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neostellarjpg · 25 days ago

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inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

#davepeta #davepetasprite #davepetasprite^2 #davesprite #nepeta leijon #davenep #art #writing #homestuck #i wrote this a few months ago #reread it recently and decided to trim it down and share

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crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington · 11 months ago

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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶

i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)

have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖

i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...

i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned

mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭

i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔

i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends

i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about

people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled

in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol

the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭

its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭

mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)

i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.

its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!

she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!

she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"

she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)

she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.

he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.

THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.

she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7

but again, those are the consequences of HER actions

her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭

their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"

its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!

you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)

everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.

obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.

the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"

she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!

just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.

im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!

im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.

i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!

i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process

talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol

i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭

its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.

all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.

i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.

also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!

thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!

#mia winters #resident evil #ethan winters #mithan

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bonefall · 3 months ago

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the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.

Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."

As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.

If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.

I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."

And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!

Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.

"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.

In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.

In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.

All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.

They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.

(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)

Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.

You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.

#Recently I've been reading a book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans #And something I really appreciate about it is the way that it explains the way that abusive people *think*#The way that victim and abuser typically have a WILDLY different view of the world #The most important thing about this book though it how much it stresses that *these impulses are still human*#They play these power games to keep a sense of control in their relationship. It feels GOOD to hurt and dominate their partner.#And even when it describes the worst of humanity and the behaviors that escalate into physical violence--#--the book keeps in mind that anyone could change. But not everyone will. And it is NOT your responsibility as a victim to change them.#Reading it is painful but also very validating.#I wish I'd heard of it several years ago when I was first leaving that relationship lmao #but. How do you reconcile it when one of the most traumatic experiences of your life was an act of love in their eyes?#When it *wasn't* part of a game to hurt you but something they legitimately did in the thought they were protecting you.#You don't even get the satisfaction of having it just be nice and simple. That it was bad and we allll agree it was bad.#Frostie girlie you and me are going out to Carvel's and I'm buying us both a milkshake #warrior cats analysis #child abuse

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crguang · 2 months ago

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HI HELLO SHALOM INTERRO ??? THOUGHTS ??? HOW DO WE FEEL ABOUT CHIEF BEING THE PERSON TO BREAK THE PARADEISOS LOBOTOMY

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INSANEEEEEEEEEEE. UNBELIEVABLE. WHAT????????! they are intrinsically linked together. at once by the shackles, paradeisos, loss of self, mutual liberation and their inevitable end perceived by others. they’re literally the same. shalom pre-lobotomy is chief pre-awakening; refusing to be controlled, full of vitality, hatred and defiance (as defined by having freedom). i have so many thoughts in my head and it’s hard to concretize them all but the language shalom used to talk about how chief opened the door for doubt in her mind stroke me, it’s so violent. “rift” “corrupting” “shattering” “beast/monster” “tore me apart”… it really conveyed how shocking of a transition it must have been for her to suddenly feel those “unnecessary emotions” that had been taken from her for 8 years. even more, it must be so surreal to understand that you’ve been dissected in two, dehumanized and objectified while simultaneously being able to gaze upon that part of yourself that cries in indignation. if she was truly emotionless it wouldn’t mean a thing, but she’s not… she’s so incredibly self-aware. i think this is what makes it so sad for me, knowing you have an expiration date based on your usefulness because you were “made” for one purpose while being able to feel pleasure and have desires, etc— to understand the weight of what has been snatched from you by people who think themselves righteous when they’re really just a bunch of fear-stricken cowards would have anybody go crazy. seeing what paradeisos did to her made me so sick. the apathy with which they treat every threat to themselves is shocking but straight up mocking her will to live for herself by calling the monster they’ve made using (a part of) her Rebel made my stomach churn like that is so disgusting… shalom is aware of the severity of what paradeisos did to her and it’s sick that she has to risk everything just for less than a 1% chance of success that doesn’t even include her survival mind you. im just SICKK

to think she was so full of life and fighting spirit and is now reduced to “resigned” looks and smiles, compared to an instrument and a doll— oh my god sev it made me so uncomfortable. i know that during the loyalty test in the consciousness observatory or whatever, she was essentially embodying paradeisos but reading her being described as “doll-like” “void” and such was so tough… for chief to get that impression of her being an empty shell, expression that shalom uses again in the end to describe herself, then for shalom wonder if she’s even human afterwards made me so sadddd 😭 i do like these two excerpts though because i feel like it describes the duality of her character well, the surface level at least. the fact that she is capable of being genuine and has mastered the art of “embodying paradeisos” so that they wouldn’t notice that flaw makes her impossible to figure her out without diving into her psyche. even chief couldn’t understand her fully, she wont be able to now that she’s forgotten her. she’s so wonderfully complex and her interrogation portrayed that concept super well.

ive talked about shalom and her smiles before but another thing that’s always struck me as odd was that she kinda laughed too much for an unfeeling robot. im not talking about her cute little chuckles either, yeah sometimes it’s only to add to her manipulation but at the end of flora unfurl, when all of her plans were coming to fruition and in the face of coquelic’s rage, she was laughing then still. her laughs and smiles are sometimes so inappropriate but her laughter especially stood out to me and i didnt really know why until this one scene… it takes more effort to fake a laugh than to fake a smile like she does all the time; from what i remember she wasn’t mocking coquelic or being unnecessarily cruel, but when she burst out laughing i was so confused exactly because it felt unnecessary and out of place, like what happened in that scene. laughter is often accompanied by emotion and during a time where rationality couldn’t explain the motive behind her action, schorl immediately scanned her for defects like that’s insane. the level of scrutiny she’s constantly under is impossibly oppressive— “try to rectify such purposeless physicalities”?! cant even laugh anymore because of woke. can’t voice her thoughts, can’t be fully genuine with the person who freed her from rationality, she literally cannot do shit omg. all of herself has to be available to paradeisos’ sterile gaze every second of every day… she’s used to that scrutiny but ughhh it’s not fair and it’s not how human beings are treated. shalom i will save you from this prison if it’s the last thing i do

despite it all, she has her small pleasures and it makes me want to scream and die. the way she “plays” with schorl by having it scan her meaninglessly, how she enjoys catching people off guard and observing their reactions, the way she’s always making fucking jokes?! so important to me. shes so unserious. shalom making jokes that fall flat because they’re in the middle of a heavy topic or issue is so important to me. “haha your garden’s better off with me than dead right? kidding, heh” and “why should i give a fuck about humanity?… just kidding! love these people” is so 😭😭😭 i genuinely find her hilarious because she doesn’t relieve any tension at all, she is NOT meant to be comedic relief 😭

back to her and chief tho…… is it not absolutely crazy how she was acting like they were once married with three kids before chief got amnesia. mind you they met ONCE before, officially. ONE TIME. and she was like “you made a lasting impression on me” “we’re friends” “i wanted to see you/my own subtle yearning to see you again” “we held hands like this once before… i still remember the touch” “being apart from you, i cant help but worry” SLOW DOWWWWWWN. MY GOODNESS. i know chief changed her life but shalom was so intense from the get go like she wants that cookie so effing bad. they used the words “tender” “intimate” and “gently” too often for me to believe they dont want each other like. and why was the hand holding written like a fanfiction— matter of fact, this whole thing was written like a fanfiction because why am i reading about the exposed skin of shalom’s collarbone, her pushing chief onto her bed then essentially climbing into it as well to whisper in her ear WHILE encouraging her to choke her?!?!?!?! what was even happening. lesbians make me sick. what a freak. i actually dont know how many times ive called shalom a freak while playing the first 2 interro phases

wish i could add all the screenshots from the choking scene but tumblr’s a BITCH. but this whole thing was insane. LIKE INSANE. this is gayer than 000 kissing chief. this is gayer than being a housewife for the assassin that kidnapped you. reconnecting with an old “friend” you cant remember yet feel an undeniable familiarity and connection towards and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and exposed in front of her regardless of ulterior motives… soulmates across space and time and circumstance idkkk, at the end of the day the one who can understand shalom the best if given a real chance is chief idc they’re mirror images of each other. shalom was so genuine in the interrogation room despite chief being suspicious of her like im sure of it now. the fact that they freed each other is forever ingrained in my heart, that is the most precious gift they could’ve given to each other even if it was done unconsciously from chief’s part. ALSO the fact that the one moment we hear the most emotion from shalom is when she’s at chief’s bedside telling her to come back? yeah. exactly.

let me stop yapping but there are many things that are escaping me that made me go “holy fuck”, i have a hundred screenshots and recordings just from her interro like it really blew my mind. shalom’s character is a bit clearer to me now and it really does put everything into perspective aaaaaa im aching to write for her properly this time

#sat answers

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gammija · 5 months ago

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PLEASE tell us more about your vampwolf au

i WILL!

First of all, the main purpose of this au is to have fun imagining vampire!martin and werewolf!jon and secrets/newly discovered abilities. so the details are very vague unless i could come up with something i found interesting

Elias is a centuries-old vampire who runs the Institute partly because he wants to gather and keep knowledge on the supernatural, partly as his personal bloodbank (shamelessly stole this idea from this fic). The supernatural is, just like in tma, not believed in outside of specific circles. Vampires are more or less typical; need to drink human blood every so often, can't go in sunlight, can turn into bats, can make thralls. New vampires are supernaturally bound to the one who made them.

Somewhere in the latter half of the 1900s, Elias turns Martin. Martin half-knew what he was getting into, but he did it to help his mom and he was lonely enough that he didnt particularly care about the consequences. Idk what Elias specifically hoped to get out of it - perhaps his previous lackey died and he just neede someone new to do his dirty work.

After Martin becomes a vampire, it becomes clear that he's quite talented at doing subtle short-term thralls on humans. A useful skill, Elias decides to keep him around for that as well, and sticks him in the basement as the archivist, which isn't a specific role in this au - just an excuse so that Martin doesn't see the sunlight. He's not allowed to snack from the Institute's employees, he's got to source his own blood. Basically Martin's life sucks and the only fun he gets is messing up the organization of the old files that get sent down.

This next part is a lot vaguer but maybe Elias wants to experiment with different combinations of supernatural creatures - there's quite a few that are born out of humans, and what if you could stack the effects somehow! and what if he could control whatever monster results from it by making them his vampire! but the problem is, as soon as someone becomes a vampire, their body stops changing, so no new supernatural abilities can stack. So he needs to keep his experiment bound to him with more normal, capitalist means until they're done cooking. or maybe he has a cursed contract for employees, idk

IN ANY CASE researcher Jon is investigating some odd deaths around the Lukas' estate. Other employees tell him to stay away from that place, it's not worth it, and Elias is like "oh nooo Jon definitely don't do a stake-out at their mansion during the full moon ;)"

Obviously the Lukasses are werewolves (they're lone wolves lol) and when Peter spots one of Elias' guys around his home, he decides to make an example of him. He attacks Jon in his car, drags him out, nearly chomps his leg off, leaves him for dead on the grounds.

Martin is sent by Elias to go and save Jon, and he can't really refuse, so off he goes. He drives a half-conscious Jon back to London and drops him off at the hospital, making sure to mind-control the people he meets into believing that Jon had come there alone. As soon as it seems like Jon won't die, he leaves.

Jon recovers in the hospital, needing to walk with crutches for a while after, but he goes back to work. because now he has a new mystery to chase: who saved him? He had lost a lot of blood by that point and he's not great with faces so he doesn't recognize Martin, but he knows there was someone there, he couldn't have driven himself back, especially with his leg. Despite this obvious truth, somehow all the nurses are convinced he came there by himself? he needs to figure this out. Also, for some reason he keeps having to shave a lot more often and craving rare steaks for dinner, but surely that's nothing.

Meanwhile Elias is happy that he's now got a werewolf who's already tied to the institute, and sticks Jon together with Martin in the basement so his vampire can keep an eye on his wolfy, make sure that Jon doesn't die while he goes poking around at other supernatural creatures as he tries to find out what happened that night, or that he doesn't kill someone and get sent to jail come next full moon. Set-up, done.

After that, I don't have a very strict idea. I think it'd be fun if Leitner (or someone like him) does his thing where he nearly threatens to tell Jon about Elias' plans for him, and Eliase has to kill him - except he lets Martin do it in the classic vampire style, so Jon can walk in on him as he sucks the lifeforce out of Leitner. Extra fun if Jon hadn't put together that Martin is a vampire yet.

Jon flees and goes to Georgie who's like 'oh yeah werewolves are real nbd'. Then, the most tragic part of this au kicks in....

as a werewolf, the Admiral is instinctively scared of Jon 😔

#tma #somewhere in there Jon finds out that he's now a werewolf and has the worst time of it #but in a fun way :)#the magnus archives #tma s4 #jonathan sims #tma vampwolf au #martin blackwood #elias bouchard #i cant decide how serious i want the threat of vamp and werewolf bloodlust to be. on the one hand angst. on the other fluff.#but since im not doing anything else with this au i dont actually have to decide #tma au #joos yaps #gammijart #ish #ask #anonymous #anon

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rosezza · 11 months ago

Text

࿐Give up on me

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

-r

— i'll love you till my breathing stops.

Warnings: soft!rafe, crying, strong language, no happy ending. I honestly love dark Rafe much more but yk

"What the fuck! Is wrong! With you?!" You yelled as cold tears streamed down your makeup smeared face. Sobs coming from you as you stared at Rafe.

The secret that yours and Rafes relationship was only a bet had came out to you. Over a year of dating had all been a lie. And it hurt you. All those mornings he had you wrapped close to him as he kissed you all over your face was a lie. All the times he had said he loved you was a lie. All the things you and Rafe every shared was a lie. And it cut you deep. Your throat tightened as you watched Rafe with blurry eyes. Your heart ached and your stomach was twisting. You loved him, you really did. And it hurt to know that he never loved you back. Your mind going through all the small things you and Rafe had experienced only hurt even more.

"Y/n please-.. Listen to me i didnt- i-" Rafe tried as he locked eyes with you. His heart shattered as he saw your tears. Especially since he was the one that caused them to fall down your pretty face. He had promised to make sure whoever made you cry never placed a hand on you ever again. And now he was the one making you cry.

"No!- no! Dont even fucking talk to me Rafe!.." you cried as you began sobbing even more. His soft voice reminded you of the sweet things he said to you. And it hurt you even more.

Rafe stood there as his anexiety creeped up. He was scared to say something wrong and he didnt want to lose you. He never wanted to. It was all a bet yes. But he had fallen inlove with you. And it was something he couldnt let go of, he thought he was unlovable. No girl had ever showed him as much love as you did. You had understood him in different ways then his past relationships ever had. He had actually managed to think of a future with you. And it destroyed him to think that all if that could possibly end now. You were the first girl he actually cared about and respected.

He was always the tough guy, always the one who was in control. But to you he was different. Only to you. And he had grown attached to you.

But you didnt know that.

You were stuck thinking he never cared about you. And it wouldnt even be a surprise considering you got with Rafe Cameron. Everyone had warned you about him but you gave him a chance.

And you actually thought he was the right one. The way he held you, the way he kissed you, the way he tied your shoes even if you were out in public, the way he took care of you, the way you danced to stupid little tunes whenever you felt like it, the way he bought you flowers, The way he loved you

"I spoke to my mother about you Rafe, i told everyone that i found the right one. I was so fucking stupid werent i? Because all you are after is a slut." You cried as you pointed a finger at Rafe. Which hit a soft spot in him. His eyes began tearing up as he watched this whole situation unfold right infront of him. The person he loved and truly wanted in his life was sad because of him.

Your anger just turned into complete sadness as you realised that this was it. This was the end

"I should have listened when people told me.." you cried. Your voice high pitched because of the way your throat was tightened.

"Y/n I love you.." Rafes voice was weak and he took a step closer to you. The tears in his eyes made you feel slightly bad but you couldnt give in to him again. Not now. Not anymore.

"Stop saying that when you dont!-" you cried out again. You had a lump in your throat and you felt lightheaded. You hated this and you just wanted to go away.

"I give up on you"

Your words hit him like a thousand bricks at once as you snatched up your bag from the counter. Rafe was speechless as you began to walk towards the door. "No-.. no, no no. Y/n!-" Rafe called out with desperation and guilt in his voice, finally acting. He didnt want this to end. He never did. A tear ran down his cheek as he caught up to you before you could leave. He took a hold on your arm but you quickly pulled away and turned to him. Looking in his eyes. Both of your eyes red because of the tears that were both plastered on your faces.

"Never fucking touch me again." You sneered at him and his eyebrows frowned. He didnt want this. He wanted you in his arms again, but the chances if that completely faded as you began walking away from his house. Leaving him heartbroken at the doorframe. Guilt washed over him. Regretting that he ever agreed on that bet. Thinking about how different things would have been if you didnt find out you were a bet.

You heard his cries as you walked. A part of you wanted to turn around and run to him, hug him and tell him its going to be alright. Because a part of you still loved him. You could never stop loving him because you once showed the love you had for him. But all of that was gone. Your future with him was over. Your heart ached. It wanted to re-connect with his. But it hurt you to know this wasnt real.

You had given up on him. Forever.

Taglist: @necroflame 💗💗

#rafe x reader #rafe fanfiction #outer banks #drew starkey #rafe cameron #rafe outer banks #fanfic #rafe obx

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the-lonelyshepherd · 9 months ago

Note

what’s your opinion on the travlottienat s2 sex scene

hi! um category five autism event and i got way too serious about this. however its not my problem.

oookay SO first off obligatory i am a minor BUT we are analyzing this from a narrative/plot perspective and not in a sexual way. theres naked people in art its fine. I think this scene is fascinating from like. not a shipping perspective but a character based one. it shows a lot about travis and it also shows a lot about lottienat (mostly talking abt the character combo and less the ship) and also jackie. yeah, jackie.

Madonna della Pietà, Michaelangelo

To start - even w how it looks, this is a Lottienat scene. Not even from a shipping perspective but because this scene SHOWCASES their "rivalry", the contrast in their characters and how they are perceived to the rest of the team (w Travis as a stand in for the team). It shows how they're both very present figures in the whole yellow jackets situation (shown through travis but can apply to all of them imo). Nat is there with travis. shes physical, shes providing. But lottie is also there spiritually, and against the norm, leading whats going on.

Nat as the physical

lottie as the spiritual.

so despite the fact that natalie is physically there, travis cant (probably physically cant as hallucinations are NOT voluntary) take his mind off lottie. because she can give him something, in his mind, that nat cant. Shes almost an escape - nat is the harsh reality hes living while lottie is the voice that brings him hope that his brother is alive. lottie is someone who can lead in a way that he wants to make sense. and its an idealized version of her in his mind, probably stemming from his issues w authority figures like his dad and the built up version of masculinity in his mind.

And this scene also emphasizes Nat’s role in the Javi situation. Because of this:

The wound on her leg where she faked Javi’s death so that Travis would stop his self-destructive search for his brother, who by all means should have been dead. Why? Because who is Nat but a realist? She’s gotten everything from life thrown at her and came out of it with that attitude, and who can blame her?

But this scene is right after she brings Travis forged proof that his brother is dead. Her guilt is present through this scene, and showing the wound is to emphasize that. layers!!! but travis has a lot of guilt throughout this scene as well - not only because of the supposed death of his younger brother that he as the older sibling feels at fault for but also… the jackie situation.

The Jacke of it all:

yeah this is a jackie scene. not only is it right before when they FUCKING EAT HER but like in spirit as well. Okay so the thing is that jackie is the character who puts the most emphasis on virginity, we all know this, but in the end it's travis that gets the "first time" that she puts so much emphasis on. Yes, jackie and travis lose their virginities to each other, but in this scene travis checks off doing it with his actual girlfriend. That, and he does almost the same thing jackie did with jeff. She looks to shauna's photo, travis thinks of lottie. They have to be outside of their bodies to perform because both of them have hangups (for one reason or another).

It's not that Travis doesn't want to have sex like jackie with jeff, he clearly tries, but he can't do it while thinking very clearly. First by being drugged, then by imagining himself doing something unrelated. And they would've been happier if they hadn't done it - jackie is immediately shunned for it. If you think about it, she literally dies for it. Travis feels like he cheated and did something wrong despite being drugged out of his mind and having no real control over the situation (something jackie didnt know). and then IMMEDIETLY after this scene, there’s the Jackie feast. Not only is she everywhere symbliocally, shes also physically in them now. THE JACKIE OF IT ALLLLL

The Pietà

The Pietà is a reference to the 6th sorrow of mary. for all you guys who arent christian/catholic →

The Seven Sorrows of Mary are seven significant moments in her life:

Simeon's prophecy of joy and sorrow.

The flight to Egypt to escape King Herod.

Finding Jesus in the temple after being lost.

Mary meeting Jesus on his way to crucifixion.

Witnessing Jesus' crucifixion and death.

Holding Jesus' body after his crucifixion.

Jesus' burial, which Mary mourns.

To clear things up here - lottie as mary in this context is not a “maternal” as in motherly way - imo its supposed to be peace and hope, guidance/authority. travis, despite being famous for his daddy issues, is hinted at having mommy issues as well (see: him not getting hugged goodbye by his mom in the pilot while his dad and javi both do)

also, he clearly struggles a lot w masculinity - having a woman in authority doesnt come naturally to him, but in this moment it is his only comfort.

so in the wilderness, there’s a complete power shift from the outside world. in this isolated environment there’s a female majority - specifically, the team, who already (roughly….. it gets messy but ykwim) trust and know each other. they already have a, albeit shifting, power dynamic established. in the normal, precrash, world, it would be isolated to them. but post crash, they are now the majority and the three guys left standing are now forced to assimilate into that instead.

Ben had power - he was one of their coaches and an adult - but with the death of coach martinez, he loses a lot of power 1) because he’s only an assistant 2) hes outnumbered 3) he doesnt want to be in charge of these insane girls anymore. he just wants gay daydreams. let him live.

Then there’s Javi - he’s younger, and none of the girls really know him, but they’re generally nice to him. he cant contribute much though - and eventually he has to contribute all he has - his literal flesh.

Finally travis - arguably the most involved as he is the same age as the team. this puts him on their field as “involved”. He originally has this very built up view of masculinity that you can tell stems from a place of self consciousness/ self loathing as well as a buildup of society’s expectations on him as a teenage boy in the 90’s. He’s supposed to be tough, hes supposed to be in charge, hes supposed to be better. And when hes thrown into this female dominated space it completely falls apart. He’s not the best shooter, he doesn’t have authority or leadership. The only other older male figures are dead or have tried their best to remove themselves from the situation. He has to completely reevaluate everything he knows - Travis has come to learn that there is power in being near and simply being an approximation of femininity.

Travis has come to learn that there is power in being near and simply being an approximation of femininity. Travis has gone from the top (he was never really there, but the built up idea of masculinity put him there in his mind, though even then he had doubts and it came from a negative place) and to bottom of the totem pole - and now he’s rising back up to somewhere in the middle by connecting with femininity, by recognizing women in authority, and also trying to have that hope and spiritual belief that is brought about by these female figures. The middle is where travis can reconcile with the weirder things (ive been in discussions about how travis actually parodies a lot of classic feminine tropes) that clash with what travis should be.

overall this scene is fucking insane. its lottienat its travnat its mommy issues its daddy issues its deadass jackie its an older brothers guilt its religious its a sin its deconstructing the very nature of yourself and those around you. all through the power of weird sex hallucination. and eating someone right after.

if youre still here i love you. please send me yellowjackets discussion asks i love them so much <3 feel free to ask questions and shit, also if none of this makes sense im sorry lmao.

ALSO. special thanks to @periwinklekryptonite who like carried this discussion and came up with like half of tjis. ask him about trans travis or travis in general or maybe pike. shoooo go send him travis questions.

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unidot · 1 year ago

Text

Some Fade Valorant headcanons from my twt

-Since her powers are not mind reading and not clear, she also uses her psychology knowledge to base assumptions on people and use their fears against them more affectively

-Fidgets with her hands a lot. She either uses an object to keep her hands busy or uses her nightmare tendrils

-Doing henna and drawing are some kind of meditation for her. They help her to keep herself grounded when the nightmares and visions get especially bad

-She prefers bitter coffee

-Born in the city of Bursa, later moved to İstanbul

-She doesnt have a cat of her own, mostly takes care of street cats

-She loves homemade food but is not that good at cooking so she mostly goes to restaurants that makes homemade like food

-She is around 172 cm (5'8") tall and is 27-28 years old

-since its confirmed that the nightmare is not a seperate entity, the prowlers act on her most basic emotions deep down (playing with people she likes, hissing at people she dislikes etc)

-She cant shut down her powers because they work like a 6th sense in a way. She constantly feels the fear and discomfort around her but choses to not focus on it

-Designed her own nazar symbol

-She is really bad at singing

-likes photography and she is good at it thanks to needing to take a lot of photos in her job

-Knows hacking because she hacked into Cypher's computers and compiled all the information on the protocol without being detected

-she sometimes plays chess with Cypher

-Her favorite color is blue (color of nazar, her vest and her ult)

-does coffee fortune telling for her friends

-her favourite food is mantı

-didnt really had a good education but has a lot of knowledge on stuff thanks to reading a lot and doing a lot of research on stuff she is curious about

-She was really skinny when she joined vp (mostly because she didnt really took good care of herself as she did research for her blackmail attack) gained some fat and muscle after vp's food and training

-she learned some German in middleschool and highschool. With that vp has 2 agents who both knows Turkish and German (Kj being half Turkish from her mothers side)

-Omen and her dms are full of cat videos they found

-her prowlers name is Karabasan

-her favorite book genres are books that explore the human mind or detective books

-she tans easily

-she dislikes swimming. Prefers to read a book on the beach

-she is generally tidy but can get messy when she is focused on a mission. Her desk especially becomes a mess

-she smells like coffee and burnt sages

-she doesn't really care about other agents' opinions on her. She is still friendly sometimes and civil to them, but if they don't forgive her, she honestly doesn't give a shit. And agents that still dislike her are mostly civil towards her

-if she is feeling down, she often goes on walks outside. Helps to clear her mind

-its hard for her to care for something or someone. But if she does, she cares so much

-she has a motorcycle back home. It's easier and more efficient for her since Istanbul traffic can be hell

-she is great at gambling or games like gambling since she is observant and can just feel the peoples fear or anxiety of losing

-she sometimes falls asleep (passes out) on random places if she hasn't slept in a really long time

-Omen knit a sweater and a scarf for her

-she gets along with Harbor really well. They share books and talk about their experiences with working in Realm while drinking tea or coffee

-she can really relate to Neon with not being able to control her powers fully and that affecting her life and relationships. She doesn't admit it, though

-she plays backgammon with Cypher and Harbor

-she spends a lot of time and effort on her "messy" appearance

-she is one of the busiest agents. She gets a lot of assignments (mostly intel work)

-she knows all of the agents' most secrets and fears but she honestly couldnt care less. Your secret is safe with her (If you are on her good side)

-she prefers to use a Phantom than a Vandal

-she finds Dizzy cute because she looks like a sleepy kitten

-she is still secretly salty about KAY/O catching her

-she and Skye dont really like eachother that well but they see eachother often during the early mornings (Skye going for a morning run and Fade still not sleeping) and Skye's tiger and Fade's prowlers likes to play so they end up seeing eachother more than they would like

-Used to go to clubs and bars often. Mostly to stay awake and keep her mind busy

-She is actually kinda rich. Her bounty hunter job paid her well

-Secretly wants Neon's black cat plushie but would never admit it

-she is really great at reading people but she is bad at interacting positively towards them. Her compliments or her comforting words can be awkward or just not appropriate

-other than cats, one of the other animals she really likes is octopuses

-she and Chamber trade expensive coffee

-she has a lot of scars on her body

-she is not that psychically strong compared to other agents

-she has high alcohol tolerance

-names all the cats she looks after on the streets. Either gives them cute names or just normal human names

-she is superstitious. Mostly about nazar

-her hand writting is really messy

-she was born left handed but she is now ambidextrous

#valorant #valorant headcanons #headcanons #fade valorant #valorant fade #uni talks

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unknownperson246 · 5 months ago

Note

I might have an idea for a Duff fic. He finds out that the reader’s the vampire but isn’t freaked out about it. In fact, he finds it very sexy and asks to be bitten. You can do as you wish with that idea. 😏

Bloodless

words: 994

warnings: *smut* *alcohol* *dirty talk* *female vampire* *mentions of blood* *fluff at the end*

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊

You are sitting on the couch with Duff. You and he met a few weeks ago when you were finding people to suck blood out of. You wanted to suck them of the most vital thing in their body. You wanted Duff to be your victim that's why you brought him over. Your heart kept wanting to hurt him but the more you got to know him he was an innocent man who was very kind and you didn't want to take his life away from him. You found out he did care about you and that you weren't just some one-night stand. He found out that you were a vampire and he seemed turned on by it that’s how you guys fucked because he didnt mind the idea of being bitten. He found it very sexy to be bitten all over his body. You bite him very lightly. You don't want to hurt him but you still want him to have pleasure. Three weeks earlier…

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻

“Hi, can I have vodka?” You ask the bartender. You were short-tempered with any man who came near you that night because of how much you were craving blood.

“Sure” the bartender smiles at you while handing you your tiny glass of vodka.

“Thank you,” You say, giving the bartender a small smile.

“Hmm, I see you like vodka?” A man with blonde locks asks you.

“Yep. Now I don't mean to be rude or anything but please can you back off?” You tell Duff with a glint of anger in your eyes.

“Sorry,” Duff turns around and minds his own business.

You were surprised at that moment. No man has ever left you alone after saying that. You immediately start to like Duff because he is respectful to you and your needs at that moment. You turn to where Duff is standing and you lightly tap Duff on the shoulder.

“Hey I'm sorry for being rude a couple of seconds ago I don't know what got into me. Do you wanna sit down and talk?.” You ask trying not to be awkward.

Your craving for blood instantly goes away. You are only hungry for the man in front of you. You like him. You find him fascinating. You take him home and you show him that you're a vampire.

“Holy shit. I knew it” Duff says in surprise.

“I'm not scared of you,” Duff says.

“I know. I knew the moment you talked to me that you weren't scared of me” You smirk.

“Bite me, babe,” Duff tells you.

“It's gonna hurt” You tease Duff.

“Bullshit, I'm into biting. I think it's sexy.” He says while his hands make his way to your neck.

Your fangs make their way onto Duff's neck. You bite him lightly leaving small marks on his neck.

“Mmm” He purrs sweet nothings in your ear.

You immediately get on top of him as he is sitting on the chair in your room. He pushes you to the bed. His hands peel your skirt off. His fingers make his way in your panties and his long fingers make his way into your wet hole.

“Oh Duff” You moan.

He takes his fingers out and he gets on top of you.

“You're such a good girl for a vampire you know? Who would have thought a vampire could control themselves around my kind.” Duff says teasingly.

“Oh Duff you make me a good girl. Im begging for your love baby” You say softly like an innocent human being.

“Oh I love how you love to act like a human. You're such a gorgeous honey. Turn me into one of you” Duff coos.

“Not tonight babe” You mumble as you bite Duff on the neck.

“See what did I tell you? You're a goody two shoes for a human” Duff moans.

Duff gets on top of you and he grabs his huge cock with his big hands and he places it at your entrance.

“Such a pretty vampire cunt.” Duff smirks.

Duff shoves his cock inside of you.

“Fuck Duff” You cry as your sharp nails scratch Duff's bare back.

“DUFF!” You sob as his hips collide with yours over and over again.

His hips smack with yours over and over again.

“Oh, baby who knew a vampire cunt would feel so good. Your still so fucking wet for a human” Duff moans as he is doing you.

Your hands grab his shoulders and you start to bite him again. You stop biting him. “Keep on going baby” You cry as he keeps going.

“Faster,” You say as his thick cock slides in you over and over again.

“Duff female vampires can't come. You have to do it yourself” You moan as you're breathless from him fucking you.

Duff throws his head back. Duff’s legs start to shake and his toes start to shake. Your hands are going through his hair as he orgasms in you. Duff leaves his orgasm inside of you. He lays down taking deep breaths after doing you.

“That was fun,” he says, trying to catch his breath.

“Yeah. I have a question. Was this a one time thing or do you like me?” You ask Duff while facing him on the bed.

“I want this to be forever Y/N when I said to turn me into a vampire I was serious.” He said.

“Well maybe I can if that is what you really want. Think about it though you're going to be like this for an eternity” You say as your hands move in his hair gently.

You give him some time to think about his decision to become a vampire.

“No nevermind. I don't want to be stuck like that for an eternity.” He says as he gently holds your hands.

“That's what I thought,” You say kissing him on the cheek.

You both fall asleep in your white sheets. You're both cuddling in the clean white sheets.

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upsidedownmvnson · 2 years ago

Text

eddie stares in the mirror at the scars that mark his body.

he knows it’s not his fault. and he knows there’s nothing he can really do about it, so he shouldnt dwell on things that are out of his control. he knows his scars make him unique, and that you find him just as attractive as you did before…

but even knowing all that, he stares at the marks on his skin and he hates them.

it’s a constant reminder. kids stare at him at the pool, some people ask about it when they catch a glimpse when his shirt rides up, and when you run your fingers over them… he feels like a monster.

he wishes they would go away. and then he wishes he could just love himself again.

when you enter the room you’re immediately aware of eddie’s feelings. you cant read his mind, but you can tell he’s upset by the look on his face. this isnt the first time youd caught him looking in the mirror, tearing apart what he sees.

“what can i do?” you ask, desperate for anything that could help him with his self image. of course you thought he was beautiful, but you wanted him to feel the same. the way he used to…

but he didn’t have an answer for you. he just put on a shirt, kissed you on the forehead, and left the room.

you had to do something, you couldnt watch eddie suffer anymore. it was breaking your heart as well. you knew what to try.

for the next week you did odd jobs around town. you mowed an elderly neighbours yard, watched a single mother’s daughter for a few afternoons, and helped steve harrington drive the party to and from the beach safely. you charged him an extra ten just because robin wasn’t going to be there lol

and then when you had a nice squirrel fund, you presented it to eddie’s tattoo artist buddy, a deposit to book an appointment for a few months down the line. you wanted to give eddie lots of time to design a new tattoo.

when you presented him the appointment card, and the rest of the money, you hadn’t expected eddie to burst out in tears

he couldnt help himself. eddie couldnt help but weep and hold you close because he just had no fucking idea how to express how grateful he was. he wanted to get a new tattoo so bad but didnt want to waste money on it, not with the new trailer payments and the… it doesnt matter. because youd taken care of it.

youd taken care of him,

and he would never ever forget it. he would spend the rest of his life trying to make you feel as loved and as seen as you just made him feel <3

#im balling thats why theres typos #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things s4 #stranger things fiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagines #eddie musnon x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson comfort #ptsd!eddiemunson #eddie munson blurb

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spacexseven · 2 years ago

Note

Trying to find the post I originally saw it from would take too long and plus the person who made it didn't go into detail they just said "reader with a God ability" like I'm guessing an ability that makes you God or something? I'm not too sure but if you want you can try to make it into something

But I REALLY wanted to know how would Fyodor would react because you know the story with him and god

basically reader is a kind of (forgotten) god but i didnt go too much into it so feel free to imagine whatever you'd like ^^

cw: yandere character

sometimes it occurred to you that divinity, in a world of gifted people, was ultimately meaningless. after all, who would choose to believe in a god—a presence so unclear and foreign—when they had people with powers only gods could have? when there were people with powers that defied logic, powers that decimated cities, and powers that could change the fate of the one affected within moments, what did your divinity matter?

what could you do that some ability user out there couldn't?

despite knowing there wasn't anything you could offer to regular people, you liked to walk down their streets and watch them go on about their day. there was something captivating about their lives, something that resembled what you had lost a long time ago. though in this bleak part of yokohama, most of the people you saw seemed to be weighed down by regret.

once in a while, you'd see some spectacular show of power—paper turning into a weapon, accidental deaths that you knew were not supposed to happen, people on the brink of death brought back to life in perfect health—such things did not amaze you as much as they worried you. maybe that worry came from a place of inadequacy, knowing that your own powers, while typical for a divine being, was overall unimpressive compared to these wonderful and terrifying feats.

however, the worry and the shame did not compare to the delight that followed when talking to someone. you felt alone, isolated by the things you knew and had seen as compared to the mundane lives most people lived, yet you yearned for company. most people were too busy to talk to you when they saw you seated alone, and some were put off by the strange feeling that something about you was not exactly human, but there was always someone who'd approach you first, and those people were almost always the ones that stuck with you the longest. years ago, it was a man wearing a hat and holding a cane, and more recently, a woman with red hair.

and now, it was this man with dark hair and amethyst eyes.

the very moment fyodor uttered his first words to you, you could already tell that he was unlike anyone else you had talked to before. there was something about him that was simultaneously alluring and unsettling, something that glinted in his dark eyes that told you that he knew everything you were trying to hide. even the way he held your hand in his felt like he was trying to sense something from you. still, his expression did not change—calmness evident in his face when yours was definitely teeming with intrigue. it should have embarrassed you that a human was better than you at controlling his emotions.

but there was something unusual about fyodor—the way he carried himself, the contrast between his sharp gaze and sleepy smile, the words he spoke—you could already tell that he was someone destined for great destruction. (or maybe, he was destined to be the harbinger of destruction?) he spoke to you like you were an old friend, someone he had known all his life, not finding any unease in slipping into deep conversation. his voice was soft, but each word felt purposeful.

and then, he mentioned his belief in god.

"what does a god matter," you finally asked the question that had been plaguing you for all this time, "in a world of people that are treated as gods?"

he smiled at you then, like he had been expecting it, "that is simply a result of the follies of man. isn't it disgraceful that they think of themselves as gods?"

"but what can a god do for you that some ability user out there can't?"

"what i sought, what i received, was guidance," he whispered, "my eyes were opened to the truth, and i realized my purpose. ability users parade themselves as gifted, special, but they only bring misfortune."

your heart wavered then, for the man in front of you. you never believed that ability users were blessed, or whatever some groups liked to say. in some cases, it appeared to be more of a curse than a blessing. something unwanted. was he haunted by himself as well? before you could stop yourself, your next words leaped out of your mouth, revealing your identity and subsequently confirming his suspicions.

"if so, what does that make you?"

he smiled then, wider than before. the very sight sent chills down your spine, even though very little still scared you now. he straightened up, clasping your hands within his with a newly gained fervor, with more strength than he appeared to have.

"a sinner seeking repentance from you."

you exhaled sharply, but he wasn't finished, "i know now for sure that this is the right path, and under your guidance, i will deliver your judgment, and i will reinstate you to your former glory."

danger was easy to miss when it looked like fyodor dostoevsky, and it was too late for you now. realization dawned on you a moment too late, as tendrils of consciousness slipped away from you.

among the ghosts of yokohama, fyodor was the harbinger of great destruction. and his reign of terror would start with yours.

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corpseconvulsive · 4 months ago

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Hi! My name is August and im here to address the rumors of Toby/Plague, a cosplayer and content creator being a groomer and other accusations made within the last few days

You may recognize my name from other posts made regarding myself and other rumors including the rumor that i am one of the people Toby is grooming, which is devastating in my eyes because never once has Toby acted in a predatory way towards me, he is truly one of the coolest dudes ever.

Why did this rumor start? Its because of one screenshot where i am describing that i am cold and toby makes a joke saying he will “wrap his feet around me” which was obviously a joke, wrapping your whole ass feet around someone is not even humanly possible?

I fully consent to the sexual and darker jokes and fully enjoy them as we use in private in our servers for just ourselves and friends watering our humor down in the Blood of Salvation server, Toby always makes sure to respect a boundary if it is brought to his attention, still TO THIS DAY i am asked at least twice a month sometimes even three times if my boundaries have changed, the only one being to not make fun of me for my weight as it makes me incredibly insecure, Toby has never broken that boundary. If people had an issue with our humor, we have always communicated in the server that they can message a moderator to discuss any issues, no one ever messaged us saying they felt uncomfortable.

I can address that our humor is quite sexual and dark to begin with, however if toby is not personally friends, he controls his humor ESPECIALLY around minors, there have been many occasions where Toby has mentioned he is kind of sick of minors joining the server just because they simp and suck up to him and how gross he feels when people act like that just because the find him hot.

Majority of the jokes made were in a chat where only the moderators and admins can talk which you can choose if you want the channel to be visible or not, all moderators who are close friends talk here, we didnt say many of the screenshots shown to random members although we should have been more careful with what we say as some people are incredibly young.

Also the way this was handled was horrendous, Seirei has a large platform that i stopped following a few months ago, her content was great in my eyes and i completely idolized her because she seemed really cool, however things like calling ticci toby an abuser and other drama that arised has caused me to stop following her. She should have handled it like an adult and talked to everyone mentioned to get both sides as some people involved are minors which is so dangerous seeing how people are being doxxed now, some involved are as young as 14. Seirei’s posts are in my eyes, the reason this stupid situation has gotten to the point people have begun doxxing Toby and others, this in my eyes, is terrible, even for the ones making up these rumors and statements that are being doxed as well. I have no respect for those making up these things about my friend, however i think everyone deserves the right to feel safe in there own home without worrying about there information being leaked and something happening to them.

I have messaged Seirei who said to message her if you have more information or input as it says on her tiktok, explaining that Toby is indeed not a fucking creep towards me, is definetly not grooming me as I know the signs I have been groomed twice in my life for long periods of time such as 2-3 years starting before i was even a teenager, and about screenshots and things said about me in general regarding an old situationship. Seirei has not acknowledged my message along with another friend who has messaged her for a simple question.

Regarding the things with my ex situationship, i do not know why it is being brought up as it was irrelevant to this however all i will say is yes i sent her nudes however she did happen to start sending them first and it was a common thing for us to act sexual with one another, also one of the people who happens to be making accusations about Toby has told me i must not have sexual trauma if i sent nudes to her when I admitted i was a victim of sa and grooming which is a horrible thing to say to any victim to disregard what happened to them, it is not right and vile to do that to any victim no matter what abuse they have trauma and scars from, especially when some have developed hypersexuality from the trauma such as myself.

I would also like to discuss how these people accusing toby are hypocritical as well, they act like they have not done similar things while they have.

Robin, someone who started this mainly from what i know, loves to simp and support Jimmy Urine, who if you dont know who that is, he is a giant pedophile and was the singer of MSI(Mindless Self Indulgence). He has been charged with sexual battery against minors and they fully support this man and call him hot and basically drool all over him.

Virus is a person Toby used to be friends with before i came into the picture, a minor who said sexual shit and has wrote multiple in depth paragraphs about wanting to do sexual things with Toby as a minor before Toby finally kicked him from the server and blocked him entirely due to the shit he was saying. When i became friends with Toby I had heard stories about Virus as the server was still below 100 members(believe i was the 96th member after i messaged Toby asking if he had a server since his discord was on his IG) so the server was a close tight knit group with the moderators and there friends before it was opened for the public. After making it public Virus made MULTIPLE TikTok accounts and Discord accounts to join the server after being banned for his weird actions, how do we know? Because this dude kept posting art in his style, I was one of the people who analyzed the art as I am an artist myself, the eyes, nose, face shape, style, is all the same. He even presented us with a fake tiktok account, it was him in a red curly wig, same background as his other tiktoks. He is obsessed and seems to come back at least once every month or two.

Many others have made r34 of characters which is gross, like i mentioned before told me i couldnt have been sa’d and groomed if i sent nudes, someone tried accusing me that i was an adult talking to my situationship who is a minor despite the fact that my ex situationship was older than me, accused Toby of asking a minor to show him their tits as a joke meanwhile the “minor” i question is our friend Kat who is 23 so definetly a minor, people have called moderators who do there job mean, saying its wrong that we “shit talk” members meanwhile we only “shit talk” members if youre being stupid and we think its a possibility youll break the rules and start shit meanwhile these people accusing toby have servers and gcs on discord made for the purpose of shitting on Toby, myself, and other members of the staff in the crp server, and a bunch of other stuff.

As you can see, the list goes on with how hypocritical these people are, using things out of context to try and get the point across when all they are doing is lying to paint Toby in a bad light, its disgusting how they accuse Toby of being a groomer when this is who happens to be accusing him. Again to the rumor Toby is grooming me, i can fully state that no he is not grooming me, he has never acted romantically in any shape or form with me, he has never acted predatory towards me or any others, I mean if I dont text him, my dms are drier than the sahara desert with that man, hes not one to text first so sometimes i go a day or two without actually speaking to him. I know the signs of being a groomer from experience and research, Toby is not grooming myself or any others and its bullshit that people are accusing him based on messages taken out of context.

Thank you for reading🖤🖤❤️❤️

#creepypasta #seirei #drama #toby #crp #crp fandom

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radiojamming · 17 days ago

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hi there! your aristeia of diomedes sounds super interesting!! can you tell us more about the project - from reading between the lines, i think it's a video game? also this is a random question but i love finding blogs i didnt realise were run by classicists - did you study ancient history at uni perchance? <3

Howdy! Thank you so much! This project's gone from being a test game to kind of being my creative baby, so I'm always super hype to talk about it!

The Aristeia of Diomedes is a text-based game made with Twine that essentially tells the whole story of Diomedes' life from his birth to his questionable end (did he die? is he immortal? did he turn into a bird???) while interweaving stories of his ancestors and Argos on a whole. An aristeia, in storytelling terms, is a moment of a character's excellence; Diomedes has the longest written aristeia in the Iliad, and so I treated this game as a way of showing his whole life like one big aristeia.

Originally, I wanted to write a novel about Diomedes à la Song of Achilles, but nothing I made turned out the way I wanted. Eventually, a friend suggested using Twine. That made me think about how oral history is traditionally very interactive, and how an itinerant storyteller like Homer might have asked his audience questions, or encouraged them to speak and react. Using Twine gives a player more control over the kind of story they want to hear and encourages them to build Diomedes' story alongside the storyteller.

The game is based on numerous written sources like Homer's epics, Hesiod's writings, Pindar's poetry, and histories written by people like Apollodorus. I've also tried to weave in more Mycenaean history from archaeological record to make it a little more three-dimensional. I've taken my own artistic liberties here and there to solve some of the inconsistencies between sources and to fill in the blanks left by lost sources, but also to make this story my own. :D

I have a background in history, and I've definitely dabbled in ancient western history! My specialties are actually in maritime history, polar exploration history, and illuminated manuscripts, but I started off wanting to get into Ancient Greek and Roman history. I've done archaeological field work at a Roman dig site in Britain, so it's a veeeeery familiar world to me.

(Bonus archaeology trip pictures because yissss!)

So yes, this is a passion project of mine and I'm so happy people are interested in it! :DDD

#the aristeia of diomedes #diomedes #the iliad #i have so much to say about why diomedes is the subject in particular but that's like a huge wall of text

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