will think Is that "why this ticket costs that much?"

But what you get in the actual event, you might ask? The trailer was vague as hell in my opinion, and that's an instant red flag in my radar, especially for that spicy art that came with it

For a ticket date you get:

A 1min call

A 10min storyline (not fully voiced, apart from certain lines in the las part of the storyline)

A Majolish background with the date art

The event starts with you calling you boy of preference (in this case, I choose Mammon) to invite him to a date, the call ends and you get a 10min storyline. The premise of the Mammon's date Is that MC has won tickets to Phantom Park, and then Mammon & MC get involved to a game of tag to win a price. Then couple shennigans happen, blah blah blah.

The Story Is... Not bad? I found It rather cute actually, it's romantic and at least they make It explicit that Mammon & MC aré actually dating, but again, this could very well have been in a Devilgram, it's not worth the 30 dollars Solmare expects you to pay tbh. Just tip your favorite fanfic author and call It a day

The last segment Is the one they show in the tráiler, with Mammon getting out of the shower

In this scene, some lines are voiced, and tbh, If the actual story was like this, It almost miiiight be worth It (not the full price, but at least something). But as now? Save your money people, I wouldn't really recommend It.

The only way I would recommend buying It it's If you're already planning on buying the 280 DP offert, or you have a lot of coupons/GPP so you don't pay full price lol, but If you like Lucifer (or Asmo) just do yourself a favor and buy the ASMR. At least, that's what I think

[veryhungkendall]

Like what you see?? Dm if you wanna FaceTime, buy videos or meet up🥰

[savemebeel]

Fans: “Give us a chance to transfer our old cards to NB.”

Devs: “Okay!” *adds og cards to NB but we have to buy them again*

Fans: “This is not what we meant.”