#but people say these things bc they expect them to change

[mcytegg]

as much as i Hated cringeduos relationship pre atlas, i do respect that derap does genuinely care abt pangi deeply. like idk if people realize that the reason derap was so upset at subz was specifically bc he killed pangi.

like zam may have been unsettled by subz suddenly killing a peaceful player in front of him in general idk, but for derap i am almost certain that he was upset bc subz killed pangi specifically bc i garuntee u he wouldnt have cared even a bit if it was like kab, 4c, woogie, jepexx, etc unless zam showed he cared. in fact, caring for pangi is the only thing derap seems to be firm on and smt he wont change regardless of zams opinion on the matter bc pangi is one of the very few people he wants to protect on the server

one of his biggest reasons for not wanting to team w pangi was bc he knows pangi is a peaceful player who doesnt want to fight, so he didnt want to drag pangi into conflicts that would only end up w him suffering or dying for simply being associated w derap. he seemed to completely stop trusting ash, one of two people he called a day 1, the Moment he found out ash tried to kill pangi. like yes the trust was already faltering bc ash lied to him for no reason but he still wanted to talk to him and figure things out before making his decision but that went out the window when he found out abt the pangi thing.

and like as weird as it was of derap to invite pangi (repeatedly btw) to zaun despite already agreeing w zam that they wouldnt be inviting anyone and to lie saying he never invited pangi, it wasnt solely to make mapicc look bad or to make zaun look better. its also bc he is dogshit at communicating his own desires and needs, and i dont think he Wanted to admit that he disagreed w zam. that he wanted to invite pangi to zaun, that he WANTS pangi to be w him. to be with them.

which is like, it ties into deraps deeper issues w insecurity and struggles w direct communication despite scolding zam for his struggles w it bc he acts like he is selfish nd that he has these expectations of zam but he always puts zams opinions and wants above his own at the end of the day. always. if he had ASKED, if he'd just talked to zam and expressed how much it meant to him to have pangi at zaun, zam would have been fine w it!! he doesnt seem aware of just how close derap is w pangi past knowing pangi is one of three people derap trusts entirely, but he cares for derap and i think he wouldve accepted it if derap truly expressed that he wants pangi there.

but he didnt. he lied. bc hes scared to ask for what he wants, hes scared that asking for anything from zam in a direct way will drive him away and w him already feeling like he cant possibly have a place next to zam when zam already has someone he seems to want by his side, hes doing what he thinks he "needs" to in order to stay w zam as long as he can even if he feels like zam leaving him is inevitable.

and honestly i can only see this being solved if zam is able to notice and talk abt it w him bc derap will never do it himself. even before zam and atlas, his manipulative and unfair way of treating pangi was a result of his own refusal to communicate bc him requiring pangi to prove himself trustworthy time and time again in increasingly drastic ways was him wanting to continue clinging to pangi but struggling to do so w his paranoia, trust issues, and general insecurity. bc no!! asking someone for hearts to prove their trust is Not communication. confronting them and accusing them of not caring abt u nd making them prove their care so many times before u believe they actually do is not communcation 😭

[thenighttimeparadise]

The fact for most people, having acrylic nails, wearing make up, doing your hair, doing skin care, wearing skirts/dresses, wearing heels, ect. is considered feminine and things women biologically want/need to do or should do because it's "feminine" is crazy to me.

Let's unpack this.

So... acrylic nails. Putting shit on your nails to make them longer/ more colourful. Why might this be seen as "feminine"? Females usually have longer, thinner fingers, which longer nail help make the appearance of, women usually biologically have longer nails like they have longer hair, and they're expected to care more about their appearance. Why don't these things actually explain this phenomenon? Long fingers could be considered attractive for both men and women, they are attractive for women mainly because they look dainty and bc subconsciously society want women to spend more time on their looks so when you see a women with longer, painted nails it looks right bc she spent time and money to be feminine and to look "right" (society wants women to suffer, whether you admit it or not, the idea of femininity is to hate yourself quietly, I can expand on that if you'd like). Also, while females have longer nails and hair biologically (on average and on a pretty small amount) men also biologically grow hair and nails. Like, men used to have shoulder length hair and women had hair to their waist. The fact men have shorter hair now is bc of the army. Fight me on this. If this was according to biology it would masculine to have hair to your shoulders or lower back and somewhat longer nails, but it's not. My point here isn't to say that it's untrue that female biologically have longer hair and nails, but that these standards can change according to socialization, and we did change them for men, so much so that we won't consider some biologically masculine stuff masculine. Bc it's mostly socialization. The idea that women are the prettier sex, even as an empowering thing, is simply incorrect, and I do want y'all to understand that if we wanted to decide males are the beautiful sex we could change that in our minds in like one generation.

The wearing heels/dresses/skirts is just pure bullshit, forgive me for the way I'm wording this but these are pieces of a fabric, and while one can argue dresses and skirts could feminine to accentuate the "female silhouette" as in making the body look more curvy, I want to remind you that you're very subjective and what you're attracted to and what you find beauty in is about 76% due to socialization. I promise you if you were born 100 years ago you'd have different opinions about what is and isn't attractive. Sure some stuff will remain, like being hygienic, having clear skin and straight teeth and not being overly obese or thin, since these things are just signs of being unhealthy (even though some people don't care about these things I just mean generally speaking in the way our body and brain processes things), so many other things you might think are attractive for you bc of biology, such as facial features, height, body type (you can be as fertile without having small waist as someone with tiny waist, it's about having breasts and body hair [signs of fertility and sexual maturity] And while both of those aren't sexual [while breasts are a sign of fertility that doesn't mean they're inherently sexual just like beards are a sign of sexual maturity but they aren't inherently sexual] Yk what that raises the question of what is inherently sexual and I have an answer, tell me/write an ask about it if you wanna know but ANYWAY beauty changes over the years so being an hourglass figure isn't necessarily the 'objectively' most attractive a women can look.

[tangents-within-tangents]

Ugh, yes! Lol I should try to find that journal when I get back from holiday stuff, bc I'm pretty sure I wrote about that too (and this was pre self-discovery of my aspec identities lol).

I don't want to date someone who would take me away from my friends, in fact I'd like them to get along with and be friends with my friends. And vice versa, I don't want to take them away from their friends either. I think it's totally possible to prioritize while still having a healthy balance. It's completely socially acceptable, or even expected, that you will maintain your familial bonds when you are in a romantic relationship, so why not your friendships? Like if getting married to someone makes them a part of your family, why can't dating someone make them a part of your friends? (with boundaries as needed ofc)

And of course everyone has their own needs and preferences and stuff, but I think generally it's important to have a full social circle. You can't really put all your social needs onto one person. My sister had all this drama in her friend group when two of her friends got married and isolated themselves, then lashed out bc they were lonely. Friend of mine got married and still seeks me out all the time (bless!) bc it's affects her in the opposite direction, like people think she doesn't need friends or doesn't want to hang out just bc she's married now. My parents say the same thing happened to them, so I guess this has been a thing for awhile. And what about my other friend whose husband got deployed overseas a few months after their wedding? What's she supposed to do?

And like not to jump to extremes or anything, but there's a reason why abusive/toxic people isolate their SO's. But it can also happen with relationships that aren't abusive, and can similarly have a negative impact. My roommate/best friend basically disappeared when she started dating someone, and when he left her at the altar she ended up moving back home and finished the semester online. Bc she did everything and went everywhere with him and only him, so everything hurt her now. (And like... by the end of the year she was married to someone else and the only time I heard from her is when she asked me to pet sit -_-)

But anyway, to what you said about it being a turn off for relationships. It's interesting bc for me it actually ended up kinda wrapping around to the opposite. Like I have this whole thing™ where due to losing friends to relationships/marriage, as well as just time and proximity, it's become really hard to fully invest myself in friendships even though I love and cherish and crave those close bonds. I just really struggle with that impermanence, uncertainty, and lack of reciprocation (especially with cases like the above-mentioned best friend, bc I always thought she felt the same about me and that we both would strive to maintain contact even when we eventually got married and moved away). So I kinda landed on this realization of like, is that the appeal of marriage for me? Is that the solution? Do I want to get married just so I can have a friend who I (ideally) won't ever lose because they will stay with me through life changes and will be just as dedicated to me as I am to them?' (but then there's all the romance and dating hassle you have to go through to get to that, which is even harder as a demiro bc it takes awhile and real specific circumstances for me to feel that way about anyone, just for them to possibly end up not being a good match anyway, esp with added compatibility complications from being ace lol rippp the struggle is real)

I need a fellow aroace friend to complain romance about because how the hell do I explain to an alloromantic that I'm absolutely jealous because my best friend has been stolen from me by her current boyfriend without sounding like a selfish bitch

[bandzboy]

this made me think about how stray kids always did music that they enjoy and never really gave a damn about what people had to say about it and never changed in terms of that mentality when it comes to making music and it makes me so happy to see a group so proud of their identity! cr.

[strawberrycamel]

hey psst c'mere... no a little closer... a little closer- there we go

Loop lips are part of a racist caricature of Black people. Stop drawing Black characters with loop lips. I don't care how they look in canon, it's racist.

okay that's all you can go

[cheriafreya]

Penacony's 2.0-2.2 patches: genuinely HSR's peak, full of unforgettable moments. I still get chills watching the cutscenes and some of them still make me cry like the first day.

Penacony's 2.3, 2.6 and 2.7 patches:

[theprinceandthewitch]

I know I've talked abt this to death, but I still can't get over how Lumity and Huntlow shippers tried to claim Caleb and Evelyn as their own.

Even though Hunter is literally a clone of Caleb and he has the same exact character arc Caleb had. And Willow doesn't fill in the role of "a witch from another world who lured Philip's brother away from him" like Luz does.

I will never quite get over what Huntlows and Lumitys tried to do, because it is the most audacious example of biphobia I've ever seen in a fandom space.

People know on some level, Luz likes princes - it's something that is brought up twice. Luz goes on a quest with a prince and she writes a story where her self-insert kisses a prince. And they're also aware that Luz and Hunter fit the roles of Caleb and Evelyn to a tee. But something in them just can't handle it - the possibility of a bisexual woman writing a story where the bisexual girl has undeniable romantic subtext with a boy is disgusting to them.

Luz is bisexual, but she can't actually be bisexual because most people in LGBTQ+ spaces don't view bisexuality as a legitimate sexuality. People legit see Luz breaking up with her girlfriend to date a boy as an example of homophobia and the writers wanting "to turn her straight." Luz's bisexuality is only valid if she dates girls and is still dating a girl by the time the story ends. Basically bisexuality is only valid if the bisexual "chooses to be gay" because if they don't, then they were always ''straight'' and should be casted out from their own community. It doesn't matter that Hunter is bisexual and that m/f pairings between two bisexuals are non existent in media. Because Hunter and Luz would "look straight" if they started to date, it renders this important and vital bisexual representation as "straight representation." Because for some reason, people have it in their heads that straight people can relate to the bisexual experience and vice versa.

But yeah, the kneejerk fear and hatred that the Caleb/Evelyn = Lunter parallels invoke in people would be funny if it wasn't downright biphobic lol

[francy-sketches]

I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life

[vampiresuns]

having a tav that's a Lloth-sworn life domain cleric of a noble background who before getting yeeted into the nautiloid was a sacrificial priestess (gn) during one of the cycles of Drow society and had their own altar and temple under their care, means Solune would have the most insane however many minutes they spent interacting with Minthara and I am obsessed about it. As far as I'm conceptualising it, I'm thinking of Lloth as extremely Ungoliant-like. Goddess of hunger, goddess of wanting and consumption, goddess of excess and exuberance, goddess who unmasked the hypocritical gods of starvation, guilt and purity into a society that cherishes a certain kind of clarity about the double standard they impose. For Drow are evil for their wars and their wanting and their taking, but those other people with their other gods kill, warmonger and enslave with no regard and no self-awareness, calling the indignation about receiving scraps from a bunch of silent, unrepentant gods, "guilt and shame". There is violence in denial and her Children will not suffer it.

In the season of Life, they do not sacrifice the unwilling. It is taboo. The only sacrifice that matters is the desire to be devoured and destroyed by the things you love the most.

And Solune sees Minthara and is like fucking finally, someone rational enough to get what I'm going through, that they're losing their mind that their life was taken from them and if they become this other thing, if they transform, if they do not remain Luxe Solune Mizzmyrra, Life Knife of Lloth, they're never going to be able to be reintegrated into that life. They will die away from home, from their temple, from their (first) spouse, from their mother and their siblings and there won't be the day when they too succumb to the knife, when it is time, when the day they no longer feel hunger comes.

And then the parasite gives them an in into Minthara thinking she was raised from the darkness into a FALSE GOD? One thing you do not do is steal from Lady Lloth, and oh my god, there could've been a time, a chance that existed only in ignorance, of Solune lending a hand to Minthara but this to them is unforgivable because Solune is genuinely a good friend to their friends, but if you keep peeking into whatever mindset nobility and religious authority has given them it's like realising your friend is a cesspool of "what the actual and everliving fuck", and when the knife of the morningstar priestess comes down on Minthara it won't be with love but with absolute rage, grief and disgust and I will be thinking about this for evermore. Thanks, I'm not well

[sensitivedead]

.

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[the-descolada]

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[nomaishuttle]

sry its just like rly incredibly annoying how much ppl will like. IDK. yes ik a lot of autistic and adhd ppl who do love music. and sometimes it is bc of their neurodivergence yk. music can be grounding its familiar its reliable and comfortable. i think its fine to say Autistic/ADHD ppl often find comfort in music. but its stupid as fuck to say Therefore enjoying music makes you autistic/adhd.

[cutearose]

okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for

[snekdood]

Ppl gotta understand that just bc you do x thing because you're mentally ill, doesnt mean your actions dont have the same effect if you weren't. Like if you've been manipulative to your friends, you cant get mad at them for not sympathizing entirely with you when you go on about how they dont accept you for your mentally ilness. Regardless of your reason, you were still manipualtive, you fucked with peoples trust. Theyre still gonna have trust issues about you even if its bc of whatever mental illness you have.

[pikachu-deluxe]

been thinking recently about how i play games (in general but also a bit on the competitive side on some)

turns out i don't particularly care about winning, i just want to have fun, but obviously i do like winning i just try to do win by doing very stupid stuff

it's way more fun for everyone involved when you do things against the meta or common sense and end up winning anyways bc it's so weird that it takes others by surprise