#the last thing i sent them the day this ended was an apology bc i was just scared
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#the last thing i sent them the day this ended was an apology bc i was just scared#and trapped in a blame spiral. the gaslighting works to a degree#but they didn't and they don't deserve it.#this whole shit started bc they expected me to put up with debasing myself for their own irrational fear of me and their own cruelty#you can say “guilt is an unproductive emotion” all you want but it's not going to change the fact that sometimes you fucking should be#if running away from that guilt is going to lead to you treating people who care about you like shit. who you supposedly care about#but that's not my fucking responsibility and i shouldn't have even bothered trying to say “please love me better”#when their prerogative was acting in the most cruel and destabilizing way out of absurd and irrational “self protection” against shadows#it's fucked up
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teen!caitvi AU drabble based on this art by me!
warning: i am not a writer! and english isn’t my first language! i hope this still makes sense :) its a bit messy its not very well explained sometimes but i hope i got the point across! enjoy!
Ekko was sent by benzo to deliver things at jayce’s workshop and vi and claggor join because ekko’s quite young to go on his own anyways, vi is like, acting as the bodyguard and shes looking all tough and mysterious making sure ekko is okay constantly
they knock and stand at the door, vi staying behind ekko to look around and jayce is like come in! bc they have quite a lot of things and while vi stands back still cautious, she completely drops her tough demeanor when she sees young cait tinkering with some of jayce’s stuff, goggles on. Vi tries to be discreet but her eyes keep darting back at Cait while ekko and jayce conclude business, claggor catches vi but doesnt say anything, and cait comes towards them, taking the goggles off, a big smile on her face.
"Nice to meet you all!" she goes in her thick british accent and she offers a handshake to Vi who doesnt know what to do with that so she kinda blushes and stares at cait, cait going "I’m Caitlyn!" and, embarrassed and flustered, vi just frowns and doesnt say anything, sorta turning around and caitlyn takes that VERY personally and from that point on she’s got beef with her and Vi kinda regrets how stupid she acted but tries not to think about it too much.
now everytime ekko has business in piltover, vi INSISTS on joining, saying its for safety but really its in the hopes she’ll run into caitlyn again. one time at a fair, benzo has a booth to sell things in piltover and ekko runs it, naturally, vi and the other kids join, Jayce and Caitlyn visit the booth and when cait sees Vi she just turns her head away with a frown, still upset at their last interaction and refusing to look at her, and Vi decides to tease her and ask about what theyre doing here. Cait kinda ignores her at first but ends up yapping about jayce’s and her’s latest experiments and shes talking sooo much and vi listens to all of it and when cait realized shes been talking too much they both kinda laughs and then jayce says they have to go so they leave and they smile at each other
throughout the fair Cait tries to “accidentally” walk in front of ekko’s booth again, and when she does, Vi is gone and she asks Ekko where she went and ekko shrugs, cait keeps walking around until she sees Vi walk around and cait joins her and they just kinda tease each other and argue the whole day but in a cute way but they both try to pretend they dont like the other bc they have such different lives and vi keeps calling cait entitled but she doesnt even mean it. From then on, Vi starts sneaking out to meet Cait outside her gate, but she has no idea how to get her attention, so she kinda sits there in the rain for a while until one of the dog starts barking, waking, thankfully, only Caitlyn up who looks out her bedroom window and goes outside to see little wet puppy vi standing at the gate and trying to make up an excuse as to why shes here like jayce forgot a tool from ekko and it was just easier to get it to her house instead and they end up talking until so late even tho its freezing outside, the gate still separating them, like the wall that socially separates them.
they start meeting up almost every week, like clockwork, outside of Cait’s house to talk, and for Cait to yap about things she likes while Vi listens. one day, Cassandra catches them and forbids Cait to see Vi again. They both cry themselves to sleep and Vander notices Vi’s change in mood after that, and asks her about it. she tells him everything and apologizes for lying and sneaking out but vander isnt upset, he hugs her and tells her theyre going to figure it out.
Vander decides to go talk to Cassandra at the next Piltover-Zaun event, Vi standing shyly behind Vander’s leg, Caitlyn standing straight next to Cassandra, both girls so excited to see each other again even tho its weird and awkward with their parents talking in front of them, Cassandra listens to Vander who’s putting on The Charm™️ and she eventually sighs and allows them to see each other bc she sees Vi isnt a menace
that day they both walk around Piltover, often almost holding hands but theyre too shy so they don’t, but Vi wants to show Cait she likes her but she doesnt know how to because they shouldnt and also because she doesnt know how to show love in a way that Caitlyn would understand. they walk around and its comfortably quiet this time, even tho theyre used to yapping and yapping for hours but this time they just want each other’s presence. at one point they walk through a tiny crowd and theres a small group of Zaunites laughing at them, at the contrast between their clothes and demeanors and they hear one of the boys call Caitlyn and a not-so-nice words like stuck up or worse, Vi isn’t even sure but she immediately knocks him down in one punch and Cait has absolutely no idea what to do or say but she then grabs Vi’s hand and they run away, when theyre safe away from that crowd, Caitlyn gets SOOO mad in her little british accent and Vi just sits, knuckles bloody, listening to Cait lecture her.
Eventually, cait calms down and looks down at Vi’s hands and sighs, starting to unwrap her bandages to check her wound muttering “You are such an idiot, Violet.” and Vi just smiles as Cait cleans her wounds.
bonus:
cait begging her mom to let her bring vi to one of the shooting tournaments and Vi joins and they have so much fun and cait lets vi try out her rifle and shes so bad and they laugh and caitlyn teaches her and theyre having a moment but cait’s parents interrupt and theyre blushing and being silly teenagers with a crush and they dont know how to deal with it. cait is definitely the one to fall first even tho she represses it bc vi is from zaun and thats not how she was raised, but she becomes closer with vi and vi realizes wayyyyy too late that she has a massive crush and also that cait is not being slick about it in the slightest. she talks about it with vander at the last drop she sits at the counter with her head in her hands like ughhhhhh i hate having a crush its so stupid and vander laughs
thank u for reading :))
#caitvi#caitvi arcane#arcane#arcane fanfic#teen caitvi#caitvi au#arcane au#teen!caitvi#ship#league of legends#fanfic#fic#drabble#caitvi drabble#caitlyn x vi#vi arcane#violyn#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#young caitlyn kiramman#young vi#lgbt#caitvi fanfic#vi
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Kit
Back at it again y'all. Um, this one is literally so self indulgent. That's beside the point though. I'm not trying to make it fit into any movie or existing timeline and once again I'm just making stuff up bc I can. Anyway...
Paternal Logan x child!gn!reader
Summary: Young Y/N finds their way to the mansion after long travels. Once there, Charles quickly sends Logan to bond with them because they were derived from his DNA.
warnings: nothing to worry about if you watch X-men anyway.
Kit
Y/N wandered down a long path, utilizing their nose to lead them in the right direction. They knew they looked suspicious. I mean really, how many kids go around covered in blood? Not many, and if they do it's not long until they’re picked up and questioned.
Y/N couldn't risk that though, they knew what would happen if humans saw the claws coming from their knuckles. That's why they needed to follow this scent. Y/N had been trekking the woods after escaping their parents basement for days now. No real direction or plan. Just thankful they were away from that personal hell... and that their mutation let them eat raw meat. Too many squirrels were eaten in the past few days.
It was day 16 that the wind brought along the scent of fellow mutants. Y/N was all too knowing of exactly what a mutant smelled like. I mean, you spend enough time locked up with nothing but your own senses and you pick apart what you can, in this case, your own scent.
All the better at the end of the day though. Nothing could be worse than what they came from. Y/N just hoped they wouldn’t judge them too greatly for killing their torturer.
A mass amount of mutants like the one Y/N could smell would either be helpful or harmful. They were confident they could hold their own enough to escape again if things took a turn for the worse, but they were banking on this group being helpful. As Y/N neared, they could begin to hear the sounds of laughter, definitely a good sign.
Finally around the bend, Y/N was surprised to be greeted with a voice in their head.
“Hello, young one. My name is Charles Xavier, what brings you here?”
Y/N was freaked out to say the least. Their body kicked back into flight or fight mode and they swore they could feel their muscles tighten to their adamantium bones. They didn’t know how to answer the question. Shouldn't it be obvious they wanted to be with those like them? Plus, who was this Charles to think he could crawl into people's heads without permission?
“You raise a good point, I apologize. You seem to be in a pretty rough shape. Please, let us assist you,” Came the kind voice in their head once again.
Unwillingly, Y/N began to find comfort in that voice. As they stared at the looming building, Y/N could only think of how unkind their father was.
They doubted that this ‘Charles’ would infuse a woman's growing fetus with the last remains of the weapon x’s experiment’s DNA. Much less to then keep that child locked in his basement after it killed his wife by birth, though, staring at the mansion Y/N could admit its basement probably wasn’t as bad as the one they were in.
“Oh you poor thing,” Y/N was once again interrupted in their own head, "we are just the place for you. I promise. You’ll never have to suffer like that again.”
Y/N looked back up at the mansion when they heard the great doors open. Out came a gruff looking man. Y/N was set on edge again as the man began making his way towards them at a quick pace.
Scrambling backwards, Y/N ended up tripping and attempted to use their hands to catch themselves. This only resulted in them stabbing themselves in the thighs upon their landing. The scent of their own fresh blood flooding their nose is what sent Y/N into a true frenzy.
Tears began to pour and growls rumbled in their throat as they once again were shocked with the voice of Charles in their head, “Do not fret Y/N, this is Logan. I believe you’ll find him to be most helpful at the moment.”
Remembering the gruff man once again, Y/N jerked their head up to find that the man had stopped a few paces from their position on the ground and was staring intently at the claws embedded in their thighs.
“Hey bub, Charles” the man - Logan, they remembered - began hesitantly, looking up to see if Y/N was listening, “sent me to bring you in. He’s under the assumption you're some sort of backasswards offspring of mine.” Logan cocked an eyebrow at Y/N as he released his own claws from his knuckles, only to pull them back in after Y/N’s eyes flashed with recognition.
They were shocked to hear gentle rumbles coming from the man. It was soothing. Y/N found themself starting to hiccup instead of sob, and their own growls lessened into small mewls.
“Oh kit,” Logan started advancing again. Once near enough, he kneeled down and sat back on his heels, “let’s get those out of your legs and then we'll work on cleaning you up, okay?”
As the man began reaching towards them, Y/N flinched away and wrenched their claws out of their thighs to hold defensively before them.
“Don’t hurt me, please! I’m sorry for coming. I didn’t mean to kill them I promise! I just wanted it to stop, please don’t hurt me,” Y/N desperately cried, eyes looking to their quickly healing thighs, hoping with everything in them that this man wouldn’t impale them with his own metal claws.
“Kit, I’m not goin’ to hurt ya, and I’m certainly not gonna be the one to tell you off for doing whatever ya could to get out of what looks to be a tough situation. Lemme get you inside, allright. Inta a nice warm bath and some better clothes than these rags. How’s that sound?” The man spoke very gently, still with that kind rumble in his chest.
Y/N looked up at him again when he gently grabbed their wrists to lower their claws. Y/N watched as he began to gently rub the pads of his thumbs over the inside of their wrists. Y/N was confused at first, until they watched as their claws retreated back into their forearms when Logan hit a particular muscle. They tried their best to not let the pain of the movement show, but they were sure Logan heard their small hiss and the smell of distress spike.
Making eye contact again, Logan reached out to grab Y/N under their arms. Overwhelmed with all that's happened over the last few weeks and especially the last fifteen minutes, Y/N’s body decided it was the best course of action to shift into their wolverine form… to the shock of Logan, Charles (who was viewing from Logans head), and the students out on the lawn who had been watching the interaction from a distance.
Logan could hear the students begin to murmur about the kit having a true animal form, and he even heard one brave kid question if Logan could do the same (he couldn't), but his main focus right now was making sure Y/N was taken care of.
Carefully cradling the small wolverine to his chest, Logan made sure to keep up his gentle purrs as he made his way into the mansion. He was amazed by how quick a pack-like bond was forming between him and this kit.
Stood in the foyer, Logan contemplated heading straight to Hank, but ultimately decided a bath would be of better use, especially when he knew any injuries have already healed.
With that in mind, he made his way up to his room. Nodding to the kids he passed in the hall, Logan made sure to keep Y/N out of their view and to glare at anyone close enough to hear his purrs.
Entering his room, Logan gently closed his door and then made his way into his bathroom. He gently set the small wolverine on his counter and began to fill his sink with warm water, all the while pressing a soothing hand over Y/N’s back.
“Don’t worry, we can do a bath just like this if you’d prefer,” Logan told Y/N when he noticed their beady eyes looking up at him. Instantly the kit relaxed under his hands and laid still while watching Logan gather a towel and his 2-in-1 from the shower.
Once the sink was filled with sufficiently warm water, Logan picked up the kit and let them soak, gently petting the fur on the top of their head before cupping some water and wetting their head, being sure to wipe any from their eyes.
Squeezing some shampoo into his palm, Logan made sure to scrub everywhere as efficiently as possible. It quickly became apparent that a second fill of water and scrub would be necessary.
Midway through the sink filling for the second time, Logan heard Jean's voice in his head, “Is it alright if I come in? I promise I only have a spare change of clothes for the child and I’ll just set them on your bed, okay?”
Sending back an affirmative to her presence in his head, Logan made sure to keep a calming hold on the kit when they heard his door open with Jean’s scent rolling under the bathroom door and then close again as she left.
“It’s all good, Y/N. Let’s get you finished here and into those clothes,” Logan said as he picked up the shampoo once again.
After the water was running clean off the wolverines fur, Logan picked them up once again and wrapped them in a towel.
“I’ll go grab you clothes and leave you to change,” Logan set Y/N on the ground once dry and went to grab the clothes Jean left. Going back into the bathroom with them, Logan made sure to warn, “these are just the school merch, so they smell a little starchy and dusty. Don’t worry, we’ll get you some new clothes soon enough.” With that, Logan left the room to give his kit some privacy.
Y/N had no idea why this man was being so kind. Obviously he was like them, but they still didn’t expect this much care. Y/N can’t remember ever having hot water at their disposal, but Logan made it seem like they’d be getting that and so much more if they stayed here. Feeling calm enough to change back into their human form, Y/N quickly shed their old dirty clothes. Dressing into the sweats was easy enough, though they weren't sure how to keep them on, the pants kept slipping past their waist.
Holding them up, Y/N stepped out of the bathroom and found Logan sitting on what they presumed to be his bed waiting for them.
“Oh kit, c’mere,” Logan said as he realized they probably hadn’t had the comfort of sweatpants before.
Slowly walking toward the man, Y/N was shocked when he gently tugged the string around their waist. At first Y/N thought he was going to tie them up somehow, but quickly realized he was just making a normal bow and their pants now fit. Y/N stared with wide eyes at Logan who only smiled in return.
“C’mon, you can do with a nap, you look like yer about to drop,” Logan said as he stood from the bed. He pulled back the covers and began to make that rumbling noise Y/N liked so much again.
Watching the man to make sure he wasn’t going to change his mind, Y/N crawled up into the bed and let themself be tucked in. It was then that they realized they had their own nice rumbly noise coming from their chest too.
Y/N watched with hazy eyes as Logan made his way to a chair in the corner of the room. The final thing they saw before succumbing to sleep was him opening to marked page in a book.
Logan couldn’t hold back his smile no matter how hard he tried to. The kit was too adorable when swamped in the logo-ed hoodie and sweatpants and absolutely swimming in his massive bed. Hopefully after a good sleep Y/N would be okay to see Hank and the Professor, but for right now, Logan was gonna let them sleep as long as they needed to.
#logan howlett#x men#charles xavier#x reader#gn reader#wolverine x reader#platonic#fanfic#platonic reader#platonic relationships#logan howlet x reader
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It's a Cruel Summer, With You
kai parker x reader | requested
summary: kai's never had anyone tell him they love him. he panics when he hears it for the first time.
tags: based on cruel summer by taylor swift, mild enemies to lovers, drinking / alcohol, secret relationship, summer love, love confessions, fear / panic, past trauma affecting relationships, emotional hurt, unrequited love (but not really), break-up, heartbreak, unhappy ending, one teensy edgar allen poe reference
word count: 5k
a/n: anon, i apologize once more for the amount of time this took! i hope you like it, and i hope i did taylor swift justice. 🩷 i also hope it makes sense bc sometimes i feel like my thoughts are just all over the place 😅
You were staring daggers into the back of his head, three days after a drastic turning point in their lives. And he, feeling your eyes upon him, turned to face you and smiled. That enraged you like nothing else; no man had ever had such an audacity with you, to raise the hell that he had and still offer a smile. You looked back down at your drink, still fuming, and still aware of him watching you, and texted your friends about it. One replied with an equal disgust, another sent a funny-to-her joke, and there was no response from the third.
“Maybe he’s got a sweet spot for you,” she had said.
“Ha.”
A sweet spot that’d make him kill you last, maybe.
You rolled your eyes exhaustedly, but by the time you looked back down, someone had slunk into the booth across from you. You jumped, then rolled your eyes a second time at the realization of who it was.
“Hey cutie.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Kai shrugged, unbothered. He kept eye contact with you in a way that made it hard to look away; his blue eyes seemed to pierce right into your soul. They weren’t bright, like Damon’s, but instead had a touch of darkness in them. Like storm clouds rolling in on a bright, sunny day. They threaten rain, but you’re not sure if the downpour will come today or tomorrow.
Kinda like how he came into Mystic Falls.
“What do you want?” You bit, after about thirty seconds of staring.
“Are you scared of me?”
“Excuse me?”
“Are you afraid of me?” He repeated, eerily softly.
“Why would you think that?” Forced bravery is better than none, especially when faced with Kai Parker.
“There’s a slight tremor in your voice. Only one finger touches the table, as if you’re unable to settle. You struggle to meet my eyes.”
“What are you, a psychologist?”
“I’m a sociopath.”
Shocker.
“So?”
“I notice things.” He took a sip of your coffee. Reached out across the table, met your eyes, and sipped your drink. Again, the audacity. “I spent a lot of my childhood isolated. I had a lot of little brothers and sisters, and they were all taught to be afraid of me. I know how to read the signs.”
“I’m not afraid of you.”
“That’s what they’d say, too.”
“Well I’m not your siblings, and I’m not putting up an act. I don’t trust you, and I think you’re an ass, but I’m not afraid of you.” Your statement’s bold, but he had struck something fierce in you. A nerve, maybe on purpose, that wasn’t going to let him win this time.
Kai smiled at that. His gaze dropped to the table, surveying your hands once more. His own pointer finger dragged along the wood. “I like you, Y/N. You’re plucky.”
The words took a moment to register - Kai saying he liked you. Kai didn’t like anyone.
He got up to leave, causing you to turn towards him, prepared to jump out of the booth if you had to. “Well don’t.”
He cocked his head. “What?”
“I don’t want you to like me. I want nothing to do with you; you said it yourself, you’re a sociopath, and I don’t need that kind of bad energy in my life.”
That seemed to be funny to him, judging by the way he chuckled. “Okay, Y/N.” He put his hands up in surrender. “I won’t like you then.”
And with that, he was gone.
Of course, he wasn’t gone - gone. Kai was never gone - gone from anything, even when people yelled at him to leave. He would disappear for a couple days, but he always came back.
And somehow, after your interaction, you’d see him more frequently at the grill, too. He’d never talk to you, but you could feel his gaze. His stone cold blues would linger on you, almost like an animal stalking prey.
It made you anxious, jittery. But somewhere, secretly, also a bit excited.
He was dangerous in a way that drew you in. He had this aura about him that intrigued you as much as it scared you. You knew what he had done, and what he was capable of, and yet he still occupied the curious corners of your mind.
And somehow, he seemed to know that.
♫
How it happened from there is something you still question. Death glares became stolen glances, became blushing smiles, and by the next time he joined you at your booth, you didn’t try to fight him off. Kai ordered an uncharacteristically pink cocktail to match your own tropical choice. Neither said much as you both drank the rum mixtures down to the ice. You communicated in eye contact, mostly, as if daring the other to speak. Your stubborn personalities that should’ve clashed seemed to meld together instead. An intense staring contest was born. You found yourself entertained in the game, and quickly, enjoying it, too.
The booze soaked your brain as you continued to drink; your thoughts were fuzzy, and whenever you tried to catch them, they’d dissipate like cotton candy dropped in water. When Liv closed the restaurant around midnight, she unknowingly crashed the floodgates that weakly stood between you two. Ten feet out onto the street, you fell into him and he held you up. You laughed in his arms, partly due to your own drunken state, but partly that it’s Kai keeping you on your toes. He held you tight until you found your footing, just for you to crash your lips onto his unsuspecting own. The witch, taken aback but not opposed to it, let you taste him for a moment before kissing back. He pushed you up to the nearest wall, feeling and exploring, before hailing a ride back to your place.
It had been forever for both of you. The uber driver with a ‘no touching’ rule sobered you up a little, but not enough to make you think twice about it. By the time he laid you down on your sheets, any doubt in your mind had fizzled out. He was a gentle lover, much to your surprise, likely because it was such an unfamiliar feeling to be so intimate with another. The little control you tried to take was met with a laugh, and you understood the signal. You didn’t mind being underneath him, though, nor did you mind him staying the night.
Guilt struck you when you first woke up in his arms, but not enough to barr yourselves from meeting again. The first few times you had to be drinking to convince yourself it was okay, but the more morning-afters you spent together, the less ashamed you started to feel. With time, nights started to feel less like hookups and more like something else. He became something you adored when you had, and craved when you did not. The feelings were mutual, though harder to pull out from the siphon, until you asked him directly, putting both your hearts out for the other to grab.
“What are we?” You asked, head leaning on the vending machine as he fetched himself a post-high gatorade. A bag of cookies were held in your own hand from the exchange you made one minute prior.
“Having fun,” Kai replied.
“Kai…”
“Or so I think,” he followed his words, questioning the look on your face.
“Are we anything more? Will we ever be?”
A loud voice down the hall that vaguely resembled his sister made a sharp remark to another person. His response sounded closer, as if they were heading in your direction. Kai grabbed your arm and muttered a simple cloaking spell until they both passed. Liv and Tyler both disappeared into her room, then Kai removed his hand. His touch lingered on your skin for a moment. You’ve grown to quite like the feeling.
“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’m not exactly the person for relationships, if you aren’t aware. I’m a sociopath that was locked in complete isolation for eighteen years.”
“I don’t care.” You grabbed his hand and laced your fingers together. “I like you. I don’t want this to stop. I want it to be more.”
“I’m not built for this.”
“But do you want it?”
His mouth went dry as he already knew the truth. He did. He wanted you so much, but fear held him back like a dog on a leash. He didn’t have much slack. “I want you,” he finally said. “I want this to work.”
“I’m not good at relationships, either. We’re figuring this out together.”
Kai seemed to accept that better, and two minutes later, he climbed back under the sheets with you, turning on a movie and sharing snacks until you fell asleep.
♫
As your relationship progressed, it was tested, like all relationships ever are. You grew closer, more comfortable, as summer went on. Much of your time spent together was at night; you hadn’t told your friends, not ready for their questions nor their judgment, nor did you want the word out to his coven yet, afraid of whatever wrath his father could bring if he were to disapprove. You were still figuring things out, still learning about each other, and testing yourselves through time, and that was okay. Life isn’t something to be learned in a day, it’s something in which to be present to see where it takes you.
So, you let yourselves live, to do just that. On top of rooftops and beside small creeks, you snuck out to enjoy each other’s company. Mystic Falls has a lot of places to hide if you know where to look.
A couple times, you’ve almost ran into others. More than anyone being Liv and Tyler, also avoiding her father. Once, you’ve ducked under bushes to hide from Bonnie. Kai kissed your neck while his hand was clamped over your mouth, daring you to give away your position, while playfully inhibiting your chance to do so.
Sometimes, you were drunk when you found yourselves venturing the town together. The bar in which neither Matt nor Liv worked became a hotspot for you. But instead of ending the night short, you opted to explore the late hours in each other’s company. The alcohol wore off quickly, but the drunkenness brought on by your unconfessed love never did.
Kai, as it turns out, was easy to fall in love with. He was charming when you first met, but you were tickled to learn that underneath his manipulation tactics, he could be just as endearing authentically. He was a jokester and a flirt, whether across a room when you’d spot each other in public, or when you were hanging out together alone. You were never afraid to be alone with him. If your friends knew you were out with him, alone, at night, they would’ve freaked, but he always made you feel safe. And, once he felt comfortable being vulnerable with you, he revealed a side that could be sweet, too.
Even after arguments, you were able to patch things up as if they hadn’t happened. Sometimes, he’d be bristling and volatile, but you knew that a lot of his anger came from a place of fear. You learned what to say that would calm him down; you told him what he needed to hear to feel safe again. You’d provide him with the comfort he’d always desired, and when he settled, he’d melt into your touch and softly request forgiveness.
You complimented each other perfectly. And while it took you a moment to name the emotion, the feeling had been there all along. It was love.
♫
You were only slightly drunk the first time you realized the truth. Kai was painted in perfect, purple lighting, and his eyes seemed to sparkle when they met yours. You stumbled towards him and put your arms around his neck. He caught you, hands finding your waist. The music seemed to fade out as you swayed with him to the beat. It was as if a bubble captured you both, drowning out the rest of the world, making him your world, and in that moment, nothing else existed. You kissed him quickly, desperately, like an addict gone too long without a hit. He met you halfway, equally addicted.
And then, because you were young, and stupid, and courageously in love, you blurted out the words swimming restlessly in your mind,
“I love you.”
You looked up at him, not expecting an answer just yet, but to offer an encouraging smile. Before your gaze even reached his, his body tensed. His hands felt like ice upon your nervously warmed skin, and his once-strong grip on your waist loosened. Kai wore an expression of confusion, different from the emotion that you tasted on his lips. You opened your mouth to retract the words, but nothing came out. The bubble that consumed you seemed to crack; the music previously blocked filled your eardrums once again.
A fraction of a second later, you were guided to a hallway by your fingertips. The narrow path reduced some of the music, but most of the traffic. The man of your affection took to one wall, leaving you in the middle. You tried for his hand after he let it go, but dropped it at the discomfort he seemed to feel in having you hold it.
You racked your brain for the right words, but nothing seemed perfect. You stared at the ground beneath your feet for a half second longer until he spoke,
“You can’t do that.”
“What?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m sorry? I don’t. What did I do wrong?” He only shook his head, prompting you further. “Was it what I said or when I said it? Because I don’t think it’s wrong of me to confess what I feel for you when I know that it’s true.”
“It can’t be true. You can’t feel that for me.”
“Why not?”
“Because…”
“Provide me with a reason,” you interrupted, “or let me do as I please. I want to love you. I do, and I won’t apologize for it.”
“Y/N-”
“We’ve had some tough times together, I know we have, but we’ve gotten through them. We - us, together - have worked through so much to get here. Of course I love you, there’s so much effort and, and, love, that connects us.” You paused, letting your thoughts catch up to your mouth. “You don’t have to say it back. You don’t even have to acknowledge it, if you’re not ready. I know it’s a big step.”
“You can’t go there, Y/N.”
“I know, okay, maybe it was too much, too soon. I’m sor-”
“No, you can’t ever go there. You can’t love me and you shouldn’t. I’m not designed for relationships, they’re not meant for me. Do you not remember the things I’ve done?”
“We’ve talked about this, Kai. You confided in me about your fears, but we handled them, I thought. Do you not remember what I said?”
“I do, but-”
“‘Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway’.”
“By Poe,” Kai finished.
“And it’s true. I don’t care about the things you’ve done. I want to love you, and I do.”
“But you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t excuse the things I’ve done just because you want to see me for someone who I am not. You shouldn’t be so desperate to see a difference in me that you convince yourself you love me.”
“What?! Kai, I’m not excusing nor am I desperate. I know you’re different from the you that wrought pain upon the town. That guy’s gone, buried, with this you in his place. And I quite like this you, and I’ve learned to love him, because his progress is worth loving. He is worth loving. You are.”
“The old Y/N would never say such things about her sworn enemy. You’d never dare hold his hand, nor kiss his lips, nor say such things, because you’d know better, and if you did, it’d be because of some horrible nightmare, or some instance where I spelled you to get what I needed, because Y/N, we’re living in a fantasy, and none of this is real.”
“I don’t understand! This is real! We’re here, together, and we were dancing, and we were happy, and now we’re in this hallway. Still together, but now questioning if the summer we’ve spent together has all been a hoax, or if that’s the booze talking.”
“I’m not drunk.”
“You have to be, to think what you’re saying is true.” You paused, heartbroken, and afraid to show it, but pretty sure the choke in your words already had. “So are you saying you’ve never meant it? All the times you’ve kissed me were just folly? Or the nights we stayed up until the sun rose again were only dreams I made up?”
“That’s not what I meant, Y/N. I know what we’ve done, and I know we’ve shared moments, but a fantasy is all this is for us. Something we want, but cannot have. We have to wake up some day.”
“I disagree, I think we can make it work.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. This was never supposed to be a long-term thing.”
“But we said it could be! We said it could make it work!”
“And that’s what makes it a fantasy! We both know that’s a lie.”
“Kai, I don’t understand. Ten minutes ago, we were fine. Yesterday, you gave me a kiss that swept me off my feet; that replaced all my organs with butterflies; that made me feel like full-bloomed roses on the nicest day of the year. You made me feel cherished, and happy, and beautiful, but now, I feel like I’m on the end of a well-thought out joke, and everyone’s finally allowed to laugh.”
“I’m not saying this to break your heart. I’m just trying to be realistic.” He reached out to wipe a tear from your cheek, but you smacked his thumb away.
You couldn’t stop the tears from falling, but you still tried to talk through them. “I thought we were being realistic when we stayed up talking, all those nights, about how we knew each other’s flaws but were willing to work through them anyway. I would think, if we weren’t, we wouldn’t have spent a whole week together and considered getting an apartment to share, because we work just that well.”
“That only proves my point further. We haven’t been together long enough to make big decisions like that.”
“Then we’ll put it on pause and address it later.”
“Y/N-”
“Why are you doing this? Why does it seem like you’re giving up on us? Why are your words sounding like a preface to a break up?”
“Because they are,” he confessed, “because they have to be.”
“What do you mean, ‘they have to be?’”
“We can’t work. You can’t love me.”
“But I do, and I want to, and we do! We’ve managed to make it work, despite our-”
“But how long do you think we can keep this up? When will our differences outweigh our desires to stay together? When will we tell your friends about us? My family? We are too different for us to work, and I’m too damaged to be loved by you. We have to stop living in this fantasy.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this. Do you even know what you’re saying?”
“I’m not drunk, Y/N.”
“So what, have you been planning this? Have you been waiting for the perfect time? Funny, that the perfect time seems to be when I tell you I l-”
“Don’t,” he interrupted, “don’t say it again.”
“What?”
“The less you say it, the less you’ll believe it.”
“That’s bullshit. I believe it in the deepest corners of my heart. You’re etched into my bones. You’re the shimmer of light in the darkest parts of my mind. I love you, Kai Parker. I love you, and I don’t want to apologize for it, and I won’t believe that I’ve made this all up in my mind. It’s okay that you don’t love me, but don’t you dare try to say you feel nothing.”
“Y/N-”
“‘Tell me all the terrible things you’ve done, and let me love you anyway’.”
“You can’t. I won’t let you.”
“You don’t have a choice. I don’t. I can’t control my heart nor its desires. It wants you; you have it. Tell me you don’t crave it. I know you crave love, Kai. I know it in the way you kiss me, and in the way you hold me. I know it from the time you confessed, at two in the morning when you were too tired to hold back, and I know it from when you told me, clear as day, on that Wednesday afternoon. I love you, and I’m not afraid to love you. Why don’t you give in to what I know you want?!”
Because your love isn’t mine to take.
Because I don’t deserve it.
Because you’re a gemstone, perfect and pure, and I’m the dirt from which it was pulled.
“Because I don’t feel the same for you,” he said instead, “I’m not capable of love. I’m a sociopath, and anything I’ve ever said was for my own fleeting pleasure. It’s over now. I’m done. I’m bored with us.”
“What? No. Something’s wrong. This is not the same Kai I spent the summer falling in love with. Are you Damon in disguise? Pulling some sick prank?”
“I’m not, Y/N. It’s me, being realistic, and telling you I don’t love you, and I never will. It’s time to go home, Y/N, and to your own bed, in your own sheets.”
The tears streaming down your face run your make-up, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. “But my sheets smell like you.”
“Then wash them.”
The harshness in his tone was unlike anything you’ve ever heard before. When you finally brought yourself to meet his eyes, there was no light inside them, no humanity. His jaw was tensely set, and for the first time in months, you saw the Kai that everyone feared when he had broken himself free of his eighteen-year punishment. Scared and sorrowful, you backed away from him. He didn’t follow. You backed further and further away until you were stumbling out of the bar. The wicked August heat kissed your neck like he used to - passionately. You grabbed your hair, fumbling it up into a bun to get it off your skin, then searched for your phone to call a ride.
As the white sedan approached your meeting spot, you trained your blurry vision on the door, but Kai never came out. He never shouted your name, hurried down the steps, nor caught you in an apologetic embrace, blaming his temporary ignorance on too much to drink. He never peered through a fingerprint-stained window, watching you from the glass, wondering if it's too late to take back what was said. It was just silent, as car engines roared and drunk couples chattered around you.
When your ride finally came, you cried harder than you ever had in your life. Your driver glanced to the backseat, but didn't know a good time to interrupt, so he didn't. He offered a polite smile as you got out, thanked you for the five-star rating, and made sure you got in your apartment safely before pulling back onto the road.
You barely made it through the door before crashing on the couch. Exhaustion settled in your bones halfway through the drive, and you couldn’t even think about climbing the stairs. The worst headache of your life pounded in your skull. Water was too far of a walk, so you let it throb.
You tried your best not to think about Kai. His words rang in your head on repeat like an old antique bell - loud, heavy, constant. It almost felt like the whole night was a fluke. A nightmare. A spell, perhaps done by his father, or one of your disappointed friends. When you wake up, he’d be there, kissing your fingertips as the smell of coffee fills the air. You let this thought comfort you, and let it soften your heart. Although, deep down, you knew the truth.
He wouldn’t be there. He didn’t want you.
You’ve never known pain like this before.
♫
You can only ignore your friends for so long. Blaming a long to-do list can only give you so many excuses, and when Caroline messages you mid-afternoon on a Friday if you’d meet them at the Scull Bar, you realize you don’t have any more excuses left. So, cautiously, you pull yourself from your bed and drag your feet to your closet. You still haven’t washed your sheets, despite wanting to be rid of his once-comforting smell. It’s more stubbornness than anything, refusing to do the chore. If he thinks throwing a piece of fabric in the wash will rid you of him, he’s a damn fool.
You hadn’t been lying. He owns a part of your heart, and that can’t be simply washed away with some eco-friendly detergent.
Truthfully, you think, ignoring the heaviness in your bones as you enter the Scull Bar, the only way to remove him would be to carve out your heart entirely; to separate it from its lifeline and from all that’s familiar. But, you can’t, so you choose to let it bleed instead, and hope it doesn’t seep through your clothes.
A vague sadness hangs above your heads, but none of your friends know the cause. You told them you were tired before joining them. You must not have gotten a good night’s sleep.
After all, it’s the first time in Mystic Falls where something tragic isn’t happening. Damon and Elena are planning out their lives, Stefan and Caroline are newly together, and Bonnie and Enzo, a quite unexpected pair, seem to be happy. Jo is five months pregnant, and Kai has left her alone. The girls wonder if that’s of his own volition, or if someone or something is distracting him, but you don’t offer any suggestions. When they then ask you about your own dating life, you only shrug. They tease playfully, having no idea about the wreckage your heart is still trying to piece back together. The cause seems hopeless. You don’t even have the energy to confide in them.
The topic finally changes, but only because the one who dropped your glass heart enters. You turn when you catch a bit of his familiar cologne, but remind yourself he’s no longer yours and turn again just as fast. The girls let their gazes linger on him as if daring him to bother them, and for a moment, Kai wonders if you told them. But then, as they shrug and go back to their conversation, he knows you didn’t. Otherwise, they’d be hurling bitter words and sharp tools at him for breaking their best friend’s heart.
And honestly, he wishes they were.
It’s what he deserves, after all.
♫
“I love you,” you had said, only a couple weeks ago.
His heart stopped. His throat went dry.
The words seemed to have been shouted at him, despite the booming bass around them. You weren’t yelling, though, you were simply telling the truth.
A truth he wasn’t ready to hear. A confession he didn’t know how to process.
How could you, a perfect person, love him, someone so tainted and dark?
How could he ever love you the way you deserved?
He did love you, of course. He knew it long before you ever confessed, but it was never something he felt okay to share.
You always made him feel safe. Comfortable. Dare he say it, loved.
But love was something he had never felt before, and to have something means that it can be lost. And to not lose it tragically, he must be the one to take it away.
Hearing the words fall from your lips was both the best and the worst thing he could ever hear. He craves love, he knows he’s admitted it. He craves it more than anything else in the world. But wanting it and having it are two very different things, and now that he has it, he regrets asking for it.
He had to hurt you then, before your soul could be completely shattered later. He had to stop it. Right then. Before he let you in too much and you got too attached.
So, he lied.
He broke his own heart with every word, but it was nothing compared to the damage he knew it was doing to your own. He wanted nothing more than to sweep you into his arms, hold you tightly, and say it was all just a spell - an outside force trying to drive you apart - but he couldn’t. His fear of hurting you triumphed over his love for you. His mouth spoke before his mind could process the words he professed. He became unrecognizable to himself by the time he delivered his final blow. Your tears stained your perfect face and your posture was defeated, but he was no longer the one that could offer any solace. He was now the one that ruined you, and there was no coming back from what he had done.
How terrifying it is, that three little words can make or break you.
How terrifying it was, to wake up the next morning and realize the damage caused. To have to come to terms with the fact that he had broken the only good thing in his life. To imagine the love of his life sitting on the couch, stirring coffee, with a head full of questions neither will ever be able to answer.
“I love you, Kai Parker. I love you, and I don’t want to apologize for it…”
“I love you,” ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?
#malachai parker x reader#kai parker x reader#tvd fanfiction#kai parker oneshot#kai parker angst#requested#taylor swift cruel summer#kind of a songfic but not really?#kai parker fics#unhappy ending
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Gray & Erza Hcs
someone sent in an ask about their friendship and i accidentally deleted it but you know who u are, this is for you
these two have so much angst potential
* Gray purposefully take the route to and from his house that passes the river even though it takes longer, just on the off chance Erza might be there
* She holds so much guilt for sending him into avatar, but everytime she tries to apologize for it the words get stuck and she cant
* Grays probably the only person Erza has ever offered a slice of her cake to, if only bc she knows he doesnt like cake and made it her personally mission to find one he does
* They are so stubborn
* Gray: You’re one of my best friends, I would do anything for you.
Erza: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Gray: Absolutely not.
* Their friendship is the type where they can sit in silence for hours and be completely comfortable just knowing the other is there
* Erza loves her guild, but if Gray died, if he left fairy tail, she would genuinely consider leaving as well
* her big sister instincts will always kick in the fastest with him
* She has an internal alarm that sounds every time Grays in trouble even if shes no where near him.
* Sometimes she’ll wake up in a cold sweat and text him in a panic asking him whats wrong
* it freaked him out so many times but hes grown so used to it that he’ll message her as soon as smth happens to forstall the panic
* He was her first real friend in fairy tail, so she has a soft spot and a bias of sorts for him, shes more likely to take his sides on things than not
* thats not to say she turns a blind eye to his chronic dumbassery, no she still will fully call him out on his bullshit, but shes more likely to call others out before him
* In turn, Gray is the one who calls her out on her behavior, people will go out of their way to find him just so he can talk to her bc shes less likely to kill him if he calls her out than anyone else
* He called her a hypocrite once and everybody started to mentally plan his funeral, then was in awe since she actually stopped what she was doing and apologized
* He will fight for what she wants even if he doesn’t necessarily agree with it. He is the first to defend her
* Hes also the first to put her in her place, he has never seen her as the great godly ‘Titiana’, he sees her a ‘Erza’, a teenage girl
* And honestly? she probably appreciates thats more than being seen as a sort of invincible god the public sees her as
* Allegedly, their are the two most ‘mature’ and put together people of the team. its a lie. an act. theyre not. not at all. They are so chaotic, especially together. when nobodies around they can be so dumb together and they cause so many problems. but nobody would believe you if you told someone
* They have an insane amount of respect for one another, more than the kind for friends and guild mates
* Gray isn’t actually scared of her, he plays it up for shits n giggles but at the end of the day less scared than he is cautious, he knows she’ll put him in his place but he is by no means scared of her.
* She knows this and its like their own little secret
* They refuse to go to the doctor, therapy, or anything such as that unless the other gets checked out too
* They get each other weapons for their birthdays, each one is better than the last
* They see a lot of themselves in each other, perhaps thats why they are so protective of one another
* Neither of them are the type to fully let down their walls, theyve never really felt truly and completely at ease with any one person. But the closest its ever been has been with each other
* trying to get them to do smth actually good for their health is like getting happy to never eat fish again.
#fairy tail#gray fullbuster#erza scarlet#sun strickens ft#fairy tail headcanons#fairy tail incorrect quotes#one#these fools can fit so much angst into them#so silly#grayza#grayza brotp#both for good measure#they make me so sad#this has so much angst in it for no reason
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Hello 🧐 saw that rude comment of an anon and... manners????💀 I really hope that was just a very poor worded comment and not meant like that!
Never get down with such comments! You're writing is legitimate perfect and perfection does take its time!
And MAY I ADD that you also didn't just left, but taking your time to interact with us daily and try to catch up asks and such!
youre are OBVIOUSLY very diligent and VERY patient ❤❤❤ PLUS the long ocean liner story??!!! HELLOOO???!
Yeah, I rest my case. One of the BEST and my most favourite hobby authors ngl! I am actually a very picky reader, rarely there are stories on the internet that keeps me interested and wanting for more 😍 And here are the crack stuff you asked for lol
Just a sneeze... Kry won't rest until darling literally does...
I forgot Krys glasses in the last one 😪
Darling stole the maid apron btw...
And this one was dedicated to one of your answers about a Hedwigs ask :3 where anon described how secretly scary Hedwig is bc you dont realise her intentions until its too late. And your answer's ending where you described darling being genuine and not having the urge to impress her like others made me think that a frugal!darling would be the most funniest partner for Hedwig lol. Someone who just doesnt want to spend money excessively despite its there... yeah have fun Hedwig! Mwah! :D
so yeah, that slap was personal too lmao, I dont trust a robot vaccum cleaner to be reliable XDD i am sorta a clean addict ^^
I have another one but that is wayyyyy too long and messy to finish it, in general these sketches are a hot mess (i apologize, I normally never post such unfinished wips but I hope you still had fun. Imma show you the other sketch per chat though :p)
Haha omg no these are fantastic what the hell? I laughed out loud in public and now people probably wonder what tf I'm doing😅 I love these so much. I'm not going to lie however, I thought it was Silas in the second comic before I read the explanation. Which means that I was totally fine with him wearing a maid apron. I do not know how to feel about that ...
Fun story, we own a robot vacuum that is ass, and one day it just ... disappeared? Literally grew legs and walked away. I looked for 30 minutes after that damn thing. IT HAD HIDDEN ITSELF UNDER MY MOTHERS FUCKING WARDROBE ... ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE APARTMENT?
I see that you've sent a private message so I'm going to take a peak right after this!!
I'm sure the anon used the wrong wording! But they're getting a story later on today so I hope that will satisfy them :) but thank you so much for your nice words, they warmed my heart🥹🫶🏻🩷
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I thought the "x goes to the life server to see what's up" ask was going to end with, "x went to the death games and had a great time bc hes doomguy"
The vast majority of the time the hermits have known x, he's been a very friendly, goofy, mild mannered admin. He takes care of them, protects them, and loves them with all his heart. What they don't know about x, is that he has not always been this way.
X is a man born of divine violence, he has fought to be kind, clawed his way out of hell for another chance more than twice and defeated the final sin. All in a metaphorical past life, it's been hundreds of thousands of years since he's done anything like that, and he has no desire to go back.
But...he will say that the life server feels familiar in a way he nearly can't remember. Nearly.
Once he goes red, all bets are off the table. His diamond sword feels like the crucible in his hands and his friends and lovers smell like hellwalkers. Xisuma has so. much. fun. Cutting them down, spilling their blood, it's refreshing, he's present for every second of it and in the back of his mind he knows the regret and shame of his actions will crush him to dust, he knows that his hermits won't ever see him in the same way, but he's busy right now.
He wins, and is sent back to hermicraft where he begins his tour of regaining the trust of his family. Etho is the easiest to win over again, saying that everything that happened is forgiven and forgotten as long as x tells him where the hell he learned to use a sword like that. And grian is the hardest. It takes some coaxing from the rafters, lots of soft kisses, hours of explanation and apologies for how he acted.
X doesn't wear his armor anymore and never brings out any weaponry around anyone. grian still isn't totally comfortable and Cleo won't turn her back to him. He understands and hopes that he can leave his last behind for good someday.
That day finally comes years later. Grian knocks on his door in the dead of night and asks him to help preen. Xisuma welcomes him in and coaxes new pinfeathers out of their protective casings with gentle ease. Grian falls asleep as x holds him close, stroking through his hair.
Cleos gone back to playfully punching his arm and sprawling over his work when they want attention, unafraid to bare their neck, to be vulnerable.
Pearl perches on his shoulders and leans down for a kiss, scar asks him out on dates, Bdubs curls up with him in the dark.
Things are good, and the games have never come back, apparently satisfied with his debut performance enough to leave them all alone.
Ough this got so much longer than I wanted it to be cause I need everything to work out and be ok in the end. Sorry lads
-s
Xisuma knows the road in life isn't always a straightforward one, but he's still disgusted with himself for his actions. He scared nobody more than himself.
That bloodlust should be reserved for threats, not the hermits he loves so dearly. He would've gone his entire life without them seeing that side of him if he could.
He acquiesces to any request asked of him for a while, hoping to earn back that trust. He announces himself when walking into a room, pays attention to his footsteps, keeps his weapon tucked away.
It's Cleo who calls him out on it eventually. X had spent most of his week grinding because Impulse just so happened to mention needing a resource. Just like any dressing down, it's a good one. And it ends with them knocking the back of his head and telling him, "We don't care who you were before this. We don't really care for you moping around like this, though Scar probably enjoys it. We just want our stupid admin that listens to metal too loud and can't read a book to save his life back."
Xisuma... He can do that. With time, but he can do it.
#hermitshipping#ask#xisuma tag#grian tag#zombiecleo tag#pearl tag#etho tag#impulse tag#bdoubleo tag#polyhermits#s anon#mod 🎀
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Hii, can you write about how the reader comes home from a long day of work and is extremely exhausted. So Alex ends up taking care of them. Thanks!! (ALSO I LOVE YOUR WORK IT’S SO AMAZING!!)
TYSM i appreciate the excitement! also, i added "them dealing with being upset with each other bc of some bad words being shared" request. i hope you like it the same way :)
Alex's love language. // Alex Turner X Reader! (Fluffly)
"You wouldn't know, things don't come so hard for you, Alex." Those words had been spoken the night before, after he had spent hours trying to help you search for new job openings in your field.
You were stressed and your situation had already reached such an extreme that Alex's motivational and incessant words had begun to sound like helplessness. You knew he wasn't intending to do harm and that he only wanted to help you (and he really was, no one was helping you as much as he was) but still, with your head pounding and already knowing that you would do the wrong thing, you let your words cut him.
In the end, it had hurt you more than him. When he heard it, he went quiet, his hands and fingers fidgeting with his coat. After a quick glance, not knowing what to say, he moved away from you. You let out a heavy sigh, refusing to close the laptop in front of you, and massaged your temple. Your body ached with stress, but you didn't want to face Alex and see how upset he might be with you. So, you stayed there with the screen open until you fell asleep, only waking up the next day and having to return to your infernal job routine.
You checked your phone several times, staring at it but always refusing to send a message to him, not knowing what to say. A little before the final hours arrived, Alex sent a simple message, asking how you were. You smiled even though you didn't deserve it. He sounded dry in the message, you replied that you were okay, and hoped that he was too.
When your work hours came to an end, you felt as usual, tired and soreness taking over your body in response to being overworked, but you didn't give in. It wasn't your fault, without that job, you wouldn't have any money and you could only get rid of it when you found a new one. As Alex was at home, he didn't mind picking you up, which was great for you as it actually made you feel better. However, not knowing how he was feeling after last night, you didn't know if he would be there. You knew that, deep down, Alex would be parked in his usual spot even though. And fortunately, for your mental well-being and luck, he was. On this occasion, he didn't greet you with a warm smile outside. Instead, he stayed seated in the car, patiently waiting for you to join him.
"Hi, Al," you said quietly, clearly apprehensive.
"Hey, babe. I hope today wasn't so bad," he smiled with tired, yet affectionate eyes.
Alex wasn't angry with you, but he was sad about the way you approached him the other night when he just wanted the best for you. And you could tell that by just being near him. He understood what happened as your way of asking for space, and that he had been too overbearing lately. So, he was committed to being more restrained about it, knowing you well enough to know that you would apologize once you had some time to think about it.
"It would've been better if I hadn't been rude to you, but work-wise, it wasn't so bad," you replied, your eyes welling up with tears. You tried to laugh it off, and he pulled you into a hug. His scent and grip made you feel so immediately lighter, you were so foolish.
The air was still tense between you, and there was more to be said. Alex didn't say anything, but he kissed your lips and nose, feeling somewhat relieved to see you laughing at his touch. At that point, surely, you could punch him in the nose and he'd still be there for you. Besides, he knew you needed him more than you needed him at that moment. He didn't care.
You tried to get comfortable in the car seat, but you couldn't quite relax. You watched him drive you home, his inviting profile and turtleneck sweater making him look sophisticated and cozy. He avoided looking at you, but you couldn't help but stare at him. You eventually fell asleep, but not before reaching out to place your hand on the nape of his neck and intertwining your fingers in his smooth, black hair.
Upon arriving, Alex picked you up, intertwining your legs and arms around him and carried you to bed. You were so exhausted, both from the day and from not having slept well while being sprawled in front of the laptop, that you just snuggled closer to his body and allowed yourself to be taken. He lay down with you, observing you sleep peacefully for some time, until he eventually fell asleep with you nestled against him.
Alex woke up to the feeling of you tracing your fingertips over his face, through his eyebrows, nose, and cheeks. Slowly, he opened his eyes and saw you gazing at him attentively. As he became more aware, he removed his hands from your waist, but you took them and placed them back on your body, causing him to let out a soft sigh. You rested your head on his chest and whispered, "I'm sorry. I hate that I treated you badly. It wasn't my intention, and those words didn't mean anything. I just acted impulsively because I was stressed, and you don't deserve that."
He hugged you tighter, kissing your face. "It's okay. I know you acted out of anger and it doesn't mean anything."
You stopped to look at him, your brows furrowed, as he seemed calm but still affected. "You're angry with me, I can feel it. Tell me what I can do to make it better. I promise not to do it again. I don't want you to think that I don't value what you do for me. I don't know what I would do without you, Al."
He chuckled, pulling you closer. "I'm not angry, babe. But I can't deny that I was upset."
Hearing that hurt, but you knew it was to be expected. Before your pained expression could repeat the apologies, he touched his lips to yours. "I forgive you, don't worry." He rested his forehead against yours, looking at you affectionately.
He understood that you didn't need space, and maybe he shouldn't try to solve your problems with resolution advice, but just listen to you. He felt uneasy hearing about the things you go through at work, and it was certainly even harder for you to experience it yourself. "I promise I'll listen better next time instead of hovering around like I know everything," he said simply, and you shook your head. He couldn't truly understand what you were going through, but he could learn to handle it better.
"I love you, Alex. I really appreciate that you're here for me. It's been a huge help. It wasn't your fault. I had no right to say those things to you, even if I was stressed or upset," you said. Alex looked at you with his puppy brown eyes as if he had just found his owner, knowing full well how stubborn you were and that you would keep with that until you had your last word about it. He could feel you were feeling bad about it.
He nodded, not wanting to drag it on. Then, hee kissed your face, like multiple times, moving to your neck and shoulders until he could feel the longing of not having spent the night beside you subsided and your laughter deafened him.
…
As you leave the bathroom, the sweet smell of baking cake fills the house. Alex was a great cook, while you, not so much. Whenever he had the time, he would experiment in the kitchen, and today was no different. As you enter the there, Alex catches sight of you and lifts you up in the air, making you laugh before setting you down on the countertop. He excitedly explains what he has made and how he tried his hand at a recipe from his mother. He thought you'd love it.
As he talks, his words become slow, velvety, and lazy, and at some point, you realize you haven't been listening to what he was saying. You've been too busy admiring how happy he looks. He offers you a slice of cake, saying, "I made coffee, but my mom suggested I make you try matcha. She said it has less caffeine and might help you sleep better and have fewer headaches. I thought it might help you." He holds up the package, and you can't believe how lucky you are to have someone who cares for you that much.
"Thank you for taking care of me, Al," you whisper, not sure how to put your feelings into words. His cheeks flush, and before you can take the mug from him, you kiss his hands. You take a sip of the matcha, not really enjoying the taste but trying to show your appreciation. Maybe you'll get used to it.
Alex watches you with tenderness, making sure you feel loved when you can't seem to allow you to make it for yourself. He scoops up a piece of cake and offers it to you, watching as your face lights up with warmth and affection. It tastes delicious, and Alex is happy that you're feeling good. He takes a bite too, feeling proud of the cake he made. As he takes a sip from the mug, you laugh, watching his face contort in response to it.
"You know, it's the thought that counts," you say, smiling at him before pulling him for more tight cuddles.
#alex turner#arctic monkeys#alex turner x reader#alex turner x you#alex turner fanfic#alex turner x y/n
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Hello! This is the last anon who sent in an emergency request regarding my boyfriend and I, and sorry this is pretty late but I’d love to see both sides ! Don’t pressure yourself though and have an amazing day💗 (sorry if this sounds rushed it’s bc it kinda is)
Hey! so here's part 1 of the Law request, the... uh, happy ending? I suppose. you did say HCs in the original request, so that's what I did. Sorry it took so long, alone time in a house with 3 people + myself is hard. Especially when 2 of them are disabled (3 disabled people in one house 😖)
Warnings: violence, arguments, regret, talk of unsafe situations
Word Count: 850
A relationship with Law is going to be difficult.
It can still be healthy if you work at it, but the man doesn’t strike me as the type to be terribly open about his feelings or past.
So it’s going to take some time for him to open up to you.
He also strikes me as the type to waaaay overwork himself. (I don’t remember them outright stating that he overworks himself, but I can totally see him being a workaholic).
The beginning of your relationship was… bumpy.
Frequent arguments about him overworking.
Frequent arguments about how he never talked to you about anything.
You got through to him eventually, but it took quite a bit of time.
We’ve seen Law fight, we know he’s not exactly a pacifist.
That being said, he’s not particularly violent either.
He’s also usually pretty calm and level headed (Doflamingo excluded)
So for him to hit you, holy shit!
It’s not that either of you was being particularly unreasonable, just that things got a little too heated.
Instant regret!
But it’s Law so he doesn’t apologize easily.
You open up to friends (who aren’t the Heart Pirate Crew) who are very displeased with Law.
They (probably) weren’t exactly happy that he was a pirate in the first place.
But now he’s hit you?
Nope, they want you away from him!
So you’re torn between your love for Law and your need to make others happy.
You do eventually talk to the Heart Pirate crew. (Of course you do, you live on the ship with them)
Many of them are kind of on the fence about the whole thing.
After all, it’s their captain, they love him, they trust him, he means a lot to them. But he did hit you.
Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin are, of course, Law’s biggest supporters.
Totally keep telling you to talk things out again, their captain regrets it.
You two do start talking it out again but try harder to remain calm and see each other’s point of view.
It’s not easy for either of you.
After a lot of talking and a lot of effort, you both get your points across, sort of.
He understands you’re just worried about him and you sort of understand why he’s overworking himself.
I mean, he’s a captain and a doctor, it’s practically inevitable that he’s going to overwork himself… plus it’s Law, his definition of relaxation is probably organizing his coin collection (for the hundredth time).
You do give him a second chance, it’s just a part of who you are to do so.
He, oddly enough, tells you to stop being such a people pleaser after you tell him about what your friends and family said.
“Don’t break up with me because that’s what they want. Break up with me because you’re unhappy with me.”
He realizes this means that you could very well leave him one day because you weren’t trying to make someone else happy by staying with him, but Law is a good guy.
He might be a pain in the neck, but he really does want you to be happy.
Even if it’s not with him.
Because if you’re not happy with him, he screwed up and he needs to take responsibility for that.
Whether it’s changing to be a better man or living with the fact that you left him.
I think he’d try and change for you, but personal opinions.
I mean, you managed to get Law to fall in love with you, the man will probably go to the ends of the earth for you.
Law totally makes sure to keep himself in check from then on.
He will not hit you again.
If, by chance, he does hit you again, he will literally send you back home himself.
Like, you gave him a second chance and he betrayed that.
Clearly you aren’t safe with him and he doesn’t deserve a third.
Tries 10x harder to keep himself in check, like, he really doesn’t want a repeat of what happened. He doesn’t even want anything close to what happened.
Despite being standoffish and quiet, I really do think that if he’s in a healthy, loving relationship, he’s going to do anything for you….
Well, almost anything. He’s still Law, there are some things that just aren’t going to happen.
In private, he frequently asks if he’s scared you recently or if you feel unsafe with him or anything.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to him about it, he’ll have one of the crew talk to you about it.
Will absolutely change or send you home if you don’t feel comfortable.
If it’s just a matter of being uncomfortable, he’ll try and change things to make you more comfortable.
But if you’re afraid or anything, he’ll send you home until either A) he can do better, B) you’re no longer afraid of him, or C) you leave him.
I really do see him as a good guy, just because he’s not public about it, I think he’s a very good person.
#one piece#op law#trafalgar law#trafalgar d law#one piece law#trafalgar law x reader#one piece trafalgar law#trafalgar one piece#op trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law#traflagar law#trafalgar d law x reader#trafalgardwaterlaw#trafalgar op#law x reader
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it’s been awhile since i last asked you about yours hcs so give me more :)
[/nf if you don’t want to]
i apologize for nto seeing this sooner i think you sent this in right when i was going to bed and we've been doing a family thing today so i haven't been able to reply to it
ajnyway. hcs (it is time to struggle thinking for an hour) pls excuse me if i forget what we've talked about and i repeat shit im very tired and kinda sad and a few other things SFHKJFHJKAFSG SO . SORRY IN ADVANCE IF SOMETHING IS REPEATED FROM OTHER POSTS IVE DONE
yosano sometimes finds surprise gifts on her doorstep that are exactly to her tastes (they're from kouyou)
sigma, to impress nikolai, has ATTEMPTED (key word attempted) to braid his own hair before. nikolai spent like ten minutes brushing out the tangles afterwards
t4t kousano ? i think yes. they take estrogen at the same time of the day bc they say its a bonding thing (it so is)
dazai LOOVES those big sweaters that have like huge arms bc theyre SOO soft adn warm. there's one time he gets a package and he's very confused because he didnt order anything and he opens it and inside theres a note that says "happy birthday, bastard" and he immediately recognizes the handwriting as chuuya's and inside is a light blue sweater with the big arms and he doesnt take it off for like three days because he LOVES it so much
tachihara rants to hirotsu bc "GIN IS SOOOOO PRETTY" or "AUAUAGUAUA JUNICHIROUOUOUU...??!? ?!?!??!!" and hirotsu is so done actually but he doesnt mind
higuchi likes to collect little trinkets and has boxes and boxes of stuff she doesnt need but wanted to buy
chuuya "spender's guilt" nakahara x osamu "impulsive buyer" dazai. i rest my case
fyodor has a fan/heater in his room because he cant fall asleep very easily without some sort of sound
poe has found an easy way to get the marble out of ranpo's ramune bottles so ranpo can have the marble and the bottle if he wants
tanitachigin, tachihara is 100% the one who screams at horror games
sometimes sigma wakes up and his hair is in a really nice braided bun or something. (nikolai did it) (its very pretty) (sigma doesn't take it down until he absolutely has to, if not the end of the day)
nonbinary shibusawa !!!! i rest my case x2
chuuya keeps bandage wrap in several places in his apartment because he KNOWS dazai just shows up because for some reason he never bothered to take back his apartment key so dazai will pop in to just chill so he just keeps bandage wrap there for him. he also keeps canned crab in a little minifridge in his bedroom so it doesn't clutter his main fridge
jouno LOVES LOVES LOVES chocolate stuff. specifically chocolate covered strawberries he adores them with his whole heart. tecchou thinks its odd (he thinks strawberries in cocktail sauce is way better) but he's made jouno some damn good chocolate covered strawberries because he knows he likes them. i imagine sometimes he'll buy white strawberries and dip them in white chocolate so BOTH of them can enjoy them (even though tecchou thinks they're waaay too sweet, jouno really likes them so he'll eat them with him to make him happy)
#ive been on a slight suegiku/skk kick recently sorry for the lack of siglai but i think ive talked about all my hcs with you already GHFGHAS#bsd#akiko yosano#ozaki kouyou#sigma bsd#nikolai gogol#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#michizou tachihara#ryuro hirotsu#gin akutagawa#junichirou tanizaki#ichiyou higuchi#fyodor dostoevsky#edgar allan poe#ranpo edogawa#tatsuhiko shibusawa#saigiku jouno#tecchou suehiro#kousano#siglai#skk#tachigin#tanitachi#ranpoe#tanitachigin#suegiku#xanthinks#xanbox#bsd headcanons
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hi again! i’m the anon who sent you the ask about getting harassed in my inbox— i just wanted to say thank you for giving such a long and well thought out reply… it’s people like you in this fandom that really remind me there are good people out there who still care about preserving a mostly positive atmosphere, and i wish more people did the same.
i’ve been able to step back and breathe and calm down from it, and you’re right i have to just ignore the haters bc at the end of the day they’re hiding behind an anon ask (….well i am too but that’s because i don’t want to get more hate but i digress).
i just miss the days when the fandom were super friendly and positive towards each other and we all seemingly wanted the same things but then one day it just snapped and suddenly it’s an all out war… it’s hard to see blogs that i used to love following turning into something else that just perpetuates negativity… and like yeah i have my own feelings on bucktommy but i intentionally don’t tag it as such so as to not yuck someone else’s yum… but it feels like we aren’t getting that same treatment sometimes.
anyway, all this to say thank you for listening to my venting… again i apologize for dumping all of that on you but i was having a slight panic attack over an ask i got last night and needed to tell someone and you were right there hahaha!
i really appreciated reading your thoughts and kind words and suggestions on how to better manage what kind of asks i receive… i’ve also seen other blogs talking about their own ways of dealing with hate and have gotten a few ideas from them too!
i hope you have a fabulous day 🩵🩵🩵
Hi again anon!!
Aww you’re so welcome and I’m genuinely happy to help
I’m so glad you seem to be feeling better and I totally understand the frustration and the sadness of not getting to just enjoy your little serotonin boost via a comfort show or fandom, just because people are actively trying to be rude
I’m happy to listen and I’m glad you felt comfortable to send an ask like that to let out some of that stress and calm down a little bit
Hope the suggestions help!!
Thank you and I hope you have a fabulous day too🫡🫶🫶
#911#buddie#evan buckley#911 abc#eddie diaz#911 fox#evan buck buckley#911onfox#fandom discourse#911 discourse#asks open#send asks#send me asks#answered asks#asks
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Last wereboom post in a while probably I am. Running out of ideas and we're at the end of this au's story anyway
So Sonic's been captured, the villagers is essentially holding his friends hostage, and Eggman now basically has free reign over Hedgehog Village. He's sent his badniks to start taking over the place while everyone else was distracted with the hunt, so when they all get back, they'll be in for a big surprise (well, everyone except Tails, Amy, Knux, and Sticks of course)
The crew tries to fight and get Sonic back, but Metal Sonic swoops in and quickly overpowers them, trapping them into cages to make sure they can't intervene with the takeover
Meanwhile at Eggman's base, Sonic is thrown into a cage. Again. Not fun. And he's being taunted by Shadow. And is one more insult away from flying into a feral rage. Eggman plans to keep him prisoner and make him watch him take over of the village, then the island, and then the whole world. And he also wants to study Sonic's condition. He's never seen anything like it before (not in real life, that is) and is incredibly curious abt it. Shadow, meanwhile, wants to kick his teeth in, so while Eggman goes off to oversee the takeover, Sonic is left alone with Shadow
The two fight, of course. Shadow actually gets in his cage and tries to fight him, which ends as well as you'd expect for both of them. But it does give Sonic an opening to escape, and while he really wants to kick Shadow's ass, he's getting claustrophobic and wants to get Out. So he immediately brute-forces his way out, locking Shadow in the cage in process. He's running on animal instincts rn
Once he's outside tho, he runs into a problem- he's on an island and deathly afraid of water. Orbot and Cubot (oh yeah, they exist, sorry for forgetting abt them for this long lmao) helplessly try to stop him, but Sonic is easily able to intimidate them into taking him back to the main island
Once there, he hurries to free his friends and the village, taking down Metal Sonic and the other badniks keeping the village captive and stopping Eggman's takeover dead in its tracks. Though he's in a bit of a feral rampage, the villagers start to see that he's, at the very least, trying to help
As the fight dies down and Eggman is sent packing, the sun begins to rise, and Sonic transforms back into his normal self. He wants to run off and just be over with the day already, but the village is already celebrating and he gets caught up in it. He hazards to ask the mayor if they're gonna, uh, idk, kick him out of the village bc of the werehog thing or something, but thankfully no! He even apologizes on behalf of the village!
And he does Nothing else to compensate for the stress they just put him through. But that's to be expected at this point
And that's that! Nothing bad happens ever again (for real this time. At least nothing as bad as what just happened here). After that, Sonic decides to go back to living in his burrow full time. He needs to get away from everything for a while, until he adjusts to everyone knowing abt the werehog thing. Tails and the rest of his friends try to help him manage his condition as it slowly worsens, but having everyone know in a way makes things a little better? He has a bigger support system now which is very nice
Everything is back to normal, but it isn't at the same time, as it tends to be like when a big life-changing event happens. The end, for now :]
#ramblings#boom werehog au#ok that's it the end i'm done talking abt major events in this au#from now on if i talk abt it'll be abt small hc or scenarios or stuff like that#my. brain feels like mush. help
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HIIII WANTED TO SEND OVER SOME LOVE!!!
okay I think I’ve sent in an ask before unless I’m schizo but I’ve been reading since you released the first chapter of BTDOM and I’ve stuck around since. Was super hyped for today (Tuesday) bc i knew the finale would be today and, holy… IT WAS SO GOOD????? I LEGIT CANNOT. I wish we get to see more moments of Grian doing his best to become a habringer in the future (aka the few days after he ascends, which could include learning to preen etc) tho that’s up to you!
not normally a ranchers person but I definitely will be tuning in for the sequel :3
-thank you for the amazing fic, and to an amazing sequel, signed theseus 🥂
Hello!!!! I’m so honored that you saw my fic through to the end with me, that really means a lot! I don’t know if you’ve sent an ask before because these last few weeks have been kind of a blur, but I appreciate the thought even if you haven’t!
As for the missing scenes, i’ve gotten a few asks about stuff like that so i’m gonna say a similar thing for all of them:
I’m not sure word for word what the sequel will detail, but I’m 99% a good chunk of stuff will get at least touched on here and there. If it doesn’t, I’ve played around with the idea of releasing a oneshot that may or may not encapsulate some of those scenes, because they definitely would be cute, I just didn’t have the space for them in my original plan!
And I apologize that the sequel isn’t exactly a ship you adore, an unfortunately unavoidable problem that comes from switching ships in series like these, but I’m so grateful that you like my writing enough to give it a shot!! That is so sweet!!
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ok so, i was rereading your new brady/croz fic and i was wondering does it take place in a world that has homophobia? like as in, if they get caught they’d be sent home?
bc. and like, i’ve compiled reasons why it would be or wouldn’t be in my head. my main thing that’s making me think there might not be that level of homophobia is this line: “oh God, they can’t tell anyone what happened here. Mostly because Levitt will kill them if he finds out.” because like. it seems to me more like he would kill them bc they had sex in the b17 and not bc they’re two men?
and also there’s no real element of shame that i can see in croz’s mind abt it being two men. like it more just kinda seems like he’s ashamed bc he has a crush on a friend/someone he looks up to and someone he thinks will never like him back.
there’s also the line where croz is like “Oh, he is never living this down. Goodbye cruel world, it was fun while it lasted. He hopes the letter they send his mother is a nice one.” to me kinda implies that he’s dying from embarrassment and not that he’s getting sent home bc he’s gay.
but then there’s the stuff where brady is like ‘we can’t do this out here’ and like, it could be bc. gay. but it could also be bc, like. sex is a private thing.
AH i don’t know, i’ve been thinking abt this a lot, as you can see, so i thought id finally just ask you and let my poor mind rest.
hello anon i love ur curiosity and ur beautiful mind! ❤️first off, deeply touched ppl are rereading damn hot minute already! waugh, my boys 🥺❤️
secondly, great question! this fic does exist in a space where there is some homophobia but it’s not super relevant to Harry’s pov. (and maybe he should consider it! harry stop thinking with ur dick challenge!) the fic ended up that way because i wanted to have fun and do something less angsty. i wanted to have a lil self-indulgent wish fulfillment as a queer person-so i nixed having too much about internalized or externalized homophobia. Harry was married too, (which the show does acknowledge), and I definitely don't address that here either, my apologies to Mrs Jean Crosby!! In contrast, Brady's 'we can't out here' is like, he does not want to get caught for a variety of reasons, bc they def would get in trouble on some level if anyone found out, homophobia or not. also he's a private person.
personally, i go back and forth on whether i address the societal homophobia that existed at the time when i write hbo war fic. some days u just wanna write two guys hooking up in a b-17 and not worry about stuff like that. in contrast i was just discussing with some of the folks in the hbo war discord that the next bradycroz wip will be the opposite, bc John Brady is a walking bundle of Problems and at least half of them are caused by being gay in a homophobic society. rip 2 my guy.
tldr; no, there's not really homophobia in the story bc i was having fun and being self-indulgent! next time, who knows?
#asks#anon#waow an ask! big day here at corrosivesaints#my fic#feel free to ask more questions if u want anon#but i hope that answered ur question#everyone approaches homophobia in hbowar fic differently#homphobia#cw homophobia
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I was supposed to go to the eras tour in Vienna which were cancelled due to te**orist attack plans which is so scary and disappointing. Do you think it's ridiculous or greedy for us Vienna fans to be a bit upset and confused about Taylor's and Taylornation's decision to just ignore what happened and not comment anything about it. Idk just feels very weird and dismissive to just continue on to post about London merch especially when she has commented on other postponements and the attack in England. I just can't think of any other artist that wouldn't acknowledge the effort fans have put in to being there for the artist and it getting cancelled especially for such a scary reason and the threats being directly towards big crowds of fans.
This just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and also makes me feel bad about the whole swiftie fandom who a lot of them don't even try to understand why some of us might have some criticism towars taylor's team and their communication decisions and how many of us are alredy feeling horrible after waiting for a year to see her and it ending up this way. And maybe there is a good safety reason for why she can't post anything but it just seems weird and it doesn't make Vienna fans feel any better to hear other fans who could make it to a show make us feel shitty abt how we feel. With swifties I also often feel that they blindly defend her/her team and don't even try to see things from a different perspective.
hi babe.
i apologize for not answering this the other day when you sent it, but it’s absolutely not ridiculous to be upset about your tour date being cancelled. tickets to a show, especially a show like this, is something that so many people look forward to. it means a lot to them, and honestly the only thing that’s ridiculous are the fans who are making others feel bad for being upset over the cancelled dates.
regardless of the situation, cancelled tour dates can hurt lol it just. does. and anyone who enjoys live music can attest to that. and yes it’s a scary situation. it was all done for the safety for the fans and taylor, herself. but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. so please don’t let anyone make you feel like garbage for being sad about this.
re: why hasn’t taylor said anything— honestly, i don’t know. i watched a video last week where someone outlined many of the reasons why she hasn’t spoken out yet that made sense to me at the time. And we will never know the bts of this situation and what is legal to say publicly about it etc., BUT i do think it being as long as it has now without any word from taylor is a bit disapppointing especially for those fans in vienna, like yourself. no, she doesn’t have to say anything. it isn’t obligated of her. but, it would be nice if she threw out even a small statement to her fans in vienna. complete silence about it all is so ??? i was honestly under the impression bc of how detrimental the threat was in vienna, that the rest of the tour might not go on (or be put on pause) due to safety concerns but… it still is so her not saying anything at all is even stranger imo.
my heart goes out to the fans who weren’t allowed to have their show. i cant imagine waiting over a year for a concert and then it doesn’t happen due to very dangerous situations.
i hope she does say something soon. anything (just an apology or sending love to vienna etc. if she can’t talk directly about it) because the longer it goes on like it never happened, the more upsetting it is for the fans.
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hi. i’m one of the ppl from the last anon. i just wanna apologize for the things i said. you probably don’t care atp but i do wanna apologize because what i said was wrong and very hurtful. i was extremely angry and trying to direct my jealousy and envy at someone. you don’t seem like a bad person nor do you deserve to have hate spewed at you. honestly i was just super jealous and sent that without thinking. it’s a bad excuse but i wanted you to know that i did want to say i’m sorry and that if i could unsend it, i would. i’ve been seeing so many fans with signed merch, fancalls, printed polaroids, barricade tickets, etc and it makes me feel as if i’m not a good enough fan for skz or that i won’t ever get those experiences. i was crying earlier that day bcs i just have a lot going on in life to where i don’t have disposable income to spend like that. i don’t wanna be y/n and i definitely don’t wanna be hurtful to other stays. i’m genuinely disgusted w myself for saying something like that. i’ve never sent hate online nor anonymously and for me to do it now was so low. so i really am sorry that i took my envy and insecurities out on you. you didn’t deserve that. i hope skz knows how much you love them and that you get endless love and support for your business. you truly deserve it.
hi! i don't want to uncover the drama again on twitter so i'll answer here, but thank you and i appreciate your apology. i'm glad you gave your viewpoint a second thought and i hope your situation can change for the better. I genuinely do understand where the jealousy comes from because I've been in the position where I wasn't able to get good seats at concerts or attend special events, not only for skz but for other interests I've had when I was younger, as well as having resentment against fans who were born rich since my parents were pretty strict. Personally though it motivated me to work harder for what I want that is now possible for me to do with skz (even if it took a few years), so I hope you can take this as a message to not give up with your dreams ^^
Lastly, I don't think there's anything that makes a fan "not good enough" as long as they support skz and other stays. The kids smile just as bright when they meet someone for the first time versus when they meet them for the 10th time. But one thing they definitely wouldn't appreciate is stays fighting with other stays, so let's all be happy for each other okay?
It's normal to feel jealous about things, i still do too, but at the end of the day I'm glad thinking about a stay who was able to be happy because of skz~
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