#but this is still my default way to deal with stuff
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Im going through an intense period of self discovery right now and it’s really hard because my first response to what I find is often fear and shame
#self discovery isn’t really accurate it’s more integration of shit I’ve been cut off from for a long time#but for most of it like there was a reason I cut it off and ignored it instead of dealing with it#cuz it was too painful and made me feel embarrassed or inadequate or shameful or even crazy#but now I’ve reached a point in my mindfulness practice where it’s getting harder not to notice when something isn’t integrated#and it’s really overwhelming rn cuz there’s still so much……… but now I notice it way more…….. but my attitude toward it still defaults to#an immature one where I panic and mistrust myself#ahhh#I even feel kind of embarrassed sharing this on my main blog .. cuz idk how it seems when I talk about mindfulness stuff and I feel like its#easily misconstrued#but fuck it we ball#p
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//Ideas rotating around the brain again.
#//i kind of want to replay drag.on ball fusions again but i also want to do more post game stuff#//but also i want to try and do stuff with giving the player character fusions actual designs bc it's usually the player's-#//-default outfit with a different color slapped onto and maybe a different hairstyle lol#//i think there's potential to make neat designs from them bc there's some meat on those bones#//and tbh i made the player character in my first playthrough lambda and i want to see how weird things can get with him lmao#//i know the metamo rings are made to stabilize compatibility with both wearers but also lambda's from a different dimension-#//-and i'd like to think that would have some sort of effect on the fusions he's a component of! because he's just close enough for it to-#//-work while also being slightly off due to the differences between dimensions#//stuff like extra limbs extra eyes or the components' eyes being squished together and the eye based horror that comes with that#//transformations not working the right way because even if lambda's strong his presence hinders more than it helps because of it#//a front hiding the fact that both components not only make up a new person their individual halves are still active apart from the fusion#//- often all at the same time and having to deal with the fuckery that comes with that#//is this s.u fusions in a different hat? maybe? anyways sorry for the ramble in the tags i just wanted to get this out there lol#backup log {ooc}
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can can i request how they deal with boners in public? or like, how they deal with you turning them out (intentionally or unintentionally)
Skz Headcannons:
turning them on in public ~*
OT8 x reader HCS..
warnings: degredation, exibitionism, frottism, very tame?
your order is ready☺️ smut below the cut!!!!!!!!!
Chris:
• shy and giggly. he can’t believe half the stuff thats coming out of your mouth! (as if he hasn’t said worse)
• he’ll be hiding his red face in his hands and doing that cute squeaky giggle he always does🤭
• when he actually does get hard though, he’ll be looking around and crossing his legs, accidentally gaining a bit of friction from his jeans on his hard cock.
• but be careful, he’s a teaser too😖
•he wont make you regret it, he’ll just play along until you’re dripping and begging to go home
• (hes gonna find excuses to stay longer to get back at you)
“oh, so now you wanna go home, hm? i don’t know…ask me later. or beg me now, maybe ill decide then.”
Minho:
• will 100% laugh at your pitiful attempts to get him hard.
• he’ll just watch you with a smug/bored look on his face while you just end up riling yourself up.
• if his body ends up betraying him and he in fact is hard, he still won’t appear embarassed.
• if anything, he’ll grab your hand and have you feeling up his cock through his pants like the whore you wanted to be that day.
“did you have your fun, kitty? or did the poor slut get herself needy and wants me to take resposibility?”
Changbin:
• flustered and side eyeing you.
• he’s shifting in his chair and rubbing his plush thighs together, begging you silently to stop talking.
• its not difficult to make him hard, he never forgets the way you look on top of him, so teasing him with that image in public is torture!
• it’s when you start ghosting your hands over his cock that he’s immediately asking for the check and grabbing his keys😭 he does NAWT wanna do that shit in public but he’s literally this close to bending you over.
“let me take you home? i just need your hands, please? ill treat you so good, i promise, just let me take you back home?”
Hyunjin:
• thinks it’s kinda fun, treats it like a game/competition.
• he can hold out pretty well, but alas he’s just a boy😔
• it’s like his default setting to be inside you so he isn’t going to last very long. he just wants to feel his sweet girl.
• he’ll hide it, but will definetly show it you purposefully. he’ll lean back on something, exposing his hard on to you, biting his lip as he watches your reaction.
• or he’ll pull you into a bathroom stall and press his clothed bulge into your tummy, looking down at it and holding your hands. wants nothing more than to see your nails running along his long, hard cock.
“look how hard you made me, hm? want it? think it’s pretty? you made it, so i think it’s pretty. my little artist.”
Han:
• poor baby tries so hard to resist.
• he’s shying away from your hands and whining at you to stop when you tease him with words.
• he could never comepletely say no to you though, so he’ll let you palm his cock for a while.
• he’s arching and subtly grinding up into your hand. biting his lip while his cock leaks, trying not to get caught.
• he tries his best not to make any sounds, but he still lets whiny sighs slip through his mouth. ends up cumming in his pants anyway, only wanting to go home so he could change😭
“ah..shit..can- can i cum? or should we..go home? fuck..it’s too late. don’t stop- cumming!”
Felix:
• he doesn’t get it. he doesn’t understand why you would be saying all of these filthy things and feeling him up in public?
• he just thought you must be feeling needy. he reaches his hand over in pity, thumbing at your clothed clit and looking around to not get caught.
• your words do get to him though. as soon as you call him a few names he’s chubbing up in his pants.
• when you reach a hand over to him too, he realizes how suspicious this looks in public and just decides to finally take you home.
“aw, my poor girl. c’mere, ill make you feel as good as i can while were out. unless you wanna go home? no? my baby wants people watching?”
Seungmin:
• also shy about it.
• he doesn’t care much about the words (even if they do get his leg bouncing)
• its when you start touching him that he gets him wide eyed and flushed.
• he’ll grab your wrist and whisper-yell things like “you can’t do that, were in public!” at you.
• he’ll squeeze his legs shut and look at you with a slight sheen of excitement in his eyes. he’ll start stroking your ankle with the tip of his shoe, while resting his head on his hands. he’ll play along a bit for now.
“hm? what? am i not allowed to play with you too? touching me and saying such filthy things in my ear, who taught you that, huh? such a slut.”
Jeongin:
• he’s amused, but still suprised at your boldness.
• he has a wide smile on his face, mouth hanging open and his hand dramatically pushing you off of him.
• will deadass run away like he doesn’t know you
• if he gets hard oh lord he’s hunting you down.
• he doesn’t care if you’re in a bookstore, he’s finding the isle you’re on and dragging you out😭
• he’s laughing like he can’t believe that just happened, but trust your pussy is done for when you get home.
“yah! look what you did! couldn’t wait 10 minutes could you? eager slut. im taking you home, and you’re fixing this.”
#skz smut#skz x reader#18+ mdni#bangchan x reader#bangchan smut#lee know smut#lee felix x reader#lee felix smut#lee know x reader#changbin smut#changbin x reader#hyunjin smut#hyunjin x reader#han jisung smut#han x reader#han jisung x reader#seungmin x reader#seungmin smut#i.n smut#i.n x reader#customer ask!
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Diasomnia boys with a reader that's really prone to panic attacks, but hides it really well?
Like, sometimes they get really jittery and stuff, but that's just them being them! It gets better, usually. If not, they go to the bathroom chill, even when they're literally going to die inside.
And they kinda knew cause they went on a boat date, then they just kinda started saying they were uncomfortable and stuff and they ended up having a huge panic attack, like how would they react?
malleus draconia
he is very observant, especially over someone like you. it's his own way of showing care and affection if anything. malleus usually seems to have a watchful eye over you-- your wellbeing is something he finds really important to him. he can quite easily tell how nervous and how much anxiety building up in you. with that being, however, he is a bit... awkward showing how much he does want to help you. he doesn't understand that part well. now, he doesn't express it, but it does he feels a strange and foreign sense of powerlessness because he wants to be able to magically take it all away.
malleus is incredibly gentle; he does go out of his way to still try even though he can't fully solve it for you. when he notices the jitteriness or even as soon as you seem to be unable to focus, if you're alright with the touch- he'll carefully slip his hand to hold yours and trace his thumb over the top of your hand. he will give you reassuring affirmations or looks. though, he tends to just slip you away from whatever you're around and give you the best sense of peace he can.
with that being said, that's what he prompts to- he knows you seemed to feel somewhat better during your times with him outside ramshackle at night, where you may find comfort just trying to ease your breathing outside. he'll be there, quiet but someone for you if you wish to speak. and once again, because this is still new for him- whatever you want practically goes because he just ultimately wants you to feel better. so even if that's space, stay in silence, or talk about something else to get your mind off it. he will gladly give any of it.
lilia vanrouge
lilia already has this caring and doting nature around him- and that always applies to you. he can sense what you're feeling from a mile away. he knows you so well already and only wants nothing more than to help you. lilia genuinely wants to be someone you can lean and rely on. despite the trouble or teasing to others he can bring- he is very careful around you. especially during the aftermath of any of them, he is ready to be there.
he is always seeming to check on you. when you seem to be bouncing your leg, fidgeting, biting your lip or nails- very quick to notice- he'll calmy hush a "do you want my help, dearest?" something of that sorts and give a reassuring smile. he never wants you to feel bad for it and make it any kind. he also wants the approval from you if you want or need him around to ease yourself.
when you've dealt with one, carefully, he'll try to ease and calm you down after the adrenaline high you were just experiencing. he'll always seem to have a caring smile on his face when he asks if you''ll let him hold you for a moment. i have a feeling his hugs, with the addition of soft humming or strokes are the epitome of safe.
silver
at first, he was new to handling these kinds of things- he felt completely unsure how to help when all he wanted to do was do just that. much like malleus, but honestly, probably even more so- his quiet nature can most likely prove to be some help when it comes to your panic nature. anything he says or does, even if he is a bit internally worried about how to handle it himself, is so gentle and soothing. it hurts him seeing how much you have to deal with- so he'll do everything and anything he can for you. in moments especially where you're talking to others and feeling anxious, he'll take over for you.
silver is protective by default; it only heightens around you. he wants nothing more than for you to be and feel safe. he is knight, he really couldn't push that part away from him if he tries. in the midst of the moment his focus is solely onto you. if you'd allow him, he hold your hands and let you squeeze them as tight as you want, trying to help guide you through it the best way he can. even if it's difficult and you feel like a mess, he is right there with a worried look and this aching desire to fix it for you.
after it slowly wears of, he might recommend and try coaxing you to fall asleep. he doesn't leave your side if your comfortable enough to allow yourself to. he'll lightly trace your arm and try to have you match your breathing with his.
sebek zigvolt
sebek would probably have the most confused time trying to help you- not in a bad way- like anyone else he wants to help you, but he has zero clue how to even begin the first few times. he gets so concerned and when he gets worried it comes out as loud unintentionally. or maybe even aggressive to others in a sense of thinking someone was bothering you. and clearly that's the last thing you would need, so he tries his best to be more cautious of himself for you. there are times where he's been kneeled in front of you sitting looking up to you with a "tell me what i can do for you" attitude. he gets so serious,,,
like silver, he's a knight and wants you with a sense of security- he doesn't want to feel like he failed you on that. he would go out of his way after he starts to slowly understand them- to spend his spare time reading about it and even go to lilia for help on comfort. so, at times like this during an instance on a date he would be ready all the more.
him trying to help you does feel rather by-the-book scientific ways of helping you get through it. but he genuinely tries and is solemn about it. he does stumble a bit nervously sometimes, because he still can't quite think straight when you're experiencing anything sorts of bad. but sebek does his absolute best.
#despite experiencing them myself sometimes#if theres any misunderstanding or misconceptions anything lmk!!!!#tw panic attack#tw anxiety#twst headcanons#twst wonderland#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twst hcs#twst imagines#twst#twisted wonderland#malleus x reader#lilia x reader#sebek x reader#silver x reader#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#twst silver
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unresolved things still in my brain post fhjy finale
okay hihi this is not me trying to nitpick I just have a lot of unresolved thoughts!! okay here we go
Buckys arc:
I don’t have a ton of stuff to say just generally his arc being unresolved, being counted as a follower of Cassandra but that never being formally gone over, him still living with Mac and Donna, him skipping class, the drama with his adventuring party etc.
Bobby Dawn:
another self explanatory one, Sandra Lynn never finding out he was teaching at school, him escaping scot free, the drama in the sol pantheon, him never finding buddy etc. Just a lot of unanswered questions
Mazey Graduating:
for having a finale that has a lot of emphasis on the Fabian/Mazey relationship I wish they went over that Mazey IS a senior and graduated at the end of the year and is presumably going to college in the fall, and just the logistics of her being a college student still dating someone in highschool, just interesting having them get together when they’re already going in separate paths. I wish they went over it!! because now in my brain I have to justify it as a summer thing because they’re actively going to be doing other stuff the next school year.
Kipperlilly (and Jace):
okay so. Kipperlily was never rage starred or she willing took on the ragestar whatever I NEED TO KNOW MORE. Ik the point is that the ratgrinders suck and are inexperienced heroes but the realization that she essentially took all of The Ratgrinders down with her and gave them up to Porter, wasn’t being controlled by him in the way the rest of them were, had an even more direct hand in Lucy’s death, but also was still being manipulated by Porter for years?? I need it to get gone over. Also Kipperlily staying dead? to be clear it shouldn’t be The Bad Kids’ jobs to have to deal with the moral question on if the ratgrinders deserve being revived but there’s so much unsaid about Kipperlily and so much she didn’t get to do ugh. And in her final moments her absolute hatred towards Riz just being justified? In her eyes. Idk. Lots of thoughts. AND JACE!! Porter ADMITS to killing Jace himself and shatterstarring him and says he will do it again, but also Jace is clearly under Porter’s control to a degree and wasn’t revived too. I wish we knew more about him because as of what we know right now it seems crazy to keep him dead without questioning him and with him being Porters partner in this whole thing he could fully reveal everything Porter and The Ratgrinders had been doing the past three years.
Bakur:
idk just minor stuff with Bakur. He never regained his elf status which was interesting? We never saw the resolution of his fight with Lydia etc
Kalina:
Okay the acknowledgment in the finale that Kalina seems to genuinely have her own free will and moral compass outside of Cassandra is making me crazy because I just assumed she was tied to Cassandra so when she was good Kalina was too by default but there’s so much not cleared up about her. She DID lure Cassandra to the synod where she was weak and fostered the rage in Cassandra about Kristen’s treatment of her. She killed herself and was trying to communicate to Riz about Porter. Ankarna has NEVER trusted her. She had the spies tongue with Porter. She’s escaping with Buddy at the end. WHATS HAPPENING WHAT IS SHE DOING AGGHHHHH
#feel free to rb with unresolved stuff for you#fantasy high#d20 fhjy#fantasy high junior year spoilers#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 fhjy spoilers#d20 fantasy high#the bad kids#the ratgrinders#bucky applebees#bobby dawn#sandra lynn faeth#fabian aramais seacaster#mazey phaedra#kristen applebees#buddy dawn#kalina#cassandra fantasy high#ankarna#bakur#lydia barkrock#porter cliffbreaker#kipperlilly copperkettle#jace stardiamond#the rat grinders#lucy frostblade
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I’ve seen a few metas now that describe Crowley as self-loathing and…that’s not quite it to me.
Crowley for sure has Issues. He has a lot of anger and doesn’t always deal with it in constructive ways. He is hypervigilant as all fuck, and the fact that he is almost always correct about the amount of danger he and Aziraphale are in at a given moment just reinforces that hypervigilance feedback loop.
He has the hair-trigger flight response of someone who has spent millennia dodging oppressive forces that are more powerful than him, and this makes him default to RUN even when on some level he knows that is not the right response to a situation. He’s very aware that there are a lot of people out there who can hurt him, and there is no one coming to protect him. The only option is to try to avoid the blow.
And he is absolutely terrified of rejection, for very understandable reasons. This also encourages him to have one foot out the door of a situation, to pretend he doesn’t care, because if you leave first and actually never cared at all then you can’t be hurt. He is painfully aware that good things can be taken away from him without warning, that love that looks absolute can turn out to be conditional, because that already happened to him.
But. As much as I love a self-loathing blorbo, I don’t think Crowley hates himself.
Sure he talks a good game about how he’s not nice. But I don’t think, for example, that he thinks he is unworthy of Aziraphale’s love, that he is not good enough for Aziraphale because he is a demon or for any other reason. Because as far as Crowley is concerned, angels and demons are the same! All that good and evil stuff is just names for sides. I think he is afraid, because he’s still not sure, after all this time, if Aziraphale feels the same way he does, and broaching that topic is an enormous risk compared to just staying in the ambiguously-defined status quo they have now. (And then he works up the courage to do it anyway, and seems to have his worst fears confirmed.)
FWIW, I don’t think Aziraphale thinks that Crowley is not good enough for him either. Not at all. But I think Crowley might think that Aziraphale thinks that after the end of s2. And that really stings, because as much as they both gave lip service to the idea of “I’m good, you’re evil,” I think Crowley always assumed that Aziraphale saw through that when it came to him as a person, that it was just something Azirphale said and not something he really believed about Crowley, and now he’s not so sure.
I also think Crowley believes he did not deserve his fall (hot take: none of them did) not because he is extra-special Good, but because that’s a fucked-up thing for someone who said they loved you to do. While he is clearly still dealing with the trauma of it, I think he knows by now: I shouldn’t have been hurt like that. I didn’t deserve it, and it wasn’t my fault.
And so the horror of Aziraphale accepting the offer of going back to Heaven is partially I thought we both understood how this system works; I thought we were on our own side together and partially I can’t believe you’re going back to the people who hurt you and at least a little bit I can’t believe you’re going back to the people who hurt me. Do you think they were right?
(And Aziraphale doesn’t! He doesn’t think that! He thinks they were wrong, but he thinks they were wrong about Crowley, that it was an individual mistake and not a feature of a system that squashes questioning and nonconformity of any kind.)
I wrote a whole meta about “I won’t be forgiven, not ever” and “unforgivable, that’s what I am” in 2019 that I won’t rehash here, but tl;dr, I don’t think Crowley is saying that as a statement of his self-worth. I think he is saying, Heaven would never let me back in, and if they did, I wouldn’t go. Because I don’t want or trust the “acceptance” of people who don’t value me as I am.
And it’s part of the cruel dramatic irony of the Final Fifteen that one of the things that breaks them apart is that Crowley values himself enough not to go back to Heaven. Crowley, who we’ve seen will do almost anything for Aziraphale, says, No. I am not putting myself back in that abusive situation. You shouldn’t either; I really wish you wouldn’t; but if you do, I am still not going back there. Not even for you.
#good omens#good omens s2#crowley#heaven#to be clear! crowley does not have a solution to their problems!#but he’s not wrong to hold on to that boundary and i’m proud of him#my good omens meta
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Aroace positivity to outnumber the bots in our tags:
1. First of all, you are valid. Aroace, aroallo, and amatoace people are all inherently LGBTQ+ enough. It’s stupid to say otherwise. The queer community is (generally, and I’m v sorry if I miss anyone here,) for anyone who experiences attraction or gender differently from the current default social norm of cishet. Experiencing it not at all is plenty different enough.
2. This stuff is SO CONFUSING. It’s OKAY if you don’t understand your own feelings. Feelings are WEIRD. I’ve felt what I can only describe as strong queerplatonic attraction 3 times in my life, and in hindsight I can even identify my “type,” but I’m 20 so 3 isn’t very many and also I was equally happy dating them and not dating them.
2.5. (Story) I recently told my dad that my roomie and I are planning to still live together after college, and his response was “so you guys are officially a couple now?” ?????bro WHY would I do that? WHAT part of “living together” necessitates DATING?? That sounds STRESSFUL! Which brings me to,
3. AmatoAllos are going to struggle to understand. This is normal, fine, and not your fault. They can’t conceive of someone not experiencing sensations that are such a notable part of their lives. Be patient and don’t try to force them to get something they just don’t get, but also, that struggle is NOT an excuse to treat you poorly, NOT an excuse to try to push you into dating or copulating when you don’t want to, and NOT an excuse to not listen to you or to invalidate your experiences.
In summary: You’re not wrong, you’re not broken, you’re just different. Different is a neutral trait. If I could choose to stop being aroace right now? I genuinely don’t know what I’d do. Sure, sounds easier to fit into society, and I’d like to stop stressing about what my life will look like without that expected piece, but if I’m all distracted by crushes and wet dreams, how am I ever going to take over the world?! Also the ace and aro communities are some of the kindest and most accepting and more comforting I’ve ever seen, so I wouldn’t wanna give that up. I love myself exactly the way I am.
Love yourself the way you are. I know it can be hard sometimes, but we have to try. Eventually, you get used to loving yourself and it becomes second nature, or a habit at the very least.
I rambled a lot here and it ended up long and wacky, but I’m not sorry because ADHD is part of who I am and I love who I am so. Deal with it. But yea the point is no bots can get in the way of our powerful community and we’re going to eat cake and garlic bread and take over the world.
#if I missed a tag lmk#aroace#aroacespec#aro#aromantic#actually aromantic#ace#asexual#asexuality#aromanticism#aspec#lgbt+#queer#queerplatonic
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Rewriting Charlie: The Princess of Hell
(Using a GIF from the pilot before that’s the only version I like)
I didn't like Charlie in the series not only does she suffer from the terrible conditions of being a female character in a show belonging to Vivziepop but her overall innocence doesn't make sense to me.
I can understand why she would be naive and all that stuff, she probably got heavily sheltered. While we don’t know what her relationship with Lilith is, Lucifer cares enough about her to know that Hell is a dangerous place for a kid. An adult version of her would be aware of Hell being full of dangerous people but would still be vulnerable to extremely good manipulators like Alastor. That’s how her character felt to me when I watched the Pilot.
But then Vivziepop decided to give her a concussion.
It’s not cute or funny, she’s a grown adult and still acts like a child that just freshly got out of the womb. I can understand the optimism, she worked really hard on her project and things are finally starting to set in motion even with a few highs and lows.
But seriously, episode 4 pisses me off, she didn't try to do anything to stop Valentino. Not only did she not listen to Angel Dust who was visibly scared, but she also did nothing when he came out of the dressing room with a black eye. That’s not miscommunication that’s brain damage, the girl was dropped as a baby and her cerebral haemorrhage never stopped.
“But Angel stopped her🥺”
And? She’s the princess of Hell, surely she realizes that the only reason Angel did that was because Valentino told him to do so, surely she understands that the only way she could assure Angel's safety and make sure he followed through with his redemption was to remove Valentino and possibly the other Vees from the equation? Right?
She could rip the contract! She can’t? Well, get your father involved! I’m pretty sure an angel, fallen or not, can do something about a petty contract between two sinners, otherwise, it’s time to actually explain to us how this whole deal and soul-owning work.
Or better, she could simply kill Val, you know? Because Angel isn’t his only victim and killing him would free countless souls from his abuse. She obliviously cares about other sinners, no matter how despicable they are. Wait, what do you mean she’s against violence?
Girl can clearly fight and get violent if necessary, and the Pilot is still canon. Don’t you dare tell me this specific part of her isn’t cannon anymore, you either make a pilot entirely cannon or you simply remake it to fit your new vision? Unless you wanna confuse people.
If I had no other option to protect a friend, and possibly protect other people, Valentino would have been long gone. What are the other Vees gonna do? Be mad? I’m the Princess of Hell if my hair gets touched, Lucie gonna get angry. And if they touch my friend, well, they are dead.
✦ Meet Lenore, they are non-binary
The relationship between Lilith and Samael is open, they aren't married a concept way too holly for hell. It’s quite rare for the two to find themselves in the same place for more than a couple of hours, let alone spending the whole night alone. That’s why Lenore is a such special case since they actually are Samael’s child.
They were born around the early 17th century and visited Earth all the way through the early 18th century to late 19th century, they’re 413 years old making them the youngest of Lilith’s children.
Lenore was not raised by Lucifer of Lilith but by a group of sinners nicknamed Lilith’s Daughters or Lilins. They are women under Lilith’s jurisdiction. I’ll talk about them when I’ll talk about Lilith.
✦ Personality and goals
I pretty much did my own character at this point since Lenore shares little similarities with Charlie, like very little. Their most prominent default is their superiority complex, Lenore is the only child of Samael which makes them pretty powerful by default. They were seen in high regard by the members of society and each expected them to somehow fully bring Hell into this new marvelous era of prosperity.
After centuries of being constantly told that their ancestry made them superior to most, Lenore eventually started to believe it. They won’t directly tell you that you’re weaker, it’s mostly communicated through their behavior and how condescending they can sound when talking to Imps or Sinners compared to royalties.
They also like to flaunt their knowledge over a vast subject of things like witchcraft, which they learned during their childhood with the Lilins. And while yes, they are pretty smart, they still fell to the massive anti-heaven propaganda, essentially believing that The Trinity is this overly powerful dictator and that Hell is the only way you can get away from his wrath… partially. While they do ask lots of questions, questions they learned to keep to themselves, the Authoritarian God is an idea that was fed to them since childhood. It’s hard to see it in another way. No, Lenore doesn’t care that much about Heaven nor do they care about the sinners of Hellborns.
So why a sanctuary? To separate themselves from their parents of course! Familial bonds in the Dawnherald family are really weak, especially considering they grew up with an absent father. Lilith just allowed them to have a portion of land in Limbo after countless requests.
Lenore wants to build their own legacy and something intently better than the kingdom of their parents, first because they don't want to live in their shadow. The praises coming from being their child comes with the price of always being seen as such, just the offspring of two important figures which they don’t want, and second because the foundation of how Hell works is boring. Fears and hopelessness were how Samael and the Fallen Angels imposed their supremacy onto the inferior who were the sinners, while it worked and kept working, Lenore with their ego felt like they could control the population better by weaponizing something rare in Hell, kindness.
In the sinners’ eyes, Heaven abandoned them, Hell is merciless to the weak and there’s Lenore. The one that actually cares, the one that feeds and protects them, their savior. Even if they never see the pearly gate, they sure can feel safe in this false Haven provided by them, how benevolent.
They created a whole persona to hide their true intention, voluntarily creating this reputation of being an inexperienced princet to be able to manipulate gullible people with more efficiency. The more people would underestimate them the more convenient it is for them. The sanctuary is here to test multiple of Lenore’s ideas on how they could change rulership in Hell for the better.
“Everything for the people nothing by the people.”
This is the core of how their sanctuary function, you will get to the safety of a shelter, food, and basic civil rights as long as you obey. This is not a utopia but what Hell has the best to offer, sinners always try to find better options to survive, and the sanctuary just happens to be that. All that is asked from them is obedience and bringing something useful to the community.
This refusal to give any form of agency to their protégé stems again from their Pride and desire to control everything, they simply cannot see themselves outside of a leadership role.
Everyone in Hell sees this as a temporary means, an endeavor they would immediately stop the second they are promoted to be more active in Hell’s politics. Hell thrived with the chaos that occurred because of the harsh life conditions, suddenly changing the system just because one of Lilith’s spawns is pretending to have a ‘better alternative’ would be ridiculous. It is clear that most people see their sanctuary on a surface level and mostly see it as this place where sinners and others are fully free of their movements.
✦ Family
Sheesh! That’s not really a sensitive subject since their interaction with their parents is almost non-existent. Their siblings also seem to not want to have anything to do with them, the feeling is shared.
They never saw Samael in person but they are mostly curious about him. They only know him through history books telling the Tale of this ancient Morningstar finally realizing his self-worth and fighting against the tyranny of the Trinity. It’s easy to pick up the fact that their father holds dear his self-importance, they relate, in a way, but their interest doesn’t go beyond a historian being curious about an unknown historical figure. They never met him, it’s better to not make assumptions.
One question still lingers in their mind… what could drive such a well-respected being to turn away from The Trinity in such drastic ways? The point of dictatorship is to make sure everyone is perfectly indoctrinated into the regime, how did their father, after millennia of servitude randomly pick up on this? These are obliviously questions that they shouldn’t ask and, for the sake of maintaining appearance, it’s best to search the response on their own. At best, they’ll be totally reasonable answers, at worst they’ll find something that they were not meant to see.
Ah, Mother Lilith, they have seen her in person and often have little weekends with her. A charming individual, indeed, they would love her even more if it wasn't for being constantly told to give up on their silly little games with sinners. While they did make up a naive persona for the rest of Hell to be fooled, the fact that their own mother doesn’t take them seriously is appalling to witness.
Lilith is the active ruler of Hell with a handful amount of right-hand men/women if it wasn’t for their pride Lenore would have begged to be put in a position that would allow her to change Hell’s policy. Something they always manage to bring up, even during eventful tea times, those are rare their mother is always busy. The woman is still fun to converse with as she holds wisdom from more than 10 centuries of existence, it’s always useful.
✦ Details
✧ The reason why Lenore doesn’t have a much more important roles in Hell’s hierarchy is because they are young by Hell’s standard.
✧ Right now, Lenore isn’t trying to form any meaningful relationship, they’ll end up with Vaga nonetheless. I did not think of a specific sexuality for them honestly so feel free to fill the void with your headcannon if you want.
✧ Lenore’s a witch, while I’m probably going to go on a magical fantasies type of witchcraft, I’ll still have a few actual things that are actually practiced by actual witches. Plus there are a few practices that can be useful for the story.
✧ Them finding out about redemption and even wanting to do it in the first place is established much later.
#anti vivziepop#vivziepop criticism#vivziepop critique#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel criticism#vivziepop critical#hazbin hotel critique#hazbin hotel rewrite
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If you’re trying to get yourself out of the purity culture mindset of even touching or thinking about “bad” things corrupts people and you’re still Christian or at least still believe in God in some capacity my advice to you is to remind yourself that
A) God is not your judgemental aunt. They see everything and therefore probably have a pretty good understanding of things like harm reduction and how the human brain works considering They invented it. Yours and other people’s involuntary thoughts and coping mechanisms aren’t the enemy winning they’re part of being human and if anything knowing the thoughts you have shouldn’t be acted on is a good sign about your personal character.
B) Certain things you’ve been taught are harmful either aren’t harmful or aren’t as harmful if precautions are taken. Premarital sex is the classic example. Traditionally abstinence was the only reliable way to prevent STIs and unwanted pregnancies but we’ve got the technology now to reduce the chance of that stuff significantly. Besides, if you like it and are being careful and respecting your partners it’s very likely no harm at all will come of it. If you cause no harm on purpose, that’s not a sin. That’s just using what He gave you to have a good time. And even if it was a sin His whole deal is forgiveness. This doesn’t just apply to sex either. Watching media that depicts “immoral” acts, doing drugs, and many other things can be done safely or at least have their impact minimized. Follow your best judgement on these things and when appropriate try to guide people around you to reduce harm in their own lives as well, but don’t try to dictate for them what right and wrong is in their own lives.
C) God basically is the entire universe. They can’t be harmed or destroyed by human action. The universe isn’t a tug of war between God and evil. God made the rope. You or anyone else making mistakes, having a difficult time forgiving someone, sinning, having weird or nasty thoughts from time to time, or doing or making something that blurs the lines between morality or immorality can’t hurt God or the universe. She’s too big for that. And forgiveness and mercy are kind of Her whole thing. One mistake or even many isn’t an earth shattering event. You’ll be okay.
Basically what you need to remember when trying to train yourself out of this mindset of purity culture and never doing anything bad ever is that you need to work to make your default assumption that you’re trying your best, so is everyone else, and judging whether or not something is actually harmful isn’t always a clear cut and easy thing. God understands nuance. They gave us humor as a gift to cope with the struggles of the world. Learning a bit of flexibility with yourself and others isn’t always easy, but you can do it. Rethink your knee jerk reactions. Pray about it if that helps you, and most importantly be kind with yourself and others who are on this same journey. It takes time to unlearn some harmful attitudes you may have been taught. And that’s okay. You’re doing fine.
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i've never even seen the show First is from and yet i love your First x Chase Young ship so i have to ask. If anything did HAPPEN between the two of them what sort of emotions would they be dealing with afterwards?
Wow, this is such an unexpectedly nice compliment for me? Cause it means, you are a Chase/XS fan, who saw my crack ship and went 'I don't know what's going on, but I enjoy your silly little ship, funny crossover shipper.' and you know what? It's very nice and made me happy. ;) Thank you!
And well who said nothing ever happened between them lol IF anything happened between those two (be it emotional or physical ;3), their default way of dealing it would be DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL, in similar but also in slightly different ways.
Chase Young is a man who seemingly doesn't do softer emotions. Any possible feelings and reactions who could be attributed to him actually caring about First Ninja, are re-labeled in his head into him doing all of this because he is trying to manipulate First on his side (and he totally still is, but he also now wants to feed that man, talk with him during long evenings and perhaps take a nap with him, you know, disgusting cute domestic stuff amidst oh i dunno- taking over the world and being evil together. >;))
First Ninja on the other hand, is very much aware that for things to go this far means that he is absolutely having emotions about Chase. But he is also in denial, because how can he betray all of his moral standing and beliefs, if he starting to care about someone like Chase Young? So he shoves it so far deep, he is in denial about denial, and turns completely blind to anything even resembling them being something more than opponents who tentavely respect one another.
#que?#ninja showdown#my immortal soul#is it strange that out of those two i absolutely view Chase is the one who would voice out his wishes& feelings first#if only because Chase Young isn't one to deny himself things he really wants#(of course he has to realize that he wants them in that way first and that might take awhile)#and First Ninja is the one who WOULD deny himself anything just because it doesnt line up with his responsibilities and morals#even if he most likely will be the one to realize his emotions first. he also would have hard time believing sincerity of Chase's feelings#a very strange juxtaposition between the one who puts himself first and the one who never puts himself first#also not gonna lie. I wrote out. like several paragraphs about my headcanons about physical intimacy between those two &how they view it#but than I realized that its probably TMI for an anon ask that didnt ask for that xD so i decided not to subject you to my rants &deletedit#but still sorry
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Mod Organizing & Load Order Shenanigans
Published: 5-1-2024 | Updated: N/A MOD ORGANIZING During the [first] "pandemic summer," I started reorganizing my game folders. I also started a "conflict management" list, containing all the known conflict info from download pages, new conflicts I discover while playtesting, etc. It's 44 pages long at the moment....a testament to my unapologetic mod addiction. I encourage all simmers to keep a list like this. It’s very reassuring (and handy!) to be able to look up known conflicts or keep track of mods which have been merged (duplicate files can break your game FAST!). **I won’t be able to share mine at this time but most of my info comes from the same pages where I download CC/mods - shout out to the creators who take the time to include this info.
MY LOAD ORDER(S) I number my folders and use mostly lower case filenames to force the load order I want – these were the most important changes I made re: how I maintain a heavily-modded-but-still -very-functional game. With few exceptions, this has been much more effective than keeping track of the number of z's and cases. It also means I don't need to rename downloaded files - I just put them in the right folder. When I played exclusively on mac, I learned that numbering the store cc folders was the ONLY way I could get all the content to work. I never figured out why but I imagine it was because the mac series doesn't include expansions required for some of this content.
DETAILS (the codes) I put that grad school debt...I mean...those grad school research skills to good use and made up my own codes. Here they are... 0= files needed in every save aka my "essentials." These include repair files, shader/UI files, CEPs, global probes (like scriptorium, money globals, inteen checker, inventory checker, etc).
1= mods that do NOT need a load order, some OFB-themed sets I want to keep separate from other CC - like the #co2bellabrand or upcoming #co2cdkseries stuff.
2= mods that require a hard load order. As @episims writes HERE, this only works for mods with non-game-breaking conflicts between them. Only the last mod in the sequence will retain ALL its intended functions. The code for this section goes like this: [number]-[what the mod deals with in-game; i make sure to consider alphabetical order]-[load order number] -name of the mod(s)
I have several global mods that need to load as close to LAST as possible. These folders all start with "2-z-[load order #]-." The "2" tells me they need to load in a certain order and the "-z" makes them load after all the other #2 folders.
See Object Freedom 1.02 (@fwaysims, 2023) and Shiftable Everything (@lamare-sims, 2022) both load at #78? I don't have them BOTH in game at the same time, but giving them the same number ensures that the right load order stays no matter which one i'm paying with. 3 = build mode and neighborhood deco/defaults
4= buy mode
"ts1," "ts3," and similar labels = content that was converted for Sims 2.
5=CAS/bodyshop
OTHER DETAILS I also label folders with certain "type codes" - these tell me things like whether they add permanent data to my saves (custom memories, careers, foods, etc. do this) or whether they are maxis-match. Here are some examples:
-BIN = mod files which go in the program folders -DEF = default replacement -MEM = this content includes custom memory data -MM = maxis-match or an add-on for default game furniture -ADD = content that is not maxis-match -NPC = this content includes or changes one or more NPCs -FIX or -EDIT = this is a fixed or uniquely edited version of a pre-existing mod -BETA and -TEST = this mod is unfinished and/or a test version Remember, conflicts do not always mean something has to be removed from your game, nor are all conflicts unresolvable. No matter what kind of method(s) you use to organize your game – it’s just important to try/have at least one in the cut.
CREDITS Thanks: Episims, PleasantSims, and all simmers who include load order/conflict notes. Sources: Beyno (Korn via BBFonts), EA/Maxis, Forcing the Load Order of Mods (whoward/Pick’N’MixSims, 2021 via sims2tutorials), Image(s) (Alexander, 2016), Offuturistic Infographic (Freepik).
...Oh and yes...I AM in fact an INTJ/Capricorn.
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In which I try to figure out Armand:
My brain has been ticking away thinking about Armand ever since episode 2.1. I have been fascinated and irritated by Armand in the off-season, so to speak, because I love Daniel and relate to him so much, and I know Armand is going to be very important to him. But we were given so little of Armand last season it has just felt impossible to get a grip on what his deal is. I am admittedly not a book reader, but I also feel like these feelings are still justified because the show version of Armand is so different than the book, in circumstance at least. So he’s the character I’m most interested in this season.
We still didn’t get a lot of him in ep 1, but I’ve been thinking about him and synthesizing some of the stuff that people have been saying about him in interviews, especially about his relationship to control. I’m specifically thinking about Hannah describing him as “Louis’s creature” and saying that he’ll do whatever Louis wants, and that this is part of their sexual dynamic as well. I think this makes sense with what we’ve seen in the trailers; it seems like Louis is the more sexually dominant one between them. So Armand is happy to be more of a sub in the bedroom and in their original flirtations. Maybe in their earlier dynamic as a couple too, we’ll have to see. Meanwhile, he’s in the background, arranging scenery, pulling strings, trying to do everything he can to hold onto Louis and keep him at least passingly happy. This, by the way, perfectly meshes with his role as director at the theatre. Never in the limelight, but always in control. (The stage management school of sexuality, if you will.). I think that emphasis on control probably becomes more pronounced as the years go on, and Louis is sitting in his grief for Claudia and more of their initial spark dies. But it also perfectly explains the Rashid act. Armand is comfortable playing a servant role. He’s comfortable observing from just off stage. He’s comfortable doing those things if it means ultimately having a better grasp on the way the scene unfolds.
For his part I think Louis is probably drawn to the way Armand seamlessly irons out the bumps in his life. The penthouse is a cage, but Louis is his own jailer; Armand isn’t the one keeping him there. There’s probably an interesting comparison to be made against Lestat here. Lestat revels in melodrama and high emotions, while Armand is intent on maintaining a facade of calm stability. It makes sense to me that Louis would have leaned into this facade, even if he knew it was partially a falsehood, after losing Claudia. I think this is true even around Claudia’s death. It was easier for Louis to forget and forgive whatever part Armand played in it, and allow Real Rashid to hide those diary pages away, than to really reckon with Claudia’s death.
I think Louis requested the interview as part of his general goal to narrativize and soften his own memories and grief, and Armand acquiesced in order to keep Louis. The original goal of the interview was for Louis to convince himself he really had killed Lestat, literally and maybe emotionally too. I think it’s possible that Lestat is back in the picture somehow and the interview is Louis’s last ditch effort to convince himself not to return to his maker. But then of course the whole thing goes off the rails and Louis ends up facing down his true memories for the first time in years. It makes sense that when put in an uncomfortable situation- watching Louis talk about Lestat- Armand would default to his old role of manipulating things from the wings of the metaphorical penthouse stage. Him stepping into the interview is a big departure from that, and shows how effectively Daniel has rattled him.
So how this plays against Daniel is interesting. Armand is putting on a big show about how he and Louis were able to manipulate Daniel in San Francisco. But I wonder how true that ever really was. I imagine even in San Francisco, Daniel represented a completely opposite dynamic to Armand’s relationship with Louis, which would have hooked Armand’s attention. If Louis appeared in control on the surface, but relied on Armand’s ability to arrange the periphery of his life, Daniel would have appeared to be easily (and perhaps happily) dominated, but resistant to Armand’s larger attempts to control his life. Obviously I don’t know exactly how they’ll play out a 1970s devil’s minion scenario. But I imagine that Daniel’s addiction, and Armand’s misguided attempts to protect him from it, will play a role in whatever kind of break up and memory erasure ensues. Whether it was the addiction or his personality or something else, there was some element of Daniel that was too wild for Armand to tame. He threw him back into the pond, all memories of being snared on the fishing line erased. And it’s entirely possible that Armand feels this loss of control very deeply. As heartbreak and loss, but also as a scary moment when his grip on the love that he needs in his life faltered. It’s possible that the break up with Daniel made him even more determined to control outcomes with Louis. And it’s also possible that the pain that he felt when he originally lost Daniel is causing him to revise and edit his own memories of his relationship with Daniel. If Daniel broke Armand’s heart, it would be a lot easier to remember him as a silly boy Armand manipulated in tandem with Louis than someone Armand actually found fascinating. Admitting otherwise means admitting his own weakness. So memory becomes the monster, again, even if you are the one controlling the vampire amnesia.
For what it’s worth, I currently think that Louis doesn’t know about Armand’s past with Daniel. I don’t think Louis would be as vulnerable with Daniel if he knew. And that would point to Armand once again subtly manipulating and managing Louis, completely hiding his connection to this mortal from him.
Regardless, I don’t doubt that Daniel was less fearsome in San Francisco than he is now in Dubai. (The show’s insistence that an elderly disabled man is just as powerful in his own way as an immortal vampire is perfection, and it makes me want to kiss all the writers on the mouth). He’s even less controllable by Armand than he once was (if he ever was), and he’s intent on finding out Armand’s truth, and the truth of their connection. I was really struck by Assad saying in an interview that the thing that Armand wants most is acceptance. He craves love and acceptance, but is terrified to show his real self and be vulnerable. Thats why he’s continuing to play stage manager to Louis’s love. But Daniel is coming for his true self in Dubai whether Armand wants it or not. And I imagine that is both extremely confronting but also ultimately attractive to Armand.
I deeply hope we get to see Daniel crack Armand’s sense of control. I hope we get to see Armand being vulnerable to Daniel and Daniel being receptive to that. I also hope we get to see Daniel facing down Armand as the source of his trauma (because being stalked, bitten, and then having your memories forcibly repressed is trauma, even if Daniel was attracted to Armand through it). I hope we get to see the way that trauma and fear and desire and love intermingle. And I also hope that when Daniel breaks Armand’s sense of control and sees his true self, he still likes what he sees. Because I would like Armand to get that acceptance from someone, even when his worst tendencies are laid bare.
(Oh, and while I’m making predictions- I’m not worried about 70s Devils Minion not happening, or them interacting in the 70s but it not turning into some form of romance. There is simply no better way to add stakes to the Dubai iterations of the characters than to give them this hidden history, and Rolin has talked extensively about needing to bring Daniel into the story in a personal way and crank up the conflict happening in Dubai. The penthouse is no longer just a framing device, but a site of active conflict and growth, and the only way you do that is exploring past and future DM dynamics. In ep 1 it’s still mainly acting as a frame, but I’m really excited to see its importance grow over the season).
Armand is such an intriguing mystery, but if I’m right about some of this stuff I actually relate quite strongly to him too. (I am reminded of a Brennan Lee Mulligan quote, where he describes characters you love/play as being garages attached to your actual personality of a house, and sometimes some piece of writing or improv shoots a sniper rifle perfectly through the garage door into the house and hits you in the heart)
@bluedalahorse warned me that this is how you really get stuck on a ship, when you see pieces of yourself in both characters, and I do fear that she is right.
So we’re really in it now, is what I’m saying. Send me your Armand thoughts, I want all of them. I will be counting down the days until episode 5 and obsessing until it airs. I’ll check back in on this meta later, I guess, to see how correct or incorrect I was.
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i very deeply respect your mashposting and even though im not as enthusiastic about hawkahy as you are i think the content you make for them us delightful and some of the best mashposting on this godforsaken website. that being said, i wanted to know ur takes on the hawkeye & trapper dynamic, and the hawkeye & bj dynamic. Not in a shippy way, just in the World of Hawkahy what role do trapper and bj play in their relationships with hawkeye :3 this because i love that one comic u did where hawkeye is spunchbop and bj is Patrick its one of my fave pieces of mash fanart lol
(๑˘❥ ˘๑) first off, THANK YOU!! i'm soooo crazy about hawkahy and i really enjoy contributing to my fellow shippers, but i'm glad my art can also still appeal to people who are less interested the ship itself.
second, VERY fun question!! i wish i had definitive answers for yall, but you know me... i love to go "well idk it could go either way" ^_^;; really, it depends on what kind of tone and theme i'm looking for. i don't really write heavier stuff (because i have so much fun writing funny fic) so that kind of narrows my options, but there's a lot of potential i'd love to explore— or see someone else explore, if they're so inclined!
TRAP:
generally the trapper reading i typically default to is that he and hawkeye have a pretty casual FWB thing going on. trapper considers hawkeye a very close friend and hooks up with him at an intersection of bicuriosity and deep platonic affection, but hawkeye catches baddddd feelings and ends up genuinely heartbroken to find out their thing was lopsided. in this case, hawkahy would happen only after trapper leaves— mulcahy has a tough time trying to get noticed before that point :( but at the same time, i don't think mulcahy would pounce at the first opportunity, because i don't think an immediate rebound would be good for hawkeye nor mulcahy... but it could happen for dramaaaaa...
another version of the hawkeye-trapper rapport that i love playing with in my fics is trapper being generally very supportive but nonetheless slightly grossed out. i think there's a lotttt of comedy potential with hawkeye thinking it's okay to fuck a priest but NOT a married woman, and meanwhile trapper is pro-infidelity but anti-priestfucking (for whatever reason), and they squabble and tease each other about it the whole time.
it's also funny to think about is trapper trying to figure out whether mulcahy now gets the "one of the bros" back-slapping beer-chugging dude treatment, or if instead he's now slotted into the "go easy on 'em trap" category that protects hawkeye's ladyfriends from hearing trapper's bawdiest jokes and comments when hawkeye brings them along as a plus-one to the swamp.
trapper seems like he's pretty likely to sniff out that hawkeye and mulcahy are seeing each other even if they try their damnedest to keep it secret. i like to think hawkeye trusts trapper enough that he would go ahead and divulge it it up front pretty soon after it's official. trapper could probably even pick up hawkeye's crush beforehand... maybe even before hawkeye knows about it!
i don't see trapper as being too jealous of hawkeye spending a lot of time with mulcahy, even if it means hawkeye is now exclusive and not sleeping with trapper anymore. if anything i think he'd be pretty stoked that he's got one less guy to compete with for the nurses' attention. pretty sweet deal as far as he's concerned.
i do think there'd be some tricky navigating between how hawkeye acts with trapper and the STARK difference with how he acts around mulcahy, which you can see clear as day in the s1 finale, where hawkeye gets soooo soft and careful while talking to mulcahy. i don't think either one is disingenuous; i think hawkeye contains multitudes. hawkeye's not the type to fake sincerity. and to that end, i really don't think hawkahy should hinge on hawkeye totally giving up all the cruder parts of his personality (especially since mulcahy is really no saint either), so it could be pretty interesting to see that manifest in whether/how he's still maintaining a close friendship with trapper now that he's been seeing mulcahy regularly and trying to make a good impression.
BEEJ:
the direction bj goes in depends on whether hawkahy are already an item before he gets there. he does form that almost instantaneous trauma-bond with hawkeye on his first day, but i think if hawkeye admitted "yeah by the way the chaplain is my boyfriend" as soon it seemed safe, bj would be able to take it in stride as another weird little quirk of the mash he has to get used to. he's too hung up on dealing with all the gore to worry about who's banging who.
by contrast, i think he could potentially get pretty upset/jealous if hawkeye and mulcahy paired up a little while later. i can see him feeling really betrayed, like, "what do you normally do when i'm gone?" "wait for you to get back!!"
if bj still doesn't feel like he's really enmeshed himself into the unit— which i think on some level, he never wants to, because he's banking on dropping everything like a hot potato the second he can— then i can totally picture him just feeling completely lost and isolated when hawkeye is suddenly forgoing their boys-nite boozathons in favor of getting some priest pipe. like, at least trapper could always go find his own cuddle buddy to pass the time and had nurses lining up to volunteer; bj has basically nobody and doesn't seem inclined nor equipped to fix that. hawkeye is his liason to the rest of the camp, and bj isn't so great with people without having hawkeye there to help as both teleprompter and safety net.
basically i think bj wants to keep hawkeye within a very specific arm's-length radius— not too close, but not too far either, and hawkeye having so much private time with someone else could really get under his skin.
you could also have bj think the priestfucking is gross/bad on sheer principle like trapper did, even without the jealousy angle, and it'd probably hold a little more water coming from bj than trapper. however, it'd be funny if he's insisting it's definitely not a jealousy thing and he's being fully objective about it, but you can totally tell he's just jealous. x)
i admit i kinda love seeing bj get tormented, because he's got such obvious buttons to press and yet sternly insists that they don't even exist, similar to houlihan and frank. like, you can't just set that up and not expect me to rub my hands together and SLAM those buttons as hard as i can. ergo, bj getting jealous about hawkahy is supremely funny to me. i'm not too proud to admit that!
#shebbz shoutz#ask#mash#hawkahy#obligatory caveat of These Are Just My Takes and i'm not looking for a debate so if you disagree just ignore me :P
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tales of berseria au of vesperia - raven/schwann
rambling and ref images under the cut
finally re emerging from my cave to talk about raven. if anyone was looking forward to more of these(??) sorry for the long break. my output is extremely unpredictable. anywaysss
[shuffling papers] between the "theres two of them" and the fact that he has a somewhat japanese inspired outfit AND a knight persona, raven seemed like an obvious fit for "kind of the rangetsu brothers". also, i once saw schwann before playing vesperia, and thought to myself "that must be raven's brother". which is really funny. (to me at least)
so raven is a daemon and its visibly obvious in his raven persona. but as schwann, its a big secret and he's a high ranking praetor in the abbey. i think this might make him a semi-willing therion? in any case, he's still been reshaped and controlled by alexei.
hes also filling the role of traitor but maybe not in the same way he did in vesperia exactly and...certainly different from the berseria traitor in motives lmao. kidnapping estelle is still on the table i suppose but so is like, killing "aifread" (seifer) and stuff like that. as always this au exists in a permanently malleable state because i/we have no intention to write it and i welcome anyone else to do that.
design notes...i think the raven look is a fairly even split between vesperia raven's default outfit and the rangetsu brothers' clothes. didnt really pull anything from raven's alternate costumes on that one! as for schwann, it took a bit to figure out what i wanted. schwann has the one winged cape in vesperia, but i was really trying not to have him looking too much like artorius, because it felt weird LOL. ive been sticking pretty close to the standard abbey color scheme so far, but shigure has orange accents himself, so i figured schwann could have his orange as well. i feel like he ended up distinct enough?
the daemonblighted skin* obviously comes from rokurou as well. in raven's case, its on his face where his schwann haircut would cover it, trailing down to vaguely the shape of his blastia heart. my wife joked that this made him look a little like yuri (au) and that yuri's probably annoyed about it.
as with the last time i posted this stuff you're welcome to make derivative works, credit is nice but it's not a big deal, tag me if you want i would be delighted to see it.
we figured out some stuff for patty and karol and at some point i will finally nail down repede so maybe it wont be another year before i make another one of these! no promises though!
*i dont think this is ever used to describe rokurou's face or anything like that but "daemonblight" is the word used to describe the transformation into a daemon(/hellion) in berseria so this is how we've taken to describing it
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Concept: peacock harpy vil or lady Amherst pheasant vil but we amp up the wonderland fever dream qualities of the world. Like really pump in that wonderland quality of "wtf is going on" vibe, "pink elephants" alcohol acid trip from Dumbo, and fever dream-esque stuff. I want Vil to bedazzle and entrance people, the eye spots move and follow you, absolutely mesmerizing.
Need to work this out and flesh it out obviously but basically poison feathers like the colorful corvid (adds extra color and also added reason for why he must maintain his upkeep), eyefeathers that have working eyes but it's still "eyespots", Sure he's gorgeous but that Amhersts Pheasant hood also is out but it's covering his face cause insecurity but also its for "looks". <- "is he showing off like the Show Bird he is or hiding his true face" type of deal
v Vv this is the Pheasant I speak of btw
Not Sure what to Call this au but the Vibe is: over Saturated colors, eldritch but in a "colors, haze, dreams" way & not "flesh melting, mind bending, contorting" way. For a lot of the world this holds true: Intentions & perceptions & emotions shape the world So for above Vil is an idol and he is watching & being watched & is wary of this thus all the eyespots that also do eye things. All eyes on him, it's how he thrives but he also must keep an eye on others. Still figuring it out but it's like if Symbolism & Perceptions (both internal & external) affected the physical world.
fever dream au Shall be the current name holder. I'll figure it out. Yuu/reader can be whatever technically but for this fever dream au default is regular human who Fell into a portal or something Idk. basically usual Yuu. Yes I am imagining romantic and/or Platonic, basically whatever pops into my head.
am open to suggestions & Yaps. still figuring the au out honestly
will add as it comes to me.
#twisted wonderland#ideas#twisted wonderland ideas#vil schoenheit#fiden rants#fever dream au#twst au#twisted wonderland x reader
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hi scrumptious! (back in the days when your name wasn’t displayed i always remembered you as scrumptious so im just calling you that way, sorry sueee lolol)
let’s go to delulu land! im building this opinion since khaotung said he loved first as kant, and how he always says that. Sometimes i think is just his way of trying to say to first to act more like kant, i don’t know how kant is but just by the trailer i can say he is very into physical touch and maybe khaotung is just craving this. First already said that khaotung never let go of his hand when they were filming, holding even when were screamed “cut”. At the same time, i think first is afraid to be much touchy with his bestie and casually fall in love (they already are) he seems like someone who will hold his feelings and never do anything about it (when it comes to liking his bestie friend who is also his coworker). And khaotung, by saying all this stuff waits to first do something so he can react and loose himself in him.
im really delulu, i feel like they are just like akkayan in some aspects but maybe thats just me. tell me your insights about all of this!!!
Hello anon!!!! I see we are becoming even more delulu 😂.
But I don’t blame you, THK era has highlight even more how our boys are so sticky with each other (for the lack of better term).
From the boys casually sitting on top of each other (as evident by the many BTS videos/photos taken by others) to their Polycat concert shenanigans plus Jojo pretty much giving up and saying “I don't know what to tease you two about anymore” during the THK wrap up party; clearly these 2 are no longer as shy in displaying their close relationship (and I'm all here for it!) - so, I'm not exactly sure what you meant by KT craving more touch (from First) because it seems they are already all over each other (highlighted even more so with the recent THK Press Tour! - so adorable!!!!).
I also mentioned in a previous ask that when these 2 are excited/can't control their emotions/feel comfortable with their surroundings, they really do treat each other bodies like an extension of their own. The casual touch and gesture with the other party just accepting it is so fascinating to me (cause I'll tell you now, I don't even like my own family members touching me most of the time). I am also taking the opportunity to shout out to Joong/Dunk being FK adopted sons (or if in Dunk/Khao case, the latter being everyone's sunshine baby to the point even the THK admin pointed this out...🤭)
We already know KT adores First as Kant (he has said countless of time he finds Kant the best character so far out of their series, which I still find funny, cause I think the interviewers/host from KT party was actually asking him what's his fav role to date and he just goes off tangent and promote his soulmate instead hehe). Is it because Kant is meant to be this flirtatious, suave tattooist who pulls all the move to make sure Bison (and by default KT as well hehe) trapped in his allure? Who knows? Maybe! But, we all know, it is Bison who really holds the power in their relationship (at least in the bedroom anyway, 😆). I get the impression though, while Kant may have fallen for Bison first - once Bison commits to a person, he will be fiercely protective (and murderous, 😅) on behalf of his loves ones (so, when Bison finds out of Kant's deception, all hell will break loose)
Either way, since both boys are method actors, I have no doubt that there are some element of their characters seeping into their real life persona a little bit (especially KT, where FK admits KT always take longer to come out of character) - so, him clingy to First and refuse to let his hands go even after they finish filming, oh yes? This tracks nicely! Also that recent comment by First saying the KT he has to deal with at 6am is very different with the KT he deals with at 7pm??? (which ahem, also tells me, these 2 are TOGETHER pretty much 24/7. I mean we all expected this but its nice to have confirmation).
Look, I truly don't know whether these 2 are in a romantic relationship (in my delulu world, these 2 are in a comfortable spot where they know themselves what they meant for each other but is just letting everyone else make assumptions 😏). Either way though, I am eagerly waiting for Khaotung (or First) to casually drop a bombshell they are now cohabiting in KT's brand new house (whenever that will be completed) - because you just wait, they will drop this random fact suddenly or might pull a EarthMix move 😉
You have no idea how much this ask meant to me. Cause not only has it not been a shitty day in general from the news we have at present (why America? 😭), but also I am still getting asks from anti-CPs or solo F/K stans who are (for god knows why) trying to convince me of their narrative (like the fact I’m no longer answering those asks mean something?)
So, your delightful ask about FK and us being delulu - I’M ALL FOR IT. Let’s all stay in delulu land forever 🤍🧡💫.
(source of pictures/gifs in the pictures)
07/11/2024
#delulu land - lets just stay there forever#queerplatonic my beloved hill#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#soulmate besties#asked and answered#firstkhao#kantbison#THK era
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