#but never important enough to be a priority
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David Gaider on Cassandra (the last of these retrospective character threads), under a cut for length:
"This is the last of the (major) characters I wrote during my time on Dragon Age. I could go into others, and considered moving onto Stray Gods... but I feel like fewer would be interested, and I honestly can't keep up the pace. So let's make this the last, for now. So, yeah. Cassandra. We knew early on that Cassandra would come into DAI as a companion, along with Varric, that this was part of what DA2 set up for the sequel. Now, I'd written Cassandra's short scenes in DA2, yes, but I wasn't her writer for DAI. Initially, she was Jennifer Hepler's character. By mid-project, in fact, Cassandra was more or less fully written. Jennifer did a great job - solid character, solid quest. The sticking point, it turned out, was her romance. Now, to be fair, Jennifer told me straight up when we began that writing romance wasn't her forte, but she'd give it a go. The problem with the romance as she wrote it wasn't in its execution but more a clash between the character as Jennifer envisioned her and the requirements of her being a romance. See, I mentioned previously that a romance arc inherently limits the kinds of stories you can tell with a companion. Many responses I got can be summed up as "lol skill issue", but consider this: a companion romance isn't a fic you can just throw up on AO3. It's an investment of a lot of resources. If a companion has one, most of their resources need to be devoted to it - it's not "now let's ALSO add a romance"."
"That means it needs to take priority in who they are as a character and their arc. What's more, they need to be *appealing* to a big chunk of the player base - or at least someone we can imagine being broadly appealing, anyway. Thankfully, there are still many many stories this can accommodate. 😊 This, however, wasn't one of those. Was Cassandra a fascinating character? Absolutely. Her romance, though... Well, Jennifer DID warn me. She'd written Cassandra as a serious, self-righteous, pious woman who put the Inquisitor on a messianic pedestal. Romancing her meant changing her view of you. You did this by being... pushy. Jennifer didn't mean it to, I'm sure, but sometimes it came off as, at best, negging. At worst, a bit harassy. And Jennifer would have fixed it. This was a 1st draft, and the issues - while serious - were something a skilled writer like her could handle. No problem. Thing is, Jennifer left. You may not remember, but this was around the time a bunch of GamerGate dudes decided Jennifer was somehow responsible for ALL of BioWare's faults. Oh, the power she wielded! She, a writer, could even command the combat Bio made! The result was a LOT of ugly harassment. 😞 Is this why she left? You'd have to ask her, but it undoubtedly didn't help. The important thing is, she left - and there was nobody as senior nor as superhumanly fast as her to take over any unfinished work. This is where Patrick Weekes comes in: a solid, senior writer who could fill her shoes."
"It was great timing - not only did Cassandra need a writer, I'd slowly fallen more and more behind. It was clear by that point that I'd never be able to write Dorian AND Cole AND Solas as planned. They needed to pick up two. And I let them choose the ones who interested them, like all my writers. Patrick taking Solas was no surprise, and while I had Big Plans for Solas in the future I knew at least he'd be in good hands. I was reeeeaaaally hoping Patrick would then pick Cassandra... but they wanted Cole. My baby. Who I created in Asunder. I grumped, but Patrick clearly loved the character. They had ideas for Cole which... yeah yeah, sounded cool. Fiiine. 😅 Now I had to figure out what *I* was going to do with Cassandra. We couldn't move the romance to someone else, all the other female characters were well underway, and I didn't know the character well enough to fix her with tweaks. That meant a re-write. I didn't WANT to erase all that good work, but I needed to start from scratch. Yet how? A pious, self-righteous character was already a risk in terms of romantic appeal. There are only a small number of traits sorta considered universally unappealing but they're on that list. In this instance, Cassandra already being a known character helped. I came across a webcomic (by aimo, I think? AHH I wish I could find it now) that made a joke about Cassandra reading Varric's books. Off-hand, no basis for it, but funny. �� And I thought: YES. THAT'S IT. THAT'S WHAT I'M MISSING."
"I sat down and wrote the "fangirl" scene, just to test it out. Everyone loved it, and it served to change my image of who Cassandra was - a view of the inside, at the idealistic and awkward passion she felt, for so many things... AND the Maker. "Yes," I thought. "I could fall in love with this." Who knew Cassandra could be funny? Not anyone, coming out of DA2, yet here we were. It worked so well and her voice came so easily. Miranda Raison was game ofc, and amazing. Though Caroline did gripe that, if we ever met more Nevarrans THAT accent meant we'd have the Tali Problem all over again. 😅 Cassandra's romance is burned into my brain as the time when we THE most awkward conversation with the animators ever. See, that moment during the sex scene on the picnic blanket when she leans back and... there were suddenly these strategically-placed candles, juuuust covering the Sordid Bits. Thing is, they were so obviously placed just to do that. Plus, we'd already decided to do full nudity in DAI, hadn't we? WHY WERE THEY EVEN THERE? Turns out, the nudity thing was still pretty new to the team. They'd forgotten and put the candles there almost as a reflex. So prudish. So Canadian. 😂 I do find it kind of funny that, these days, what I mostly hear about Cassandra is from female fans upset at me because she wasn't a lesbian option. I mean, right? Who wouldn't want that? Technically not my decision, but I guess I WAS behind the companions having set preferences so... fair enough?"
"Some of them do take it to an entitled place, though, like Cassandra *should* have been a lesbian. Why? Because she looks like one, apparently, and that that's a bit of stereotyping which feels... odd? But it's not as if lesbian players are spoiled for choice left and right, so again: fair enough. It did lead to the best end credits VO perhaps ever, and overall I'm pretty happy with how Cassandra panned out. Things never end up like you expect, right? But such is game dev lyfe. 🥸🖖 Did you know Cassandra was THE most-romanced DAI character, by a good margin? Least, by a good margin? Dorian."
[source thread]
User: "Did you have any hand in her writing for Dawn of the Seeker?" David Gaider: "No, none. Nobody at BioWare had any hand in Dawn of the Seeker, outside of maybe Mike approving the script or direction? Only he could say for sure." [source]
User: "Was Miranda a specific casting choice by anyone on the team (similar to your picks for Merrill/Fenris/Solas), or was she simply a lucky find? I loved Miranda on the BBC series "Spooks", so I was very pleasantly surprised to learn she voiced one of my favourite DA characters" David Gaider: "I don’t remember how Miranda was cast. Auditioned, I expect, and she had a good “steely warrior voice” which is surprisingly uncommon among actresses. The accent she made up was all her, as well." [source]
User: "What's the Tali Problem?" David Gaider: "When Tali was the only Quarian, the actress doing a made-up accent was fine. Once there were others… do we get them all to mimic her? That’s a tall order!" [source]
User: "I'd say Solas is the most popular nowaday, but you need to be such a specific race/gender combo + most straight guys wouldn't go for him, i get hes not on top of the list, but I'd have expected Josephine over Cass." David Gaider: "You can’t go by how fans online talk about playing the game. There is almost zero correlation between the playstyles of the vocal hardcore and the masses." [source]
User: "I was a Dorianmancer. The cut content in Trespasser DLC was sad to read, it definitely felt short/abrupt for Dorianmancers. Anyway to share what was cut at all?" David Gaider: "I don’t know what was cut out of the conversation, as I never played it. I just heard about it after the fact." [source]
User: "Those end credits are truly incredible. Do you remember who wrote them? I'm guessing a combination of Mary Kirby & you?" David Gaider: "I wrote them, but I recall the entire team kind of took part in brainstorming the pieces of it." [source]
User: "I’m very curious- Do you know what direction you would have taken Cole and his story if you’d kept him?" David Gaider: "It's hypothetical at this point, but I suspect I would have been less willing to lose the serial killer aspect... or, at least, would have made that transition occur as part of his arc in DAI. Yet that's easy to say from this side of the divide. Who knows, really?" [source]
User: "With Cassandra you created one of the best characters in DA history." David Gaider: "Personally, my favorite response of hers is where she gets mocked for loving romance and she comes back with a retort about how it's a strength - how loving something and striving for the ideal takes courage. To me, that's central to her core." [source]
User: "inquiry: did you not write any of the Awakening characters?" David Gaider: "I wrote Anders, Justice, and Nathaniel in Awakening - but it was such a hurried project, my memories of it are pretty much a blur. "Yes, I worked on that" is almost all I can say about it, I'm afraid." [source]
#dragon age#bioware#cassandra pentaghast#my lady paladin#video games#long post#longpost#solas#cole#spirit boy#harassment cw#mass effect#fenris#the fenaissance
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hi! Ive been reading ur fics for a while and i love them sm and hope ur enjoying ur break!
I was wondering if u could write about giyuu apologizing after an arguement?
once again i absolutely love ur fics lol 💗
Apologies
Giyuu apologising after an argument— how does he do it?
Pairing: married!Giyuu x gn!married!reader
“Why can’t you just talk to me? I feel like I’m the only one trying here!”
You immediately regretted those words the second they left your mouth. Washing out your mouth with soap won’t wash that expression of your husband from your face, him staring at you in both disbelief and deep guilt. Giyuu knows that he can come off as cold or even uncaring, even to you. It’s never intentional but rather a terrible habit he seemingly can’t get rid off and it keeps forcing him to push people away from him. That’s why it may seem he doesn’t try hard enough to express his thoughts, his feelings.
Despite knowing that you will be understanding and listen to his worries, hold him while you kiss his face until he finally smiles again, all those fears and thoughts that dwell on horrific events he experiences on a daily gone in mere seconds.
So, who should apologise first? Giyuu, or you?
Since your husband left your house after the argument, probably wanting to take a walk or get some fresh air, you had time to think about what to do to apologise to him. Directly talking to him might scare him off and result into him being too intimidated to answer or scurry off to hide somewhere else to avoid you altogether. A letter could work, right?
Composing and thinking about every word, every sentence helped you sort your thoughts out and properly speak about the argument from your perspective while also staying respectful to his own view of the issues. You just hoped that your crow was awake to deliver a letter to your husband. If not, you’ll leave it in your bedroom for your husband to find and read quietly while you waited on him somewhere else.
But before you could prepare a method for Giyuu receiving your letter, Kanzaburo, your husband’s elderly crow, weakly called out to you and ruffled his feathers while resting on your windowsill. A letter was secured around his neck. Gently, you took the bird and put it to rest on your lap, giving him well-deserved scratches while gently unravelling the letter from his neck. It was written by Giyuu, obviously, but before you could read, the door to the room opened and your husband stood in the doorframe, staring down at you in surprise. He eyed you, then the letter in your hands.
“Have you.. read it?”
“No, Kanzaburo just delivered it.”
“Ah.”
You could see the gears shifting inside his mind. He probably overestimated the senior crow and thought the letter would be delivered faster. You scratched the crows head and glanced back to the paper in your hand.
“Should I read it? Or do you want to say everything you wrote down to me personally?”
Giyuu silently averted his eyes, his shoulders sagging and a small frown spreading on his face. He was avoiding to look into your eyes.
“No. I’ll be in the bedroom.”
You watched your husband slowly close the door, leaving you alone with his elder companion. While the crow was contently preparing to nap on your lap, you opened the letter.
˚✧₊⁎⁺˳༚
My dearest,
I am sorry. I know I’ve caused arguments again and again because of my silence and my behaviour over all. You feel like you’re the only one trying in this relationship and I’m sorry for that. I thought that if I stayed silent it would be easier for the both of us but that is clearly not the case. I should’ve realised much sooner, but instead I am only doing it now.
I am just too scared to scare you off with my problems and issues since you have your own, just like everyone else does. You are important to me so you always are my priority. My thoughts and feelings can wait, so I stay quiet.
You deserve better than the way I am treating you, you deserve so, so much better. You’ve been patient with me, you stayed with me for so long, through good and bad times. I don’t deserve your love.
I want to do better and I will. Please have a little more patience with me. Please.
I love you, I am sorry that I haven’t said it enough times. I am sorry if you don’t believe me.
Yours forever,
Tomioka Giyuu.
˚✧₊⁎⁺˳༚
💠
Thank you so much for requesting!! I’ve been seeing you interact with my posts pretty often so thank you for all your love and support <33 I’ll happily write more requests for you in the future if you liked this one!
Also, I haven’t forgot about Kyojuro’s thighs request :,) I started writing it and it’s halfway finished— my NSFW meter just ran out and I started writing this instead XD
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!
Take care of yourselves, physically and mentally <3
#💠 house of vry 💠#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#kny x reader#fluff#demon slayer hashira#giyu x reader#giyu tomioka#giyuu x you#kimetsu giyuu#giyuu x reader#demon slayer giyuu#kny giyuu#giyuu tomioka#giyuu x y/n#giyu x y/n#giyu x you#kny tomioka#demon slayer tomioka#kimetsu no yaiba tomioka#tomioka giyū#tomioka x reader#demon slayer x y/n#kny x y/n#kny x you
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Personal post, but seeing this gif loose in the tournament brought up some stuff and I just needed to get it out of my system.
This moment right here is the reason why this show has come to have such a hold on my soul. Before I watched a single minute of the actual show, I came across the YouTube video where Jayden & George break down the confession scene and it includes this snippet where Charles says "there's no one else, no one else" and I knew then I had to see this show and that I was going to love it.
A few years ago, I fell in love with my best friend and having carried this love quietly for a long time, I finally told them how I felt. It was one of the scariest but also bravest things I've ever done. I had realised that I was ace earlier that year and it took me a long time to work out where I fell on the aromantic spectrum. It was because of my friend that I could understand what being "in love" meant. For me, romantic attraction is all about that secret third thing, that incurable hope to mean something to the other, to be allowed to love them and care for them and be a part of their life not matter what. So when I told them about my feelings, I wanted to acknowledge how important they are to me. I wanted them to know how much they are loved, how important their presence and friendship is in my life. And yes, I guess what I was hoping for was to be just as important to them as they are to me. I was asking them whether they wanted to go through life with me, and let me go through life with them. And although their answer was similarly to Charles a "not yet" rather than a definite "no", it caused a hurt I have still not recovered from and I'm not sure if I ever will. At the end of the day, I was not a priority to them enough that they wanted to figure out what the rest means together.
So hearing Charles say that "there's no one else, no one else" does something to my heart every single time I watch that scene. Having been the Edwin in this moment, I cannot tell you how much Charles' response to Edwin's confession is an affirmation of their friendship, of the importance of their relationship, no matter how they define it. No matter who Charles has a crush on at the moment, there is no one else he would go to hell for. Edwin is the most important person in the world to him and that will never change. It's exactly the response I was hoping for from my friend, the response I didn't get, and hearing Charles say these words tore my heart in two and healed it at the same time. The entirety of the confession scene still does all sorts of crazy things to my emotions, but this is the moment that I cannot let go of, that I will never recover from.
Edwin and Charles mean the world to me because their relationship is the definition of the secret third thing, so devoted that the distinction between romantic and platonic looses some of its significance. They are "it" for each other, they choose each other over heaven and hell over and over again. They care about each other so much that being apart is the only thing they cannot endure. They can deal with whatever happens to them, as long as they are together. The one thing that they are both completely sure of is that there is no one else for either of them. Their relationship is what I had hoped to build with my best friend, and to see these two ghost boys get there has healed something in my heart and made me feel incredibly seen.
#this turned into a whole essay I'm sorry I didn't realise I had all these words in me but I just needed to get them onto the page#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin payne#charles rowland#secret third thing#my post#my gifs#this is the most personal thing I ever shared online please be kind friends
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Hii congratulations on the achievement 👏 🎉 can I request a joshua x reader headcannon where they're friends but have feelings for eachother and accidentally kiss . Thankyou ❤️
thank you <333 also this is so cutesy omg hope u like it requests for 200 celebration post: open
friend! joshua who met you on the first day of your freshman year and decided to stick by your side because "it's better to be confused together than alone."
friend! joshua who ended up being your closest friend for years, sticking by your side through thick and thin, a safety net you could fall back on.
friend! joshua who got you soup when you were sick, coffee before any important exams, drove you to your favorite burger joint after a bad breakup and let you ruin his shirt with your tears, always saying the same thing: "that's what friends are for."
friend! joshua who you started to have feelings for but decided to push them down for the sake of your friendship.
friend! joshua who, unbeknownst to you, felt the same way since freshman year, holding onto the same reason that your friendship mattered more and he could never lose you.
friend! joshua who invited you to his friend’s party to celebrate finishing another year. he didn’t expect you to dress up for it, his eyes widening when he saw you walk in wearing his favorite blue dress. you scanned the crowd till your eyes met his and you gave him your brightest smile. when you got closer, joshua was so glad for the loud thumping bass, otherwise he was sure you'd hear his heart pounding in his chest.
friend! joshua who pulled you next to him when mingyu suggested playing a round of suck and blow. his friends thought they were doing him a favor, little did they know you were a pro at this game. friend! joshua who made it through every round with you and now there was just you, him, and another girl.
friend! joshua who freaked out when the card slipped between the two of you, taking a few seconds to realize that your lips were pressed to his.
friend! joshua who was disappointed when you pulled back and laughed it off, opting to play other games. he tried not to think about this accidental kiss, but it was hard not to when this was all he had been dreaming of for the past years. he tried to follow you around but noticed how you came up with an excuse to avoid him.
friend! joshua who suggested taking you home after he saw you throw back a few too many shots. he knew you outdid yourself and would regret this tomorrow, but right now your safety was his peak priority.
friend! joshua who ignored your drunk protests and insisted you drink water and sober up. he led you to his car, making sure you were secured properly before driving in the direction of your house. friend! joshua who made sure you were sober enough to know what happened and where you were. it would kill him if this was his only shot with you and you didn’t remember a thing.
friend! joshua who freaked out when you asked him to kiss you again, insisting you're too drunk to remember a thing. "shua, i promise i'm sober enough for this, but if you don’t kiss me right now, i might actually die."
friend! joshua who slowly cupped your cheek, giving you enough time to back out, until you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and firmly pressed your lips against his.
friend! joshua who knew the second he kissed you, he was going to be addicted for life. the taste of your lip gloss was going to haunt him in his dreams till the end of time. he freaked out when you pulled back, unsure of what this would mean for the two of you. you gave him a sweet kiss on his cheek and told him to pick you up at 7 tomorrow evening.
friend! joshua who made a mental note to get mingyu lunch as a thank you after dropping you off. but first, he had a date to plan and a heart to win.
#joshua fluff#joshua x reader#joshua x you#joshua x y/n#joshua fic#joshua fanfic#seventeen fluff#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#svt x reader#svt x you#svt fluff#joshua imagines#joshua scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#svt imagines#svt scenarios#seventeen headcanons#joshua headcanons#woozisguitar: reqs#divider by cafekitsune#woozisguitar: 200f event
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Annabeth really lived the first 13 years of her life not being important enough to anyone, only to become so important to one person that even the vaguest memory of her general existence is enough to sustain them.
#annabeth chase#percabeth#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#percy x annabeth#im not saying she wasnt important to anyone#but never important enough to be a priority#never important enough to give her what she needed
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Absolutely love your art. I want to nom it.
Also, Hollow Heads Siblings my beloveds,,,
Theyre the doomed siblings ever its not even funny
#Oouugh i have thoughts abt the hollowhead siblings. How theyre so intricately tied to eachother since their birth but they'd be#Eachother'd downfall. Esp when it's Dark and his relationship with the others#Dark would never understand what chosen went through. Mainly bc i think chosen is used to fighting his internal battles on his own#While he was in captive as an ad blocker. He loves Dark. He's grateful for Dark bc without him he wouldn't be free#But Dark isnt exactly someone reliable enough for Chosen to get the necessary healing he wants and needs#But that won't stop Dark from trying to fix him. Creates the virus for revenge. As chosen watches his brother spiral and spiral#As he watches him drift further away. Unable to get him back without a shouting match. As he watches with his heart heavy and cracked at-#Their stiffed interactions and strained relationship. He can't remember a time where they shared geniune laughs.#Then tsc coming came and changed everything.#Because this is someone who went through Chosen's pain albeit a lil differently. Someone who knows. Someone who /understands/. And this-#Someone is so much more younger than them and had to go through that pain in such a short amount of time since their birth#He sees himself in them. And he's rather walk up to alan demanding to get his hands cuffed than let tsc fester in that pain.#So tsc became chosen's priority. Healed eachother in many ways than one and are at echother's beck and call if need be.#As for Dark. I think he'd manipulate tsc into using him for his revenge. After stalking out his code and finding out about his potential#And TSC cant help but fall for his manipulations. Since this person is very very important to Chosen and they want so badly to impress-#Them both. They agreed and overtime grew to love eachother. And overtime Dark shifted his goals just a tad bit. Getting TSC more and more-#Involved. Since hey if Chosen doesn't like touching alan with a 10 ft pole why not let this kid do. And TCS agrees to this thinking that-#This is it. This is can finally heal them completely. Finally out of sight and out of mind. Finally can't live without the pain lingering#And chosen watches them with a sense of deja vu. At loss at what to do and so so afraid to lose two of his lil siblings#Then shit hits the brick UBSJDBSJSN#They make me so ill im not even kidding when i said theyre so so very very doomed!!!!!!!!!#This is abt the au btw BAHHAHAHABHA
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#one day I will get brave enough to set boundaries about the number of times people can promise to show up for me and then just *not*#one day i will be brave enough to say hey this hurts me actually#that you said you would do x/be with me for y/help me with y#and have not followed through#and i get it sometimes people forget things#sometimes real life gets in the way#irl sucks and the nature of being an adult means other things take priority#that's fine#and ig sometimes the things i am asking for are inconsequential in their eyes#they're small tiny things that to them don't mean much or they don't perceive them as that big of a deal#so like#yeah i guess im being whiny and childish by saying hey this tiny thing actually means a lot to me#i get it#but its hard to feel valued and important when its happening consistently#and i am used to just being#forgotten#im easily overlooked#easily ignored#and i never say anything because i am here also convincing myself I have no right to kick up a stink about these tiny things#that in the grand scheme of life are not that important#none of these things im asking for are life threatening so maybe I should just#stop being upset that im not getting them#but then also im like. it's not even about the thing. it's about the consistent promises#and then the consistent inability to meet those promises#because im not important enough to make that effort for ig#sigh#im just venting into the void apparently#1 week anniversary of me moving back into my shitty home situation with my parents and my mental health is in the toilet#can you tell lol#sorry for being sad on main again
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Tag drop: Seele (Honkai: Star Rail). Listen, I used to write her and I miss her a bit, and also: there's Belobog people around. And also, well, she's much more interesting than people give her credit for. Also, prepare for some 'rewriting', because Belobog's pacing in specific ways kind of blew a little bit much.
#seele. [ we tell them “things will be better tomorrow.” everyone knows it's a lie; but it gets them to sleep with some hope. ]#seele: ic. [ he always says “humanity's endless conflicts”; but you don't get peace by offering everything up on a silver platter. ]#seele: inquiries. [ that's not the only thing you won't have heard of down here; princess. ]#seele: countenance. [ to all those thugs and gangsters in the underworld; i'm like a spectre always haunting them. ]#seele: introspection. [ the chief's right. sometimes a sharp blade is the only way to get people to come to their senses. ]#seele: meta. [ she got used to people losing their homes. and she got used to people losing their lives. but crying alone was useless. ]#seele: little notes. [ they only eat half their meal; throw the rest away. do they know people below haven't got enough food to eat? ]#seele: wishes. [ where there's hope: there's the will to fight. ]#seele: etc. [ a young girl smiles subtly. “how? right here; right now; i am alone… but it feels... very lively.” ]#seele: underworld. [ what's more important than miracles; seele. is to protect people's hopes for miracles. ]#seele: overworld. [ oleg saw how a look of gloom passed over her tender face. “let's go back. i don't want to come back here again.” ]#seele: sampo. [ wildfire has countless issues on its place right now. we don't need a side order of koski. ]#seele: sampo. [ so we're there; now it's real. now that you have me; do you want me still? ] inominati.#seele: bronya. [ they go their separate ways: one stepping into the light; and the other into the shadows. until one day; they meet again.#seele: natasha. [ i learned quickly that tantrums won't get you anywhere. she knows how to give you a taste of your own medicine. ]#seele: oleg. [ i probably owe my life to the chief. ]#seele: hook. [ don't let her appetite for chaos fool you; i think that kid's going places. ]#seele: v. youth. [ everyone in the dark side of town knew that fearless homeless girl. everyone wanted to avoid that wild; stubborn rascal.#seele: v. underworld. [ just what we all need: more lies about a world that never was and never will be. ]#seele: v. present. [ can you imagine the consequences if we told the people what happened here? they'd be devastated. ]#seele: v. future. [ ... priorities? what do you mean? are you saying rebuilding the underworld isn't one of your “priorities”? ]
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am i really about to start plotting out a script for a video essay talking about labyrinth and its themes of overcoming childish selfishness and growing into a compassionate and responsible adult?
#it's 1am and I work tomorrow#I have never made a video essay#Labyrinth is Not That Deep I mean the script ain't super complex#but I keep thinking of how all of these characters Sarah meets are representative of different parts of herself#even the Fireys who literally lose their heads from only wanting to chill out and have a good time#I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS and I want to yell at people that Jareth is more than David Bowie looking pouty and having a big bulge#he's a perfect reflection of Sarah herself and what information we get of her at the start of the film#he's not random magical sexy man he is Sarah's own sense of selfishness and the appeal of staying attached to childish whimsy#(who also plays with his balls)#(he can be both I guess)#but also it's more than the rejection of fantasy and growing up#it is growing up enough to UNDERSTAND THE MEANING of fantasy and to give it a place in your life when you need it#but not allowing it to consume you and take priority over your life and responsibilities#Sarah recites the important lines at the start of the film but she doesn't truly internalize them until the end
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out of the shower , feeling slightly less shit about myself (and way less like saying uncalled for immature mean things) however still dealing with the realization that I am possibly the most replaceable person in the world
#➳ valentin vents#oh hey and look I'm gonna give some examples that aren't people who can actually read this . nice#but anyways ! nobody i have ever left has given a shit about when i did#to both of my only ever romantic partners i was never important enough to treat well . yippee ! (okay maybe some saying mean things but#neither of them should see this if the universe doesn't hate my ass with a passion ok)#and in all my friendships if i was replaced with any other generic person with social anxiety it'd be like nothing fucking changed !#in short i am incredibly replaceable and uu should maybe all consider replacing me asap because I'm p sure it'd be very easy to find somebun#with all my positives/neutrals and wayyy less of my negatives . idk . just a suggestion .#can uu tell i hate myself very very much even though i desperately try to hide it ! all my confidence no matter how much it's gen in the#moment is still soaked in my self loathing from years of being depressed replaceable always 2nd priority (or less) to those around me etc#but hey it's fine I am sure that tomorrow I'll think I'm the hottest person alive just as I did a few hours ago and life will be okay . haha
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my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm
#purrs#delete later#also she’s guilt tripping me into coming to the stupid fucking potluck on sunday bc she needs the extra help and it’s like… what are you#gonna do when i move out. like i am a grown woman and i should be able to choose how i spend my two precious weekend days. and my dad is a#grown man and he should be able to choose where he works. like is that not a little bit insane. i get it but also….. i do think it s kind of#fucked ip that it’s her way or the highway and her needs take priority over all of ours and she’s asking us to bend to what she wants when#she wants it. like i get it bc she’s sick but it’s not fair for her to expect that from my dad especially. particularly when me and my#brother are back at work / school in more high risk environments than my dad who would be in a private office alll day. and the thing is no#one is brave enough to all her on it bc if we did it would be the END of the world. she even threw a fit on my dads bday and complained bc#the things he wanted to do were things she didn’t want to do like all the man wanted to do was go mini golfing and when that wasn’t good#enough he just wanted to go on a walk and my mom complained the whole time and also scoffed the movie he wanted to watch and said it was#boring and it’s like… wtf it’s HIS birthday??? but what do you expect from the woman who (and in fairness her friends got her these as gifts#but still) has TWO kitchen items that say some variation of ‘a marriage is when one is always right and the other is always the husband’ 💀#i look at that little plaque every night bc it’s in front of the sink when im doing dishes and it makes me so fucking angry. like my dad is#a whole fucking person and he can be right too and he deserves to make choices and be happy and not have his wife put him down all the time.#idk. and she puts down his family all the time too and complains when he wants to do the most reasonable things for his own enjoyment that#don’t align with hers and criticizes his interests all the time and it just sucks to see. he never shows hurt or anything so idk how he#feels about it but it makes me so angry and sad and when i tell her to stop she just lashes out at me so. 🤪. like how do we get her to stop#making her needs more important than everyone else’s bc… she may be our mom / his wife / whateger but that doesn’t make her queen. no one is#(andalso this has only gotten worse bc of covid / her being sick. like this has been a lifelong thing it’s just it’s a lot worse now bc the#circumstances gave her room / forced her to have to take up more space. and it’s just so frustrating. i get it. but none of us are pawns or#dolls or subordinates or anything. there’s 5 adults here and we should all be able to make choices and not be guilt tripped by her. lol#)
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Shang,my Man has his priorities right?
😑🙄🤣
Shang is a god of time and space now and has no use for the crown. But lose his dragon bong,all of a sudden it's the end of times.
"You fucking lost the weed honey?!" "How else am i gonna cope with American gaming corporate now?"
(Used a base)
#mortal kombat#shang tsung#💚heart and soul🐍#my art#look i hc shang is a stoner to cope with the fact he will never know a peaceful afterlife because he can't die and is doomed for eternity#even as a God of time he struggles ok?#tho its not as bad#man has priorities#guess who played aftermath again?#and ya damn right i picked shang again!#also i hc the crown really wasn't super important nor was the hourglass after a certain point because once a god you can rewrite things#like shang has admin privileges now and can reset things all nice n neat after he sucks enough souls that he wants#basically play godly bloodsport and then clean up the mess like it never happened for all eternity#all of the characters are his playthings#and honestly#he deserves it#fuck liu kangs ending i want this ending fr#course i have his darling wife lady tsung aka me at his side#of course i cause shenanigans on purpose but i always have so its ok he's not too broken up
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Trying to build muscle is so frustrating bc it's hard enough to motivate myself to eat as it is but now I have to eat more protein and my stomach is too liddol for the amount of food I need in a day
Can I get an f in the chat?
#tw food#tw eating#i like. forget to eat#and it's low priority for me bc i dont like cooking#bc it can make me start to think abt calories and micro/macro nutrients and i used to have disordered eating#so thinking abt that stuff is triggering to me#but now that im trying to build muscle i have to super pay attention to protein and shit and it's HARD#im trying to like HOPEFULLY convert 3-4 lbs of fat to muscle#just feel dysphoric abt my hips and since you cant target fat deposits ill probably have to lose like 3 lbs of fat instead#of the 1 that i think will help with that a bit#ive been working out a lot and have definitely seen results but i do not eat enough as it is to see the muscle growth in my back shoulders#and arms that i want to see. so now i have to eat more and it's hard bc i get so tireddddddddd and boreddddd and also the cooking thing#and PLEASE no dms worrying abt my eating habits ive improved so much and I'm doing well!!! I'm eating MORE even!!#it's just hard bc it feels like a chore to me#which is part of why i had disordered eating in the first place. well that and dysphoria#I'm legitimately healthy and eat well for the most part. it's just such a hassle to consciously try to build muscle yk? im eating i swear#i love food ask anyone#actually dont bc for whatever reason everyone around me thinks i dont eat bc they never /see/ me snack#i just keep my snacks in my room bc that's where my workstation is rather than snacking in the kitchen bc i dont like to waste time#that's my hangup tbh. i always feel like im wasting time even though it's hella important to cook yourself good meals#it's probably bc i go on a lot of walks so that eats into the time that i WOULD spend cooking#but yeah like i pound back food at restaurants so ppl also say it as a joke bc of how quickly i eat when im not distracted#i could eat more veggies though tbh. i just dont like many of them outside of complicated dishes and like i said i dont like to cook#and theyre so low calorie it takes FOREVER to eat enough to be filling#love protein though#it's quick and tasty ;3#also this is coming from someone who eats baby carrots like they're jelly beans lmao#they're a treat to me bc it takes so long to eat a serving of them#and they're sweet#so to be clear i DO like veggies they just take a while to finish
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God that mood where you both need to do stuff and want to do stuff but both needs are vague and have too many options so you just. Do nothing you want or need to do and realize all the time you had is disappearing. A good time!!!
#haeroniel talks#forget the tag oh well#but for real. had 4 days off work and a ton of real life stuff i both have to get done and have been meaning to get done for a long time#ive pretty much only played video games and called my friends. genuinely not time wasted and i love when i get to do that#and like rn i would love to play more games and spend time with my friends like if one offers you know i never say no#but its also already getting dark and i have to go back to work tomorrow and ive not done everything i promised to have done yknow?#time doesnt feel real and i dont wanna get up even if the anxiety slowly builds to hopefully productive panic#but in the mean time im like ugghh i wanna stop laying around just playing sudoku and watching lame youtube. i wanna play something#(unclear what it is i actually wanna play too many options i kinda wanna play all of them and none huehheh)#im also very sad i havent drawn in ages and any attempt just feels shit. like maybe if i read enough fanfic thatll respark the love.#id love to post something before christmas to get me excited to draw again over the break but who the hell knows if i'll manage#and yeah still have the annoying job related/driving school related/therapy applying/other life admin that really really should be done#im just being grouchy and stuck and need to vent hi tumblr love you all kiss kiss i wish i could function better#i think maybe perhaps. ill concede that driving school and therapy arent priority (important but ive wasted ages on them already)#i think i can do work related things bc theyre sort of fun. i can use my parents help to whack through the life admin and then#maybe i can let myself spend the rest of the evening guilt free either calling my friends and/or playing or if im going totally w drawin
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how bitchy would it be to tag everyone who i think hates me in this post?
#kairying in here#it's like 3 people#2 of which i used to consider my friends#and now don't know bcs they refuse to talk to me it feels#or they're busy#probably busy#but not busy enough not to talk to each other#im never a priority#there's always something or someone more important#when do i get to be the one people set their life down for and become incredibly attached to me?#when do i get to be someones horror story of growing too attached?#when do i get to be loved by someone who never lets me go and holds me so tight i suffocate?#would that make me happy?#what the hell even is happiness?
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A quick, sloppy little comic about Magritte
[OC's]
(image description under the cut)
[Image Description: It's a vertical comic strip of 14 panels arranged one under the other. The style is realistic, done with sketchy lines in a dark burgundy. It is not colored or shaded and there is no background. The comic features the interactions of a couple, Magritte (also called Margie) and Rafael (also called Raf). Magritte is a young woman, she is wearing a baggy armhole tank top with a tight fitting black top underneath, shorts and boots. She has a messy bun and a small messenger bag slung over her left shoulder. Rafael is her partner, wearing baggy pants, sneakers, fingerless gloves, V-neck t-shirt and an open button-up jacket with a hoodie and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair has short side with long top bangs and a short goatee.
(First panel): There's only Magritte visible from the waist up. Off screen, Raf says to someone else: “Magritte has our tickets.” Magritte is excited, looking straight forward. Her left hand in on her bag's strap, her right hand rummaging inside her bag. Magritte says: "Yeah! Even made sure to put them in my wallet so that I wouldn't- uh..."
(Second panel): She is beginning to look concerned, now with her face turned to her back, both left hand holding the lip to open the bag wider and her right hand still rummaging inside. Magritte says: "wouldn't forget.... Hang on, it's not on it's usual pocket. Haha." The last is a nervous laughter.
(Third panel): Magritte is kneeling on the ground. Rafael is standing to the side and behind her, only his feet visible. Magritte looks frantic, searching inside her bag. Her right arm is forearm deep digging in her bag. Magritte says: "It's definitely here-! It's the one thing I never forget 'cus I never take it out of my bag!" Rafael says, firmly: "Margie, when you took it out to put the tickets in, did you put the wallet back in the bag?" The letters are bolded, with the word "back" underlined for emphasis. Magritte says: "Give me some credit, there's no way I'm that stupid." The last three words are underlined for emphasis.
(Fourth panel): The scene has changed and now Magritte and Rafael are in a car. We see them from the passenger's side. Rafael is driving, looking straight ahead at the road. Magritte is hunched forward, hugging herself with the left hand. Her right hand is holding her head. She is looking out the passenger window, avoiding Raf.
(Fifth panel): Rafael turns slightly to look at Magritte.
(Sixth panel): The point of view is now a side profile view from the drivers side. Rafael has his left arm leaning on the open window, his right hand on the wheel. Magritte is hunched over facing the passenger window. Rafael says: "I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about." Magritte says: "I can literally feel your disappointment."
(Seventh panel): Back to the passengers side, Rafael is looking at the road. Magritte is frustrated, no longer leaning her head against her right hand and instead her hand is palm upwards. Rafael says: "Well, yes. It is a disappointing situation, but-" Magritte interrupts: "You'd think I'd be able to do the one thing I was asked to do-! That I'd at least learn from the last billion times I forgot shit. Rafael says, quieter: “that's not where I was going with this...”
(Eighth panel): Magritte has her right hand holding her face with the palm on her cheek, left hand placing the tips of her fingers on her left temple and eye brows. She is frustrated and angry. Magritte says: "It's not like I've got anything more important rattling around in my brain. But, for some reason, if it's not my music, or like.... food or something, then it's just not a priority. I can't make myself care enough to make it a priority!"
(Ninth panel): She now has both hands in front of her, elbows bent, finger extended in a vague hand gesture as if there was something in front of her. Magritte says: "I'm an adult in my 20s and I still manage my responsibilities like a child. I'd be more dependable if I could just stop and think for a second, but I'd probably forget to even breathe if it weren't for the..."
(Tenth panel): Her frustrated expression turned to confusion. Her hands are still in the air in the same position as before. Magritte says:"... why are we parked?" Her noticing this stopped her rant.
(Eleventh panel): Magritte straightens up and faces the window entirely, left hand crossed over her body to lean on the car door. Rafael, off screen: "Margie." Magritte says: "Oh." Magritte's inner thoughts are written around her. "He stopped the car to scold me. No, not ‘scold’. Don't be a child about this. He's disappointed and just needs to make sure you understand so you can do better next ti-"
(Twelfth panel): Magritte is still looking out the window, but now with a shocked expression. Rafael reached with his right hand, and its now resting gently on her upper back. Rafael interrupts her inner monologue with "I need you to stop repeating the shit your parents and teachers and such yelled at you growing up. They were wrong, and nothing you just said makes sense."
(Thirteenth panel): The perspective switches back to the driver's side profile. Rafael says: "A poor memory isn't synonymous with poor priorities. Nor does it speak to a lack of maturity. The priority was there, we just have to build a better habit of checking things before we leave the apartment. Both of us. It's gonna take time. You afford everyone else a ton of patience, all the time. Can you please afford some for yourself? The situation sucks, we were both looking forward to this. But it's not the end of the world. We didn't forget things on purpose. So let's take it easy and try to end the day on a good note. Alright?" Magritte says: "Okay... c-can we um...."
(Fourteenth panel): Magritte has turned to face Rafael and her eyes are filled with tears and they're running down her cheeks. Rafael looks startled, lifting his arm off Magritte's back. Magritte says: "Can we get some ice cream on the way back?" Rafael says: "O-of course!" End of description.]
This description was written and provided by Hiwi.
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