#but this has been bugging me recently
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i think that a lot of the fandom mischaracterises hijacked!peeta and it low key bugs me
because he isn't a single-minded murderer or filled with bloodlust - he's terrified
like a wounded animal, he lashes out at katniss because of how much he fears her; his mind has been so utterly warped that he can't see an escape other than through violence. he's convinced she's going to torture him, so he wants to stop her
which is why i think the idea that he hurts her post-mockingjay isn't a fair assumption; by this point, he's recovered enough that he is no longer violent. even in the capitol, his final descriptive relapse shows him punishing himself before he's willing to lay a hand on katniss
while he'll obviously never fully recover, his reported periods of relapse (grabbing the back of chairs and the like) are drawn from terror, previously aimed at katniss and later at himself as he gains back functionality
he was never warped into a mutt, or stripped of his personhood, or turned into a sadist. he was just made to fear everyone and everything - primarily katniss, which then manifested as a fear of himself.
#this feels like basic media literacy a little bit so forgive me if it's not the most insightful post#but this has been bugging me recently#he's just a silly little guy#peeta mellark#the hunger games#thg#katniss everdeen#thg series#mockingjay#everlark#peeta my beloved#katniss and peeta#the hunger games peeta
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How are we feeling about ensekai’s emu3 translation!!! (I’m mad)
(if you remember the 3 whole posts i made when asahi got de-gayed on EN you'll know i am mad too and that this is probably going to get long)
i don't like to be too cynical but it was so obvious that they were going to change that line, i had a feeling since the event first released on JP and after the incident with Asahi where I went through and tracked down multiple other examples of EN removing queer subtext it became clear to me that in no way shape or form was "emu-chan really loves nene-chan" making it to EN without getting changed. what i didn't expect was them changing Nene's line after Luka's comment, which actually makes this whole situation far worse than many of their other instances of toning down queer subtext.
for anyone who isn't aware of what happened, in chapter 5 of the current Emu event, there's a scene where Nene, Rui and the Virtual Singers are talking about what would cheer Emu up. The vsingers all talk about how much Emu loves spending time with Nene, leading to the following exchange
If you look for them, any fan TL of this scene will be something similar to this:
Luka: ...Fufu. Emu-chan really loves Nene-chan, doesn't she? Nene: Th-that's nothing special...
EN's official translation is this:
So what's the issue? I'll start with Luka's part. In the original text, she uses the word daisuki, which can mean to "like a lot" or "love". It's a word you will see frequently in the idol/idol-adjacent genre of games, due to its ambiguity in that it can be read as either platonic or romantic when used towards a person, and often will be used in ambiguous situations so that it's harder to confirm the writers' intentions either way. so here, fans of the emu/nene ship could view the fact that emu loves spending her time with nene as more on the romantic side, but people who don't like the ship could view it as platonic and move on.
while they didn't translate daisuki directly, Luka's line still works, and still contains the ambiguity that works as ship tease in the original text. it's a perfectly fine localisation that still conveys the original intent. despite that, there is something to be said about EN's consistent refusal to translate daisuki as love in most instances when it's not used on An/Kohane (but then again, EN has literally teased An/Kohane on their twitter account so is it all that surprising?).
Here's some examples:
Aibou no koto ga daisuki de / he loves his partner -> he cares about his partner very much (The Power of Unity chapter 7 when Kaito is comparing Arata to Akito and Toya)
HARUKA-CHAN, DAISUKI DAYOOOO!!! / HARUKA-CHAN, I LOOOOOVEEE YOU!!! -> You're the best!!! (Dear Me, As I Was Back Then chapter 4 when minori is at an ASRUN concert. this one isn't actually that great of a localisation)
Honachan no koto daisuki dakara. Kore de iinda yo. / I love Honachan, so this is fine. -> I want what's best for her. And this is it. (Leo/need main story chapter 14 after Saki tells Honami she won't bother her anymore)
Minna daisuki de - taisetsuna tomodachi na no / I love them all - they're my dearest friends -> They're all amazing, and very dear to me. (Leo/need main story chapter 17. this isn't good either)
What's particularly amusing about that last one is that there's a second official translation for it that I assume was done by JP staff (since EN never promoted doing the Journey to Bloom subs like they did back when they provided subs for Petit SEKAI) that actually keeps the word daisuki as love.
Yeah. I love all my friends - and they mean the world to me.
It's a better localisation than the official EN team one.
Questionable localisation choices aside, Luka's line is fine and is actually in line with the original. The issue with this localisation very much lies with Nene's part, because that is an entirely new line.
In the original text, Nene's "that's just normal" or "that's nothing special" or however you choose to TL it, is meant to be her questioning Luka's statement, since all the things that the other vsingers said that Emu liked were pretty normal things like going shopping and playing video games with nene. To Nene, these things are normal activities for them to do together, so she gets embarrassed by the fact that Luka concludes from that information that Emu loves Nene. When I dissect it like that I think you can really tell what the writers were going for here lol.
"That's just us being friends" does still convey the idea that Nene thinks these activities aren't anything out of the ordinary and she isn't sure why the vsingers are picking these out as some of Emu's favorite things to do, but it's very different from the original line. "But those are just normal things we do together" is something I just came up with on the spot, but it's a lot closer to the original text and still conveys the same meaning. The fact they changed the line to "that's just us being friends" is, honestly, not even subtle that they're covering up queer subtext. The original scene was very clearly written in as ship tease, and EN mentioning "friends" for no reason, especially since the word nor anything close to it was not used in the original, is instantly a red flag because it's like the go-to for queerbaiting and censorship. This was intentional. There was no need for them to specify that the relationship is platonic, Luka's part is ambiguous for a reason so that fans can view it how they like.
Just to top all this off, here's Rin's original line just before that Luka+Nene interaction:
Oh, and! And! She said that playing games with Nene-chan is also super fun!
And here's Rin's line from the official EN translation:
That's not the same thing, but even more weirdly, the incorrect part (super fun->really loves) is a correct translation for the part changed in Luka's line. So, they can do it, they are willing to say "really loves", just not in the right places. Maybe because Rin's part is less personal than Luka's part? It's strange actually, this isn't the first time they've done this either. Off the top of my head I can think of an example from Shiho's Varied Kindness 2* story where they translated the word "suki" as really loves, despite that being much stronger than the original word used (and the fact that daisuki is used a lot in the Leo/need stories and it's incredibly rare if not entirely unknown for them to translate it correctly).
It's not subtle that they're trying to remove implications of the characters possibly being queer, they did it in curtain call and they did it in walk on and on, and multiple times before then too. And considering some of the content in this year's events and the amount of times they say daisuki alone, it's gonna keep happening. honestly i hate the fact that i keep trying to justify the translations in these posts. these translations are intentional. what happened in the curtain call translation back in october says enough. when a character who uses explicitly romantic language towards another guy passes as a straight character in the translation you know they're doing it on purpose.
oh and once again, it's only the EN server that has this issue. The scene in question was translated almost word-for-word on the TW and KR servers.
read fan translations. they're better than what EN gives us and people put a lot of effort into them.
#since the EN translation qualifies as a leak i am scheduling this to post when the event drops#asks#mod talks#i'm going to leave this in the tags because i don't want to make the post any longer#but something that's been really annoying to see recently on twt has been the gradual uptick of players saying that there's no queer#characters/subtext/etc in the game outside mizuki being trans. and i do wonder if EN's consistent habit of toning down#or outright removing moments of heavy subtext and other more ambiguous shiptease moments has anything to do with it.#that or people live under a rock because even EN keeps most of An and Kohane's relationship intact and there's still plenty of#moments that were impossible to edit or tone down due to being plot relevant or being part of longer interactions that wouldn't make sense#if part of it was changed. like the An wedding event.#eh maybe people are just ignorant.#but anyway it does bug me immensely that EN-only players are getting a censored version of the game. it's 2024. staff can do better.#also like i mentioned in the part about rin. they /add in/ things occasionally. so why the hell are they removing so much?
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Y'all realize garlic bread started as an asexual symbol first right? The whole start of it was in reference to "garlic bread is better than sex" idk where the idea came about that it started as an aromantic symbol with "bad garlic breath saving you from kissing"???
Not saying garlic bread can't be a shared symbol but it's super weird to hear ppl claiming it was an aro only symbol and completely ignoring the roots it has as a symbol in the ace community??
#text#i say this as an aroace who has been in both communities#and didnt hear anything about garlic bread as an aro only symbol until recently#like i heard it being in ace and aroace circles#but just aro? it being just an aro symbol??? thats news to me and i've been in the community for so e time now#like aros can also use it as a symbol but to ignore the ace symbol origins seems kinda fucked 2 me#yall cant claim an ace symbol and then erase its ace roots that not how that works#ace#asexual#aro#aromantic#aroace#tbh i dont believe ppl mean malice its probably ppl being misinformed#but still it is bugging me to see an ace symbol erased as an ace symbol so readily amongst other aspecs
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Vampire drinking from blood banks is stealing/worse than killing. Bad take.
Vampire drinking from blood banks is literally just them getting help for a disability?? Maybe they had to steal it but it really isn’t their fault. Idk why we’re blaming a vampire for needing to drink blood without wishing to kill- oh but people who need it will lose out- the vampire needs it too- oh but the vampire chose to become a vampire- okay. They still need the blood.
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I need to see more character designs that don't treat wearing makeup as the default for women I'm so freaking tired of it. why do female characters always have to have eyeliner or mascara or lipstick or eye shadow or some combo or all of the above. why is wearing makeup so expected that in cartoons you can tell if a character's supposed to be female by whether they have lips or not
#bambi's rambling#i'm Having a Moment here#as someone who doesnt wear makeup this aspect of character design has been bugging me lately#like i saw the inside out sequel recently and like. even though riley doesnt wear makeup sadness joy and disgust all clearly do#they have lips and outlined eyes when the male characters dont (disgust even has eyelashes when no one else does)#and its just. one instance of many#its so ingrained into the way we think about characters (especially cartoons) that a lot of people dont even question it
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Call me Hermann the way I. The way I
#meursault lcb#limbus company#lcb#limbus company meursault#mersault limbus company#gcorp meursault#<- incase I actually draw my design for him properly one day#Because I so badly want him to be real#The gcorp identities are my favourites#can bug romance really bloom on the battlefield. to me YES.#His horns need to be bigger but this was just for funzies so maybe another day#meurbeetle <3#doodle#as well#cause my recent stuff has been a lot less. doodle-y haha#I feel like this has become a meursault posting page
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i was right :((
#this sucks actually#basically ive been getting bug bites#from some mystery bug im allergic to#and based on a few things i assumed it was fleas#why else did it keep biting me? it had to have some benefit & i know im not allergic to mosquitoes#+ i knew it couldnt really get to me under my covers#i knew it was small bc the amount of bites increased but i never spotten anything#so fleas#BUT my parent apparently checked my cat for fleas whilst i was at school and found nothing#shes not very likely to get fleas bc she doesnt really get a chance to#she barely interacts with the others bc we have to keep her separate#if we dont one of our cats keeps fighting her#and she hasnt gone into the garden once#i change clothes after getting home usually so its not very likely she got them from those#anyway all this means shes been suffering for a good bit and i didnt figure it out#i did notice something was off#she kept trying to eat a poisonous plant and got really bothersome with it#but i also got that one really recently so i thought it might just be the plant#mine#cats <3#it has to be fleas or some type of mite on my cat
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Sometimes I wonder if aces forget you can be ace and gay, and gays forget you can be gay and ace. Multiple times I've seen people arguing like "I hc this character as ace" and someone else saying "no that's not possible because I hc this character as gay/lesbian" and as an acespec lesbian it makes me want to scream. Especially because if you offer up the possibility of asexual homoromantic as a very convenient option that should satisfy both parties, neither side likes that
#eloise bridgerton#luffy one piece#dont even get me started on people forgetting asexuality is a spectrum#its arguments like these that make me feel like i dont fit in with either the ace or lesbian community#sorry for the random afternoon feels but this has been bugging me silently for a long time and one piece tumblr has broke me#ive seen multiple aroace vs bi arguments for luffy recently and it reminded me of what happened in a few comment sections about bridgerton
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Child me would be so happy if they saw who I am today- That's not something I would've ever thought I would say, but here I am. It's kind of surreal, if I'm being honest.
That poor kid went through so much pain and suffering, but I never gave up. I have my system to thank for my safety, my ability to bounce back. I am fractured but whole- broken but beautiful.
If only he could see all the good that has come into our life. Yes, I live with the same abusive family, but there is so much good.
I finally got the accommodations I always needed, I can finally say I have friends who care about me and understand me, and I can even say that the suicidal ideation I've dealt with my whole life is not an issue- and so much more that I'm grateful for. Itty Bitty Bugz would be amazed.
I've fought tooth and nail to get here. I've fought so much I scratched myself in the process, but gods be damned I am here. I am alive and breathing, surviving but thriving.
Things will never be the same- not that there ever was a moment of my life not colored with trauma- but I will always be resilient. I will always fight for my life, even if it's far from perfect.
Those who hurt me in the past- they tormented me, made every waking moment of my life hell, yet somehow, I find it in my heart to forgive them. Forgiveness not for them, but me, so I may let go of the past and step into the future- a happy future.
Many of them can only see me in their dreams at this point, but I will never forget them and the pain they cause me. Yet, despite everything they did to me, I came out on top.
Child me would be so happy. There is hope.
#random thoughts#just kinda rambling#I just the other day had a moment of noticeable healing- I realized I hadn't had suicidal thoughts in months. That's huge for me#I've been suicidal as far back as I can remember- I never wanted to live. I wanted the pain to stop.#the pain doesn't stop- not while I still live with my family- but I can cope. I have been coping.#I will say tho- My therapist has been amazing for all of this. I think having a specialist for DID made everything click#It does suck knowing that there was never not a moment of my life where I wasn't being traumatized#Those memories came back to me. But ykno what? It's just a part of my story#I don't think I would wish for my life to have gone differently. as fucked as that sounds.#I just wouldn't be the person I am today had I not gone through what I did. And I'm pretty proud of the person I see in the mirror#Someone recently told me I was extremely resilient and I'm just like- I've had to be but I love that I am#WELL... anyways#enough rambling#just my own thoughts about my healing#Idk if this needs any tws but put an ask in my anons if it does#the bug speaks
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I’m so tired of the internet
#like idk something about it has been really bugging me recently#short form content and the fact that everything has to condense into like five seconds of content to even be noticed#how everything has to have a little gameplay video or something going on beneath it so people will actually pay attention#idk#and this isn’t even mentioning tiktok#I personally am not on it but god it seems like a cesspool where you send your attention span to go die#and the fact that reels. shorts. tiktoks. they’re all engineered to keep you hooked and keep you scrolling#anyway just a meaningless rant#ramblingeyes
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saw a tweet that was like "who will win most problematic love interest of shoujosei anime for 2024" and kazehaya was part of list and i just. if we're having problems with kazehaya NOW i need EVERYONE to leave the goddamn scene because what the fuck
#also that man has been around since 2005????#kimi ni todoke isn't NEW#i mean i know we just got season 3 for the anime#and the live action is super recent#but the series has been around for sooo long#something bugs me about it but i can't place my finger on what#anyways case in point get kazehaya out of there he has done nothing wrong and i love him!!#sou says stuff
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1000 Followers Update!
Due to some super fun chronic health shenanigans, the posting for the 1000 Followers Celebration is being postponed a month! Posting will start on 2/2 with to all the ghost still standing in this room, and continue as previously planned from there. Thank you guys for bearing with me-- I struggled with the idea of even postponing for a week, but it became very clear on Monday that I would not be able to catch up with the schedule unless I took an extended break to recover. Can't wait to show you guys what I've got up my sleeve!
#1000 followers#i don't talk much about my illness struggles on here because without a word count limit#i would absolutely write myself into a terrible spiral talking about some of the very recent setbacks#but I do weekly goals up on twitter and I often talk about what's going on there#so it's only fair that i explain a bit in some tag chatter where i have to stay on task#to start: i'm fine and I'm going to be quick to recover now that i've gotten my meds#but due to all sorts of insurance bullshittery that has occurred since september/october#my last three infusions have been over a week late. two of them have been nearly two weeks or over#and coupled with a particularly nasty stomach bug + christmas stress#i ended up with extremely bad exhaustion and brain fog#and on monday finally flared#thankfully i was able to move my infusion up a day so I only had to wait until wednesday#and me and my husband had planned that I would be out of commission for the 10 days my meds were overdue#so I just had to triage my commitments and lay low until they could get me what i needed#it's been two days and i'm doing much much better. back to a place where I can actually write#probably at a better place than i have been since the beginning of December since today I nearly blew through 1K without even trying#but it's been 2-3 weeks of barely being able to scratch out what i consider my minimum#and then a week and change of not being able to even READ without it overwhelming me#so i finally had to face the music of: not only can I NOT do this on time but I need fully shift it#so that I can work without stressing myself or my limits#i am a rat gnawing at the bars of my little rat cage over it but it is what it is#tldr; i'm here i'm fine i just have to accept my human limitations and i don't like it
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What a good episode. Maaaaaan
#I can't even start I'd be here forever#It did take me in fact like one hour total to watch it lmoa. It sooooo good!!! The animation is very good#(albeit it's awfully low on brightness at times. But such seems to be the sin of lot of recent media unfortunately)#but I'm not even going to dwell on that. The plot / storytelling is so good. Sooooo god. I adore this arc.#Love the symbolism. I've been saying this for almost two years now (is it really been that long ever since these episodes came out... ) but#I want to write an analysis on the op & ed so baddd. The emphasis on the twilight this episode!!#Like the sun was setting on the detective agency. I love love love the hd. They're so cool in this episode and they're so cool in general.#I ADORE Jouno. I don't feel particularly strongly for sue/giku yet their scenes are so cute and funny. I see why people ship them.#Even Tetchou I don't usually care much about is so !!!!! I love all the hd so much fr!!!!!!!!!!#I love love love Jouno. Like much like it is for Akutagawa I'm very weak for characters that aren't really good people.#But they're still trying to be a better person than they were. And oftentimes they end up doing a terrible job!!#But the fact alone that they're //trying// has me ougheueueueu. Here in this episode you can see Jouno–#sliping very easily in his cruel / sadistic habits. But he is trying to be a person that cares for others! He made good actions in the past#and he will again in the future even though right now he's acting like this! Because improvement isn't linear! I love him tonsss#And DON'T get me started on the ada. Yosano's “Welcome” scene. I love women. I love women. Yosano please one chance#KENJI'S SCENE God I needed this. How could I forget the way this literllyyyyy rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time.#That scene is so deep and poignant and so so meaningful I. Oughhh#I am going to run out of tags am I not#Kyouka saving Atsushi!!!!!!! That scene is one of my all time favourites. It makes me soft to remember when the s4 trailer dropped–#I was so overjoyed for that bit of them holding hands :') Rightfully so!!! It's so cute.#Her coming back to save Atsushi. The “don't worry– I didn't kill them” direct towards Atsushi–#that is so so Akutagawa and it sends me insane hhhhhhgggggggggg#Kunikida!!!!! His “I'm not leaving anyone behind”!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not precisely Kunikida's first fan but aaaaaahhh he makes me feel–#so much for him in this scene!!!!! Mmmhhh one last note would be. It bugs me a little how the ada is defined terrorist by the military–#forces starting this episode? I don't have space to elaborate properly but. An action to be considered terrorism must have clear political–#orientation and goal. Violence alone isn't enought to be defined terrorism. It's an incorrect use of the word#Up to the next episode!!! Can't wait to see more Atsushi 🥰🥰#random rambles#It's late now and probably most are asleep rn... Then I'll be queing my posts for tomorrow probably
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brb crying to the vampire!eddie playlist i made months ago ✌️
#something about cyndi lauper's music specifically has been getting me really emotional recently 😭#shut up bug
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/obey me! vent/
#jessamine rambles#before i start. pls keep in mind that this is fully subjective and could just be a 'me' problem. i just want to get this off my chest#ngl i've been contemplating on whether i want to stop playing obey me. both the og game and nightbringer#idk i've been playing the game since its first month and while it's given me a lot of joy + memories + chances to befriend other ppl. i'm#pretty burned out. not to mention TIRED of my consistent disappointment with the game#the main story.....where do i start?? i actually enjoyed s1-s3 despite my qualms with the fillers and pacing but s4 disappointed me. i was#rlly looking forward to simeon's storyline and the new characters but ultimately. the devs tried to squeeze too many things into one season#not to mention that there is a notable difference in how the characters are written. i.e. beel's hunger and asmo's beauty#being watered down to running gags instead of the complexities explored in the old dg stories and chara songs#gameplay-wise. i was there when the devs raised the rewards price of the event urs and removed the demon ssrs completely#but nightbringer was the last straw for me. the amount of time it takes to grind for two games. knowing that the og app has essentially bee#abandoned by the devs?? not to mention that while the plot is interesting. i haven't touched the main story ever since the coma arc#i will give credit to the devs for improving the event stories by choosing to focus on 1-2 demons. but it has always felt like a quantity >#quality situation. esp if i were to compare it to my other fandoms#it also doesn't help that i'm currently at a point of my life where i'm questioning if i could use my time on obm for better things#seeing how the game is giving me less reasons to believe it is worth my time#idk this may also be a short-term phase since i DID get back into twst after a long hiatus and i recently got into whb#which btw has felt like a breath of fresh air despite my frustrations with the bugs and current gacha#but yeahhhh........as much as i love the obm characters and fanfics. i'm just tired#at this point i feel like the only reason why i still play the game is due to the nostalgia and so i don't waste the years of grinding#aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#this is what i get for being the type of player who only plays a few games so they can rlly dedicate their time and passion to it#that's all
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#no one ever touches me#and it bugs me a little#my friend who insists over and over he is very touchy and thats how he engages with the people he likes#does no touch me#no hand on the shoulder#no bumping into me without apology#no poking#or interacting#I think about how I have not had a partner in person in years. not since. 7th grade. 6 year ago.#and and thats not to . degrade on my relationship at all i love my partner#but i just#sometimes it worms its way under my skin that no one has actively chossen to hold me in a long time#that no one touches me at all#it feels sometimes like there is this horrible horrible plague within me and theyre afraid they will contract#that they simply must keep a distance#I think about the fact that in a group of friends. they made a fat joke at me#and i brushed it off and we all laughed and i know i know i know and im sorry im sorry i look like this#im sorry#and im trying#i eat less#i do#Ive been watching every calorie#Ive started throwing up recently#some of its involentary ive been like reacting to grease but some of it is less so#i think too long about how my body looks. about how many people around me refuse to touch me#and it jsut. leaves#im carefull#Im so so careful#I track every calorie like its bible study#I try so hard to make myself into something that people will want to touch
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