#but now that is postponed at least for a little. if i stay like this i think i will anyway but for now i hope i'll keep feeling better | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alotofpockets · 10 days ago

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The London Derby | Lucy Bronze x Arsenal!Reader

Where you play an intense game against your girlfriend

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.5k

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The loud sound of your alarm broke the silence that had filled your bedroom, yanking you from a dream you could already not remember. With a groan you turned around, finding the warmth of your girlfriend. You snuggled into her side, and pulled your blanket further over your head. As if hiding from your alarm would magically make it go away.

Early mornings were not your strong suit, and early matches therefore even less. The struggle to get out of your bed on cold days like this was real. The warmth of your blankets is way too nice to give up just yet.

Luckily your girlfriend seemed to not notice time. It didn’t matter how early it was, she would be wide awake the moment the alarm went off. Ready to start the day the moment that the alarm sounded.

You felt Lucy shift beside you, rolling over to turn off the blaring alarm. Silence fell over the room, and you were ready to fall back to sleep. Your girlfriend knew better though, and instantly started a conversation.

“Good morning, darling.” You hummed and nestled your head further into her chest. “Too early.” You wanted this warmth and comfort to last, but you knew you had to get up and get ready, something your girlfriend wasn’t going to let you postpone, not on match day at least.

Lucy placed a few long kisses to the top of your head, “Come on, darling, big day today.” The London Derby. Lucy had heard you hype it up plenty over the years, but never before had she been a part of one. Let alone play one against you. Arsenal versus Chelsea this time around meant you versus Lucy. A match you had both been looking forward to, despite what fans had thought. Most fans thought it would be a tough match, to play against your girlfriend, but you loved it. You both respected each other and the other’s careers, so no matter the outcome of the match, you’d be happy for each other, like you had always been.

“Do I have to?” You groaned again, making Lucy chuckle lightly. “I mean, I’d say not getting up is a forfeit, so that means the first London Derby is automatically mine, no matter the score later.” This woke you up instantly. You sat up straight in bed, “Ain’t no way I’m forfeiting. Let’s go Bronze, we have to get up.”

Lucy was surprised at how fast you had gotten up, taking a mental note to use similar tactics to help you get up in the future.

When Lucy moved from Barcelona to London, you knew you wanted to move in together. You had been together for a few years, but had always lived in different cities. So, now that you’d finally be living in the same city, you didn’t have to think twice about moving a little further away from the training grounds to live somewhere between your jobs.

After a quick bite, you headed your separate ways. Lucy towards the Chelsea training grounds, to take the bus to the Emirates with her teammates, and you towards Leah. You don’t remember when it started, but somewhere along the lines, you and Leah had started a pre-match tradition of travelling together.

“Ready for your first derby against Luce?” She asked once you settled into her car together a while later. “Oh yeah, ready to start the tally 1-0 for us on the derby front.” Leah chuckled, she had known the both of you for a long time, and knew how competitive the both of you were separately, let alone together.

“Well, if you need a place to stay after we beat them, you know the spare room is yours if you need it.” You shake your head with a chuckle. “Thanks Lee, but we’ll be good no matter what.” She smiled, “Yeah, I know you will be. The offer always stands though, because we are getting that first derby win for you.”

It wasn’t until pitch inspections that you saw Lucy again. You met in the middle of the field, just for a moment before you’d join your own teams again. “Hey so one rule.” You said with a serious look on your face that made Lucy raise her brows in question. “You know how amazing I think your sliding tackles are.” Lucy nodded, a slight smirk playing on her lips. “Don’t you dare make them on me.”

Lucy laughed at the way you had gotten so serious about the matter. “I make no promises. Good luck in the match, I’ll see you out there.” You wished her good luck too and made your way over to Alessia and Kyra.

Like any London Derby, the teams were well matched and it had been a tough match for the whole eighty minutes you had played so far. Still no score on the board, and you were getting slightly frustrated with not being able to get around Lucy.

Yeah not only was it the London Derby against your girlfriend, but she was also the one defending you. It was a nice challenge, one you desperately wanted to win, but no luck so far.

Then seemingly out of nowhere, Kyra picked up the ball midfield. She lifted her head and you pointed forwards. Letting her know you wanted the ball over the top, so you could make the run. She had picked up on your instruction and kicked the ball exactly where you wanted it.

You started running and had surpassed Lucy, who was now chasing behind you. Lucy was fast, and you knew all too well that you had to keep going or she’d catch up with you.

Before you even had time to respond, you felt Lucy slide in, and knock your feet out from under you. You plummeted to the ground, before you ever registered what had happened, the referee blew her whistle signaling for a free kick.

You turned on your back so you could sit up, and saw Lucy’s hands reached out to you. “Are you alright?” You nodded and let her pull you back onto your feet. “Yeah, all good.” Lucy gave you a pat to the back before walking towards the line her teammates were forming in front of her goal.

While you were adjusting your cleats, Katie whispered something your way. With a smirk you nodded and joined the rest of your teammates that had made their way over to the penalty area as well.

Both Katie and Beth stood over the ball. Arsenal stood in a way that it could be either one of them kicking the ball. Katie’s words echo in your mind. “Wanna show your girlfriend what she gets for tackling you?” You knew exactly what she meant and had gotten in position.

Beth ran first, but stepped over the ball. Then Katie kicked it to the far corner. You ran up to it and jumped into the air, heading it right to the back of the net. 1-0 for Arsenal, finally and only about five more minutes to play. You celebrated with the girls before lining up again.

When the final whistle blew and exhaustion hit you right away. The match had been intense to say the least, and in the end you were just happy you were able to get away with the win in the end.

“First Derby win on the board!” Leah said as she hugged you. “That’s what she gets for tackling you.” Katie added with a teasing grin. You knew she was only joking but you knew you had to use that on Lucy as well tonight.

When Lucy got back home, you were already showered and watching tv in your sweats. The game had exhausted you, and you couldn’t wait for Lucy to get home so you could cuddle up to her and take a nap together.

In the privacy of your own home, you hugged Lucy tighter and longer. “You played very well, my love.” You pecked her lips, giving her the recognition she deserved after playing so well. But then Katie’s words came to mind again. “Too bad you had to tackle me though. I had warned you not to do that.”

Lucy chuckled, “Yeah yeah, are you going to punish me for doing it anyways?” Your smirk grew, “Nah, I think scoring the winning goal off the free kick you gifted us is punishment enough.”

“You’re hanging out with Katie too much.” Lucy joked with a shake of her head. “Great game, and good work on the set piece. I’m gonna take a quick shower.” She pecked your lips. “Cuddles after?” Lucy smiled at the puppy dog eyes you were giving her. “Always.”

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#lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze #chelsea wfc #chelsea women #cwfc #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #awfc #chelsea women x reader #engwnt x reader #lionesses x reader #woso x reader

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toxic3mmy · 2 months ago

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prompt: you wake up in a girl’s body and fuck your best friend

okay soooo, i got this idea from an ao3 one shot i read the other day and well, this came outta it

it may not be everyones cup of tea but i always loved gay fics where one guy magically turned into a woman??

IDK

ALSO IM REALLY DEPRESSED SO I LIED ABT GETTING TO UR REQUESTS DONT HATE MEEEE MY BOOBIES <3

warnings: SMUTTTT, mentions of witchcraft and body switching

you and quackity were best friends from a very young age. you and him were inseparable, as if you were one person.

the two of you went through school together. everything changed when his youtube career took off and he changed his focus to that which of course you didn’t mind. you thought it was so awesome the way he was passionate about this.

the two of you were so close that living together through college eventually turned into living together as adults. now, you were working at a law firm as an intern while alex pursued his online career.

truthfully, you were in love with your best friend. you had been from a very young age, it was only natural for you to fall so hard for him.

on a drunken night, you decided to come clean. you told him how much he meant to you. you confessed that you were in love with him.

he smiled sadly and hugged you close

“i wish you were a girl”

those were his drunken words and the two of you never spoke about it again

but within your friend group, everyone liked to tease the two of you as if you were gay together. of course you would enjoy every single interaction like this, hell you two were even dared to kiss once!

it was too easy to fall for your best friend

—

you had gone to visit your family in mexico for a few days and finally you were home. you walked into your shared home as quickly and quietly as possible so that you didn’t wake alex up.

your trip was great. you got to catch up with family and spend some quality time together.

while there, you confessed to your favorite and closest cousin about your feelings for alexis. she was very accepting of your sexuality and even encouraged you to go for it.

you filled her in on what happened when you did confess to alex and her eyes lit up with a devious look. she had an idea and although you were a bit skeptical, you agreed.

you knew she was learning the traditions of brujeria in your family and you were really interested in it. but what she wanted to do was crazy. she wanted to try something new and of course you agreed, not expecting anything to come of it because of how impossible it seemed.

so the two of you spent the last day of your trip together so that she could work on it. and well, you went home that same night.

the next day, you woke up like any normal day. you sluggishly walked to the bathroom and relieved yourself. you felt a warmth trickling down your legs and you were speeachless

“aw shit” you murmured to yourself as you knelt down to clean the floor of your piss

you couldn’t believe it worked

you looked at yourself in the mirror and loved what you saw. your face was a bit more round, your hair reached your ass now, and you had a great rack. you were ecstatic, practically gawking over yourself

and then the fear set in when alex knocked on your door saying that breakfast was ready

“uh… im not feeling well! go ahead and eat without me, thanks” you said, trying your hardest to deepen your voice

“are you sure? whats wrong? your voice sounds weird, are you sick?” he asked worriedly

“i think it’s a virus or something, don’t worry”

“i wanted to have a little day with you since you’re back from mexico… i guess we could postpone it until you feel better”

“thanks” you said quickly, hoping he would go already

“are you… going to stay in there all day? i mean, at least let me in so i can take care of you” he sighed, resting his head against the door

“n-no! im fine, really!”

“c’mon y/n, let me in so i can at least make sure you don’t die in there” he laughed

there was absolutely no way to hide this

“okay but… please don’t freak out” you said as you quickly started to look for a t shirt to put on

all you had on were loose boxers but they felt weird. you didn’t have any bras, obviously, and so you had no choice but to wear a tight fitting white wife beater

“i wont” alexis said softly

“close your eyes”

he obliged and you carefully unlocked the door, leading him into the bedroom

“before you open your eyes, i think i need to—“

he opened his eyes and his mouth dropped

“um… what…?”

“please let me explain!”

“okay, who are you… i get it if you wanted an autograph or a picture but what the hell?? why are you in my house right now?”

“what?… alexis! i’m not some crazed fan that broke in! it’s me.. it’s y/n..” you exclaimed

“no you’re not, what the fuck are you talking about! look, i don’t believe in hitting women but if you don’t leave my goddamn house in three seconds, you’re toast buddy!” he yelped and picked up the nearest weapon like thing which just so happened to be a lamp

you blinked at his attempt at being tough and burst out laughing uncontrollably

“lady! i am so serious! what the hell is wrong with you? oh my god… you escaped a mental hospital and you’re using my house as a hideout aren’t you?!”

you couldn’t stop laughing at him, this was just way too hilarious!

“okay i am dialing 911–“

“wait! please… just listen to me okay? i didn’t expect for this to happen… but it’s me. it’s y/n”

“you really are a nut, aren’t you?”

“i can prove it! look… it’s the matching tattoo we got when we were 18” you pulled your t shirt down to show the tattoo littered on your collarbone

he put down the lamp and sat on your bed. he didn’t know what to think. he nervously ran his hand through his hair

“oh god… how did this—?”

“i—i” you stuttered, trying to figure out if you should tell him the truth

“i swear you didn’t have tits the last time i saw you… and your face looks so… different” he softly held your chin in his hand, studying your newly feminine features

“brujeria” you blurted out, cheeks flushed with his touch on your face igniting a fire inside your chest

“w-what?”

“i… my family does brujeria and i tried this new thing and i swear i didn’t expect it to work! ive heard of it working but ive never seen it for myself and well…”

“so… you did this to yourself?”

you nodded, almost feeling shame

“but why?”

“i had a talk with my cousin in mexico and well… you told me you wished that i were a girl…. and i thought maybe things could be easier this way, better, even. i really didn’t think it would happen…”

“so…” alexis cleared his throat, “you’re um, fully a female now?” his face turned red in an instant and you couldn’t help but laugh

“yeah, i mean, i went to use the bathroom and that’s when i noticed…”

“no way…”

“yeah..”

“and so… why are you practically naked?” he laughed nervously, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants

“dude! look at these fucking tits! i don’t own any bras and god they’re already giving me back pain.. i need to get dressed so i can go back and see my cousin or see a doctor! i can’t stay like this—”

he stayed quiet for a while before saying breathlessly,

“i don’t want you to go”

“i… i have to go… i have to fix this” you said quietly as you began to rummage through your drawers to find suitable underwear since you obviously didn’t own any panties. you changed into boxer briefs and shrugged. it would have to do

alex quietly stood from where he was sitting and he stood behind you, looking down at you with a look on his face that you’ve never seen before

“god.. you’re so tall” you whispered as you stopped what you were doing and looked up at him

“you’re so fucking short, it’s really cute” he smiled before grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder

“hey! what the hell! put me down!” you squirmed in his arms and that earned a harsh smack to your boxer clad ass

he took you to his bedroom and practically threw you onto his bed. he stared at you with the same look as before, his eyes filled with lust, as he threw his beanie to the ground and took off his t shirt. he threw his shirt somewhere behind him before slowly making his way to you.

you were sat up with your knees to your chest against the wall

“u-uhm.. why um.. why are we here? i told you i have to go!! i have to fix this shit” you rambled nervously, earning a deep chuckle from alexis

“shh, just let me admire you..” he was now next to you on the bed as he carefully tucked your hair behind your ear

“what are we doing alex?” your whisper dissipated into the thick tense air surrounding the two of you

alexis didn’t respond, instead he gently grabbed the hem of your t shirt and pulled it off of your body. your new set of tits were now on display, your nipples perking up instantly as your best friend trailed his fingertips along your chest. you hiss at the sensation of his cold hands and you feel something beginning to build up inside, just beneath your bellybutton

“o-okay…i get it, it get it. this is about that stupid thing we talked about! look, it was funny back then but right now it’s not okay, i need to see my cousin or a fucking doctor!”

“you mean that thing about how if one of us woke up as a chick then we’d fuck?” he laughed, now trailing his fingers underneath your chin

“y-yeah but it was hypothetical! i didn’t think we’d ever actually be in this situation i mean, it’s just not normal!”

“so, do you want me to stop?” he murmured against your neck, leaving tiny butterfly kisses there

“i-i don’t know okay? but it doesn’t help when you’re touching me and you have your lips on me and god damn i forgot how sexy you looked without a shirt on…”

“you think this is easy for me? feel what you do to me, baby girl” he guided your hand to his clothed dick and your eyes went wide with how hard he was

“oh my god… stop it! fucking shit dude! you can’t just have me touching your dick! a-and now im fucking leaking or something, i don’t know! it’s all warm and wet down here! i don’t know what to do!” you complained, almost whining, not realizing that what you needed was him inside of you

“yeah? i bet your tight little cunt is soaked, isn’t it?” he asked, almost hovering above you

you couldn’t respond, you were too overwhelmed with so many emotions at once

alexis began to lean into you more and more and god it was getting harder to resist him as his strong cologne infiltrated your little brain

finally, his lips were on yours. he kissed you so gently, as if at any moment you could break. you pulled him closer to you and wrapped your arms around his toned back, melting into him

one of his hands balanced him above you while his other hand began to play with your perky tits. you were grinding into him as he rolled your sensitive nipple in between his thumb and forefinger

“o-oh my god! that feels amazing..” you bucked into him more, rubbing your cunt against his leg. you were so frustrated and begging silently for any kind of friction

“slow down princesa, there’s no rush. i promise ill take care of you, okay?” he said in a sweet voice that only turned you on even more

you nodded and your eyebrows furrowed together as his mouth was now attached to one of your boobs, the other was pinching at your already sensitive nipple. you let out soft whimpers as he pawed at your chest delightfully

“g-god… this feels so wrong but so fucking good” you said breathlessly, earning a little laugh from the boy above you

his lips kissed and sucked a trail lower and lower until he reached your boxers. he licked his lips and hooked his fingers under the waistband, sliding them down your legs. you were trembling as he kissed down the front of your pussy. finally, he ran his tongue flat against what you now knew was your clit. your hands instantly buried themselves in his soft hair, pulling it in the process

“you okay?” he asked, pausing for a second. you nodded furiously and he got back to work instantly

his tongue ran circles around the bundle of nerves that were now throbbing. you bucked your hips further into his face without even noticing

suddenly, you felt a finger at your entrance. it stung ever so slightly and immediately turned into pleasure as he curved it upwards. he pumped his finger into you and continued lapping at your swollen bud. the second he added another finger, tears were rolling down your face

“just like that! oh fuck..” you cursed, back arching as you reached up and clung onto his bedsheets

alex was basically making out with your clit now. his two long fingers were curved perfectly inside of you. you were bouncing on his fingers at this point. it all felt so so good

“you taste so good y/n” alex said as he came up for air momentarily

your hands came down and were now shoving his face in between your trembling thighs. his tongue moved even faster now, syncing with his fingers that were plunging into you.

you were restless, squirming and writhing as the sound of your moans and your wetness filled the room. you felt yourself chasing your climax. your thighs clamped shut, forcing alex to stay right there and not move an inch.

as your walls clenched around your best friend’s fingers, alex was being completely engulfed in your sweet pussy. his fingers curved up one more time inside of you and your body paused completely.

you saw stars and felt yourself leaking cum out onto his fingers. you caught your breath and closed your eyes. after a few moments, alex broke the silence

“so… was i any good?” alex asked, wiping your juices from his chin, a shit eating grin on his lips

“shut your mouth and take off your pants” you rolled your eyes

alexis laughed loudly and obliged, gaking off the remaining clothes he had on. you instantly sat up on your knees, your attention completely on him

you took over, pushing his pants and underwear down in one swift motion. his erection sprang free, and you stared at it with a mix of fascination and hunger. He watched your gaze, feeling a surge of pride and desire that made him ache even more

“holy shit! dude, your dick is huge!” you said in awe, almost drooling

“open up princess” he smiled and pumped himself gently

you opened your mouth gingerly. as he lay his tip on your tongue, your hand wrapped around the base of his cock. your other hand cupped his balls, grabbing at them

“you… you sure you haven’t sucked a dick before? you’re doing this so well” he grunted

“believe it or not, your dick is the first to ever touch these lips” you laughed and took him into your mouth almost entirely

alexis whimpered, one of his hands pushing the back of your head onto him further

of course you choked but alex was still enjoying this and you were definitely taking in every little whiny sound he made

you sucked his tip gently, and looked up at him through your doe eyes with your pupils blown completely, your lips wet and swollen, hair a mess, and alex almost came at the sight

“lay down” he said gently but firmly

you did as he told you and alex propped your legs up as if he were going to eat your pussy a second time. instead, he slipped himself in between your legs and hovered over you

carefully, he entered you, savoring the tightness that surrounded him. you gasped, your eyes fluttering shut as you adjusted to the sensation of his thickness stretching you. he waited, giving you a moment to breathe, before he began to move.

alex was in pure bliss, loving how warm and tight your cunt was. he completely forgot that this was your first time doing this, involuntarily speeding up before immediately stopping as you made a sound of pain

“okay look i respect you, you have game dude but jesus christ you need to fucking chill ! i’ve never done this shit before… at least not with a pussy” you tried to laugh off the sting

“i am so sorry y/n, you just feel so fucking good around me. i didn’t mean to hurt you, princesa” he spoke with a worried expression on his face

“sit back, okay?” you said suddenly and alex laid down, watching you crawl into his lap. a smirk made its way onto his face as he realized what you were doing

you straddled him, slowly taking him into you as you sat all the way down on his lap. you still felt some pain but it wasn’t as bad. you slowly lifted yourself up and slid back down again, your hand on his belly as he watched you intently

you gasped as his fingers pressed against your clit, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. your hips picked up the pace, seeking more, and he eagerly gave it, his movements growing more deliberate with every moan that escaped your lips.

“take it like a good girl… “ alexis groaned as his head fell back in pleasure

you continued to move, his cock hitting you at the perfect angle inside and the pressure of his digits on your clit motivating you to go faster

“that’s it, princess” alexis praised as he watched you bounce up and down

his free hand found your breasts, kneading them as you rode him, your breaths growing more ragged with every thrust

“oh god, you’re so fucking deep! a-alex!” you moaned as you rode his cock

your pace was slowing down as you were growing tired. alex sat up and held you close. your arms rested around his neck and you kissed him passionately as he thrusted into you while you sat on his lap

“say my name again baby, say it” he kissed you on the mouth roughly as his hands held your hips in place and he fucked into you faster now

“alex! fuck… i’ve wanted your cock inside of me for so fucking long, i need more, please!” you pleaded

your eyes locked onto his, teeth biting down on your lower lip as you felt another orgasm building. your walls tightened around him, and you could see the effect it was having on him, his jaw clenching and his eyes darkening with lust. you leaned forward, your breasts brushing against his chest, and whispered into his ear, "I'm going to cum on your big fucking cock”

your movements grew erratic as alex pushed you back slightly, giving you a new angle for him to fuck you senselessly in. the two of you made a sort of ‘v’ shape in this new position as you leaned away from one another and your sex met his in perfect rhythm

your nails dug into his hands that were on your hips, leaving half-moons that would surely bruise. he didn't care, the pain only added to his pleasure, heightening every sensation

the sight was too much for him. your fucked out expression begging for more, your supple tits bouncing as your hips crashed together. he lost control, his orgasm ripping through him like a storm. he filled you with his warmth, his hips jerking as he emptied himself into you.

you came immediately after he did, loving the way you felt his thick cock twitch inside of you

you stopped moving and collapsed onto his chest, your breathing ragged and your heart pounding like a drum in her ears. alexis wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as your breathing gradually returned to normal

“you okay?” he asked, he felt your body trembling again

“yeah, just hold me okay?” you nuzzled into his chest

“okay” he said, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple

#alex quackity #alexis quackity #quackity #quackity x reader #quackity fanfic #quackity x y/n #quackity smut

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strawberryshortcake0413 · 2 months ago

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Last Hope chapter 4

Hello everyone :D i have finally decided to upload a chapter i postponed for weeks. Hope yall enjoy it, lmk your thoughts and reactions

Characters:yandere Leon S Kennedy (older version) x reader

Disclaimer: This fanfic contains dark-themed topics, such as kidnapping, depression, suicidal thoughts, non-consent, unwanted pregnancy,etc

Warning: yandere Leon Kennedy, kidnapping, non-consent, depressed reader, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, unwanted pregnancy, emotional & mental abuse

Chapter1 Chapter2 Chapter3

God.

You were crazy. You were confused and blind. You didn't know whether it was love or hate.

Hating your kidnapper seems to be the logical explanation most people would come up with. But again, most of those people had not been kidnapped, nor was Leon S Kennedy the one who did it.

A few days ago, you had played with his nerves more than ever.

You took a small knife from the kitchen when he allowed you to watch him cook. Trying to be sneaky was harder than it sounds.

You have been his good girl for a whole month, yet trying to steal a knife to kill him.

Little did you know, Leon had already noticed your little trick, sneakily putting it in your sleeve while you kissed him.

He was happy that you were showing affection without any fuss at first. But when he saw your true intentions, he was furious.

That same night you tried to stab him when he was sleeping. Or pretending to be asleep, waiting for the right moment to give you what you were itching for.

To say the least, you got your punishment.

Even though you got him mad a couple times during the months you lived in the isolated house, it was never this bad. It never went as far as Leon refusing to acknowledge you or tamper you like his usual self.

Humans are social creatures. Communication was the key to survival starting from the ice age to the modern world. People need love, someone to laugh and talk to. Without these, life was darker than the pitch of hell. This what you felt like was happening to you. Leon was the only being you talked, communicated, snuggled in for a long time.

Now he was trying his hardest ignoring and giving you silent treatment. Thinking more about this situation, it was half funny, half painful.

If you start from the funny part, he was childish. The one who made sure to comment about how stable and mature for a family was now acting like a spoiled, mad 5 year old.

At the same time, you realized you were truly alone. Here, in this prison of a house, you at least had someone to give a shit about you at least a bit, even if it was toxic. But thinking about your past life, you had nobody for you.

Hell, if you made a bet with a stranger your mom would stab you from the back if she wanted to have your boyfriend in her bed, it was not a lie you would lose a few bucks.

You are alone in this miserable life with no one except a mentally ill old man. You were sure he had an addiction problem before by the looks of his face. It's easy to tell when you grew up with one. And worked to help those people, sacrificing everything that had the curse to be yours.

Guilt was filling the room, almost drowning you till you can’t breathe. Even if he was shit, he still cared for you. Were you this pathetic to try to crawl back in the arms of someone you attempted to murder? Yes, you were. But who cares? Who cares as long as he forgives you? You are just going to pretend everything is fine till everything is not and the cycle starts all over.

You felt even shittier when the memory of you holding the knife and sitting on his lap when he was asleep, ready to slice his throat. If your childhood self saw you like that, she would think you’re a monster.

But in the end, you were one. That’s why you have no one good enough that is willingly to stay with you.

You had willingly pushed away someone that actually cared for you without even thinking. How stupid are you to try to do that? You cared and craved the attention that came with him. You were just not used to love that you immediately persuaded it as poison.

He locked you in the same room with no food and water for 3 days. No matter how much you pleaded, he wouldn't budge in.

“Leon… Daddy… Please…” you begged again. You had already lost count of your whining and were begging for him to let you out.

“I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Please?”

Leon signed hearing your whining repeatedly in the morning before he even had his first cup of coffee. Work was already harder these past few days, your whining made it even more irritating.

Hell. He should even add a little bit of vodka in his coffee since destiny decided to play with him again.

Leon had already decided the love of his life bumped into him at the hospital, but he was starting to realize it was an illusion his heart made to bear with the pain of real life struggles.

Leon was starting to see the truth that you will never be someone he wanted. All he ever dreamed of was the perfect american dream where he had a beautiful wife and a few kids running around his house. If the Raccoon city event never happened, he wouldn’t even have looked your way.

You were rude, wild, inconsiderate, and lacked motherly instincts. Leon was not even sure if you thought like a normal person. He was not blind to your personality. When he was carefully selecting you as his future wife and the mother of his kids, he noticed quite a lot of details.

The way you responded to children crying, someone immature, or confused people asking for help or getting unlucky in life, he took notes of how you stare at them and how you respond with your body language.

He knew you were not a good person. He knew you wouldn’t be a good, caring mother.

Despite the fact he refused to acknowledge your real self, he had hoped someday you will grow to love him and want to have children of your own. Little did he know, he felt angry at himself for giving you too much hope.

In his own delusion, Leon thought you completely had given up the thought to escape and run away. Never in a million years, he would have imagined you holding a knife and almost killing him.

Now, he didn’t even know if you were the right choice to go with for the rest of his life.

But listening to your pleas, apologizing, and regrets pulled a string in his heart he hadn’t acknowledged since he was twenty something.

Maybe you realized you were nothing without him. You didn’t have the basic needs of a human if he didn’t bother to notice you. You should be grateful. You should be grateful he takes care of you better than he takes care of himself. You should be grateful he chose to save you from your miserable little life before him.

But hearing your cries changed his already made up mind. It was something he would only do for you. Something he hoped that would change your mind about starting a family.

Leon stared down at you with a cold glare as you whined pathetically before crawling and hugging his legs as you sobbed like you’re at your father's funeral.

As much as he loves his parents, only one memory is engraved on his mind from his childhood. He remembers that day, clearer than water. Holding a bare white rose while people stared at the big hole in the ground as his parents were put to peaceful sleep forever without anyone interrupting them again.

Standing there alone and confused why his parents would never come back. What did his parents do to be killed like that? Still to this day, Leon doesn’t have any idea why his parents were targeted out of all the people in the world.

His main goal is to never let any of his children go through that pain. Not in a single day he had a moment of lasting peace. Why would he not deserve a little dose of happiness others knew the taste more than once?

You were his last hope. Last hope for a new beginning. To something he can’t have again.

“I’m sorry. Please. Daddy. I love you. Please, forgive me” you cried, sniffing your runny nose while kissing his legs. As much as you would have loved to make comments about his hairy long legs, you were not in the right position to be sarcastic.

“If you try to pull that shit again, your “daddy, i love you” is not going to work again.” he muttered before grabbing your wrists, pulling you up.

“See what happens when you disobey me?” Leon eyed your tired figure from the lack of food, shower and him.

“I won’t do it again. I promise.” you muttered, hugging him hesitantly. It was a strange feeling for you. Even before you were forced to show affection, you never felt genuine enough to hug a person before. Sometimes rare visitors would hug you, it only gave you ick.

Something about it made me want to cry, while something else was making you angry at Leon. Where did his promise of taking care of you no matter what went when he was mad? Were you just a little toy for him to abandon when life gives him something sour? Is he someone that would abandon you at your lowest just like everyone else?

Walking into the kitchen you were greeted with a vegetable soup with a slice of bread, poured in the plastic bowl he bought for you specifically.

“Eat well.” Leon muttered as he sat next, watching you devour the food.

“Slower. It's not good for the body”

After a few minutes of eating, he brought you into the bedroom, showering you carefully before helping you put on a fresh set of pajamas.

“Sleep” Leon muttered as he laid beside, kissing your temple.

Warm, soft blanket made you feel like a newborn being swaddled in its mothers tight embrace. After spending 3 nights on the cold flooring of the house, the bed felt like heaven.

Not to mention the fact, after a while Leon would occasionally rub your clit through your pants or give your nipple a hard pinch enough to awaken something in your belly.

As much as he missed you, Leon quickly learned you were even worse than him somehow. The way you begged for another round at 2 am at night proved everything he needed to know.

“My baby missed me so much. Huh?” the older man smirked, feeling you clench as his pace increased. Your hands went back to the bed sheets while you babbled nonsense.

“You see how much I love you?” Leon muttered as he stared at your dilated eyes.

As you nodded, he felt a satisfaction he hadn’t experienced in a while. Soon he felt himself finish inside you.

“Promise me. Promise me that you would love me forever”

You took a long shaky breath, brain foggy from the your body was being warmed by his warm cum.

“I will… I will as long as you do” you said as Leon captured your lips in a passionate long kiss. Spit connecting you two still as he pulled away. “Sweet dreams baby”

Next chapter start: Leon grinned to himself as he started connecting all the clues God left for him. Your moody, bratty behavior, sweet cravings, morning sickness. He was trying to tell Leon his dreams are coming soon.

Now that he knew you were with a healthy child, he was never going to let you go. If he had to fight for the sake of his child, he wouldn’t hesitate even if it’s you. After all, a child was more important than your temporary stupidity.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon kennedy angst #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy imagine #leon s kennedy #re6 leon #yandere #yandere leon #yandere leon kennedy #leon s kennedy x y/n #leon s kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy smut #last hope

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ssruis · 4 months ago

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Rui is so funny because he’s like “yeah my childhood was so long ago and tbh I’m over all of that and it didnt impact me at all :)” And then all of his actions regarding wxs in the early days are colored by his childhood in that he kept expecting rejection. Him socializing now is the same thing. Curtain call? His actions are explained by his childhood. To this day he is still hiding parts of himself from wxs (“selfish” actions in ohe, arkland offer, etc). And Every Single Time he realizes that yes his childhood is still affecting him he’s like “odd. I thought I was over that. Anyways!”

I’m incompatible with people and they’ll reject me anyways so why bother trying to make friends -> ok well now I have friends but surely they’ll leave me too. -> ok they won’t leave me but they’re a special case everyone else is still gonna reject me -> ok my peers have come around on me but I’m still gonna find rejection somewhere. Surely it will happen again. (Believes this is a normal and healthy thought process)

1. Every time he takes one step towards healing or processing things he’s like “yeah I’ve completed the process and now I’m done being affected by my childhood” and then when he is again behaving in a way that shows he’s not actually over it he’s like “huh. I guess I wasn’t totally over it. But this time I’m for realsies over it (he is wrong).” Rinse and repeat.

“I have friends now so I’m over it -> my friends have affirmed they won’t leave me for being Too Much. So now I’m over it -> my peers have started to come around on me so now I’m completely over it -> my friends actually care about me as a person? Crazy. Well now I’m actually over it for real this time. -> there are others who want to be my friend? How novel. This time I’m for sure over it. -> etc etc”

2. Wonder Halloween showed him that his friends won’t reject him for his passion in shows but him being passionate and caring about having friends and staying with them is such a new thing for him (caring about something other than his goals? To this degree? To the point where it even surpasses his love for shows? he never saw this as a possibility) that like. Subconsciously (at least) he’s viewing that passion for his friends as Too Much. They didn’t leave him for shows yeah but surely they’ll reject him for the heinous crime of Loving His Friends Too Much (he is Fucking Stupid). Better reel it in because if they know how much he cares they’re gonna leave. “I’m being selfish because I care so much and clearly this is abnormal and wrong” said by the guy experiencing friendship emotions for the first time in his life (he does not understand these emotions. so something must be wrong with him)

Tsukasa/emu/nene: we love you and love performing together and the thought of separating one day is heart wrenching and we want to postpone that as long as possible

Rui: I am feeling the exact same way. but my feelings are wrong. & I will be getting a bad grade in friendship.

Hence the constant “ok we’re getting a little too vulnerable time to start up the jokes and japes again. I can’t let my friends who love me so so much know that I care about them a lot”

#is he stupid? I think he’s stupid.#don’t get on me for calling him a dumbass the call is coming from inside the house. why do you think I Get Him. stupid recognizes stupid.#mine #rui #analysis

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bloodlust-1 · 1 year ago

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༻ 3 Nights ༺ part 6

Gortash x fem Tav — mini series Explicit 18+

Summary: Gortash invites Tav to stay 3 days at his palace for the sake of an alliance. Reluctantly, she compromises for peace and it becomes an experience they won’t forget.

Part one -> here <-

Tav and her companions made their way to the lower city, the weight of recent events heavy on her mind. She had just helped Astarion in killing Cazador, a task that had taken its toll on both of them. It ached her heart to see Astarion so depressed in the days following the encounter. Despite her own inner turmoil, she had prioritized aiding her companions over fulfilling her treaty with Gortash by postponing killing Orin. However, Tav was aware that the time has come to prioritize Orin’s death, today.

As Tav walked with her group, engaging about their next target, Gale suddenly interrupted with a sense of urgency. “Tav, you’re going to want to see this,” he said, his voice tinged with concern. As he extended the Gazette, the newspaper’s headline caught Tav’s attention. “It’s not good,” Gale added gravely.

Tav scrunched her eyebrows in confusion as she read the front headline of the newspaper: “Adventurers or Absolutists? All you need to know.”

She crumpled the paper between her fingers, she irritated my whispered to herself, “No, no, no, no…” She looked up at her friends with a mixture of disbelief and annoyance, “Who would write something like this? Those damn journalists, always peeking their noses into things they don’t understand!”

"Shit. that damn Gazzette... well at least the paper didn't mention what we looked like. But we don't have enough time before they do." Karlach added as she peeked over Tav's shoulder, frowning at the text.

"Damn it." She ripped off the first page, folding up the paper and stuffed it into her pocket. "For as much as I would love this fix this now, we need to get going. I bet Orin has something to do with this." Tav started to walk ahead of everyone.

“Wait, where are we going?” Gale chimed in, running from the back to accompany Tav’s side.

“To the sewers, we’re killing her today.” Tav held her head high, her vision blurring red with anger. The injustice of it all had reached a boiling point, and she could no longer tolerate the slanderous rumors that spread like wildfire.

"Oh, what fun!" A small giggle left Astarion's lips. "But please, do watch where you step. It smells vile down there." Despite the evident disgust on his face, there was a slight hint of excitement in his eyes.

In the city, the wait has finally come to an end. The bloodshed in the name of Bhaal would no longer taunt the people. What started as a rather tedious quest turned into a ritual with pure malice, culminating in the lifeless body of Orin in its inhuman form - a sight straight out of the hells. Killing Orin was no easy task; it required everything they had to take her down. Tav, witnessing the evil firsthand, realized that Orin was even more twisted than Gortash. Finally fulfilling Gortash’s request to rid the world of Orin, Tav now prepared to pay him a visit. But first, she sought healing from Halsin after nearly exhausting all her strength in the battle against Orin.

“Thank you, Halsin.” Tav calmly spoke to him as his hands glowed in pure magic, his hands cleansed her body of any pain. Only leaving behind the small cuts and bruises.

“I really hate seeing you like this. You should not be the one covered in bruises.” He had a sadness in his eyes. No woman should be bruised to this extent.

“Well you know we really haven’t gotten much of a choice lately. I’m just glad we have someone like you here with us.”

Halsin’s gentle touch and intense gaze had a calming effect on Tav, relaxing her body and mind. The silence between them was noticable, and Tav couldn’t help but feel a little nervous under his watchful eye. Tav found herself drawn to Halsin’s intelligence and the way he made her feel like he was always looking out for her well-being. Not to mention how handsome she found him.

However, there was something about Halsin that didn’t quite click for Tav. Perhaps it was his almost fatherly demeanor, or the fact that he was always so sweet and caring. Whatever it was, it made her feel like she had to be careful around him, like she was constantly on edge. Tav was able to be as raunchy as she wanted around Gortash, which made her feel more comfortable to voice her feelings around him. Even if it was mostly banter.

Despite that, he was pleasant eye candy. Her eyes matched with his for a moment before embarrassingly averting her gaze away. Halsin chuckled to himself from the flush of her cheeks. “All done then.”

Halsin instinctively withdrew his hands and took a subtle step backward, his eyes lingering on her figure as he assessed her. “You’re truly beautiful,” he murmured softly, his voice carrying a tenderness that was unmistakable. He always worried about her health and it always felt nice to be valued by him so dearly. He did make her nervous everytime something flirtatious left his mouth.

“Thanks so much again. I’ve got to clear some things up, I’ll be heading out for now.” She looked at him with grateful eyes, giving Halsins hand a slight squeeze in return with a smile. He returned her gratitude, “Do you want me to come with you?”

“Oh no, it’s okay Halsin, really. You’ve done enough. Rest.” Tav patted his hand before grabbing her bag. She opened it to reveal Orin's twisted red knife, its blade covered in old dried blood and adorn with a nether stone. Tav ripped out the stone and handed it to Halsin, “Take this and keep it safe while I’m gone.”

Halsin took the stone and simply nodded to her favor. Tav was grateful to have such loyalty. Her eyes wandered to his biceps before shaking herself out of that naughty head space, “thank you.”

“You have a sparkle in your eyes as of lately. Though— I know it isn’t for me. Who is giving you such a spark in those eyes?”

Tav’s voice quivered as she spoke, “I— Halsin, there’s nobody…” Her words trailed off, leaving an awkward silence in the air. Shit. Tav felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment, wondering if Halsin had caught on to something. Frantically searching for an excuse, she stammered, “Maybe it’s because of everyone’s company that I’m so grateful for.”

“Perhaps.” He once again smiled with knowing eyes at Tav before walking back towards his tent.

There was still daylight outside, and Tav had plenty of time to visit Gortash, even though it had been a week since she properly visited him. He had been popping up unannounced to talk to her whenever he caught her alone throughout the city. Tav was sure he wanted to speak with her, especially after Orin’s death.

Tav dressed down in a loose-fitting brown blouse and paired it with fitted pants to create a balanced look. Her hair fell loose, falling just below her hips. With her traveling bag in hand, she started her small journey to the palace, determined to prove to Gortash that Orin was no longer a threat and that their deal could finally be fulfilled. She had, after all, taken care of Orin, ensuring all business between them.

Upon entering into the palace Tav immediately called out for him. Yet, no response. Tav scoped the halls of the palace and called out a servant, “Hey, do you know where Gortash is?”

The servant, startled, responded, “O-oh, lady Tav! It’s you… He’s in his chambers.”

Tav thanked the woman before heading to his room. She’d never been in his chambers and it felt a bit too personal. As she approached the door, her heart quickened with anticipation. Should she simply open the door and enter, announce herself, or linger outside until he noticed her presence? The array of choices overwhelmed her momentarily, but Tav ultimately keep a high head and opened the door. She called out his name before hearing thunking noises hit the floor.

“Who dares to barge—“ Gortash stormed out of the bathroom, his body drenched from head to toe, a towel slung low on his hips. Water droplets rolled off his black locks and plopped onto his collarbones, leaving behind a trail of glistening beads. His eyes blazed with irritation as he confronted Tav, who stood frozen in the doorway, her mouth agape in disbelief.

She caught a glimpse of the trail of hair that ran from his chest down to his groin and disappeared into the tucked towel. As her eyes followed the path, she instantly averted her gaze. Turning around, she focused on the door, trying to distract herself from what she had just seen. “Fuck! You don't have to come stomping out half naked!“ Tav’s cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her. She could feel the heat rising from her neck to her face, making her feel like she was melting in her boots.

“My favorite assassin, how have you been?” Gortash completely disregarded the fact that he barely clothed. His demeanor was nonchalant and pleased to see Tav at this moment. It was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. Instead of walking away to cover himself, he walked over to Tav’s turned back. “I was waiting for you to come tell me good news. So—“

Tav took a deep breath before answering, "Orin, she's dead." With a steady hand, she retrieved the blade from her bag and turned back to face Gortash, the weapon glinting in the light. His eyes flickered momentarily to the knife before returning to her face, his gaze piercing and intense. Tav felt a shiver run down her spine as she took in the deep scar on his chin, her mind racing with the desire to trace its path with her fingertips.

Gortash’s expression softened as he accepted the knife from Tav, there's a glint of satisfaction in his eyes. He casually discarded the weapon, letting it clatter to the floor without a second thought. His attention then shifted to Tav’s clothing. The blouse was far too big for her, and it masked her femine figure turing all her delicate curves into a shapless jumble. Not even the color suited her in the best way possible. Gortash thought he'd rather see her in a bra than the ugly shirt. He spoked up with a sense of cockiness, "I hate this color on you. Actually�� the entire shirt is not flattering, really."

Tav’s mouth fell open in a mix of shock and offense. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “I came here to tell you the greatest news you'll ever hear in your pathetic life, and all you can do is criticize my clothes? How classy of you,” she scoffed, her tone dripping with disbelief. Tav rolled her eyes in frustration. It seemed like he always found a way to ruin any moment of connection and attraction. “And for gods sake, put some damn clothes on…”

"The dagger— It's a lovely souvenier, dear." Gortash added as he dug into his drawers for clothes and sloppily dressed himself despite judging Tav for her unflattering blouse. "It's good that you came, I want to hear all about that fight." The shift in his demeanor caught Tav off guard – was he truly intrigued by her battle with Orin? It was an unexpected moment of connection amidst their otherwise mundane interactions.

"oh, sure..."

As they walked, Gortash led Tav to the back of the palace, where a vast and stunning garden awaited them. The garden was adorned with an array of bushes, flowers, and lush greenery, creating a picturesque scene that left Tav breathless with awe. Gortash, observed her reaction, tilted his head, and stared in approval by her response. It was a moment he could speak with her out of the stone walls, one that he knew he would never share with anyone else.

“You are a force to be reckoned with,” Gortash remarked with confidence as he looked at Tav. “I am glad that you are on my side.” His words carried a sense of trust and appreciation, hinting at the possibility of a newfound understanding between them. Tav had just completed an exceptionally important task for Gortash, and it seemed that this act had solidified a bond of trust between them. Perhaps she wouldn’t betray him after all.

"You're welcome. It was a pleasure killing her." Tav admittingly let the dark thought slip her lips. The weight of her words hit her, and she widened her eyes in realization of what she had just admitted. Instantly, she flashed an embarrassed smile at Gortash, acknowledging the sudden darkness of her confession. “She gave me one hell of a hard time… she almost killed me, to be honest,” Tav confessed with a tinge of sadness in her voice. She lowered her tone as she continued, “She turned into this— monster. It was like something straight out of the hells.”

Tav had to grapple with the impact of the horrific encounter with Orin. The weight of her words lingered in the air, painting a vivid picture of the intensity and trauma Tav had to endure. Tav felt a bit defeated in the moment, this fight took a lot of her mentally and physically.

In the midst of a tense atmosphere, Gortash chuckled at Tav's grave confession, "Am I rubbing off on you, little hero?" His words injected a small sense of light into the heavy air, although he could discern the challenge in her eyes. Seeking to reassure her, Gortash offered his support, "If there is ever a problem, you can come to me. After all, we are allies now, offically." A tinge of his voice felt cocky and playful at the end.

Tav smiled slightly and nodded her head to his offer. She felt like he was actually being genuine for once and it was a good palette cleanser to what she was used to.

They walked down a carved out stone path into the garden side by side. They were silent for the most part admiring the scenray and company. Tav bite down on her lower lip as many thoughts flowed into her head. Mostly that she now felt insecure in the baggy blouse she wore that he clearly hated so much. It felt strange to suddenly care about what he thought of her appearance.

A fleeting image of Tav’s face crossed his mind as they walked in silence. Gortash was captivated by the delicate features that seemed out of place in the harsh world he ruled. Gortash peered over his shoulder to peek at her. He found himself admiring how silky her hair was and how it curled at the end.

Gortash’s thoughts of Tav were a dangerous indulgence, one that made him vulnerable in a way he couldn’t afford. Yet, he couldn’t deny the allure of Tav’s beauty, a beauty that seemed to defy the darkness that surrounded them. Even in the brown top that consumed her natural curves, Tav was like forbidden fruit in their small bond.

But in rare moments of vulnerability, Gortash found himself lost in thoughts of Tav’s face, her silky hair, and the longing that stirred within him.

During their time apart, he watched over Tav with a keen eye, particularly noticing the stares of her companion. These stares were not just casual glances, but rather intense, lingering looks that seemed to bore into her very being. Jealousy crept under his skin like a slow-burning fire, fueled by the memories of that wizards lustful stares.

Gortash’s voice erupted abrasively from his thoughts, catching Tav's attention. The question that followed was rather random, laced with a hint of jealousy that lingered in the air. "Whose that pathetic wizard in the group? He's always staring at you."

Tav tilted her head up questionably as she stopped in her tracks, “He’s my friend. And what does it matter with you anyways?” She crossed her arms with curiosity.

In a flat, lifeless tone, Gortash elaborated his jealous statement, “Because he thinks he stands a chance with you.”

Tav was taken aback by the harshness of his jealousy. She couldn’t help but mock his behavior, “Maybe he does? He’s intelligent, sweet, and far from a homicidal maniac.” Tav playfully teased him, “What? Do you really think you stand a chance?”

Gortash let out a small, evil chuckle as he grabbed Tav’s wrist and pulled her body closer to his. His hands firmly grasped the top of her hips, closing the gap between them. With a menacing expression, he brought his face dangerously close to hers and whispered in a mean tone, “Do I not?”

Tav's eyes widdened from his advances in surprise and then responded flusteredly with a firm “No.” She shook her head in denial softly.

His index fingers traced sensually around her hips. “That’s hard to believe when your face is like this. Such big eyes that plead,” he said, gazing into her widened glossy eyes. His tone was filled with domination.

Tav could feel his gaze drilling into her, could feel the heat of his body radiating towards her. She closed her eyes, her heart racing as she waited for him to make his move.

And then, without warning, he leaned in. His lips brushed against hers lightly, then finding a sweet spot. Tav's pulse raced as she felt a rush of excitement. Kissing so openly during daylight. But Gortash’s gentle touch was reassuring, and she found herself melting into his tighten embrace.

Their lips moved together, soft and dominating, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths. They gasped for air between heated kisses. Tav felt a rush of emotions, her heart pounded in her chest as she wrapped her arms around Gortash’s neck, deepening the kiss. The world around them melted away, leaving only the two of them, locked in a passionate kiss.

As they kissed, Gortash’s grip on her tightened, pulling her closer to him. Tav felt a surge of desire, her body responding with goosebumps from his touch. Her knees grew shakey, and a growing heat tickled her body. Gortash held any additional weight that Tav lost in her legs.

His hands slipped down to her thighs, scooping her thighs up to wrap around his slender waist. Tav’s hands lovingly caressed the sides of his stubbled face, as their lips hungerly devouring the bitterness away. Tav finally traced the pad of her thumb over the deep scar on his chin.

Gortash held her body close, propping her against the nearest pillar. His hand gripped her neck, firmly holding her jaw. He pressed his hips against hers eagerly, causing Tav to let out a soft whimper of surprise. “N-Not here, not now,” she whispered.

“Isn’t this what you want— To surrender to me? " He huskily asked between the kisses. he whispered, his voice filled with desire. His intense gaze locked with hers as he spoke. Gortash's brown eyes fell into a half opened state.

Tav giggled softly against his lips, her eyes sparkling with mischief. The look on her face was a sight to behold, a mix of playfulness and determination that made Gortash’s heart race. She couldn’t give in so easily to have him devour her so shamelessly in his garden, not when there was still so much to explore and discover.

Tav teased him in a whisper, breaking free from his hold and taking a step back. “I never surrender, you should know that,” she said, her voice firm and seductive. Her feet touched the ground once more, and she stared flirtatiously up at Gortash, her eyes daring him to try and catch her. “I would rather watch you squirm for it.”

Tav blushed through out the teasing smiles. She reached into her pocket and unfolded the ripped newspaper article, "I expect you to fix this however."

“Mmm, tempting.” Gortash clicked his tongue in the lost of her warmth. His eyes fixated on the news clipping, he took it softly from her hands.

"Thank you— Enver." Tav smiled confidentalty at him, her hands were clasped behind her back as she began to walk backward, then turned around completely to leave the palace. Tav enjoyed keeping him on his toes. She noticed how easily he aimed to please her, and she was keenly aware of the power of her desirability over him.

To Be Continued ~

Any Thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!

Shout out to the ones who’ve been following this story! You guys give me so much inspiration to keep the updates coming🫶🏼 hope you enjoyed gortash kisses, mwuah.

Next part here

#bg3 tav #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fluff #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #enver gortash #gortash x durge #dark urge x gortash #tav x gortash #gortash smut #gortash x tav #gortash x reader #lord gortash #bg3 gortash #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion

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agent-44mc · 10 days ago

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a mission of liberation. 1995. part one

Pairing: Winter Soldier x Red Guardian

Warnings: none, so far.

Summary: Four years after meeting the Winter Soldier, Alexi Shostakov finds himself face to face with the man he once knew. SHIELD assigns him the mission to find and liberate him.

Word Count: 1k

notes: I don’t know where exactly this is going, I usually don’t do this, but I’m so excited about this ship I had to do something. I'm shrugging right now but in a way that i definitely know instead of what the shrug implies. tee hee. because it's so clear they should fuck so it will happen, trust. also this is unedited. i don't have time for that.

edit: why didn’t any of you tell me I was spelling Alexei wrong? I am betrayed and hurt. next chapter postponed.

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐

Alexi had a good life, doing what he loved. A nice house, a dog, a job that he loved more than anything in the world, students that maybe hated him, even a potential girlfriend. Everyone knew him to be a kind spirit, maybe annoying at times with his loud personality, but after he walks through the doors of his beautiful house, feeds his dog, eats his homemade all american meal, and lays down to sleep in his goose feather bed, he thinks of someone he misses so dearly.

Someone he knew as his best friend.

And it didn’t feel good to think about him , like Alexi would die for it to be. His chest eroded anytime his existence was uttered by his subconscious while his mind was at rest. His “good life” kept the thoughts of him at bay, but every night, the guilt only made it worse.

A smile shouldn’t haunt a man. Often, when the Red Guardian thought of the brutal brainwashing his lost friend had been subjected to, he couldn't help but think of his smile when he resisted it.

The worst part, somehow, was that he didn’t even know his name. Neither of them did- but at least “The Coney Island Hero” wasn’t subjected to remembering that someone had given him that nickname. Alexi was left to suffer that.

But there are many distractions from this- one being that he now leads a double life, working for SHIELD, doing hero-work, an umbrella term to describe anything from shutting down Nuclear Cold-War weapons and saving people from burning buildings- sometimes even cats. The bastardly things.

Until one day, on a mission, he saw someone he’d been dreaming about.

Alexi never went a day without seeing the shadow of The Coney Island Hero, which is why he almost brushed it aside, but then, he slapped him right in the face- which proved nothing. He was seeing The Winter Soldier now. The Shadow of The Coney Island Hero laid in him, even if he might not remember it.

There’s one who does though, and Alexi knew that this time, he wasn’t going to lose him. He was going to liberate him, in a true American fashion.

Brainwashing goes both ways. Alexi was going to brainwash the winter soldier back to the man he knew. The man that deserved to live a life free.

And for reasons unknown to him, there was something deeper stirring under the surface of this fundamental belief. Something… personal.

MISSION REPORT. 1995.

“Get that crying baby out of here, I’m trying to talk to the woman,” Alexi ordered, slamming a fist on Peggy’s desk with a scowl. “This is important, little girl!”

The baby mirrored his scowl. “I’m thwee,” she said, sticking out her tongue and holding her Dad’s hand a little tighter.

“You are a very cute baby, I cannot stay angry for long,” Alexi gave in, waving as she walked out, grinning ear to ear at the sight. “Goodbye baby.”

Silence wavered between them as Alexi smiled silently, staking in the sights of the stuffy brown office that overlooked the streets of New York City, various noises fading into white noise as he let himself drift away to another place. It was subconscious at this point.

Coney Island. He’d been there several times hoping to run into its hero.

He stayed there until a British accent woke him back up. “Alexi, you came here very passionate about something, would you like to… elaborate further on what you saw?”

“Uh, what?” Alexi stuttered, “oh, yes. The Winter Soldier. I saw him there, Agent Carter. I knew him, yes I knew him well. He liberated me.”

“The Winter Soldier? He’s a myth.. An urban legend. What makes you think you know him?” Peggy inquirered, grabbing her reading glasses from the desk in front of her, holding her files out far enough to see.

Alexi laughed. “You cannot fool me, Agent Carter. I know you know what you say isn’t true. You may be the supreme leader of SHIELD, but I was a supreme leader of the Red Room. I knew of the Winter Soldier. But then, I knew him. He didn’t know himself though.”

She looked at him through her glasses. “Alright, fine. He does exist. But you aren’t supposed to know that. It’s what we’d all like to keep a secret.” Peggy became somber, setting down her files. “What do you mean he didn’t know himself?”

“I mean,” Alexi began. “We bonded. He got us French fries, we had jokes, and I tried to help him remember what his name was. The best he could do was Coney Island. That means he was the hero, no?”

“The hero? I doubt he was ever a hero. I don’t know who-“

“But he doesn’t remember. He used to be someone! Someone who is no one wouldn’t remember Coney Island,” Alexi said in confidence, his eyes traveling to outside the window once more. “Even if he wasn’t, he deserves to live free.”

“You’re saying that the Winter Soldier was brainwashed?” Peggy asked, practically in disbelief as her soldiers squared, only slightly looking down at her feet when Alexi earnestly nodded his head.

She got up and walked around the room, seemingly deep in thought about something, in such a manor that made him twist his fingers anxiously in wait for whatever she was going to say next. Perhaps “you’re crazy, we’re taking your job and your money.” or worse, “there’s nothing we can do.”.

Finally, she said, “Alexi, I’m giving you a mission.”

Alexi shot up like lighting to his feet, turning around the face Peggy, who had her hands neatly clasped behind her back, a serious look of final determination on her aged face.

“Yes ma’am?” Alexi asked, his heart practically breaking through his ribs.

“Find and free The Winter Soldier.”

<> part 2 out now

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ficcidio · 1 year ago

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LAST TIME

“this is the last time i’m asking you this, put my name on the top of your list”

pairing: fiancé!seungmin x reader

genre: angst

warnings: idol seungmin x non idol reader, cursing, crying, fighting (verbally ofc), not proofread and i think that’s it

a/n: this was initially written for bangchan but i changed it hehe, im sorry to always make you suffer i just love angst 😔

now playing: last time by taylor swift

— 시작

another sleepless night waiting for seungmin to arrive home. you knew he was working, he worked so, so hard, but sometimes you needed a little bit of comfort too. he didn’t feel like your boyfriend anymore, for the past month he hadn’t been your lovely significant other, he was just someone you occasionally saw around the house and hardly ever woke up next to.

it was heartbreaking to think he didn’t love you anymore like he used to. you couldn’t remember the last time you even touched each other in a meaningful way. it had been months since you had sex and probably weeks since you last kissed. you remember it so well, you both would kiss until you lips hurt, sang your favorite songs at the top of your lungs in midnight and stargazed until you fell asleep on each other.

pain. grief. that was all you could feel. that was all you had felt for the past month and it was getting tiring.

“don’t wait for me awake” he told you many times, but you wanted to spend at least a little bit of time with him, so you forced yourself to stay awake until he arrived, and that drove him mad.

since he proposed to you and you moved in together, it felt as if he didn’t want to see you outside your house. as if it was enough for him to share a bed. he didn’t take you on dates, he didn’t call you special pet names. it seemed like all his feelings disappeared, and you were terrified.

03:39 a.m, he still wasn’t there. your eyes now felt heavy and you thought that it was time to sleep, but a sudden wave of anxiety and fear hit you and your eyes filled with tears. you allowed yourself to cry, to let everything you’ve been hiding out.

the door opened, silently, seungmin trying not to wake you up. what he didn’t know is that you were more than awake.

he opened the bedroom door only to hear your silent cry. he stayed there, not knowing what to do. as you hadn’t been as close, he didn’t know how to comfort you anymore. after seconds of thinking, he decided to just stay by your side without saying a word. you felt the other side of the bed heavier, meaning he laid there. next to you. without touching you or comforting you.

you were so, so tired of this happening. you didn’t want to say anything, you really didn’t, but without meaning to, you exploded.

“you enjoy watching me cry?” you whispered, staring at him with no fear. you knew he didn’t, but maybe it didn’t bother him either

“what are you talking about?” he asked shyly, barely daring to look at you. you laughed ironically and rolled your eyes to show your disappointment,

you took a few seconds to make sure you really wanted what you were about to say, and you decided yes, you were sure. you took off your promise ring and took his hand – the first contact you had in weeks – to leave it there. he looked at it, unsure if he understood it right. you couldn’t be doing that, right? no, thus couldn’t be happening he repeated in his head again and again, but not even one word dared to escape his lips. instead, his eyes watered slowly, watching every move you made. you stood up and walked to the living room, he instantly followed you.

“what? y/n, what do you mean by this?” he insisted

“i mean just what you’re thinking” you stated “i don’t want to marry you, seungmin”

his name felt so dry on your lips now, his heart froze.

“what? why? was it too early? we can postpone it, don’t worry…” he tried to fix it, he tried to pretend he didn’t know the reason but of course he did.

you cut him off instantly “you know damn well why” you simply answered, letting him think. you couldn’t say much more, you would break down if you tried

“no- why are you doing this to me?” he yelled, following you as you walked around the house. when you stopped, he also did right in front of you and you had to see his crystallized eyes, they showed so much pain, but you wouldn’t believe it after all he did

“to you?! i’m the one doing something to you, seungmin? am i hurting you?” you yelled “for three weeks you don’t bother touching me, asking me how my day was, nothing at all! and i’m the one hurting you? you arrive past midnight in a bad mood, only to sleep peacefully without even saying goodnight! how do you settle with just sharing a fucking bed?! how on earth is that enough for you?!” you screamed, looking at his eyes. embarrassment was shown in his, while his lower lip trembled a little

“you don’t care, do you? you don’t give a single shit for my feelings or anyone else’s! you’re just like everyone else” you continued to scream with all the energy left in you while he just looked at you speechless. the sadness and loneliness suddenly hit you and the tears started falling as you calmed down a little “i don’t even know if you love me anymore” you said with a cracked voice, trying to hold yourself from crying, but you couldn’t

“y/n–“ he tried to talk, but of course, you didn’t let him.

“and the worse part is that i love you. i love you so much, seungmin, but i am just so tired” you breathed out. “so tired of eating dinner alone a-and watching you treat everyone else so nicely when you act like i’m not here, and i’m so tired of… everything. i’m tired of this. i love you, i really did want to marry you, but it’s getting tiring to wait for you until midnight…”

“i told you not to wait for me” he interrupted you

“this is not about fucking waiting! you’re not here seungmin, nor physically or emotionally!” you screamed again, regretting it right after when you saw tears falling down his cheeks “i’ve asked to many times to put me on the top of your list and you just… disappear again, and again, and again”

“and i am struggling so much, but you don’t care enough to notice. you didn’t even care when i was crying…” you whispered

“i did care but you were-“ he tried to talk, but you didn’t let him.

“no you fucking didn’t! you have no fucking excuses seungmin. despite all the things i’ve done for you, everything i’ve risked you still don’t care! i am tired of being strong and i’m tired of acting like i don’t care when behind closed doors this is all i feel! i feel trapped!” you screamed “it’s not your fault seungmin but i miss you, i miss my boyfriend, the boy who asked me to marry him, i miss who you used to be, and i know it’s hurtful to hear but it’s true. you’re not here for me. i just want you to realize i’m in pain, seung. do you love me?” you asked

“y/n, calm do-“

“do you fucking love me anymore? you don’t! you don’t love me you’re just faking it! you’re a fucking pretender” you pointed at him “liar! you’re a liar, look at what you’ve done! i hate you! i hate you so fucking much!” you index was now hitting his chest and you suddenly collapsed into his arms, as if all the anger you once felt had disappeared, you just needed him close.

you cried in his arms while you heard his quiet sobs, you waited for him to answer. though, after all you said, you wouldn’t be surprised if he hated you now.

after a few seconds, you started to feel desperate when he didn’t answer. maybe he was mad at you. you pulled away and looked in his eyes.

“i don’t-“

he interrupted you “i’m so sorry, y/n…” seungmin muttered “i didn’t… i-i… i’m so sorry…”

“seungmin… i didn’t mean it” you said, feeling regret from every hurtful word you said to him “i don’t hate you…”

“i know, y/n. i’m so sorry, i- didn’t expect you to be in so much pain, it’s my fault”

“it’s not, you didn’t know” you tried to defend him

“it is. i’m sorry, i promise you this won’t happen again, i promise will be fine please- please just stay with me”

…

“always”

#skz #straykids #ficcidio #stray kids #kpop #skz fluff #stray kids x reader #seungmin #seungmin x reader #seungmin angst #seungmin fluff

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mindfulstudyquest · 8 months ago

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starve your ego, find your peace

these are my personal thoughts, an outburst. if you want to share your opinion in the comments, i welcome it, but please be kind. if you just want to insult, go elsewhere. if you're not interested, don't read <3 i remind you that english is not my first language, so there may be a few mistakes.

ego, what an interesting word. it is a latin lemma which literally means "I", it indicates

the self, especially with a sense of self-importance.

(psychology, freudian) the most central part of the mind, which mediates with one's surroundings.

a person's self-esteem and opinion of themselves.

in a society like ours, we fight against our ego every day, the anxiety of constantly being in the spotlight, the overwhelming thought of having all eyes on us.

the idea we have of ourselves is the strongest chain that prevents us from freeing ourselves from this mental cage. both positively and negatively. if you have a distorted idea of yourself and low self-esteem, you will never be able to become your higher-self, to take that extra step that allows you to transform your daydreams into a solid reality, if you think you are unintelligent, you will tend to take this truth for granted. "i'm not smart enough for this" and you'll give up your dreams of a higher education, or of getting all A's on your finals, or of having a great and fulfilling job.

but sometimes we think too highly of ourselves too. i always joke that i make study plans like i'm a genius who studies 200 pages in a day, but the truth is, i'm not joking at all.

many of you will recognize themselves in the stereotype of the burned-out gifted kid, especially when you move to a higher level of education (from middle school to high school, or from high school to university) and at that moment all certainty of your acclaimed intelligence collapses. you are no longer in the pond with the small fish, now you are in the big tank with the big fish, relating to a much bigger world (at least in italy, the difference between high school and university is abysmal) and your brain will do everything to maintain an accurate simulacrum of your self-image.

in fact, your brain spends less energy processing two pieces of information that agrees rather than disagreeing information and since our biology is based on self-preservation, your mind will do everything to preserve its rightness. when i started university i was incredibly afraid of taking my first exam, why? because i didn't want to find out that i wasn't good enough for a more advanced education, that i wasn't the straight A's student i thought i was.

but waiting for the fear to go away will lead to you staying in the same place forever, because the fear only goes away if you face what you are afraid of, and yes, being afraid of exams may seem silly, but i'm sure many people who follow this blog will understand what it means to identify so much with your grades and to crave academic validation more than anything else.

so i did it, even though i was scared, i had to have the certainty that this was the right place for me, i studied hard, and i definitely rocked my exams. but then the spring exam session arrived, and the fear returned. tired and burned-out from the winter session i had little or no desire to study, so when the exam date approached, i was afraid of not achieving the same results as just two months before, so i postponed, i procrastinated, until the day before, i knew i had to study otherwise i wouldn't pass the exam, yet my brain continued to do everything to protect itself, to protect that completely crazy idea of myself that i could study the entire program in two days (i wish). i don't even have social media (tumblr and pinterest excluded), which is why i found every excuse possible not to study. i didn't want to sit at my desk and realize that i wasn't going to pass that exam, that i should have studied harder, try harder.

that is until i realized that it wasn't laziness or procrastination that was stopping me, or rather, procrastination was just a symptom of a bigger cause: a distorted image of myself. understanding this in my first year of university will perhaps change my next academic years, or perhaps not. i don't know how many of you have drawn these things or reached these conclusions, i just hope that you soon understand that you are not lazy, nor procrastinators, you are just humans who are afraid of failure like all other humans.

the problem arises now, how to change this image? i don't know yet, honestly, but i won't let it stop me from living my life.

uptade in the end i was so fucking lucky and got a 30/30 on my exam yesterday, but still at the cost of a lot of sanity, sleep and unjustified stress.

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rainintheevening · 1 month ago

Text

🍁🍁Comfy-vember 🍁🍁

Day 9: Scars

Grant Ward & Phil Coulson, Agents of SHIELD, Saving Grant Ward AU, aftermath of torture, non-sexualized bathing/washing, the author does not recommend postponing medical care for a shower

---------

The first thing Grant demanded was a shower.

"It's been three weeks, okay? You don't want me in your medbay like this."

Simmons stood with her arms crossed over her chest, frowning down at him where he sat on the Quinjet, which had just touched down in the Playground's hanger. "Just because Trip splinted your leg and I gave you some anesthetic, doesn't mean it isn't serious. You need to get the bone set, and I'm worried about infection. Never mind your shoulder—heaven only knows what those x-rays are going to look like."

Phil stayed seated, feeling Grant's weight leaning into him, though it was less than it had been before. Before Garrett, before HYDRA, before he'd been on the run. There was no denying Grant was a mess—greasy hair grown too long and falling in his eyes, ragged jacket and jeans bearing mud and tree sap smears, a fading black eye, and that nasty red scar in front of one ear that ran down to his neck. But he was here! He was safe, he was home, he was back where he belonged. Phil's kid was home again, and the joy of that overwhelmed any grief or fear for now.

"Medbay is built for messes, man." Trip grinned down at his old buddy. "Think about how many people puke in there."

"I'm with Ward," Fitz put in, hovering over Jemma's shoulder. "He should- um- er–"

"Shower." Jemma's whisper was barely audible.

"–shower if he wa-would like to."

"Thank you, Fitz." Grant opened his eyes to smile at the younger agent. "I'm taking a shower," he said again to Simmons. "I'll get back to you in an hour. In the medbay."

Phil knew that tone, and smiled up at the agents clustered in front of them, now including May; Skye lingered warily in the cockpit. It hit him suddenly that they were all here. Grant, May, Fitzsimmons, Skye, Trip. The whole team, reunited.

But he shook off the warm surge of emotion. Grant had to be cared for. "You're not budging him, guys, sorry."

"And what if you fall and break something else?" Simmons argued. "Splitting your skull open in the shower isn't exactly unheard of, and you're not exactly stable."

Grant sighed, sitting straighter so he could turn his head to look at Phil. "Dad?"

That tired little murmur had Phil swallowing hard, nodding before he answered: "Of course. Don't worry," to Simmons. "I'll go with him."

Grant shifted his weight to stand, and Phil moved quickly, ducking under the good right arm, as he levered himself up on the good left leg.

"At least let us get you a stretcher or a wheelchair." Simmons's hands fluttered out in a helpless gesture.

Stiffly, Grant patted her arm with his free hand, made more awkward by the damaged shoulder. "Thank you for your concern, Jemma. But I'm walking in there."

"He's not unconscious," Trip shrugged, moving to Grant's other side, but Fitz had beat him to it.

"Alright, we've got you," Fitz said, his arm joining Coulson's around Grant's waist.

Grant's smile was soft, and he nudged his chin against the curly hair at his shoulder. "Thanks, Leo."

The pure love and hero worship in Fitz's answering look would have melted anyone's heart.

By the time they made it to the bottom of the ramp, though, Phil was wishing Grant had taken Jemma's offer. Even with the local anesthetic in his leg, and the age of his shoulder wound, he moved slow and painful, only the hiss of his breathing betraying what must have been agony. He'd lost enough weight that Phil could have comfortably carried him, but he doubted Grant would agree to that with such an entourage.

That thought was cemented when the second set of heavy doors slid open to the main hall, and instantly a wave of applause washed over them.

Dozens of agents of all ranks and duties lined both sides of the hall, clapping and cheering as Grant stood frozen. Out of the corner of his eye, Phil saw him go first white, then red under the dirt and sweat.

"They're all the ones you saved," came May's calm voice behind them. "At Rabbit's Run and Carlton Place and Foxhole. They know what you did for them."

Most of them were hostages released in the wake of Grant's silent but deadly run on the HYDRA ranks. He'd assassinated almost a hundred HYDRA agents and operatives in the US and Europe, all in the span of two months, and while carrying a bullet in his shoulder. Not even Natasha could match that, Phil thought, pride welling in his chest.

As they came down into the hall, Agent Morse stepped forward, a genuine smile tugging at her lips.

"Baby Bird." Grant nodded at her.

"Baby Hawk." She grinned. "Welcome back."

Phil wanted to chuckle at the normalcy of their friendly banter, but he could feel Grant's arm trembling around his neck, Grant using all his strength to stand tall in front of the crowd.

"I suppose I have you to blame for this circus."

"Nah, it was Mack's idea."

"Mack." Grant smiled faintly over toward the big man. "Now if you'll excuse me, Birdy, I need a shower."

"And then medical attention," Simmons piped up rather crossly.

"Yeah, that's obvious." Concern creased Bobbi's forehead as she took in his current state. "Well, I certainly won't stand in your way." She stepped back into the line of agents on the left.

"Showers are down two levels with the bunks," Phil said softly, as they stepped forward again. "We'll take the elevator. Straight ahead, then to the right."

Grant did not reply, he was exerting every effort to limp as strongly and steadily as possible down that hall. Some of the agents they passed stood to attention and saluted, some just nodded or tapped a fist over their heart.

What a contrast to the outrage and anger that had gripped the surviving SHIELD members after they saw the footage from the Treehouse massacre—Grant Ward following John Garrett as obediently as a leashed dog. Phil, had been one of his only defenders, along with Fitzsimmons. Even when Grant had betrayed Providence, Phil had clung to his belief that his kid was just playing the game, keeping his cover by giving information that may or may not result in deaths. It was a far better idea than the alternative.

And Phil's belief had been vindicated.

Just Phil, Grant, Fitz, and Trip stepped into the elevator, and the second the doors closed, Grant sagged heavily into Phil, almost falling.

"Steady, steady!" Fitz exclaimed, then froze as his frantic tug on Grant's injured arm elicited a deep groan from him.

"Just– gimme a minute," Grant squeezed out.

"It's okay, Fitz," Phil said, hooking his fingers under Grant's belt to support him better.

It was... different sticking with an injured member of his team this far. Usually by now he'd stepped back, taking the team leader's long view, taking stock and planning what to do next, while other more qualified people did their jobs. Especially now that he was Director Coulson, and not just another agent. But this was Grant, this was his son. Grant trusted him like no one else. And Phil was more than grateful to have this time with Grant, after so long.

"I wanna sleep for a week," Grant whispered, somewhere around Phil's collar.

"That can be arranged." Trip looked both concerned and amused. "Are you sure you're up to this, man?"

Grant did not lift his head from Phil's shoulder, even as the elevator halted, and Phil barely caught his whisper: "I just want to get him off me."

Phil stiffened, and Grant straightened hastily, shaking his head. "No, no! That's not what I– I just–" He made a frustrated sound. "I smell like HYDRA," he said at last.

"You smell like shit," Trip said dryly.

"Exactly."

Phil had been blocking it out best he could, but in the narrow space of the elevator, it was impossible not to notice the reek of sweat and blood and something rotten that clung to Grant. Phil did not blame him at all for wanting that shower.

It took them another ten minutes to reach the men's showers; a long narrow space, with benches along one wall facing a row of shower heads, half enclosed, half not.

Fitz was sent for a chair, while Trip helped Phil remove the splint from Grant's leg and cut the bottom of his pant leg off so it could be put back on over bare skin.

"Are you sure you don't want me to-?" Trip held up a hand against Grant's glare. "Nah, it's okay, man. I'll leave you two to it." He glanced at Phil. "Want me and Fitz to stand guard outside?"

"One of you at least, if you wouldn't mind." He was about to ask if Trip could fetch something clean for Grant to wear, when Fitz came in, carrying the chair, and a handful of clothes.

"Agent May brought these." He held out the clothing: Grant's old Seahawks sweatshirt, a SHIELD-issue t-shirt and underwear, and a pair of flannels Phil didn't recognize. "Agent MacKenzie, er, gave the trousers."

Phil smiled, noting how Fitz's transitions from a word he couldn't remember to one he did were getting smoother. "Tell them both thanks."

"Clearing out now, sir." Trip patted Fitz's shoulder in a way that served to steer him back toward the door. "Holler if you need anything."

The clank of the door shutting echoed in the sparsely outfitted room, and then there was silence, except for a pipe gurgling, and the harsh sound of Grant's breathing.

Phil knelt beside him, involuntarily reaching to push back the shaggy hair from his forehead. They'd laid him flat on the floor for stability while they moved the splint around, but Phil couldn't help thinking he looked nearly dead, stretched out like that.

Grant opened his eyes, squinted up at him.

"You ready?" Phil asked softly.

"Think the granola bars are kicking in." Grant sighed, sat up carefully. "Let's get this over with."

They started with peeling off Grant's jacket, and two button-down shirts. "Haven't worn a t-shirt since Anchorage," he muttered, letting his left arm fall back into his lap.

Phil nodded silently. He remembered the shock of Grant's body hitting his, in time with the crack of Garrett's gun. That bullet had ended up in Grant's shoulder, rather than Phil's brain.

He frowned at Grant's torso, counting three puckered spots of skin, obvious gunshot scars. "Where'd you get those?"

Grant had already started to shiver slightly, and sat forward instead of back against the cold cinderblock wall. He took a moment to reply. "Garrett. On the Bus. Trying to get Fitzsimmons."

Phil was kneeling in front of him where he sat on the bench, so he could look up into Grant's face. There was a distance in Grant's gaze he understood, but didn't like. "Jemma was sure you were dead. She said you got shot at least six times. Fitz was heartbroken."

A spark in the dark brown eyes, a twitch of the lips. "He's a good kid. Leo the lion, bravest of them all."

"But Garrett kept you alive."

A nod, and Grant looked away.

Phil took a deep breath, quelling the anger and sadness that welled in him, and reached slowly to cup Grant's cheek, press his fingers to sweat-sticky too-warm skin.

"I'm glad you're alive."

A glance at him, before Grant's eyes welled up, and he covered them with one hand. Phil's heart cracked a little; four hours since rescue and this was the first time he’d seen tears from from Grant.

Grant slid his hand over on top of Phil's, now hiding his face behind both of them, but he gripped Phil's fingers painfully tight. He said nothing, but a few deep breaths later, he let go, sat straighter, rubbed his eyes.

"Okay, let's move."

They had to cut the waistbands of his jeans and underwear above the injured leg to get those off anywhere close to comfortably, and then Phil turned on the water, giving it time to warm. Grant would need that; Phil hated hearing the little teeth chatters and quick breaths behind him as he collected the company-issue soap and shampoo from a shelf, along with washcloths and a clean towel. Koenig deserved a raise for keeping this place so well-stocked, Phil thought.

At last he helped Grant gently to his feet, and half-carried him into the now-steaming shower, lowering him to sit in the chair Fitz had brought.

A little gasp escaped Grant as the warm water hit him, before he relaxed, tilted his head back to let it wash over his face. Phil moved back to the curtained entrance, awkward and uncertain now. He'd set the soap and things within Grant's reach, but it wouldn't be easy for him to wash himself in his current state. He decided to wait for Grant to ask before he tried to help any further.

He had a sudden sharp recollection of being a child in the bathroom doorway, watching his mother help his father bathe, near the end when the cancer had robbed him of his strength. It was the same mixture of embarrassment, helplessness, and love that filled Phil now.

Sweat beaded on his brow, and he became aware of his heavy jacket and boots, and the water splashing on the cement floor. He left the coat, socks, and boots on the bench, along with his watch, rolling up his sleeves as he walked back to the shower stall.

That was when Phil finally saw the bullet scar clearly, stark on Grant's flushed skin. A dent the size of a quarter in his left shoulder, red and purple lines radiating outward in a strange sort of shatter pattern.

In the narrow space, Grant's back was only an arm's length away, but Phil hesitated to touch him, afraid to startle him. He'd carried that wound for two months– How had he ever survived? How had he kept going? Kept spying and shooting and moving.

"Coulson," Grant was saying. "Dad!"

He blinked, shook his head, cleared his throat. "Yes?"

Grant had his head down, turned, but not quite looking back at him. His hand holding the shampoo bottle was trembling. "Can you-?"

"Of course."

Water droplets pattered against his arms, darkened his sleeves as he worked a lather into Grant's hair, careful and awkward at first, before settling down to the job. He could feel Grant relaxing under his hands, and bit back a smile.

"Feeling better?" he murmured, as soapy grey water slid down the drain.

Grant's only reply was a grunt.

"Just don't fall asleep," Phil warned. "You can do that when they knock you out in the med bay."

"Won't need to knock me out," Grant mumbled.

No, they probably wouldn't, Phil thought. At this rate, he'd be carrying Grant down to the med bay.

"Anything else I can do?" he asked aloud, dropping his right hand to Grant's shoulder.

Grant said nothing, just held up a washcloth, and Phil silently took it.

He eased back a step, as Grant leaned forward, and was thinking of how gentle he'd have to be when he paused, staring at Grant's back.

The bullet hole wasn't the only scar there. There were other, older lines, cuts, burns that almost looked like finger prints, and... was that-?

"Grant. What is this?" He could barely hear his own whisper over the running water.

"What-?" Grant started, before he froze under Phil's touch.

Phil's stomach churned as he traced the raised flesh, the hollow-eyed skull and the eight curling tentacles. Bile rose in his throat, hot and scalding, but he swallowed it back. "Who did this to you?" He hated how his voice broke, how tears burned behind his eyes.

"Sorry, Garrett's already dead."

With a curse, Phil turned away, slammed a fist into the metal wall, but Grant's flinch yanked him back from the anger better than the pain in his knuckles did.

A deep breath, before he found a word. "Why?"

Grant seemed to shrink under his gaze, curling under the weight of that awful brand. But his words came as steadily as they would in any debriefing. "He said I was his. After I– I tried to escape. They tortured me, but he wouldn't let me die. And then he had me branded. To make sure everyone knew which master to send the mutt back to.

"Did you know?" He sat straighter, as if the bitter words gave him strength, glanced over his shoulder up at Phil. "Did he tell you he came to recruit me? In juvie? He got to the detention centre ten minutes after we left. He wanted me for HYDRA. But you beat him to it." A rusty laugh. "The way he harped on that, you would have thought you'd done it on purpose." He sighed, and his voice dropped to a whisper. "After- after I broke, after I shot Firenze... he said he won. He said he got me in the end."

The warmth on Phil's cheeks was not water; it stung in his eyes, burned in his throat. Words, where were they? What was he supposed to say?

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. We should have searched harder, we should have found you, I should have saved you. But when he opened his mouth, no sound came.

Blinking away tears, he looked down to where his hands rested on Grant's shoulders, water pattering over his fingers and dripping steadily down from his wrists... washing over those scars. On the right, the brand of HYDRA. On the left, the shattered mark earned from saving Coulson. He wished suddenly that the brand could have been on the left, could have been punched through by that bullet. Because which one had been Grant's choice?

"He didn't."

It came out in a croak, and Phil cleared his throat.

"He didn't get you in the end. You were willing to die to save me. The whole time he thought he had you, you were waiting to turn it back on him. He might have had your hands tied, but he didn't have you."

Grant sat quite still in front of him, head bowed, and suddenly Phil needed to see his face, to make sure Grant understood the truth. He ignored how water soaked his shirt as he stepped around to turn the shower off, and in the ringing hush, sank into a crouch in front of Grant.

Naked, dripping, hungry, exhausted, scarred, and in pain—this was Grant Ward at his most vulnerable. Phil only hoped he could get it right, could say and be whatever it was Grant needed most right now.

"Grant," he murmured.

A sniff, a shaky exhale, a hand rubbed across his face, but Grant did not look up.

Phil shifted to one knee, reaching up to cup the back of Grant's neck, rest their heads together. "You did what you had to do to survive."

Grant shook his head, drew back. When he looked up, his eyes were red-rimmed and wet. "You taught me a long time ago there was more to life than survival."

"I trust your judgement on the cost. You're a good man, Grant. Making the hard choices doesn't change that."

Tears brimmed over, and he turned his face away again.

"You stayed alive," Phil whispered. "And I'm grateful."

A shudder under Phil's hand, and then a sob broke out, Grant shaking his head hard. "But I didn't! I didn't try to survive! He wouldn't let me die."

How could his heart hurt anymore? Phil wondered. Not that he could really pretend surprise. Torture could push people in all kinds of directions. But he needed to keep Grant talking, dig out whatever was festering in his heart.

"What do you mean?" he whispered.

"This scar," Grant gulped, lifted a shaking hand to the pink line running down from in front of his right ear to under his jaw. "That wasn't Garrett. That was me."

And now he was sobbing, slumping forward against Phil's chest. As gently as he could, Phil wrapped an arm over Grant's back, their positions making it awkward to offer more physical comfort.

He wished he had a towel to wrap around Grant's shoulders, knowing the chill would get to him sooner or later. Cool water was dripping down inside his collar, and the hard floor was hurting his knee, but Grant had a fistful of his shirt, and Phil would not have pulled away for the world. He pressed his cheek against wet hair, and closed his eyes.

"What happened, Grant? Talk to me. This is our debriefing. Just us. Talk to me."

"He told me they were dead," Grant choked out. "Fitzsimmons. But he kept me alive. Tortured me. No food. No water. Alone. In the dark. For weeks." A last sob shuddered through him, and he subsided to ragged breathing. He was collecting himself, trying to explain coherently. "Garrett wanted to break me. I tried to escape, but–" a deep shaky inhale "–they caught me. Beat me. When I woke up... he branded me. And I..." His voice caught, and he shook his head, shivered.

"I'm sorry, Dad, I'm so sorry."

That tearful whisper tore at Phil's heart, and a couple warm drops slipped down his own cheeks.

"For what?" Even though he knew the answer.

"I was supposed to die bravely. But I couldn't. I wanted it to end! I just wanted... it to stop, so I tried. I stole a knife, went for the carotid. When I woke up... Garrett said I wouldn't get away that easy.

"I gave in, Dad." Another round of sobs threatened, but he fought them back. "I wasn't trying to be a double agent, I just... wanted to eat every day. I wanted to wake up and not hurt. I don't even remember the Treehouse. Because he was right. I was no better than a dog."

"Grant Douglas Ward." His voice came out too loud, and he tried to soften it with a hand on Grant's cheek. "Look at me." He stared into bloodshot brown eyes, gripped Grant's face gently. "Sometimes heroes have to start by saving their own lives. And yours is worth it." A thumb stroked deliberately down the knife's old path. "So thank you. Thank you for surviving. I'm proud of you, son."

More tears, but quieter now, both of them worn and chilled.

Phil leaned in to press a warm kiss to Grant's forehead. "Come on," he murmured. "We better finish up and get you in some dry clothes."

"Okay."

As he stood though, Grant caught his hand, squeezed it. "I love you, Dad." His tiny tired smile was like the sun breaking through clouds.

It took a moment before Phil could answer.

"I love you, son."

He tried to move quickly, cleaning Grant's back, and helping him wash around the splint. The little gasps from Grant at any movement of his leg, told him the anesthetic had run his course, and his kid belonged in the med bay ten minutes ago.

But at the same time there seemed to be something lighter in Grant's eyes, in his air, and Phil was certain their conversation had been a good thing. What was that saying? The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable? Well, they'd gotten some of the misery out of the way.

Getting Grant dry and dressed was an arduous process, but at last he sat on the bench, clad in the borrowed flannels and Phil's jacket, preferable because of its zipper. Phil discarded his soaked button down, and took the t-shirt and sweater. May had forgotten socks, so he gave Grant his own, kneeling in front of him to gently ease on one and then the other, at least as far as it could go on the wounded leg.

As Phil hastily laced his boots, he glanced sideways at Grant's pale face, and closed eyes, the way he slumped back against the wall, still shivering.

"I'm carrying you." Not a question, a decision.

"You always carry me."

The words were barely audible, and he wondered if Grant had meant to say that aloud. But he clearly meant for Phil to hear him as he was set gently on the elevator floor, Fitz and Trip fussing around his leg. As Phil made to stand, Grant caught his sleeve, spoke soft but steady. "I'm glad I'm alive too."

Phil could only nod and smile.

Grant was asleep on his shoulder by the time the elevator stopped.

#um... sorry?#this took forever and got super angsty and i am so sleepy right now i hope it made sense #yes grant and bobbi know each other and yes they call each other that because bobbi took the mockingbird title from laura and grant has #always wanted to be as good a marksman as hawkeye so yeah. clint and laura are like older siblings to them #grant ward #phil coulson #antoine triplett #jemma simmons #leo fitz #melinda may #skye #bobbi morse #agents of shield #saving grant ward au #my writing #comfy vember 2024 #scars

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abbysbitch · 2 years ago

Text

Piedmont | Ellie Williams (pt.1)

part one

a/n: i hope you guys enjoy, I seriously wasn't even expecting like 10 people to see the announce post but 200 notes? are you kidding? thank you all so much *kisses every one of your foreheads* i hope this lives up to the anticipation, i feel like i didn't do it justice but i dont wanna postpone anymore so have at it

cw: pet names (babe, baby, pretty girl, pretty thing, princess) the TINIEST smidge of a blood kink(reader bites her lip too hard), edging, fingering, cum eating(kinda?) slight angst, making out, prob more that i missed

wc: 4.1K

tags! @acecardly @dani-ellaed1 @sevignyes @nil-eena (if i missed you its because i couldn't find your handle when typing them in)

Ellies always hated you, for arguably no reason.

It’s pathetic really, seems like since the day you guys have met she’s had it out for you- whether it be throwing snarky comments at you or just being an ass in general, it’s always been a competition between the two of you. It’s been years since you've had a somewhat civil conversation with her.

Ellie was just an outright dick to you. Since the time you guys were sent on a mission over a year ago (just the two of you, which Ellie bitched about to Tommy for approximately an hour), she was just awful towards you.

You tried so hard to get her to like you but nothing seemed to work. During socials you’ve tried countless times to get her to engage in even a card game between you, Dina and Jesse and shes always declined. You’d go up and try to start a conversation one time and - to say the least when you went home you cried out of pure frustration.

You didn’t hate Ellie, just hated the way she hated you, for fucks sake you had a crush on her that you couldn’t seem to rid. But who could blame you when she had those gorgeous green eyes and auburn hair that just seemed to frame her face so perfectly when she put it up to get it out of the way. And her tattoo- you’re sure she's caught you staring before. Staring because of how bad you wanted her fingers inside you.

Especially with the way that she carried herself. Careless, and always with such a serious look on her face. Her sarcasm entertained you; of course only from afar.

And god she was just so beautiful.

It hurt, knowing you couldn’t have done anything for her to like you. Not even just a little. Not even just enough to be acquaintances. You would’ve been at least happy with that.

So it seems like just your luck when Tommy asks another favor of you. And just your luck when he invites Ellie to ‘tag along’.

The air was cold, and the bone chilling tension between you two even colder.

It was now around 6pm, and you had gone to the stables to tack up and get ready. Though you weren’t supposed to go out until 7, Ellie had already beat you there. Attempting to break said tension, you shakily start with “Make sure you tie her-”

“I know how to tack a fucking horse.”

Ouch

Obviously it didn’t help anything with the tension and unbeknownst to you it was going to stay that way for a while even as you left the gates of Jackson into the harsh winter of the outside.

You and Ellie keep on the path, looking for anything that was asked of Tommy to bring back. It’s only been 30 minutes of absolute silence and you’re starting to get mad with her stubbornness.What did you do to make her hate you so much? Nobody else seems to have a problem with you, so why does she? To be fair it didn’t matter before, but now that the two of you are in the middle of fucking nowhere and she’s not saying a word, it’s really getting to you.

Not being able to stand it any longer you decide to say something.

“What is your problem with me, Ellie?”

She turns to look at you for just a moment and then gazes back to the path in front of her. God, you just wanted to curl up and die of embarrassment. Of course she wasn’t going to say anything, because she didn’t care enough to have this conversation with you.

Staying silent was the hard part of it all. So desperately did you just want to scream at her for everything she's been to you. She makes you feel like a fucking burden and, duh, it doesn’t feel good. At all.

So many more minutes pass by without a word. The air’s even colder by now, your watch showing the time as half past nine. Goosebumps have spread across your skin and your legs are shaking. Shivering was an understatement. It’s pitch black, making you even more on edge now than you were starting this little assignment. You decide to go off the path in search of a cabin you’ve been in before. For some reason this out of everything else causes Ellie to speak up.

“Where the fuck are you going?” You immediately notice her tones changed completely from the beginning. It was rougher and she sounded like she was genuinely going to snap at you.

“A cabin.” You state flatly.

She looks at you for only a second and then reverts her gaze back to the trail in front of her. You can tell she wanted to say more but kept her mouth shut for your sake, so you indulge.

“It’s getting cold and I want to warm up a little. If you don’t want to follow me, suit yourself, but it’s not on me if Tommy gets all mad.”

She scoffs as she follows you through the overgrown brush that covers the trail, taking interest in the way you pick at the greenery along the way. Why were you so intent on taking all the leaves off the different trees? She wasn’t just looking at you now, she was staring.

And she couldn’t stop.

She watched the way you rode ahead and shook your hair to get it out of your face, watched the way you would drink out of your bottle, watched the way you’d rub your hands together to get rid of the cramps in them. She kept watching- no, staring at you.

You’d be lying if you said you couldn’t feel the eyes on the back of your head. It honestly concerned you. What was she planning to do? Hurt you? Worse? Every bad thought ran through your head within the span of just ten seconds. You were in the middle of nowhere, it was the middle of the night and you’re with someone that absolutely despises you. What couldn’t go wrong? It’d be a perfect place to hide remotely anything, and your mind went to the worst possible option of that being you.

Not feeling the need to mention anything you keep on the trail. At this point you see the cabin a little bit ahead of where you were. You let out a sigh of relief and kept on. As you reach the cabin, you both stall the horses in the small barn nearby and head inside.

“This is an absolute shithole, are you kidding?” Ellie starts, “what is this going to do for us from the cold?” She scoffs as she follows you around the house, surveying it like you two are spending the night there or something, which is far from true.

“Listen, it’ll work for a while and then we can get back out. Can you stop bitching for once and just chill out?” You were getting irritated at this point and she's pushing your limits. Egging you on, wanting to know how much you can really take.

“I’m the one bitching? We wouldn’t even be here if you weren’t such a pussy about the damn cold!”

“Like I said before, chill the fuck out Ellie.” You try to deescalate the situation.

“I’m pretty fucking chill, I just don’t get why we had to stop here, are we not wasting time?” At this point you realize she just likes to argue for fun.

“If you’re so worried about wasting time then go on your own and do this shit! I never asked for you to come with me in the first place!” You are so close to absolutely breaking. You’re so frustrated with her and her shit you could just cry.

“I never volunteered!” She just kept pushing and pushing you, god you hated her so much in this moment.

“Do you know how fucking irritating you are? Ever since I came to fucking jackson you’ve had it out for me for absolutely no reason at all! What the fuck have I ever done to you? Wanna explain or are you just going to keep treating me like shit?” You had finally broke.

You could tell Ellie wasn’t expecting that. She looked taken aback. Good, you hope it got to her like she got to you this whole time.

“Yeah, stay the fuck silent.” Now you’re the one pushing.

She stares idly tracing her tattoo, the tension clearly eating her up alive. She's at a loss for words right now- her mind is blank as she just looks at you. Not saying a single word for what feels like minutes when she finally decides to sigh. She stands up and walks towards you, still silent. You move backwards and she doesn’t let up as you eventually hit the wall with a gasp and she cages you between her arms. “What’re you-” you try, but with the way she was staring into your eyes, with a different look than normal, you found your words to be stuck in your throat. When were her arms so…big? It never hit you how tall she truly was, but now with her towering over you and her so close? As much as you’d want to think of her like that again, right now just wasn’t the time.

Jesus, she groans. And it goes straight to your cunt but you know it shouldn’t.

“I guess I’m upset at the fact I’ve always wanted you and couldn’t have you. Do you know how frustrating it is seeing you make friends so easy? Flirting with Jesse so effortlessly? This whole time I’ve wanted you and you couldn’t have cared less. Never batting a single eye at me. I’ve wanted you since you stepped foot through those gates and its making me fucking crazy.”

“Ellie i-” you try but are immediately cut off by her going,

“I know that’s not what you wanna hear but if I’m being honest I needed to tell you or else the guilt was going to eat me alive. I’m sor-” She shakily breathed out before she was cut off- by you.

Closing the gap at her confession, you captured her lips in an aggressive kiss, making her whine on impact. Using your shaky hands you cup her face, trying to find a way to stabilize yourself and she catches on, slotting her leg right between yours. The sound of your mouths moving was erotic and her actions even more so. She bit at your bottom lip, silently asking you for access, letting out a breathy moan that was followed suit by her licking the same area. Her mouth was absolute bliss and every lick into it had you wanting more. More of her, her noises and her hands as they traveled slowly up and down your sides.

You pull back to catch your breath and she whines at the loss of contact. You stay for a moment, just listening and watching as her chest heaves up and down. Everything in the room is far too hot for your liking and you fix it the only way you know how.

“Take this off, now.” You motion her shirt up and off her figure. Fuck how cold it is outside, you need to feel her bare skin on yours- and god the sight was beautiful. Her toned abs felt so good under your touch, and her arms were veiny in the right spots, it was so unbelievably hot.

As she holds you tight against the wall- bodies directly pressed against each other, you do the same- grabbing the hem of your own shirt and lifting it above and off you. Sliding your hands up her stomach, you lightly yelp as she takes her own on your hips and forces you down on her thigh. Gasping at the contact, you chase after her lips like she did prior, and she groans. Now you’re desperate to hear it again, and again. You crave it.

She takes your hips and moves you across her thigh even harder now, almost as if she's desperate for you. Chasing your high rather than hers, but still for her pleasure. Grabbing at her shoulders as you take it into your own hands, you start grinding on her. God, her thighs were so hard and toned it was giving you just the right amount of friction. Leaning your head back she takes the opportunity to litter kisses and bites all over the exposed skin. You swear you’re in heaven and you’ve barely even started.

“Jesus baby, I can feel how wet you are through my fucking pants. And I haven't even touched you .” she spoke against your neck. Making a mental note at the nickname. You were biting your lip so hard you thought you tasted blood, and the fact turned you on soooo much more.

Ellie kept her assault on your neck, but this time she trailed her hands along your body, stopping at your bra and sighing an, 'is this okay’? Taking your far too fast nod as a yes, she snakes her hands behind your back, snapping the bra off and slowly taking it off you. She threw it to the side and suddenly started to grope you, squeezing your tits and slightly grazing over your nipples as you jumped at her aggressiveness. She was giving you so much but it still wasn’t enough.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” she says as she starts on your breasts, sucking and biting at the flesh, leaving the area all sensitive and purple, and leaving you even more desperate.

Her threatening gaze stayed on you the whole time she played with your mounds, sending a wave of hot heat straight down to your cunt. The fact she had this effect on you was concerning you, but you were too entranced by her right now to notice any of it.

“Ellie,” you whine after her as she continues the assault on you, moving back up to your collarbone and jawline. She was staring at you like you were her prey, and she was the predator.

“Hm?” she taunts against your ear and just hearing her voice alone made you so wet. God, the hold she had on you was crazy, and you’d barely even started. Even though she was the one that confessed to you just moments prior it seemed as though she was almost in charge of the situation regardless of you pouncing on her.

She had you grinding on her thigh even faster and harder now, pressing you into the fabric so you could get off, even if it was turning you on even more, it still wasn’t enough, you wanted her inside you, so bad. You needed it.

“I- …need more” You manage to say throughout moans and whimpers. Although she had just started, you think she’s already made you dumb. Off her thigh.

And that’s exactly what she wanted from you. To be so fucked out all you could say was her name over and over again, like a mantra coming from your lips, but she didn’t think it’d be so fucking easy nor did she think it’d happen so fast.

“Tell me what you need, baby,” She says, spit dripping down your throat from how much she was sucking on you. Licking it up she brings her head to look at you.

At the words, you pulled her hands from your body and pushed further and further down until reaching the waistline of your pants.

“You’re gonna have to use your words, sweet thing.” She said as she swoops back down between your breasts. You could feel her smirking against your chest and god, she was going to be the death of you.

Being too desperate to be embarrassed you utter, “Ellie just fuck me, please” You were so needy and just needed the smallest amount more from her to teeter you over the edge and straight to your orgasm. “Atta girl.”

She breaks past your waistband and ventures her hand further down until she reaches the part of you that wanted her the most. You gasp at the contact as she starts rubbing close circles on your clit, turning you into putty. Grabbing at her shoulders, you press your lips against hers once again and this time you’re the one licking into her mouth with a different kind of neediness behind it. She notices your legs wobbling and removes her hand from her spot in your pants and grabs your hips to gently move you over onto the couch nearby. Whimpering as your hips chase her hand she chuckles into you, pushing you down lightly.

Panting and trying to catch your breath you start, “Why haven’t you told me sooner Els, we could’ve done this so long ago.” Ellie just stares at you from her place straddling you, watching the way you look into her eyes and watching as your chest rises and falls from the heavy breathing.

“Why does it matter when I have you right here and now, falling apart in front of me?” she says with a smirk and your scoff doesn’t last long before she's on you again, kissing you with more passion than before. The kiss was softer, and wasn’t as rough with you as before. She moved against you so sensually and slowly and it was driving you crazy. "I've wanted this for so fucking long" she spoke against your lips before she slot her hot tongue into your mouth and moaned when she felt your own swirling around it.

With your mouths still connected, she slides her hands down to your hips, grabbing for just a second before she moves down into your pants, slowly sliding them off and leaving them to pool at your ankles. With your panties still on the air hits where you were wet, chilling you for just a second before she breaks away from your mouth with a trail of spit connecting you together.

“You remember that one summer where you, Dina and I went down to the river and swam together for hours,” She started at the same time as her mouth attached to your pulse point.

“Yeah- fuck, why?” you asked between sighs and whimpers. Your brain’s so dumb right now, you barely even recall the situation she’s asking you about.

“That flimsy pink bikini you wore- fuck. You don’t even know how bad I wanted to devour you right then and there,” she kept on, drawing even louder moans from you at her words.

“The first time I saw you in something like that and, shit, I thought you were the hottest girl I’ve ever seen,”

“And now I have you in front of me like this, even more exposed. God, fuck I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Every single thing she said had you wanting her even more, although you couldn’t even say a thing because of how hard she was sucking at every inch of your body. She starts working her way from the base of your neck down to the valley between your breasts sprinkling kisses and bites all over. (and probably hickeys, you were too stupid only off her words to notice.)

“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty.” As you whine at the words you cover up your exposed breasts with your arms, so overstimulated with the way she’s speaking and touching and kissing you. You’re so drunk off her touch, her voice, so drunk off of her.

“Don't hide from me,” and with that she takes your wrists and pins them just above your head onto the armrest. “I wanna see all of you.” she finishes as she licks down from your neck to your breasts letting out a groan when she looks back up at you with that gaze, your doe eyes meeting hers and she smirks- she fucking smirks.

As she gets closer to where you want- need her most, she starts kissing at the inner parts of your thighs. Biting and leaving marks that are sure to be there for the next couple days reminding you of the things that took place (as if you’d want to forget).

Still soaked from being edged just moments ago, and now even more so with her actions, you plead with her to give you what you want.

“Ellie please, need you s’bad.” You’re whimpering for her touch, where you need her the most.

“Patience princess.” God, you feel like you’re going to die, what makes her take so much pleasure in teasing you and making you wait for more?

She licks your cunt through your panties, eliciting a moan she has to hear again. She bites at the fabric and slowly slides your panties down off your hips and leaves them to gather with your pants as she slides a finger straight through your slit, sighing when she feels and hears just how wet you are, and just from her.

“All this just f’me, babe?” she sighs into your thigh where her head was resting as she thumbed your clit lazily, loving the sounds you and your pussy made.

Continuing to toy with your heat, she starts picking up the pace little at a time, leaving you a whining mess underneath her.

“More please el-” You start but are then cut off as she slips two fingers inside you, scissoring them making you groan lowly.

“I don’t think I caught you, what was that baby?” Babbling nonsense as she hits a particular spot inside you that has you moaning so loudly you take your arm and try to muffle your own sounds with it, biting down so hard you know you’re gonna bruise in the morning.

You can’t handle her teasing but at the same time it feels so good that you bite back whatever you were gonna say in response to any of it. Her fingers plunging in and out of you felt like ecstasy, and you were fucking hooked.

The sounds your cunt was making were obscene and absolutely disgusting. You were so wet and you can’t recall a time someone had ever made you feel this good. Ever. Your slick was leaving onto her forearm and soaking her fingers, slowly making its way onto her tattoo, which you couldn’t peel your eyes off of. The way her arms flexed while she was finger-fucking you was almost hotter than the way she was gazing up at you from her position between your legs.

You were so close on the edge now- riding the wave of white hot pleasure as she thrusts into you harder. And she could tell. Tell how close you were from how hard you clenched on your fingers, your muffled noises coming from above her and the amount of wetness that had already dripped down onto the couch just from her fingering you alone.

Taking your arm away from you she starts, “you’re clenchin’ so hard around me, you gonna come all on my fingers pretty?”

“Mhm, uh-huh” with nothing but incoherent words coming out of your mouth you try to warn, “‘m gonna cum ellie, f-fuck don’t- don’t stop.”

“Cmon baby, cum all over my fingers,”

And as if it were literally on command you cum so hard you swear you see stars, white hot flashes of your climax taking over leaving you loud and breathless, and Ellie loves all of it. “shit, good girl, good fucking girl.”

She keeps on with fucking you with her fingers, letting you ride out your high as much as you possibly can. Moments later, she takes them out slowly, earning a drawn out whine from you as she kisses the inside of your thighs once again.

She takes her fingers that were previously inside you just moments ago into her mouth, sucking and swirling her tongue around them. Although you had just come, you could’ve again just at the sight.

She comes back up to your collarbone and licks a long stripe up to your neck, whispering into it praises as she nips at the skin that is your earlobe.

“God you’re so pretty when you're under me like that,” She says to you- capturing her lips on yours once again. The kiss being messier than ever, feeling her tongue slide into your mouth just to take yours and suck on it-a mix of drool and teeth turning you on even more. Pushing her back onto the couch so you were the one on top of her now, you grab at her hips and start grinding down on her thigh once again. You taste yourself on her tongue and she pulls away just as fast as she had gotten up to kiss you and abruptly goes,

“Wanna feel you on my tongue, fuck i need it, come sit on my face.”

━────༺༻──━───༺༻────

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circyexistforcontent · 2 years ago

Note

Sagau with a mitsuri like god?

SAGAU: WITH A LOVING GOD READER

❀ synopsis: the god of teyvat is finally looking for a consort, and Zhongli just so happens to be the chosen candidate. What will be Xiao's response to this epiphany?

❀ notes: I wanna make headcanons about demon slayer soon, probably once I am done watching the swordsmith village arc. Also this is a bit rushed because I just want to post something before I study for days on end with exams coming by. pls, this is Xiao and Zhongli centered because I'm making my way to Liyue BABY-

❀ pronouns: they/them

Stories about your strength and benevolence have been shared all around Teyvat. How you have fought countless outer gods and purified multiple worlds from corruption were shared with kids and studied by historians to understand more about your past. But of course, you acolytes are the ones who know just how deep your love runs for your people.

One of them was Xiao. Xiao was one of your followers who got to know you personally, ever since you manage to defeat the tyrant who took control of him. He swore loyalty to you and stood by your side ever since. Small talk was common, and though you have to initiate and carry out the conversation, it was still pleasant.

He makes sure to check that the food you were consuming was safe and not poisoned (as if poison would affect you in any way), and he pressures the cooks to ensure you are only served the best gourmet food. Most of your acolytes know how protective Xiao can be for you so they stay out of your way as much as possible, only communicating with you through gifts and letters that are present in your shrine.

Only a selected few acolytes that can talk to you are the archons. Mostly because Xiao knows he can't defeat them even if he tried, and he wouldn't be a fool to try and intimidate them. He respects the Geo Archon, he can tell he was a very devoted follower of yours and he respects his values. His least favored archon was the Anemo God, though it's more of indifference than dislike.

While he does enjoy the bard's musical talent, all he has ever done is push you away from your work and distract you with little escapades. He has confronted Venti about it multiple times and all he did was shrug off the commotion and skip away.

May Celestia help anyone daring to approach you after you made an announcement that you are finding a consort. They have to go past Xiao first if they want to go to you. He would be supportive of Zhongli being your consort, but something felt off when he proposed the idea to Xiao. He isn't very educated in the ways of feelings, but he can sometimes tell when the emotions are good or bad.

He knows Zhongli is more than worthy to be standing beside you. He should be proud that his Master has found someone like Zhongli, but...why does his heart tell him otherwise? He does his best to shove it down when he watches him hand you a bouquet of qingxins, every time you hold his hand and kiss his face, every time you feed each other Xiangling's latest dish. He doesn't understand, why isn't he happy for the both of you?

Is the problem in him? Why is he like this? He projects his anger towards hilichurl camps before he is left alone to reflect on his feelings. He usually feels like this when he senses something bad is going to happen...is it because the Geo Archon is hiding something? Was something going to happen on the day of the wedding?

Yes, that must be it. The wedding is going to be sabotaged. Or! Or! The wedding must be a scheme to put you in danger. He needs to find a way to postpone the wedding date to find out whats causing him to feel uneasy.

So now it's mostly just him trying to convince you that you don't need to rush the wedding process, while you just sit there for hours straight waiting for him to finish.

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shiorimakibawrites · 11 months ago

Text

Will You Be Mine?

Words: 732 Rating: 18+ Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem! Reader Summary: You've been nervous since Matt said he had something important to ask you. Warnings: Anxious thoughts, tooth-rotting fluff, referenced p in v sex, referenced unprotected sex Tags: @loves0phelia, @nowheredreamer, @bellaxgiornata, @yarrystyleeza, @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment, @theradioactivespidergwen (hope you feel better mandy!) Links: General Masterlist Matt Murdock / Daredevil Masterlist Also posted to A03.

Just a little one-shot that appeared while I was trying to write the next chapter for Alley Cat. Hope you all enjoy.

Will You Be Mine?

As you exited the elevator and headed toward your apartment, you tried not to let your anxiety get the better of you. Matt had told you he had something important to ask you when you came home. Something that made your normally confident boyfriend sound nervous. While you wanted to believe it was something positive, the Negative Nancy in your head couldn’t shut up about all the terrible possibilities.

Maybe Matt wanted to break up with you. That he had found someone else. Someone who was just as model gorgeous as he is, a person who would never get any whispered comments like ‘how in the world didshe manage to land him’ at parties. Or maybe someone could fight side-by-side with Daredevil instead of waiting at home and fretting. Or maybe someone was both prettier and a lot more badass. Someone like Elektra. Or Natasha.

Or maybe someone who wanted to be a housewife. Not that there was anything wrong with that choice. If being a housewife made someone happy and fulfilled, you were all for it. You just didn’t think that you would be. You had worked hard on your degree and enjoyed your work. You liked cooking and didn’t mind cleaning but doing nothing else all day sounded frightfully dull.

Through there were parts that didn’t sound awful. You liked the idea of being Mrs. Murdock. You may or may not practiced writing your name that way. Just to see how it looked. You might have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to your hypothetical wedding. Or considered what might be engraved into your wedding rings, something that Matt could ran his fingers over every day and know that he was loved . . .Or idly pictured a little face (or two) with Matt’s beautiful hazel eyes.

You really, really hoped that Matt wasn’t about to turn those sweet dreams into bitter ashes.

Logically you knew that he (probably) wasn’t. That you were worrying about nothing. You lived together. He loved you. You had woken up this morning to him pressing soft kisses to your neck, whispering ‘I love you’ as his big, warm hands gently caressed your body. The sex that followed could only be called making love. You had sobbed with pleasure when he had slowly filled your eager cunt with his cock. His thrusts had been gentle, as unhurried as the fingers rubbing circles on your clit. You had let out a keening cry on your third (or was it your fourth?) orgasm. Matt had been quieter but let out a deep moan when he came inside you.

You hadn’t wanted to leave the bed. It was supposed to be your day off. Matt had promised nothing short of literal world-ending disaster was calling him away today. You could stay in bed and have as much mind-blowing sex with your boyfriend as you wished. You had been contemplating rolling Matt over and slowly riding him until he was the one sobbing when your phone rang.

It was your frantic co-worker. There had been an accident. Her husband and at least one of her kids had been badly hurt. Of course you agreed to cover the rest of her shift and to get there as soon as possible. It was a little disappointing to postpone your plans (as nebulous as they were) but needs must. You could always ride Matt tomorrow. Turning him into a moaning mess sounded like a terrific Valentine’s Day present.

Now, after that call during your break, you feared that the only thing you were getting for Valentine's Day was a broken heart. You gripped the doorknob and tried to brace yourself. You opened the door and let out a surprised gasp.

The apartment was festooned with lit candles and rose petals. The table was set with something that smelled delicious along with two glasses waiting for their wine. And standing a few feet in front of you was Matt dressed in jeans with a cream cable-knit sweater that looked sinfully soft. His dark glasses had been left off so you could see the love, the hope, and the fear shining in his eyes as he went down on one knee.

You brought your hands up to your mouth as your eyes began to fill with tears. Was he . . .

“Sweetheart,” he said, holding up a little box with a ring inside it. “Will you marry me?”

#daredevil #daredevil fanfic #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock fluff

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