#but then ends up loving him bc he literally chose life and love and happiness over a past he no longer identifies with

[sherokutakari]

Okay but can we have Mary meet Ed

PLEASE can we have Mary meet Ed?

[mustangbby]

HIIII I JUST READ YOUR BOOTHILL IDEA ABOUT PREGNANCY AND I AM WELL FED 😭 i love how angsty it is. oh boy i'm sure struggles a lot during his s/o's pregnancy. like...it has lots of cry and self-conflict because he may thinking that he isn't helping his s/o. there gonna be small arguments and misunderstandings. it's hard for the both of them and the baby. 🥹

ohhhh yes. yup. decided to take a real angsty route with this one. I added some mentions of his actual backstory here, bc my og one was written before his backstory was released lols

Boothill definitely cries during your whole entire pregnancy. He also has a lot of bad thoughts about himself during it, too. 

At first, he tries to hide it, and either subtly cry, or just simply wait until you’re no longer in the room or the house. He doesn’t want you to know that he’s not happy because of the state he’s in. 

He used to be human, he used to be flesh, and most importantly, he once had a daughter of his own, and that's what crushes him the most. He fears so much that he’s almost going to replace her, even though he knows deep down in his heart that it most definitely wouldn’t be able to happen. 

He also feels so bad about not being able to do normal human things for your during your pregnancy :(((( he knows how much you want to be able to be soft and intimate, to take baths and be able to have a cozy massage and just a cozy person around in general, and he’s the exact opposite of that. He doesn’t even think he deserves the husband title anymore.

He literally once asked you why you’re still with him and not someone else. You explained that you loved him and you wanted to be with him, and even then he never really expressed the way he felt about himself to you but you could sort of see it in his eyes. He didn’t like the way he was and the fact that he can’t be what he refers to as a “proper dad” to his kid. 

He knows it’s hard on you, too, and he also knows that you’re catching onto his harsh thoughts, and you’re catching on fast. It caused an argument a few times, on how you’re hurt that he’s not expressing his emotions, he doesn’t want to, it turns into a “do you not trust me or something?” conflict on your end, and a “I just don’t know what to say without hurting you” conflict on his end. Misunderstanding that likely won’t just dissipate. 

There was one argument that you both had when you were nearing pretty close to your due date, and he decided he was going to walk out midway through and not come back for about a week. For some reason, he chose a petty route, leaving you anxious and super betrayed, considering he refused to answer his phone, too.

The argument was over something that seemed incredibly stupid, if you both must say so yourselves. He was, once again, insecure, and he wouldn’t tell you why. That was what bothered you- did he not trust you enough? Did he seriously not want to be a part of this baby's life? Why else would he just walk out?

To say it made you super anxious, scared, and lonely was an understatement. You were left with the thought that you’d have to give birth alone, and go back to your original game plan that you already mentally set up. You thought he genuinely left you.

That was, until he walked back into the house on a random afternoon that next week. He ran up to you and apologized, allowing you to cry it out in his steel arms. He felt so horrible, and he vowed to you to never, ever do that again.

He tries to start letting you in on his troubles from that point on, but there still seems to him like there's a barrier blocking his words from coming out. Sometimes, he just blames it on his synesthesia beacon, which seems to work for now. 

He also lets you see him cry more often, but that stops when you give birth. He doesn’t need you to be more overwhelmed than you already will end up being.

[canadianno]

TCOLC AU Bishop refs!

They're done holy FUCK. The art here is kind of old, so some of the proportions are a little wrong, but I don't really mind all that much. 15 hours and 89 layers later, all 5 bishops are done. On one canvas because... I didn't wanna make new ones I'm ngl.

Each bishop has an everyday outfit and a crusade outfit! If you're drawing them at any point (now or in the future) and you have questions about the designs, don't be scared to send an ask my way, I'm always happy to clarify stuff.

(Note: I would greatly appreciate it if people didn't make suggestive jokes surrounding any of the designs, I'm not comfortable with them! Love yall <3)

Ramblings below! Edited note: tumblr likes to completely break my posts when I add a cut sometimes, which happened here, so I'm not gonna put one in hopes that it doesn't kill my formatting again. Hopefully it automatically "read more"s this post. If it doesn't I'm very sorry 🙏

🌿 Leshy: It's to be noted that my Leshy is transmasc, literally just because I think he deserves it, it's cool as fuck. I really wanted to give him the classic top-surgery scars because, I'll be honest, they're fun to draw, but I had to find a reasonable explanation for it because he's not a mammal. Anyway that's how I ended up with an entire evolutionary explanation for why he would have those. I will never be given the chance to explain it in the fic ever, so it shall just be random information I have forever. I love him he's silly.

🍄 Heket: While I am a big supporter of tomboy Heket, I also think she deserves to be cool and wear pretty frills whenever the fuck she wants. She's awesome and her shirt is supposed to look like a mushroom. It's also worth noting that the crosses on the bishops heads are specific, with Heket having two crosses with double prongs. She has them like this in-game and there's probably a cooler explanation for it but. I have my own silly headcanons bc I do what I want! Also, since I can't decide for the fucking life of me if she's a toad or a frog, I've decided she's just. Both. Both of them. Her mom was a frog her dad was a toad. Is this possible irl? No but COTL is a fantasy world I do whatever the fuck I want.

🌑 Narinder: Main thing I note for Narinder is that he has distinct facial markings, you just have to look closely. Another note is that his clothes have a repeating cloud motif because of the fog in the gateway- which, trust, it was his own idea. Lamb doesn't know why he chose it but they're not gonna argue. Narinders' main robes are made of wool, but his crusade outfit is made of cotton so it's easier to repair if damaged. His crusade outfit has the Big Pants because he's mostly gotta fight with his feet now, since most of the time his hands don't function reliably enough to hold a weapon.

🪸 Kallamar: Kallamar is funny to me because he's the only one here who's plantigrade, meaning he's got human-esque legs. Another notable design aspect is that he has a tail, when squids do Not Normally Have Those. That's because my Kallamar isn't fully a squid, and you can kinda sorta blame my mutual for that. Not really it's me who gave him the tail. Anyway, no matter how you draw him or what outfit he's in those 3 dark red jewels on the golden chain thing gotta be on him somewhere- they're sentimental to him. He usually wears them as a crown, but in the crusade outfit they're around his neck to be safer. Also, on the crusade outfit, he has stolen a set of Shamuras gloves. Brat little brother <3

🔮 Shamura: Their main outfit really closely resembles their bishop robes and that is intentional! They made the robes themselves, and it would've been close to an exact match had the Lamb banned them from using golden colored cloth. This is only partially because Lamb doesn't like them, but also because they don't want the bishops trying to start a mutiny, and walking around in bishop robes is a pretty easy way to collect weaker followers like flies. Shamuras' crusade outfit is also pretty unique compared to the others, and one of two reasons is that it's meant to resemble their old crusade outfits when they were younger. The second reason is that they look really cool. The outfit is designed for mobility, mostly, and before you say anything, the hip windows are because Shamura usually holds close range weaponry in the second set of arms and hates the way they snag on fabric when its there.

[danyseastar]

i’m being so serious rn i’m going to need tg to stop glomping onto half of rhaenyra’s kids 🫨

jace would NEVER abandon his family to back aegon’s claim (‘wah wah wah he HATES his mother bc she *made* him a bastard-’ one, jace does not care enough about that to abandon his mother [to whom he is literally the miniature version of] and two, his entire personality is his love for his family. he literally dies trying to save aegon and viserys *after* his mom told him not to go fuck OFF).

rhaena would also *never* abandon her family to back aegon’s claim (apparently she’ll feel sorry about blood & cheese and want to make amends with them. i don’t think so, i think she’d be more upset that her betrothed was ruthlessly slaughtered despite his status as a peace envoy but whatever).

baela is one of rhaenyra’s staunchest supporters (‘the greens reach to usurp our queen’s throne and they must be answer with fire and blood.’ i DO NOT care that it didn’t make it into the show that is canon!baela) and does *not* want driftmark (which only corlys has a say in, and he chose bAsTaRdS over her and rhaena at every single turn don’t even mention it), so stop trying to conflate your hatred of rhaenyra onto her daughter.

aegon iii would never have been happy married to jaehaera and vice versa. these were two heavily traumatized children. jaehaera would have to deal with being married to the son of the man who had her brother executed (not to mention that she already had severe physical and mental health issues that were not being treated and the people around her [aegon ii before he died and alicent after] were actively making her life worse). aegon would have to deal with being married to the daughter of the man who had his dragon burn and eat his mother alive while he watched. which he never ended up letting go of (even with a wife who we know he obviously loved dearly) he wore black for the rest of his life and was stated to be the most solemn king due to what he experienced during the dance. there was no saving them.

leave. them. alone.

[violent-viscera]

my true (respectful) thoughts of arcane s2

so much of the promotional material promised so much in the way of vi and jinx/powder and their sisterly relationship, but i feel like with the amount of storylines/plotlines they did in this season, it was just too busy to focus on anyone–let alone the two supposed protagonists of the show. i think the best way for me to articulate how i feel about the writing of this show is that it fell flat, lost its heart, and emotional impact of the first season.

i would have been okay with them straying from my personal favourite focus if:

the storylines had been fleshed out better

the decisions the characters made actually made sense

main characters didn't become plot devices (vi)

new additions of the show weren't just plot devices (isha, loris, maddie, etc.)

motivations of characters made sense

characters had even small lines/dialogue to articulate their intentions/ideas

less time spent on off-screen development

and the thing is with the amount of plot lines they were ambitiously aiming to see out to fruition, its really hard to also set up all these new facets or opposing characteristics in former characters–plus adding new ones too. for example:

caitlyn's facist arc that didn't really have much meaning or attention

jinx's s1 mental collapse which changed abruptly into her redemption arc via isha (plot device)

jinx's revolutionist arc (first, reluctantly and then, willingly w ekko)

vi's pitfighter/brawler arc which was literally just one clip (which ended up being a teaser that showed everything)

im almost grateful to the minimal screen time ekko got bc they didn't try to change the core and essence of who he was in s1: he stayed true to himself. he's just a boy with a huge heart and love for his people that chose to leave his happy ending in an alternate timeline to return to the ppl who needed him where he is almost guaranteed heartbreak in some way or another.

i think the main reason so many ppl loved the first season was bc the characters were relatable in one way or another and they became so multidimensional when you explored how their environment/circumstances shaped them. but this season bc it was so purely focused on the endgame instead of HOW everyone got there, the characters fell flatter, they lost a soul and heart, and i felt the show lost its charm.

i know we all have our favourite characters and storylines we want the show to focus on and i would have been okay if i didn't get my way. if the show didn't focus on jinx and vi, i would've lived (although the promotional material was unfairly misleading) if the storylines, characters, and everything else made sense to me.

of course, the animation was lovely and the music was catchy/heartbreaking. i dont regret watching the show out to its final episode. it was one of the most beautiful visual experiences of my entire life. i still love the characters and will never regret staying on board until the final moments.

but i cant lie and say im not a little sad at how it ended too.

edited add-on:

also, the voice actors did phenomenally. ella purnell just absolutely nails the delivery for every line and reed shannon also hurt me with how he portrayed ekko. so on and so forth.

but that being said, i also felt the dialogue and lines of each character felt much less impactful this season (again, writing.)

i liked viktor’s monologue at the end of act 2. that was compellingly well written

but the lines this season weren’t the same quality as silco’s monologue about drowning, jinx’s speech at the beginning of the doomed tea party, etc. everything just felt so flat and shallow this season overall.

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 49 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 48.1 | lesson 48.2 | lesson 49.2 | lesson 50.1 | lesson 50.2

now...

it's CANON that he knows he can't cook

so why the fuck 😭

luke :(((( baby :((((((((

i'm glad simeon is finally opening up though. luke being able to event talk to simeon about (before simeon himself, mind you) this proves that he's more than mature enough to have conversations like this. i love seeing how much he's grown since the beginning of the game

didn't take a screenshot of this bc i can only post 10 pictures per post, BUT i'm glad the fact that raphael showed up out of nowhere wasn't glossed over bc why is he here ??? respectfully

this is why simeon don't talk to nobody 😭 y'all can't take SHIT seriously

but in all honesty i'd just shut down and stop talking bc i get overwhelmed easily

but oh luke...

i hope he takes this as a "hm maybe the celestial realm isn't as good as it seems, maybe things aren't just black and white" instead of immediately jumping to "no simeon's too kind to be a demon bc all demons are mean and they suck", but i feel like the devs are gonna go with the latter simply bc they love giving luke development and then ripping it away seconds later

(for context, the other response was something along the lines of "he really cried his eyes out, huh?")

regardless of how much luke has grown and matured, he's still a kid. like, a kid kid. they cry when they're upset, when they're angry, when they're throwing a tantrum, and when theyre confused and/or overwhelmed. i feel like the latter might be the case with luke, which is why i chose the "i'm sure he'll be ok" option

more on this here

they're making it sound like simeon is queer/trans and honestly...i'm here for it. but that's partially bc i fall under both umbrellas. i love projecting 🫶🏽

i do wish it were this easy to come out and have your family/friends accept you bc it was a doozy for me 🫠

ANYWAYS

angst. give me more. PLEASE

i'm just so so glad that he's actually opening up. in the past, it felt like every time we get a crumb of vulnerability, he'd shut back down and act like everything was okay. idk if it's because he's more comfortable in his identity and place in the world, or his place in mc and the brothers' life, but he's more prone to actually talking about what's bothering him. it makes me happy

...this makes me a little less happy

ik simeon his his qualms with the celestial realm, but all in all, he probably still sees the place as his home and the people there as his family

what if this whole arc ends with the celestial realm opening its gates to (certain) demons? what if the boys get to visit their old home for the first time in literal millenia? and what if they get to show satan around?

idk y'all i'm trying to be hopeful, but hope can only get you so far when it comes to this game 😭

development at its finest

not focusing on a way to "fix" simeon, but to help deal with the situation at hand despite and because of simeon's condition

...ig the angst could only last for so long. back to the nerdy shit

[hanafubukki]

hanahanahanahanaaaaa

ive just read a post on how silver & KoD's resemblance was intentional; not simply bc they're related but BC IT WAS AN ANTITHESIS OF HOW SILVER COULD BE HAD HE NOT RAISED BY LILIA and hv this 'freedom' of choosing his own morality n lemme tell u i am. sobbing rn.

this post specifically

https://www.tumblr.com/nymphilily/747408170476011520/the-knight-of-dawn-being-a-near-exact-copy-of?source=share

sorry for dragging u into ths i just wanna share.. ths dadson never cease to wreck me in ways ive never expected smh THEY'RE JUST SO. SO.

UEUEUEUEUEUEEEEEEE

Hello Miè 💚🌺🌷

Never be sorry for this Miè, I love talking about Diasomnia characters and the Knight of Dawn. In fact, I’m ecstatic you brought this up to me 🥹☺️💞💞💚💚 I can now fangirl and cry with you 🫶🫶

Ahhh the link doesn’t work for me 😭💔 it might have been recently deleted?

BUT YES!! I fully believe that the Knight of Dawn’s appearance and Silver’s was fully intentional. This will irrevocably confirm their ties as father and son. No one can escape it, not even Silver.

Additionally, in the Sleeping Beauty animation. Aurora was basically a copy of her mom. So that could also be a homage to that as well. 🥹🌷

On that topic, it makes me so sad to see all those parents and their children posts on twitter and on here, but rarely do we see the Knight of Dawn and Silver together. But thankfully, I did see some on JP side of twitter having them together 🙏

Because as much as Lilia is the father to Malleus and Silver, so is Meleanor to Malleus and Knight of Dawn to Silver. But I’ll end that rambling here 😖

Back to your point about Silver being the antithesis of Knight of Dawn, and this is where the tissues are truly needed, it shows how much love and environment can influence someone doesn’t it?

Both Dawn and Silver were adopted by someone they care for, but their situation differs.

Dawn was adopted and cared for by his father figure (whom we haven’t met but we know is sick) and this is used as a weapon against him by Henrik. Shouldn’t you be grateful? Shouldn’t you help get the Princess Glow? Don’t you care for your father figure and Princess Leia?

His feelings was constantly used against him. He wasn’t treated as a person but a weapon by those around him. He had no choice in the matter and it was because of this that the Knight of Dawn had to take actions he was clearly against.

Now Silver was raised by Lilia, Malleus, and the Zigvolts. He was raised in an environment where he was truly loved. Silver chose to be a knight who will protect Malleus and Lilia. He wasn’t forced or guilt tripped into it by anyone. He always wanted to do this and he trained for it. 🥹💞

And because of this and because of how well he knows Malleus and Lilia, he was able to stand up against OB Malleus.

He knows Lilia wouldn’t want to be forced to stay, especially if others will be hurt. He knows Malleus is doing this to make everyone happy but it will cost him his life, which no one wants. Not Silver who Malleus did this for, not Lilia who Malleus and Silver doesn’t want to loose, and not Sebek who cares about them and see all the love they have for each other. 💚💚

So Silver is able to make this stand because he had this loving nature and freedom, he’s able to fight back because of it, and he’s willing to stand up for it.

But for the Knight of Dawn? He wasn’t in this nourishing nature. He has his feelings used against him and Henrik was always on him, not only that but he had his comrades who he had to protect. He literally had his hands tied 😔

That’s why the blessing used on Silver is such a big deal, why it’s a show of great love from his parents to Silver.

So Silver would never have to go through what the Knight of Dawn has, so he can live life happily in a world of peace and harmony where all races get along.

Silver doesn’t have to have the heartbreak of what Dawn went through. He can be raised in an loving environment that every child deserves.

We have only known the Knight of Dawn for two chapters so far and the parallels/differences he has with Lilia, Silver, and Malleus is chef kiss and makes me feral. 🫶💚

As you can see, I can talk about these characters forever 💞💞💚💚 Thank you again Miè 🌺🌷

[goyurim]

I agree that sol has loved him and tried to save him selflessly but so has he to the same extent? He loved her in two time lines and will in this third one as well for 15 years selflessly without knowing at all that she has feelings for him, he also saved her life multiple times risking his and is ready to do it again paying the price with his life. The reason she has to go back and save him is literally because he saved her spent 15 years miserable because of guilt he couldn't save her legs and then got murdered for it. No to mention the other thousand things small and big he did for her safety and care in all 3 timelines. I don't think I have seen a character love someone so selflessly or devotedly as sun jae so I have to disagree with you there.

you're very welcome to disagree with me! we don't have to agree on everything anon, that's the beauty of it, as @sunlighthroughthe-ashes so eloquently put it, "the beauty of art and entertainment media is the subjectivity of its interpretation. one little show can mean so many different things to so many different people, and i think that's wonderful."

i think you've misunderstood me slightly though so i'd like to address that - you seem to interpret my statement about sunjae liking sol selfishly as some sort of bad thing - as if being selfish in love is wrong and cannot coexist with being selfless, too. you're absolutely right about sun jae being selfless in the way he loves sol, in everything he's done for her. but he's also been selfish in his devotion to her too, he wanted her to love him back, he wanted to be someone special to her. he gets mad at her in the woods during the retreat when she's been avoiding him like the plague, and even back when she bought him all those self-help books, he shuns her away out of his house by saying "you can't give me what i want so just go". does that make sun jae a bad person? of course not! when you love someone you want them to acknowledge it, that's perfectly valid and true. doesn't make it any less selfish. sun jae choses to be selfish, that's why he ends up with sol, and tae sung does not. tae sung's love, in my eyes, is truly selfless. the kinda love that wants their object of affection to be safe and happy, even if that means they themselves will never be on the receiving end of the same.

to me, the whole "i like you" "i love you" scene was a direct continuation of the scene where sun jae misses his flight and returns to sol after finding everything out. he literally asks her to stop worrying about him and allow herself to like him. sol doesn't respond, she's too overwhelmed with everything that's just happened. the "i like you", this time around, was her response. she tells sun jae that she's listened to him. that she's allowing herself to unabashedly like him. his response being "i love you" encapsulates everything he told her back then, but also somehow something more. when you love someone so much, the lines between selflessness and selfishness begin to blur, bc it's not about doing the right thing anymore, it's about doing right by this person. bc your compass of morality isn't a direction anymore, it's a person. sun jae's verbalising these thoughts to her, through his "i love you". these two have loved each other through time and space, over and over again, and their love has evolved over time. from a crush and a fan, silent and afar, to truly devoted, unapologetic love. but neither of them knew! what they've been doing for one another! all this time! the "role reversal" i was referring to might sound weird to the audience bc we know both their feelings from the start. but they don't! they never got to lay their hearts out so openly in front of one another. they're finally doing that now.

[taeraeszn]

can i request zb1 as love languages? thank you so much!

ps i LoVE your writing.. thank you for making my day

zb1 as love languages

hi luv! thank you for requesting <3 tbh i thought this request was very cute when i first saw it and now that i have time to write it, i'm so excited!!!

also thank you for your kind words!! it makes me so happy to know that people love my writings!

warnings: food mentioned but no more from what i saw but pls lmk if there is any!

btw these are all just my thoughts PLS don't attack me if we don't have the same thoughts. these are just what i pulled out from my brain so i apologize if it's similar to what other writers have posted on here.

kim jiwoong - gifts

idk about you guys but i think jiwoong is DEF the guy who'll gift you so many things when you two are dating

like your just heading to a cafe and he's outside waiting with a bouquet in his hands

most of them you don't even ask for, he just offers you them but you can't decline them either since he'll ignore you and hand you them anyways

i also think that for very special occasions like anniversaries and such he'll think carefully of what to give to you then make it the biggest reveal ever

^like maybe a ring or necklace!!

like bro is going all out for you

with every gift he gives, their for a reason, and that's what makes you love him so much <3

yeah i just love jiwoong so much guys <3

rest of the members under the cut!

zhang hao - acts of service

NOBODY CAN DISAGREE WITH ME ON THIS

hao definitely loves giving acts of services that may seem small to others but are actually so thoughtful and considerate

say there's a day where you come home from a long day and the house is literally spotless bc hao offered to clean it, thinking you were mostly likely tired

and this could also be like him helping you with something so you're not struggling alone!!

he's just your little helper and you love it!!

not just that but he'll always talk to you when your feeling down and listen to whatever you have to say and try to make the situatio better

in general, having hao in your life helps everything become so much easier with his presence

and you're always thankful for everything he does <3

sung hanbin - words of affirmation

fun fact this one was the first one i thought of when i saw this request lol

LIKE IT JUST SUITS HIM

and seeing how he originally wanted to be a therapist really shows this

you can just tell he cares about what others have to say and he listens to them with full attention

and same goes for you!! i think everyday he'll remind you of how amazing you are and how much he loves you just because

sometimes he'll even send a text or two reminding you that he loves you deeply

and whenever you come home, he'll remind you that you did well and worked your hardest!!

idk im squealing writing this, ALSO HAPPY EARLY BDAY HANBIN!!!! <3

seok matthew - physical touch

i was pondering between this option and gifts but idk after seeing how affectionate matt is with some of the members i chose this one!

i think matthew just loves hugging you or holding your hand

like in public he will REFUSE to let go of your hand bc he doesn't want to lose you in the crowd

as well, i think matthew would also give you sweet kisses on the forehead and lips, reminding you once again of how much he loves you

idk maybe i'm thinking ahead on this because this is my love language lol

and whenever you two are sitting together he'll just casually rest his hand on your thigh to ensure that he's right there

and though he claims that he wants to be woohyun oppa, he's still your cute little matthew through his physical affection

in the end he's clingy and you love it!!

kim taerae - quality time

i chose this since a lot of the trainees on bp said that taerae would bring his guitar with him and just chill with the trainees

i think he'd also do the same with you!!

like his stay that was supposed to be only twenty minutes ends up becoming 2 hours since he keeps singing songs for you and just wanting to be by your side

and out of the blue he'll just message you and say that he wants to be with you

or he'll just sit on facetime with you for hours on end while studying and not say much, only because he wants you to be with him

you are his favourite person to be with and he will always show that through his quality of time

especially seeing how in the taerae he went to each member's room to see how their doing, idk man that just did things to me

best boy kim taerae

shen ricky - words of affirmation

i was torn between this and acts of service tbh but i think woa suits ricky so well

like hanbin, he'd always remind you of how much you mean to him as a partner and never make you second guess his feelings for you

he's quite literally the perfect boyfriend ever!!

as well, he'll also encourage you to do what you think is right whenever your talking with him and give you great advice for situations

not only that but i believe that ricky would remember small things you mentioned in the past and bring it up again to remind you of how much he actually listens to you

and at night he'd casually slide in a text or voice chat that tells you that he loves you forever and always <3

idk mane ricky is just literal perfection!!

kim gyuvin - physical touch

anyone who says no is lying to themselves

gyuvin LOVES affection especially seeing how he literally adores yujin by touching his face 24/7 and being close with his other members!!

and as your boyfriend, gyuvin would quite literally do the same to you

just always touching your face to kiss you gently

his arms always wrapped around you to keep you near him at all times along with a few sweet hugs

^also he never lets go of your hands

even when your sitting down he'll casually intertwine your fingers together

but you love it sm since it reminds you that gyuvin adores you dearly <3

park gunwook - acts of service

idk about you guys but this just makes total sense to me

as a class president in school, gunwook probably has lots of experience helping others

for you he'd always want to offer a helping hand

you text him that your bored at home and one second later he's at your door with food

or when your sick he takes time off of studying to take care of you despite you telling him that he doesn't have to

even small things such as you saying your thirsty leads to him running to the vending machine to grab you a drink

he goes out of his way to pretty much do everything for you

you always thank him for his help but he plays it off as what every partner should do <3

han yujin - gifts

originally i was thinking another one but after seeing him gift ricky those figurines with the box and matthew with the protein bars, i had to choose this

he genuinely thought out those gifts well which makes me :"")

for you, he'd consider everything he gives you carefully, thinking of what you've been wanting and telling him about

and for each birthday of yours, your always surprised at how thought out each gift is

and the times when you express wanting an item, he goes out to buy it for you right away, packing it nicely for you

i also think his gifts would have a cute note on it!!

he always prioritizes you and rejects your offers to buy him something

i know yujin is still very young so i think this suits him very well

[lanshappycorner]

📸 photo of Ante from high school (context under the cut)

It would not be a story written by me if it didn't have some form of gender fuckery

Anyway random Ante lore drop <3 one day Ryn and Ante are getting lunch with their friends and while they're eating Ryn borrows Ante's phone and starts scrolling through his camera solely because he's bored and he finds this picture and he's like "oh is that ur sister?"

and everyone at the table starts cooing they're all like "she's so pretty!!! that's a high school uniform right is her high school around here. you should let her meet us sometime!!!" and ante is just like "??? nooo thats meee!!! hehe :3" and everyone's like "what"

and then Jace (i haven't properly introduced him yet but he's ante's friend and The Guy With Blood Type B from that one Q&A post...who is also lowkey Ante's twin's bf but whatever) is like "man you know i love you no matter what but i swear you showed me a picture of you from high school for our project last semester and you were like. super boobless" and ante's like "yeah that was also me lol"

HOWEVER although it is random, it IS rare to change every other week/day. Like generally when you change genders, you probably keep it for a couple of months at the least unless your body is really just like fuck you idk

so then he has to explain (some vampire lore for this universe for u guys) that vampires have. a certain level of gender fluidity! as in, quite literally, their bodies change gender throughout their lives and it's not something they can generally control until they reach adulthood.

according to ante, the gender change is completely random, so you might be a guy for like 2 years and then suddenly change to a girl or you might change every other day or week or whatever, there's no pattern and it just happens

He then explains that he's probably changed his gender at least 5 times growing up but he doesn't remember much. But in high school, he was a girl for about half the year and suddenly he changed to a guy for the second half so he was like oh ok

("yeah it was crazy because i've never changed genders halfway through the year before. i woke up one morning and was like where are my boobs. it was also really troublesome trying to convince everyone i somehow did a testosterone speedrun in the span of like. 24 hours").

By the end of that year, he'd turned 18 tho, so at that point he could (mostly) control his Gender Powers TM

Everyone was like "wait so like what gender were you originally born with......what made you choose to stick to being a guy....we have to many questions"

and Ante's just like "Ummmmm originally i think i was born a girl???? or maybe i was a boy ???? i dont remember i'd probably have to ask my mom idk i think the first few seconds of my life i probably glitched genders like 5 times, but it's probably not that important anyways. Also I didn't Hate being a girl i just didn't want to deal with periods until i hit age 50" which is like so real of him so everyone gets it

(*For lore purposes I will also elaborate on the fact that Luan (Ante's twin) also went through the same exact gender cycles Ante did at the same exact time bc it's like a twin thing.💀)

(**Aside from the fact that Ante (and Luan for that matter) chose to be a guy because he didn't want periods lol, make no mistake, he also chose it because it was the form he was most comfortable in. Every now and then he might change it up, but that is very rare because he's pretty happy as he is)

[squidinkedcreative]

aaaaaaa brain is putting things together about izzy and i just :( damn

also going to say this now that if ur an izzy hater, this post isnt for u! pls dont engage :) thank u

saw art with a quote from a post about izzy, talking about how some people find it touching that he’s buried in the yard of the inn, but this person didn’t. it made them feel sick because he’s buried there like a dog. and just first of all yeah. at first it was touching to me bc of that sentiment that they’re keeping him near them, even in death, but the more i thought on it the more my stomach also churned.

i know djenks had the best intentions with how izzy’s character and arc were treated but jfc ya missed the mark. by a wide margin. like hello???? having the entire point of his arc in season two be discovering himself and growing into himself, hell even standing up for himself and letting himself hold on a little looser to his baggage and just put down the baggage he chose to carry on behalf of the man he loved only for him to die like an episode or two later. and the crew acts like nothing happened just. it doesnt sit right with me and it hasnt since the first time i saw it.

i know its for “plot” reasons, but there was no other way to convey any of this than maiming him like the family dog nobody actually likes??? like a grimy mutt?? without him LITERALLY DYING????????????????? AT THE VERY END OF THE SEASON??????? AND NOT EVEN HAVE THAT BE THE MAIN MESSAGE FOR THE REST OF THE EPISODE??? you had to stomp all over his dead body with a fucking wedding. yes yes good for lucius and pete i really do love them and i am happy for them, but its like they all just. moved on. and forgot about izzy. and trust me i am FULLY aware of how complex grief is, but still. it stings. it feels like its watering down the impact izzy had on everyone on the crew.

he and the kraken’s crew grew so close that they tried to keep him alive even tho they all knew if the kraken found out, they’d all be paying with blood. they MADE HIM. A PROSTHETIC. AND PAINTED IT. they cheered him on when he came out in drag and sang in fucking FRENCH!!!!!!! and then he dies and like 3 minutes later theres a wedding and another party. it feels tasteless. it feels demeaning.

and i 100% think djenks roped izzy and ed into the Bury Your Gays trope without thinking that through. elder queer man who is traumatized dozens of times over who just fucking came to terms with himself AND WHO JUST CONFESSED HIS LOVE TO EDWARD!!!! dies. shortly after that, timeline wise. thats the fucking trope. it’s literally right there.

AND THEN. they fucking bury him in the YARD. LIKE A DOG. in the far corner where they wont see it and be reminded of him every day. out of sight out of mind. they’ll move on and grow old together, blissfully happy, while izzy’s bones are the only thing left of the man who once was Israel Hands, First Mate to the legendary Blackbeard. he never got to have his mutual pining moment, he never got to find the true love of his life and grow old with them. he doesnt get to die fulfilled, with labored breaths, as old age takes him. he gets to sit and watch from the corner as ed and stede, his ex of sorts and the guy he replaced him with, live that happily ever after. he gets to sit in the corner like a bad dog and watch as these two get everything he ever wanted. just like the unwanted family pet.

it makes me ill. he deserved so much better. he deserves better than doggy heaven, he deserves better than being roped into the fucking Bury Your Gays trope too.

[multifandommadnessblog]

Narilamb; an in-depth(ish) study by Rachi that is totally deranged but maybe someone else will like it :) - aka it's her headcanons and stuff (with videos from other creators)

okay so why am i so obsessed with narilamb? uh... look i can explain i swear

Okay first off: my opinions here are probably very similar to many others and I know I'm not original in any way, shape or form. BUT, I like to talk (or type I guess).

SO... why is narilamb so good?? Most of us agree it's kinda pretty toxic. I see it as a relationship that was (heavy on the was) built on unhealthy power dynamics, manipulation and overall nuh uhs. To be clear it's kinda toxic on both sides, Narinder and lamb both at some point in the overall relationship do bad things and that's just how it is. it's complicated

but anyways

Idk how many of us actually chose to spare Narinder versus kill him at the end of the game (I personally spared him) but this is where a lot of these headcanons (and I'd argue the ship itself) starts.

When spared Narinder is escaping the jail that he was held in for thousands of years, but then forced to adapt to a new life in the cult. Which kinda sucks, and most of my headcanons center around Narinder going through some deep character arc (not excusing his previous actions) and learning to live life again basically.

and obv the lamb's personality is supposed to be based off the player since we play them, but I picture them in two ways:

Classic sunshine, happy go jolly. Their "cult" personality if you will - they're silly and goofy and meme worthy

Numb, cold and just trying to get by. Without proper support they withhold all of these negative emotions and experiences. They didn't want this - they just knew this was their only chance at life again (this video by Paper SU conveys this)

Part of me thinks that the lamb never wanted any of this cult business, they probably had a simple life before. The only reason they are here is because they truly don't have anything else. Their cult members don't really have the depth to help them, and lamb sees them more as children to live for than a companion or someone who truly understands their experiences.

then black cat babygirl Narinder comes in and BAM.

The two have been harmed by deep trauma without a proper outlet for it. I picture both having to live with these and just kinda hide that part of them (for Narinder it comes out as anger and falsely guarding himself so he doesn't get hurt again. For lamb they just hide behind this happy facade they put up, Ratau and his folks are the only ones who see some of what the real lamb is like)

When first interacting in the new dynamic (Nari is in the cult now) it's messy to say the least. Lamb finally realizes someone could potentially understand what they had been through for the past uh.... many many years. Ofc, Narinder kinda started it all but he also gave them life again. It's complicated, and lamb's feelings about it are also complicated. Narinder is just sassy and mean like usual, refusing to accept lamb as the new god, still angry from their (and others) betrayal, blah blah blah, kinda wanting to just live his new life but he has lived for so long in anger it would be weird to not...

and for a while lamb thinks it's not going to work :(

But then MmMMMMMMMM THE IMMORTALITY OF IT.

Okay look look, can we all agree that Narinder is canonly immortal (cause of his trait if you spare him) and Lamb ascending to godhood is immortal? Yes? Cool.

I love the idea that these two got literally all of the time in the world to figure out their dynamic and help to heal each other after all of their traumas. Even if they go through rough patches they have all the time to work it out and that just gives me so much hope :,) Cause in the real world relationships can't work like that so I almost feel like there is a pressure on relationships to rush through and never have extreme conflict bc there isn't enough time in life to work through it and still enjoy the time together (existential crisis)

A really great video I watched that (in my opinion) demonstrates this idea is this animatic by Strawdool on youtube! (it's also just really cute please watch it)

So even if these two are as different as can be, both mentally damaged and overall not doing so hot, one is angry as hell, and the other is in denial and just sad THEY GOT ALL OF ETERNITY TO FIGURE IT OUT. They can learn to live together because they know they will always have each other :>

I mean there is a tumblr post i saw where someone complied the official art of Narinder and it shows him just being kinda silly n goofy

i'm sure it's for the sillies BUT PERSONALLY I see it as Nari finally being comfy in his life (maybe a very long time after he is indoctrinated) - finally working on healing and he's just chilling

i wanna thank lamb for that, and i hope lamb also is doing just as good because of nari

please i need to write more of this its so unhealthy all of these ideas sitting in my little brain - for now i must shut up

(also I have SEARCHED FAR AND WIDE for fan content of this ship so if any of y'all are up for fanfiction or fan art reccs hmu I have many)

okay thanks

bye

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Okay no joke if I was Yves I’d be mad as hell too, like you chose this sloppy, forgetful man over HIM??? the same man that literally has your genetic sequence down to the allele by heart?? Knows all of your genetic information so well that it would put 23 and me to shame!! Not only that but like I think there was an ask about how an anon believes that Monty would’ve honestly attached himself to anyone who was just there at the right time meanwhile Yves’ love for his darling is entirely unique and under any circumstances he never feel this way for anyone else. Like UGH with Yves it’s literally all or nothing, if it’s no you, he doesn’t want it. But with Montgomery, if another person showed up he would’ve been acting the same with that person and not you!! Like his love isn’t “unique” I guess in a way.

Ooo I’d be so upset too. I wonder like has he ever at least THOUGHT about trying to do some technological fuckery to end the relationship between his darling and Montgomery? Like perhaps, doctor some text messages, do voice impersonations or create a voice impersonator so that he could make it seem like Monty was cheating on his darling, causing her to run into his arms. It would b EUREKA 💡 as f because he wouldn’t have to kill Monty bc he actually didn’t do it, and she’s no long with him. But RATS he probably wouldn’t want to bring that sort of pain onto his darling especially with the harsh feeling of betrayal, that can mentally scar someone for years, a feeling that Yves probably is quite familiar with :(.

Buttt at the same time we do have instances (such as if the reader was really old or suffering from terminal health issues) where he would lean more towards being selfish as long as you stay with him, so in certain circumstances he is selfish enough to let you go through pain as long as you’re with him. But dang now that I’m typing this, I’m like that’s probably not that good of a comparison, one’s a relationship and the other is your life.

Also he probably wouldn’t want to take away any of his darlings happiness either, but dang like what if it was something more subliminal maybe like you unconsciously hearing subliminal messages telling you to leave Monty and that all you need is Yves because he’s the only one that can make you truly happy Mann I don’t know 😔.

But at the same time I’m ngl!! I can kinda see why some of y’all like Monty. I think it was Chapter 39?? When he busted through the door of the house and essentially mollywhopped everyone. I was like wait,,, why is he kinda,,, I guess like some of the guilt of not being there for the reader coupled with what he heard was just enough to make him snap and go into a rage. And some people are probably more comfortable around someone who’s like Monty as compared to Yves.

But also like really quick! Does Monty have the same level of unconditional love as Yves? Like I think I remember reading somewhere that you could essentially try anything you want and Yves will NOT leave you, like he has permanently cemented himself to your side literally FOREVER like it’s almost cosmic in a way. I wonder if Monty has that same level of patience but in his own way.

Zhats enough of my unintelligible ramblings and questions, your last post really did it 4 me ooo I wanted to bite my phone!! Love your work!!!!!

the other ask in question

Holy fuckin shit anon thank u so much for ur thoughts i would love to hear moar feel free to ramble more in my asks!!1 these are the types of stuff that also keeps me going with my writing

also i got like newest installation where yves interacts with yan older bro

naw YVes wouldnt like paint monty as a cheater because the pain fuckin HURTS man, he would rather be cucked like indefinitely than let you go through the horrors of recovering from such betrayal, plus there is a chance that you get so hurt that you didn't want to be in a relationship anymore or even ASSOCIATED with men anymore, so Yves just shot himself in the foot

He's only selfish when it comes to keeping you with him, so too bad if you are facing horrors of the mind, you are getting revived

Yves is defnitely using the subliminal messages to his advantage. you would probably be all like "ewww" to Monty after the first few days, weeks if you're particularly into sad, dirty men. but true love can really work past that and there really isn't much he could do without devastating you

Oh yeah Monty's love is fr unconditional, if you are abusive to him, he will take it. Altho he would cry in secret, praying to god that you will one day change your ways and stop abusing him, he will never leave even if everyone around him tells him to. He would stay until he's dead or police actually caught you beating him into a pulp, but even then, he would say it was his fault for provoking you -- he would try everything in his power to get you out of trouble.

He isn't like YVes in a sense that he tries to change you, he will just beg pathetically and get fucked over and over without learning his lesson.

If you're dead, he's dead. Simple as. Nothing will get in the way of Monty's quest to be by your side as soon as possible.

thanx 4 reading my stuff anon ur analysis really made my day i love reading yalls thoughts

[golbrocklovely]

Your respond made me question if those “fans” will ever accept Sam’s new partner that is not Katrina (or Colby lol). The way i see it even Malia was more welcomed than Katelyn (although both of them had a cold start). I think nowadays i see more people loving Malia and actually accepting her, than hating on her. Thing that I fear Kateyn would not be ale to achieve if she stayed. And my only reason for that it’s because people felt too attached to Katrina, even people who supposedly “hated her” or claimed she is “using Sam” got used to her just being there and being Sam’s gf that i fear they will never let that go (especially that if i am not wrong Katrina is still single) and every other Sam’s new gf will be compared to Katrina and hated by the fandom, because for them “Katrina and Sam are clearly MADE for each other 😣”. I mean some people still act like she is Sam’s gf or like she is meant to come back, because “it’s her place”. So in that matter i kinda pity Sam.

i mean… that's kinda how i feel tbh lol

(another ramble session from me, sorry in advance)

the sam and kat thing is very odd to me, especially when you see fans say "he'll never do better than her". first and foremost, i get being upset that they ended, sure. but saying that sounds gross to me for some reason. like i think you can lift up kat and say she's gonna have a good life without him and will eventually find love without saying that he somehow is never gonna be happy again. that type of behavior and thought process is so childish. it's not like he was abusive, he broke up with her bc he just couldn't marry her and making her wait even longer would have been worse for their relationship.

while it's clear they aren't on the best of terms anymore, i think hating him (or her, bc god knows she gets hate too) is just weird. you don't have to hate either of them. their relationship didn't end in flames or bc they hate each other. you don't have to make it a versus all the time. there is no winner in this outcome.

as for katelyn and malia… the issue is messy. personally, i think both girls got the short end of the stick. they both got a crazy amount of hate (and malia still does) and i expected part of that to happen eventually when colby got a gf, but i think bc kat wasn't with sam anymore, it became like a shit storm instantly since it wasn't just colby getting a gf.

katelyn had so many lies spread about her in relation to kat it's not even funny. ppl were claiming they were friends before and thus she took sam from her (not true at all. they did possibly follow one another before hand, but their only connection was tess, who wasn't exactly bffls with kat). ppl claimed katelyn talked badly about kat, even tho all the clips i've seen have been not even remotely noteworthy, let alone something to throw hate at her for. i kinda think the reason why katelyn got a lot of hate is bc, as i've said countless times before on here, this fandom has an inability to critique sam. they will do everything in their power to not give him hell even tho they do it all the time to colby. so i weirdly think that bc this fandom couldn't be mad at sam for moving on too quickly from kat or for seemingly """replacing""" her, they chose katelyn to take their anger out on. but even that eventually wore itself thin and for the first time, i actually saw ppl genuinely hate on sam the same way they do colby. which was both refreshing and depressing all at the same time lol

i also think katelyn is just weird enough to be annoying to a lot of ppl, and bc of that, immediately she sucks. i obviously don't feel that way about her, but i can get why some wouldn't love her. in addition, i think she tried a bit too hard to be liked in this fandom and that drove ppl nuts. and she introduced colby to malia, which means she was public enemy #1 for a lot ppl. i mean, i literally heard someone full on dox her during a space on twitter and then call her a whore just bc she's dating sam. while the fandom wasn't in love with kat the moment they met her, they never went this far.

as for malia, i've seen some truly heinous shit said about her. like i'm talking fake dms with nudes (that obviously weren't hers), cheating allegations, fans making fun of her filler and boob job, fans calling her a whore and a slut for merely wanting to show off her body, she has no personality (even tho we've never even heard her speak so…. explain how you just know that), colby chose her over shea (which is just not true at all), the list goes on and on. i think the hate for her has calmed down a lot bc i think 1, she never tries to talk to fans except the occasional reply on a TikTok comment. i honestly think her not trying to befriend the fandom has worked out for her a lot more than katelyn's attempt at being our bestie. and 2, i think that bc colby shows her off (in a way that sam never did katelyn) we can see that colby is happy with malia. unless you're a hater; then bc they pose too much in pictures or *checks notes* never smile with one another that means they are faking it.

i do feel for sam, in a way, too. the thing is, i think out of the two of them, sam is the one that will speak up against the fandom, and he needs to do that. he needs to tell fans to chill the fuck out when it comes to his future significant others. like we cannot have a repeat next time he dates someone. it's just not gonna work out. but i also feel as if snc aren't gonna do that. i love them dearly, and idk who is in their ear telling them to do this (whether it be management or themselves) but them not sticking up for themselves or their gfs rubs me the wrong way. bc that's how you get a fandom like this that thinks hating on their gfs/themselves for a year straight is somehow okay. and god knows if i was dating one of them long term and they were just telling me to ignore the hate or not use an entire social media platform bc that's were a majority the hate was on… i would be going nuclear lol

like, it's either you tell your fans to calm down or i do. and since they ain't my fans, i don't have to be nice to them. so… pick your poison.

[morallygreyyn]

(same anon that sent the crewel ask <33)

CREWEL WOULD ABSOLUTELY DESIGN CLOTHES FOR U TO WEAR AND WOULD LITERALLY BEAM WITH PRIDE AND SMUGNESS ONCE HE SEES U WEARING SMTH HE DESIGNED

he likes it when u bring him lunch and would go 🙄🙄 whenever his students would see and make a fuss but i think deep down he'd like it like yeah my s/o loves me sm and is the best u wish u were me hoe

yk that thing that went on during valentines? like wearing clothes with a certain color that showed ur standing in ur love life? so when a class event was held on that day and the students and even the teachers would wear outfits that had a distinct color code that corresponded to their love life, like:

green - fuck couples

pink - someone's sure thing (sure thing is a slang in my country that basically means that you are that person's one and only, you chose them, they chose you.)

blue - just got broken up with

purple - single not ready to mingle

stuff like that AND CREWEL WOULD WEAR THE COLOR CODING THAT HAD THE SAPPIEST MEANING OR JUST MEANT THAT HE FOUND THE ONE

crewel would silently get giddy when, after ending his class, his s/o would be waiting for him outside the classroom or school

he'd also make u his designated driver bc he thinks u looked hot while driving

crewel @ crowly (smugly): https://www.tiktok.com/@mattheperson/video/7084723341214485806?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7172881399262758401

YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON EVER FOR SENDING ME THESE ILY I AM LIVING I HAVE BEEN REVIVED

imma tackle these one by one bc biittcchh i have tHOUGHTS

-

your entire wardrobe would be FILLED with clothes that he personally designed, made with the finest fabric known to man and crafted to fit your body utter perfection. it's a way crewel shows his love and if you think he's gonna let his alpha wear rags you can think again

-

i can just hear the students whistling, snickering and passing comments and while crewel swiftly silences them, but deep down he’s so so happy and he loves showing off how perfect his alpha is

-

i actually had no idea about this colour thing for vday but you best believe crewel had designed and created the most exquisite pink attire (based on the colour descriptions you sent) and is practically strutting around the school for the entire day looking like a full blown model and proudly flaunting the colour in front of the other staff members mainly trein, i can see him loving to show off in front of trein for some reason lol

he also makes sure you were wearing pink too bc i can imagine him throwing a sophisticated tantrum if you didn’t or if you forgot

-

please if this man saw you leaning against the wall outside his class waiting for him it would take everything in him not to sprint to your side. instead crewel keeps a cool demeanour and strides over, asking if you didn't have anything better to do and if you reply with something cheesy like there was nothing better than him or nothing better than doing him crewel would absolutely be screaming on the inside

-

CREWEL IS 100000% A PASSENGER PRINCESS AND WILL USE YOU AS HIS CHAUFFEUR - IF YOU EVER EXPECT HIM TO DRIVE THEN DON'T

he has many reasons for not wanting to drive when you can do it for him, the main one being that you look ridiculously hot and he loves to watch you

and when you put your hand on his thigh, or on the back of his seat when you reverse

oof

you better expect to be spending quite a significant portion of that evening in the bedroom when you get home if you make it that far - it didn't take you long to catch onto this and now barely a car journey passes without you doing this

-

THAT TIKTOK HAD ME DEAD YOU READ MY MIND

when you get engaged there isn't a moment that passes where crewel doesn't find an opportunity to flash his very expensive ring or bring up the engagement or how his wedding is going to be the most grand occasion that all the queens in history would be jealous of

i can imagine you going somewhere on one of your days off and you're trying to take a picture of the scenery and crewel would just shove his hand with the ring in the way so that's all you can capture instead

"my love, as beautiful as your hand is, i would like a picture of this sunset"

"how else will people know we're engaged?"

"i think the fifty times you mentioned it during lunch was adequate"

*cue crewel's really smug face* "trein was jealous, his eyes could barely leave my ring"

"that's because you shoved it under his nose, my dear"

[royrockstone]

treat it as a prompt to spread your food motifs thoughts, would love to hear some (especially after finale)

ty for askinggg <333

4x10, as told through food:

Caribbean Air Clear was a big win for caroline ed truthers. caroline’s food stuff has always been a stand-in for her failure to parent— she is either resentful of having to, or unable to, nourish them; she gives food in paltry amounts because that’s how she parcels out affection. and the kids find what she does give them inedible. at the Peter Munion Pitch Dinner, she announces that the portions are going to be small, and the only thing that looks like palatable food in her kitchen (the cheese) is reserved for peter— a person she actually chose to put in her life and seems to be happy with.

in contrast to logan, who tested and punished them around food, i read caroline’s inability to nourish them as more unintentional— she just can’t do it because she feels so much bitterness about her family. i also think there’s gender stuff in there— she's not Womanly bc she can’t cook (or, more likely, have someone else cook) properly, she’s like if the wire mother didn’t even give milk. in some ways, she’s sort of girlish rather than womanly (expressing in chiantishire that she wants to like have fun and drink and fuck and gossip rather than settle into being an older woman who’s best days are behind her. and she gets along best with her girliest kid, roman.) it always makes me feel crazyinsane that the one moment In The Light that roman seems to have gotten is laughing with logan about caroline’s inability to feed them (“three muddy trout for six and fill up on mustard”) those kids had no chance to be fed emotionally or physically lol </3 

meal fit for a king! lets talk about it. it is, first of all and foremost, sweet! it’s a time when food is being used playfully and you’re expected to eat rather than expected to abstain. but theres also such a dark side to it imo, as with all affection for the roys. 1. shiv spits in the blender (in a mirror of when she spit in kens notebook in s3) which is meant to be at least a little bit degrading 2. the whole point is kind of degrading (the name sounds like something logan would do — see boar on the floor, dinner for winners and mole in the hole from the script books) make kendall eat something disgusting, not as a test per se, but as a way of humbling him just a little. food is still lowkey a weapon even when it’s sweet and silly. (also theres some kendall jesus motif— roman crowns him but in a way that’s mocking etc) 3. it’s sweet specifically because the foods are a) unwanted— the roy kids have been starved, of affection and literally of food, and they’re making something genuinely nice with scraps and b) not luxurious— it’s not ortolan or kendalls endive salad, it’s bread ends and cocoa powder. 

there was an interesting moment that mirrored my 4x08 food lore thoughts— ken offers roman rum punch when he’s still trying to woo his board vote against shiv, and roman ignores the punch, pours himself a shot, then grabs a beer. kendall is the one who locked him in a cage and made him eat cake, he’s the reason they had to eat roast chicken, roman experiences his brother as always trying to subordinate him by controlling what he consumes (which is obv a corollary to trying to control him in business.)

on the less thematic/more personally self-serving ed headcanon side of things, nothing has contradicted my hc that roman hasn’t eaten solid food since logan died. all he does is lick Peter’s Special Cheese, drink coffee (sleep deprivation won succession, actually), and drink alcohol. we see roman eat cake at connors rehearsal dinner, pre-logan death and during what he thought was a secure time in the sibling alliance, then never again. his habit of snacking on little bits of fruit and desserts has totally disappeared. tho it's not shown, i could see him eating the night of the election when he realized he won at something and was expecting to crush it at the funeral the next day. if hes becoming logan, hes allowed to eat. but the second he flames out at the funeral and realizes he is, in fact, still a dead man walking, he’d go back to not eating. trying to please the dad in his head, or to express his essential deadness/emptiness without his dad. 

ofc, we don't rlly see the other siblings eat, either (i have laser-focused Roman ED vision so something might have slipped past me. does shiv taste the breakfast tom brings her?) notably, no one ate at the Funeral Planning Committee breakfast, they don’t eat at the tailgate im p sure, i don’t think anyone touched the food at the Munion Pitch Dinner. (tbh concerned for shiv’s fetus re: having adequate calories.) i think part of it is grief and part of it is collective family Disorder and part of it is the good old competitive strong dog weak dog stuff.

i made a joke that roman is going to end up like caroline, but i kind of meant it? i can see him having no food in his house, cocktail in hand, snugly burying himself some place out of the way and fucking around with mild self-destruction for the rest of his life. (altho rather than a failhusband i think he’d try to replace logan yet again and end up with a partner who was pretty brutish or domineering) 

ty again!