#but then ends up loving him bc he literally chose life and love and happiness over a past he no longer identifies with | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maskedcrawford · 23 days ago

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Heartbreaker

Choi Seunghyun x F! Reader

Warnings: Just a few curse words. Angst, but it ends happy.

A/N: I really hope you enjoy this, bc it was a blast to write. Please leave a like or a comment if you want to see more! If you enjoy please consider buying me a coffee

Request are currently: OPEN

You stared into his dark, solemn eyes. The time had finally come where the two of you were at a place of no return. This was the end, he was walking on you, on your relationship and your future together.

“Please,” you whisper as he cups your face.

“Don’t- don’t do this,” you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes.”

“It’s for the best,” he croaks with a low voice, “It’s for your best interest,”

“No, Seung, it’s not,” you shout defiantly.

“You don’t get to decide that!” your tears are now spilling onto your cheeks and you don’t dare wipe them away. He kisses your forehead for the last time.

“Baby I know you don’t see it now,”

“You’re damn right I don’t,” you grab on to his wrist as if holding it will anchor him to you. You feel a literal ache in your chest. He crashes his lips to yours, the kiss slow and deep, like he’s savoring the way you taste. You feel something wet on your face and realize he’s now the one crying.

The two of you hadn’t been unhappy, actually it was quite the opposite. You thought things were going great, even swore tonight would be the night he proposed to you, but instead he chose to break your heart. For the life of you, you couldn’t understand why he was doing this. Why he was throwing your relationship away.

He pulls away from you and you grab on to his collar as he rests his forehead against yours.

“I have to go,” he whispers after a minute. All you can do is sigh.

“You won’t even tell me why,” your voice cracks but you don’t care. It’s not a question, more like a statement. Does he think so little of you?

“I need you to trust me,” he says as he slowly tears himself away from you. You can’t help but scoff as you look at him like a stranger.

“Don’t give me that look,” he mutters as he glances at the floor.

“Why shouldn’t I? This isn’t you, or at least, not the you that I know. This isn’t the man I fell in love with. He wouldn’t leave knowing how bad this hurts me,” you break down again clutching your own body for comfort as you drop your head. You hear footsteps and think he’s going to hold you, but instead he stops right beside you.

“I love you, y/n, but this is what’s best,” he says solemnly. You don’t look at him, rather you keep your eyes shut and hold onto yourself. You hear the door shut behind him and you let out a gut-wrenching scream as you fall to the floor.

Right outside the door he hears it. He wants nothing more than to rush in and pick you up and tell you he’s sorry. He wants to love you the way he knows you need it, the way he knows he can, but he’s convinced himself he isn’t enough for you anymore. He’s convinced himself that, wrapped up in scandal, you’d be better off without him.

Afterall two idols being together in this business is tricky enough. The tabloids and some crazy fans. You being an international popstar dating a Korean idol, only added more fuel to the flame. While most of the media was happy for you, obviously some fans on both sides weren’t. Most would say he was bad for you, because of the things he’d done in his past. Redemption obviously not being an option for him in their eyes. They didn’t seem to think he could change.

He peeled himself away from the door and left you there, getting into his car his own emotions finally taking over. He cried, screamed, and his heart ached much like yours did. For a brief moment he considered that something that felt so wrong couldn’t be right, but others had an unbiased view, right? They could see thing he couldn’t, right?

For the next few days, you stayed home, barely leaving the bedroom you would often share with him. While you hadn’t officially moved in together, but there were very few nights you ever spent alone. Sleeping was one of the hardest parts, you had gotten so used to him being there, feeling the warmth of his body next to yours, feeling his sweet gentle kisses to wake you up in the morning. Now it was gone, cold, and unfamiliar. The room wasn’t as bright as it used it.

Your friends called, texted, even tried coming over, but nothing worked. After about a week your manger finally told you that if you didn’t get your butt in the studio your career would suffer that, “You shouldn’t let some boy tank your career.” She wasn’t very understanding to say the least.

You trudged up to the studio in Seoul, sighing as you stepped into the booth.

“Hand in hand we go

Loving life, seeing the view of the golden streets,” you tried to sing the lyrics as best you could but it ultimately made you sick.

“I can’t do this,” you say before taking off the headphones. If you were going to record, it had to be something heart wrenching. You had to vent your feelings. You grab a pen and paper once you come out and sit down on the couch. Your best friend comes up beside you.

“What’s going on, doll face?” she was always cheeky with her little nicknames.

“I gotta write something else, I can’t do that” you say motioning to the table with the recording equipment, “today.” She gives you an understanding look.

“Let’s write a breakup song, then.” She gives you a supportive smile. After a couple hours of writing, erasing and rewriting lyrics, you finally had a rough draft of the song.

“You say it’s best if you leave

But here I am with my heart on my sleeve

Beggin you not go

Say you’ll stay

Even if it’s just until I’m asleep.” You see a grin from your best friend, who’s producing the song, and she shoots you a thumbs up.

“Y/n, it’ll be a hit!” she beams and you give her a sad smile. She puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Honey, I know it’s hard. I’m so sorry.” She gives you a quick hug before you tell her goodbye. Leaving the studio you barely look up and see the members of Big Bang walking in the door. Ji-yong, Taeyang, Daesung, and they each look at you with sad eyes before you see him walk in. Your breath hitches in your throat and you both make eye contact. You don’t smile, neither does he. You stand there frozen for a minute. From a distance his eyes look a red and puffy, and you know yours do too. After a moment of no one moving you get the courage up to walk past them and past him as if he was anyone else.

Seunghyun moves his hand out to grasp your arm, wanting to explain it all to you, to tell you how bad he misses you, to wrap you in his long arms and hold you so close you’d both be in trouble of suffocating, but he keeps his hands at his sides and lets you walk out the door.

The boys walk into the studio and begin working on their song. They were also releasing a breakup song. He wrote it about the two of you and basically told the guys if they couldn’t do the song, he wouldn’t perform anymore. The guys had seen the last week without you, barely eating or moving. Motivating him to get into the studio today was the hardest thing they’d ever done.

“Hyung,” Ji-yong said.

“Hmm,” Seung hummed as he sat down beside his best friend.

“Just call her, tell her what’s going on with you.”

“She doesn’t need that,” boy was he wrong. That’s all you needed. Was to hear his voice, hear how bad he missed you, hear how the world didn’t turn quite right without you in his life.

“Seunghyun,” Taeyang gently puts his hand on his buddy’s shoulder as he sits on the opposite side of the couch.

“She didn’t look good,” he says gently. He won’t look at either of them.

“I’m doing this for her,” he snaps with anger.

“I’m no good for her or her career,” his voice is thick with venom, not at you or his friends, but at himself.

“You really think those people are right? Man, people have known for the last 9 months that you’ve been together, and you’d really been together almost 2 years. Nothing happened.” Daesung tries to reason with the oldest of the group. But Seunghyun won’t hear it.

“She got more hate, and less ratings and it took a toll on her, I could see it. She lost out on deals with brands and even performances for shows.” He rubs his hands over his face.

“I watched it all, trying to convince myself it didn’t matter, trying to convince myself she needed me and that I wasn’t hindering her. But I just couldn’t do it anymore.” The guys look between themselves without saying a word, but they all knew, this was bad.

A few months pass by and you slowly fall into a routine without him. It still hurts, and anytime you see him on tv or on social media you feel that sting in your chest. But you couldn’t bring yourself to unfollow him on anything. You still loved him and wanted to support him, even though it broke your heart at the same time. He never unfollowed you, instead he was actually quite active. He would like your posts, comment even. But you noticed when he did, people weren’t so nice.

You noticed more of the hateful comments once you had gone public with your relationship, but it never bothered you. Did you loose out on some stuff? Sure, but that was because you chose to, not because of him. There were multiple brands who wanted you to be a spokesman but you didn’t support what they stood for or genuinely didn’t care for the product, so you rejected them. You chose not to do certain award shows or talk shows because you wanted to prioritize rest this year, you’d been going nonstop the past 3 and it was time to slow down some. After all you had enough of a career that taking a step back wouldn’t affect you too much. You still got offers and calls about multiple media performances and deals, you just simply chose not to.

After a while seeing the unpleasant comments to your now ex you decided to turn the comments off on social media. You couldn’t stand to see them be so mean to him. He didn’t do anything wrong and the best way you thought you could defend him was to stop letting him or anyone else comment.

Seunghyun took that as you didn’t want to hear from him. He seen your latest post talking about the outfits you were considering for the Circle Chart Music Awards. He smiled as he seen you look so beautiful in your sparkly outfits. He went to comment but realized they had been turned off. He frowned to himself and decided he needed to call the guys. They each came over and brought food, after all the boy’s still healing and food always helps.

“Ok, just because the comments are off doesn’t mean it bothered her you were commenting.” Daesung spoke up.

“Yeah, I mean, did she like your comments or say anything?” Ji-yong asks.

“Well, I, uh, yeah. She liked them.” He takes a swig of his wine and shows his friends his phone.

“Then I don’t think it was about you,” Taeyang offers before taking a bite of his sushi. Seunghyun sighs and he takes another bite.

“I still miss her,” he murmurs.

“Wait, you said she’s going to the Circle Chart Awards?” Jiyong’s voice is thick with a “I have a plan and you may not like it,” kind of tone.

“Yeah,”

“Ok, we’re,” he gestures to the 4 of them with his hand going int a circle, “going to the Circle Chart Music Awards.” He looks at Seunghyun with a “do you get what I’m saying,” look. Seunghyun just looks at him as if he’s lost his mind.

“This would be your chance, hyung.” Taeyang explains.

“Exactly!” Ji-yong states matter of factly. Seunghyun’s face looks unsure.

“I don’t know,” he looks at his plate and pushes his food around.

“Look the song will be released and we’ll perform it.” Daesung said. Seunghyun sighs with defeat.

The day of the CCMA’s is finally here. It also happens to mark the one-year anniversary of your breakup with Seunghyun. The place is buzzing with activity as you can’t help but wish he was there with you celebrating the moment. You were up for best new song this year. You had signed with a Korean label the year before and chose to stick with it and now you’re nominated for best new song! Ironically, for the breakup song you released a few months back called “Home”.

As you rush around back stage you accidentally bump into someone.

“Oh, my goodness I’m sorry,” you freeze. It’s Ji-yong. He smiles wide at you and instantly wraps his arms around your frame.

“How are you, yeodongsaeng?” he questions cheerfully. You give him a smile.

“Fine, Oppa how are you?” you giggle genuinely at the sweet name you hadn’t heard in a while.

“Excited, nervous but excited. I can’t wait to see you perform. I know Seunghyun can’t wait either,” he wiggles his brows and you purse your lips.

“Thank you, that’s, uh, very kind of you.” You pause for a moment before speaking again, “I uh, I should go. But good luck with your performance!” You turn to leave but he grabs your arm gently.

“He really isn’t doing well,” Ji-yong confesses quietly.

“He’s a wreck, honestly,” he rubs the back of his neck. He was told not to tell you anything if he did run into you, but Ji-yong was only trying to help. Your heart hurt for him, despite how much he broke it.

“Ji, he left me.” You say barely above a whisper.

“I know, but I just thought you should know,” he gives you a sad smile and begins to walk off. For a brief moment your feet try to drag you to follow in his direction, but before you can move your manager drags you the opposite way.

“The show is starting, get to your seat,” You sigh as you let her pull you away. The show goes wonderfully, multiple awards are given out, many performances are being done by countless stars and idols. Then the time comes.

“Please Welcome to the stage, Y/N!” You take a deep breath as the lights go down low and the music starts. The emotions well up in your chest and you force yourself to use them. You’re determined to make this performance one of the best. You walk down the steps gingerly with your dancers behind you, moving to the music like you had for the millionth time. You get to the edge of the stage and then it happens. You see him standing there, nodding along, a smile on his face like he’s the proudest he’s ever been of you. Seunghyun notices you’ve made eye contact and gives you an awkward shy smile. You continue through the song and dance ending with the line,

“Oh, baby, won’t you come to me.” As you stare directly at him in your final pose. His eyes grow wide just for a moment before returning to his proud demeanor. He shouts for you, he’s still your biggest fan. You exit the stage, gasping for air as the anxiety from the moment catches up with you. There’s a brief pause in the show, probably for a commercial break.

“That was the best one yet!” Your manager said ignoring the obvious signs of anxiety. You clutch your chest heaving as you take a sip of water.

“You seen him, didn’t you?” your best friend asks. All you can do is nod. Out of the corner of your eye you see him again, walking with his bandmates. He notices you and, even though he still needs to get ready he breaks away from the stylists and his band members and rushes over to you. He bends down right in front of where you’re sitting on the floor. You can’t do anything but stare at him. He doesn’t say a word, even after all this time he really doesn’t need to. You knew exactly what he was doing.

You took in his image, the neatly fixed hair, tanned looking skin, big dark eyes that you’d loved to get lost in. The concern in them and on his face. He genuinely was worried about you. Once you regained you composure he stood up and hesitantly walked away.

“Are you kidding me?” you shout at him, a sudden rage filling your bones. He stops dead in his tracks as everyone around you puts their eyes on you, you couldn’t care less though. He doesn’t turn to face you, if he did, he didn’t know what he’d do. Wrap you in arms so tight he’d never let you go, kiss you like no one was watching, hold you and walk out of the whole show like you were the only thing in this world that mattered. So he kept his back to you.

“You won’t even say anything,” your voice is weak and it cracks that he won’t face you, face the heartache. He walks back to where he was when he first saw you without a second glance. You bring your bottom lip in between your teeth as you choke back tears.

You dash off to your dressing room, not caring who saw you at this point. You broke down into a pool of tears as the door slammed behind you. It’s been a year, why did this still hurt so much?

Back in the Big Bang dressing room the guys were getting ready to perform. It was silent, no one really sure how to continue a conversation after the display that just occurred.

“You have to make sure she hears the song,” Ji-yong says to your best friend. She knew better than to try and console you right now. You were overwhelmed and having anyone else there would make it worse, so she did the only think she could think of, go to the guys.

“I’ll do my best but she’s really really upset,” Seunghyun stole a glance her way.

“You should try to talk to her,” she offered. Seunghyun was deep in thought.

“After the song,” was all he could manage to say. Your friend ran her hand through her hair out of stress as she sighed.

“Listen, I don’t know what’s goin to happen,” she started as she walked over to your ex’s chair.

“But just know you fucking broke her heart and it’s real shitty of you to sit here and not even speak to her but act like you care,” she was trying to be nice but her tone betrayed her. She didn’t want to hurt him or make him more hesitant to talk to you, but she was sick of you being upset and feeling like you’d gotten over him only to realize you hadn’t.

“If you want to be with her, be with her, screw what anyone else has to say. But if you’re goin to let them,” she puts up air quotes nodding to the fans and media, “decide what’s best for you two, just stay away from her. Let her heal, let her be. Because she can’t keep doing this.” Her tone was harsh but her eyes pleading. Pleading for him to make up his mind, one way or the other. She walks out to try and convince you to come out. Seunghyun decides he knows what he wants, and he's done letting others dictate his actions.

You gently open the door, make up smeared and eyes red.

“You wanna come out now? Maybe go see if you win the award?” You sigh and shrug your shoulders. You fix your makeup and walk back out to your seat.

The announcer comes back out to the stage with the mic to her lips, “Please welcome, Big Bang,” she shouts and the crowd erupts! You take a deep breath as you clap for them.

“This is a newer song called, Flower Road,” your breath catches in your chest. You heard the song when it was released. It was definitely a banger, sad, but still a banger. Throughout the whole performance T.O.P. couldn’t take his eyes off you. During his verse he walks down the steps of the stage and stands in front of you. The spotlight hitting both of you as he raps. He takes your hand in his and holds it like he’s afraid to let you go. Once he finishes the spotlight moves else-where, but he stays put for a moment, studying you. Your hand is limp in his as you can’t believe he was that bold, but at the same time, you could. He wasn’t always vulnerable in front a lot of people, but when he was it meant something.

After the performance the guys run off stage and your category is next.

“And the winner for best new song is,” the drum roll is in effect and hold your breath.

“Home by Y/N,” your name echos through the arena as you freeze.

“GO!” your friend shouts at you and you make you way up to the stage.

“Oh, wow I um, wow.” You giggle into the mic after bowing and receiving the award.

“I um, I want to thank my label for believing in this song, I wanna think my friends who have supported me, and,” you pause as you glance at the award.

“I’d like to thank the man that inspired it. Because now I have one of these,” you giggle. You catch his eye again in the crowd with a sad but also proud smile.

“Thank you so much to the fans for listening and sticking by me. This year has been, insane. But your support has meant the world to me. I love you all, thank you!” With that you walk off the stage and go back to the dressing room. Your staff try to enter with you but you tell them you need a minute. You stare in the mirror at your self and you take a moment to process the events of the night. In the silence of the moment you hear a knock.

“Guys just, give me a minute,” you call out to them.

“I don’t need long,” you hear that familiar deep smooth as butter voice. The one that you used to melt for. The one you still melt for. You glance at him from the mirror as he peaks inside. You draw your bottom lip in between your teeth again.

“I don’t have a lot of time, there’s an after party,” you say trying to dismiss him but he walks in anyway.

“I’ll talk while you change then,”

“Seung,” you try to stop him.

“God, I’ve missed the way you say my name,” he groans. You’re slightly taken aback by his words.

“You stand in the middle of the room as he walks up to you, the close proximity making your heart beat quicker and quicker.

“What do you want?” you can’t bring your self to look at him, rather you look to the side of him.

“Another chance,” he whispers as he takes your chin in between his index finger and thumb.

“I-I,” is all you can say.

“I know its asking a lot,” he admits.

“I really thought I was doing the right thing, baby, I-I thought you were better off without me. Like I was dragging you down, causing your career to fail. You were doing less and less after we went public and I felt like it was all my fault. I thought I did the best I could for you in the long term, but I have to be honest, this has been hell,” a few tears fall from his eyes as he explains himself.

“You fucking broke me,” your voice is weak. You didn’t want to admit it but it was hard.

“Agi,” his voice comes out as a whisper again as he takes in the look on your face. A look of defeat, anger, hurt, desperation.

“I’m so sorry,”

“You know you weren’t the reason I was doing less, right?” You place a hand on his cheek as you search his eyes, they just look defeated.

“I was slowing down, Oppa, it wasn’t because of you, I was telling people no for the first time in my career and it was invigorating, liberating even.” His flash with a kind of relief like he’d been holding a deep dark secret.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I honestly didn’t know it affected you.” You stand there, the silence in the room thick. You glance as his lips and before you can process what’s happening, they come into contact yours, slow and deep, nothing about the kiss is rushed and you can’t help but let yourself melt into his touch. His arms snake around your waist as yours instinctively go around his neck. You hear him groan into the kiss as you start playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. The way the two of you fit together against one another is perfect. Nothing is out of place and nothing is out of sync.

“I’m sorry,” he says against your lips, but you don’t let him break away.

“I know,” you mumble as you try to pull him impossibly closer. The only reason you part is because you need air. You rest your foreheads together both of you chests heaving.

“God I miss you,” he whispers as he pulls you into him and rests hid head on top of yours.

“I’ve missed you too,” you say as you shut your eyes clinging to him. You could stay like that forever. And if the world would allow, you would, but as fate would have it, the door busts open the two of you look at it without separating.

“WE WON ALBUM OF THE YEAR!” Ji-yong shouts. You laugh at his excitement. The guys take in your embrace and smiles and then start shouting for another reason.

“Finally!” Taeyang says as he comes over to the both of you.

“It’s about time you love birds got back together!” You can’t help but let out another giggle as look up at the man you love.

“Congratulations, guys! You really earned it.” They each return a thank you and you look up at your boyfriend again.

“Congratulations, Oppa,” you stand on your tip toes to give him a sweet kiss.

“Thank you, but I won the minute I got you back,” he smiles and returns your kiss passionately.

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violent-viscera · 4 months ago

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my true (respectful) thoughts of arcane s2

so much of the promotional material promised so much in the way of vi and jinx/powder and their sisterly relationship, but i feel like with the amount of storylines/plotlines they did in this season, it was just too busy to focus on anyone–let alone the two supposed protagonists of the show. i think the best way for me to articulate how i feel about the writing of this show is that it fell flat, lost its heart, and emotional impact of the first season.

i would have been okay with them straying from my personal favourite focus if:

the storylines had been fleshed out better

the decisions the characters made actually made sense

main characters didn't become plot devices (vi)

new additions of the show weren't just plot devices (isha, loris, maddie, etc.)

motivations of characters made sense

characters had even small lines/dialogue to articulate their intentions/ideas

less time spent on off-screen development

and the thing is with the amount of plot lines they were ambitiously aiming to see out to fruition, its really hard to also set up all these new facets or opposing characteristics in former characters–plus adding new ones too. for example:

caitlyn's facist arc that didn't really have much meaning or attention

jinx's s1 mental collapse which changed abruptly into her redemption arc via isha (plot device)

jinx's revolutionist arc (first, reluctantly and then, willingly w ekko)

vi's pitfighter/brawler arc which was literally just one clip (which ended up being a teaser that showed everything)

im almost grateful to the minimal screen time ekko got bc they didn't try to change the core and essence of who he was in s1: he stayed true to himself. he's just a boy with a huge heart and love for his people that chose to leave his happy ending in an alternate timeline to return to the ppl who needed him where he is almost guaranteed heartbreak in some way or another.

i think the main reason so many ppl loved the first season was bc the characters were relatable in one way or another and they became so multidimensional when you explored how their environment/circumstances shaped them. but this season bc it was so purely focused on the endgame instead of HOW everyone got there, the characters fell flatter, they lost a soul and heart, and i felt the show lost its charm.

i know we all have our favourite characters and storylines we want the show to focus on and i would have been okay if i didn't get my way. if the show didn't focus on jinx and vi, i would've lived (although the promotional material was unfairly misleading) if the storylines, characters, and everything else made sense to me.

of course, the animation was lovely and the music was catchy/heartbreaking. i dont regret watching the show out to its final episode. it was one of the most beautiful visual experiences of my entire life. i still love the characters and will never regret staying on board until the final moments.

but i cant lie and say im not a little sad at how it ended too.

edited add-on:

also, the voice actors did phenomenally. ella purnell just absolutely nails the delivery for every line and reed shannon also hurt me with how he portrayed ekko. so on and so forth.

but that being said, i also felt the dialogue and lines of each character felt much less impactful this season (again, writing.)

i liked viktor’s monologue at the end of act 2. that was compellingly well written

but the lines this season weren’t the same quality as silco’s monologue about drowning, jinx’s speech at the beginning of the doomed tea party, etc. everything just felt so flat and shallow this season overall.

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bluiela · 2 months ago

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"Why was Gwyn even in the BC if SJM wasn't intending to make her Azriel's endgame??"

Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why was Azriel wanting to get on his knees for a taste of Elain and pulling her hair back to kiss her if SJM intended on ENDING them in a BC?

It's not like they had any of those types of scenes anywhere else in the book. But yeah ... sure... SJM chose to end Elriel in a BC by writing the hottest, most anticipated almost kiss scene in the entire series ..... instead of you know.... not mentioning them at all....

The "hottest" (please get some good book recs) e/riel scene SJM put that may have given you the indication that e/riel is endgame:

If this is what you consider "hottest" then I mean.. I hope you read other books than ACOTAR.

SJM made Elain reject Az, she wrote Az not planning for Elain beyond sexual Fantasies when Cassian was planning for Nesta for the Next life because this one was ending, she made Rowan plan for Aelin even though the major chances of her living was literally in negative, made Rhys plan for Feyre even though she loved another and he had no plan to pursue her if she was happy and so on.

She wrote this and wrote another character who calmed and settled not only him but his shadows. She wrote Clear Contrast b/w Gwyn and Elain's interactions how the shadows dance to her but vanish from Elain, how he plans for a snowball fight for a year but had 0 problem not planning for Elain.

How he NOT ONCE yearns to kiss her again. Thinks how he CAN'T stay away from her BUT has to. He has 0 issues from satying away from her.

Maas ended the chapter with Gwyn buried deep in his heart, of him smiling unconsciously thinking of her smile and eyes. Of her making him tell us that he sings. Of the same language she used for other mates.

If you read other SJM books and you see the same language used for other mates also being put here, you think to yourself hmmm....why the same wording...why the banter and highlighted interactions in the book..why after the BC there is 0 interactions for e/riel but in the actual book Maas not only made him her ribbon with her making Gwyn challenge him and amuse him.. why give them past..why make them equals.. why connect Gwyn to the plot and set her up again and again.. and a million other stuff but I'll make it short.

If you for once remove the self-insert biased glasses, you'll see the obvious set up.

#pro gwynriel #antielriel #azriel spymaster #elucien #sjmaas #gwyn berdara #acotar #gwynriel #pro gwyn #gwyn x azriel #pro elucien #elucien supremacy #pro lucien vanserra #pro elain archeron

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hanafubukki · 11 months ago

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hanahanahanahanaaaaa

ive just read a post on how silver & KoD's resemblance was intentional; not simply bc they're related but BC IT WAS AN ANTITHESIS OF HOW SILVER COULD BE HAD HE NOT RAISED BY LILIA and hv this 'freedom' of choosing his own morality n lemme tell u i am. sobbing rn.

this post specifically

https://www.tumblr.com/nymphilily/747408170476011520/the-knight-of-dawn-being-a-near-exact-copy-of?source=share

sorry for dragging u into ths i just wanna share.. ths dadson never cease to wreck me in ways ive never expected smh THEY'RE JUST SO. SO.

UEUEUEUEUEUEEEEEEE

Hello Miè 💚🌺🌷

Never be sorry for this Miè, I love talking about Diasomnia characters and the Knight of Dawn. In fact, I’m ecstatic you brought this up to me 🥹☺️💞💞💚💚 I can now fangirl and cry with you 🫶🫶

Ahhh the link doesn’t work for me 😭💔 it might have been recently deleted?

BUT YES!! I fully believe that the Knight of Dawn’s appearance and Silver’s was fully intentional. This will irrevocably confirm their ties as father and son. No one can escape it, not even Silver.

Additionally, in the Sleeping Beauty animation. Aurora was basically a copy of her mom. So that could also be a homage to that as well. 🥹🌷

On that topic, it makes me so sad to see all those parents and their children posts on twitter and on here, but rarely do we see the Knight of Dawn and Silver together. But thankfully, I did see some on JP side of twitter having them together 🙏

Because as much as Lilia is the father to Malleus and Silver, so is Meleanor to Malleus and Knight of Dawn to Silver. But I’ll end that rambling here 😖

Back to your point about Silver being the antithesis of Knight of Dawn, and this is where the tissues are truly needed, it shows how much love and environment can influence someone doesn’t it?

Both Dawn and Silver were adopted by someone they care for, but their situation differs.

Dawn was adopted and cared for by his father figure (whom we haven’t met but we know is sick) and this is used as a weapon against him by Henrik. Shouldn’t you be grateful? Shouldn’t you help get the Princess Glow? Don’t you care for your father figure and Princess Leia?

His feelings was constantly used against him. He wasn’t treated as a person but a weapon by those around him. He had no choice in the matter and it was because of this that the Knight of Dawn had to take actions he was clearly against.

Now Silver was raised by Lilia, Malleus, and the Zigvolts. He was raised in an environment where he was truly loved. Silver chose to be a knight who will protect Malleus and Lilia. He wasn’t forced or guilt tripped into it by anyone. He always wanted to do this and he trained for it. 🥹💞

And because of this and because of how well he knows Malleus and Lilia, he was able to stand up against OB Malleus.

He knows Lilia wouldn’t want to be forced to stay, especially if others will be hurt. He knows Malleus is doing this to make everyone happy but it will cost him his life, which no one wants. Not Silver who Malleus did this for, not Lilia who Malleus and Silver doesn’t want to loose, and not Sebek who cares about them and see all the love they have for each other. 💚💚

So Silver is able to make this stand because he had this loving nature and freedom, he’s able to fight back because of it, and he’s willing to stand up for it.

But for the Knight of Dawn? He wasn’t in this nourishing nature. He has his feelings used against him and Henrik was always on him, not only that but he had his comrades who he had to protect. He literally had his hands tied 😔

That’s why the blessing used on Silver is such a big deal, why it’s a show of great love from his parents to Silver.

So Silver would never have to go through what the Knight of Dawn has, so he can live life happily in a world of peace and harmony where all races get along.

Silver doesn’t have to have the heartbreak of what Dawn went through. He can be raised in an loving environment that every child deserves.

We have only known the Knight of Dawn for two chapters so far and the parallels/differences he has with Lilia, Silver, and Malleus is chef kiss and makes me feral. 🫶💚

As you can see, I can talk about these characters forever 💞💞💚💚 Thank you again Miè 🌺🌷

#🌺Miè🌺#answered #I always love it when I get all the ‘Hana’s’ in my asks 💞💞💞#twst knight of dawn #twst silver #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #twst analysis #twst character analysis #twst book 7 #diasomnia #twst chapter 7 #silver vanrouge

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goyurim · 10 months ago

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I agree that sol has loved him and tried to save him selflessly but so has he to the same extent? He loved her in two time lines and will in this third one as well for 15 years selflessly without knowing at all that she has feelings for him, he also saved her life multiple times risking his and is ready to do it again paying the price with his life. The reason she has to go back and save him is literally because he saved her spent 15 years miserable because of guilt he couldn't save her legs and then got murdered for it. No to mention the other thousand things small and big he did for her safety and care in all 3 timelines. I don't think I have seen a character love someone so selflessly or devotedly as sun jae so I have to disagree with you there.

you're very welcome to disagree with me! we don't have to agree on everything anon, that's the beauty of it, as @sunlighthroughthe-ashes so eloquently put it, "the beauty of art and entertainment media is the subjectivity of its interpretation. one little show can mean so many different things to so many different people, and i think that's wonderful."

i think you've misunderstood me slightly though so i'd like to address that - you seem to interpret my statement about sunjae liking sol selfishly as some sort of bad thing - as if being selfish in love is wrong and cannot coexist with being selfless, too. you're absolutely right about sun jae being selfless in the way he loves sol, in everything he's done for her. but he's also been selfish in his devotion to her too, he wanted her to love him back, he wanted to be someone special to her. he gets mad at her in the woods during the retreat when she's been avoiding him like the plague, and even back when she bought him all those self-help books, he shuns her away out of his house by saying "you can't give me what i want so just go". does that make sun jae a bad person? of course not! when you love someone you want them to acknowledge it, that's perfectly valid and true. doesn't make it any less selfish. sun jae choses to be selfish, that's why he ends up with sol, and tae sung does not. tae sung's love, in my eyes, is truly selfless. the kinda love that wants their object of affection to be safe and happy, even if that means they themselves will never be on the receiving end of the same.

to me, the whole "i like you" "i love you" scene was a direct continuation of the scene where sun jae misses his flight and returns to sol after finding everything out. he literally asks her to stop worrying about him and allow herself to like him. sol doesn't respond, she's too overwhelmed with everything that's just happened. the "i like you", this time around, was her response. she tells sun jae that she's listened to him. that she's allowing herself to unabashedly like him. his response being "i love you" encapsulates everything he told her back then, but also somehow something more. when you love someone so much, the lines between selflessness and selfishness begin to blur, bc it's not about doing the right thing anymore, it's about doing right by this person. bc your compass of morality isn't a direction anymore, it's a person. sun jae's verbalising these thoughts to her, through his "i love you". these two have loved each other through time and space, over and over again, and their love has evolved over time. from a crush and a fan, silent and afar, to truly devoted, unapologetic love. but neither of them knew! what they've been doing for one another! all this time! the "role reversal" i was referring to might sound weird to the audience bc we know both their feelings from the start. but they don't! they never got to lay their hearts out so openly in front of one another. they're finally doing that now.

#come collect your anons sunlight. they're spilling over to me 😂#jk jk thanks for the ask anon! love discussing diverse opinions on love <3 #lovely runner #anon #sunlighthroughthe-ashes #💌

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taeraeszn · 2 years ago

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can i request zb1 as love languages? thank you so much!

ps i LoVE your writing.. thank you for making my day

zb1 as love languages

hi luv! thank you for requesting <3 tbh i thought this request was very cute when i first saw it and now that i have time to write it, i'm so excited!!!

also thank you for your kind words!! it makes me so happy to know that people love my writings!

warnings: food mentioned but no more from what i saw but pls lmk if there is any!

btw these are all just my thoughts PLS don't attack me if we don't have the same thoughts. these are just what i pulled out from my brain so i apologize if it's similar to what other writers have posted on here.

kim jiwoong - gifts

idk about you guys but i think jiwoong is DEF the guy who'll gift you so many things when you two are dating

like your just heading to a cafe and he's outside waiting with a bouquet in his hands

most of them you don't even ask for, he just offers you them but you can't decline them either since he'll ignore you and hand you them anyways

i also think that for very special occasions like anniversaries and such he'll think carefully of what to give to you then make it the biggest reveal ever

^like maybe a ring or necklace!!

like bro is going all out for you

with every gift he gives, their for a reason, and that's what makes you love him so much <3

yeah i just love jiwoong so much guys <3

rest of the members under the cut!

zhang hao - acts of service

NOBODY CAN DISAGREE WITH ME ON THIS

hao definitely loves giving acts of services that may seem small to others but are actually so thoughtful and considerate

say there's a day where you come home from a long day and the house is literally spotless bc hao offered to clean it, thinking you were mostly likely tired

and this could also be like him helping you with something so you're not struggling alone!!

he's just your little helper and you love it!!

not just that but he'll always talk to you when your feeling down and listen to whatever you have to say and try to make the situatio better

in general, having hao in your life helps everything become so much easier with his presence

and you're always thankful for everything he does <3

sung hanbin - words of affirmation

fun fact this one was the first one i thought of when i saw this request lol

LIKE IT JUST SUITS HIM

and seeing how he originally wanted to be a therapist really shows this

you can just tell he cares about what others have to say and he listens to them with full attention

and same goes for you!! i think everyday he'll remind you of how amazing you are and how much he loves you just because

sometimes he'll even send a text or two reminding you that he loves you deeply

and whenever you come home, he'll remind you that you did well and worked your hardest!!

idk im squealing writing this, ALSO HAPPY EARLY BDAY HANBIN!!!! <3

seok matthew - physical touch

i was pondering between this option and gifts but idk after seeing how affectionate matt is with some of the members i chose this one!

i think matthew just loves hugging you or holding your hand

like in public he will REFUSE to let go of your hand bc he doesn't want to lose you in the crowd

as well, i think matthew would also give you sweet kisses on the forehead and lips, reminding you once again of how much he loves you

idk maybe i'm thinking ahead on this because this is my love language lol

and whenever you two are sitting together he'll just casually rest his hand on your thigh to ensure that he's right there

and though he claims that he wants to be woohyun oppa, he's still your cute little matthew through his physical affection

in the end he's clingy and you love it!!

kim taerae - quality time

i chose this since a lot of the trainees on bp said that taerae would bring his guitar with him and just chill with the trainees

i think he'd also do the same with you!!

like his stay that was supposed to be only twenty minutes ends up becoming 2 hours since he keeps singing songs for you and just wanting to be by your side

and out of the blue he'll just message you and say that he wants to be with you

or he'll just sit on facetime with you for hours on end while studying and not say much, only because he wants you to be with him

you are his favourite person to be with and he will always show that through his quality of time

especially seeing how in the taerae he went to each member's room to see how their doing, idk man that just did things to me

best boy kim taerae

shen ricky - words of affirmation

i was torn between this and acts of service tbh but i think woa suits ricky so well

like hanbin, he'd always remind you of how much you mean to him as a partner and never make you second guess his feelings for you

he's quite literally the perfect boyfriend ever!!

as well, he'll also encourage you to do what you think is right whenever your talking with him and give you great advice for situations

not only that but i believe that ricky would remember small things you mentioned in the past and bring it up again to remind you of how much he actually listens to you

and at night he'd casually slide in a text or voice chat that tells you that he loves you forever and always <3

idk mane ricky is just literal perfection!!

kim gyuvin - physical touch

anyone who says no is lying to themselves

gyuvin LOVES affection especially seeing how he literally adores yujin by touching his face 24/7 and being close with his other members!!

and as your boyfriend, gyuvin would quite literally do the same to you

just always touching your face to kiss you gently

his arms always wrapped around you to keep you near him at all times along with a few sweet hugs

^also he never lets go of your hands

even when your sitting down he'll casually intertwine your fingers together

but you love it sm since it reminds you that gyuvin adores you dearly <3

park gunwook - acts of service

idk about you guys but this just makes total sense to me

as a class president in school, gunwook probably has lots of experience helping others

for you he'd always want to offer a helping hand

you text him that your bored at home and one second later he's at your door with food

or when your sick he takes time off of studying to take care of you despite you telling him that he doesn't have to

even small things such as you saying your thirsty leads to him running to the vending machine to grab you a drink

he goes out of his way to pretty much do everything for you

you always thank him for his help but he plays it off as what every partner should do <3

han yujin - gifts

originally i was thinking another one but after seeing him gift ricky those figurines with the box and matthew with the protein bars, i had to choose this

he genuinely thought out those gifts well which makes me :"")

for you, he'd consider everything he gives you carefully, thinking of what you've been wanting and telling him about

and for each birthday of yours, your always surprised at how thought out each gift is

and the times when you express wanting an item, he goes out to buy it for you right away, packing it nicely for you

i also think his gifts would have a cute note on it!!

he always prioritizes you and rejects your offers to buy him something

i know yujin is still very young so i think this suits him very well

#zb1 #zerobase1 #zerobaseone #zb1 fluff #zb1 scenarios #zb1 drabbles #zb1 reactions #zb1 x reader #zb1 as #park gunwook #kim jiwoong #zhang hao #sung hanbin #seok matthew #kim taerae #kim gyuvin #han yujin #shen ricky

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pinklayla123 · 2 months ago

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"I'm sorry but people acting all offended and disgusted about Az's inner monologue in the bonus chapter are so funny to me like ma'am, that dialogue made him 200000000000 times hotter to me. If I'm into a guy and I find out he's equally into me and the voice in his head is a gremlin telling him to make me feel good I would simply marry him. Rip to y'all but I want a man who needs me desperately."

canon: Azriel hadn't planned for Elain beyond sexual fantasies

Called her the third

Was insecure around her

Couldn't appreciate a single thing about her personality

Went against Elain's wishes of not being fought over as a child

Got calmed by another girl even his shadows

smiled unconsciously think about Gwyn's smile and bright eyes

appreciated Gwyn's charming personality and called herthing of secret lovely beauty

Elain returned the necklace when she couldn't return grayson's ring and still has Lucien's earrings

Azriel buried gwyn deep in his heart

Gwyn makes him smile, snort laugh in one half chapter which is more than 4 whole books

Gwyn is the one from whom SJM tells us that Az sings

SJM chose to end the chapter with Gwyn

Gwyn dismissed Az but he chose to stay and I can go on and I definitely agree Az's thoughts were absolutely gold in the BC.

First of all, hi, hello, how are you. I have no idea when this ask came in, so I'm sorry if it took me a while to respond. Been busy for the last couple months.

I see that you came across this post of mine. Doesn't look like the kind of content you seem to enjoy but such is life.

So I'm gonna respond to your points one by one.

Azriel hadn't planned for Elain beyond sexual fantasies

Yes, that is true. Because he is in a situation where practically anything could happen at any time, regarding the whole Briallyn-Beron-Koschei-Dread Trove from the literal storybooks thing. I think this is a simple case of not daring to hope for too much. (Also all the aforementioned sexual fantasies are ones where he is thinking about how she would feel, her pleasure is at the forefront of his mind. Not saying that he would get nothing at all from these encounters, but the man has his priorities straight)

Called her the third

I'm gonna hold your hand when I tell you this, but Elain is one of three sisters. If you're having a conversation where you mentions two of them as group, you will mention the third as.. well.. the third. He also (indirectly) called himself the third... as in one of three brothers

Was insecure around her

Anon you mean to tell me that it is a bad thing that this guy was nervous the first time he gets to make his move around the girl he has been developing feelings for over a year? Idk about you but I think that's sweet, that he cares enough about her opinion that he's nervous around her and wants her to like him.

Couldn't appreciate a single thing about her personality

We haven't had a lot of his pov so I can't speak to every thought he has ever had, But I would like to draw your attention to this scene, that occurs after Azriel opens a gift from Elain: Then Azriel tipped his head back and laughed. I’d never heard such a sound, deep and joyous. Cassian and Rhys joined him, the former grabbing the glass bottle from Azriel’s hand and examining it. “Brilliant,” Cassian said. Elain smiled again, ducking her head. Azriel mastered himself enough to say, “Thank you.” I’d never seen his hazel eyes so bright, the hues of green amid the brown and gray like veins of emerald. “This will be invaluable.”

So, again, can't speak to everything (yet), but he does seem to appreciate her sense of humor and the fact that she has been paying enough attention to him to realize he gets headaches.

He also spends time just sitting with her in the townhouse garden in acowar, so clearly he enjoys her presence.

To add to that, he practically pushed Feyre out of the way to get to Elain first to wish her Happy Solstice and stayed up late just talking to her so, again, he clearly enjoys and seeks out her company.

Went against Elain's wishes of not being fought over as a child

He is not "fighting over her," he is simply stating that he feels Elain deserves better than a guy who barely even wants to spend time with and instead is living with another woman on the other side of the world. He has never said anything about wanting a Blood Duel or anything

Got calmed by another girl even his shadows

He got calmed because this conversation, unlike the one he just had didn't involve his brother/friend/High Lord pulling rank and interrupting the kiss he has been dreaming of for months. It's like if I had a very difficult test and then got a cookie afterwards. The cookie itself is just a cookie, but it feels good because it's something that takes my mind off of the bad experience I just had. As for the shadows, they have acted protective multiple times in acosf when Elain's safety/wellbeing was involved.

smiled unconsciously think about Gwyn's smile and bright eyes

Breaking News: Local man feels good and smiles after doing something nice for the girl who he has been training/mentoring (but also there is an alternate hypothesis that I will not repeat here. other people have explained it better than me)

appreciated Gwyn's charming personality and called herthing of secret lovely beauty

Breaking News: Local man has a light-hearted, polite, friendly conversation with the girl he is mentoring/training. As for the calling Gwyn's smile "a thing of secret, lovely beauty" thing, isn't it interesting how this guy who is capable of waiting for a girl for 500 years completely switches gears in less than 24 hours? So fast? Almost.... suspiciously fast? (see alternate hypothesis)

Elain returned the necklace when she couldn't return grayson's ring and still has Lucien's earrings

She couldn't return Grayson's ring because she quite literally is ripped away from everything she has ever known in the dead of the night and that ring is her only remaining connection to who she used to be. I think it's understandable if it took her some time to let go of it. And if memory serves me it was gone in acofas. As for Lucien's earrings, we saw how she opens the box, looks at the earrings, and immediately puts them back and they are never mentioned again. Contrast this with how she immediately asks Azriel to put the necklace on her after he gives it to her. Yes she does give it back after she believes that Azriel has rejected her, and i think that shows growth on her part. Like you mentioned earlier, she kept Grayson's ring because of a false hope for a long time. i think now Elain is strong enough that she is refusing to let herself use the false hope as a crutch. She previously waited for a man who didn't want her, and she will not repeat her mistakes because as far as she knows Azriel made the choice of his own free will to leave her hanging.

Azriel buried gwyn deep in his heart

Again, happened very quickly and unexpectedly, at precisely the same time Gwyn was singing in the prayer service, similar to the singing that led Nesta to scry a vision of the Prison and the Harp. Lots of interesting things happening here.

Gwyn makes him smile, snort laugh in one half chapter which is more than 4 whole books

Breaking News: Local man laughs and jokes with girl he has been mentoring for months.

Azriel often laughs and jokes around his friends, especially in small groups. For one example, see the quote in purple above

Gwyn is the one from whom SJM tells us that Az sings

And she tells us via Nesta that he dances the waltz extremely well, via Bryce that he likes metal music, and via Feyre that he used to have trouble flying and enjoys inspirational stories. Guess he's getting a harem then since SJM using a character to reveal tidbits about another surely leads to a romantic relationship between the two. Maybe we should host a season of The Bachelor for Az.

SJM chose to end the chapter with Gwyn

With Gwyn and a long string of interesting events surrounding her. Make of that what you will.

Gwyn dismissed Az but he chose to stay and I can go on and I definitely agree Az's thoughts were absolutely gold in the BC.

Breaking News: Local man holds a conversation with the girl he has been training for months and asks her to demonstrate her form when he finds her practicing. In a shocking turn of events, he also gives her some pointers on her form.

The Bonus Chapter is a great read, I'm glad we can agree on something. All in all, answering this ask was an excellent refresher of the bonus chapter and why I love it so much. This was fun! And I hope you have a nice day anon :)

#ask #elriel

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baeshijima · 2 months ago

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so i just finished the tot celestial romance event story and !!

im sobbing i hate it here and i will be rambling about two specific side characters who had the most impact on me during the story: wangyu and baiya bc first of all:

WANGYU 😭😭

haha.....

honestly though his love and devotion for baiya... being her long-time subordinate only to be affected by the spirit breath like all the other demons and becoming their demon lord but his greed and desire, instead of being to attain godhood, he merely wanted her ;w;; but ofc baiya could never forsake her duties bc that is the very core meaning of her being and even despite knowing this, he still hoped she would accept and be with him the way he desired; them two together without their immortality and just as wangyu and baiya ;w;;;;

and throughout the dialogues afterwards we can tell baiya is affected by the whole thing as well and !! sobbing. like she is such an admirable and strong character, likely due to the goddess imbuing her with loyalty as a core element of her being and that mixed with her devotion to being a guardian god of the wilderness realm and prioritising that above everything else, including her own potential life/happiness with wangyu esp when she imbued the wine with her own divinity after we retrieved her pill and he was set aflame due to divine power being inside him and clashing with his demonic traits/power ;w;;

also during one of the treasure hunt missions is a letter he wrote for baiya and when i say i sobbed even harder when reading it ;w;

haha.... pls end my misery :'D

and the fact u can actually see his scrapped version just outside the building where she is, with the only legible part being "i have poured my heart into this letter" ;w; also u can find the detailed notes he made on what baiya likes/doesnt like to eat as well as her dietary restrictions bc when she was held captive he was instructing all the demons on what to prepare for her + his introduction is literally him scolding a demon for bringing fruit when baiya isnt a fan of sweet things 😭😭

and just when i thought it was over in the ending .... wangyu reincarnates as his original demon dog form .... ourgh... bc i chose to give my prize to li chan, shien obv gets put in the game and shes running away with demon dog!wangyu from cultivators who are threatening them, so we go after them and then baiya comes in and ;w;;;

li shien: wow, miss! you're so cool! thanks for helping me! my name's shien. baiya: my pleasure... little girl, would you mind giving that... dog back to me? li shien: ah! is this your dog? baiya: ...yes. li shien: sorry, miss! i didn't mean anything! i saw a bunch of kids throwing rocks at it, so i thought it had been abandoned... baiya: ... baiya: he... wasn't abandoned. li shien: i'm glad he has a home! go ahead, little guy. time to go home. baiya: right, come... home with me.

head in hands... the fact the world basically got reset due to us helping sangmu complete the ritual allowed wangyu to be reborn, which also means they meet before the did previously in the battlefield and can instead be together longer ;w;;; and if u go back to see baiya, wangyu will also be there ;w;

and bc theres an alternate ending where u dont give ur prize to li chan and instead have all five of u have ur characters in the game, shien wont be with wangyu running away, but instead it will just be wangyu on his own being chased away bc he is a demonic beast. and i wanted to see how different it would be and if baiya would say anything different when it is just him and omg...

qingwu: lady baiya, we discovered a beast here! we were just about to eliminate it to preserve the peace in fuli city! baiya: did it harm anyone? yunque: n-no, not yet... but it's a demonic beast! sooner or later, it's going to stir up trouble! baiya: ... baiya: i'll handle this. qingwu: ah... o-of course! we'll take our leave then! baiya: ... baiya: do you... still hate me? baiya: ...will you... come home with me? little dog: woof, woof! woof! baiya: you're still as dumb as ever... baiya: in that case... let's go home together. baiya: this time, i'll always be with you. that way, you won't make any more mistakes...

throws up i am not okay. great story. amazing story. i love it when they give the side characters their own story like this bc it actually does so much world building and expansion and ourbfgkgsdk

#tears of sophie ; not themis #<- once again this tag holds true #baiya and wangyu... i hope u can find happiness in this new life ;w;;#AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON FAI LANG AND FEI LI LIKE HELLODFDHLSKF #doomed sisters.... one upholding responsibility and sacrifices for the better of the land they are to protect with the other left behind...#sobbing fei li becoming the new tree leaving fei lang to watch over the realm on her own but fei lang knows her sister is always with her..#AND THEN IN THE WORLD RESET WHEN FEI LI APPEARED BEHIND FEI LANG I CRODE SO BAD #also the ost was so so good and made me cry more during those scene ;w;#anyway lol i suffered so much emotional damage in this event its not even funny #<- artem taking me all the way to hard pity when i was at 0 in the beginning was the worst part tho <//3

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squidinkedcreative · 1 year ago

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aaaaaaa brain is putting things together about izzy and i just :( damn

also going to say this now that if ur an izzy hater, this post isnt for u! pls dont engage :) thank u

saw art with a quote from a post about izzy, talking about how some people find it touching that he’s buried in the yard of the inn, but this person didn’t. it made them feel sick because he’s buried there like a dog. and just first of all yeah. at first it was touching to me bc of that sentiment that they’re keeping him near them, even in death, but the more i thought on it the more my stomach also churned.

i know djenks had the best intentions with how izzy’s character and arc were treated but jfc ya missed the mark. by a wide margin. like hello???? having the entire point of his arc in season two be discovering himself and growing into himself, hell even standing up for himself and letting himself hold on a little looser to his baggage and just put down the baggage he chose to carry on behalf of the man he loved only for him to die like an episode or two later. and the crew acts like nothing happened just. it doesnt sit right with me and it hasnt since the first time i saw it.

i know its for “plot” reasons, but there was no other way to convey any of this than maiming him like the family dog nobody actually likes??? like a grimy mutt?? without him LITERALLY DYING????????????????? AT THE VERY END OF THE SEASON??????? AND NOT EVEN HAVE THAT BE THE MAIN MESSAGE FOR THE REST OF THE EPISODE??? you had to stomp all over his dead body with a fucking wedding. yes yes good for lucius and pete i really do love them and i am happy for them, but its like they all just. moved on. and forgot about izzy. and trust me i am FULLY aware of how complex grief is, but still. it stings. it feels like its watering down the impact izzy had on everyone on the crew.

he and the kraken’s crew grew so close that they tried to keep him alive even tho they all knew if the kraken found out, they’d all be paying with blood. they MADE HIM. A PROSTHETIC. AND PAINTED IT. they cheered him on when he came out in drag and sang in fucking FRENCH!!!!!!! and then he dies and like 3 minutes later theres a wedding and another party. it feels tasteless. it feels demeaning.

and i 100% think djenks roped izzy and ed into the Bury Your Gays trope without thinking that through. elder queer man who is traumatized dozens of times over who just fucking came to terms with himself AND WHO JUST CONFESSED HIS LOVE TO EDWARD!!!! dies. shortly after that, timeline wise. thats the fucking trope. it’s literally right there.

AND THEN. they fucking bury him in the YARD. LIKE A DOG. in the far corner where they wont see it and be reminded of him every day. out of sight out of mind. they’ll move on and grow old together, blissfully happy, while izzy’s bones are the only thing left of the man who once was Israel Hands, First Mate to the legendary Blackbeard. he never got to have his mutual pining moment, he never got to find the true love of his life and grow old with them. he doesnt get to die fulfilled, with labored breaths, as old age takes him. he gets to sit and watch from the corner as ed and stede, his ex of sorts and the guy he replaced him with, live that happily ever after. he gets to sit in the corner like a bad dog and watch as these two get everything he ever wanted. just like the unwanted family pet.

it makes me ill. he deserved so much better. he deserves better than doggy heaven, he deserves better than being roped into the fucking Bury Your Gays trope too.

#ofmd #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd izzy hands #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death s2 spoilers #our flag means death season 2 #our flag means death s2 #israel hands #just thinking about this a lot tonight :)#deff normal thinking :) yep :)

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multifandommadnessblog · 9 months ago

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Narilamb; an in-depth(ish) study by Rachi that is totally deranged but maybe someone else will like it :) - aka it's her headcanons and stuff (with videos from other creators)

okay so why am i so obsessed with narilamb? uh... look i can explain i swear

Okay first off: my opinions here are probably very similar to many others and I know I'm not original in any way, shape or form. BUT, I like to talk (or type I guess).

SO... why is narilamb so good?? Most of us agree it's kinda pretty toxic. I see it as a relationship that was (heavy on the was) built on unhealthy power dynamics, manipulation and overall nuh uhs. To be clear it's kinda toxic on both sides, Narinder and lamb both at some point in the overall relationship do bad things and that's just how it is. it's complicated

but anyways

Idk how many of us actually chose to spare Narinder versus kill him at the end of the game (I personally spared him) but this is where a lot of these headcanons (and I'd argue the ship itself) starts.

When spared Narinder is escaping the jail that he was held in for thousands of years, but then forced to adapt to a new life in the cult. Which kinda sucks, and most of my headcanons center around Narinder going through some deep character arc (not excusing his previous actions) and learning to live life again basically.

and obv the lamb's personality is supposed to be based off the player since we play them, but I picture them in two ways:

Classic sunshine, happy go jolly. Their "cult" personality if you will - they're silly and goofy and meme worthy

Numb, cold and just trying to get by. Without proper support they withhold all of these negative emotions and experiences. They didn't want this - they just knew this was their only chance at life again (this video by Paper SU conveys this)

Part of me thinks that the lamb never wanted any of this cult business, they probably had a simple life before. The only reason they are here is because they truly don't have anything else. Their cult members don't really have the depth to help them, and lamb sees them more as children to live for than a companion or someone who truly understands their experiences.

then black cat babygirl Narinder comes in and BAM.

The two have been harmed by deep trauma without a proper outlet for it. I picture both having to live with these and just kinda hide that part of them (for Narinder it comes out as anger and falsely guarding himself so he doesn't get hurt again. For lamb they just hide behind this happy facade they put up, Ratau and his folks are the only ones who see some of what the real lamb is like)

When first interacting in the new dynamic (Nari is in the cult now) it's messy to say the least. Lamb finally realizes someone could potentially understand what they had been through for the past uh.... many many years. Ofc, Narinder kinda started it all but he also gave them life again. It's complicated, and lamb's feelings about it are also complicated. Narinder is just sassy and mean like usual, refusing to accept lamb as the new god, still angry from their (and others) betrayal, blah blah blah, kinda wanting to just live his new life but he has lived for so long in anger it would be weird to not...

and for a while lamb thinks it's not going to work :(

But then MmMMMMMMMM THE IMMORTALITY OF IT.

Okay look look, can we all agree that Narinder is canonly immortal (cause of his trait if you spare him) and Lamb ascending to godhood is immortal? Yes? Cool.

I love the idea that these two got literally all of the time in the world to figure out their dynamic and help to heal each other after all of their traumas. Even if they go through rough patches they have all the time to work it out and that just gives me so much hope :,) Cause in the real world relationships can't work like that so I almost feel like there is a pressure on relationships to rush through and never have extreme conflict bc there isn't enough time in life to work through it and still enjoy the time together (existential crisis)

A really great video I watched that (in my opinion) demonstrates this idea is this animatic by Strawdool on youtube! (it's also just really cute please watch it)

So even if these two are as different as can be, both mentally damaged and overall not doing so hot, one is angry as hell, and the other is in denial and just sad THEY GOT ALL OF ETERNITY TO FIGURE IT OUT. They can learn to live together because they know they will always have each other :>

I mean there is a tumblr post i saw where someone complied the official art of Narinder and it shows him just being kinda silly n goofy

i'm sure it's for the sillies BUT PERSONALLY I see it as Nari finally being comfy in his life (maybe a very long time after he is indoctrinated) - finally working on healing and he's just chilling

i wanna thank lamb for that, and i hope lamb also is doing just as good because of nari

please i need to write more of this its so unhealthy all of these ideas sitting in my little brain - for now i must shut up

(also I have SEARCHED FAR AND WIDE for fan content of this ship so if any of y'all are up for fanfiction or fan art reccs hmu I have many)

okay thanks

bye

#rachi's silly rambles #cult of the lamb headcanons #cult of the lamb #narilamb #ugh its so good i love this ship

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golbrocklovely · 6 months ago

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Your respond made me question if those “fans” will ever accept Sam’s new partner that is not Katrina (or Colby lol). The way i see it even Malia was more welcomed than Katelyn (although both of them had a cold start). I think nowadays i see more people loving Malia and actually accepting her, than hating on her. Thing that I fear Kateyn would not be ale to achieve if she stayed. And my only reason for that it’s because people felt too attached to Katrina, even people who supposedly “hated her” or claimed she is “using Sam” got used to her just being there and being Sam’s gf that i fear they will never let that go (especially that if i am not wrong Katrina is still single) and every other Sam’s new gf will be compared to Katrina and hated by the fandom, because for them “Katrina and Sam are clearly MADE for each other 😣”. I mean some people still act like she is Sam’s gf or like she is meant to come back, because “it’s her place”. So in that matter i kinda pity Sam.

i mean… that's kinda how i feel tbh lol

(another ramble session from me, sorry in advance)

the sam and kat thing is very odd to me, especially when you see fans say "he'll never do better than her". first and foremost, i get being upset that they ended, sure. but saying that sounds gross to me for some reason. like i think you can lift up kat and say she's gonna have a good life without him and will eventually find love without saying that he somehow is never gonna be happy again. that type of behavior and thought process is so childish. it's not like he was abusive, he broke up with her bc he just couldn't marry her and making her wait even longer would have been worse for their relationship.

while it's clear they aren't on the best of terms anymore, i think hating him (or her, bc god knows she gets hate too) is just weird. you don't have to hate either of them. their relationship didn't end in flames or bc they hate each other. you don't have to make it a versus all the time. there is no winner in this outcome.

as for katelyn and malia… the issue is messy. personally, i think both girls got the short end of the stick. they both got a crazy amount of hate (and malia still does) and i expected part of that to happen eventually when colby got a gf, but i think bc kat wasn't with sam anymore, it became like a shit storm instantly since it wasn't just colby getting a gf.

katelyn had so many lies spread about her in relation to kat it's not even funny. ppl were claiming they were friends before and thus she took sam from her (not true at all. they did possibly follow one another before hand, but their only connection was tess, who wasn't exactly bffls with kat). ppl claimed katelyn talked badly about kat, even tho all the clips i've seen have been not even remotely noteworthy, let alone something to throw hate at her for. i kinda think the reason why katelyn got a lot of hate is bc, as i've said countless times before on here, this fandom has an inability to critique sam. they will do everything in their power to not give him hell even tho they do it all the time to colby. so i weirdly think that bc this fandom couldn't be mad at sam for moving on too quickly from kat or for seemingly """replacing""" her, they chose katelyn to take their anger out on. but even that eventually wore itself thin and for the first time, i actually saw ppl genuinely hate on sam the same way they do colby. which was both refreshing and depressing all at the same time lol

i also think katelyn is just weird enough to be annoying to a lot of ppl, and bc of that, immediately she sucks. i obviously don't feel that way about her, but i can get why some wouldn't love her. in addition, i think she tried a bit too hard to be liked in this fandom and that drove ppl nuts. and she introduced colby to malia, which means she was public enemy #1 for a lot ppl. i mean, i literally heard someone full on dox her during a space on twitter and then call her a whore just bc she's dating sam. while the fandom wasn't in love with kat the moment they met her, they never went this far.

as for malia, i've seen some truly heinous shit said about her. like i'm talking fake dms with nudes (that obviously weren't hers), cheating allegations, fans making fun of her filler and boob job, fans calling her a whore and a slut for merely wanting to show off her body, she has no personality (even tho we've never even heard her speak so…. explain how you just know that), colby chose her over shea (which is just not true at all), the list goes on and on. i think the hate for her has calmed down a lot bc i think 1, she never tries to talk to fans except the occasional reply on a TikTok comment. i honestly think her not trying to befriend the fandom has worked out for her a lot more than katelyn's attempt at being our bestie. and 2, i think that bc colby shows her off (in a way that sam never did katelyn) we can see that colby is happy with malia. unless you're a hater; then bc they pose too much in pictures or *checks notes* never smile with one another that means they are faking it.

i do feel for sam, in a way, too. the thing is, i think out of the two of them, sam is the one that will speak up against the fandom, and he needs to do that. he needs to tell fans to chill the fuck out when it comes to his future significant others. like we cannot have a repeat next time he dates someone. it's just not gonna work out. but i also feel as if snc aren't gonna do that. i love them dearly, and idk who is in their ear telling them to do this (whether it be management or themselves) but them not sticking up for themselves or their gfs rubs me the wrong way. bc that's how you get a fandom like this that thinks hating on their gfs/themselves for a year straight is somehow okay. and god knows if i was dating one of them long term and they were just telling me to ignore the hate or not use an entire social media platform bc that's were a majority the hate was on… i would be going nuclear lol

like, it's either you tell your fans to calm down or i do. and since they ain't my fans, i don't have to be nice to them. so… pick your poison.

#ask #personal #sg ll #cb ll

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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 1 year ago

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Okay no joke if I was Yves I’d be mad as hell too, like you chose this sloppy, forgetful man over HIM??? the same man that literally has your genetic sequence down to the allele by heart?? Knows all of your genetic information so well that it would put 23 and me to shame!! Not only that but like I think there was an ask about how an anon believes that Monty would’ve honestly attached himself to anyone who was just there at the right time meanwhile Yves’ love for his darling is entirely unique and under any circumstances he never feel this way for anyone else. Like UGH with Yves it’s literally all or nothing, if it’s no you, he doesn’t want it. But with Montgomery, if another person showed up he would’ve been acting the same with that person and not you!! Like his love isn’t “unique” I guess in a way.

Ooo I’d be so upset too. I wonder like has he ever at least THOUGHT about trying to do some technological fuckery to end the relationship between his darling and Montgomery? Like perhaps, doctor some text messages, do voice impersonations or create a voice impersonator so that he could make it seem like Monty was cheating on his darling, causing her to run into his arms. It would b EUREKA 💡 as f because he wouldn’t have to kill Monty bc he actually didn’t do it, and she’s no long with him. But RATS he probably wouldn’t want to bring that sort of pain onto his darling especially with the harsh feeling of betrayal, that can mentally scar someone for years, a feeling that Yves probably is quite familiar with :(.

Buttt at the same time we do have instances (such as if the reader was really old or suffering from terminal health issues) where he would lean more towards being selfish as long as you stay with him, so in certain circumstances he is selfish enough to let you go through pain as long as you’re with him. But dang now that I’m typing this, I’m like that’s probably not that good of a comparison, one’s a relationship and the other is your life.

Also he probably wouldn’t want to take away any of his darlings happiness either, but dang like what if it was something more subliminal maybe like you unconsciously hearing subliminal messages telling you to leave Monty and that all you need is Yves because he’s the only one that can make you truly happy Mann I don’t know 😔.

But at the same time I’m ngl!! I can kinda see why some of y’all like Monty. I think it was Chapter 39?? When he busted through the door of the house and essentially mollywhopped everyone. I was like wait,,, why is he kinda,,, I guess like some of the guilt of not being there for the reader coupled with what he heard was just enough to make him snap and go into a rage. And some people are probably more comfortable around someone who’s like Monty as compared to Yves.

But also like really quick! Does Monty have the same level of unconditional love as Yves? Like I think I remember reading somewhere that you could essentially try anything you want and Yves will NOT leave you, like he has permanently cemented himself to your side literally FOREVER like it’s almost cosmic in a way. I wonder if Monty has that same level of patience but in his own way.

Zhats enough of my unintelligible ramblings and questions, your last post really did it 4 me ooo I wanted to bite my phone!! Love your work!!!!!

the other ask in question

Holy fuckin shit anon thank u so much for ur thoughts i would love to hear moar feel free to ramble more in my asks!!1 these are the types of stuff that also keeps me going with my writing

also i got like newest installation where yves interacts with yan older bro

naw YVes wouldnt like paint monty as a cheater because the pain fuckin HURTS man, he would rather be cucked like indefinitely than let you go through the horrors of recovering from such betrayal, plus there is a chance that you get so hurt that you didn't want to be in a relationship anymore or even ASSOCIATED with men anymore, so Yves just shot himself in the foot

He's only selfish when it comes to keeping you with him, so too bad if you are facing horrors of the mind, you are getting revived

Yves is defnitely using the subliminal messages to his advantage. you would probably be all like "ewww" to Monty after the first few days, weeks if you're particularly into sad, dirty men. but true love can really work past that and there really isn't much he could do without devastating you

Oh yeah Monty's love is fr unconditional, if you are abusive to him, he will take it. Altho he would cry in secret, praying to god that you will one day change your ways and stop abusing him, he will never leave even if everyone around him tells him to. He would stay until he's dead or police actually caught you beating him into a pulp, but even then, he would say it was his fault for provoking you -- he would try everything in his power to get you out of trouble.

He isn't like YVes in a sense that he tries to change you, he will just beg pathetically and get fucked over and over without learning his lesson.

If you're dead, he's dead. Simple as. Nothing will get in the way of Monty's quest to be by your side as soon as possible.

thanx 4 reading my stuff anon ur analysis really made my day i love reading yalls thoughts

#yandere #yandere concept #oc yves #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc x reader #tw yandere #yandere male #yandere oc #yandere x reader #oc montgomery

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