#but my heart cries for that character man
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@dreamyluigi (I apologize in advance for any mistakes, I'm not well versed in the Paper Mario games)
TW: Blood, mention of suic*de, character death (be sure to read to the end!)
"Ugh..." Mr. L hissed again, clutching at his head. The figure in red before him blurred. "What is th-this?" "Weege?" Mario reached out, recognizing the signs of a severe migraine. "C'mon, lil bro, you gotta rest." "Don't tell me what to do!" L snapped. He groaned again, stumbling backwards.
A room in a little house. A warm, inviting bed draped in green blankets. Sleep. He just wanted to lay down. The bed beside him, the red one. It was empty.
Again.
He fell to his knees, clutching his head in sheer agony. Unable to take it he ripped off his hat and mask, the fabric felt suffocating. He looked up, his steel grey eyes glimmering with a mixture of fear and hatred. "Wh-What did you do to me?!" he cried out, doubling over. Words flooded his mind's eye, memories.
He was there. Always there. Since they were kids that constant safety had always been there. Whenever he needed his brother he would just call and he was right there. Then he became a hero. Then their world changed. Their lives, changed. "I'm sorry Weege, but maybe you should stay home this time." "It's okay Weege, I got this, you can stay here." "Heh, Mario left him behind again," a toad at the marketplace said to another, thinking they were out of earshot. "Bet it's because he's useless." He woke from a nightmare with his brother's name screamed out into the night. Yet no reply. He was alone, the one who claimed he would always be there was gone, risking his life for others. Leaving him feeling forgotten. It hurts. It hurts! IT HURTS!
Mario went to step towards the now trembling figure only to freeze at the low voice. "You left me." It wasn't the harsh condescending tone Mr. L had been using. It was that rusty, soft voice. A voice that normally would have made the older twin's heart sing. And yet something this time sent an icy chill through him. "Weege?" "You always leave me." Two voices chorused from the one man. "You said you'd always be there. You lied." He looked up and Mario couldn't help but take a step back. It was like a scene from a horror movie. His brother's face split in two emotions, one grey eye filled with hatred, the other a sapphire blue filled with pain as tears streamed down his face. When he spoke, Mario again heard two voices. "You always leave me." a shuddering sob as Luigi/L stood, moving like a drunken ragdoll. "They tease, they taunt, you never hear it." He lurched forward only to fall again as the room spun. "So much pain. It hurts... Mario, it hurts." "Luigi, I never meant...!" Mario jerked back as Mr. L snarled, lunging at him before falling again. "You're never there! You've dedicated yourself to everyone except me!" Mr. L howled before collapsing, writhing as he clutched at his head. Gasping he looked up, both eyes wild with inner conflict. "Heh. Hehe." the laugh was cold, vacant. "You have no idea, d-do you?" he spoke in just L's voice. "He's screaming inside right now, screaming over what you've done." His hand slid down to his left leg, the hidden weapon Count Bleck had gifted him gliding neatly from it's sheath. Mario felt sick when he saw the glint of the dagger. He held his hands up, taking a cautious step forward. "Weege..." "Don't call me that!" Mr. L slashed out, forcing Mario back. "Y-You, that name is a spell, isn't it? It does something to my head! MAKE IT STOP!" he was gasping now, his eyes flashing a mix of dull silver and sparkling blue. Mr. L paused as if listening to something. To someone. If cruelty itself became human and could grin, it would wear the smile that briefly danced over L's features.
Continued in pt 2 here.
a brief moment of clarity
#super mario bros#super paper mario#smb#luigi#mr. L#bring on the angst#triggering content#self harm warning#tw blood
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The Ink Demon x Female Black Reader
Summary: After nonstop of thinking about Bendy and what he did you couldn't help back go back and finish what your father couldn't.
Warning: Tongue fucking, kissing, eating out, name calling, virgin, and gentle care.
A story will show why the place got like this. It's made up.
You've been working along side with your father and his crew. Animating and designing new cartoons for children around the world.
You felt happy for what you were good at. Becoming a great animator just like your dad you thought to yourself. Your father had plans for this business to go big. But you had other ideas like wanting to take over business when he retires.
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After some months Your father and his crew came up with 'Bendy and the ink machine'. The characters were cute. Bendy the little demon, Alice Angel, Buddy Boris, and more. My father would often show the characters how to be 'human' to make the kids understantand what's happening in the show. It was cute seeing how they did things but bendy on the other hand is very funny. He would stay by my side the most it was like he was glued to me.
'I didn't see a problem with it I thought it was fine." I mean there weren't much other female's working here like I did. But I think my father caught on to bendy's clingyness towards me. Let's just say he wasn't a big fan of how he was acting like.'
After your father took care of the characters he went up to you and whisper something in your ear. "I need to talk to you privately." You've nodded to him and petted bendy's head before leaving him to walk your father. As he tail unwrapped from my leg his smile turning grumpy. You looked back seeing his little mad face. You've felt bad but you needed to see what your father needed. As both of you got in his office you sat down in front of your father waiting for a word. You've hated talking with him about something serious because it would end up into a big argument about something stupid.
"So what this time?" He sat down looking into your eyes like you should already know "Y/N I'm not liking how Bendy is coming to be close to you." You sat up crossing your arms while rolling your eyes towards him and groaning. "Y/N I'm being dead ass he's not supposed to be doing that he's really supposed to be a match for Alice not a human." "Okay! So what you act like he gonna go further he's a good demon he's not gonna fuck me he doesn't even know what sex is!" You get up from your seat fixing your skirt and looks back at your dad who's pissed.
"That don't matter he's too clingy and I don't like it." You cut him off by saying "And so what leave him alone he'll hangout with Alice soon." "Y/N." "Give him time he just needs time." He get's up from his seat "Y/n no!" "He's new you just created him this month just like the others!" He slams his fists upon the table yelling out at you. It makes you little shocked by it but you kept your ground as you must. He yells at you saying "HE WILL DATE ALICE NO MATTER WHAT AND THAT'S IF I HAVE TO MAKE YOU LEAVE THIS WORK PLACE BY HAND I WILL IF IT WILL BE HELD JUST LIKE THAT!" He settled down trying to calm down.
You looked at him with overwhelming feeling thrusting through your mind but mostly your heart. "Now I see why mom left you.." With that you left out his office. You heard him trying to call back for you but nothing works. "Y/N-... Fuck Man!" He knocks over his stuff off the desk which made him even maded so he threw things over in his office. Meanwhile you sat in one of the storage rooms crying and sniffling away from the madness and sadness.
You didn't notice but Bendy had came in the room after you. After all he was was following you but you didn't notice because of his sneakiness. He walked up to you putting his hands on your knees. His smile frowning when he seen you cry. You looked at him with watery eyes. You couldn't speak much so you just landed your hand on his. He stayed with you as you cried.
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The next morning you came back to the work shop but when you arrive you saw police there. You saw your father talking to one of them. You walked over to him to see what's was going on. "What happened!?" He looked at you disappointed "what!?" After he got done talking with the police officer. He turned to you and said "Apparently one of the coworkers were found dead in his work station." You gasped "No that couldn't be." He rubbed his head "Well it is and now I'm told they don't know who did it there's no trace of anything." Your father got annoyed and worried for his business "Just do me a favor and go back home I can't have you here right now." You were about fight back with him on this but before you could he walked away.
You left for now but came back at night. You're father didn't know you came back. But little did you know you were in for a surprise. You opened the back door to the work shop just so you wouldn't run into people you know. Which you don't think it would happen after all this place is big. You walked in the half lit hallway. You heard voices coming from a room. You went to check it out. You saw the room and looked through the cracked open door to spy and listen.
"I'm not stupid I know the only pers- no not a person a thing that could've have did it was one of cartoons." You saw your father partner pasted around the room "Yes but they don't know anything about killing." Your father responed but his parnter stopped and looked at your father "Let's just question them instead." He went to the door you were peaking in and you hurried to hide. "Wait." Your father followed after him. Once they were far. You got up to follow to see what would happen next. "The animation room?" You said quietly. You've never knew where they put the characters at after they were done with the show. "Alright one of you spit it out what do you know." Most of the characters looked confused. "As you know someone died today and there was no trace which makes me believe one of you had something to do with it."
She got on her knees so they wouldn't see her. He kept talking but you noticed somebody was missing from the characters. You counted remembering the names "Where is B-.." whispering to yourself. You felt something touching you. Just turning around to see Bendy but not the normal Bendy with his smile and cute little horns. Half of his face was dripping with ink. Like he was mentaling. You almost scream but he covered your mouth. You started to breath heavily as he removed his hands from your mouth. "What happened to you?..." You put your hand on his face half mentaling face feeling the ink. He looked scared like he didn't know either. "Aww babe you look so scared.. What happened.." You were to busy worrying about Bendy that you didn't hear your father and his partner come out the room. "Y/N what the hell are you doing here." He sounded mad but you ignored him. "Dad look at Bendy something isn't right with him!". Your dad pulled you away from him "Stand back he might be dangerous!" His partner yelled.
But you couldn't believe that "No he isn't he's just scared look at him he doesn't know what's happening to him either!" You told them. "Y/N I need you to go and find the other coworkers and warn them." You looked at him "No he's not dangerous he just needs fixing.." He started to get annoyed "Right dad you can fix him just like the others right!?" You waited for a answer.
"Y/N trust me there's nothing we can do once they turn like this there asigned as dangerous no other way but to kill them." You couldn't believe your ears all thoses times when you were growing up you've been lied to. The more you keep going back and forth with him the more Bendy got worse. You both didn't know the halls were starting to turn black and inky. Until you hear "We need to leave now!" You both stopped and noticed the place "Y/N you need to go now. Anthony take my daughter and leave the place."
"Hey! No hands off of me now!" Bendy notice your discomfort. He got mad and started to deform and grow into a real inky devil. He tries to run after you but a surprise shot gun shell made him fall down onto the floor. His screams of rage you could hear as you were being pulled towards the exit door. once outta the building you argued with Anthony to let you back in but nothing.
Minutes go by still waiting for your father. But he hasn't came out. "I'm going go check on him." He left you as he went back in. It didn't take long before he came back out with your father in a bloodied mess. "Dad!" You yelled running to him. "H-he's.." "No!" "He's gone." You held his lifeless body crying in his neck.
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That's all you keep thinking about over and over. Now as you stand in front of the building where your father die at. You looked up at it seeing how it's a mess. Taped with labels and signs to not go in or stay out. "Time to finish what my father couldn't." Walking into the building the door nearly came apart in your hand. You ignored it and keep walking noticing the place and how inky it became. After hours of walking through different doors you found yourself in the animation room.
Remembering who were all in here once. Moving forward in a door you saw opened. You walked through in and heard something fall. You stood there little scared of what's behind the door. You saw two doggy ears pop out. You gasped and knew who it was. "Boris?" He looked at you his tail wagging as he went to hug you. He's gotten taller. "Hi buddy!" You hugged him back. He let go and took your hand to take to his table and show you his toys. "Aww Boris you still have them." He nodded smiling. "Hm do you know where the others are?"
Boris stopped smiling and got out something. "What's this?" You put them on the table to seeing drawings he made. The more you looked at it you notice it tells a story of what happened over the years of when the place was abandoned. The last one caught you off guard it was a picture of a devil like figure. You felt like you saw it before but when? "Boris who's this?.." He took some of the black ink from the floor and wrote on the wall "B E N- Bendy.." You got up from your seat. "Okay well I need to find him can you take me to him?" He nodded and lead you to another door.
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After showing halfway through the building he let you go in on your own. But don't worry you were close. You just didn't know that.
Not only after going farther into his area. You found Alice. How did you find her? It's because of her signs. She looked differently and ruined. Her actions were no longer the sweet angel you known. She would often scared you with her ways. You talked to her but all she really wanted from you was to take down the 'The Devil Himself' that's all she would talk about. You felt bad that she turned out that way. After saying your good byes you left her. The last thing you remember was she said "Do this for me and I might beable to return a favor."
Now finally you were in his full control. His world and there was no going back. You went in the studio where all the cartoons were. Just to be meant face to face with him. Your heart dropped to your ass as you saw him crawling on the huge chair. He got over it and jumped onto you making you fall back on the floor. "Holy fuc-..." You said under your breath. "Y/N you've come back what a lovely surprise." His laugh sounding demonic. He's on you looking deep into your eyes. 'Not that you could see his eyes.'
He gets up off of you just to lift you over his shoulder. "Hey! What are you doing put me down." You try getting down but nothing. "Boy if you don't put me down!" Bendy starts to form a bed outta ink.
He throw you on the bed but not to hard. You tried getting up to escape. But he pushes you back on the bed. He's stronger than you thought. He makes inks chains to hold her down. "Get these chains off of me!" You start to move around alot. But your only making it harder on yourself. He see's you struggling but the more you do the more excited he becomes from it. "Let go of m-." You tried to yell but that only makes him put his long prehensile tongue in your mouth leading down your throat. As he start with her clothes he rips off her shirt same with her bra.
He took his tongue outta her mouth and started to use it again but to tease her right boob. Then he uses his hand for her left. He started off squeezing her boob and playing with her hard nipple. She seemed to enjoy it but tries to act like she didn't. Not long until that act will be over. Her moans and groans saids it all. He looks at her face and see's the blush from her. He takes his hand off her boob just to rip off her pants. He sees her painties and how wet they became. You saw what he was looking at and closed your legs.
"Bendy no please anything but there.." He stops the teasing with your boob. "Just not there please I'm a virgin." He looks at you confused. You've remembered he doesn't know that stuff. "It's where I've never had sex with anybody and my cherry hasn't popped yet I'll like to keep it that way." He seemed to understand a bit. "So that means if I were to have sex with you.. I'll be your first?" You've nodded to him.
It made it no better because now he takes it as if I did it first that means you're his forever. He proceeds to slides your panties off since you didn't have chains on your legs. "Wait- babe please don't.." He didn't listen and started to tongue fuck you. You could help but dig your head back into the pillow. You were so outta of it. His pace would start to speed up. "A-ah fuck~" you moaned out. His tongue felt like a wave to you. "Aw, can't handle a little demon's tongue?"
he said as he pushed his tongue even deeper inside her. causing you to whimper as you're legs shook more while at the same time closing around his head. Bendy becoming more confident and daring decided to follow up by pumping ink inside of his tongue increasing it thickness and length. His speed was so fast you couldn't keep up of how many times you've cumed on his tongue. "Mmmm you’re so tasty." He murmurs into your wetness. Your legs would shake even more.
He could feel you're trembling, hear you're whimpers, but he pushed on, driven by a lust he couldn't control. "Such a pretty little thing, aren't you?" He purred. A hunger burning in his eyes as he gazed at you're glistening folds. He loved the taste, and the thought of claiming you completely.
Lowering his head, he dragged his tongue along your slit out, and then going back in you again. Groaning at the exquisite flavor that exploded on his taste buds. He could feel you're squirming beneath him, hear you're moans echoing in the empty room. "That's it, babe." he encouraged, his breath hot against you're skin. "Let me hear you. I want to hear every sound, every scream of pleasure."
His tongue deeper, thrusting into you're tight heat. He could feel you're clenching around him, you're juices flowing freely as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.
"Yes, fuck, you taste so good." He could feel you trembling and writhing beneath him, you're desperate moans filling the air as his tongue plundered you're most intimate depths. The taste of her was intoxicating, fueling his lust and hunger. He could sense you're approaching climax, you're walls clenching and fluttering around his invading muscle.
"Come on, baby." he growled, his voice muffled against you're dripping sex. "Cum for me. I want to feel you come undone on my tongue."He redoubled his efforts, fucking you with deep, powerful strokes as he suckled on you're sensitive clit. His hands gripped you're thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you, determined to bring you to you're ecstasy.
You're back arched off the bed, you're head thrown back in a silent scream of rapture. You're body convulsed, shaking uncontrollably as the force of you're orgasm crashed over you. Bendy could feel the gush of You're release flooding his mouth, you're sweet nectar dripping down his tongue.
"Fuck." he groaned, lapping up every drop of you're nectar. "That's my good girl, cuming so hard for me."He gentled his touches, helping you ride out the aftershocks of you're intense climax. As you trembling subsided, he placed a final, tender kiss on you're glistening mound before trailing his way up you're body.
Bendy captured you're lips in a searing kiss, forcing you to taste yourself on his tongue. He could feel a sense of possessiveness, of pride at having brought this magnificent creature to such heights of pleasure."Such a good girl." he praised, stroking her hair as he gazed into you're eyes. You were so tired after that work he put in.
He noticed that and made sure the chains were off of you. He made you comfortable in the bed. You knew this was wrong. You knew you couldn't let him go after what he did. But seeing his new form made you believe it won't believe it won't be so easy to take him down.
You felt him lay behind you. He put his arm around you pulling you in close to him. "Stay with me forever." That's what he told you before you headed off to sleep.
Part 2?
#bendy x reader#black reader#bendy and the ink machine#bendy au#x black reader#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#boris the wolf
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terrible awful realization
[image transcript:
arisveah: and the surgery scene was so much more piercing seeing it from a different angle like omg now we have the idea that he was screaming the whole time omg.
best friend: RIGHT
arisveah: (referring to a previous comment about the exposure) "nerd" okay star wars. what am i supposed to do with the knowledge that charlie was screaming for half an hour what the fuck. what do i do with that? poor boy. if he ever escapes his voice is going to be absolutely shot. and plus saying all that (referring to the horror of promoting a future sex channel with your voice and not your authority) on stream- poor man might never say anything again (if he gets out) :(
End of transcript]
#generation loss#genloss#slimecicle#genloss charlie#mute genloss charlie#the founders cut#u ever get such a foggy brain in public that your mouth speaks without your consent and now u said something very violating about yourself?#now imagine that its been streamed in front of thousands of people and you can’t stop your mouth despite your best efforts#and before you know it youve made promises you know youll be forced to keep#because you didnt make them the people controlling your life did#and now you just have to wrestle with the reality of keeping these promises while your legs run with a boy. you know will die#and your eyes are too heavy to tell where the camera is focusing#but youre pretty sure its already focused your butt after you were forced to eat people and you dont know what else mightve happened after#terrifying#poor fucking gl charlie slimecicle#and he thought he was in the sanctity of his home too#maybe im reading too much into it#but my heart cries for that character man#he needs a hug and a warm blanket BADLY#i will give him hot chocolate and a Gun and he will be safe forever slash platonic#i want to steal him and niki and sneeg and vinny and carry them away to a safe little house on the prairie where they learn how to be human#and they farm carrots and wheat and charlie and sneeg go vegetarian while niki joins the police force and vinny works as an accountant
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A handful of work created for the Chaos Theory charity fanthology, because even if I can't draw I can repost work I'm still proud of.
#vincent valentine#final fantasy vii#ffvii#final fantasy 7#ff7#final fantasy 7 rebirth#ff7 rebirth#ff7r#ff7rb#cloud strife#strifentine#only not really#although it is in my heart#chocobo#not tagging the other two characters#because they are EXPLICITLY not the focus of the piece#and I don't like cluttering up tags#art tag#also shout-out to rebirth literally giving vincent the yellow glowy chaos eye#'nashi why do you say vincent's rebirth design is your favorite when it's only been around for a few months'#idk man because it's basically my vincent design filtered through SE's beautiful CGI#that's just my vincent#spiky hair and all#when I tell you I almost CRIED seeing him#I am understating the emotions I experienced
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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FINISHED THIS FIC. I'M NOT OKAY.
#i've been rotting in bed all day#and binged this fucking fic#and i cried#i don't think i've ever cried at fic before#i mean im finishing my period so im really emo rn#but oh my godddddddddddddddddddddd#THIS WAS SO FUCKING GOOD#people are so insanely talented#the character banter was freaking hilarious#the characterization was incredible#the heartbreak the anguish the LOVE my heart couldn't TAKE IT#thank god for fic man#what would i do without it#milex fanfiction
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Anyways nothing in the show made me cry till seeing ekko and Mel sitting there alone and it doesn’t even have to do with powder and Jayce it’s the fact that they have to get up the next day its exhausting like there’s so much work to do.
#and sevika to a lesser extent#like it’s less sad for me bc she’s got a support group#like ig it’s bc this is moving up for her#she still has shit to get done but yknow#but for Mel and ekko#she’s gotta deal with being an actual ruler now these new abilities and what they mean#she might be glancing over her shoulder everyday bc what if there’s another black rose#and ekko#man he’s still gotta figure out his tree#and they still have to keep it pushing bc ok fuck playing into the council I hate that sorry#but there’s just so much fucking work to do after 10 minutes of relaxing#and it’s like#idk how to feel about arcane like idk#it feels the same a oitnb to me#commentary on no happy endings but it just so happens the main white characters got theirs#even that jinx lived theory grinds my gears bc it’s like#ofc mel and ekko got the short end of the stick. writing and fandom wise like always#and it’s like the show touches on certain things and can’t follow through bc nobody actually cares about black characters and their stories#but also if this is just expanding into wider lol lore it’s like#having the stories set up or finish in a#I don’t wanna say unsatisfactory but like in a way where it’s real#the ball keeps rolling#that’s cool#but it’s not even that it’s just. more care ig#yeah. I want more care for black characters#I wish whoever fought for cait and vi playing house or saw it as a deserved ending or whatever#someone who decided that mel shouldn’t have finished sitting there alone#that maybe ekko deserved to lay down and sleep even if he cried#like it doesn’t have to be a happy ending. if ekkos last scene was just him sobbing over what he lost it’d feel different#but it’s not in his nature to be that selfish. selfish enough to cry freely. free u my heart. 💔💔💔
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Man. I do love when the character is Scared and fucking MAD ABOUT IT. Going from crying and cowering to snapping and biting the MOMENT a hand is extended to them. Trying to help them or otherwise just work with them somehow and the entire fucking time they're kicking and screaming and complaining and being disparaging and stuck up and just kind of a brat about it. ASSUME HARMFUL INTENT BY DEFAULT, get THEM before they GET YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ And NEVER trust a helping hand ESPECIALLY when it feeds you.
#i worry a lot about moe being a difficult character and i absolutely just. mani just fucking sucks ass. no saving that thang#but then it's like. i was just so completely and utterly endeared to sissel. captured my entire heart#THE SMUGNESS TOO. THE SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS. the NEED to have complete control to Protect everyone#and just. having extremely short sighted ways of doing it. the way sissel is still so painfully childish drives me insane.#just added the esp when it feeds you part and realizing how ironic that is w sissel bc that's Literally#how laios was able to win a little bit of trust. HOWEVER. this is me talking. from the heart.#either way something is just Up w me tonight i guess i've just been crying on and off about it LMFAOOO#in my fucking feelings..... whatever man ....#my biggest takeaway here is i can make mani worse.#maybe even still beloved... there is a chance......... it could be possible.#i'm also just extremely fucked up about sissel like. if it wasn't obvious. everything about him is driving me insane actually.#the mother/child imagery/motif. the fucking lion. i cried tears of relief when i saw#that the gang did put sissel in a bed after it all. like i could not fucking relax until i knew where he was#and i so. sooooo deeply and desperately just wanted someone to put him in a bed. for gods fucking sake.#don't even get me started. on everything else.#i'm just never gonna recover.#moe tag#mani tag#<- tagging them bc IN SPIRIT. this post is also about them
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While on the topic of Johnny's powers again, I really do love the idea of him being able to sense other's mood or negative energy as when he absorbed so many souls it gave him a link to such things ( thank you powpow for inspiring this ily ) he's always been attentive and able to read others, but after his powers are awakened he can easily tell when something is wrong or when someone is upset, especially when it comes to his loved ones, but he doesn't address it directly and offers his support through the guise of him simply being annyoing ... What hurts even more is that no one in turn knows when he is going through something, he's a good actor and makes sure no one is able to read him, not wanting to be vulnerable and have his trust betrayed ... he just sticks to his own solitude to deal with everything ...
#☆.⠀⠀⠀out of character⠀⠀⠀⎯⎯⎯⠀⠀⠀⠀(⠀ooc !⠀)#// UGLY CRIES#// I see it a common theme while writing that no one really knows what's going on in his head#// and that's his point HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW#// it's hypocritical of him I know but it's easier for him that way#// and taking after others is the better reward#// we love a man with a secret heart of gold but ow my heart 😭#// your muse trying real hard to hide something and in comes Johnny like: I'll keep you company. you wanna go somewhere or just talk ?#// HE GOT YOU
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can't believe I'm almost finished with death note, five more episodes in and it's over… orz
#and to think that after dropping anime forever I'd be this invested into death note#what will be of me when it ends cries#I know that there is the manga but aaugh…#I don't think I'll be reading it anytime soon#if ever tbh#I love my man ryuk and misa#and miss ryuzaki with ALL my heart + his interactions with light#but augh.² just don't feel it in me yk#it has been a nice ride though </3 there where lots of fun characters and moments that genuinely made me smile and laugh at the tv#while also making me sad in moments where characters I liked where killed off#I will be mourning the anime finale like a grieving widow that's for sure#ramblings
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I KNEW it would be The Lovers card!
#watching tarot readings pays off in a unexpected way#ri ta is about that business#for her man!#but they’re such tragic characters!#(cries.)#it’s like destined with you all over again#my heart hurts for do ha and ri ta#moon in the day spoilers#moon in the day kdrama#moon in the day#kim young dae#pyo ye jin
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finished watching desconjuração
#SPOILERS AHEAD#i cried for the entirety of the last 30min#i know gal's one of the bad guys#but during the battle with him i couldnt help but root for him a bit. he has an Aura that's for sure#also bc i accidentally glanced at some screenshots from the next season and knew which characters were gonna make it#so i wasnt that worried#though i did have a mini heart attack when gal almost killed arthur#bro i fucking JUMPED out of my bed when veríssimo blocked that shit. WITH ARNALDO FRITZ'S FUCKIN SWORD. LIKE BRO#also the SHOCK when cellbit did the grand reveal abt who kian really was#my jaw was left hanging open#erin's death had me feeling equal parts sad and happy#sad that she got turned into a human shishkebab by gal but happy that she went out in her own terms. in a way#plus the damage her grenades did was nothing to scoff at#i didnt even have time to process fe getting fucking thanos-snapped out of existence#then the masked guys came#and thats when everything started going downhill (emotionally)#I FUCKING KNEW from the moment cellbit mentioned the fog dissipating and kaiser was standing in front of kian. i knew what he was gonna do#and yet i broke down completely when he spoke his final words#from that point onward it was nonstop crying til the end of the episode man#'always the three of us' my ass THEY TOOK MY BOY'S HOMIES. BOTH OF THEM#and then the post credits scene#i had to muffle my fucking sobbing cause 1) my roommate was studying for an exam they had in the morning#and 2) it was 1 in the fucking morning and my neighbour's bedroom is on the other side of the wall#holy fuckign shit cellbit what the fuck man#i shouldve known better after witnessing the finale of osnf. but you know how it is with hope#its gonna be another sleepless night after taking all that in#the feeling of loss and mourning is unreal#no tv series or movies have ever made me cheer or sob or feel like these made-on-the-fly stories have. not one#i hope that one day I'll be fluent enough in portuguese so i can rewatch and understand these series in their entirety#its 3:51am. goodnight
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feeling bad 👍
#aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuvgggggghhhhhhh#just cried for like 10 minutes because i cant recapture a time of my life i loved so much#im in a better place generally now but i miss that community i miss it so bad#i would literally live in that squalor again to get that friend group back#i miss hke so bad dude. i miss it. my heart fucking aches man.#i dunno i guess im chasing a fucking pipe dream but i just want them back. i want the constant activity#i want the silly in jokes. the dedication to each others characters. the fabulous world building#i miss being able to go to sleep and have ten notifications when i wake up#because everyone is always there and loud and i love ghem#i still do. god i still do. i love them all so so much#but we're all distant now. i can message them sure but they arent here with me#i wish they were with me#but ships pass in the night i guess#wish they wouldnt. wish i could keep them with me#i need silksong to drop cuz maybe then theyll come back#maybe i'll have hke back. at max volume again. maybe..#a bitch can only hope#i just miss... friends.#like a solid friend group#i havent had one in a while. ive always had at least one real solid friend group for ages#but hke was my most recent and that one didnt explode so i disnt scrabble to find another#so now that its slipping out of my grasp im just too busy trying to pull it back that i cant find anyone else#and besides#im 21#who would even wanna deal with a depressed disabled 21 year old butch bitch in this day and age#i just want what i had as a depressed teenager on the internet. friends who i assumed i would die with#but ships pass. i guess.#i dunno. maybe im just overreacting. maybe im just lonely#which i am#but
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thinking about Cold Mountain, i watched it on more than one occasion as a kid, i absolutely loved it, thought it was such a well made film even then, but it also devasted me, and because of that, i have not rewatched it as an adult, ive been too scared, and thats a shame, because i actually think its very dear to me
#ive seen plenty of sad or even cruel movies with depraved characters but i just cannot KNOWINGLY watch a sad LOVE story#and its probably from something like a cold mountain or brokeback mountain. watching them and being blindsided by the pain#i learned my lesson early on as a kid^ if i hear a love story is sad i dont watch it. it affects me too much for too long afterwards#or a walk to remember i watched tht one as a kid too and it wrecked me man (& i still havent rewatched tht as an adult either)#all of these are great films. so yea i never watched a fault in our stars/the notebook/or whatever else is widely known to be sad#hell i cried today because i felt sorry for this guy in a love triangle tht got rejected by the girl. AND I WASNT EVEN ROOTING FOR HIM!#but he looked really sad and so it broke my heart ugh. im such a big baby when it comes to love#i have a hard time w things feeling unfair (dont diagnose me lmao) & love stories tht arent a HEA feels unfair tho unrealistic of me#tho i do ship toxic pairings (tht rarely if ever end up together) and i dont expect HAE for them. its specific for a romantic movie/series#anyway sorry for yapping in the tags. my point was tht i am thinking of being courageous & rewatching cold mountain someday
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friends. ive officially caught up to yttd and. My word
#jay does a think#yttd spoilers#my friend told me to play shin's route#mainly cuz for the entire time up till ch2 p2 i was begging and clawing at my walls for some of his lore. even just a morsel.#LMAO.. this guy is far from a favourite but urgh he makes my heart hurt and thinking about him upsets me and fills me with so much sorrow#shin tsukimi.. man#in the end i made two save files#one for kanna and one for shin#just to see how each one unfolds at the end of ch2 and. by god.#i was on call with that same friend streaming my gameplay and let me tell you how emotionally destroyed i was#choosing shin's route had me tear up and shake a little but it was only when i chose to save kanna that i felt like#my heart was being ripped out my chest and blended into a smoothie#i did not see that coming. i did not expect to see such a. smiley joe tazuna glowing in front of sara's eyes bro#“those tears don't suit ya” “Don't cry anymore sara” DO YOU WANT ME DEAD#AND THEN HE REPEATED HIS LAST WORDS#EXCEPT THIS TIME HE WAS SMILING BRIGHTLY AND HOPEFULLY AND SARA WAS ABLE TO SAY IT BACK AND OH GOD. OH MAN#this is the first time i've cried this much over a character in a while. like full wretched sobs rocking back and forth eyes red#i like him a lot. sort of#enough about him though let's talk about the emotional wreckage that was 3a and 3b#i really love the dummies! they all have my heart. chews on them#i like anzu and ranmaru in particular though. ill need some time to string the thoughts together but#ranmaru's relationship with his own humanity and his discovery of his own will to live was so interesting and compelling to me#rotates him in my mind. what a loser. he needs to be tucked into bed asap#i was able to keep all of them alive until the banquet so that's a plus!!!!#3a and 3b were constantly keeping me on my toes with the keiji death scares bro#i didn't like keiji at first. he felt so slimy. but he grew on me like a fungus and now i think i would become violent#if something happened to that poor guy#but hes ok for now. hes ok hes alive and well and so are sara and gin and shin and and oh god that's it...#anyways! :D#IM OUT OF TAGS FUCK. I HAVE SO MANY MORE THOUGHTS THOUGH
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yongpil's dad is SOOOO fucking annoying what the hell is wrong with him
#had like 4 episodes to catch up and i just got done and i need to beat this man up#like yeah ok he went through a lot whatever but literally ruining his sons life is fucking crazy oh my god#if they dont resolve his track in the next episode i feel like im gonna be too annoyed to watch hes making me so mad#and also i like sangdo but my brother my guy PLEASE why are you hurting yourself even More on purpose#episode 7 8 and 9 are literally crazy like my heart was genuinely aching in real life i cried the whole time he just loves his moms :(#ji changwook.......how do you act thits well are you fucking crazy#hes so natural just thinking about yongpil is making me tear up rn HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :((((((((#just a gentle sweet caring character and this man plays him so well im gonna lose my mind#also omg samdal is SO CUTEFSKJSDJF buying a disposable camera to take pictures literally my baby#also . the flashback scene of her conversation w yongpils dad oh i need to kill this man hes so annoying#was Nawt gonna post about this show but i feel like i had so many thoughts after having 4 episodes to binge#and i felt like i had to let them out#h talks
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