#but so much comfort afterwards
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
lenalee-academy · 4 months ago
Text
Okay so I know I’ve been mentioning another collab Avengers fic and we are still working on the next Big One. In the meantime my sister has convinced me that I should post mine. Even though it’s not finished either and I had no plans to share it.
I started writing it because I wanted some Loki and Tony friendship. And while building up to that things got a bit carried away and it’s sort of an end game fix it now….so there’s that. If you’re interested check it out and let me know what you think!
8 notes · View notes
inkskinned · 1 year ago
Text
as we enter the start of a semester and the dreaded Hour of Making Friends us upon us... if ur ever at a loss for what to say in one of those weird social situations where you only vaguely-know people, one of my favorite questions to ask is "what is your favorite food crime." a food crime is like the food combination that you love that other people find revolting. press them to take it further than pineapple on pizza, that's rote. food crimes is a good topic that has many benefits as it turns out all people are degenerates and also it will give you some cool ideas to try out later in the privacy of your own degenerate kitchen
the other good thing to ask is "okay but has anyone here ever been someplace haunted" bc it turns out if you ask most people directly they don't believe in ghosts, but many people are like "oh yeah i lived in a haunted house. ghosts aren't real tho"
#my food crime is that i regularly make a “pasta and tuna” situation that has somehow gotten even more evil and degenerate over time.#it is a ''white wine reduction'' (it's just white wine and garlic powder & seasoning)#and tuna from a can.#and plain pasta.#if i have the spoons i will actually chop garlic for it but this tends to be my comfort food for a REALLY bad day#bc its super easy to make:#boil pasta. drain. put into bowl for later. into same pot u used for pasta.#put tuna (with oil/water from can). let fry a little for like 2-3 min. put in whatever amount of wine. season to taste.#the tuna will get a little crisp on it which is nice. important side note:#this began as a Bolognese sauce.#and one day i had to sub for tuna. i know. not ideal. i cried about it too.#somehow over time it is now its own little evil thing. i would never make someone else eat it. it is beautiful.#but yeah i don't even stir the pasta in afterwards i just slap pasta into serving bowl#slap this ''''''sauce'''''''' on top#molto bene#(i really can cook fairly well btw. this is a food crime. not a suggestion of skill or ability)#(i LOVE baking but when i cook for myself. the autism is obvious. bc i just don't understand the point of most of the steps)#(.... i can just eat the deli meat out of the bag. it is protein. i don't even have to like it. i just have to eat enough calories.)#(also i used to cook MUCH more before this apartment which is so small that i can stretch my arms out and overreach the counter length.)#(.... i'm 5.2. so.)
2K notes · View notes
smallmightsupremacy · 1 year ago
Text
Ok but I'm obsessed with the idea of Bakugou and Deku being awkward around each other after the war because they're only just becoming friends again
1K notes · View notes
pekoeboo · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
finally able to call these sketches done. they've been sitting in my WIP folder since the beginning of the year and I only just now got them to a point where I think they're decent enough to post. so here's some Pain for y'all ;A;
initially, I was gonna post these alongside the other Ravenwood arts that were based on a story arc I've mentioned before, where an undead/possessed Mel ended up hurting everyone. there's a few other related pieces I posted already that are linked in this post, for anyone curious about this whole thing.
these sketches in particular tho are based on a moment when the fake Mel ended up attacking Khalan directly - really preying on his deep-rooted trauma involving a father figure acting violent towards him :c pretty messed up stuff, honestly. I was mostly using this art to practice with drawing tears and blood/injuries - the latter of which I've never really been good at drawing so I wanna get better at it.
rip Khalan tho he really really did not deserve any of what happened to him here;;; ugh my boy. my precious baby boy 😭
please do not repost. also on deviantart
23 notes · View notes
lunaticus · 4 months ago
Text
long rant about w7 closure ahead :)))
it was such a damn poor decision by oda to have usopp rejoin after sunny's reveal and franky's recruitment im so damn mad about it
why have usopp eavesdropping during the scene with garp? it had absolutely no narrative value and was awkward as fuck
why have usopp joining the after-party as sogeking? this is pretty fucked up on so many levels (that boy really thought *usopp* didn't have the right to be there) but we know oda loves that after battle celebration with everyone and he had to force usopp into it somehow
i hate hate hate that usopp's not part when sunny was revealed i hate it so fucking much
almost as much as not having him part of franky's recruitment like, fuck, look at this from luffy's perspective: usopp wasn't on enies lobby and has never really bonded/made up with franky, the last time luffy knows usopp's met franky was when franky and the others beat usopp up and despite that, luffy agreed with zoro that usopp needs to step up and come back to them when they suddenly have franky with them, like fuck, luffy didn't think at all huh? if usopp hadn't been on enies lobby, he definitely wouldn't have made the first move and apologized and i wouldn't have blamed him
but at the same time, i can see it clearer than ever why zoro demanded that apology; usopp had been an re-accepted part of the crew during and at the end of enies lobby, he stood proud and without his mask with them and no one would have rejected him or demanded an apology in that moment, but usopp got cold feet and hid again, he didn't claim sogeking's achievements as his own as he should have done, and i think that's why zoro couldn't act like nothing happened, those cold feet showed a lack of trust from usopp to the crew that zoro couldn't accept
but those fucking cold feet are so engraved into usopp's being, he already has abandonment issues and is so afraid to be rejected, he developed a different persona because he fucking thought they wouldn't allow him to save robin with them, and he had to make up stories that the crew still likes and misses him, how fucking sad is that, lying is his coping mechanism, how can anyone take it literally?? he thinks they wouldn't take him back no matter what, so all he can do is lie and try to act unaffected when he is anything but
but then again, i could have taken zoro's words way better if they had some kind of foreshadowing, dropped like this it really had been out of nowhere, there had been no objections to usopp joining them on enies lobby and suddenly there are conditions to take him back? conditions usopp doesn't know about? conditions that are nearly impossible to meet by their notoriously lying sniper? yeah what a mature declaration, zoro, look who's actually playing pirates....... :)
i hate the implication that usopp threw a tantrum and acted childish so fucking much!!! being emotionally hurt like he had been is valid, yes lashing out wasn't the best thing to do but it was understandable in his situation, and luffy handled the whole situation just as poorly, and i do appreciate that even zoro said it doesn't matter who was right or wrong, if someone was right or wrong at all (there wasn't, everyone was hurting)
and now after finally rewatching the apology scene, my major problem with it is that usopp didn't just apologize, it's that he said he was wrong, when again hurt feelings aren't wrong, and i very much appreciate luffy's reaction to usopp's words, he is so taken aback, and i feel like it's because usopp's groveling and breaking down like that, that wasn't what he wanted and had expected from usopp, but usopp really shows his true deepest fears only in moments of high distress, and i think it was only in that moment that it really hit luffy that usopp meant every word of how inferior he felt within the crew, nobody wanted usopp to beg and grovel, but he did because he thought it was his last and only chance
and you know what i also hate? that oda opted out of taking responsibility of the emotional impact w7 had on everyone and have everyone immediately acts as if nothing had ever happened, but yeah it's a shounen and men don't talk about their feelings i get it...... :)))
can you image how perfect it would have been if usopp had taken the sogeking mask off on merry's last sail? that boy didn't need to be humbled, that boy needed to claim his achievements as his own and have trust that his friends love him as he is, that would have been some great character growth, he needed that confidence boost and not to grovel in despair while he thought he was left behind for good (again)
i fucking hate that oda looked at usopp and saw a boy that was blinded by pride and needed to get off his high horse when he wrote an anxious boy with abandonment issues
20 notes · View notes
swallowedabug · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
KILLJOYS 5.01 (2019)
54 notes · View notes
lightasthesun · 7 months ago
Text
just wanted to thank everyone that's been encouraging me or offering some kind of support the last few times I talked about getting a cane... because I went and got one today and I didn't think it would make that much of a difference. I underestimated how much it would change for me.
So thank you <33
15 notes · View notes
vargaslovinghours · 1 year ago
Text
Vargas IX, now with touch screen capabilities! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8)
Tumblr media
That’s what it says on the tin....right?
Tumblr media
And that’s what we like about him
Tumblr media
He wins Rudest, 20th year in a row!
Tumblr media
No Russian endearments, this is bullying >:0
Tumblr media
Can you tell I was out and about lol, all I had were kids menu crayons and he still turned out cute <3
Tumblr media
Their bunnies! It really is lucky that their colours are easy to find in crayons haha
Tumblr media
Some vent :( They are always good for it ♥
Tumblr media
Don’t want closeness, the hurt is too overwhelming to even touch
Tumblr media
Always bothering him when he’s trying to sleep
Tumblr media
That could be taken a lot of different ways honestly. Edgar just so done haha
Tumblr media
Ahh, that way ♪ I like how the blanket pulled over his head turned out haha, that won’t muffle him at all!
Tumblr media
Return of the Style Challenge! An Edgar off the heels of my KoiBo studies, extra hair floof ♫
Tumblr media
A quick and silly Fairy!Edgar as a spacefiller; had a glimpse of an AU idea after rewatching Ferngully lol, Zak looks a bit like Jake I think
Tumblr media
I actually doodled this one last year but didn’t scan it in until recently :0 - I’d planned to turn it into a minicomic but the page got away from me and turned into something else unrelated haha
Uh oh, Nny brainrot, here it comes
Tumblr media
As if he would be worried~
Tumblr media
God can’t save me now ♪ Your Boyfriend gives me so many Nny ideas, how dare <3 This song was already Edgar’s (so much) but now it’s his too! How dare!!
Tumblr media
More ideas from that^ video, what’s a bit of casual dismemberment intention among friends
Tumblr media
That felt-tip makes him twitchy
Tumblr media
Uh oh
Tumblr media
His nails are so sharp he barely needs to grip to pierce flesh
Tumblr media
That was very on-purpose though. His harsh word bubbles really are fun to draw, like they're bolted and nailed together ♪
Tumblr media
Poor Edgar :( Not that this would've ended well for him either way, but it's not like he was trying to make it worse! Though, this is probably better, maybe
Tumblr media
Ew, gross >:|
Tumblr media
Probably nothing that would de-escalate, so. No.
Tumblr media
Kinda free-bleeding over here, ow, please stop :(
Tumblr media
Oddly gentle touch, considering the literal blood on his hands
Tumblr media
Just gonna lightly dig around in your arm, don't worry about it. He's really barely touching him, blood giving his fingertips a smooth glide
Tumblr media
He tapped back into his mind and got a bit stuck there, words kinda sorta. Surprisingly it’s not that comforting!
Tumblr media
Scriabin is not having a fun day :( Edgar, no, stop excusing him!
Tumblr media
"Why did I do that??" Maybe something to do with a waste-lock? :3c
Tumblr media
Haha, as soon as they're directly out of danger, Scriabin's right back to sassing him, not so scared or small now huh
Tumblr media
"Since you have a habit of collecting scars from him. Stop that, by the way."
Tumblr media
Drawing his arm bandaged was just too fun! Bleeding through it, poor lad <3
Tumblr media
More missing words, he meant to ask "What are you reading?" but Edgar told him anyway haha. Founder of the modern-day emoticon!
Tumblr media
Sad Edgar for some comfort doodles <3 Seems backwards sometimes lol, but if it works!
Tumblr media
"Pay attention to me instead of whatever's making you upset." Poor thing, even Scriabin just coming up to him makes him jump
Tumblr media
Kisses <3 I really like the one of Edgar trying to dodge him hehe, no kiss! Yes kiss
Tumblr media
Always a surprise, somehow
Tumblr media
Something nice?? Who is this??? It was all a trick and ploy, don't flatter yourself >:0
Tumblr media
Haha, the original Extremely scuffed doodle for this year's personal Vargasversary - as long as Edgar's squished, it all works out!
Tumblr media
Wanted to draw Edgar as a pierrot clown out of the blue, he looks so cute! The big fluffy buttons and the floofy collar and eye makeup :D Cute!!
Tumblr media
He's no simple clown! He's an complete comedy routine, straightman and fool in one!
Tumblr media
But I mean, what does that say towards Scriabin's taste lol, he's already confirmed morosexual so ♪
Back to the Nnyspam, don't mind me
Tumblr media
A reasonable request, he's skin and bones anyhow
Tumblr media
A reasonable reply! Not an opposition exactly, just would prefer to know what to expect
Tumblr media
As much as I can get to Poor Nny haha, he’s just so confused. "How did I get here." Meanwhile, Edgar tries really hard to not get his hopes up lol
Tumblr media
Chatting about the weird exchange with Scriabin later - is this something they experienced together and are just talking about now, or did he go to Nny's alone?? Doesn't matter, Scriabin's gonna monologue about it
Tumblr media
Haha, Edgar having some kind of Awakening thanks to Nny, again
Tumblr media
He's always talking
Tumblr media
More blobs! Scriablobin being annoying, of course <3
Tumblr media
Went through a Tamagotchi-interest and decided to try and make some 32x32 resolution lads <3 Would take care of them, even if we all know Scriabin would beep even when he doesn’t need anything, he’d definitely run on the Devilgotchi OS lol
Tumblr media
Back to the crying-kissing idea, set it down and picked it back up. Both just exchanging mini-barbs, sweet-nothings laced in thorns <3
Tumblr media
Hehe they turned out so cute here ♥ Tastes like [soggy bread] and [affection]
Tumblr media
An odd one of Edgar telling Scriabin off and manhandling him. Though maybe the latter isn’t as odd haha
Tumblr media
I just wanted to doodle Edgar swearing at him haha. What would get him so riled to do so!
Tumblr media
Family time, snuggles on the couch <3 Todd's completely enraptured by the glow of the television screen, ignoring cuddle time
Tumblr media
*You hear the sound of canoodling in the background
Tumblr media
Got a little too loud and got shut down haha
Tumblr media
What happened?? Could've sworn they were just all over each other! That was the problem!
Welp, there's February through May again :) It's an ever-slowing momentum, but dang if it wasn't a powerful initial force lol
#💟#Doodles#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#Nny#Todd#Shmee#Sketchdump#Blood#It's a very Edgar-heavy sketchdump this time! I mean. Other than how much Nny appears there's just so much Nny#So look out for that - especially on the blood front lol#Other warnings uhhh mostly just Nny weirdness - no it's not a vore thing don't look at me like that#Little bit of vent - And the usual Edgar/Scriabin silliness <3#There's also like a Bunch more minicomics this time and I actually edited them seperately! Woah!#The big Nny one in the middle is a complete thought - though I would love to return to Scriabin sassing Edgar when he feels safe haha#The kiss one still has some missing panels - it was split into two sections for what I think are interesting reasons#The initial inspiration came from when I woke up horribly anxious for some reason and y'know - they're comfort characters so#But I couldn't touch a thought with them other than Scriabin being gentle and comforting Edgar it was extremely strange#Afterwards I was fine! But for a moment that's all I could handle so I gave it to Edgar lol#Lots of other silliness ♪ I actually really love clown motifs but only if they're Pierrot lol Pierrot is perfect!#And then the Gotchi stuff hhhhh <3 <3 Yes I know 32x32 isn't the correct resolution shhh look don't worry about it#I have since learned as I've delved deeper into the fixation lol - and I got myself an actual Devilgotch <3 <3 <3 I'm so excited about it <#Absolutely going to be thinking of Scriabin when it prank-beeps at me lol#Oh yeah and for Edgar swearing at Scriabin? I made an initial panel but it was a little too vague :P#It's You Can't Live Like This themed if that's any indication except Scriabin's being a self-destructive brat#So y'know - the usual lol#Finishing off with more silliness - it's been a very gentle last several months (other than the Nnyspam shh) lots of silly soft ideas :)#Cute things abound ♪
83 notes · View notes
dairyfreenugget · 7 months ago
Text
(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No#the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
11 notes · View notes
dyk3pup · 6 months ago
Text
omo concepts that i can’t stop thinking abt 🩷
Tumblr media Tumblr media
14 notes · View notes
sysig · 8 months ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#The Captain#Hhhhhh <3#I am once again ''Who am I without you'' - ZEX relies on Zelnick to affirm who he himself is! His Captain is a huge comfort!#It's the codependency for me <3#The way Zelnick comforts him is so sweet ;; He can be quite attentive! When he chooses to be hehe#He's hesitant and concerned but overcomes it to give ZEX what he needs in the moment ahh he's deserving of being a leader ♥#Like covering his eye for him - and repeating back his greeting! ;;;; How many times has ZEX introduced himself that now it's repeated back#How many times has he said those exact words so confidently that Zelnick can repeat it back to him#So confident in his identity until it's all brought into question - too many pieces that align Just So to know one way or anything!#How would his human love know so many details - but such specific details are concerning as well! What's real and what's not!#What's experienced and what's mentally real - or false! There's so many tricky mental traps set agh it's so good <3#It's so interesting how their character flaws interact with their self-assuredness hehe <3 Zelnick is brash and bold!#ZEX is careful and prideful - so which takes a harder hit in matters of the mind? ZEX is at a disadvantage in Max's body of course#Hghh there's so much about this scene that's so good tho ah#ZEX's worries of his own level of self-delusion bleeding out into accidentally telling lies - he's quite honest! Mostly ♪#But here it's all just deep concern - not of Trying to manipulate but being so far gone that he can't Help but do so! Being out of control!#Of course that would be very scary for him :( And of lying to himself? The kind of thing that's wholly repulsive to him </3#Ughhh this scene breaks my heart because they really love each other and ZEX wants him and needs him but I know what will happen ;;#At least they're able to give each other a bit of comfort in the moment - whether it's true or not (it is true haha) the contrast helps#Even in Max's body and even unsure of himself getting to hold his human - this human - feels real and right <3#He's still worried afterwards of course - takes something convincing to pull him out of it! - and Zelnick continues to comfort him <3#I love palm kisses as well ugh they're so sweet ;; <3 What a lovely way to show his solidarity! Hehe ♥
10 notes · View notes
lerios · 12 days ago
Text
the first 5 seconds of time war 2
narvin voiceover: this is how the world ends 😔
me, leela, the doctor, any non time lord that's ever been to Gallifrey:
Tumblr media
#get fucked futuristic 18th century british facism planet#Fs in chat for narvin still having at least some of the time lord supremacist imperialist brainworms though#i am Very intrigued as to how the most religious man on gallifrey is going to take Gallifreyan Jesus coming back to life#especially given the fact that narvin seems to have the capacity for genuinely complex thoughts and ethical dilemas now - even (i think) in#regards to gallifreyan civil religion#it must be so tempting to fall right back into the comfort and simplicity of faith (or zealotry if you'd rather)#i feel like big finish is going to fumble this#but yeah no i would love to see more consideration of narvin's shattering faith (that he absolutely does not consider to be faith)#and how that affects his decision making#how much is genuine belief and how much is WANTING to still believe#like come ON‚ narvin is currently getting deprogammed from military imperialist white man's burden catholicism#HOW IS THAT NOT MORE OF A FOCUS?#or am i going mad here‚ like‚ i assumed the faith/religion/cult (up to interpretation) angle of gallifrey was intentional#but they haven't really done much with it :/#anyway i need to write fobwatched 1800s catholic cardinal narvin‚ i've been thinking about that for months#narvin would be fucking mortified afterward about 'indulging in primitive supersition'‚ but he wouldn't have actually sounded much differen#swap 'rassilon' for jesus and 'president' for pope. same shit#gallifrey#narvin
3 notes · View notes
fierykitten2 · 1 month ago
Text
Headcanon: *I had an explanation here but I didn’t seem to know what I was talking about and I was waffling* the events of F-Zero GX (including Story Mode) occurred in between the second and third Smashes and he’s had to work around hiding his powers since then (I headcanon occasionally he grows massive falcon wings because of that belt) and Mewtwo helped starting with its return half way through the fourth Smash (given it’s the only fighter to know about this due to its Psychic powers) and the events of Metroid Dread occurred during the fifth Smash and once Samus returned she had a similar deal with her Metroid DNA (which still tries to take over every once in a while). The two of them now confide in each other more than ever and Mewtwo has taught Falcon how to tame Samus’s Metroid DNA every time it tries to take over
3 notes · View notes
dandyshucks · 6 months ago
Text
been coping with [gestures vaguely at family] by writing a little thing in my notes app of Guz and I having an exhaustion-fueled and stress-fueled argument and how we would handle that because good golly it is definitely better than how this family handles it lmao at the very least it would not be Constant Griping :')))
4 notes · View notes
lustbcrne · 2 months ago
Text
There are times when Kaeya does deliberately do or say things to genuinely aggravate someone he is sleeping with, all with the very intention of having them really put him through the ringer, particularly when he’s extremely upset about something or the ache in his body is beyond a tolerable level and he desperately wants something to distract him from it
#//Less than pleasant hc time; he we go#hc; kaeya#//In the latter case; it is v counter-productive#//Bc afterward he has to deal with the chronic pain AND then the sex injuries they’d inflicted upon him#//But in the moment; he’d be happy to get knocked around just to focus on the pain from that instead#//He rlly does try to avoid this with genuine partners of his; bc they don’t deserve to be taunted into hurting him like this#//Esp if they are the type to feel guilty abt it; to blame themself for the aftermath; even if he was the sole cause#//But there are times the bad habit rears its head; even with his best efforts to avoid it#//His acting flirty one moment then almost ornery and spiteful with the same inflection is a decent sign at it#//Its intent to stir up trouble; while making the person more & more aggravated & keeping an innocent front himself#//Goading them into being the angrier party; into acting rashly and lashing out in ways he KNOWS will hurt him#//Theres meaner things like taunting how good they are/that he’s feeling bored. Also mentioning sb else’s name during & doubling down if it#got him a particularly angry reaction he’d been ACHING to provoke out of them. And so much more. He’s terribly creative when this desperate#//Again; its not usually smth that usually happens with definite partners; he tries to internalize things more for them#//But yeah; sometimes things w contacts of his get Messy at the flip of his mood. & he RLLY ends up paying the price for it#//Emotionally; he tends to feel absolutely awful in the end; mired with guilt & esp the Drop from all the adrenaline spent before#//Physically; he does feel more relaxed—running so high on adrenaline among other things that. But then there’s also PAIN#//&not the good comforting or pleasurable kind; just PAIN he’ll be tentative to even get treated at the church bc theyll ask Questions#//These provocations tend to actually be a secondary resort—he tends to ASK ppl to knock him around on purpose/no restraint beforehand#//If they cooperate; he’ll keep encouraging to the point of injury and then some; let them get too caught up to realize til too late#//If not; THEN he breaks out all this to provoke them into hurting him anyways#self harm mention tw#//Bc this is a v destructive behavior of his#//It is no longer such a worry if he and his partner have ample trust and communication tho#//Bc with sb like that; he can actually work through shit much more healthily#//And if they are still down to knock him around for physical needs fulfillment; rather than use grounding pressure or smth#//At least he will be much safer in their hands than in that of sb who doesn’t have his wellbeing at the forefront of their mind
5 notes · View notes
thethingything · 7 months ago
Text
finally processing that we're probably gonna have to have these teeth removed with either sedation or general anaesthetic and unfortunately I have a phobia of both of these to the point where just thinking about it gives us panic attacks and I genuinely don't know what to do because I absolutely want to avoid this at all costs but we also might not have any other option
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#there is no amount of comfort or reassurance that can make me feel okay being sedated#like it's not even that I'm scared of side effects or risks or anything#I just can't even begin to express how much I absolutely do not want someone giving me a drug that's going to make me drowsy and incoherent#and also not remember anything afterwards#the premise of a stranger giving me a drug that's going to fuck up my ability to process anything or remember any of what happened#feels so incredibly violating and awful#like yes it's a medical context. yes I know it's so they can do the treatment. yes I know I'm supposed to trust them or whatever#but our brain doesn't process it like that. it's a stranger drugging you. that's terrifying regardless of the context#and given how much medical trauma we have and how awful some medical professionals have been to us#it happening in a medical context actually makes me feel worse#once again I'm not even necessarily scared of anything bad happening#even if you could absolutely guarantee that nothing bad would happen I would not be okay with it in the slightest#it's specifically the idea of my consciousness not being under my control#I take co-codamol for pain and that can make me drowsy and incoherent and fuck up my memory#but that's me choosing when to take it and how much to take and being able to stay away from people if I feel like I need to#and being able to make notes about what I've done and stuff like that#and there's a huge difference between that and being in a clinic having a procedure where you can't just get up and leave#and someone else is administering the meds and choosing the dosage and you're not the one in control of this situation#this makes me sound like a control freak and yeah I probably am#but that's kind of what haappens when you've had your bodily autonomy violated so many times by so many people
5 notes · View notes