#but it's like. i'm throwing myself off a cliff upset at this

[y-eontan]

is my period coming up or what the fucki is going on im literally so fucking upset over this for no fuckinh reason

[tosotd-wwe]

McLaren Orange

*based off the song “tennessee orange” by megan moroney*

lando norris x fem!reader

warnings: fluff *first person pov*

summary: y/n was raised in a ferrari family, but a special driver in the papaya car gets her to wear the mclaren orange.

I felt as if I was going to throw up. My hand hovered over my mothers contact, shaking from the knots in my stomach. I knew I shouldn't be nervous, but knowing the way my family is I couldn't help it. Finally after convincing myself to tap the icon, my phone began to ring. The ring went on an awful long time, making me feel even more terrified.

"Hi Mama," I say into the phone once she picked up.

"Hey darling," Her sweet voice echos into my ear. How am I supposed to tell her this?

"I've got some news for you," My voice cracks.

"Is everything alright? You're not in trouble are you?" Her tone becomes serious, I could tell she had her eyebrow raised looking towards my father.

"I'm not in trouble, Mama" I laugh slightly, "But, don't tell dad about this, please."

There was silence on the other side of the phone. I knew she was debating listening to my request, but also on not. I heard her shuffle around a bit. Maybe she headed into a different room for privacy.

"I know you guys raised me to know right from wrong, and I know you're thinking I did something wrong, but don't worry everything is okay." I sigh, "It's just, I've never really felt this way. I don't know where to start."

"You can tell me anything, sweetheart." She reassures me, my heartbeat already calming down.

"I met this guy," I mentally smack my head in embarrassment.

"Oh, I was expecting something totally different." She laughs loudly.

"He's got these gorgeous blue eyes." I feel my cheeks grow warm just thinking about the way his eyes look into mine. "He even opens the door for me. I don't think he's made me cry once."

I had met Lando after the Emilia-Romagna Grand Prix. A couple of my friends and I decided to go out for the night, we needed some freedom. Just that morning we were all wearing our red gear, cheering for the Ferrari's as they raced. Lando just happened to be at the club we decided to go to. He was with a couple of his friends, hanging around the dj booth in the back. I must have felt risky that day because I walked up to him, congratulating him on his race. Yes, I congratulated the enemy. We ended up talking a little longer. A little longer was the rest of the night.

"He's not from where we're from." I explained, "But, he feels like home somehow."

"Where's he from?" She qustions.

"The United Kingdom, Bristol actually." I tell her.

"He sounds like a very lovely guy," She compliments him. This makes my heart warm. Hopefully the rest of the story wont make her too upset.

"I've done things I've never done before with him, Mama." She could probably hear my wide smile through the phone. "He took me to this beautiful restaurant the other night. Oh, and we went cliff diving too!"

Talking about just a few of the adventures we had been on together already made my stomach burst with butterflies. Thinking back to when our hands were holding tight to each other as we jumped off the tall cliff, waiting for our fall to be caught by the blue water. When he gave me his jacket after our dinner because it was raining.

"There is one thing though," I hesitate.

"What is it?"

"Mama, he's a driver." I try to lead up to the fact that he's a big racing star, but not for our big team.

"He's a driver? Like a racer?" Her voice fills with excitement. "Are you dating Charles Leclerc?"

"No Mama, not him." I laugh, "He's not on Ferrari."

Yet again there was a silence on the other end of the phone.

"Mama, he drives for McLaren." I whisper, a weight being lifted off my shoulders as I did so. "Lando Norris."

I heard the door open from the phone, she was walking up to my father.

"He took me to Spain with him, that's why I was gone for a little while. He gave me the hat he had sitting on his dash when we got to the airport." I try to distract her from telling any information to my father. As long as he's a good guy why should it matter? "Mama, can you forgive me? Don't tell dad, please. I like him a lot."

"Honey, I'm not mad at you. I can't change the fact you like this boy. As long as he doesn't make you forget you look better in red." She sighs, the phone now on speaker mode.

"I don't know, his smile makes me forget sometimes." I fiddle with the rings on my finger.

"Hi daddy," I say quietly, knowing hes listening into the conversation. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it."

"Your mother and I are so happy for you, Y/n. I could never be mad at you for chasing your heart."

"I still am rooting for Ferrari, don't worry." I laugh, feeling relieved by their acceptance. "But if you every see me wearing McLaren. Just know I'm wearing the orange for him."

[fili-urzudel]

Porridge - Kíli Durin x Reader

Just a cute little winter themed drabble for our favorite little brother.

Warnings: mentions of broken bones, mentions of near-death, light crying, homesickness

Word Count: 0.6k

"Come in," the voice was muffled.

"How's my favorite—what in Aule's name," Kíli interrupted himself. Most likely because while he was expecting to find you on your bed, in your place was a very high pile of blankets, covering from the foot to the headboard.

"Shove it," the blanket pile groaned.

"What, are you hiding your shame?" Kíli chuckled, drawing closer and probing a corner of the bed before sitting down.

"No!" You exclaimed, finally throwing off the layers of blankets. "I—help me up, please," you muttered, and he obliged before you continued. "I have nothing to be ashamed of, that cliff was steep and I blame you for thinking it was a good idea to climb it—"

"When you said you adored goats, I assumed that meant you had some degree of their skill," Kíli smirked.

"—and I happen to be hiding from the cold because your mountain is bloody freezing," you finished with a dramatic pout.

"It's a mountain. In winter. Honestly, khebabmudtu, what were you expecting?" He teased, having found his way to the head of the bed and leaning his head against his hand, his elbow propped on the headboard.

He felt himself freeze when he noticed tears welling in your eyes.

"Hey," he said, voice softer. "What's wrong?"

"It's never this cold back home," you whimpered. "And no one here makes porridge the way Ma made it, and I can't make it myself because of my daft ankle, and I—I just..." you sighed, breaking off. "I miss home but I want to stay here, too."

Kíli frowned. He had seen you upset, sure, and he had seen you heartbroken—sure as Mahal when you thought he was dead—and he had more than definitely seen you angry. But he had never seen you distressed over something that even you would consider trivial.

"You mind?" he asked, already lifting the stack of the blanket corners to slide into the generous bed with you. You shook your head quickly.

"I'm not sure that it counts for much, but I understand," he said slowly. "I spent most of my life in Ered Luin, and I still feel a little homesick for it sometimes. I can't imagine what a big difference it is from the Southlands. But I'm glad you chose to stay here."

"God only knows why," you sniffled.

"Well, I was hoping for me," Kíli smiled, and you rolled your eyes. "But seriously, khebabmudtu, we all love having you here. Anything that can help make you stay, I'll do it."

You gave a grin-grimace. "Thanks, Kí," you said, and leaned into his side, much to his surprise. He was all too happy to wrap an arm around your shoulders to keep you there. "What does that word mean?"

He hesitated for a moment. "What word?"

"Khebabmudtu," you said, stumbling a bit over the consonants.

"Heart forge," he whispered, and when you looked up at him, confused, he knew he had to say it louder. "It means heart-forge. The forge where my heart is made."

"Hmm," you hummed shortly, snuggling into his ribs. "I bet you say that to all your lady friends."

He wanted to laugh. He couldn't believe you still didn't believe that he was the ugly brother. "No," he replied simply instead. "Just you."

Just you.

You liked the sound of that.

[allmoshnobrain]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 32 of 35 | masterpost

word count: 3841 | ao3 link | fic's playlist

I halted in front of the door, my heart pounding, my face all flushed, the desperation in my heart shoving aside any jitters about facing Dave again. All I craved was for him to swing that door open, and I'd throw myself into his arms, cup his face in my hands and kiss him, let him take me to bed, and everything would sort itself out because I loved him. I fucking loved him.

✦ on this chapter: NSFW!!!, dave mustaine x female!oc, james hetfield x female! oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, smut mentioned/implied

✧ Do you forgive me for all the ways that I missed you? / Did I ever not miss you? In my bones, in being myself / I could be no one else ✧

I woke up a few hours later with the sunlight peeking through the curtains, James' arms hugging me as he snored softly, his face tucked in the curve of my neck. I blinked, memories of the previous night rushing back, making my face warm and my stomach flutter with a million butterflies. Holy shit. That had really happened, right? We’d actually fucked?

I got up, nudging James' arms away, my face probably redder than a lobster. I headed to the bathroom, cranked up the shower, and hopped under the hot water, letting out a satisfied sigh as my body unwound. After the shower, as I brushed my teeth, it dawned on me that I’d forgotten to grab something to wear. Wrapped in a towel, I strolled back to the room only to find James was already awake.

“You look way hotter naked than I imagined, you know?” James grinned as he caught sight of me.

“Is that your version of 'good morning'?” I chuckled, hunting through my stuff for something to wear. He laughed, got up, and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling me to stand between his legs.

“Good morning, princess,” he murmured, planting a light kiss on my lips. “Hey, mind if I use your shower?”

“Sure thing, but you might want to snag some fresh clothes from your own room,” I suggested, and he flashed a grin.

“Why don't you crash in my room for the rest of the tour? It's way more convenient, and besides…” James pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist before whispering in my ear, “We could have a rerun of last night as many times as we want, right?”

I hesitated, taking a step back. James frowned, seeming intrigued by my reaction.

“What's wrong?” he asked. “Am I that bad in bed?”

“Of course not!” I replied, maybe a bit too hastily, which earned a soft chuckle from him.

“What's bothering you, then?” he asked, gently holding my chin. I let out a sigh and glanced off. 

“You might get upset.”

“Nah, I won't. You know you can tell me anything,” he drew me close again, and I placed my hands on his shoulders, my face warming up with how close we were. “What's going on?”

“It's just…” I sighed, a lump of pain forming in my throat. “James, Dave dumped me, thinking I cheated on him with you. It's messed up. And I... I really liked sleeping with you. A lot, seriously. But I can't help feeling bad…” I blinked, battling against the tears that were pushing through. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything; I'm screwing everything up…”

“No. You're not,” James whispered, gently rubbing my back with one hand. “You gotta quit thinking that. You're not screwing anything up.”

“It's all my fault, James,” I mumbled, my voice shaky as a couple of tears slipped out, making their way down my face. “I messed things up, and I couldn't even go after him to set things right 'cause I was scared. It's all my fucking fault.”

“Hey. Get over here,” he pulled me in closer, giving me a tight hug, and I sniffled, wiping my eyes with one hand while he gently rubbed my back. “You didn't mess up, Nore. You haven't wrecked anything, okay? I broke up with Pat 'cause I wanted to. And Dave... If you want, I can help you with that.”

“How so?” I asked, my voice shaky. He pulled back, looking at me, his blue eyes dead serious.

“If you're up for it, we can track him down when we're back. I'll help you explain the whole story. And if you wanna patch things up with him…” he paused, taking a deep breath like the thought pained him. “Nore, I'd rather fucking die than see you sad like this, even if it’s because you can't be with him.”

“James…” I whispered, my heart pounding at his words. Would he seriously go that far for me? Was he really willing to help me set things straight with Dave, even if it meant he might lose me in the process? Did he truly love me that much?

“It's just that, right now, there's a whole ocean between him and us,” James murmured, his lips edging closer to mine. “You can be my girl while we're here... And when we roll back, we'll figure out what's what.”

I let out a sigh as he kissed me, his hands eagerly roaming over my body until he unraveled the towel wrapped around me. One of his hands gripped my butt tight, while the other ventured to my breast, moving in slow circles, his thumb slowly teasing my nipple. I let out a soft moan as his lips traced my neck, a pleasant warmth spreading between my legs.

“I just got out of the shower,” I whispered, and he let out a soft chuckle.

“So what? We can hop in together later. I was thinking about fucking you in there too, anyway.”

“Quit it, James,” I moaned, my protest weakened by the evident longing in my voice.

He laughed and then yanked me onto the bed, positioning my knees around his hips. I tangled my fingers in his hair, his lips leisurely exploring mine, and moaned when he pulled my hips down, slowly sliding into me as I settled on his lap.

The morning was wrapping up when we finally strolled into the hotel's restaurant, spotting the rest of the band and Leanne, chitchatting as they polished off breakfast.

“Go snag a seat; I'll grab the food,” James suggested, tugging me in by the waist before whispering in my ear: “You've gotta be tired after riding me so good just now, huh?”

“Oh my God... James!” I griped, shoving him off as I felt my face getting all warm. He burst into laughter, heading for the buffet, and I rolled my eyes before joining the gang at the table. “Hey,” I greeted everyone as I took a seat, arching my eyebrows and furrowing my forehead when I got zero response. I blushed when I noticed all eyes on me — Kirk and Leanne with expectation in their eyes, Cliff throwing some side-eye, torn between suspicion and curiosity, and Lars barely containing his laughter. “Alright, spill it. What's the deal?”

“You telling us what happened?” Kirk chimed in, a big grin spreading across his face. I furrowed my brow.

“Nothing happened. What are you guys talking about?”

“Just that Pat went nuclear 'cause you and James disappeared together yesterday. Now she's MIA, and you two stroll in all cozy for breakfast like this?” Lars said, grinning like a goof too. ”So... what's the story?”

“Pat and James called it quits. She hightailed it back home,” I admitted, figuring there was no point in keeping it under wraps — everyone would catch on sooner or later.

“And you’re seriously gonna let us suffer in suspense? Spill the details!” Lea demanded, and I let out a groan.

James rolled back with two plates, plopping one in front of me before settling down and digging in. He took a few seconds, maybe longer, to catch onto everyone's eager stares at us.

“What?” he asked, his mouth full.

“What we're dying to know is if you two fucked or n…”.

“Lars!” I cut in, my face heating up. James nearly choked on his food, going red in the face too. I averted my gaze, refusing to make eye contact, running a hand over my face.

“Oh my God. You guys totally did it, didn’t you?” Lars continued, now definitely cracking up. We stayed silent, but that seemed to be all the confirmation he needed. He leaped to his feet. “I called it!” he pointed triumphantly at Kirk and Leanne. “Pay up, you owe me ten bucks.”

“You guys placed bets on this?” I exclaimed, offended, getting up. “Cliff!” I turned to Cliff, hoping for some support in conveying how ridiculous this was, but he just shrugged.

“I have nothing to do with this.”

“What were you betting on?” James inquired, still a bit flushed but not nearly as bothered as I was. I stared at him, incredulous.

“I bet that you and Pat would split, and you'd turn to Nore for comfort, inevitably leading to... you know. Kirk bet on a threesome with you, Pat, and Nore…” I shot Kirk a wide-eyed look, and he grinned at me like it was just a casual proposition. “Lea bet that you would only sort things out come morning.”

“And you all think it's cool to start placing bets on my love life?” I demanded, annoyed.

“We're just stoked that you and James finally got your act together, Nore. It was about time.” Leanne chimed in with a grin.

“I fucking called it! I knew this day would come ever since I spotted you two making out on the bus.” Lars declared, victorious. I turned to him, eyes wide, and James tensed beside me.

“What do you mean you saw it?” I asked, while James exclaimed:

“Seriously, Lars? I thought you were knocked out!”

“Wait a sec. What do you mean they were making out on the bus?” Kirk inquired.

“You didn't tell us any of this! It's not cool to bet when you're holding back intel,” Leanne griped.

“I genuinely thought you were knocked out,” James reiterated, sounding incredulous. Lars chuckled.

“Well, in case you're not familiar with the idea, it's called pretending…”

“Shut it, you goofballs,” Cliff grumbled. “Everyone's eyeballing us.”

I huffed but settled back in the chair to eat, allowing James to wrap an arm around my shoulders.

“So, are you two together now or what?” Lars prodded, and I rolled my eyes.

“Fuck off, Lars.”

“Are you or not?”

“It's none of your fucking business,” James muttered. “Just zip it.”

I glanced at James and couldn't help but smile when our eyes connected. We carried on with our meal, and to my relief, the others shifted gears, chatting more about the shows and the trip rather than dissecting James and me. I sighed, a sudden realization hitting me that the hollowness that had lingered for the past few weeks had lightened in my chest. For the first time in weeks, I felt almost complete, even with Dave not being there. For a fleeting moment, I almost allowed myself not to feel sad.

But then, James inadvertently brushed against the small blue stone on the bracelet that used to be Dave’s birthday gift, and in an instant, everything about Dave flooded back into my mind; his scent, his smile, the way he used to hold me. The way his lips always found the perfect spot against mine, and how he held me as if I would break with too much force. His voice, his hands, his strong arms around me, everything, everything about him.

I needed to find him again. I needed to explain everything; I needed him to understand that I loved him and had never stopped loving him, not even for a second. The idea of finding him frightened me, but the thought of never crossing paths with him again scared me even more. I needed to make things right.

Then, James' request echoed in my mind, and I let out a sigh. For now, I would let myself revel in the burst of happiness I'd stumbled upon in his embrace. I could make decisions later. I could figure out what I was really feeling. But for now, I could let myself forget that ache.

I could let myself be happy.

The rest of the tour flew by; now that James and I had sorted out our issues, the days felt lighter, and I started to feel a bit happy again. Of course, the fact that James couldn't keep his hands off me played a big part in that; we were always together, grabbing every chance we got to sneak away and get lost in each other's touch.

Before we knew it, it was time to head back home. Saying goodbye to James hit me way harder than I thought it would; I’d let myself love him fully in these past few days, no holds barred, but that didn't lessen how much I craved him one bit. If anything, with each passing day, I just wanted him more.

Nevertheless, I got back from the trip dead sure about one thing: I needed to patch things up with Dave. I had to lay it all out for him, spill every detail, even if it meant he might not want to hear it or worse, end up hating me. If my screw-up was keeping stuff under wraps to avoid hurting him, I was damn sure I wouldn't make that mistake again. Not if it meant risking losing someone I loved.

“You sure you don't want me to go with you?” James asked, cupping my face with one hand while the other hung onto my waist. We were saying goodbye at Los Angeles airport before he jetted back to San Francisco and I headed to Long Beach, but not for long; I had plans to swing back to LA the next weekend to have a chat with Dave and, well, Pat too. Figured some apologies were in order.

“I am. I swear I'll be fine,” I breathed, tiptoeing to plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth. He grinned, pulling me into a tight hug, and I let out a soft chuckle.

“You're so damn brave,” he whispered, making my heart rush. “I'll miss you, you know?”

“We'll catch up soon,” I replied, stepping back and resting my hands on his chest. He smiled, a touch of melancholy in his eyes.

“Yeah, but it won't be the same, will it?” he murmured, and I sighed, furrowing my brow a bit.

I had been dodging the thought, but James had a point: one way or another, I planned to sort things out with Dave this weekend. I was damn sure that meeting him again wouldn't be calm or easy, not when the ache for him was like a stormy sea in my chest.

Yet, I couldn't shake off how tight James and I had gotten in these last few days, how I’d let myself fall even more for him. I was torn, clueless about what to do. All I could wish for was that sorting things out with Dave about all that had happened in the past few months would clear up this emotional mess, help me make sense of it all.

"I gotta do this, Jamie," I murmured, cupping his face in my hands. He smiled, resigned, laying his hands on top of mine.

"I get it. How 'bout one last kiss? You know, for good luck." he suggested, and I couldn't help but chuckle, throwing my arms around his neck as I let him plant a sweet kiss on my lips.

The weekend rolled in quicker than I expected, shooting my anxiety through the roof. No matter how many times I'd rehearsed the speech and played out the scenarios in my head about facing Dave, when the moment finally arrived, I was way more jittery than I bargained for.

I hit up Pat's place first, thinking it might be a smoother conversation. Nervously, I rang the doorbell, sighing in anticipation. After a few minutes, the door swung open, revealing Pat.

I started to say hi, but she shut the door right in my face as soon as she laid eyes on me.

"Pat, come on!" I blurted, banging on the door. I hammered the doorbell — once, twice, three times — until she begrudgingly swung it open.

"What do you want?" she snarled. I raised my eyebrows, taken aback by her hostility.

"I want to talk to you."

"I have nothing to talk to you about. Go away."

"Yeah, I don’t think so. We need to talk," I lit a cigarette and offered her the pack. "Want one?" She stayed silent, and I sighed, shoving the cigarette box back into my jacket pocket. "Pat, look... I know things got kinda..."

“Spare me your apologies," She cut me off. "I don't want to hear it. It's too easy for you to roll up here and apologize after swiping my boyfriend from me. I don't get why you even bothered introducing him to me. You think I didn't know you two were cozying up while you were still with Dave?”

I opened my mouth, floored.

“Pat, I didn't... That's not true.”

“No? Then why were you so bent out of shape that day at Mike's house when you caught James kissing me?" She inched closer, and I instinctively took a step back, my stomach doing somersaults and my face turning beet red when I realized she'd noticed how upset I got. Sure, I was a bit inebriated and stoned that day, but I genuinely believed Pat hadn't seen how messed up I felt seeing her with James.  "If you and James weren't a thing, why did Dave kick you to the curb after I told him about you two?”

My whole world felt like it hit pause when she dropped that bomb. How could she have told Dave about James and me? Flashbacks of that day zipped through my brain like lightning; I didn't clue Dave in on my trip to snag my jacket from Mike's place, not because I was hiding stuff from him, but because I knew he wasn’t comfortable with anything related to Metallica, and I figured it'd be a quick in-and-out mission – grab the jacket and jet.

Yet somehow, for some wild reason, he’d tailed me. For months, I'd been scratching my head, wondering how Dave had known I'd be at Mike's place, how he was dead sure James and would be together behind his back, but that explanation couldn't be real. It just didn't make sense.

“You did... what?” I murmured, my voice shaky as my stomach did somersaults. The cigarette I had in my hand slipped through my fingers, thudding on the floor as my hands started to shake like crazy. “Pat, what the fuck did you do?”

“I told him everything, ” she smirked, clearly pleased with how her words threw me off, messing with my breathing in a cocktail of anger and despair. “James kept swearing you two weren't a thing, but I wasn't buying it. Did you really think I didn't notice the way he looked at you? Like, did you honestly believe I'd let you wreck everything? I figured if Dave knew, you'd have a fight, and he'd talk you out of hanging with James. I just didn't expect him to actually catch you two in the act and call it quits with you,” she came closer, giving me a little shove, and I balled my hands into fists. “But just when I figured you'd quit bugging me and James, they invited you on that damn tour. And guess what? I was right. You were together after all, weren’t you? You should've seen Dave's face when I got back from Europe and told him all about what went down back there.”

“You're a fucking bitch, ” I snapped, shaking with fury and barely holding back from taking a swing at her on the spot. “You really think this is cool? Spreading a load of bullshit about us? You don’t know shit about me and James. I’m lucky I showed up here and found out about all this, 'cause now he's for sure never gonna want to see you again.”

She took a step back, a glint of hurt flickering in her eyes for a split second before it got replaced by coldness, a mocking grin playing on her lips.

"What's that saying again? An eye for an eye?" she said, tilting her head back slightly and giving me a narrowed-eye look. "Dave won't want anything to do with you either, Nore. Not after his ex-best friend and his girlfriend double-crossed him like this. Do you think I give a damn if it's true or not? You snagged the guy I like, so I snagged the guy you love."

I took another step back. How could she just say that so casually, like it was no big deal? Like wrecking my relationship with Dave didn't matter, like hurting him and breaking both our hearts meant nothing? I felt my heart squeeze, my breath hitching as I grasped the full impact of it all; how Dave must've believed I’d genuinely stabbed him in the back, how bumping into James at Mike's place, alone with me, would have only fueled his suspicions.

And what was Pat blabbing about again? You should've seen Dave's face when I got back from Europe and told him all about what went down back there. What twisted version of the truth had Pat fed him before I had a chance to spill my own guts, to lay out my feelings, to let him know how much I've been hurting without him, how much I've been missing him? Did he really think I'd been cozying up with James since our split, not giving a damn about how he felt? Did he genuinely believe I'd ditch him like that?

I couldn't stick around there for one more second. I had to track down Dave immediately. I needed to tell him the truth, no twists, no fibs, no chitchat. I needed him to understand that I loved him. That yeah, I had feelings for James too, but I loved him ; that I had loved him first, that we could patch things up if we gave it a shot. That I needed him. That I didn't want to live without him.

I spun around without a backward glance, hustling to my motorcycle and firing it up. I zoomed through the streets of Los Angeles, maybe pushing the speed limit a bit until I hit the low-rise building where Dave and I used to live. I barged into the building like a tornado, sprinting up the stairs until I hit our old apartment’s floor. I halted in front of the door, my heart pounding, my face all flushed, the desperation in my heart shoving aside any jitters about facing Dave again. All I craved was for him to swing that door open, and I'd throw myself into his arms, cup his face in my hands and kiss him, let him take me to bed, and everything would sort itself out because I loved him. I fucking loved him.

But that dream didn't pan out; when I knocked on the door, I noticed it was already unlocked, exposing a totally vacant apartment. I barged in, frantic, scouring every room as if he might still be there, but he wasn't. He just wasn't there, and the realization hit me like a tidal wave, tears streaming down my face uncontrollably. He wasn't there, and I had no clue how to find him.

I had lost him.

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

✦ a/n: decided to put this note at the end so you guys wouldn't get spoilers for this part. I'm sorry for the heartbreaking twist (again) lol I promised Dave would be back and he will, but it'll take just a bit longer! Also, the epilogue is getting a little bigger than I expected, because I don't want to leave any plot points unanswered or rushed, so I will split it into a few parts (it won't be too many! it's all for the sake of the story and so we can get more Dave and James moments with Nore I promise lol)

tag list: @killazilla777 @whatsupvic @70srogah @genswine9

[fixfoxnox]

I FINALLY GOT MY GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS ON SOAP'S JOURNAL!!!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, guys there is so much in this bad boy that NO ONE has mentioned!! The SoapRoach content in here is off the walls!! Why is all I ever see the like 2 moments Soap mentioned Ghost??? There so much Roach and Price and Gaz content here, so here are some random bits from Soap's journal:

MW:

Embarrassed that Price helped him up and caught him from the plane during Crew Expendable mission

Mentions needing to buy Price "a bottle" as a gift afterward

Upset he missed the first shot on the helicopter during Hunted, says it was "inexcusable, especially considering SAM'S shoot themselves"

Put into the infirmary by a dog bite, too embarrassed to tell Gaz or Price (only Nikolai knows)

Call's Price's mustache both a "dick-tickler" and "Price's precious whiskers"

Blames himself for Gaz, Griggs, and Price's deaths (he believes Price died on the high way) and tries to come up with other ways they could have moved through that would have let the men live

Get's stuck/angry over the image of Zhakaev's blood mixing with Gaz's on the bridge

Nik brought women to see him while he was recovering in Russia

Begins mentioning his struggles with pain killers like morphine and alcohol

He becomes almost obsessive with cleaning and caring for Price's pistol as a way to distract himself from becoming addicted

Tries horse racing and betting to cope, but eventually turns to smoking

MW2:

Soap is the one who sought out the formation of TF141, Shepherd merely backed the idea

Describes Roach as "Raw, skilled, loyal to a fault" (implied he and Ghost are absolutes for the team)

On the other end, Ghost gets a simple "what the hell kind of name is Ghost" and no other information akdndjdhjdhd

Roach has the highest score on the rifle test, a whole 18 points over Ghost

Ghost beats Roach on PFT, but only by 3 points

"Have been looking forward to breaking Roach in" during Kazakhstan

"Feel even more comfortable with him than Price must have with me" omg

Roach has a journal that Soap spots him writing in, he wonders what he's writing

Adds to the end wondering if Roach is "wondering what villa claras taste like" which is clearly a reference to Soap's own admiration of Price and wondering if Roach feels the same as that, but boy oh boy Soap was that a gay way to put it ajdjfjdbhd

Makarov weighs 184 pounds and is 5'11 I'm wheezing what a little wet rat of a man I love him

Mentions the death of Meat, so far one of the only deaths he hasn't blamed himself for

Mentions needing to trust Roach and his instinct more, essentially tells himself to cool it with the constant reminders and stuff

Plans to put Roach on circuits and crossfit because he wasn't fast enough lmao

Says he would have crashed the plane before leaving Roach on the rooftops in Brazil 🥺

Blames himself for Roach almost not making the jump to the plane

Says that Ghost "knows something about interrogation"

Mentions that the team didn't bat an eye to him torturing Rojas for information, Soap draws a comparison between himself torturing Rojas to Price torturing Al Asad.

He specifically has Roach handle the C4 after seeing how well he did with it during Kazakhstan

"Ghost hacked at a snails pace" LMAO REAL

"Funny thing watching Roach get taken down by Price" listen sir, give your boyfriend a break please

Very excited and cathartic for him to give Price his pistol back

Says that Price returning and taking over command was the "best demotion imaginable" 🥺

Was just happy following Price and Roach because he "got to listen to the two of them working together like we once did"

Says it was nice to see Price taking Roach under his wing

"For all that coaching, Roach did a shit job with the bodies" listen here sir...thats not a mechanic in the game give the boy a break akdndjjdhd

Knew that Price was up to some bullshit as soon as his comms went off

Kill shepherd: "For Ghost. Roach" 😭 throwing myself from a cliff

"Loyalty doesn't operate on a sliding scale. It's a safety. On or off."

MW3:

Nikolai and Yuri go way back, potentially from Nik's time as an ultranationalist?

Nik rescuing Soap again and Soap saying he owes him a pallet of Imperia for it akdjjdjd

"Knife would healing too slowly for tastes" baby....

Nikolai providing him with antibiotics and pain medication 😬 Soap describes them as "providing inspiration" which does not sound good

Mentions how the ultranationalists have become more violent then they were under Zhakaev

Soap lost friends during the terrorist attack in London

Final thoughts:

Omg my husband

He struggles a lot a lot with guilt from very early on

Put a shit ton of pressure on himself and blames himself for anything that goes wrong. Especially blames himself for the deaths of other characters.

Seems to have had a struggle/struggles with coping with that guilt. It appears to have manifested a bit in struggles with pain killers and alcohol that he manages through almost compulsively taking care of Price's pistol.

Attempts to cope through horse racing (and gambling?) But what ends up working is smoking.

Definitely had a lot of care for his team, particularly Roach seemed to get a lot of his attention.

Much closer to Nikolai then I think people realize. Nik saves his life numerous times and the two work together even with Price not around. Definitely helps to fill in some gaps on why Nik sticks around at the end of mw2

Looks up to Price so very much. Like stars in his eyes this man can do no wrong type of thing.

[writingpei]

wicked games (l.m.) - chapter twelve

previous chapter series masterlist next chapter

pairing: lee minho x reader genre: academic rivals to lovers wc: 2.5k words

i'm looking through you

when you're rich and influential, you learn to live a life where everything always goes your way, and minho knew that from a very young age. that's why he didn't worry so much about dropping out of the student president contest, because he knew his father would do anything to put him back in the place he wanted.

when minho was alerted that there was a new rule in place that made the second most voted candidate vice president of the student council, he knew his father had rushed to make up for his action, but minho wasn't really complaining about it.

he would have more time to annoy y/n now anyway.

in fact, he had time right now! skipping through the halls as soon as the bell rang, excitement palpable in his body as he worried to find her in the middle of the sea of ​​students to break the news and see that hateful expression she always got when he said something she didn't wanted to hear.

however, something changed inside him as soon as he saw her walking away, her back turned to him as she escaped his presence, leaving him for the other boy. what seemed to bubbling in minho's stomach the most was that she didn't seem at all bothered by hyunjin's presence, but not that he would admit that her lack of attention genuinely got to him that much.

so when he walked into the school, he tried to put his thoughts that were flying back and forth in his head in place and understand why his fists were clenched tightly, and his feet were tapping against the hallway floor.

yongbok, however, understood the reason as soon as minho sat next to him on the bench in the middle of the garden.

"what happened?" yongbok asks his friend who had his eyes glued to the ground, a permanent frown staining his features, but already knowing exactly what it was about.

“she left me talking by myself!” he explodes, throwing his arms to the side to show his displeasure. “she didn’t even want to hear me because he was telling her to go with hm. do you believe in such a thing?”

“why are you so upset?” yongbok was a passive spectator to the push and pull that is the relationship between the two, but as the years passed and minho's ignorance only grew, he opted for a different approach: he would drop hints, little shocks to try to open his eyes so that he could understand for himself what he really thought about her and why he cared so much. “why does it matter so much to you?”

“because…” he paused for a few seconds and crossed his arms in a tantrum. “because she didn't pay attention to what i was saying, and i hate when people don't pay attention to me” his gaze went up to look at his friend for the first time since he sat down, and yongbok's knowing look took away some of his stability . “it's not just about her, actually it's not about her at all. i just don't like to be ignored"

if there was one thing yongbok knew about minho it was that - surprisingly - he wasn't stupid. but if there was one thing he knew about minho more than anyone else, it was his ability to manipulate himself. yongbok knew that was what he did to protect himself, to keep his walls structured, and mainly to keep himself sane. minho was always on edge, one step forward and he fell off the cliff. if his pulsating pride had blocked any idea of ​​realizing the love he felt for the girl, maybe it was for the best.

if he was already crazy about her without knowing it, one could only imagine the damage it would be if he knew.

maybe it was for the best, but not for the peace of mind of yongbok who would have to endure this torture for decades more, and he couldn't give a shit about the well being of humanity at this point.

“i didn't say anything about her in first place” yongbok says with a little smile on his face like the ones he gives once he wins his stupid cellphone game. "are you sure it's not about her?"

"obviously! it's almost offensive that you think i'm angry about her. i'm the one who gets reactions from the other in this relationship” he retorts defensively, but his friend's smile only grows wider.

"relationship?"

minho feels a heat that goes from his neck to his ears at the playful tone that comes out of yongbok's mouth. he is never embarrassed when he sees his name in first place in the huge ranking in front of the entrance to the school, much less when he is going to talk to one of the most beautiful girls he has ever seen in his life, which is why he refuses to believe that park y/n would do it without even being around.

“ah yongbok, don't bother me. that was the way of saying it” he waves his hand for his friend to leave him alone and presses his crossed arms more tightly against his chest, as if if he pushed too hard, he would be consumed inside himself.

“you should pay me for being your psychologist for so many years” is the only answer she gets from him, in a velvety voice full of humor, indicating that his smile still hovers intact over his face. “try to find out for yourself then”

if there was one thing minho knew about himself it was that - surprisingly - he wasn't stupid. the problem is that the nights he lay awake rolling around in bed weren't enough to make him figure out what the hell yongbok wanted him to figure out on his own.

“it's not fair” he complained one morning. “you can't give me a riddle without half the clues and expect me to solve it. i know that my intelligence is gigantic, but that makes it difficult even for me”

“but you have the clues” yongbok replied, sipping his juice. “just look inside yourself for a bit”

but he had no idea.

he was fixated on the joy he felt getting the girl out of her mind, getting reactions out of her and making her heart beat faster with anger just by imagining his face.

but when he saw her with the blond boy, he was the one who felt strange, as if an anger rose from his chest to his thoughts, taking over his senses and destabilizing his calm.

it just so happened that the more he thought about these things, the less the idea that he just wanted to gain the gratification of drawing her attention to himself left his head. he was pretty sure that was it, there was no other reason for him to bond with her anyway. her personality was insufferable, she was like a fun inhibitor, her face always closed and lifeless, the books that piled up on her desk during classes weren't really an attraction for him. her stupid hair, lips that never bloomed into a genuine smile over anything but the feeling of superiority, hands that wrote delicately on paper and her floral scent that invaded his senses every time he crossed paths with her. minho hated it all.

he hated her.

but he needed to find her. too many days had passed since the day she'd turned her back on him, and he still had to rub it in her face that he'd won the vice president position.

it was lunchtime, but she wasn't in the sea of ​​people scattered around the tables. he would recognize her anywhere.

his steps however were towards the only person he, unfortunately, thought knew her whereabouts. the blond locks drew attention and it didn't take long for his confident steps to take him to the table full of jocks from the school's basketball team.

“oh, it's lee minho” he heard a whisper coming from one of them, but he just rolled his eyes and put his hands in his pocket, waiting for hyunjin to turn to him.

when the boy did, his mouth was full of food and his eyes widened in mild surprise.

“oh, hi man” he said as soon as he swallowed.

“where is y/n?” he got straight to the point. he had no desire to chat with hyunjin. he didn't know if it was his face, but something about him made him travel to that bad and inexplicable feeling he felt the last time he saw him.

“um…” he looks around the table and when he notices that very few of his friends are paying attention to the conversation, he responds very quietly as if he is telling a secret. “she wouldn’t like it if you asked me so loudly about her in the middle of so many people”

“i piss her off enough already,” minho replies, a snarky smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“oh” hyunjin replies, eyeing him warily for a few seconds. "the last time i saw her, i think she was on her way to the library, but i don't know if-"

minho immediately turns around, leaving the boy behind with a confused and slightly offended expression on his delicate face.

“i didn't even get to finish speaking…”

minho takes big steps toward the library. if she was there, it would be perfect timing, as all the students were having lunch and it would be empty.

he enters slowl into the large room that was consumed by total silence. he couldn't see anyone there, not even the librarian. he began to think she wasn't even there, but as soon as he heard the short, silent footsteps against the wooden floor coming from the bookshelves area, he slipped inside and did his best not to make a sound, walking over to where she was.

he entered a hallway of bookshelves, walking between them with enormous caution. his eyes traveled from title to title, spine to spine, fingers tentatively sliding across them.

until he sees her through a small gap between the shelves of the bookcase, on the other side.

a few books are hugged against her torso, eyes quick and hard as a hawk perusing the title of every book in front of her. she hadn't seen him yet, and minho found himself so interested in her purely natural posture that he unconsciously moves closer to the crack, wanting to get closer, wanting to understand her better.

her hair is tied up today, which is unusual. the skin on her neck is showing, and for some reason, his eyes linger more than usual in that area. when he realizes what he's doing, he takes a step back as if he's been slapped, and the sudden movement seems to draw the girl's attention, who looks directly at him, also through the gap.

“you freak me out, you know?” her voice dominates the entire room, even if it's low. minho doesn't understand why, but the echo of her words in such a large place didn't sound horrible in his ears. “that’s some really weird behavior. following me and watching me? you should be reported”

“following you and watching you? oh, flatter yourself, i only came here to ruin your day” he says, but feels something warm in his chest at being caught in such a compromising position.

“whatever i say is not going to shut you up, whatever you say is not going to matter to me at all, so there is no point” she says, fishing one last book off the shelf and walking towards the front door.

“you said i would have many other opportunities to try and drive you mad when you left me for him” he says, walking up to her.

she stops and turns to him slowly, a puzzled look on her face.

“left you for him?” she repeats, confused, but minho just nods once he's right in front of her. “don’t say things like that, minho, it’s disgusting”

when she turns to go on her way, an urge rises inside minho. he didn't want to see her leave without him having told her everything he wanted to say to her, he didn't want her to leave without the satisfaction of knowing that his image would be in her head for a long time after a simple futile exchange of words, even if fueled by hatred. because of that, his hand suddenly grabs her wrist from the arm that was free of the books and turns her towards him once more, in an exasperation to return to her field of vision as if his life depended on it.

y/n is taken aback like every time his strangely soft hand came into contact with her body, but with the amount of things she carried in her other arm, she lacked the strength to even try to remove her arm from his touch.

minho is already okay with touching her when he feels it's necessary. now, the contact no longer made his face heat up strangely like before, but it had become almost like an odd need when he saw her.

they lock eyes and they can feel their breathing getting heavier. y/n is strangely at a loss for words to use against him, her cards up her sleeve. for some reason, and she would never admit it out loud, the sight of him in front of her didn't trigger the feeling of disgust as strong as it normally felt, in fact, the heat of his touch had risen through her entire body and taken over her head, causing a mild and unknown dizziness.

after a few seconds of never-before-experienced closeness and overwhelming silence, minho struggles to get the words out of his throat.

“i…” he starts but falters slightly after noticing how intense her gaze is on him, alert. “i've wanted to tell you since that day i got promoted to vice president of the student council because i was second place” when he says this, it seems like she's snapped out of a trance, and the strength to tear her arm away from his touch finally pops up.

the look of surprise was taken over by a palpable anger and he realizes it as soon as she takes a step back, distancing herself from him as if he had shocked her.

"what?" she asks, a bitter taste in her throat.

minho wasn't enjoying this as much as he thought he would. oddly enough, the silence of previously unknown intimacy was far more preferable for some reason he couldn't quite put into words.

his shoulders slumped in inexplicable dismay, and the expression of annoyance on her face made his voice even more timid and withdrawn as he said "i hope we work well together, prez" before he hurried out of the library and leave her alone there.

stay tuned for chapter 13! new chapters every sunday ☆

taglist: @liphglos@kiyoomimybeloved@lilactangerine @swiftlydirectioning @lethallyprotected @yhawnnzz @whatthefsposts@sleepyleeji @ddazed-lhs @thatoneperson1911 (if you want to be a part of the taglist, send me an ask, comment or message <3)

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for throwing my infant son off a cliff?

So, for some context, I (250F) am a shapeshifter, and my “true” form doesn’t look particularly human. Blue skin, yellow eyes, you know how it is. But like I said, I’m a shapeshifter, so I can blend in with humans really well and there aren’t any angry mobs unless I plan on it.

But, horror of all horrors, I got pregnant.

Now, the last time I got pregnant, the baby was a perfectly average looking collection of wrinkles. I thought that was pretty normal, because most people with my genetic condition don't develop it until around puberty (it turns out the kid beat the odds and was actually just human, which, disappointing! Glad I gave him up for adoption). Point is, I figured I was okay to give birth among humans without causing a riot, since I was undercover at the time and everything.

Then, after I put all the work into getting pregnant, being pregnant, and giving birth, this little asshole (0M then, 27M now) has the nerve to be born with blue skin, yellow eyes, fur, and a tail! Like, who does that? Way to blow my cover.

So, remember what I said about angry mobs earlier? Yeah, this demon-baby was more than enough to start one (plus some other reasons I won't be getting into right now). These idiotic humans tried to run us out of town for being demons, and it was pretty clear to me that I'd have to ditch the baby and save myself. When the villagers had us pinned against a cliff, I threw him into the river below and lost myself in the crowd. I would be perfectly content to leave all of this in the past as a really fucked up but decidedly over period of my life… if he hadn't survived.

Apparently, he floated harmlessly downstream until this witch lady found him and decided to raise him as her son. Seems like a good gig to me--I would have given him up for adoption, and it seems like he really liked his other mom, so why not call it a win/win? It's not like I would have raised him anyway, I'm not meant to care for infants! 13 is the lowest I'll go for 'age of custody', legitimately for the sake of the kid and not because I'm unwilling to change career tracks to take care of a kid. I couldn't leave him with his dad because the biological one had disappeared and the guy whose wife I was posing as had died right around when he was born.

But, anyways, like I said, I would have let it be in the past if it hadn't turned out he'd survived to be recruited by one of my most annoying enemies as an adult. When everything got out in the open, it was suuuuper awkward, but it's like… Okay, I get why the idea of being thrown off a cliff as a baby is upsetting, but there were some pretty extenuating circumstances? That's basically the only thing that separates you from the rest of my biological kids I don't talk to.

I asked my wife (113F), and she basically said I'm in the clear, but I still feel pretty conflicted. AITA for throwing my newborn son off a cliff?

[imaginespazzi]

PARTTT TENN YAYAYAYAYA

- hi nivi bby your writing has been missed dearly.

- The Bridges Burned Around Us??? i fear im shaking in my boots. apparently ill be flinging myself of bridges not cliffs!

- part two has been sort of reread i went fast because im excited

- poor angie…

- “unlike HER paige” OH MY GODS AWWWWW so why don’t u make it public if she’s “yours” huh

- bruh azzi u could have healthy breathing if u just idk told your friends

- horny fuckers

- haha someone’s in trouubbbbllleee

- i like tessa she’s funny.

- jana my bby

- tessa and jana abt to be menaces together hopefully

- not them basically living together stop that’s so wholesome and cutie pie

- now why are we talking abt who paige’s has slept with azzi…

- RATHER JUMP OUT OF THE CAR IS SO ME CORE

- okay im fearful. is it abt the one year contract and like angie supposedly taking paige’s spot after the year? UGHHHH

- Stephie-bean IS SO ADORABLE

- STOP NOT STEPHIE GETTING JEALOUS 😭😭

- love. okay where is the bridge

- BYE not azzi using her daughter to stop her jealousy

- stephie being a legit mix of azzi and paige makes me so happy

- “do you know if Aunty Chérie is in town?” oh so this girl is a GENIUS

- BYE AZZI BEING A BIT OF A BITCH TO THIS KIDS MOM I LOVE IT

- OMG IS IT DREW??

- FLASHBACK TIME i love these

- awww azzi surprising paige with drew is so adorable

- BYE not the dude trying to flirt and drew stopping it 😭😭

- “you won’t ever hurt my Paigey will you?” yeah so i just died

- OH DAMN HES PISSED.

- trust stephie to make it awkward but also help ease tension

- “I don’t make promises like that kid,” there’s an unspoken accusation as Drew keeps up a smile towards Stephie but his eyes dart for the briefest second towards the two women around him, “but I promise I’ll try.” YEAH IM SCARED There’s a shine of warmth in Drew’s gaze for a second but it flickers away faster than it had appeared and his eyes are cold with flecks of betrayal as he looks at Azzi, “that’s what happens as people get older isn’t it? I wouldn’t look so different to you if you’d been around to see me grow up.” GODDAMN IM CRYING.

- i get why drew is upset with azzi. she was such a big part of his life, but omg ouch.

- the whole uncle drew thing is harming my soul. the day stephie calls paige mom in some way i won’t make it out alive.

- azzi i love u BUT PLEASE STOP OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING BING AND JUST COMMUNICATE WITH PAIGE INSTEAD OF RUINING IT IN YOUR HEAD

- UGHHH THATS THE ENDING WHY DO U END LIKE THAT U EVIL GENIUS OMG

- damn okay. the chapter ate but also the plot just gets building and as previously mentioned i am terrified for the fall.

- questions!! at the end is drew upset with paige too for getting back with azzi or just made upset with azzi leaving to begin with and projecting it onto both of them sort of?

- also like paige being like drew stop and him listening have they talked abt azzi at all since their breakup or is like a we don’t talk abt that kinda deal?

- on a similar drew note im curious as his reaction to paige telling him she’s getting a divorce with ms cunt??? was he like told u so or more symptomatic?

- ALSO OKAYYYY DREW NBA I SEE U!!! question is can he finally beat Paige 1v1

- honestly thinking back on this whole chapter i don’t have a lot of questions more just overall like waiting for everything to unfold

-as always ily!

🤩🤩

Bestieeeee hi <3

- Personally I would love if you could no throw yourself off of anything because I don't want you to die!

- Azzi just likes to make life complicated apparently cause you're so right

- Yep yep yep, it's exactly about that. We all knew that was gonna come back and here we are.

- Stephie knows exactly where to twist the dagger lmao

- Yeah I'm ngl writing the Drew angst has been the saddest I've been writing this fic just cause like he really was just collateral damage and he didn't deserve it

- Drew is mainly mad at Azzi but he's also against the idea of them getting back together because he doesn't trust her to not hurt Paige again.

- LMAO every time you call her Ms. Cunt I giggle but he was definitely just relieved cause he knew Paige's heart wasn't in it.

[starzwithapen]

what r solar's thoughts on brozone... the brozone brothers.... them.... 😈.

WAANXN TY FOR ASKING ABOUT SOLAR IM SO NORMAL ABOUT MY OCS . twirls my hair . I WROTE SO MUCH IM SO SORRY

Solar does not like them upon first meeting purely on the basis that there must've been a reason Clay got upset if he thought about them too long right? And she thinks Viva REALLY needs to do background checks before just letting anyone in- but he warms up to them ^w^

I think she'd get along most with Branch surprisingly- I'd assume they'd spend more time together when Viva and Poppy hang out, and he's familiar enough that it doesn't have Solar on edge, and she actually really admires him [don't tell anyone but Branch reminds Solar of his sister sometimes, and he finds that a little comforting]

Solar likes Bruce but is lowkey intimidated by him LMAO mostly because he was closest to Clay and the one Clay spoke of the most so Solar's like "oh my god this is the equivalent of meeting their parents since they dont have parents . I have to Impress Bruce constantly . Does Bruce think Im weird . If Bruce thinks I'm weird ill throw myself off a cliff . "

I dont think Solar spends much time with Floyd- Floyd doesn't initiate in fear of making her uncomfortable, and Solar would rather eat a car battery than initiate any interaction. Floyd's pretty okay in her book, and everyone's reaction to Floyd's hair being positive makes him feel better about his own hair

SOLAR DOES NOT LIKE JOHN DORY . number 1 reason Clay did not speak of him fondly so he's been on Solar's hitlist since before he even met him . Number 2 reason he also reminds her of her sister but in a Bad way and Solar doesnt wanna think too hard about that. I think they'd have a bit of a heart warming moment when Solar first reunites with his sister and their relationship kinda improves from there

[prismatoxic]

personal life shit, largely negative (i'm not in any danger i'm just immensely stressed out)

i have a dentist appointment on may 14th, for some tooth pain that mostly crops up when chewing. i've needed to see a dentist for a while but as it is one of my least favorite places to be in the world (combination of fear of pain + knowing i'll be shamed), i've been putting it off. i can't anymore, obviously, but the clinic was booked out for a while, and i'm not in emergency levels of pain so a normal appointment was all i could do.

the pain comes and goes; usually it's only when i bite down on things, but every so often one of the two teeth i'm concerned about will ache for a bit. i've been 100% avoiding eating on that side, drinking only water, and eating only softer foods, as well as doing what care i can that won't exacerbate the issue (mouthwash mostly), and for the most part i'm surviving. however, the threat of this getting worse before my appointment and then of me having to scramble to get an emergency appointment (which i will very likely have to schedule a few days out, at minimum) has me stressed out like you would not fucking believe.

my weird sleep schedule turned back into sleeping a "normal" amount of hours, although i think my body is starting to shift into hypersomnia mode. my entire body is frequently in various amounts of pain--not pains i'm unused to, but ones being extremely exacerbated by stress (mostly in my shoulders and lower back). i pretty much constantly have a headache. and, of course, the icing on top of all of this is that stress fucks up my emotional regulation, because of course it does, which means i'm taking everything personally, upsetting people makes me want to delete every social media account i have and throw myself off a cliff, and i am both quick to anger and quick to start sobbing.

oh and my birthday is tomorrow. so that's cool. i can't even go out to dinner because i'm too scared of making my teeth worse.

so if i seem terse, disinterested, melancholy, annoyed, or nervous, uh. that's why. i'll be forgetting to respond to things more than usual until this calms down, probably. it's been lovely to meet so many new people lately; try to be patient with me if i'm not super social.

[millimononym]

Choose violence ask: 10, 12 and 25 for Galactik Football

k imma be honest this was really hard cuz like. Galactik football is a really small fandom so we don't really have a general "fanon" consensus or really a general Anything consensus so i had to think abt it real hard

10. worst part of fanon

ok so we don't really have a fanon (again) but something i saw in some fics (not bashing anybody btw) quite enough was making the other SK super unlikable to the point of OOC just to make another character seem better or more sympathetic (it's Micro-ice). Just. Complete assholery to a ridiculous level that would never happen in between the main cast(at least in the first 2 seasons) just to make u feel bad for the guy.

And i don't understand that. Because like. Micro-ice is already kind of mistreated in canon? he literally never got an apology for the way he was treated (which made him RUN AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE!!) and everyone just returned to being friendly with each other despite them never addressing Micro-ice's feelings in a proper way imo. So WHY would you feel the need to make the others OOC to a ridiculous degree to try and make people sympathize with Micro-ice??? He's ALREADY SYMPATHETIC!! Just adress his feelings !!!

Oh and this was also done mostly for shipping reasons because...of course.

Can't have a character have a healthy support system outside of the one person they're dating!! Nope!! We HAVE to isolate a person from their friends by making them uncharacteristically horrible just to make the only outside option look better!! Peak romance!! /S (literally it's just the family friendly version of that fanfic trope where writers kill off canon characters who 'get in the way' of their ship lol)

12.the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Ok so i know "unpopular" in this context means hated or unliked but... I think i agree with most of the fandoms opinions on this one lol. Just to check, The hated characters that come to my mind are Yuki(don't really hate her on her own, but her relationship with Micro ice makes me wanna throw myself off a cliff so as a side effect i dislike her), Mark(no strong opinions to give except "he's boring" which we've all heard a million times by now), p much everyone in s3...idk i can't really remember anyone else. I personally find duke Maddox annoying but that's not the point of the question

So I'll take this as LITERAL unpopularity. You may have noticed but a while back i was obsessed with The Shadows and giving them personalities since i was upset that as the rival team they never got screen time. I think i was the only one that cared about them lol so there's that. It's just...Sinedd was a semi-main character! And they made a big deal out of him leaving for the Shadows!! And then NEVER expanded on them as a team other than "they aggressive 😢" !!! They should have done something with them!!!! Also the other rival teams as well. We should have gotten more alien content in this sci fi series goddamit!! They all have lots of potential that was unfortunately unused imo

25.common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I agree with most common fandom complaints..but as this is a small fandom, so we probably think of different things (or I'm just forgetting something)

The most common complaints i hear are that the pirates subplot took up too much time, clothing design being wack and generally disliking season 3. i agree with those, personally.

Again you and i probably think of different things when we hear "common fandom complaint" so feel free to tell me which ones i may have missed because I'm probably forgetting a lot

[livia-dovehallow]

i'm actually terrified to read chain of thorns because if something happens to cecily or gabriel i will throw myself off a cliff

like i can't even stomach the idea i'd be so upset bruh

anyway, i have 2 copies pre-ordered because evidently i love pain and 1 of those is gonna be signed

[fabbyf1]

Ok, ch1 thoughts…

YOU DID THE CARLOS THING!!! Oh my sweet confused bebeh, he’s upset and doesn’t know why! (We know why…)

Don’t you DARE make me start liking Silvia!! No but in truth, we love a sensible and supportive Queen.

WHEN will it be be my turn to get sloppy, horny, MASSIVE Max dick pics!!!? (Followed by emotionally horny max but I’m still processing that, he has too much of my heart already)

And finally: 🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

Love you babes, this series is a MASTERPIECE

Off to throw myself off a cliff…

BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You are so sweet, thank you so much!!!! I'm so glad you like it!!!!!!!!!

🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

Move over, I want to throw myself off a cliff first.

[bekindtoyou4007]

Late night dramatic develooment re. our mother. Via sister so you know it was bad because she broke our radio silence to tell me. She seemed genuinely angry and upset so I guess I should be happy she came to me anyway in that vulnerable state and feels comfortable enough with me still to share like that. I felt really hopeless with the news. As per, our mother has made a sudden change in mental health treatment under the assumption she's totally fine now. Que cera cera. That's what I'm telling myself when I feel the usual ratcheting up of anxiety, of what if she has another downturn, which is usually what I feel right before I'm proved right in some unpleasant fashion. It must be terrible for her as a person to be in this awful cycle, but as a family member I feel resentment for also being dragged along. At least when she gets unwell again as a result of sacking off treatment, she can know it was her risk to run and she had some control over it. I truly have no control at all over the situation and never will. Her health doesn't happen to her the same way it happens to others. She could do some things to help herself, but doesn't. The only way it isn't agony is by not caring as much. If that's a tragedy for her, it's also a tragedy for other people. She might wish she was closer to her children. And I wish my mother wasn't doing the mental health equivalent of throwing herself off a cliff, but you can't have everything can you... my sister was angrier than me then but I think my anger has found its voice now! I am doing the right thing by continuing the distance. I can care about my parent and want the best for her, but I am not obligated to make myself sick with worry and stress trying to force her to do the sensible thing.

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

Promises on the Oak tree

"can you hold me?" He asked so simply, so calmly unlike what he truly felt.

They were sat on the bark of the Oak tree in the forbidden forest in the silence of the night after everyone had gone to sleep and they had managed to sneak past the doors to be with each other.

Draco nodded, "of course."

He brought his arms closer and wrapped them around Harry's body while Harry tried to hold onto him. He leaned his face over Draco's shoulder and stayed silent. Draco knew something was up, he had known it all day when he noticed Harry in the great hall in the morning barely speaking to anyone and spending most of his day away from any sort of company but unfortunately he had no idea what had actually happened and he was afraid that Harry would only want silence and peace that day.

They stayed silent for a really long time, long enough for Draco to cast a warming charm on both of them and for his mood to become more worrisome as to what had really happened until he finally decided one had to speak up and it had to be him.

"Harry? Are you okay?"

Harry only nodded but Draco knew after having been together long enough that he wasn't okay, there was something and Harry only wanted a little time and a little more comfort to finally talk about it.

"You know I love you, right?" Draco said suddenly.

Harry looked up at Draco almost confused.

"I don't know what happened but I'm here with you for whatever you want and I love you, I just want you to know that."

Harry shook his head suddenly, "It's just- Somedays are harder than the others."

Draco gently took hold of one of Harry's hands and intertwined their fingers together.

"I- I don't know what happened but I've just been strange all day and Ron and Hermione kept bothering me about it. You know those sort of days where you don't even know what's wrong but you're just- kind of thinking of every possible thing wrong about yourself?"

Draco frowned but Harry didn't look at him.

"I don't know what came over me but something just doesn't feel right.. it's almost like I don't even like myself anymore, that maybe I haven't for a while. These nightmares someday become too real that I start believing that i deserve it, that you-know-who is getting in my head and coming after me, that maybe I deserve it and everyone hates me at school, I deserve it. I know it's wrong but somedays are harder than the others and I forget the lines between what's real and what's not and I delve into that anxiety of never being good enough- and I don't know how to fix that. I've never known how to fix it."

Draco for the first time in their relationship ever wanted to throw Harry off a cliff for thinking he could ever deserve all those things. It made him so mad but he instantly became so upset because Harry was the most precious thing in the whole world and he deserved the absolute best and it was a shame that he couldn't make him believe that.

But Draco nodded, "Some days are worse than the others, I agree but we can't get hung up on those bad days, can we? If we keep falling into what we think we deserve and what we actually deserve, the world would fall into crisis. But we all have those days, you know. I have days myself when I feel so low that I just want to stay curled up in my bed all day and keep thinking over what people in the halls say about me but then I think about you and I realise that in every hall In the world you'll still love me same, my friends would still love me the same and probably my parent's too. The solution is not to sulk into those thoughts but to think of all the people who oppose our fears and I for one can tell you Harry Potter, you deserve the best in the whole universe."

"But how do you get out of that train of bad thoughts?" He asked.

Draco shrugged, "you gotta believe in the people who love you for a reason. Look, I know it's hard but there are people out there who love you for a reason and you have to believe their reasons and I know it's hard because believing the bad things is easier than the good things but we have to let our feelings slide and learn to love ourselves a little more."

"But what if I never learn how to love myself?"

Draco stared at Harry for long enough to feel water prickling at his eyes. How could an amazing person like him remotely even think about not being good enough?

"Then I'll do the loving on both our parts. I'll love you till you learn to love yourself, even if it rakes forever, I'll be here to show you exactly why you deserve all the love in the world."

And then Harry finally met his eyes and gave him a small smile, "I'll never understand why you love me but I'm glad you do."

"I'm glad you're glad I love you."

"you'll be here? For as long as it takes?"

"For as long as it takes."

"I love you, Draco."

And he loved him, too.

I know I'm updating after so long but today I finally had the time and the motivation to write and all I could do was putting first thing in my head in the prompt.

Tagging some of y'all for a boost, don't hesitate if you're uncomfortable with the tag <3

@phoebe-delia ​ @chinike @elenaxoxo22 ​ @thecornerofbelu @nv-md ​ ​ @cissa-bee @missdrarrydawn @harryandginnydeservesbetter @draco-lucious-potter @textrovert-01 @dearly-devoted-dawdler @drarrywords

[bi-bard]

We’re Two Worlds Apart - Tenth Doctor Imagine (Doctor Who)

Title: We’re Two Worlds Apart

Pairing: Tenth Doctor X Reader

Based On: Astronomy

Word Count: 1,067 words

Warning(s): argument, yelling, pretty sure attempted kidnapping is the right warning here

Summary: After all that he’s lost, the Doctor was hoping that (Y/n) would stay with him. When they decide that’s not the best decision for them, the Doctor ends up scrambling to hold onto them.

Author's Note: Yeah... I'm sorry.

SUPERACHE - CONAN GRAY WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

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I felt like I was ready to throw up as I walked into the console room.

"Ahh, you're awake," the Doctor said once he spotted me. "I swear, you lot sleep for ages."

"8 hours is recommended," I muttered, trying to ignore the weight in my stomach. I forced a chuckle. "I don't usually get that much."

"I'll have to fix that," he grinned at me. I grinned back at him. "You're upset."

I hummed, eyebrows furrowing.

"I can see it," he explained. "We've been traveling together for a while now. You think I can't tell?"

Another chuckle was forced out.

"(Y/n)... what's wrong?"

I let out a sigh and looked down. I heard the Doctor walking over to me. I didn't look at him until I saw the tips of his shoes. He had his eyebrows drawn up as he frowned at me.

"Talk to me."

I took a deep breath. "I... I think I should go home."

"For a visit," he asked. A smile started breaking out. "That's fine. You've just gotta ask."

He walked to the console.

"I'll take us there right now and you can have a nice visit-"

"I meant forever," I cut him off. He looked up from the controls. "I... I wanna go home."

He stared at me for a moment before furrowing his eyebrows and looking down. He was trying to avoid showing any kind of extreme reaction. I had been with him long enough to know that.

"Why," he asked after a few moments of silence.

I bit my tongue.

"(Y/n)?"

"I... I'm scared," I said. I felt pathetic saying it out loud, but it was true. "I can't do this anymore. I need to stop running. I need to feel safe."

"I can keep you safe."

"I can keep myself safe on Earth," I replied. "But here... I can't do this anymore, Doctor. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"But the adventures," he stepped toward me again. "The planets and the history and the amazing sights-"

"Don't outweigh my fear," I stopped him. "I walk out of those doors and my heart drops. I... I can't commit to helping and being with you if I can barely handle being outside of the TARDIS."

He didn't speak. He just looked at me.

"I'm sorry-"

I was cut off by him reaching over and flipping a switch. I jumped to grab the console.

"What are you doing?!"

"I'm reminding you why you decided to go with me," the Doctor said, pointing at me. "I... I can't let you leave."

"Doctor, no!"

"Here."

The TARDIS landed harshly.

"Come on."

"No."

"It's a planet where there are cliffs made of pure crystal. The sun catches it just right and creates this gorgeous-"

"Doctor, stop," I said as he tried to grab my arm.

"You're right," he nodded, stepping back. "I have a much better idea."

"You aren't listening to me-"

I latched onto the console again. I closed my eyes as the TARDIS landed. The Doctor was ignoring me. He was so focused on this that he was ignoring what I was actually saying.

"Planet that is basically one giant garden. Beautiful flowers from every corner of the universe; all of them sitting here to make sure none of them go extinct."

He grabbed my arm, pulling me out of the TARDIS. I hissed a little. It hurt. He had never hurt me before.

He started pointing at plants as he dragged me away from the TARDIS. He was moving quickly. He was barely keeping himself from just running. He was trying to make sure that there was a considerable distance between me and my only ride home.

"This one genuinely smells like a campfire, which isn't great, but you can understand why it looks like flames."

"Doctor-"

"This one produces almost four times the oxygen as the average tree on Earth."

"Doctor-"

"This one is actually edible-"

"Doctor, stop!"

I finally managed to pull my arm away from his and stopped running. He stared back at me with wide eyes. I felt my heart breaking all over again.

It was silent. Tense. For the first time, he was the thing that scared me. And he knew that.

"I... I wanna go home, Doctor," I said as tears filled my eyes. "I've been thinking about this for weeks. I know what I want. No more running, no more convincing. I want to go home. Please. Let me go home."

He blinked a few times before looking around. It was like he was suddenly realizing what he had done today. I looked down, blinking away the tears.

"I... I'm sorry," he muttered. "(Y/n). I'm so, so sorry."

I stepped back when he reached for me. He froze and stepped back again.

"I'll take you home now," he promised. "I... I'm sorry."

I just nodded.

It was silent on the trip home. The only noise was the engine as we landed. I stood up and walked toward the door.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I... I just wanted to get you to stay. I thought if I convinced you, then I wouldn't have to be alone."

I stopped with my hand on the door. I walked back over to him. He was looking down as I pulled him into a tight hug. He slowly hugged me back.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"I'm not leaving because I'm angry or because I hate you," I mumbled before stepping back. "I'm leaving because this world isn't meant for me. But I know that it's perfect for you. You are always going to be that man running around with his police box that saves everyone he can. And I have had an amazing time traveling with you. I'm not trying to make you lonely, but we are on two different worlds... figuratively."

"I know," he nodded. I closed my eyes as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

I stepped back, walking backward toward the door. "Goodbye, Doctor. And thank you... for everything."

"You're welcome," he grinned. "And goodbye, (Y/n).

As the TARDIS door closed behind me, I felt a pressure roll off my back. As much as I knew I would miss the Doctor, I knew this was for the best.

For a moment, just for a moment, I was able to feel safe.

Even if that meant that the Doctor and I no longer saw eye-to-eye.

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Masterlist (Includes links to All Writing Challenges)

What I Write For

Some Original Characters