#but you still will find yourself paying a bit too much on things that costed less (once)

[steelthroat]

I am pretty responsible when it comes to money... someone could also use the word "stingy"

However:

Snacks

Little stupid but actually useful gadgets that ALSO look cool/nice

Museums/art related stuff

Make me act... unwisely

[firelightmlpoc]

This is Pansear (if you want proof, look at my pinned blog; I'm well aware that there are a lot of imposters out there). I wish to say thank you for being open minded while also acknowledging that- yes- I did fuck up at times. I didn't treat Azriel the best. I was selfish towards the MAP collaborators. I wasn't a particularly great person in general- all that I admit, and I have my own separate posts for those. Overall, I'm sorry.

The harassment was too much and the screenshots were obviously fake. It wasn't fair to me. It wasn't fair to anyone either including those who believed were fake too, even to future potential victims of allegations and former victims of harassment campaigns. I left not in admittance of guilt, but to everything else that has boiled over (again, I detailed this in a post).

I know there's people beaming to know that I'm alive and well (and of course, people who are angry that I'm not). I just want to say that I'm sorry for having to leave everyone in the dark for so long, and that I was basically a POS back then.

It saddens me as well that this whole situation not only affected me- it has affected most of the fandom. It has affected the other artists, who no longer feel safe and comfortable. It has affected my friends, who missed me and feel lost in the dark. It has affected my fans, who worry about me and feel so conflicted about everything. It has affected friend groups who are distanced in their conflicts.

Even for the things I didn't do, I still felt horrible. There were no winners in the end, and any winner I could describe are those vile people hiding behind anons who have hurt the most.

People can already predict that I will never return and that is definitely the case. Not just for the sake of my well-being, but I believe it's for the best for everyone in general. It's been far too long that I danced through the harsh weathers- some strange fucked up game of ping pong, and it's time to put it to rest. I don't care if people will hate me still, all I care about is everyones' safety and for those who have been hurt to heal from this.

I have no real say on the Emily side of things. Indeed what she did to Azriel was irresponsible, but she doesn't deserve the harm and harassment she's got and been getting. Nobody does. Not even my calloutters and my harassers. Looking at their responses and posts just makes me feel bad. I can't help but feel sorry for them.

I hope you yourself are doing well. To all others reading this, I hope you all are too. The fandom isn't the same but I know love can persist somewhere. I am leaving it all up to you to make this place so much better, and that one day everyone can laugh again.

For now, I'm hoping things can rest.

I’m glad to hear you’re doing alright. And as you’ve said: Yes, you have done things wrong, but the actions taken against you were far beyond the pale for what you actually did.

An apology backed by action towards self-betterment is a good apology, & is what you’ve shown to be doing, though I truly wish that the cost you’ve had to pay for this all wasn’t so steep. I hope that you’re still able to find enjoyment in your art still, & hope that you’re able to heal from all of this, even if it takes a good bit of time to do so.

May the path you walk no longer hurt to stand on, & may you find yourself at peace with all of it some day.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: The lie of dating

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

*Door slams open and alien patron walks in

Alien: *Sits down with a loud thud at the counter bar stool

Alien: Get me a drink.

Human Bartender: *Turns, looks disapprovingly, then turns around again

Alien: Human, did you hear me?!

Alien: I said I want a drink!

Human Bartender: *Turns around again and points at door

Human Bartender: That is an expensive door.

Alien: I don’t care.

Human Bartender: It cost a couple thousand credits to transport out here.

Alien: I said I don’t care now give me a drink.

Human Bartender: Well you should fucking care because if I walk over there and find so much as a scuff on it I will break you like a pretzel.

Alien: Is that how you talk to customers?

Human Bartender: Until you put some money on the counter you aren’t a customer.

*Alien and Human glare each other for a long minute before the Alien sighs and places a credit chip on the table

Alien: Fine, there. Drink, now.

Human Bartender: *Takes the credit chip and puts it into pocket before reaching for a bottle under the counter.

Human Bartender: So, *Human begins saying as he makes a drink, what���s got your feather’s all ruffled?

Alien: I don’t want to talk about it.

Alien: And don’t say I should talk about it because it is cheaper than your human therapists.

Human Bartender: Wasn’t going to.

Human Bartender: Still on the fence if I like you at al-

Alien: Fine I’ll tell you!

Human Bartender: *Sighs

Alien: I went on a date today with someone and it wasn’t what I thought it would be.

Human Bartender: Grunts*  Got cat-fished?

Alien: What?

Alien: No I don’t have any fish; why would you even ask me that?

Human Bartender: *More frustrated sighs

Alien: Here I was going in expecting to meet someone perfect and instead I meet-

Human Bartender: *Loudly bangs butt of bottle against counter.

Human Bartender: Alright listen.

Human Bartender: You’re going to end up alone and sad as the last pickle in a jar unless you give yourself some realistic expectations.

Alien: What is wrong with wanting perfection?

Human Bartender: *Chuckles

Human Bartender: Well for one thing it doesn’t fucking exist.

Alien: Lies.

Human Bartender: It’s truth.

Human Bartender: You go into this dating situation expecting to see a perfect vase of a person all neat and porcelain, when everyone is dealing with their own shit and problems that’ve chipped away at them bit by bit.

Alien: But I see these people on the interwebs all the time.

Human Bartender: *Waves dismissively

Human Bartender: And they’re lying through their teeth.

Human Bartender: Some people are just better than others at hiding their problems.

Alien: And why would they need to hide them?

Human Bartender: Seriously?

Human Bartender: From assholes like you.

Alien: How dare you!

Human Bartender: You literally walked in and started bitching about someone who wasn’t “Perfect”.

Human Bartender: That’s why people hide their own problems; because if they talk about them openly assholes like you keep alienating them so they clam up all over again.

Alien: Well maybe some people aren’t as good as myself with solving their own problems and not complaining like slump rats about them.

Human Bartender: Alright you know what-

Human Bartender: *Grabs alien from behind counter, hoists him up by collar, then throws him across the room damaging several chairs.

Human Bartender: Those cost several hundred credits to make! You’re paying for those too!

[erwinsvow]

you and john progress quickly in your relationship.

warnings: basically john is controlling and wants a housewife whether you want to be one or not, possessive/toxic behavior, elements of gaslighting, age gap, mentions of sex

john price leans too heavily on the crazy side of possessive—and at the same time, he likes to see you perfectly taken care of, but by no one if not him. you think stupidly that you'd be a fool not to be interested—a handsome, older man similar to the ones you and your friends are always fantasizing about after complaining about boys your age. he checks off every box, a bit too well, actually.

he communicates, openly and often, not just single word texts but rather long phone calls and drop-ins at the small florist shop where you work. plans are always made in person—you think he's just old-fashioned but there's something about seeing your eyes light up when he lays out the order of the date night he's put together for the two of you. it's sweet—like no one has ever put this much thought into something for you. it's always dinner at some place that would probably cost half your rent, a sweet treat after since you're so fond of it but you feel greedy ordering dessert at the restaurant, dancing or a walk or browsing through a bookstore together or something else that's not just going back home. it's so well thought out, so attuned to your taste. you almost forget you've just met john a couple of weeks ago, that he was just a cute customer buying flowers from you a few dates ago.

your friends spur him on—you can't tell if it's something akin to jealousy or not. the very idea makes your face burn—you've never been someone that others are jealous of, but maybe now you are, and that's all because of john. and he doesn't let up—keeps it going wonderfully, still planning dates and picking you up and bringing you some small yet expensive jewelry after the first month claiming that it reminded him of you. you don't think it's something that he would just stumble across at a store but you accept it anyways, start wearing the ring on your right hand. you think you should feel alarmed when he presents matching earrings a little bit later, but you don't. you start wearing them daily, let your friends catch a glimpse when you move your hair behind your ear.

you've become perfectly pliant to john price and his antics, eager for his validation, eager to see him again. the way he talks about things makes you think he knows everything there is to know in the world, so you believe him wholeheartedly. like when your landlord says the complex is being bought out. your little one bed, one bath is perfect for you but you certainly don't want to buy an apartment right now. but it's okay—because john is there to help. he answers the phone when you're sobbing into the receiver, comes over and comforts you. he shushes you when you blubber about moving and work and finding a new place and murmurs against your ear, moving your hair aside to look at the earrings he'd gotten you.

"sweet girl, why're you cryin', hm? you'll just come live with me until s'all sorted, alright?"

and, well, john knows best, so you listen. a few short weeks later, you're moved into his place, which is so much nicer than your own. your books and photo frames and knick-knacks blend in perfectly with his belongings. it's a little further from work, but how can you give up waking up next to john each day and curling up next to him, severely fucked out, each night?

the commute is getting annoying—you grumble about it one night over the dinner table. john meets your eyes and runs a hand over his beard and says—

"why don't you just quit, love?"

and you don't really have an answer. you love the shop, love getting paid to be around flowers all day. but is it really worth dragging yourself back and forth across the city every day, especially when you don't even pay rent anymore? you tried, insisted, even, but john says something about how he's not your landlord and you're not his tenant, saying something else about how the missus doesn't pay rent, and you're left with a burning face wondering how many other times he's referred to you as that. it's not like you need the money, you don't think you've paid for anything other than coffee and bagels since you moved in.

you tell him you'll think about it, but then the decision is made for you. the little old lady who owns the store says she needs to downsize, and well, she had to make a tough choice. it's fine—you're hardly upset. your coworkers both have young kids, are both there every day of the week, they definitely need it more than you. so for the first time in a while, you head home early, picking up some stuff for dinner and finding it way too easy to swipe john's credit card to pay for it. you get dinner ready and then get yourself ready, waiting for john to come home to tell him about what happened, hoping he's not too upset that you're pretty much a leech now.

you and john end up tangled in the sheets a little later—you hum while he rubs your back and you think briefly that you'll have to wash these sheets tomorrow since you two have made a mess. his touch is hot, he's like a furnace, but you can't pull away, clutching to his warmth and gripping his arm with your hand. the only time he even looks concerned, or maybe upset? angry? is when you mention that you can start looking for a new place to work nearby home. he says something you only half-hear in your sleepy state, something about 'don't worry your head, love. i can take care of my girl.'

and well, who are you to argue with that?

(when you wake up, the ring he'd gotten you what seems like forever ago, is on your left hand now. on your left ring finger. but that's crazy, you swear you always put it on your right hand. it fits nicely enough there, so you leave it.)

[baldurs-simp]

Gortash fall in love with the most kind, caring, silly and bold Tav. A Tav he thinks is easy to manipulate, but ultimately, she manipulates him - in a certain way. An artificer Tav to add some more spice (?)

I love Gortash at the moment, so with pleasure!

Masterlist

A loud boom shakes the manor, unsettling the dust in the rafters, telling everyone exactly what happened without the need to investigate. Everyone already knows that their lord, Enter Gortash, will already be on his way to the source of the explosion before the dust even settles again.

You're still fanning the smoke away with your hand, coughing loudly as you try to blink away the tears welling up in your eyes from the smoke. "What in the hells have you done this time?"

You turn your head towards your laboratory door that has blown open from the blast, and you can faintly make out the figure od your lover, Gortash.

"Dabbling in black powder. I may have used a bit much this time," you mention, immediately turning to your notebook on the table to scribble something down, still muttering to yourself. "Perhaps half of the quantity next time. Or a quarter?"

"If you continue like this, you'll bring down the manor before the year is up," Gortash says, tentatively stepping into the room but still carrying himself with immense confidence. "I didn't allow you to stay here just to destroy my home with your...experiments, did I?"

But it's as if you don't hear his words. You're still mumbling to yourself, noting down things on parchment pieces in a chaotic way that Gortash can't understand how you know where anything is.

He calls your name, but you only hum a response, still now paying attention to him. He has to speak your language, so to say, if he wants your attention. "What exactly is it that you are working on?"

The question makes your whip around with a bright smile on your face, glee in your eyes as you beacon him closer. "It's a firearm," you say, turning your gaze to the mangled piece of metalwork on the table. "I've read about them. They're like a ship's cannon, but smaller so you can hold it in your hand. Like a crossbow or shortbow, but less big and without the clanky ammunition that gets stuck on everything. It'll be more convenient and deadly if I get it right. But I'm working on infusing them with some magical elements, too. Like a 'fire' firearm that shoots fire pellets, or an 'ice' firearm-"

"You're rambling, darling," he cuts you off, smirking at your when you bite your lip in embarrassment. "I thought our arrangement was that you work on the weapons we already have, improving my military defense. Not trying to invent some new nonsense."

"But I've done all that and more. It's hard to improve on something that's already great," you say, pouting at him as you fold your arms across your chest. "I'm bored with swords and arrows. Don't you want to be known for something new? Something that no one else has?"

Gortash sighs, dropping his head between his shoulders as he shakes it in defeat. He thought that he had you under his thumb, but every day, he feels that it is the other way around. And yet, he will still give you all that you ask.

You ask him to give you the entrie city for your experiments and he would.

"Very well. But you know I expect nothing but excellence for this," he says, waving his hand at whatever it is that lays on the table in a mangled mess.

You giggle in glee, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek as a thank you. "I know. And you know that I never let anything leave this room until I am completely satisfied with it."

He hums as you step away from him, picking up the contraption to inspect the damage as you right a chair that has been blown over. "Oh, I need more black powder."

"More? Do you have any idea how tedious it is to find? Not to mention how much it costs."

Your eyes meet his, hoping that he will do what you ask without you having to beg for it. But he doesn't budge.

Sighing, you slowly stand up with your head hanging low and your gaze on the floor. "Fine. I guess I'll just have to find someone else who will want to help me if you do not care about me. Clearly, you do not wish to see me thrive in my craft."

You make as if to start packing up your things, making sure not to make eye contact with Gortash. As you try to walk past him, he wraps an arm around your waist, swiping you closer to pin him to his body.

"You will do no such thing, little Artificer," he growls, staring down into your eyes, making sure that you do not look away. "You will leave of I say leave and if I say you will stay, then you will stay. Do you understand?"

"Oh, big, mean Gortash, giving orders to someone that could blow him up with a simple stumble," you say, smiling up at him as you playfully wrap your arms around his neck. "What exactly would you do to me should I defy your orders?"

"Terrible things."

His quick response tells you that he doesn't have a clue what exactly he would do if you went against his orders. It makes you smile and slowly pull out of his hold around you.

"Then, I should get back to work. And you should leave. I do not wish for you to get hurt in my workshop," you say, giving him a light shove towards your door as an instruction to leave.

"Will you be dining with me tonight?"

"If you leave now, then I shall, my love."

Gortash finds himself beaming at the pet name you have used for him and your acceptance for eating with him tonight again. He smiles to himself, not caring that he might be falling in love with you. For with you by his side, you two could be the most powerful couple in the land.

[goddessinnerglow]

Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 13

Financial Planning and Budgeting

Hello Goddesses! I know that talking about money, can feel scary or boring, but after working on our stress management tools yesterday, it's perfect timing to address something that's often a huge source of stress for many of us: finances.

First things first: if thinking about money makes you want to hide under your blanket, you're not alone. But taking control of your finances isn't about becoming a math genius or never buying another coffee again. It's about making friends with your money so it can help you live your best life.

Let's break this down into bite-sized pieces that won't give you a headache:

Start Where You Are

Remember when you first learned to ride a bike? You didn't start by doing tricks, you started with training wheels. Money management is the same way! First step: just look at your current situation. Open those banking apps you've been avoiding. Take a deep breath and look at your statements. Knowledge is power, even if it's a bit scary at first.

The Money Map Exercise

Grab a piece of paper (or open your notes app) and let's do something simple:

Write down all your income sources

List your regular monthly expenses (yes, including those sneaky subscriptions!)

Don't forget those irregular expenses like annual fees or seasonal costs

Look at what's left (or what's missing)

Congratulations! You've just created your first basic budget outline.

The 50/30/20 Guideline

Here's a popular way to think about your money:

50% for needs (rent, groceries, utilities)

30% for wants (fun stuff, shopping, entertainment)

20% for future you (savings, debt payment, investments)

These numbers might not work for everyone, especially depending on where you live. The important thing is to have some kind of plan that works for YOU.

Smart Money Habits You Can Start Today

The 24-Hour Rule: For non-essential purchases over a certain amount (you decide the number!), wait 24 hours before buying. You'd be surprised how many "must-haves" become "maybe nots" overnight!

Bill Calendar: Set up a simple calendar with all your bill due dates. Future you will be so grateful!

Automate Your Savings: Even if it's just $5 a week, set up automatic transfers to a savings account. It's like hiding money from yourself!

Track Your Spending: For just one week, write down every single purchase. No judging, just observing. You might find some surprising patterns!

The Emergency Fund Challenge

Let's start building that safety net! Even $500 in savings can make a huge difference in an emergency. Start with a goal of saving just $25 this week. Too much? Start with $10. Too little? Make it $50. The amount isn't as important as getting started.

Money Goals That Make Sense

Instead of vague goals like "save more," try specific ones like:

Save enough for three months of basic expenses by December 2025

Pay off one credit card by summer

Create a "fun fund" for that hobby you've been wanting to try

Your financial journey is exactly that, YOURS. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. The person on Instagram showing off their investment portfolio might still be paying off massive debt. Focus on your own path!

Your mission for today:

Look at your bank statement (I know, scary, but you can do it!)

Pick ONE money habit from this post to try this week

Set ONE specific financial goal for 2025

See you tomorrow for Day 14! Remember, every financial decision you make today is a gift to your future self.

[mountttmase]

Winter Sun - Chapter 2

Note - thank you so much for all the love on the first chapter 🥺 it was honestly so overwhelming like I’ve been sat on this series for so long and I can’t believe I’ve finally introduced you to my babies 🩷 I hope you like this chapter just as much and feedback is appreciated as always 😘

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 6.5k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

You’d made it home from Bens at around 11am the next day and you flopped onto the sofa as soon as you got back. The only thing on your mind was McDonald’s hash browns but the text from Mason distracted you instantly.

Another text never came, instead Mason was calling you and you let out a big breath, biting your lip to stop your smile before answering.

‘Morning Mase’

‘Morning morning. You still at Bens?’

‘No I got back like ten minutes ago’

‘Okay good. Now what’s it’s gonna take for me to convince you cause let’s face it you know I always get my way’ he laughed and you rolled your eyes cause you knew he was right. You were still unhappy about the amount of money it would cost him but if he was stupid enough to offer to pay for you then why weren’t you accepting? Chances like this didn’t come around very often and you knew you’d be miserable sat at home watching everyone else have fun.

‘I’ll talk to nads, alright? If she’s fine with it then I’ll consider coming’ you told him, not having the energy to argue anymore and the laugh and cheers coming from him made it worth it. ‘One condition though. Don’t tell anyone I want to surprise Carly at the airport’

‘Deal’

‘I also have another question. How are you gonna pay everyone back? I presume my part was split between everyone but that’s gonna be long for you to sort out surely’

‘So I have a confession’ he laughed and you knew you were about to hear something you wouldn’t like. ‘I’d already paid for you. I was hoping to try and convince you nearer the time’ he confessed, laughing like a small boy who’s just been caught with his hand in the sweet jar and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t find him endearing.

‘Mason’ you huffed, trying to fake scold him for his actions but it wasn’t working. He was too cheeky for his own good and you were too overwhelmed by the prospect of him wanting you to come so bad he paid for you without even asking.

‘What, it worked didn’t it?’ He told you. ‘Let me know as soon as nads says it’s okay and we can sort everything out’

‘I wanted to talk to you about something else too’ you asked carefully, not wanting to startle him but your conversation from last night was still playing on your mind. Even though he’d said he still felt the same as he had last night, you were still unsure.

‘Oh yeah? What’s that?’

‘This little arrangement we might have going on’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘I think we should set some ground rules’

‘Okay yeah, that’s fine. Why don’t you think about them and we can talk about them on the plane’

‘But I might not be sat next to you’

‘Oh muffin, I made sure you are’ he drawled, causing you to roll your eyes at his cockiness.

Once you were finally off the phone to Mason you called up Nads who was more than happy to take over the shop for a week. Letting you know that you deserve a break and that she was more than up for the challenge and by the way she spoke you felt a lot more at ease about the whole situation.

Everything after that was a bit of a blur. Having to buy everything you needed for your trip plus a few extras. Realising your underwear selection was pretty sparse and not exactly flattering and you wanted Mason to not be turned off instantly so you treated yourself to some new sets you thought he might like to see you in as well as some other clothes you thought he might like to take off of you.

The week passed by in a flash and soon enough you were on your way to the airport on your own. Excitement and nerves filled you as you’d never had to do this on your own before but once you were through security and through to the lounge you sent Mason a quick message.

You treated yourself to a solo breakfast before having a quick look around duty free so you could pick some snacks up and also some things for Mason. You knew you wouldn’t be here without him so you’d promised to treat him in different ways and you were just picking up a few bags of m&m’s when you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

You let him know you’d meet him outside the shop you were in and as soon as your eyes met his you felt your heart thud in your chest. He looked so cute in his comfy clothes and even though his hood was up you’d recognise him anywhere.

‘Hey muffin’ he smiled, pulling you into his chest and you knew your face was flushing which he only made worse by planting a kiss on your head. ‘I’ve left everyone in the first class lounge, you ready to go say hi?’

‘Okay’ you smiled, letting him lead you through the airport by your waist. You knew Mason was touchy but this was different. Normally he’d keep his hands where you could see them but you couldn’t deny you loved the feeling of being close to him as you chatted about your journeys. Your arm around his waist too and you knew to anyone looking it looked like you were a couple but you just went with it as you loved having him close ‘You go, I’ll be in in one sec’ you told him when you got to the doors and he eyed you curiously. ‘Need to make my big entrance’

‘See you in there’ he laughed, closing the door behind him and you waited 30 seconds before following him in. Thankfully they were all sat facing the other way and you used it to your advantage to surprise them.

‘Well well well. What the hell are you guys doing here?’ You asked in a sing-song tone, watching them all turn to you but it was Carly’s face you were focused on.

‘What the hell?’ She whispered, looking more shocked than you’d ever seen her as a smile began to take over her face.

‘You didn’t think I’d let you leave without me did you?’

‘You’re coming?’ She asked quietly, her bottom lip wobbling slightly and you just nodded as her face was getting you emotional yourself and before you knew it, she was throwing herself in your arms. You could feel her body shaking a little bit so you held her tighter as everyone else piled in for a group hug. ‘Mason, was this your doing?’ She laughed, looking for him in the big crowd of people and you could see how hard he was blushing, making your heart thump a little in your chest.

‘I just wanted everyone together’ he laughed as you all pulled away, watching Carly make a beeline for him so she could pull him into her arms. You knew she was saying something to him but you weren’t quite sure what so you went round and said hello to everyone else.

When you were called for boarding, you and Mason seemed to get separated but you managed to make it on the plane without him, eyes constantly checking to see if he was coming and around ten minutes after you’d sat down he made his appearance.

You watched on as he shrugged his bag off to pop in the overhead locker and you knew your face was probably bright red now as you caught a glimpse of his tummy when he reached up to shut the compartment. Clearing your throat as he finally took his seat next to you and could see he looked a little apprehensive but you didn’t want to pry.

‘You sure you’re fine sitting next to me? I bet Woody is missing you’ you mumbled but he shook his head as his brows pinched together slightly.

‘No, don’t be silly, I made sure I was next to you. I know if I was next to him or one of the others I’d wake up to a mouth full of peanuts or something’

‘Well I’ll try and keep my nuts to myself’ you joked, hearing him laugh properly for the first time that morning. ‘You sure you’re okay?’

He was playing with his fingers absentmindedly before he looked up at you and your heart almost broke at the vulnerability in his eyes. ‘I’m not the best flyer. I might not be the best company unless you can think of a way to distract me’

‘Well that’s perfect cause I’m not the best either’ you laughed, rolling your eyes to try and play off how nervous you actually were but his sympathetic smile settled you.

‘We can distract each other then’ he offered and you nodded back. Unable to form a proper sentence for some reason as his chocolate eyes were making you feel fuzzy.

You sat and chatted casually for a little while as the plane filled up. Watching the air hostess give her little safety speech and he was starting to open up with you a little more, relaxing back into his seat and soon enough the plane started to move but you felt the panic roll through you.

You went ridged instantly, linking your hands together for some form of comfort and you took a small deep breath to try and calm yourself but it was no use. You felt sick and hot and you could feel Masons eyes on you but you didn’t care. Too caught up In trying to calm your own nerves. You pulled your hands apart, one now gripping the arm rest as you bunched your hoodie up between your fingers in the other but the feeling of someone’s grip around your wrist snapped you from your thoughts.

Mason lifted your hand away from the arm rest, his fingers threading through yours carefully before giving your hand a gentle squeeze. You we’re looking at him the whole time but when his eyes flashed up to meet yours and he gave you a little wink, you could feel your heart thump in your chest. Not from the nerves this time.

You grabbed your clasped hands with your free one, pulling both into your lap before resting your head on his arm and you felt him give a little chuckle before leaning into you a bit more. His head resting on top of yours as the plane sped up which caused a small whimper to fall from your lips.

‘S’okay’ you felt him whisper into your hair as your free hand moved up his arm to hold it tight to you. ‘I promise you’re safe but just squeeze my hand as hard as you want, yeah?’

Under any normal circumstances and with anyone else you would of probably felt a bit weird grabbing onto them like you were but with Mason it felt normal and he was right, you were safe but that didn’t stop another tiny whimper falling from your lips as the plane finally left the ground.

You felt him press him lips to the top of your head, leaving them there as you squeezed him as hard as you could and by the way he was squeezing you back you knew he was scared too but the way he’d seemed to of pushed that to the side to comfort you made you smile even though you felt like you were about die.

You didn’t move until the plane had levelled out, even then wanting to stay wrapped up in him but you knew you’d have to move eventually and when you pulled back to look at him, his shy sympathetic smile melted you.

‘Sorry Mason, I-‘

‘You don’t need to be sorry, honestly it’s fine. Sort of took my mind off of me being freaked out’

‘I feel like such a wimp’ you laughed, going to pull your hand away from his but he squeezed a little tighter as if he didn’t want you to let go.

‘Do you mind?’ He asked quietly, nodding down to your linked fingers, a small smile taking over his face as he gulped nervously. ‘I think I still need the emotional support’

‘Okay’ you whispered, settling back in the seat as a comfortable silence came over you.

‘You uh, thought about those rules yet?’ He laughed, trying to calm you down and change the subject. Little did he know you’d been thinking about them a lot.

‘Of course I have’ you winked, reaching for your iPad and he looked at you with a curious expression.

‘Oh yeah’ he laughed, watching with wide eyes as you opened your iPad up and went to your notes app. ‘Please don’t tell me you’ve got them written down’

‘Well I didn’t want to forget any’ you scowled causing him to laugh.

‘Go on then, what are you thinking’

‘Well, I think the first one should be no random kissing. There needs to be the intention of it going somewhere or when we’re… you know’

‘But I like kissing you’ he pouted, the crease in his eyebrows more pronounced than you’d ever seen it. You liked kissing Mason too, the fact that he’d admitted it made your skin tingle but you knew it was for the best. This was meant to be a friends with benefits situation and friends don’t kiss like you and Mason had done. ‘Come on, what else are you gonna disappoint me with’

‘No cuddling after and no sleeping in each others beds’

‘Fine, then no lingering eye contact’ he argued back, wanting to try and get some of his rules in but you were happy with that one. Eye contact with Mason was like a drug and you weren’t sure you could keep your cool with him if it was happening often so you quickly added that one to the list.

‘No sex with anyone else’ you told him and he looked back at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

‘No teasing, playing games or flirting with anyone else’

‘What do you take me for’ you laughed, typing it in anyway. ‘No telling anyone either. And the most important rule?’

‘What’s that?’

‘No feelings. At all. The friendship comes first. Deal?’

‘Deal’ he laughed, taking your iPad from you so he could sign his name and you quickly took a screenshot so you could send it to him later.

The rest of the ride was plain sailing. You watched a few films together as you spoke about what was planned for the week. As you’d joined late, a lot of things had been booked already so he filled you in on a few activities that were booked and when you were about to come into land Mason made sure he held your hand just as tightly so you weren’t scared.

You all made it out of the airport in good time, splitting into two taxis and whilst you were in the same car, Mason sat up front with the driver whilst you sat in the back next to Carly with Ben on her other side as she let you know how excited she was to have you joining. She knew you hated talking about money though so thankfully she avoided the topic and soon enough you were pulling into the drive of a huge villa.

You felt intimidated by it immediately, nothing you could ever dream of staying in without Masons help and he must have seen you looking a little overwhelmed as he left a quick kiss on your forehead when no one was looking before sending you a cheeky wink.

The others arriveded ten minutes or so after you so you used the time to give the place a once over and it was just as pretty as the pictures Mason had sent you. You felt out of place the more you walked around and everytime Mason tried to catch your eyes you couldn’t meet them. Another car was pulling up soon enough so you followed Carly down to meet everyone else in the kitchen.

‘Right there’s three rooms upstairs and two downstairs. Who wants what?’ Carly asked as you all gathered together and Mason was first in to make his argument about who should go where.

‘I think the three couples should take the rooms upstairs and y/n and I can take the two downstairs. That way the two single people don’t have to listen to you lot getting it on at god knows what time’

‘That does make sense’ you laughed, secretly hoping everyone else agreed as it would make yours and Masons little arrangement a lot easier and you could tell from the little sparkle in his eye that he’d been thinking about this for a while.

‘But you’ll be far away from me’ Carly pouted, knowing she liked her room to be close to yours when she could but for this trip you were hoping to be as far away from her as possible.

‘I know, but it makes sense, as long as everyone’s happy with it? And I’ll come up and visit you all the time’ You tried to reason but Mason had made his mind up for everyone and began picking up your bags.

‘Come on, Y/n. I’ll help you with your stuff’ he winked before nodding his head in the direction of the stairs. ‘We can all meet back here in like an hour or so?’

‘Sounds good’ Dec called, already halfway up the stairs so he could pick the best room and you laughed as Carly chased after him to try and stop him.

Once you were downstairs Mason lead you to the two rooms, doors opposite each other and you let him pick first even though they were both the same before he dumped your bag in your room and looked up at you with a shy smile.

‘I’ll um… I’ll go sort my stuff out and then come and get you?’ He asked, eyes everywhere but on you and you nodded before clearing your throat awkwardly. The air feeling like it had shifted since you got here and with one final nod he was making his way across the hall.

Mason was right, it was beautiful here and you were happy you’d let him talk you into coming away with everyone as you put all your stuff away but you still couldn’t help but feel like a bit of an imposter. You were hanging up your last few shirts when you heard him move across the hall and you braced yourself for him to come and see you.

‘Knock knock’

‘Oh, hey Mase. You alright?’

‘Yeah just coming to see how you’re getting on. You all unpacked?’

‘Almost’ you smiled, turning to hang up the last thing as he sat himself on your bed.

‘Y/n?’ He called softly and you turned to see his unreadable expression.

‘Yeah?’

‘Can I kiss you?’ He asked timidly and even though you were a little shocked, you knew you’d have to let him down a bit.

‘Mase-‘

‘Yeah I know it’s against the rules but I feel like we’re being super awkward with each other and it might ease the tension a little’ he explained, kicking yourself that you’d be so transparent.

He was right, you were being a little stiff with each other and probably could do with something to calm each others nerves so you slowly walked over to where he was sat and stood in between his legs as he carefully touched the backs of your thighs.

‘One kiss. That’s it?’

‘One kiss’ he smiled, standing up slowly and once he was close enough you rested your hands on his chest as he gripped your hips.

He started out pressing a kiss to your cheek, a smile breaking out on your face as he slowly peppered them towards your mouth before he finally popped a quick peck on your lips.

‘What was that’ you giggled

‘A kiss’ he winked, feeling the pressure evaporate off the pair of you almost immediately. ‘Always leave them wanting more’ he teased, squeezing your hips once before pulling away from you. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine. Sorry I guess I feel a little out of place’

‘Well don’t, you’ve got as much right to be here as everyone else’

‘It just doesn’t feel like it right now I guess’

‘‘Well you’ve got time to settle your debts’ he winked, a coy smile on his face as he squeezed your arm reassuringly. ‘You ready to go up?’

‘I guess so’ you huffed, following him up to meet everyone else to discuss what to do for the rest of the day. As the pair of you were the last ones up you were told you had to go and do the food shop with Woody and Kayla whilst the others sorted everything out at the villa.

You should've known it was a bad idea as soon as you started shopping. Mason never taking his hands from your body as you gathered everything from your list and it was safe to say he was driving you wild. He always seemed to have to get something from next to where you were, moving you to the side with his hand on the small of your back or reaching around you with his lips on your neck.

Thankfully Woody and Kayla were so wrapped up in themselves they didn’t seem to care what the pair of you were up to and as they rounded the corner to the next aisle towards the end of your trip you felt Mason pull you back and press you up against the glass door of the freezer. You would have been shocked but the heavy kiss he planted on you made you forget about everything else for the moment.

‘Mase, we’ll get caught’ you whispered, lips brushing against his as you spoke but he just smiled and kissed you again.

‘Sorry, that last kiss wasn’t enough for me earlier. I need a little more’ he winked and you couldn't help but smile. Truth be told you needed a little more too so you let him get away with it.

‘Well you’ve got it, let’s go’ you giggled, sliding out from under his grasp before walking him round to Kayla and Woody who we’re starting to load it all up at the till.

‘We’re just doing somewhere local for dinner, you okay with that guys?’ Lauren asked when you all got back, letting you slip off to go and get changed into something a bit nicer before meeting everyone to leave.

Mason stayed at the back of the group as you walked to dinner, talking with Woody and Kayla and you stuck with Carly so she could let you know the plan for tomorrow. Apparently it was a pool day for the most part but they’d booked a table at a club in the evening and you already began planning your outfit in your head.

‘This seat taken?’ Mason asked, holding the back of the chair next to you as you all began to take your seat around the circular table once inside.

‘No, it’s yours if you want it’ you smiled up at him, secretly thankful that he’d be sat next to you as Carly was on the other side of you next to Ben and you knew they’d spend their time all over each other.

Mason spent most of the night with his arm casually slung around your chair and whilst it meant and looked like nothing to everyone else, you felt yourself turn shy at the small gesture. He picked up on it too, eventually pulling his hand away to place on your knee discreetly but that just made you feel even more shy so after a quick squeeze he kept his hands to himself.

‘I can’t wait to get back to the villa and get to bed, it’s been such a long day’ Lauren yawned, falling into Decs body so he could give her a little cuddle and you watched on with slight envy as the other girls got loved on by their boyfriends. Your eyes falling to the table as you played with your fingers and you wished you had someone to show you a bit of affection however it was too risky to look to Mason for that right now.

He was your friend, nothing more than that and there was no way he should be acting like the other boys were with their girls but you so wished he would.

You thought maybe he sensed it too, sneaking a glance up to him and he was already looking at you with sympathetic eyes before he sent you a wink. Letting you know that once you were back you could have him all to yourself.

You were silent on the walk back, you and Mason falling behind as the others walked hand in hand with their partners but the sudden feeling of Masons arm around your shoulder as he pulled you into his side made you smile.

‘You alright there muffin?’

‘I’m alright Mase’ you sighed, resting your head on his shoulder but he just squeezed you a little more.

‘Promise?’

‘Of course’

‘You tired or do you wanna hang out for a bit when we get back?’

‘We can hang out for a bit’ you nodded, knowing exactly what he meant and even though you were nervous to say the least, you didn’t want to be on your own for now.

Everyone was off to bed as soon as you got back and once you and Mason had made it down the stairs he nodded into his room and you followed without a word. Watching him climb into bed and hold his arms out for you and you let yourself melt into his body.

‘What’s wrong, Muffin?’ He asked gently. ‘You know we don’t have to do anything-‘

‘It’s not that’ you laughed. ‘I dont know, I guess I didn’t realise how different it would be going away with three couples when you’re single’

‘I get that’ he breathed, kissing the top of your head. ‘They’re all over each other aren't they? sometimes I just wanna tell them to let each other breathe’ he chuckled. ‘Don’t feel bad though, you’re mine this week okay? and I take care of what belongs to me’

‘Yeah yeah’ you laughed, rolling your eyes but you couldn’t deny it felt nice to be referred to as his.

‘I’m serious. And I’m also serious about us not doing anything unless you want to’

‘I do want to I just…’

‘What?’ He pressed gently, lips on your head as he spoke and you nestled into him further before speaking.

‘I’m just a little nervous’ you whispered. ‘I know we’ve had sex before but we were drunk and practically fully clothed. What if you don’t like-‘

‘I’m gonna stop you right there’ he laughed. ‘Sit up for me’ he told you, sitting up himself before plonking himself down opposite you.

You weren’t sure what was happening but when he reached for the neck of his top and pulled it off you weren’t sure where to look.

‘What are you doing?’ You asked, looking up into his face and the gentle smile on his face melted you.

‘Your turn’ he told you, head nodding to the off the shoulder crop top you had on and you thanked your lucky stars you’d changed into your strapless bra earlier so you weren’t bare chested straight away.

As soon as it was off, his eyes were looking over you hungrily as he bit his lip hard. His reaction boosting your ego slightly before he stood up and pulled you with him so he could unbutton his trousers and take them off. You’d seen him in shorts before but looking at him in his fancy green boxers was a whole other story and you felt your mouth go dry.

You didn’t wait for his instruction this time, slipping your thumbs into the waistband of your trousers and you pushed them over your hips before stepping out of them.

‘C’mere’ he whispered, holding his hand out for you to take and you let him pull you into his body. His warm skin touching yours for the first time and you were surprised about how smooth it felt under your fingers. Gripping his strong shoulders as he wrapped his arms around your waist before he lent down to kiss you.

He was taking his time, slowly brushing his lips against yours as his hands travelled down to your bum. Gripping it gently as he began to knead it and you felt your knees go weak from his touches.

You wanted to feel more of him though, feel his skin against yours so you reached behind your back to unclasp your bra before throwing it to the side and the feeling of his warm chest pressed against yours made you both sigh into each other's mouths. He was turning you on in a way you don’t think anyone ever had so when he turned you both a little and gently pushed you off and onto his bed you went with it and fell back gently.

You could tell he was happy with what he was seeing, his eyes raking over your chest as his bottom lip got trapped in between his teeth but he wanted you further up the bed. Nodding his head to encourage you to move up and into the centre before he knelt in between your legs.

‘I’ve got an idea’ he told you, hands gripping your thighs gently before giving them a little squeeze and you felt your heart thud in anticipation. ‘You still nervous?’

‘A bit, yeah’

‘Maybe we should do something to ease it then, yeah?’

‘What do you have in mind?’

‘Well, I was thinking. Why don’t you show me what you like’ he asked, eyes slowly trailing over your body before looking back into your eyes. ‘And I’ll show you how I like it’

You felt your cheeks flush immediately, wondering if he was really suggesting what you thought he might have been but when he brushed his fingers over the bulge in his boxers your suspicions were confirmed.

‘Oh, I don’t know mase’

‘I know it seems scary, but once we get going you’ll be fine’ he reassured, leaning over to place a soft kiss to your lips. ‘And I promise I’ll take good care of you after yeah?’ He spoke against your lips.

You felt yourself nodding, agreeing to his plans before you’d even really thought about it and when he reached for your underwear, you lifted your hips and let him pull them from your legs. Thinking if you could just get through this part then he’d give you what you wanted and the satisfied groan that fell from his lips as he finally caught sight of you fully undressed made you shiver. The sound travelling straight in your ears and down your spine to your core.

‘You want me to go first?’ He asked, sounding almost breathless as he continued to touch himself over his boxers so you nodded to let him know he was good to go, hoping seeing him playing with himself would give you the boost you needed.

You kept your eyes on his until he hooked his thumbs under his boxers and pushed them down. Watching his hard length spring free and slap his tummy gently and you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed.

Yes you’d felt him before but you never really got to see him. And he was big. Intimidatingly so and when he took himself into his hand and started to pump himself you almost lost it.

It’s like you were in a trance, your eyes watching his hand go up and down, drinking in the noises he was making before his free hand reached for yours in an attempt to position it where you’d follow suit and even though your cheeks were burning you went with it. Shutting your eyes as your fingers brushed over where you needed some relief.

The moans pouring from your lips only appeared to be spurring him on, eyes never leaving where your fingers were so he could memorise the way you touched yourself for later but soon enough it all became too much for him. Slowly tearing your hand away so he could line himself with your entrance and once a whimper had fallen from your lips he was gently pushing his way in.

‘Fuck’ he stuttered, closing his eyes as he moved his hips, picking his pace up almost straight away like he couldn’t contain himself and you relaxed into the sheets as he laid his body on yours. Face nuzzled in your neck as you wrapped your arms around him but it was almost as if it was over before it started. Mason moving his body up before removing himself from you and taking himself back into his hand so he could release himself over your tummy.

‘Shit shit shit’ he spat, his breathing heavy as he looked at what he’d done but you couldn’t catch his eyes to make him talk to you.

‘Mase?’ You asked, looking up to his blood red face that was full of embarrassment and when his eyes finally met yours you felt your tummy drop. He looked humiliated and scared, like you’d were about to throw him out for cumming too quickly but that was the last thing on your mind.

‘fuck I’m so sorry I couldn’t hold it’

‘Mase it’s fine-’

‘No it’s not, Jesus Christ’ he interrupted, his hand scratching the back of his neck. ‘You can tell it’s been a while huh’ he laughed awkwardly, grabbing his shirt so he could clean you up a bit. ‘There you were worrying I wouldn’t like what I saw, you’re too attractive clearly. My dick can’t take it’

‘What about last time’ you laughed, referring to your little escapade on Ben’s sink and whilst it wasn’t the longest time you’d ever gone it wasn’t as short as this.

‘I had whisky dick last time. Normally I can’t even get it up when I’ve had that much to drink so the fact I fucked you is actually pretty impressive I’ll have you know’ he laughed shyly before slipping down next to you. ‘Look just lay back so I can finish you off yeah?’

‘You don’t have to’

‘Well I do. Won’t leave any of my customers unsafisfied with my service’ he winked, a strange feeling settling in your tummy at his words but in the end you just laughed him off.

‘Mase that’s gross’ you told him but you were soon silenced as he pressed his lips to yours whilst hooking his leg around yours to keep them apart before plunging his fingers into you with no prior warning.

You thought he might try and get you to your high quickly so you could leave after what he’d done but if anything he was taking his time. Slowly pulsing his fingers inside of you as he stared straight into your eyes and the change in pace made you dizzy.

‘Mase, p-please’ you stuttered, grinding your hips down onto his hand in hopes you’d feel the friction a bit more but the teasing smile on his lips made you shiver.

‘What is it, muffin?’

‘Faster please’

‘Oh I don’t think so’ he whispered, leaning down so he could place a kiss on your lips ‘remember last time? I said I wanted to take my time with you but we couldn’t. So I’m gonna take my time with you now okay?’

‘Okay’ you nodded, knowing he’d get his own way anyway so you let him have you as he wanted. Moving himself in between your legs so he could rest his forehead on yours but the eye contact was proving too intense for you, not to mention it was against the rules, so you shut your eyes just before you felt him kiss you again.

‘You think I can have a taste?’ He asked, lips dancing across your cheek as you nodded, your legs shaking in anticipation as he kissed his way down your body. Seemily wanting to cover every inch of your skin with his lips all whilst his fingers still worked away inside of you but soon enough he was where you needed him. Kissing all over your thighs until you couldn’t take it anymore so you gently threaded your fingers through his hair so you could move him. Feeling him chuckling against you before the warmth of his tongue finally made contact with your clit.

‘Fuck Mase’ you shuddered, fingers gripping his hair even harder so you could ride his tongue. Thinking you may be pushing it a bit far but the way his free hand was roaming your skin let you know he was enjoying it just as much. Touching as squeezing every part of you he pleased and the warmth of his hand made it all feel more intense.

You reached your high soon after, arching your back off the bed as he rode you through it before you slumped back down. Chest heaving as you came back to reality but Mason settling himself next to you made you smile.

‘I’m sorry about earlier, hopefully that made up for it’ he laughed, pressing a kiss to your forehead and making you chuckle.

‘I guess we can call it even now’

‘Do you think you might have another one for me?’ He asked seductively, lips by your ear before he kissed your neck. ‘I think I might have enjoyed eating you out a little too much’ he told you. Taking your hand so you could feel him again and to your surprise he was as hard as a rock.

‘I think I might, yeah’ you winked, lips reaching up to his so you could kiss him again as you both got lost in each other once more.

y/n

liked by masonmount, okaylaaa, decalnrice and others

y/n out of office activated ✅

view comments

masonmount plane pals 🤜🏻🤛🏻

y/n thank you for keeping me sane 😊

carlywlms_ I still can’t believe you’re here 🥹

y/n believe it baby 🤭

laurenfryer_ THE GANGS ALL BACK TOGETHER

y/n LET THE FUN BEGIN 🤪

declanrice Mason is such a baby

y/n are just jealous you couldn’t hold his hand like normal?

decalnrice 🤐

__nads have the best time 🩷 i promise to look after your baby with my life 🧁

y/n thank you 🥰 just call me if you need me!

__nads girl relax I got this 😉

lukeshaw23 thanks for the invite

masonmount I’ll bring you back something nice 😏

declanrice 😘

woody_ hope Mason didn’t hurt your hand 😭 could hear you squealing from three rows away

masonmount yes cause I was the one that caused it 🙄

y/n sorry Mase ☹��

Tagged: @footiehoemcfc @prideofpd @yoursselo @chelseachilly @willow-writer-ivy @mm-vii @katharinanadiaa @mmountseb @carlottawllms @saltyheartnightmare @masonmtxo @harvestmount @chillymountsjess @treblebluesblog @pulisicsgirl @bluesswift @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps

[ijwrsmff]

Yandere! Vander x Reader

A request I got in DMs =~= It took a while to get to it, but here's the second story of the day! I got inspiration and knocked it out. I gotta head to work soon, but I hope y'all enjoy it!

Tw; swearing and yandere-typical behavior.

Word Count: 1,297

You didn’t think anything was wrong…at first. You were a good bit older than Vander’s kids, and they became like your own as well. They were a rowdy bunch, and you considered yourself just as much of a cool parent as Vander was. Although he could be much more strict than you. Never wanting the kids to “risk” their lives or legal action when going topside. 

After a while, you began to go with them. Just in case things went awry. Vander wasn’t aware of it for a while, but when he found out he was livid. It was a side of him you rarely saw. Initially, you thought he was mad at you for taking the kids on a risky mission to help him afford their living expenses, but no. He was mad for something entirely different. 

“The hell is wrong with you?” It wasn’t an angry yell, but rather a venomous mutter. “You’re risking your life for a few coins, don’t you know how dangerous that is?” He walked closer, and you stood your ground. You would defend those kids, and yourself against him. It wasn’t the first time, but it still made you anxious. But in your heart, you knew he’d never hurt you or those kids. 

“How else are we gonna pay for everything? It’s not like running this place is cheap, we know you’ve been struggling with it.” As he walked towards you, his look became even more…unhinged. “We’re just trying to help, and I wouldn’t ever let those kids hurt at the cost of my own life.” You decided to play his game and take a step closer, but you were completely caught off guard by his next action. 

He grabbed you, not roughly by any means, but enough to keep you in place. He was stronger than you, by far. You knew no matter how much you struggled he would only let you go when he allowed it. “That’s the whole problem. You baby them too much, they can take care of themselves. Especially Vi. She’s the oldest, she’ll make sure they don’t get hurt. You, on the other hand, are weak. Sensitive, and naive.” He leaned forward and his look turned softer. “You’re better off to stay here with me.” 

You glared at him, and ended up trying to take a step back to get some space, but he didn’t let you. “Vander, they’re still kids. If you’re not going to go with them to make sure they’re safe then I will.” Your gaze almost faltered, but you tried to show your determination in that look. Even as you could see the wheels turning in his mind, you tried to show you were brave enough to stick up to him. 

“No…no you won’t.” His voice was soft, and it was clear he came to a decision. Without another word from him, he dragged you to the basement of your home, where you stayed with him and the kids. “I figured something like this might happen eventually…” Despite your words of protest there would be no way to stop him with how strong he was. 

The basement was a place no one was allowed, and only Vander had the key. Not that anyone could get in or out without help from several, with how big and heavy the door was. It was almost like a vault, and you and the kids had always thought it was a place where he kept the finds that wouldn’t sell, or a place with items of significant value to Vander. Even now…that might still be what it’s used for. 

But those thoughts were halted when he opened the door to find a large room. A fridge, kitchen, bed, closet, and desk. “Vander…what is this?” You looked around the room, which was almost like its own home although in a single room and looked at him in confusion. He wasn’t…going to keep you here…right? “Vander?” He wasn’t answering, but his eyes looked full of resolve. 

He thought long and hard about his words, and eventually dragged you to the bed and shoved you down. “Don’t worry…you’ll be safe here. No risk, no threats, any of it. You have everything you need. Food and water, a bed to sleep in, and most importantly…me.” He smiled softly, and eventually headed back to the door. “I’ll come see you every day, I promise. You’ll love it here. It’s not much, but it’s the best I have.” 

He opened the door, and you screamed as you rushed at him. “Vander you bastard! Let me out of here!” As you swung, he turned around and grabbed your fist. His look was calculating, and you couldn’t make out what he was thinking. “The kids will know something is up! They won’t just let you trap me here like this!” It was the best defense you had, but he didn’t seem to care. 

“People go missing in the lanes all the time. They’ll be sad you’re gone, but they’ll be okay. They’re tough kids.” He grabbed both your arms, preventing you from screaming again and said, “I can take care of them. Just as I can take care of you. I can even teach you to cook some of the dishes you like me to make for you.” He smiled for half a second before going to his usual cold expression. 

“Vander you’re crazy! You can’t just keep me here like some sort of prisoner!” You kicked him, but he wasn’t phased. Within seconds, you were on the ground several feet away from the door. “LET ME OUT OF HERE!” You rushed at him once more, but he was already out of the door as you banged against it. 

Within days, your will was nearly broken. He came in, talked to you and left. Every night. You became silent at some point, and simply did whatever he said. Ate when he told you to, slept when he told you to, anything. Hoping that eventually, he would let you see the kids again. He talked about them a lot, how they would still go topside to get some extra coins. How they missed you, but grew closer to them when they realized they could lose him too. 

After several days, of which you lost count, you were completely broken. When he entered, your eyes were glazed over. He smiled, and touched your cheek. You didn’t even flinch anymore. He talked to you, or rather at you, but you couldn’t form words. Those kids…they missed you. You considered them your own. And Vander…you loved him. You did before, but did you now? It was hard to say. 

Before he left, you walked up to him as he approached the door. The only words you could think to say, sat on your tongue as he looked back at you. This was the first time you’d willingly touched him without him prompting it. He turned, and smiled, but the smile was small when he heard your words…

“Vander…Please…Let me go.” Tears had fallen for days and days prior, there were none left for you to shed. Broken was the only word that seemed fitting of you. And even as he replied, you couldn’t find it in you to cry, or scream, or do anything, really. 

“Not before…not now…not ever.” He turned and kissed the top of your head, and left. 

This was your life now. Sitting alone, your only contact with another living soul being from the man you loved. In some form or another. He was all you needed…he was all you wanted. Sitting and waiting for him to come back, didn’t seem so bad. He loved you so much he couldn’t bear to let you go. And maybe…just maybe…

You didn’t want him to. 

[sofasoap]

Heartbreak

Pairing : Din Djarin x f!reader. slight description of injuries on Reader otherwise no other physical descriptions.

Summary: The only time Din says no to you. Din sucks at communication.  Part 1 of the Series.

Slightly AU-ish, he didn't get N1 after Razor Crest got blown up. he got something similar.

Warning: Mature theme. strong languages. angsty. 

A/N : I seem to be writing all the Din fic for the University students at moment to push them on ( Trust me, I know your pain. been there done that)   @groguspicklejar  and @deakyjoe, this is for both of you. GET YOUR ASSIGNMENTS GOING!!

MASTERLIST For sequel to this series

Din couldn't say no to you.

First time he met you, you were a mechanic work in a dingy workshop on the planet of Coruscant.

Din can sense you don't belong there at all.  You were too... pure? Radiating this aura that has him guessing you were originally from a good family,  slight Naboo accent seeping through as you speak, no matter how much you try to hide it. Judging from the huge scar you have running from the base of your jaw towards the bridge of your nose, you must have a story behind how you end up here. But it's not for him to probe. Everyone has their own secret.

"Alright, Mandalorian,All those carbon scorings we have tried and removed, that is no problem. But, " You wipe your sweat away from your face as you reading the report from the holopad of all the damages to him. " Your Hyperdrive is on its way out. It's a miracle it actually lasted this long." Lowering your voice, " I have replaced few parts here and there as well, it's on the house. Just don't tell my boss." You winked.

Din insisted on paying for the extra components. But again, you wouldn't budge, saying you manage to reuse the parts you salvage from other older imperial ships that has been sitting in the corner of the workshop , for makers knows how long. " It's taking up space anyway. you are actually doing as a favour getting rid of it."

He couldn't say no.

Thanking you, he went on his way.

Two cycles later, he is back again.  To the same shop.

This time he can sense something is different.

The owner came out and greet him. Different person, Din noticed.  Part of him wonder if you were still there.

The owner yelled towards the corner, your head popped out from the speeder you were working on. Spotting Din with the owner, your eyes went wide slightly as you hurryingly came and answer his call.

"Hello Mandalorian, I see your back again. Your hyperdrive is still functioning?" Din was surprised you still remember him. But then, how many Mandalorians are left out there around the galaxy?

He watches you as you walk around with the holopad, running diagnostics. Tapping away, you were mumbling something to yourself, making a few notes as you go along. You look sadder, more tired. You are not as happy.

Same as last time, You explain to Din the hyperdrive is still the main problem, also the most important thing, Carbonite freezer is leaking. This is going to cost him quite a bit , he sighed, but both important components for his ship he just have to throw the money in and get it done.

"I am sorry I wouldn't be able to give you any freebies this time... my.. new boss.. isn't as nice." You lowered your voice.

That confirms his suspicion.

Few days later, after the repair has been done, you begged Din to take you with him as your owner was not looking.

" I am not a taxi service." 

" Please, I will work for free, I can maintain your ship.. I have enough credits I can take care of myself.. I wouldn't be a bother. I just need to get away from here."

The way you were looking at him, how can he say no?

He later thanked himself for it.

Din was suppose to drop you off at some mid-rim planet as per agreement, but time goes on, he feel comfortable with your presence. Not only you were an excellent mechanic, saves him a lot of time and credit to find a planet with a decent workshop, you worked your miracle to keep the ship flying with no problem.  You can even cook, keeping the ship nice and clean, Din even trust you with his weapon maintenance as time goes on.

Along came the little green munchkin.

You ease into the role of caretaker smoothly.  

Hell, what else can you not do? You take care of the child like your own.  Taking care of his needs, feeding him, cleaning him, teaching him lessons, history of galaxy, sciences, mathematics. Din not quite sure how much the baby really understand or taking in, but he love watching your interaction with the child.   Reminds him memories of his own childhood, whatever little bit of memory he has left with his birth parents before the attack.  

He especially loves it when you recite stories and sing songs to the child.

Your angelic voice.

"Sorry Mando, Do you mind if we can buy more books or holopads of stories and lessons so I can teach the child? I still got enough credit I wouldn't waste any of yours.." You timidly ask him one day.

He ended up paying for the the stuff you asked for. How can he say no to you?

The longer you spend with him, you feel there was something simmering between you two, but never acknowledged. Both of you were too scared to say something, to break the equilibrium, breaking that little temporary happiness the three of you formed, a family. Clan of three. Clan mudhorn.

He gave you a vibroblade once,

“ For protection. Blaster isn’t always going to be effective.” He commented. 

You turn the blade over, you notice the corner of the handle, there’s a mudhorn signet engraved on it. 

You want to ask him about it, but he already walked off after you look back up at him.

You were hurt. Din was hurt.  There seem to be a gap between you two after Grogu has left for the Jedi training.  Both of you were trying your hardest to recover from the emptiness. You kept yourself busy doing work around the ship as per usual, but Din, already a man without too many words, seems to shut himself out from you even more than before.

He doesn't want you anymore. Just like your family.  You are no more use to him. Mind is a dangerous thing.   

This is for the best.

" Mando... We need to talk."

 "......" " I been thinking..." 

"......"

"it's time for me to leave." " NO."

"what is the point of me staying when Grogu isn't here anymore?" 

" NO."

" Why not??? You been ignoring me since Grogu left... As if I don't exist! Just let me go Mando... please.. " you sobbed.

You left that night. Despite him saying No.

Din thought Grogu's departure broke his heart, your departure absolutely tore his heart out.  

But who can he blame apart from himself for pushing you away?  His clan of three has fallen apart. 

“Hey Mando! I see you are back with your little green thing!! Come to Aunt Peli!!”  Grogu happily ran towards Peli, jumping into her hug. 

Din’s heart healed a bit after Grogu returned from his Jedi training. But there’s still an empty part in his heart that can only be filled by you. 

“So what is the problem this time round Mando? Hyperdrive again? You are in luck! I have someone new started working for me lately, she is absolute master fixing old imperial space junk like your ship!”  Din rolled his eyes. 

A voice piped up behind an old engine. 

“ I wouldn’t say I am total expert Peli, it just happen I have a lot of.........”  

Din snapped his head towards owner of the voice. 

It was you. 

You froze on the spot once you spotted Din. 

Grogu let out a happy squeal and jumped out from Peli’s lap and ran towards you with his little short leg.  You crouched down and scoop up the little child that you admit you miss so much. He let out happy coo and noises, as if trying to express his happiness to see you and trying to tell you all the things been happening since you last saw him.

“ I know little pea... I miss you a lot too. Have you had a good time with Master Luke?”

“ ... Why are you here.”

You turn your attention back towards Din.  Frowning at his accusation tone, you stood up and face him. 

“ I work here. That is why.” 

Peli walked over and carefully extract Grogu from your embrace. 

“ Come on you little thing.. Aunty Peli got some sweets for you... let the adults talk.”  Shooting you two a glance, she walked off with Grogu into the office while all the droids followed her. 

Din clenching his fist. Part of him was glad he has finally found you, by pure accident, and the stubborn part of him was furious you left without a proper goodbye, or even, left even without his permission.

“Why did you leave.”

“ I thought i stated it very clearly that night, Mando.” 

You know his real name. but you never use it.  He hates that. It put that extra distance between you two. 

“ I didn’t give you permission to leave.”

You point a finger at his chest and spit out with anger “ OH, So I need permission from YOU to leave? What are you? My master and I am your slave?”  Din flinched, him and his damn mouth.  

“I will fix your ship up. After that. Leave me alone.”  You turned around, walking towards his ship, trying to end the conversation. 

” ... have you still got the blade.” You heard him asking as you walk off. 

”..... yes.” 

You were going to leave it on the ship the night you left, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. 

Take it as a souvenir. Something to remember him by.  You said to yourself.  You try to convince yourself. 

But you know the only thing you left behind that night was pieces of your broken heart. 

I was going to leave it as sad ending but I think someone will kill me if I did... * looking at  @deakyjoe * I might do a part 2 to this tomorrow. 

Thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated :D 

[noroi1000]

Lost sparkle in the eyes 2

SatoSugu x reader

Warnings: mentioned disease

Words: 2k

@yukiji7w7

"Do not get up."

Satoru rushed over to you, grabbing your sides. Holding you, he gently placed you back on the mattress. Pillows under your head.

"My back hurts, Toru..."

"Give you a massage? More pillows?"

"I'd like to get up..."

"You can not."

"But..." You stopped.

Why are you arguing with him? You're not going to win against them anyway...

You still feel bad about what you did to them... But they... They forgave you, didn't they? You didn't want them to forgive you...

You wanted to die.

And they, as always, prevented you from decorating something bad...

"Shoko has forbidden us to let you get up for any length of time. You can only get up for a minute a day. That's all for now. You cannot exercise. Because you're too weak, and your body hasn't healed yet."

"I feel better now..."

"Better? Better?! You're on drips, we gave you blood because you nearly bled out! You fell 30 goddamn meters! You had broken limbs! Skull! Ribs! Damaged internal organs! I can't forget what I saw! I can't forget what Shoko said about your body! You have a spinal injury that cannot be repaired...! If we tried, the reverse cursed technique could accidentally damage your spinal cord! You would die! That's what you call feeling better?! It is not so easy to recover from this, even for sorcerers!"

His hands hit the mattress next to you. His mouth twisted in anger as he approached you.

"Is it really good for you? Can you really feel better after all this so quickly? No you can't... Because I still can't feel better. Do you think we can trust you after all this?"

"I wouldn't want you to trust him... I wanted you to hate me... If I were dead, I wouldn't need to trust you now... But you... Why must you always take care of me... Why always prefer me over you?"

"Shut up! Don't say anything!" he shouted. His jaw clenched.

Perhaps it was your hoarse voice, but it annoyed him. That you said...

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I did this to you... But it was the only way to make you hate me... Because if you hated me, it would be easier for him to kill himself... Without the remorse that you will mourn for me..."

"If you don't want to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, listen to us, okay?"

You nodded.

"Oh, baby, we really mean well for you." He leaned in to kiss your cheek.

"I know."

"Don't be angry with us. We just don't want anything to happen to you. Especially now when something could happen."

"I know."

"(y/n)..."

You looked at him as he said your name.

"Remember we love you." He kissed your lips softly before getting up and leaving the room.

As his tall silhouette disappeared behind the wall, you began to cry, wiping your tears with your hand.

What was it for?

Now you can die in their hands...!

You will live in pain!

Why did you do it anyway? Why did you want to die?

Now there won't be any moment where you can indulge yourself with fun... You won't be able to fall because you might get worse. Especially when you fall on your back.

If you don't listen to them, you'll be in a wheelchair.

If something happens, you'll be paralyzed at least from the waist down...

At what cost did you have to hear that they love you?

It's not fair that you had to pay almost your life to find out that since they take such good care of you, you are the most important thing to them.

You had to die in their hands to know that they love you.

Once you overstrain yourself, you may never get up on your own again.

And because you thought they'd never love you, now you regret your mistakes.

You can't stop them from loving each other.

Especially since they love you just as much.

You put your hands on your face to hide your tears.

And at that moment, Satoru entered the clothes room.

"(y/n)? What happened?" he asked, panicking a bit.

He walked over to you, stroking your head.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to make you sad!" He said seeing your shoulders tremble.

He sat next to you, leaning in to hug you.

"Sorry."

Your hands shot out to hug him.

"I'm the one who's sorry... I don't want to live like I have to..." You moaned, pressing your face into his neck.

"We can't turn back time. If we could, we would. For us, the most important thing is that you are with us. Whole and safe. And that we know you'll live. Without the threat of losing you forever..." he said softly. "You want to go outside?"

"I can't feel my legs..." you muttered.

"I'll carry you. To get some air."

As he said this, his hands gently grabbed the needle that was stuck in your vein and pulled it out, turning off the drip.

He pulled you out from under the covers and put shoes on your feet. And also a jacket.

You didn't know if it was hot or cold outside.

But you know for sure it's not winter.

You guess...

He lifted you up gently, being careful not to put pressure on your back.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him as he pulled the hood over your head.

You felt like you were a child and he was making sure you didn't catch a cold.

Was it that cold?

He also put on his thin jacket. However, he walked in it all the time. It was his sorcerer's uniform.

You sat on his forearm as he held you with both hands.

And when he came down the stairs with you, he opened the door to show you that the garden was covered with a cold white fluff.

Why was there snow here?

How long have you been in a coma? How long have you been home?

"I'm kind of happy to finally be able to take you outside, but I'm also worried." He said with a small smile. "Tell me if you feel cold."

"...Is it winter already?" You asked quietly.

"You know... It's been half a year..." he said with a very slight smile.

You widened your eyes.

"We've been waiting half a year for you to regain your strength. And also for you to finally smile at us."

He looked at you with a gentle smile.

Half a year?

How has half a year gone by?

Have you really lost track of time?

You were barely conscious for a while when you woke up. That's all you remember. But so much time has passed.

"But at least you're smiling at us now." He said happily.

He stared at his face.

So happy, but sad at the same time.

You leaned in and kissed his cheek before resting your head on his shoulder.

"What?" He asked.

"what?" you giggled as you cuddled up to him.

"If you wanted a kiss, you could have said."

You lifted your head and he placed his lips on yours.

So that later you can lay your head on his shoulder again.

"You're not too cold?"

"No... I want to stay a while longer..."

"Suguru will be back soon. Probably in a while." he put his jaw on your head, giving you some warmth.

You hid your hands in the sleeves of your jacket.

His hands were so warm on your body...

"Shall we wait for him?"

"Will you last that long?"

"Will you give me a bath later?"

"Yeah."

For 10 minutes he walked with you in the snow-covered garden so as not to stand still.

It wasn't snowing, so you could be outside.

Plus, you were lying on top of him, his warmth giving you some warmth.

You were silted up.

You reacted to everything with a short delay.

Even when Suguru came back and approached you.

You saw them kissing to say hello.

You wanted too...

And then you waited.

Suguru's lips were placed gently on yours.

"Good morning Baby. I'm back." He said placing his forehead against yours.

You smiled slightly at him.

"Let's go back home. She's a little cold." He said placing his hand on your cheek while your nose was slightly red.

"Can you take her? I promised her a bath." Satoru said once you were inside.

Satoru's hands were replaced by Suguru's as he sat down in the chair, taking off your shoes and his with one hand as you sat hugging him.

Not once did he put his foot on the floor.

You took off your jacket with his help.

And then he went with you to the bathroom. You saw that the large bathtub was full of hot water, the water was tinted slightly pink with bubbles.

"What do you think?" White Haired man asked, reaching over to start taking off your clothes.

As he reached for your shirt, you clenched your hands around Suguru blushing.

They laughed at your reaction.

"Honey, we've been dressing and washing you for almost six months. We've seen you naked many times already." Geto said, whispering in your ear.

You put your head deeper into his shoulder.

Giggling quietly, they slowly undressed you.

Then, when you were naked, you landed in Satoru's arms, and you curled up with a red face.

As you looked back at Suguru, you quickly turned around when you saw that he was just standing there naked.

You heard the splash of water.

And then Satoru moved your body, and before you could do anything, he handed you over to Suguru sitting in the tub. It's like you weigh nothing.

You held onto his arms tightly as you feared you would fall.

But to put you gently in the tub, he sat on the edge, and he didn't hold you with his hands alone.

That's why you didn't fall out on him.

But Geto's hands took you over.

And you were gently placed in the warm water between his legs.

You wanted to pull away because when you were close to him you could feel something touching your back. And you knew what it was...

But he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting you against his broad chest as the water came up to your shoulders.

Gojo next to him was undressing. That's why you turned around again. And then you couldn't because the water rose as he stepped inside the tub.

His knees came up as he sat in front of you.

Suguru's legs were slightly bent, underwater.

Satoru's legs over Suguru's legs.

And your legs were placed on Satoru's thighs for you to lie down.

While they wash your body gently using the foam that was in the water.

"You look lovely." Satoru said.

You thought he was talking to Suguru, but he was looking in your direction.

Maybe it's because you blush all the time?

Yes. This is definitely it...

"You have a lovely face. You don't have to be ashamed of us." He said as he stretched your one leg out of the water and washed your thigh with foam.

And Suguru was moving his arms around your sides.

"She looks like she's about to fall asleep, Sugu."

"She's practically falling asleep on top of me already." Suguru chuckled softly, feeling you lean against his body, lying motionless on top of him.

Your eyes were slightly closed as their hands moved pleasantly over your skin.

Satoru pecked your lips suddenly.

"Good night honey. We love you."

"I love you..." you mumbled in your sleep, making them smile.

[lemurlegs]

Bewitched

Hi everyone!! This is my first fanfic I've ever written so it's probably not gonna be too great, but I had this idea festering in my brain for months and I just need to get it out into the world. Also if some sentences seem a bit strangely worded or there's some grammar mistakes bare with me, English isn't my first language.

That being said I just want to say a few things before we start this journey. So this is more of an OC fic then a y/n fic. I don't want to say much about her character since you guys will learn about it later, but there are a few things to note before starting off.

Her name is Elizabeth but uses a fake name with is Ginger. She was born in 1539, and she died of foxglove poisoning. That's all you need to know for know.

Wordcount: 3.5k

Also a few warnings: swearing, murder, death, torture, stabbing.

Chapter 1.

I Payed Off The Reaper And It Only Costed Me My Soul

As you lie on the cold, unforgiving hardwood floor of your apartment, a chill crawls up your spine, matching the coldness creeping into your veins. Your once-steady heartbeat falters, each thud weaker than the last, as if whispering its farewell. The room spins in a dizzying whirl, blurring the edges of reality, a cruel trick played by the poison coursing through you. Your trembling limbs betray you, shaking uncontrollably, as if bidding farewell to the world above. With each shallow breath, you feel the darkness beckoning, pulling you down into its silent depths, offering solace in the embrace of oblivion.

Your senses reel as consciousness returns, greeted by a sharp stab of pain in your back. Gradually, you rise to your feet, wincing as you gingerly assess the source of the discomfort. Eyes adjusting to the surroundings, you find yourself standing in an open field, the sky ablaze with hues of crimson, casting an otherworldly glow upon the landscape. A single road stretches out before you, disappearing into the horizon.

"So this is what hell looks like, huh?" You mumble to yourself. You always knew you would end up down here one day. Certainly didn't think it would be your "loyal" apprentice who would cause your demise.

You were a powerful witch, powerful enough to avoid the cold hands of death. You made sure to prolong your mortal existence by performing intricate rituals and potent spells. Anything to not face them again.

While your spells certainly made sure you wouldn't die of old age, in fact wouldn't really age at all, you were still vulnerable to other types of deaths. For example, the little witch you've been training that had oh so graciously poisoned you this morning.

With a cautious hand rubbing your tender back, you take your first steps forward, embarking on a journey into the unknown under the watchful gaze of the scarlet sky.

A sense of urgency propelling you forward, you choose to follow the road ahead, leading towards the promise of civilization. As you tread the asphalt path, your senses remain heightened, scanning the horizon for any sign of life while silently praying that your pursuers remain far away from you. They must know you're down here now, you just hope they don't know your exact location.

After a half-hour trek, the sight of a sprawling cityscape emerges, it’s bustling energy pulsating like a beacon of hope in the distance. A sense of relief washes over you as you take in the towering buildings and labyrinthine streets. "Perfect," you whisper to yourself, here you can definitely hide away for a while.

As you walk down the city streets you finally have the time to observe your surroundings. How interesting all the sinners looked, and how similar this city was compared to the ones topside.

Gazing down at your hands, you're struck by the startling transformation that has taken place. No longer the familiar appendages you once knew, they now resemble claws, sharp and menacing, as if longing to sink into flesh with every twitch of your fingers. A sense of surrealism washes over you as you take in the sight of your newly acquired extremities, a stark contrast to the hands you once relied on.

Turning your attention to your behind, you're greeted by the unexpected sight of a fluffy fox tail, swaying rhythmically with each step you take. It’s russet hue stands out against the backdrop of the urban landscape, a hellish addition to your newfound form. You wonder what other strange features you've gained, do you also have fox ears?

In the midst of your bewildered observation, a sudden onslaught of hands ensnares you, their grip firm and unyielding. Panic courses through your body as ropes constrict around your body, binding you in a suffocating embrace. A gasp is stifled by the rough pressure of a hand clamped over your mouth, silencing any attempt at an outcry. Darkness descends as a blindfold is forced over your eyes, robbing you of sight and further disorienting your senses.

With a surge of primal instinct, you thrash and struggle against the unseen captors, desperation fueling your futile attempts at liberation. Yet, despite your efforts, their grasp remains steadfast. You recognized them immediately, your old coven members, who else could it be? They must have used a tracking spell to locate you, that's why they knew where to find you the moment you fell. Those bastards. They shoved you into a vehicle, your body still bound by what you assume are some anti magic ropes, since you can't use your powers. Escaping now would be impossible.

After a few minutes of travel, the car came to a halt, and your old coven members forcibly pulled you out, their grips unyielding. You realized the urgency of escaping this predicament. Given your past with the coven, forgiveness wasn't on their agenda, and what you did to them? Well, they sure as hell would want payback.

You were ushered into a chilling chamber, momentarily released before being bound at the wrists with heavy shackles, suspended from the ceiling. Only then, as the blindfolds were removed, did you behold the revenge etched upon their faces. Ten of your former coven members stood before you, clad in their ritual cloaks—dark brown fabric adorned with bloodstains, their signature hoods concealing their identities. It was evident that you had been brought into a space where sacrifices were made or where their dark magic was practiced.

One of the cloaked figures broke from the group, unveiling herself—a woman with goat-like features, her gaze filled with disgust as she closed in on you. With the chains restricting your movement, you could only retreat slightly, snarling in defiance, baring your pearl-white teeth as a warning. Despite your display, the goat demon merely chuckled, unfazed, and persisted in her advance.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Elizabeth," the witch sneered, "It's good to see you finally join us, High Priestess."

"Oh fuck you!" you spat back at her. Pulling on your shackles as they rattled, digging into your skin.

"I see you're still as charming as ever. We've been eagerly awaiting your arrival, but since you refused to cooperate and die, we had to take matters into our own hands."

"Now that you're here," she continued, "we can finally exact our revenge for our premature demise."

You scoff at that comment.

"You have nothing to avenge Sabrina; you got what you deserved. You know what you did, what he meant to me. He was everything, and you all took him from me."

"Still upset that we rid you of that unclean brat of yours? Honestly, Elizabeth, I fail to see why you're so attached to such a vile creature. I consider what we did to be quite generous. Don't you agree, girls?"

In unison, the other members echoed their approval. Sabrina turned to you with a smug grin, closing in. She seized your jaw, forcing you to meet her gaze.

"Now, it's time you learned your lesson."

The coven members surround you, they form a circle around your strung up body. As the goat lady puts a hand on your shoulder, grabbing onto the shirt you've been wearing, with a swift motion, her claw snags your clothes, ripping them apart, revealing your bare body. You feel a sudden coldness surrounding you, the chilly air makes you shiver. Out of the corner of your eye you notice one of the cloaked figures pull out a knife, and hand the object to the demon in front of you.

Your eyes widen in shock "What the hell are you doing?!!?" You shout at her, as she turns to you with a sinister grin, she brings the knife to your chest

"My, my so distrustful towards your old friend?" She chuckles as she digs the knife into your skin, wincing as Sabrina carves a pattern between your breasts. Looking down you're unable to recognise the sigil. Panic fills your every being as you realize what exactly is happening. They're putting a curse on you.

You start thrashing, trying to lean away from the sharp blade, or at least mess up the sigil work, anything to get out of this situation. Sabrina withdraws the knife, casting you a glare laden with pure animosity. She then addresses the cloaked group, approaching one of the figures clutching a large leather-bound book. She whispered to the demon, you couldn't seem to make out what she said. Though soon you found out what she whispered. The feeling of their dark magic, like thick, heavy chains wrap around you, constricting tighter and tighter with each passing moment. It's as if invisible shadows grasp at your limbs, pulling you into a suffocating stillness, rendering you unable to move.

Desperately trying to make any sort of movement, trying to move away from the approaching blade, but all you could do was endure. You watched as the goat in front of you continued to carve into your skin, tears rolling down your face like rivers. Amidst the pain you hear eerie chanting, and the curse seeps into your body like icy tendrils. It feels as though a heavy weight has settled deep within you, dragging you down into a suffocating abyss. Every breath becomes a struggle as the oppressive magic wraps around your soul, binding you in its dark embrace.

As the chanting begins to die down, Sabrina removes the knife from your chest. As the dark magic leaves your body, your ability to move comes back too, but you feel a burning sharp pain in your abdomen. A loud scream leaves your throat as you look down to your stomach, as Sabrina leaves a big gash making you howl from the pain.

She takes a look at your pained face, clearly enjoying the suffering she's putting you through. You start heaving, trying to calm yourself as best you can, trying to ignore the wound on your stomach.

Sabrina takes a step back, inhaling deeply before letting out a heavy sigh.

“You have no idea how long I've been cooking up this curse for you, it's the perfect retribution for your betrayal against the coven, against me.”

“Wha… what have you done..to m-me?” You managed to stammer, weakened by the wound, blood staining your thighs as it trickled down.

The goat demon hums in amusement.

“I'm glad you asked Lizz. This curse is quite special. It's a fusion of three sigils, forming what i call 'the soul-rotting sigil’. You can probably guess it’s implications, but I'll elaborate anyways.

Sabrina comes up behind you, grabbing your throat while pulling you into her body, your back leaning into her. A gasp leaving you as you try to move from her grip, only for her to tighten her hold.

“The curse will decay your soul like a carcass. It will take a whole year to wither away completely, and when It does… Well, let's just say you're gonna discover what comes after the afterlife.” Her laughter drips with malice as you absorb her words. “Of course we will certainly have fun tormenting you until that day arrives.”

She pulls away from you, letting go of your throat. The goat lady appears in front of you as she continues her speech. “Now I must depart, being the new High Priestess is a very demanding job after all. But fear not, I'll ensure one of the girls keeps you company.”

She turns away with a sinister grin on her face as the coven follows her to what you assume is the exit out of this place. Your eyes follow them, disappearing as they turn the corner.

Turning to the sound behind you, a cloaked figure approaches you, she pulls the hood off her head revealing her cat-like features, she leans in towards you, smiling like Sabrina did moments ago. She looks at your wounded and beat up body. Then she begins circling around you, making awful comments about you, but you don't acknowledge them, as your mind is already thinking about an escape plan.

You quietly assess your surroundings, searching for any potential exits or tools that might aid your getaway. The cat-like demon's words become background noise as you mentally map out your next move. You look up to the shackles, tugging at them slightly. On closer inspection you realize that they're just regular metal chains. Not some anti magic bullshit like those ropes were. As you focus your energy, a warm sensation emanates from your palms, enveloping the chains. With each passing moment, the metal begins to soften, succumbing to the intense heat of your concentrated magic. The links start to warp and bend, like molten wax under a flame.

Your determination fuels the transformation, the once solid chains now resembling twisted strands of metal, weakened and pliable. It takes you a few moments to free yourself, since your body is very weak at the moment, the pain and blood loss certainly not helping your situation either. But with a final burst of energy, the weakened chains give way, breaking apart like brittle twigs. Freed from their restraint, you take a deep breath, relishing in the newfound sense of liberation. Your escape plan is now in motion, empowered by your resourcefulness and resilience.

As your hands free from the shackles you turn to the cat demon who looks at you with a shocked expression. With adrenalin coming to your rescue, you lunge at her and begin tearing her apart with your sharp claws. The demon lets out a guttural scream as you sink into her flesh, blood splattering across the room.

In a flurry of motion, you overpower her, your primal instinct drives you forward. With each swipe of your claws, the demon's resistance weakens, until finally she collapses to the ground.

Breathing heavily, you take a moment to assess the situation. Blood drips from your wound, mingling with the demon's on the cold stone floor.

You lean yourself next to the wall, trying to steady yourself, putting pressure on the wound on your stomach, trying to lessen the blood loss. Slowly limping towards the room you saw Sabrina and the coven pass through, you enter some sort of lounge or dressing room of sorts? You're not entirely sure, the point is they kept their cloaks here. You reach up, pulling one off the coathanger, ripping one of the sleeves off of it, turning it into a makeshift bandage of sorts. It's not great but it's the best you can manage now. Taking another cloak, putting it over your naked vulnerable form, you continue looking for an exit

Despite the pain and weakness gnawing at your body, you press on, determination driving you forward. Carefully navigating the unfamiliar surroundings, you scour the rooms for any sign of an exit. Your eyes scan the walls for hidden passages or concealed doors. Your heart pounds in your chest as you push through the pain.

Finally your perseverance is rewarded by a faint glimmer of light emanating from the corner of a room, you stumble towards it, hoping to get out of this maze of madness. As you draw closer the source of the light becomes clear. A small narrow doorway partially concealed by heavy drapes. Without hesitation you push the fabric aside and step through the threshold.

You are greeted by the red sky once more. Though now it's darker and much more foreboding. You take a deep breath, the smell of sulfur filling your nose. You need to find shelter before they realize you escaped. You might have gotten away, but you weren't out of the frying pan just yet. You slowly limp towards the sidewalk, scanning your surroundings. You remember that the journey to the chamber was quite brief, indicating you can't be too far from where you were ambushed.

You begin walking, trying to find a place to hide away, feeling weaker and weaker by the minutes. As you struggle to keep yourself conscious, you notice a beacon of hope emerging in the distance—a hotel, appearing almost like a heavenly gift amidst the chaos. It's the ideal sanctuary to seek refuge and regroup, provided you can reach it before bleeding out from your injuries.

Summoning every ounce of strength left within you, you press on towards the hotel. Each step feels like a herculean effort as you battle against the encroaching darkness threatening to consume you. Your vision blurs, the world around you swirling in a haze of pain and exhaustion.

But the promise of safety drives you forward, a flicker of determination amidst the despair. With each faltering step, the hotel grows closer, it’s lights a comforting reminder of the safety and respite it offers.

As you draw nearer, your body screams in protest, the agony of your wounds threatening to overwhelm you. But you refuse to succumb, gritting your teeth against the pain, fueled by sheer willpower and the desperate desire to survive.

Finally, you reach the entrance of the hotel, collapsing against the door with a ragged gasp. Relief washes over you as you feel the cool touch of the doorknob beneath your fingertips. With your last ounce of strength, you push open the door and stumble into the lobby, collapsing onto the floor in a heap.

As darkness edges in from the corners of your vision, you cling to consciousness, clinging to the hope that help is near. With a final, trembling breath, you surrender to the darkness, your body giving in to the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

When your awareness returns you're met with two ruby red eyes staring back at you. You jump up as you realize you're laying on the lobby floor of some strange hotel, with some strange demon in front of you. You look at the owner of said ruby eyes, a man who looks like he's dressed for 1930s styled Chinese new year or something, all in red. You notice his deer-like characteristics, he exudes an aura of mischief, and oh god that sinister looking smile of his is downright terrifying.

“Ah you're finally awake dear” the demon greeted you "I thought you were going to meet your end on our freshly cleaned floors. My name is Alastor, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

You blinked up at the tall demon looming over you, unable to say a single word as you continued your staring contest with the strange deer man. You broke your gaze away to look down at your stomach, you were still bleeding heavily, you realized your dire predicament.

“You know it's quite rude to not introduce yourself after i oh so graciously kept you from your second grave” he chuckles.

Struggling to lift yourself slightly, you propped up on your elbows, gazing back at the smiling demon before you.

“ Than…thank y-you… my na-name is ….”

Well shit you can't just tell him your real name. you hesitated, it would be unwise to reveal your true identity. This man seemed dangerous, and your intuition screamed caution. Besides, how were you still alive? If you passed out from blood loss, you were surely done for, and you doubted this peculiar deer-man knew anything about blood transfusions.

Realizing you'd been lost in thought, you heard him clear his throat, snapping you back to reality. Quickly, you give him a fake name.

“...My n-name is Ginger….”

“Ah what a pleasant name for a young lady like yourself. It seems you’ve gotten yourself in quite the pickle, didn't you Ginger?”

All you could manage was a slow nod, hoping against all odds that this demon could somehow help you.

“Well, I can certainly assist you with your… situation, let's say.”

You scoffed inwardly. Situation, he said. I'm literally bleeding out, dude—you thought.

“Pl..please “

“Oh, why of course, after all, I wouldn't be the gracious facility manager if I didn't help poor sinners like yourself.”

“Thank yo-

“Ah ah ah, not so fast, darling,” he interrupted with a sly grin. “You didn't think I would be handing out freebies now, did you? Ohoho, how silly; must be the blood loss making your mind all fuzzy. No, dear, nothing's free here, I'm afraid. So, why don't we make a deal?”

Leaning towards you, the demon extended his hand, surrounded by a swirling green light, a soft glow emanating from his palm, casting a neon color glow. You stared at him, a mixture of shock and exhaustion clouding your expression, feeling your consciousness slipping away. Something tells you that it has to do with the demon in front of you, as if he was keeping you alive and conscious till this point.

“Wha-what would you like to gain from m-me?” you managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Why, your soul, of course. I think it's only a fair price after saving your life,” he replied casually.

Your soul?? This guy wants your soul?? Well great, you knew this was too good to be true. You weighed your options, die now or sell your soul to the strange deer man with a color scheme reminiscent of a strawberry.

Perhaps it was the delirium, or maybe it was the sheer desperation of not wanting to die just yet, or perhaps it was because deep down, you knew your time was limited regardless. Against your better judgment, you shook his hand.

“Deal.”

[justcubbystuff]

Hear me out guys.

Shoto being your boyfriend is one of the cutest yet kinda overwhelming thing ever, especially when you go out with him because he loves you so much and wants you to have everything you want. Now that he's working as a Pro Hero, he's got the money for it, that or he's gonna use his father's credit card. He loves doing so, especially if its for his beautiful darling.

-

You two are out shopping and you spot a game store, wanting to check it out you pull Shoto with you—because of course you two are always holding hands in the mall, he wouldn't want to "lose you" or have someone try to flirt with you—in the store.

What you don't know is that every games that you look at and think that would be interesting to play, he takes note of them with his photographic memories. He thinks that when you look at the price and say that you guys dont have time for that, that deep inside you'd still want it, that's why he does it.

You don't realize that he does that at first. You continue looking at things till you get to the useless but oh so satisfying section full of fidget toys and addicting little things.

He sees you grabbing onto some, playing with them then putting them back, if not sometimes showing him and making him touch. He of course sees no use to that but when he sees your sparkling eyes and little smile as you or he plays with them, its enough for him.

He ends up buying all of them.

And he will either overwhelm you all at once or make a longterm egg-hunt but with all of the things.

-

One. He ends up giving all of them to you all at once.

You come back home after work, walking into you and Shoto's place and putting your things away. When you go in the kitchen its only to see a couple of bags on the table. You furrow your eyebrows as you walk over and start looking into the bags.

The more you pull things out of the bags the more you realize what the bags are and who did it. You pout and feel bad since this must have cost a fortune, looking around for the culprit. When you notice he's not in the kitchen you quickly try to find him only to find your dual haired boyfriend in your shared bedroom, drying his hair with a towel, wearing a t-shirt and some swearpants. He must have just finished taking a shower.

When he spots you he smiles, that small happy smile that mainly only you get to see. His expression quickly changes as he notices yours. " What's wrong darl--" —" Shoto Todoroki, what's all this on the kitchen's table?" He looks at you, tilting his head to the side confused at first but then quickly realize what you meant.

"It's for you, of course...You don't like it?" He says sitting down on the end of the bed, looking up at you with that small sad puppy face. A face that you quickly learned that you cannot resist.

"No, no it's not that Sho!", You say as you quickly find yourself sitting on his lap, cupping his cheeks, looking down at him. "I-It's just that it's alot and it must have costed you an arm. I don't want to ruin you, love." You give his lips a small kiss before running your hand in his soft humid hair, your eyebrow furrowed as you spoke. "I thought you'd like it, you seemed to really like them when we went to the store.", He simply answers, gladly accepting the kiss but then leaning for a longer one, hands quickly moving to gently place themselves on your hips. He missed you and now that you're here he won't let you get away without giving him lots of kisses.

That was typical Shoto, you know that he would go to any length when it comes to you, to spoiling you and showing his love for you in such ways.

You pull away from him after a bit. "Can I at least pay back part of it?", He raises an eyebrow at it before a playful glint passes in his eyes. "And how exactly are you going to do that, Y/n?", Oh you know that look all too well. You giggle and roll your eyes, giving his nose a kiss and nipping it as an answer. " With money of course....And maybe a little bonus. But before...You must promise me one thing." —"What is it?"— "Don't ever do that again, buying me everything I touch or look at."

He started to pout and open his mouth to say something, but you quickly put a finger on his lips. "Do you want that bonus or not?" You say with a small teasing tone as you grin playfully at him. That hush him up and he softly grins back at you. "Of course, I won't."

And after you giving him that bonus he ends up telling you that he technically didn't pay for it, but his father's credit card did. Oh that little—

-

Two. Hide the things all around your place so you find them eventually.

You didn't expect to start finding all those things in your home, once a week or sometimes a bit more. At first you were confused, but thought that Shoto just was sneaky enough and wanted to give you those but didn't know how. And so he decided to do that.

Oh boy, you were wrong, especially when you started finding even more things around, some bigger and more costly than others. It both confused and impressed you that Shoto, your boyfriend, was even able to hide those from you and take time to place them all around. It was cute to think about not gonna lie, but how much does he end up spending for you everytime? You started thinking on stopping shopping with him, not wanting to ruin him, but as you were thinking that you find one of the trinkets you really wanted but refrained yourself from buying.

"Oh no, he didn't just do that.", You say as you picked it up and started messing with it, smiling as you lost focus for a while.

It would be a lie to say that you didn't think it was sweet of him to do that but first, why did he have to hide them and two...why spend money on that when he could keep it for himself?

...

When he comes back home, later that day its only to end up finding you sleeping on the couch with that red fox plushie he bought for you a while ago and the said trinket you found that day in your hand. You must have fallen asleep while playing with it.

Shoto can't help but take a few pictures of you before deciding to wake you up with small kisses all over your face. He couldn't help himself, you were just so cute and beautiful in his eyes. And he wants you to know it, even in your sleep. You end up waking up with a sleepy giggle before playfully and gently stealing a kiss. You slowly sit up, letting the trinket fall to the floor, forgotting about it now that your handsome lover is here.

"Sho, you're back...Welcome home.", You say as you stretch, yawning softly as you move to get up only to end up having a body moving on top of you. Arms wrapping around your waist and his face moving to nuzzle into your neck. "Great to be home...", He mumbles as an answer, closing his eyes for a bit before looking back up at you, admiring your cute sleepy face. He looks a bit longer than he should, making you blush a bit at the stare. You know you should get used to it but everytime it has the same effect on you, you just can't help it.

After a little bit of silence and cuddling, you are the one breaking the silence with a question. "Hm....Love, I think we have an intruder. I keep finding things I didn't buy, and that is definitely not yours, in our home.", You say wanting to see how he will react. The grey and blue eyed male furrows his eyebrows pretending not to know, before ending up making a small [°o°] face. "Oh...That. Don't worry, it's all yours.", He then proceeds to nuzzle back into your neck like nothing.

You run your fingers into his hair with one hand while the other gently rubs the male's back till it comes to a stop. "No, but seriously, Shoto...Don't use all of your money on me for that. I dont need all of t—", He mumbles something in your neck making you stop talking, raising an eyebrow. "What did you just say hun?", You ask and he repeats it, luckily for you.

"I think it's worth it if it makes you happy, you were so cute playing with all those things...", As he says that he shows his open phone on a short video of you smiling, playing with the trinkets and sometimes even giggling, showing Shoto. Your face flushes, refraining yourself from taking the phone. "Sh-Sho why do you have this? Let me see." He lets you take the phone, moving his head to look with you like he can't get enough of it. As you exit you notice that there's more short videos of you, in many places and such.

Before you can even say something he says bluntly. "I take those so when I miss you, I look at them and it helps....A bit.", Hearing that you can't even be mad or weirded out a bit, he's just so cute. But you wish he took better videos of you, some are dang childish.

With pink dusted cheeks you clear your throat. "W-Well maybe next time you can tell me. I'd gladly do something special for you. And also....No, more buying so much things for me, okay?", You gently boop his nose while saying that, when he looked back up to look at you with a tiny frown.

You said that but later he found you playing with another trinket you found before.

He still does it, just less things at a time.

—

And he of course will end up doing it again. And not with just toys and games. Clothes too.

Not readproof rn. Sorry for my spelling errors.

[theroseceleste]

Pilot Miguel - Part 13 - Oh, baby

Things have been... rather stressful since returning from your dreamy holiday in Tenerife and it seems things are only getting worse.

Word count - 5409

Minors DNI

If you don't want spoilers don't read the 'contains' bit below.

Contains : Mentions of periods / menstrual cycle / cramps. Pregnancy scare and mentions of harassment.

Enjoy! xx

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

If you enjoy this fic, please consider liking, commenting or re-blogging. Many thanks xx

With being on birth control, you have come to expect your cycle to be regular. So when you take your seven day break, you find yourself stumped to discover you haven’t started your period on the day you expected. Your cycle runs like clockwork usually. So why not this month?

Your obvious, immediate thought and concern is that you’re pregnant. But you shouldn’t be… that’s the birth control’s job to stop that from happening.

Stress… it’s got to be… You think to yourself after flushing the toilet and putting a precautionary pad in your panties - just in case.

Things have become stressful lately. What with Xina’s interfering in yours and Miguel’s relationship and the rent trouble you and Ashley are now facing.

To solve the latter issue, you’d have to either find a third person to rent with, to spread the cost or find a cheaper place to live. Neither of those options are what you want. You and Ashley don’t want to share your already limited space with someone you don’t know. And moving would just be a major upheaval. The place you have already is perfect and has served you well. You don’t want any of that to change.

As you wash your hands you then begin to worry about how Miguel would react to this potential little development? He’s already expressed that his career takes him away from home regularly. That hasn’t been an issue for the pair of you before, but that’s only because neither of you are in a position to settle down and start a family. The times when he’s away, you usually are too. All of that would go flying out of the window if you’re now pregnant. You’re shocked as you start to sympathise with Xina’s reasons for wanting a divorce - you’re just not a fan of her wanting to nudge her way back in again…

Would he even want a family? Neither of you have discussed the future, it’s kind of too early for that. You’re still really just in the early stages of a relationship; enjoying learning about one another, enjoying your time together without the pressures of looking after a baby.

He’s just recently got divorced, he’s not going to want to consider marriage with anyone else yet, let alone have a child with them. Tying the knot might be something he’ll never do again. Once bitten, twice shy and all that…

The more you think about it, the more stressed you become. You find yourself in a vicious circle, revolving around from one worry to another. Spiralling further down into the depths of concern.

You try to bring your mind to some kind of solace, by thinking rationally. The pill is ninety-nine percent effective, right? You can’t be pregnant, unless you’re incredibly unlucky…

Leaving the bathroom, you return to your bedroom to get dressed. You’re not due to fly for a little while. Maybe you can request more flights? That might help with paying the rising rent? But then again, you’ll have less time for yourself and being with Miguel.

As for the other issue, the simplest and quickest way of determining whether you’re pregnant or not is by taking a test, but you need to go buy one. Your pill has been so effective in the past you’ve never had the need to get one before. This’ll be a first. What would your parents think? Oh God, that’s too much to worry about. More stress for you when it might not even be necessary. Take the test, then worry about this stuff if it comes back positive.

Ashley’s in the kitchen as you return from your grocery shopping. She greets you as you place a couple of bags on the counter.

“Hey (Y/N).”

“Hey Ash…” you reply as you start to get some shopping out and load it into the fridge.

Your friend looks at you and frowns slightly.

“You alright? You kind of look a little peaky…”

“What?” you almost snap as you stare at Ashley.

“I’m fine. What makes you think I’m not fine? I’m good. Everything’s good…”

Your mouth spouts out frantic words which clearly suggests you’re the exact opposite of ‘fine’.

Ash stares back after your outburst, her mouth agape slightly. Then she looks down at the bags.

“Okay… let me help with this,” she says as she steps forward, only for you to throw yourself onto the groceries after remembering the pregnancy test is in one of the bags, and you can’t recall which.

“I’m fine. I’ve got this, okay?”

But Ashley can see right through you. She folds her arms and glares at you with a look that a mother gives her child when they start acting up.

“You’re hiding something,” she simply comments as you sheepishly pull away from the groceries.

“Have you bought expensive chocolate or something? Come on - spill…”

Ashley presses forward now that you have stepped out of the way, giving up any hope of keeping your little pregnancy concern private.

It’s as if she has a magnet that attracts things you don’t want her to find. Her hand dives into the bag and pulls out the first thing she touches. That damn test.

Her eyes flit between the box and you as she puts two and two together.

“Oh, (Y/N)…”

Her expression is full of concern for you. She could freak out and berate you on not being careful, or remind you that adding a baby and the expenses that follow to the growing rent problem is very much the opposite of helpful. But she doesn’t do any of that. She knows that the chances are you have already done that to yourself and doesn’t want to add onto the stress that she’s in no doubt you’re under.

“Go sit down, I’ll get you a glass of water and put away the shopping.”

Ashley is quite possibly the best friend anyone could ever ask for. She’s the voice of reason when you’re close to losing yourself and your support buddy if you’re in need of it.

You sip on some water as you read the test instructions. Ash is close to finishing putting the shopping away. The moment she’s done, she joins you on the sofa.

“Says here, I should do the test in the morning, but I don’t think I can wait until then,” you comment as your shaking hand holds the leaflet that comes from the thin narrow box.

Your friend takes the box and looks inside.

“There’s two tests. Take one now and do it again tomorrow if the first one’s negative.”

You nod your head silently. You feel nauseous with nerves, making you question whether it’s in fact morning sickness.

As you stand with a test packet in hand, Ashley calls out after you.

“One line means negative, two means positive.”

“Okay,” you reply with a shaky voice.

“Leave the door unlocked and I can come in if you need me.”

You say ‘thank you’ and head into the small bathroom and close the door…

It’s done... And now you wait…

After washing your hands and placing the test flat beside the sink, you call Ashley in for moral support. You sit on the edge of the bath while your friend leans against the wall.

“How do you think Miguel will take it? If you are pregnant that is…” she asks as you both wait.

“I don’t know. We’ve never discussed anything like this. I didn’t think he’d want to talk about it because of his divorce.”

“Maybe it’s stress stopping your period?” she suggests, offering a glimmer of hope.

“Aside from rent, is there anything else bothering you?”

You nod as tears begin to well in your eyes. Ashley abandons the wall and joins you on the side of the bath, putting a comforting arm around you.

“What’s the matter? Has he upset you?”

You shake your head as you feel her gentle squeeze on your shoulder.

“It’s his ex… she’s changed her mind and has been harassing him.”

“And what’s he doing about that?” your friend asks as she gently rocks you side to side to sooth you.

“Ignoring her mostly… and if not, he’s telling her he’s not interested.”

“Why hasn’t he blocked her?”

“What’s stopping her from buying cheap SIM cards and continuing her campaign?”

Ashley shrugs, you have a point.

“I think the test has done its thing now. Do you want to go get it? Or shall I?” she asks.

“I’m too scared to…” you reply as you tear off some toilet paper to blow your nose.

Your roommate and best friend in the world gets up and walks over to the test. She picks it up and observes it carefully.

Eventually, she gently places the test in your hands.

“Negative,” she says softly to you as she rubs your back.

A singular line is evident on the test. The instructions say that even the faintest of a second line means it’s a positive. But to your resounding relief, it's a clear result.

A third of your stress plummets. You’re not pregnant, so you should be starting your time of the month any moment.

“Thank you Ash,” you mutter softly, sounding full of emotion and your voice wobbles.

She pulls you up into a comforting embrace.

“You’re welcome (Y/N). Just doing what any friend should.”

The next morning, you wake expecting to feel cramps - but you don’t. All the relief you felt yesterday after the negative test result vanishes as more stress and worry floods your thoughts. For once in your life, you’re wishing to feel those uncomfortable cramps to disprove your theory that you’re pregnant.

Before you think about taking another test, your phone buzzes, stealing your attention for a moment. A smile flits across your face momentarily as you see that it’s from Miguel, but the concern as to how he’d react about what might be going on inside your body wipes that smile off your face rather quickly.

“Morning chiquita. Fancy staying around mine for a few days? xx”

This could be the perfect opportunity to discuss the concerning matter with him, or it could be the total opposite.

Looking back, you consider how he’s been with you. Nothing but respectful (apart from when he’s expressed his sexual urges…) care and love for you. But you still worry. Being willing to spend time with an adult is quite different to dedicating a lot of your time to looking after a baby.

You open up the text message and start to reply.

“I’d love to. xx”

Eventually, he replies with another text.

“Perfect. Come over when you’re ready.”

Your heart pounds with anticipation, but come to the conclusion that you don’t have to tell him just yet. It might not even be necessary and that you’re worrying over nothing.

Climbing out of your bed, you prepare some clothes to pack and write a note for Ashley who’s currently working to let her know you’ll be away for a few days.

Your hands fiddle nervously as you wait for Miguel to answer his door. The thudding in your heart matches the rhythm of his padding feet as he comes to let you in. He’s so big you can hear him through his door.

The door creaks open and he looks down at you with a smile, but it falls when he sees how worried you look.

“(Y/N)?”

You had it in your head you weren’t going to say anything. But the moment you see him, your emotions run freely, no matter how much you try to not let them.

Ploughing into his chest, you wrap your arms around his waist as you start to sob.

“Chiquita?” he asks again as he holds you against him for a moment.

“Que pasa?” (What’s up?)

He pulls you and your small case into his apartment and closes the door before picking you up and taking you to the couch in his living room. His large frame curls up around you as he tries to sooth you.

“You’re worrying me, please tell me what’s the matter.”

You nuzzle against his chest. The sound of his steady heartbeat is comforting. Perhaps opening up to him might not be so bad afterall?

“I’ve just had a rough time since coming back from our holiday,” you finally reply before hyperventilating.

His brow furrows to hear that things have been difficult, but what worries him more is that he never once heard about it until now.

“What’s happening?”

You tell him about the rent problem that you and Ashley are facing and the implications that may follow. His hand finds its way into your hair, stroking your soft locks and scrunching it into his fist occasionally, the gentle tugging easing some tension in your furrowed brow.

Then you move onto your worry about Xina. How it hurts you that she thinks she can just wander back in, picking up where they left off and totally disregarding that you’re in his life now. You trust him, but you don’t trust her…

“Mi bonita, I’ve told you before that you’re now what matters to me and I mean it. All of it.”

His reassuring words, whispered warmly into your ear, makes your heart flutter. You finally begin to unfurl in his arms, coming out of your little defensive shell.

You make the decision to open up about the final thing that’s worrying you. He has the right to know, you suppose. If you’re pregnant, it’s his baby too…

You make a point of looking into his eyes. His gaze searches your expression. You look more worried than you were a moment ago. His heart begins to pound as his mind wonders what you might be about to tell him.

After taking a deep breath, you begin to talk. Your voice, hoarse from all of the crying.

“M- my period is late…” you manage to choke out, “this has never happened before.”

His furrowed brow softens, but evolves into a more surprised expression. He knows exactly what your concern is. And a part of him kicks himself for not insisting on being more careful when it comes to sex. He was aware you were on the pill, but perhaps he should have been more responsible too.

Having a baby is not something he’s opposed to, but now isn’t really the best time…

“Have you taken a test, chiquita?” he asks softly, doing what he can to not put any more stress on you.

You nod silently as you curl back up into him.

“Negative.”

Miguel’s body relaxes for a moment after hearing the result.

“But your time of the month is still late, bonita?”

“Maybe it’s too early to be detected by a test? Or… a false negative–”

“Or,” Miguel interrupts, “you’re stressed and it’s putting a halt on things.”

There’s the ‘S word’ again. Even Miguel thinks you’re stressed. And strangely enough, it does bring some kind of relief that there is perhaps another reason as to why your period is late. Another relief is that Miguel hasn’t freaked out or rejected you out of fear that you’d weigh him down. Official commitment in a relationship such as marriage is still a bit of a sore subject for him, but he’s clearly pushing his concerns aside for your comfort.

“I’m sorry for making you worry, I’m just scared–”

Miguel pulls you into a tight hug.

“Hey, that’s enough, chiquita. If you’re pregnant, I am also responsible for it. You do not need to be scared or sorry.”

Silence falls between you for a moment as he embraces you. His words sink in, allowing you to calm yourself.

As he lays on the sofa with you; caressing you, embracing you, he thinks to himself. What if you are pregnant? What is he going to do? He can’t leave you; that’s for sure. But equally, he doesn’t want the relationship going in the same direction as his and Xina’s due to his career.

But, what if you’re not pregnant? This is very much a big wakeup call. After studying biology and working for Alchemax, he of all people should be aware of what happens when a man’s and woman’s reproductive cells mix. The pair of you will definitely need to consider ways of stopping an unexpected pregnancy for certain while still enjoying what you both are currently used to.

Listening to your problems, it certainly sounds like you have a lot on your plate, pregnant or not. The fact that Xina is included in your list of concerns upsets him. He can’t help but feel responsible for that. Perhaps he should have been more careful when looking at his phone while being around you, or practised his poker face a little more.

An idea forms in his mind and he wants to set it into motion. But first, he has some things to arrange.

“Miguel, where are you taking me?” you ask for perhaps the tenth, eleventh time?

You’re sitting in the passenger seat of his immaculate Tesla as it drives down the highway, leaving Nueva York. It’s the day after you opened up to Miguel about your worries and since then, he’s been acting all secretive and wearing a smile on his face.

“Patience chiquita,” your boyfriend replies as he keeps his eyes on the road, both hands fixed firmly on the steering wheel.

“Just relax, let me take care of things for a while.”

His voice is soothing and you’re not ashamed to admit it, but letting him be in charge at this moment brings you some peace. You smile as you realise he’s using the same voice he has when he talks to passengers like he did after the engine failure incident a few weeks ago. That memory still gives you goosebumps; how frightening the catastrophic failure sounded and how calm Miguel - and Peter - was about the whole thing.

You wriggle slightly, settling further into the smooth leather of the passenger seat. The tall buildings of Nueva York shrink away in the distance while more nature starts to surround you. It’s a refreshing sight to say the least. Less grey and white and more green. Even the monitor on Miguel’s dashboard says the air quality is much better out here.

Eventually, you realise Miguel is following signs for a small airfield. The mystery of what he’s up to builds as he keeps quiet.

Miguel pulls into a parking lot next to the airfield, but continues to drive into a car mechanic’s garage. His hand presses on the horn, presumably to announce his arrival to whoever works here.

A man in green overalls, slides out from underneath a car. His skin, a similar colour to Miguel’s, except his hair is slightly redder.

“Hey! Big bro’s here!” he calls out as he stands up, wiping his oily hands onto a cloth attached to his clothes.

Big bro? You did not know Miguel had a younger brother… Looking at him, it’s very clear they’re related. Similar facial structure and build, only he looks far less serious.

Your boyfriend gets out of the car, walks over to your side and opens your door. The gentlemanly gesture makes you blush.

“Hey Gabri,” he replies, “is she ready?”

The younger brother nods his head in response to the question.

She? Just when you think the mystery can’t get any deeper, he surprises you even more. You climb out of the car and Miguel places an arm around you, leading you to the car mechanic.

“Gabri, this is (Y/N), my girlfriend,” he pauses and looks at you, “and this is my brother Gabriel.”

You reach your hand out to shake his, but he pulls his hands away.

“Woah! Don’t want to make you all dirty. Curse of being a mechanic, forever greasy and oily hands. Pleasure to meet you though.”

Despite looking similar, their personalities couldn’t be any more different from one another. Gabriel seems to be more fun-loving while Miguel appears to be more reserved.

Your man gives you a subtle nudge as he looks down at you.

“Follow Gabri and I’ll be right with you with the stuff in the trunk.”

He’s clearly up to something, you didn’t even know he packed anything. What on earth is going on? However, you do as he says and follow the overall clad man through the workshop, into a much larger part of the building. The younger brother turns back to face you while he talks.

“I look after her while Miguel is busy flying bigger things.”

He stands aside, revealing a small plane in which you realise who “she” is.

Your jaw drops at the sight.

“He kept the Cessna he learned to fly in?” you ask in surprise.

Gabriel nods with a smile on his face.

“Sure did, and she’s my responsibility while she’s sitting on the ground.”

Miguel finally steps into the hangar carrying two small cases and a cardboard box.

“She’s good to go whenever you are.”

“Thanks Gabri.”

Your boyfriend gets you into the passenger seat before loading in the luggage at the back. As you wait, you notice that the plane has been modified slightly to accommodate his height. His seat is a little further back than yours so he can fit his long legs in to operate the pedals.

This feels special. You’re inside a part of his history. When a younger Miguel began his journey to becoming probably one of the best pilots you know. The fact that he’s sharing this with you makes your heart flutter.

Finally, he climbs into the plane, buckles himself in and does his checks. When he checks your seatbelt is fastened you decide to speak to him.

“Where are you taking me? And what’s in that cardboard box?”

A small smile grows across his face and there’s a twinkle in his eye.

“I’m taking you away for a few days, to my second home in New Jersey. And whatever’s in the cardboard box is a surprise.”

You’re absolutely stunned. A second home? Of course he has a second home…

“Why are you flying me there?” you ask, trying not to look quite so surprised.

Miguel starts the plane and looks back at you for a moment.

“Because you need to de-stress. So, I’m taking you away from rent problems, Xina and Nueva York in general.”

He is so sweet you could cry. You start to wonder what you might have done in your life to deserve such an amazing man. He might not be super joyful like his brother, but he has a heart of the purest gold and you know that he’ll look after you.

This is the first time you see Miguel control a plane during takeoff. You remain quiet for him to concentrate and you’re mesmerised when you watch him in his element.

As he flies, you wonder about the contents of the cardboard box. He did take a delivery before you both set out to come to the small airfield earlier today.

The flight takes just under an hour to reach New Jersey and once again, it is a smooth and comfortable landing.

You discover Miguel owns a second home in Cape May, right by the beach, locally called ‘the shore’. Your uber pulls up outside his home and you’re not surprised that it’s a more modern build, in comparison to the older beach houses along the street.

He brings you into his home and shows you around. On the first floor a comfortable living room is at the front of the house, while the kitchen is at the back. To the left is a flight of stairs leading up to the second floor, where there are two bedrooms, an ensuite and a bathroom. It’s small, but it’s perfect.

The master bedroom is complete with a balcony overlooking the shore. You can picture beautiful mornings, where you can leisurely roll out of bed and amble outside to fully wake up to the sounds of the sea and breathe in the fresh air.

For the evening, Miguel orders a take-out from one of the local diners. He wants you alone, with him, relaxing and being surrounded by nothing but comfort and peace.

As the two of you eat, he strikes up a conversation.

“So, your rent problem…” he begins as you bite into a french-fry.

Your eyes meet with his as you relax into his couch, hugging a plate of your food to your chest.

“Have you and your roommate decided what you’re going to do yet?”

You swallow your food as you recall your discussions with Ashley.

“I think we’re looking for a smaller, cheaper place to rent. Ash’s been searching for apartments already, I promised I’ll help her when I get back.”

Your fingers find another fry before you chomp on it, savouring the delicious, salty taste on your tongue.

“Tell your roommate you’ve found a place already.”

You pause mid-chew.

“What?”

“I’m offering you both to lodge with me, so you and Ashley can take your time finding a good apartment without the pressures of paying extortionate rent.”

Silence descends upon the room as you process Miguel’s living arrangement proposal.

“Miguel, that’s - far too generous. I don’t… we wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience…”

“Who said you’d be an inconvenience?”

“I - well - I’d have to speak with Ashley about it…”

“That’s fine,” he answers before taking a mouthful of his food and thinking for a moment longer.

“I mean, if you’re pregnant, you’ll be with me anyway. And if not, it’s your choice if you want to live with me, or go with Ashley once you both have found a place.”

You feel like you’re in shock at this development. How on earth is this man so amazing?

“You’d- you’d do that, for me and Ashley? Are you sure you’re comfortable sharing your living space with her?”

He gives a slight shrug.

“It might be a little weird to start with, but you say Ashley is a good friend of yours, so I’m sure having her around for a little while will be okay. It’s not as though my apartment is small. There’s ample room.”

Your heart feels like it’ll leap out of your chest and you cannot wait to share this offer to your roommate. That would be a whole load of pressure off of the both of you. Miguel rests his dinner plate on the coffee table and goes to fetch the box containing the surprise.

Using a knife, he cuts open the tape and hands you the box as he sits next to you on the couch.

“Open it.”

“Okay…”

Your hands tentatively hover over the flaps of the box, the thoughts in your mind race, wondering as to what it is. Finally, you decide to just go for it and open it up, revealing some packaging paper underneath.

The contents of the box rustle slightly as your hands dive in. At first, your fingers find a plastic bag with what feels like fabric inside it. As you pull it out, you almost cry immediately as you see what it is.

A cute gender-neutral baby grow rests in your hands with the words ‘born to fly’ embroidered on it along with a little picture of an aeroplane flying underneath the lettering. 

“Now,” Miguel begins as he shuffles closer to you while your tearful eyes stare at the package.

“Not that I think you are pregnant, but I want you to know that if you are; you do not need to be scared or worried.”

“Miguel-” you try to talk, but your lip wobbles.

“Shhh,” he hushes you as he wraps his arms around you.

“I’ve got you mi chiquita. I’ll look after you and the baby if there is one.”

You rest your head against his chest, feeling a whole load of weight on your shoulders be lifted. He’s not going to leave you, he’s not going to freak out or be mad. He’ll look after you, protect you and cherish you.

“There’s also a handful of boxes of pregnancy tests, so you can double, triple, quadruple check if you wish. I got the most accurate and reliable ones for your peace of mind.”

You can’t help resisting a slightly tearful giggle as you hear what else he bought you.

“Of course you did,” you reply with a sniff.

“Nothing but the best for you.”

Miguel presses a tender kiss on top of your head before reaching for your plate of food and handing it back to you.

As you both finish your meal, you continue to stare at the baby grow resting on the coffee table. A part of you wonders what a mini-Miguel would look like. Would it have his eyes, his cheekbones or his hair? A tiny smile spreads across your lips as you fall in love with that little baby grow. If you’re not pregnant now, maybe there’ll be a day in the future where you dress a little O’Hara in it? Who knows what the future holds, but right now, you know you have a boyfriend who truly cares about you.

You lay on top of Miguel on the sofa after eating. Legs intertwined while his arms wrap around you. Your elegant fingers caress his cheek as you both savour this moment of peace and tranquillity.

“Thank you Miguel - for everything.”

He nuzzles his head against yours as you hear him take a deep, contented breath.

“No, thank you (Y/N). Thank you for being there for me in Acapulco. Thank you for being so caring, understanding and sweet.”

You smile as you snuggle against him, pressing yourself more firmly into his chest.

“I’m glad I bumped into you in that galley…”

He places another tender kiss against your forehead.

“I’m glad you did too.”

The following morning, you grumble and groan as you wake to uncomfortable cramps. The moment you’ve been hoping for has finally arrived. You’re not pregnant and you’re happy with that. However, you find the pregnancy scare gave you and Miguel an opportunity to deepen your bond and learn more about him. He didn’t run for the hills, instead, he put his concerns aside and looked after you.

Picking up on your discomfort, Miguel stirs and pulls you into a sleepy cuddle.

“Que pasa, chiquita?” (What’s up little one?)

“Cramps…”

“Oh, baby…” he mumbles as he runs his hand over your lower abdomen, the warmth of his hand helping with the ache.

“Apart from the pain, are you okay?”

You nod as you close your eyes enjoying the comfort he’s providing you.

The pair of you embrace for several minutes before Miguel gets up, insisting you stay where you are. He brings you breakfast in bed and painkillers to take away the cramps.

In true Miguel fashion, he spoils you for the rest of your mini break. He takes you out to the beach and cooks you exquisite meals for dinner. It has been a much needed escape from all of life’s stresses and you return home feeling much more relaxed.

Ashley is totally blown away by Miguel’s great offer to house them both, so you can have a relaxed approach when looking for a new place to live. She has always remained fairly neutral about your boyfriend, but his recent actions have practically swayed her into the Team Miguel crowd…

In a small flat across the city, on the day you return from your trip from New Jersey, Xina takes a break from her work. She picks up her phone as she wants to look at something else other than her laptop screen for just a couple of minutes.

Several unread emails sit in her inbox. She’s neglected to look at them over the last couple of days.

Opening her mail app, she starts to scroll through the unread emails until one catches her eye. A notification to say that an item that her Amazon account ordered had been dispatched.

She hadn’t ordered anything recently… To check that no one had hacked her account, she opened the email to see what had been bought, only to remember she shared an account with Miguel before they divorced. She drew in a sharp intake of breath when she saw the items in question. The image of the baby grow burning into her retinas as she stared at her phone screen…

I hope you enjoyed Part 13. Part 14 is still in the works at the moment so please stay tuned!

If you are interested in commissioning me, please click on the link below to find out more.

If you would like to follow me on Twitter, please click on the link below.

[songsofsappho]

Back from (what I really hope to be) my last session of laser - and it has come to my attention not everyone knows about white vinegar.

Tgirls (and other queers getting laser hair removal) - my biggest tip when getting laser is to go home and rub WHITE vinegar on your face!

It's weird, and kinda gross, but it sucks the lingering heat right out of your skin. I've been doing it for over a year and swear by it.

Hey! Are you interested in starting laser or looking for advice? Lots more tips under the cut!

------

I should preface by saying I have very fair skin and had mostly dark brown hair when I started - reportedly the "ideal" combination for hair removal. YMMV! Also, I've only had laser done on my face and this information may not apply to other body parts.

Canadians

I live in Canada and there are some things that might not apply to other regions!

Check if there's a clinic near you that offers discounts based on your status as a trans person. I paid half price for my sessions by self-identifying and the clinic was (mostly) decent at interacting with a trans person.

Check if your insurance offers funds for the transition process. Mine took receipts from my clinic with no additional paperwork and covered about 80% of the cost, which can make the whole process much more palatable

Before you Start

Being on HRT (estrogen) makes a notable difference when it comes to laser. It thins out your hair and your skin. I started hair removal before HRT and probably went through some extra pain and cost as a result. That said, it made a big difference in my mental health to be working on my transition, and I'd never change that!

Laser is a commitment. I just had my twelfth session of the predicted 6 the clinic expected when I started. Be patient with yourself, and be mindful of the cost. Without insurance (but with the discount) I was paying $100-120 CAD/sesh.

Laser isn't for everyone and that's ok! There's a lot of pressure on trans people to heavily perform gender things just to be respected. The people that expect you to conform will probably always find a way to be dicks, and if you're happy with your body, your community will love you regardless.

This shit hurts. Obviously I only have my own pain tolerance, and the accounts of other girls, as a metric, but like, it hurts. It's so worth it for me but don't go in planning to be a stoic champion. I cry every time. My first 2-3 sessions I growled and whimpered through my treatment. Good aestheticians will keep working. If they make you feel bad for it, time to change clinics.

Try to make a day/evening of it. It's a physically and emotionally draining process and I do not recommend going back to work or out afterwards. It usually makes me sleepy too.

Getting Laser

There are ways to reduce some of your pain - please please please use them if you can. I use a topical anesthetic (5% lidocaine), rubbed in 30 minutes before each appointment. It helps, but it will still hurt

Be generous with the application of the anesthetic. All the way down your neck past your larynx, into the hairline beside your ears, up into your eye bags, on your lips, hell even into the nose a little. You will be able to tell when you missed a spot and it sucks.

When your roots are still thick (first 1-3 sessions), it feels like lightning crackling into your skin with each pulse of the machine. Not in a fun way. It hurts. It also smells like burnt popcorn.

Bring a stress ball or something you can clutch. I stretched out a shirt clinging to it during a session. I use my leather belt more recently.

Bring a lightweight, moisturizing sunscreen to put on after (if your clinic doesn't offer any). It won't help cool your skin, but it will help combat the dryness. You will also get a wicked sunburn afterwards if you're not careful.

Go right home afterwards, if you can. If you're driving, blast the A/C and point the fans at your face. It might dry your skin a bit, but it will help start cooling it down.

Once home, slather on that WHITE vinegar babyyyy. Wait about 20-30 minutes. Skin still warm? More. Skin feeling ok? Rinse off with cool water and use a light moisturizer.

2-3 days after your appointment, give the area a good exfoliating - this helps prevent ingrown hairs.

Try your best to schedule your next session 4 weeks later. It's ok if it's a little later, but it can't be sooner. I once went 7 weeks between sessions and it was fine, so don't freak out too much if there's delays.

REMEMBER, this is a process. Because of the way hair growth works, I find that after every THIRD session you start to see noticeable changes in your growth. Mine went wiry and dark > (after 3rd sesh) dark and patchy > (after 6th sesh) thin and blonde > (after 9th sesh) blonde, short, and stubbly > (12th sesh today) hopefully done!

If anyone has any questions I would be happy to answer 😘

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Five (Part 3)

When we get back to my apartment, I have to pay the driver because Marnie can’t find her bag. I think I give him too much money but he doesn’t give me any change. The trip costs more money than I would spend in three days, and I dimly suspect that I will be upset about it in the morning.

I fumble my keys in the lock once we climb to the second floor of the apartment block, and it takes much longer than usual to get inside because the keyhole seems to be in a different place than it usually is, the whole lock moving around exotically in front of my eyes. I don’t turn the lights on, because the effort of finding the switch seems far too great, and we both stumble around in the dark searching for the staircase, my limbs so heavy and lethargic, but I can’t help but giggle as Marnie collides with a dining chair, sending its metal legs shuddering across the kitchen tiles. She starts giggling too, and then shushes me extremely loudly. 

“You shush.” I stage-whisper to her, right as I crash my shins into the coffee table and yelp out in pain, which makes her laugh even harder. A light flips on upstairs. 

“What’s going on?” Comes a clear, sober, and very irritated voice as Claire comes down the stairs in pink satin pyjamas. I’m stricken by how perfect she looks even with messy hair and marks on her cheek from her pillow, and how cretinous Marnie and I must seem in comparison, drunk, dishevelled, and one of us with actual vomit on her top. 

“Sorry.” I say weakly. “We were trying to be quiet.”

She looks us up and down. “Well okay, clearly you’ve after been drinking all night, and that’s your choice, like, but can you not make such a racket when you come in? I was asleep.”

“You weren’t out yourself, no? On a Friday night, like?” Marnie says cheekily, but Claire doesn’t answer, she just stares her down with the kind of venomous disapproval that could make a grown man squirm. 

“Sorry.” I say. “We’ll be quiet. We’ll go to bed and won’t disturb you again.”

“It’s fine, you could just be more considerate next time.”

While Marnie and I lay together in my bed she turns to me and sniffs “Your housemate is a bit of a culchie, isn’t she?”

“What do you mean?” I say, trying not to focus on the way that the bed is spinning beneath me like a the waltzers at a theme park. 

“Like, I mean she’s one of those country girls who’s really boring. She doesn’t know how to have actual fun.”

“She does.” I say defensively. “Just maybe she didn’t feel like going out tonight.”

“In general though, I mean.”

“Mm?”

“She’s got the vibe of someone who’ll marry a boy she met in secondary school, then have kids at twenty five and then live in her hometown for the rest of her life.”

“I don’t know if there’s anything wrong with that.”

“I suppose, but it’s not very interesting, is it? To never learn anything about the world outside of yourself or to experiment or have unique experiences.”

“Do you think that’s what you’re like? Open minded?”

“Yeah. I think we’re both a bit like that. We’re not meant to be caged in, we’re meant to make something of ourselves and to stand out as being different. I like to imagine myself written about in some magazine far in the future, to have been a notable woman with notable things to contribute to society, not just a mother, a wife, the property of some dull, unextraordinary man.”

“Hm.” I say, partially because my focus is still off-kilter, but partially because I’m busy contemplating her image of me, as someone who’s meant for something, someone too big for a banal, traditional existence. I’m enjoying thinking of myself in those terms because it ignites warmth inside me, makes me feel worthy of more.

She’s silent for a long while after that, and I’m beginning to think that she’s asleep when she rolls over to face me in the dark. “I kissed Fiona tonight.” She confesses. “In the bath.”

“Wow.” I slur. “What was it like?”

“It was pretty good. I don’t usually kiss other girls, but she was looking at me like she wanted to. She told me that I’m pretty.”

“Well, you are.”

“Mm.” She agrees.

“Do you fancy her?”

“No, I don’t think so. I was just trying it out. Unfortunately I think I prefer men.”

I chuckle, and then for some reason feel compelled to share something with her too, as though we’re now trading vulnerable moments like football cards. “Something weird happened with Dean tonight.” I whisper, and I hear her body shifting in the blankets to face me again. 

“Why? What happened?”

“He touched my hand. Out of the blue. He grabbed it and started drawing on it with his fingers.”

“And he didn’t like, say anything before he did that?”

“No, and he looked weird.”

“Did it make you uncomfortable?”

“No, he was just looking.” Speaking is an effort, and I’m not sure I’m making the kind of sense that I think I am, but I don’t really care that much anymore. Everything feels surreal and dreamlike, even the words coming out of my mouth barely feel as though they belong to me. A weighty, sleepy feeling overpowers me and I shut my eyes, feeling myself carried away into the darkness behind my lids. 

I feel her turn over one last time beside me. “Do you fancy him?” She whispers. 

“No.” I say drowsily. “No, I don’t think so.”

Prev // Next

[homicidalfantrolls]

Save the Scratches

A view into that I bet you’re wondering how I got here moment.

Khirti, Dia and Leo belong to @trollcafe

Doc

—

The more you pondered and the harder you thought about the situation at hand, the more convinced you become that the entire thing had to be some sort of divine prank. Had you been one to dabble in conspiracy theories (or just day to day fleet operations as some would claim) you would be insistent that this was all orchestrated beyond your pathetic attempts to do so. A two step plan. Go to the ball. Ask Dia to dance. Dance with him. Answer the question that you’d been too chicken shit to do months ago. Profit.

Instead, you became tangled in a spider’s web made of silk you could spend the next fifteen sweeps in the fleet working towards and still not be able to afford a yard of.

Dionis pays no attention to you or his matesprit as he examines various fabrics and patterns. He and the seamstress go back and forth, tittering on about inseams and waist sizes and words you had half a mind to believe they made up on the spot. Leo had been smart enough to bring a puzzle book with him. You only had your bouncing leg and enough anxiety to run a steam engine.

“Can I have a page?” You finally ask the massive seadweller next to you.

“It’s sudoku,” Leo responds, deadpan and without looking up from his book.

“So? I like puzzles.”

“You liked building and assembling,” Leo corrects, as if what he said made any bit of sense.

“What does—“

You’re cut off by Dionis returning. For the first time since he left, Leonra lifts his attention from his book to look upon his matesprit. Leo had always had his emotions under lock and key, his expressions never revealing much. Whether that was because of his dealings with Deepbite or it was the way he’d always been, you couldn’t say.

What you could say, however, was how much happier he seemed since you last saw him. Leo had always carried himself stiffly, something your foolish younger self had attributed to ego. While he still carried himself with a similar stiffness, it was now due to the pain plaguing his leg instead of the fear of being ambushed at any moment.

That was a level of guilt you didn’t have the brain capacity to process right now.

“Your suit will be ready in a few days. Plenty of time for adjustments,” Dionis informs you with a pleasant chirp to his voice. There was no denying he was much more excited about this whole endeavor than you were.

“Dionis, I—“

“I’m going to hope you’re planning to thank me instead of complain about cost or try to back out of this. I get enough of that from Leonra,” he interrupts with a flick of his tail. “You were much more receptive to this than he usually is. Don’t ruin this for me, dear. Don’t forget whose hive you're sleeping at. You go back to that motel and the conversation will be about the smell, not the mysterious purpleblood galavanting around.”

While there was too much in his words to unpack, you find yourself settling on the least frightening aspect of it.

“But I’m not…a purpleblood.”

“Maybe not. But you are a cusp, dear. You’ve always lived as the lesser end of what you truly are. I think, just for one night, you deserve to act like the half of yourself you were never allowed to show off. Don’t you?”

—

“He’s been waiting for you.”

The voice that suddenly speaks next to you startles you so terribly that you slap your poor whiskey clean off the counter.

Khirti follows the flight of your glass before turning her attention back to you. Without even so much as a pause, she waves the bartender over.

“Get him another whiskey, will you? Top shelf this time. Not whatever motor oil he had before. I’ll take another as well.”

Whether she didn’t notice your discomfort or just didn’t care, Khirti hops up to sit on the bar in front of you. She stretches one leg over the other, crossing metal over metal in a display that makes your chest ache painfully.

“You can’t pretend you haven’t seen him. Bitch is lit up like a damn road flare. We almost matched but then I’d outshine Tori and defeat the whole point of dragging his grumpy ass here.”

The bartender sets the drinks down in front of you, which earns him a fifty caeger bill from her wallet that she’d stashed in her top.

“Don’t act so surprised, Pip. Dia may not have told you but I’m a social media manager now. I’m sure he told you about our moirail. Gigs like these are a great way to get sponsorships and interest up. Also lets Tori flare his feathers out. Long story short, it pays to do a job for a guy who has no idea what a reasonable amount to pay you is. Also helps to date him.”

Words were not your friend at the moment. Your throat burned despite your whiskey remaining untouched. Your head remained turned away from the women at the bar, your gaze remained fixed on the bottles behind it. The labels were impossible to read from this distance, even from someone with the perfect vision of a pilot. You pretend you can read them anyway. Your brain makes up fake names for the liquor, fictional brands and slogans of vodka and whiskey and tequila.

Twin Sunset lime flavored vodka.

Rocket brand wine cooler.

Cherry tequila brought to you by Radio Silence.

Flower Vodka; An explosion of flavor.

Enjoy the free fall sensation of Loose Screw beer.

Relish the subtle taste of watching the most important figure in your life blow up because you fucked up repairs on your own plane so they couldn’t stay in the air, die because you weren’t fast enough to save her or were too selfish to give up your life to, never be able to look her father in the eyes or—

“You still with me?”

Once again, the sound of Khirti’s voice startled you. Your whiskey thankfully remained unharmed, though your ego did not. Your face feels warm under your mask, your ears pinning back ever so slightly.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Not used to seeing you zoning out. You were usually more vocal about when you were annoying someone.”

You don’t say anything. You’re not sure it’s a choice or an inability to form words. Your throat was closing up, preventing enough air to form coherent thought from entering your body. It was still enough for you to try desperately to come up with an excuse to leave.

“Khirti—“

“Dia told me you decked Mavrik.”

For not the first time since Khirti came over, you find yourself grateful for your mask. While you couldn’t be certain of what expression lie beneath, you do know that your tongue felt dry after you forget to close your mouth.

You swallow, hopefully not as audible to her as it was to you. Your chest burns with a different emotion, one you hadn’t felt since you had punched the man.

“…I did.”

“Why?”

“He’s…not who everyone thinks he is.”

“Dia told me it’s because he lied about how Daisee died. Because you said it was your fault.”

You didn’t know they planned to open the windows. You don’t know why they would in the middle of winter. Maybe you should tell them to close them. Even under your heavy fur cloak, you could feel the chill in the air.

Khirti, however, does not. Despite her dress only containing enough fabric to barely fit the definition, she didn’t flinch. She was as still as the stone countertop she sat upon, her metal legs staying crossed and unmoving.

“K-Khirti, please—“ you stammer, your voice barely above a whisper. It barely reaches your own ears. Through your mask and the commotion of the ball, one couldn’t be sure you had even spoken at all.

Khirti, however, heard you perfectly clearly.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I-I-my plane—“

“No, no. Tell me what happened to make you think it was your fault. Everyone knows it was a conspiracy. Everyone knows they were trying to kill me, that they wanted it to look like an accident or incompetence. That Daisee just…got caught up in. So tell me why you think her dying and me losing my legs had anything to do with you. When everyone else knows it didn’t.”

Your chest burns like fire. Your throat felt similar to how it did after every day of special ops training. Of screaming back at your drill sergeant, of swallowing ice cold seawater after as punishment.

“I…Khi—“

“Not now, Pip. Not tonight. There’s more important things going on tonight. Like a sexy limeblood who’s been waiting for you to answer his damn question for the past four months.”

Khirti hops off the bar, landing gracefully on the marble floor.

“Don’t be a stranger, Pip. I’m glad you’re back.”

And with a hand on your shoulder and a kiss to your mask, Khirti was gone.

You had only a few moments to stare into the glass of whiskey before the devil spoken of appears.

—

When Dia leaves, your anxieties are confirmed.

There was no chance, on any planet, in any galaxy, in any universe you had the balls to pull this off. What the hell were you thinking? You weren’t some kind of knight in shining armor, an action movie hero who could sweep him off his feet all suave and ask him to be your matesprit. You had imagined that scene over and over again to the point that if they asked you to direct a movie on it, you could do it with your eyes closed.

But now that you were here, you’re once again reminded of just how in over your head you were. You didn’t come up with any of this, this wasn’t your plan, your idea. Your original operation was to just…come down here, plain as day, and hope to run into him. Running into Leonra and Dionis was the fluke to end all flukes. Leonra saw no issue with your idea. It was unfortunately his matesprit who had to call you both idiots.

The only reason you hadn’t attended in your normal attire was him. The only reason you got his opinion was a fluke. He would forgive you for wasting his time, right? Leo too. He didn’t want to come but Dionis would have dragged him anyways, independent of him wanting to watch all this play out. It would be fine.

—

“Don’t be a pussy.”

Leonra’s deadpan tone hit you like a frying pan to the back of the head. You attempt to stammer an excuse out before Dionis interrupts you.

“Honestly, dear. You’ve come all this way. Quite literally, I might add. You took the week off and everything. You’re really planning to leave without saying even a word to him?”

“I…I don’t think he wants to see me. He didn’t know who I was but he flirted with me so I just—I think he’s moved on and that’s fine because I took too long but I don’t—it was a mistake coming here, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, I just—“

“Almiss.”

Your rambling is cut off by Leonra’s voice. Your ears pin back under your mask. It’s Dionis who speaks next.

“It wasn’t a mistake coming here. I’ve seen him looking around the entire time. He’s waiting for you, even if neither of you realize it.”

Your frown deepens, eyes avoiding the couple under your mask.

“I just—“

“None of that,” Dionis interrupts you once more. “Look at me.”

You do.

“You love him, and he loves you. So you’re going to go over there and ask him to dance with you. Because if you don’t, I am repossessing that outfit I bought you, right here, in the middle of the ball.”

“And I’ll let him.” Leo chimed in, having returned his focus to his sudoku.

You can’t help but laugh. While still filled to the brim with anxiety, it still felt like a weight off your chest.

“Alright.”