#but if it makes you happy then I suppose it’s fine lol
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As a trans man I love mpreg as long as it’s not fetishized. I want kids in the future so seeing mpreg is like going oh hey! Another seahorse dad! I don’t get to see myself in media much. It makes me uncomfortable when people don’t separate the 2 mpreg can be fetishized but it’s also a thing a lot of transgender afab go through. I know this is a sonadow account and it’s not that deep lol but thanks it’s cool seeing it :) saying that: more plz 🥹
This actually makes me feel so relieved bc another reason why I’m always hesitant to post pregnant Shadow is I’m worried that it can be seen as disrespectful or that if it might be used for fetishization purposes which isn’t really what I’d like my art to be associated with.
I don’t want to kink shame anyone, as an agender aroace person who does not experience any romantic or sexual desire whatsoever (i think? still learning about the different types of experiences within the aroace spectrum) I feel that I am literally the least qualified to talk about the morality behind mpreg as a kink/fetish.
With all that in mind, I do wanna say that I wish there was more transgender pregnancy representation that wasn’t just fetish. Like just googling “pregnancy symptoms” will give you a wide range of experiences, but when I was trying to look into if there were unique ways that pregnancy can effect trans men, it took a lot of digging so either I’m just stupid and can’t search things on the internet very well or there really isn’t a lot of representation of trans pregnancies.
Although I did recently learn that in the r/pregnancy subreddit, FTM does not in fact mean “Female to Male” and is actually just “First Time Mom” which makes a lot of sense bc for awhile I thought half of the subreddit were just trans guys. Then I discovered there is literally a subreddit r/seahorse_dads and so I spent awhile just reading a bunch of posts in there.
Anyway I’m fine just existing in my own space with sonadow family fluff, but when I share it I get all nervous bc mpreg is cringefail or whatever and I don’t even know if it’s cringe for being cringe or if it’s cringe bc it’s a fetish. Just know that whenever I post any art of any kind, I try to think as little as possible about how people will interpret my drawings, bc at the end of the day I just drew it because it made me happy and thinking about sonadow fluff gives me warm and fuzzy butterflies that I think people are supposed feel when they’re in love but I’ve never experienced that for another person in my entire life and I don’t think I’ll be able to. So thinking about and drawing sonadow is probably the closest I’ll get to that feeling.
And it makes me even more happy when people say they genuinely connected with my art bc then I know that the warm and fuzzy butterflies feeling got through, and I’m just really glad we can all get our little serotonin boost from these stupid gay hedgehogs.
I genuinely don’t think any of this makes sense I’ve spent 3 hours trying to write a response to this ask and then I remembered that I got zero sleeps last night so that’s probably why brain no worky but in conclusion: thank you for the ask Anon it really made my day and I’m spiritually headbutting you like a cat as they say
#asks#para normal talks#para sleep deprived talks#para rambles#i really need to organize my tags better#uhhhhhh#sonadow#mpreg#cat#my cat is here with me in my bed so theres that
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(Half-related vent to Tumblr, no need to read, not recommended to read, nothing personal, etc):
Why am I still being recommended an account of a person I'm never gonna meet anyway, when I thought my interests (aka myself), and my fears (aka teens), were made very clear, as well as what triggers my addiction. It's great that this person is having birthday, but I wouldn't know that, if Tumblr would stop recommending them. I'm not gonna block them, as that's extreme, and I have no reason to, and they're welcome to talk to me, I just expected this to go away on its own. I know how this person is, coming back isn't a welcome - it's like coming back to school, aka an arena full of teenagers - as they have, like, a BILLION notes every time, especially compared to me, and, what, I'm supposed to praise them as well?! What am I supposed to do?! You want me to see their posts?! FINE, I'll SEE their posts, but don't come YELLIN' at ME when I vent in them or whatever! I have a hard time enough ignoring things as it is, and then there's half this person's posts, which are presumably about some other hormone-having thing - and as blockable as I am, I don't wanna be RUDE or anything (even though romance and other stuff should be tagged and I don't tag all my posts almost every single time, just to end up reading stuff that makes me side-glance my damn addiction), and like, good for them ... what now though? And WHAT ABOUT ME? Isn't my ACCOUNT, about me? Like, PLEASE, can we focus on the one I have regular contact to (aka ME), who DOESN'T have a thousand MILLION notes at my feet at each vent or each unfunny post, and who I NEED, to focus on, because "just don't think about things that trigger your addiction", and, "think about things that make you happy, not scary teens!" - and like, I didn't WANT, to be back - TO A PERSON WHO REMINDS ME OF PEOPLE I WISH I NEVER MET BY THE WAY - but anyways, in order for this to not just be a roasting session (that's later today, with marshmallows, and not with the flesh of some hormone-container), I do wanna add some compliments, because I don't hate this person, but I do fucking hate my fucking life, right now: they seem nice, nice positivity or whatever when they're being happy and positive for no reason, nice cohesive memorable Picrew, grammar not bad except for lack of capitalization, points for honesty, paragraphs are nicely spaced out (not relatable LOL - shit I didn't even space THIS one out) - pretty Picrew person, and that's all I guess. I don't wanna come off as rude (after I just came off as very rude), and yes they don't need to know that, but like ... actually, it's not like my choices in life always make sense, or are always nice or anything - I don't know why I just don't or what is wrong with me or why I just DO, but it's in my personality, and I have a weird tendency to follow that, which contrasts with what my addiction even is.
i dont know why im doing this, but
hi, my name is rin.
you might know me already, seen me in passing, hate me or know nothing about me.
you may also know me as batman, or ria, or ren or even sometimes raf.
i like a lot of stuff, like music and poetry and writing.
I love my partner. a lot
i do some sports, like archery and rock climbing, but thats not really my thing. i also write songs, play flute and ukulele.
i like math, and design, i enjoy reading and writing essays, i got gifted kid burnout but i love doing stuff too much to stop.
sometimes, i feel rather old. but im just a kid in this fucked up world and sometimes that makes me sad.
im depressed, and have anxiety, and a slew of mental health issues. i'm also probably neurodivergent.
im not very normal, in a lot of regards, but i think that adds to my character.
im trans, specifically genderfluid, but im getting to a stage where im starting to not give a shit.
im aroace, aroflux technically. but as far as im concerned i like my partner and i dont really know what else.
i do a lot of stuff, i consume a lot of media, you will never catch me lacking cus im really chronically online and just a little bit insane.
my birthday is soon, which i suppose is why im writing this, but i thought i should reintroduce myself to me. as i age i've managed to be the same person, in a lot of different ways. i dont always recognize the person in the mirror, but i think thats ok.
i hope its ok.
and ive come to realize maybe i dont need to be fixed. im definitely not normal but i've never wanted to be either.
id like to be someone who does cool shit, and someone who makes and advocates and does what i love. but normality is simply not for me and i really rather be a crazy bitch in the middle of the woods than a normal bitch in the suburbs.
so yeah, i'm rin, welcome or welcome back to my shitshow of a brain.
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Late Night Swim
❤️🔥 Valentine's Collection 2025: Skinnydipping ❤️🔥
Azris x Reader
Summary: Your best friends Azriel and Eris get you to join them for a swim at the local pool after hours. You'd just thought you would have a swim suit is all.
Warnings: skinny dipping, slight coercion but nothing serious, the boys are thirsty
Words: 636
Author's Note: this was sooo fun to write, I'm still not sure I can write Eris thooo lol. I hope you guys like this one!! 🫶 Read it on AO3!
18+ only pls
🤍💙🤍🧡🤍
“Come on, Y/N, we made a pact,” Eris teased you from in the water, his hips just barely covered where he was standing, waiting for you to join him.
“Exactly, you just need to come in here and then we can all get out,” Azriel added, his eyes dark as he looked at you.
You averted your eyes from both of them, wanting to avoid glancing anywhere that would be inappropriate for a friend’s eyes to linger. Your gaze stayed locked on the doorway behind them, where you thought it would be most likely that a security guard would come from, though Azriel had assured you that he had taken care of the guard - whatever that meant.
“Come on, little bunny, the longer you stay dry the more likely it is that we all get caught, and you don’t want that, now do you?” Eris asked, walking closer to you.
“It’s just-“ you let out a frustrated sigh. “I thought that the two of you had brought suits for all of us, not planned on skinny dipping!” You hissed, eliciting a chuckle from Eris.
“Having a suit just adds time to the process, love,” he explained, though you felt he might have had another reason, seeing as he was proudly standing in front of you, his lower nearly exposed in the dim lighting of the pool.
“Just as you staying on the edge of the pool does,” Azriel said pointedly, raising a brow at you.
You scrunched up your nose as you thought it over. Either you A) get in with your underwear on and walk the three miles home in cold, wet, uncomfortable clothes or B) get in without your underwear on and have your best friends see you naked. Or, you supposed, option 3) run out right now and be teased about it for forever. That… Wasn’t really an option in your opinion, though.
Not when you had a massive crush on both of them.
“Fine, but look away until I’m in the pool, got it?” They both nodded after you stared at them harshly, and turned around to give you some privacy.
You waited a moment to make sure they would stay facing that way, then quickly got up and kicked off your shoes, with your shirt, jeans, bra, underwear and socks following right after. It took you all of thirty seconds to strip down and slip into the pool, your arms crossed over your chest to provide some sense of modesty.
“Happy?”
The pair of them turned fast, sending ripples through the water as they set their eyes on you, roving over your exposed flesh and lingering over your crossed arms.
“Very,” Eris replied with a pleased smirk, walking closer to you.
Azriel kept more distance between the two of you than Eris did, but his eyes felt heavier on you, and you’d swear you saw them lingering on your lips. “Why don’t we swim around for a bit? Like I said, the security guard won’t be coming in for a few hours,” he suggested, extending a scarred hand to you, curling his fingers slightly to entice you.
You bit your lip and looked down, pondering your options, but that was a mistake. Because your eyes locked onto Eris’s erect cock, flicking up a moment later, wide with shock. Without thinking you dropped one of your arms from your chest so you could take Azriel’s hand, and let him lead you into the deeper part of the pool.
Maybe… Maybe they hadn’t thought to leave the swimsuits at home for practical purposes but rather… They had planned to get you to join them in skinny dipping?
Whatever the reason, maybe this was your chance, their way of hinting their interest in you.
And you would sure as hell be taking it.
🤍💙🤍🧡🤍
General Taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @lilah-asteria @meritxellao @twismare @wrenisrad
#late night swim#azris x reader#poly!Azris x reader#poly!acotar#azriel x reader x Eris#skinny dipping#smut-adjacent#drabble#eris vanserra#Eris#azriel#Valentine's collection 2025#acotar#acotar fic#acotar fanfic#tato writes
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i agree with all your takes about ck and especially about how they did robby so so dirty, so i'm just curious, what do you think a good ending/arc for him would look like? like where would he be, what would he end up doing for his career, what would be a good conclusion for his character?
It depends on how far back we’re taking this. Actually meaningfully developing his relationship with Johnny on screen, and letting him retain his relationship with Daniel on screen, would have gone a long way in making the ending he did get palatable to me. If his little speech to Johnny actually felt earned in anyway, I would have found it moving. I would still think the whole influencer side of it was just really fucking stupid lol, but if it actually felt like he did have family and he did have people who loved him and prioritized him, it would be fine. Bc as it is it just feels like they slapped a few hundred thousand dollar bandaid on his life and said “hey he’s rich now, so you have to be happy!” 😒
But given that’s all been a lost cause for a while now, I suppose what I actually expected and wanted was for him to become a Miyagi-Do sensei. I always knew Robby wouldn’t win the Sekai Taikai and that’s fine. Would it be nice to see him win something for once? Sure, but it’s never been a priority to me. Mentoring Kenny seemed to be where Robby really shined, and he’s also the only student we’ve ever seen actually teach anyone. I think Daniel seeing his promise through to Amanda and actually retiring from teaching karate (bc obviously karate itself will always be a part of his life) and having Robby take over as sensei would have been a really full-circle conclusion to his arc, as well as bringing it all back around to his relationship with Daniel and what brought him into this world in the first place. It’s not as flashy as wealthy karate influencer, but that’s never been Robby, anyway.
#in an ideal world both of these things would be true tho#robby and johnny would actually get the development this show needs and then robby wiuld end it by becoming a sensei#thanks for asking!#asks#anonymous#ck spoilers#cobra kai spoilers#s6 spoilers#robby keene
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Hiii just wanted to say you are my favorite tumblr page on this site/application. Have a good day and sparkle on :>
I worry for your health but ok <3
#saying this is your favorite is like saying your favorite smell is gasoline#my favorite dinner is a plate of lead paint chips and a glass of swamp water#this cannot be healthy#but if it makes you happy then I suppose it’s fine lol#non voice post#ask#asks
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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This is something I’ve wanted to do since my first one, I have updated my character tierlist from s1 to s2 now that it’s finished! I always think these are fun so I just wanted to post them. As you can see my opinions on many characters changed quite a bit. Also these are in order, even for very minor characters. The “first” one is accurate to the one I made in 2022 when I first watched the show, I just remade it so the tierlists match.
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#arcane#I’d like to say I am an avid defender of the fact none of these characters are wholly terrible people#anyway yes some opinions changed majorly#I use to be pretty non chalant about Caitlyn#as a whole I think I have decided her to be pretty low for the main characters on my list#I adore certain moments of her but#am more pissed off by her than not LOL#as for vi#I really did not like her in s1#but I will be fully transparent and say a lot of that is fandom bias because#I have not gotten along with Vi fans basically the entire time I’ve been in the fandom#but it’s natural I suppose being a fan of her opposite#but still I didn’t really like her too much anyway#I enjoyed her presence much more this season#although im aware many Vi fans are not happy with her character#Jayce and Mel are not major favorites of mine either but I also enjoyed their presence#but I really enjoyed Jayce’s character arc and Mel’s presence even if I was a little confused as a non league fan lol#viktor and singed are so very interesting to me always have been#ekko is truly the boy savior and i hoped that would happen but did not expect the degree of which it occurred#jinx and isha nothing major to say i just adore them#SEVIKA MY BELOVED#probably my favorite character in terms of like. who i would support and want to be friends with if that makes sense#and then silco#oh silco#how i miss you so#OH GOD FORGOT HEIMERDINGER#i HAAAAAATED that mfer#he’s fine now we are cool#LOVED his song i had it on loop at work earlier today#anyway thank you for reading if you did
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in retrospect I guess I should have read between the lines but months ago one of our friends was like 'hey guys the school where I work just got a 3d printer, so if you have any heroforge stl files and send them to me we can try printing them :)'
and I, having never bought an stl file from heroforge (I don't have any use for them) and also having seen how Normal 3d printers handle heroforge minis (very badly), privately went Oh well that's pretty cool but I'm not... interested in that, since it's Not Gonna Work and trying just to see for sure would cost me eight dollars instead of nothing
this month heroforge has been doing a huge anniversary sale, and at the top of the month he'd mentioned again that If We Wanted To Do That, now would probably be a good time! :) because stl files are only 4$ right now! :) and I still didn't... do that, because I don't really want them, and I also frankly don't want to feel guiltily obligated to use chunky bad minis when we play
anyway today he was like 'hey guys that sale is ending pretty soon, so if you guys each wanna send me a mini I will buy them and work on printing them, or if you buy it yourself I can paypal you the 4$' like OOHHH, dude! you should have just SAID you wanted it for you, I would have done it WAY sooner!!!
#I'm not gonna let him pay me back are you kidding. it's For You??? I can pay eight bucks for this FOR you!!!#honestly what I also maybe should have done The Very First Time It Came Up#was just say 'oh my dad tried printing a heroforge mini on a regular 3d printer before and it literally couldn't do it'#but at the time I thought surely his brother would take him up on it right away-- or he'd just try it himself sooner rather than later#like-- I DID express some polite doubt that 3d printers Can Do heroforge minis but I didn't push it when he was like No It Should Be Fine#because like! okay man! seems rude to fight you on this when you're so enthusiastic and hey idk maybe I'm wrong anyway#like *I* don't know much about this I just have a General Awareness of printer resolution minimums and heroforge model size and complexity#anyway SHRUG none of this matters to me if Trying It will make him happy#although I wish he'd been less squirrelly about making that clear lol oh my dude I could have found you stuff I want on thingverse for free#ANYWAY maybe the printer's resolution IS really fine and they turn out amazing and this is the best thing ever#We Shall See I Suppose 🤔#about me#irl frens
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New toys ✨ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#I found a gift card that had been swallowed by my chair for the past ??months and so opted to get myself some new tools!#I've been wanting new erasers for sooooooo incredibly long now hwahh#I've been using stick erasers - the kind that you can kachunk out similar to a utility knife? Retractable like that - since high school#Even sharpening them to get a finer point - if you'll recall from my getting .3 drafting mechanical pencils I draw Very small lol#But they'd never stay sharp for long! And getting fine details had to fall on the editing side of things when I Wanted my paper to be clean!#So I finally bit the bullet and got myself some shiny news :D And then my laptop charger broke and I had to use the rest for that :/#But I still got the erasers so! I'll take it! Lol#And I do quite like them ♪ They still don't Quite beat out my current favourite brick eraser that I got I think two birthdays ago?#Or last Christmas? From my brother <3 Such a sweetheart ♥ It's been working Fantastically but it is - as stated - a brick#Fine details =/= brick#Which sucks Especially now because if you look at that second one - the examples - The Brick is an Excellent eraser!!#Leaves no scannable residue is Extremely clean and shiny! And it has a soft formula that is very friendly on the paper! I love it#If I could have a stick of That in my new mechanical guys I would in a heartbeat buuuut it's a different formula for stability :P#I get why but uughhhh#Not to say that the others are bad! There's also the learning curve element! Still getting used to them!#But you can probably guess that I doodled my positive reaction before scanning lol - it looks clean to the naked eye! Computers see more smh#I ended up with a multipack of all the same brand of erasers but in different shapes :) Two mechanical two bricks and one sharpenable#And one kneaded but those dry out so fast I tend not to use them lol#So far I have completely fallen for my sharpenable of all things haha ♪ It just has Such a fine point!! And a shavings brush on the end!#It's kind of silly with how long it is lol but I like it!#I think part of it Has been user error - I'm pretty sure I over-brushed some of my doodles which caused the graphite to rub off#Specifically into the supposed-to-be-white sections - if you remember the dream comic I made with Gaster and Papyrus you can imagine#Lots of residue that makes it a long edit :P The whole idea is to make editing easier by Not having lines or toning where it's not wanted!#Still a bit hit or miss but I'm Very willing to keep working with them haha - they make my page-eyes happy if nothing else#I feel like I can spend a bit more time on the drawing side of things - more willing to make it prettier before scanning :)#Which is what I want!! I want more time drawing and less time editing!! Even just proportionately#So I'm pleased overall ♪
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good fucking food
#tomgreg#OH GOD OH FUCK#greg has agreed to do whatever tom has asked every time and this is the first time he's been like#no actually i'm gonna go to the bros myself despite the fact that tom told him not to#and tom's already taken the hit of nate being invited to the party which is still a sore spot#bc it was supposed to be his and sh*v's party just like it was supposed to be his and sh*vs wedding yet nate is there. again.#so he's like. ok greg let's strategise [i find strategy sexy] make me feel secure with you#and when greg does in fact not do that... oh man. tom's face he's noooot happy about it!!!#his voice goes all high pitched and he does an expression actually similar to sh*v lol#like FINE WHATEVER I DONT CARE DO WHAT YOU WANT [narrator voice: he did in fact care a lot]#but then he touches greg's back!!!!! aaargahrga! tom you are so transparent!!!! he's so very clearly attached to both sh*v and greg#like atp i don't care. he feels similarly to greg as he does to sh*v i've seen enough evidence this season to prove that to me#as in. feelings. romantically. when they hurt him he still loves them and is gentle with them until he can't take it any more.#i don't know when we'll see what happens with greg maybe next episode GOD#if the firing thing does happen which i don't want!!!! god!!!!! maybe THEN we'll see it#maybe an argument somewhat like his and sh*v's tho obviously not to the scale but like. WHO HAS HAD YOUR BACK THIS WHOLE TIME#WHO HAS EVER LOOKED AFTER YOU IN THIS FUCKING FAMILY#god. i need to seeee that. don't just leave it hangin jesse i'm begging you bestie#but like he is soooo bpd it is actually insane. i shake his hand#also ''team kenro'' probably wasn't grea tfor him to hear adksjds#WDYM TEAM KENRO DONT YOU MEAN TEAM NERSPOR >:(((
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are you going to make gifsets of each semifinal's entries? or have you already posted something similiar?
I'm planning on making a few gifsets/edits for the semi finals but I'll probably only post them near the contest date
#I am not very ahead for the countdown series because I was away for a few days for a little vacation#so if I can do those faster I can also start on other things#the good news is that I'm gonna have more time to do them and to enjoy eurovision in general#the bad news is that my free time is because I'll be unemployed after next week yay#that was fun to find out after coming from vacation!#to be fair it would be equally or more fun (lol) to find out before so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#and ''it's gonna be fine'' because in theory I have ''potential to do better''#very annoying to be told that tbh my potential has led me nowhere of note#why do I even have to fulfill my potential anyway would that even make me happy#the science world doesn't need me!#I really don't need a high skilled job to be happy#(I wasn't let go because they weren't satisfied with my work my position will just cease to exist)#(which isn't totally surprising because they've been trying to phase it out for over a year now)#and now I have to find a new job?? in this economy??#what if the people are Bad#what if there isn't a cool middle-aged single woman for me to desperately want to befriend#and now I'm supposed to stay at home with my mom all day?? doing chores?? cooking lunch every day for my dad and brothers?? 🤢#I'm sorry rasmusiscute this is not the information you asked for#I will be making gifsets for the semifinals at some point#I'm not sure of anyone else has done already but I'm sure others will too
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#i am not doing well girlies#disclaimers that i am fine i'm always fine i will always be fine but hooo boy i do not feel fine lol#everything is always overwhelming i am always sad everything feels itchy#every single morning for weeks ive woken up with an anxiety bellyache and no matter how tired i am still i just have to get up#everyone i look up that i used to know is like. married and having babies or working their dream jobs and i just. im happy for them. i am#but where do i belong in all of this?#i know everything feels worse lately bc we're moving house and the routine changes and empty rooms feel Bad#plus my mom has not been doing well mentally which i feed off so it's just. you know#but will i ever Not feel like im so far behind? will i ever Not be deeply unsettled by even the mildest changes?#everything is so slow and so fast at the same time and it makes my head spin and we have a new friend who has a son my age and i was hoping#idk. that he'd be somewhat similar to me? falling behind a little bit too? maybe i could make a friend irl that understood a little?#but then i casually ask about him and oh no ofc he has a partner and family of his own etc etc#right. that's what i'm supposed to be doing at this age.ha#so many ppl i went to school with are married now. im turning the age this year that my mother was when she HAD me#meanwhile ive never even kissed anyone never even held a boy's hand never had any attention like that ever and#i wonder so often what it's like to be wanted by someone but ive never felt more undesirable#i cant imagine anyone looking at me and Wanting me. and at this point as romance obsessed as i am idk if i could even handle it#and the other night i was having anxiety dreams over the fact that i rly want kids but even waiting until im 30 thats only 5 years??#and 30 is already fucking five years away from being considered a GERIATRIC pregnancy?? but im not even done being a kid myself!!!!#and also who the fuck is gonna have a kid with me?? and who knows if i can even get pregnant when i rarely have a period ??#and i cant imagine not liiving with my mom and sister but does that mean i'll live with them forever??#will i be 30 35 40 45 still feeling like a kid? or worse.. will i not feel like myself at all?#will i be married to someone i dont love madly simply bc im so terrified to be alone?#or will i hold so tightly to my stories and fantasies that i will be alone bc nothing could ever live up to them?#will it even matter what i want? will anyone ever want me to even give me the option? or will this all stay hypothetical forever#im just. stressed. and i thought i'd be more by now.
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"Who's your new teacher?"
Synopsis: Toji meets Megumi's new preschool teacher and immediately develops a crush.
Pairings: single dad! toji x f! reader
Wc: 2.3K
Contains: plenty of fluff, crack, a tiny bit of angst, megumi is four, tsumiki is seven, toji is still toji (but like he's soft for his kids and he takes care of them), reader is a preschool teacher, reader and toji are around the same age, toji being soft, mentions of shiu, shiu and toji work together, shiu being an idiot (lol sorry he'll get love in another fic) , everyone is happy bc I said so
a/n: omg, first fic, we made it! barely proofread, sorry for mistakes. also, tysm for 1,000 followers here! the other two fics that were on that poll will be coming soon!
update: pt 2 here
-------------
Toji’s Fushiguro’s muscles ache. The job he took was harder than he anticipated, and it took way longer than it was supposed to. After confirming that the payment from the job is in his account, he calls Shiu Kong so he could check in on the kids. “About damn time,” Shiu scoffs when the line connects. “I was beginning to think I wouldn’t hear from you until sunrise.”
“Job’s done,” Toji says as he gets into his car, settling into the drivers’ seat with an exhausted sigh. “I hear the TV in the background. Better be cartoons or something age-appropriate.”
Shiu laughs. “Of course, what else? ‘M not getting cussed out by you. Anyway, you comin’ back with Megumi? Can’t believe you took him on the job with you. Once you’re back, I can get out of here.”
Toji’s heart nearly stops. He sits up in his seat, gripping the phone so hard that the screen nearly cracks from his strength. “The fuck did you just say?”
“Huh?”
“Megumi isn’t with you?!” Toji’s voice booms in the car. On the other line, he hears Shiu gulp. “I… I thought he was with you.”
“You idiot! I asked you to pick him up from preschool around the same time you pick up Tsumiki from her school because I knew this would take a while!”
“You did?!” Shiu asks, and then it goes quiet; him more than likely flipping through his messages to double check. “...Shit,” he breathes out.
Toji inhales sharply, then exhales shakily in an attempt to calm the rage, and even the fear that pools in his gut. “If anything has happened to my fucking son, Kong, I will murder you and make your death look like an accident. Keep an eye on Tsumiki.”
“Fushiguro, I swear, I-” Toji hangs up before Shiu can explain himself further, then he starts the car.
He grips the steering wheel hard, and his breathing picks up as his mind spins with every horrific scenario possible. The preschool closes at six thirty. It was close to nine. He didn’t see any missed calls from them. On a normal day, he’d be done before work with plenty of time to pick up his four year-old son, but today’s job was far more difficult and required more time.
The car speeds down the street leading to his destination. He’s half-expecting to see Megumi sitting outside with his backpack, clinging to his dog plushie and crying. Or worse, he’s not there at all; because this world is full of terrible people, and they won’t hesitate to steal a small, unsupervised boy. His heart aches at the thought, and he shoves it away before he feels the need to throw up. He’ll be okay, he thinks to himself. Everything is going to be fine.
—
When Toji arrives at the preschool, he rushedly parks lopsidedly in the lot, then exits the car. His eyes scan the steps leading up to the front, and when he doesn’t see Megumi outside, he rushes to the door.
He sees a security guard in a booth, and before Toji can even ask any questions, the guard gives him a small smile and nod, pressing a button that unlocks the door to the preschool with a click. Toji’s shoulders slump in relief. They were expecting him. That meant Megumi is still here and safe.
Toji nods back at the guard in thanks, and rushes down the dimly-lit hallway. He sees a light coming from a classroom that still has its door open, and he slows his steps when he hears a child giggling. His child.
Then it’s followed up by a beautiful, melodic laugh that makes him stop in his tracks. It’s a lovely sound; one that his heart skips to, and one that gently rings in his ears even plenty of seconds after it stops.
Toji peeks into the classroom to see Megumi comfortably resting in a pillow fort, and you, kneeling beside a lamp and using your hands to make shadow puppets on the wall to entertain him. “Alright,” you say softly as you rearrange your hands and fingers. “What’s this one?”
You smile as you watch Megumi hum thoughtfully, and Toji is transfixed by you. Who are you? Where did you come from? Since when did Megumi get a new teacher? Why is your smile so bright and so beautiful that the sun would envy? Why is his heart beating wildly in his chest at the sight of you? Fuck, why is he staring?
“Ooh!” Megumi gasps as he figures out the animal you made with your hands. “Rabbit!”
“Correct, great job!” You reach forward and give him a high-five. “I think you’ll really like this next one,” you say, and Megumi giggles again as he sits up, completely focused and ready to guess. “Ready?” You ask, and the boy nods.
Toji crosses his arms, quietly leans against the door of the classroom, and watches, unaware of the soft smile that creeps onto his face. When you put your hands in front of the light, and the shape of the animal displays in front of Megumi, he squeals excitedly and stands up. “Doggy!” He shouts with a wide grin and pulls up his favorite dog plushie that he takes with him everywhere, imitating the sounds a dog would make. You break out into laughter, and Toji nearly stops breathing so he can fully take in the sound of it again.
Beautiful, he thinks. You’re so fucking beautiful.
Megumi’s eyes flicker towards the door, and he gasps before running as fast as he can towards Toji. “Papa!”
“Hey, Megs.” Toji kneels down, hugs the small boy against his chest before picking him up in his strong arms, sighing in relief as he runs a hand through his dark hair. He’s okay, and he doesn’t look too upset that he was here for this long. “I’m so sorry I’m late. Are you alright?”
“Yeah!” Megumi pulls away, then gestures towards you, who watched the tender reunion with a sweet smile. “Ms. [Y/L/N] played so many fun games with me!”
“Aw, I’m so happy you had fun, Megumi.” You take a step closer so you’re standing in front of Toji, slightly lifting your head upward to meet his eyes due to his height. “We tried calling you, but your phone went straight to voicemail. Megumi said that it does that sometimes. He took a nap earlier, but I’m sure he’ll be sleepy soon after all of those games. I also gave him dinner earlier.”
“That’s… I just-” Toji struggles to find words, especially when you slightly tilt your head to the side and blink slowly. He exhales, then snaps himself out of his daze. “Thank you so much,” he says. “Are you new? I swear, I’m not usually this late.” Great. Megumi’s pretty teacher might think I’m just the worst parent on this damn planet.
You nod. “Yes, I’m new. Today was my first day with this angel,” You use a finger to gently boop Megumi’s nose, and he smiles, shyly burying his face into Toji’s shoulder, “and the other kids. I figured you might’ve been held up at work or something. It’s okay. Things happen. Besides, he’s such a well-behaved kid. I didn’t mind spending this much time with him.”
Toji places Megumi on the ground, then gently taps his shoulder. “Let’s grab your stuff, okay?” As he helps Megumi pack his backpack, Toji bites back a smile when he sees you watching him out of the corner of his eye. He notes the way you fiddle with your hands and avert your gaze after catching yourself.
You walk over to your desk and open a drawer, pulling out three suckers from a sealed jar. Once Megumi had all of his things packed, you kneel before him, handing him the suckers one by one. “Here you go. One for you, one for your sister, and one for your dad. I can tell he works really, really hard.”
Toji doesn’t hide his smile this time; it was impossible, especially when Megumi accepts them excitedly. “Candy! Thank you!” He hugs you gently, and you return it, rubbing your hand up and down his back. “You’re so welcome. Thanks for being so sweet today. You made my first day so fun.”
A muffled gasp coming from outside has the three of you looking towards the window. Toji sees Tsumiki’s face squished against the glass with her usual, excited smile, and Shiu Kong standing beside her, looking relieved when he sees Megumi safe and sound. He purposely avoids Toji’s glare.
The sound of Megumi’s small yawn gets his attention, and Toji’s gaze softens when the boy rubs his tired eyes. “Aw, ‘m sorry. It’s past your bedtime. Let’s get you home.” He leans down to pick him up again, and once you have your belongings, the two of you leave the building together.
When you three make it outside, you face Toji and Megumi. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Megumi,” you say quietly to him, who is slowly beginning to drift off. Then you look up at Toji, who is softly smiling at you. “And I’ll see you tomorrow, too, right?” You ask.
“Yeah, you will.”
You wave goodbye, and Toji makes sure you get into your car safely. “Hey, Megs,” Toji gently shakes Megumi as he watches you drive out of the parking lot. “Do you know her name?”
“Ms. [Y/L/N]”
He chuckles. “No, kid, her first name.”
“I dunno,” Megumi mumbles before closing his eyes and resting his cheek on Toji’s shoulder. “Sleepy, papa.”
“Ah, there they are!” Shiu exclaims, and Toji would’ve thrown a punch if his son wasn’t in his arms, and if his seven year-old daughter wasn’t happily skipping towards him. “Hi, papa!”
“Hi, sweets, how was school today?”
“Good,” Tsumiki says, then grins mischievously as she points to the spot where your car was just a minute ago. “You like her!” She teases. “You wanna hug her and kiss her and give her chocolates!”
“Alright, you.” Toji rolls his eyes and laughs softly as he uses his free arm to lift up a giggly Tsumiki, then presses a kiss to her forehead. “Both of you should be in bed. Let’s get home.”
“Aw, okay.” Tsumiki then leans forward to gently kiss her sleeping baby brother’s cheek. “Night, Gumi.”
Toji secures both Tsumiki and Megumi in his car, and then faces Shiu, who is smiling nervously. “Well, look at that. Megumi’s doing great and you even developed a crush. How cute. All’s well that ends well.”
“Very cute, but guess what?”
“What?”
Toji finally throws a swift punch at Shiu’s jaw, greatly holding back his strength so it wouldn’t break. Shiu stumbles, then groans, cupping his face with his hands. “Okay, fine, I deserved that.”
“Damn right,” Toji says as he opens the door to the driver’s seat. “See you later.”
—
Toji almost never stresses about his appearance in the mornings. After all, it was just dropping off the kids. But this morning, he frets over which shirt would look better with the jeans he picked out, if he should wear a different type of cologne, or if he should slick his hair back.
All because he’s seeing you again.
He decides to skip the new cologne and go for his usual, simple one, dresses in a dark shirt to match the jeans, and also ditches the idea of slicking his hair. Once the kids are ready for the day, he leaves early and goes to a coffee shop to pick up a medium cup of coffee. First, he drops Tsumiki off at school, then he takes Megumi to preschool.
Toji spots you almost immediately. You were out in the front amongst the other preschool teachers, parents and their kids, wearing a gorgeous yellow top and simple blue jeans. When you see Toji and Megumi approaching, you pause your conversation with your coworker and walk over to them. Toji decides that he likes that, and that he loves the way you kneel in front of Megumi to meet his eye level, telling him good morning and asking if he was excited for the day.
You raise to your feet, Toji hands you the cup of coffee he purchased earlier. “For you,” he says, “As a thank you for everything yesterday.”
“Aw.” Your eyes light up as you accept the cup. “Mr. Fushiguro, this—”
“Toji,” he corrects softly, and he ignores the way his heart stutters when your smile grows.
“Well, Toji, this is lovely. Thank you so much.”
“I never caught your name last night.”
You tell him your name, and Toji tests it once. From the way you shyly avert your gaze, he can tell you that like the way it sounds in his voice. Megumi clears his throat, and Toji looks down to see him staring up at him, his brow raised in suspicion. “You never stay this long. Don’t you have to go to work?”
Damn, kid. Thought we were on the same team.
You laugh as Toji rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at Megumi—a gesture that the four year-old returns immediately. “Well, he’s right, gotta get going,” Toji says, looking back up at you. “I’ll see you later?”
“Yes.” You nod, then point to the warm cup in your hands. “Thanks again for the coffee. Have a great day at work.”
“You too.” Toji then gently ruffles Megumi’s hair. “Be good.”
He doesn’t realize how big he’s smiling until he’s back in the car, and he sighs as he remembers Shiu’s words from the night before. A crush. That word seems so silly. He’s not a teen in high school. Toji looks up just in time to watch you take Megumi’s hand and lead him inside the building with the other children, and he chuckles to himself as he starts the car up.
Maybe “silly” was okay when you’re this pretty.
#i love soft toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushigro x reader#toji x reader#jjk#jjk fluff#toji fluff#posts by rey <3#written by rey <3#jujutsu kaisen
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✭INFAMOUS UPDATE IS HERE ✭
238K -> 457K WORDS
Please read this post before playing! It's finally here! After five months of writing and rewriting and salvaging and crying and sweating and bleeding I finally finished sort of kind of! Firstly, I want to thank you for your patience and understanding over this duration of this rewrite. It was stressful at times but I'm happy with the end result and I hope everyone else will be too :)
This will be the last chapter I release without beta testers/other sets of eyes so expect errors. I can playtest until my fingers turn blue but I'm just one person </3 I'm bound to have missed stuff.
Please let me know of errors! I tested it a few times with no problems but we know how it goes lol
IN THIS CHAPTER THREE UPDATE:
drama
mayhem
chaos
some betrayal
some surprises
just...read it lmao
PROLOGUE - CHAPTER 2 CHANGES:
**chapter two was too large of a file to upload on dd so I had to split it last minute and I uhhhh dont know how that translates in the demo but it should work lol please let me know if its wonky!**
fixed up grammatical errors and typos
expanded some scenes and added some more choices
you can now choose that your mc has "changed" in some way (drinking, no longer drinking, partier, no longer a partier, negative, positive, attached, detached, or a general default. I was asked to add an MC who "gets around" or hookups a lot but I'm still debating on whether I'll add that since there's already quite a bit lolol)
you can choose to have changed your band's genre before/after seven
TECHNICAL CHANGES:
you will be able to explicitly state your sexuality in the beginning. this was a big ask and I apologize for not doing it earlier! I wasn't good at coding when I started and I knew I always wanted to make the genders separate from MC's sexuality but I didn't know how to do that at the start :) So you can still choose the genders of the ROs for story purposes and variety. IF YOU DO NOT SEE ROMANCE OPTIONS THAT IS NOT A BUG. You simply chose a RO gender that doesn't correlate with the sexuality you chose for your MC. Having said that, if you do see a romance option available and it's not supposed to be there please let me know! That means I may have missed it coding-wise.
the stats have been all fixed! I've added all the necessary variables and such. The stat portion of the game has been updated with the appropriate pages but they're not finished. Still, the stats should be fine.
You will now have confessionals in the stat page! The feature still isn't a thing yet because I haven't come up with the confessionals lolol but you can click on it to see what it's about. Essentially, as you progress through the story you will be able to see confessionals from the cast of Infamous throughout. They disappear and appear periodically so if you miss it, THAT'S IT! You won't get a chance to see them again until MC watches an episode where it's relevant.
There is now a: Discography page, Infamous wiki, botb cast and staff page, and other characters page for organization. Those are not finished but they're there!
I changed a few stat names but their functions remain the same.
You will be able to choose how you would like to be described (masculine, feminine, neither, both).
O is officially gender-selectable.
You can set the genders of the ROs at the start or wait till you meet them.
PLAY HERE
#update#ch 2 is super cursed by the way#so big it couldn't upload on dd#had to move the variables#was ripping my hair out#infamous update
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Hat Guy's ASMR Commissions: S Tier | [Scaramouche/Wanderer x Reader]
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Summary: Subject: Your Commission For [Guided Masturbation Audio - 30 minute session] In which your asshole best friends order a commission from your favorite ASMR artist, and it's a lot more NSFW than you were expecting. "From this moment on, you’re going to follow my directions. I’d say “if you fail to, you’ll be punished” but we both know you’re probably just another people pleaser who will do whatever I say, as long as you know it will make me happy. But fair warning–I won’t be happy until you’re so fucked out you can’t speak a coherent word.” Content: Smut, Guided Masturbation, Toy Use, Name Calling, Degradation/Humiliation, fem!reader Word Count: 6.5k Note: this is kind of an untraditional smut, so just keep that in mind lol
“Sweetheart…you really need to find some way to relax.”
“I agree. If you don’t release your tension, it’ll do a number on your health.”
You really appreciate Lisa and Yae being so concerned for you, but…
“I know. It’s just…not that easy for me.”
By now, in theory, you should have figured out some better coping mechanisms and ways to destress, but alas.
Taking a book from the return bin, Lisa scans it, and then places it onto the go-back cart.
“Well, have you tried getting off?”
Her suggestion makes you jerk, your head swiveling as you glance around the library to see if anyone nearby has overheard. At your side, Yae giggles.
“Calm down…finals have just ended. No one is in the library anymore—they’re out partying.”
You sigh.
You suppose she’s right. The only reason you three are here is because Lisa is working the closing shift, and because Yae had insisted that you come along to the library with her to keep Lisa company.
“Traditional porn, a good adult novel, ASMR—all would be good options,” Lisa continues.
“I’m not really into porn right now, and I don’t think I have the bandwidth to focus on a book,” you say, resting your cheek in your palm. “As for ASMR…I’m not a big fan. I’ve really only discovered one creator that I like…”
“Oh?”
Now that piques their interest.
“What’s their name?”
“He goes by “Hat Guy” on twitter,” you tell them. “He mostly just…posts audio responses to dumb takes, or makes ASMR mocking other ASMR trends, but his voice is nice, and he has a small fan base…despite him kind of being a little shit.”
“How cute,” Lisa laughs while Yae pulls out her phone.
“Well, then…since it sounds like he doesn’t have any relaxing content, maybe you should just go home and take a nice bath. Did you ever use that bath bomb I got you for your birthday?”
“No,” you mumble sheepishly. At your side, Yae taps your knee.
“Lisa is right. Go home and have a bath. I’ll keep her company until she’s done.”
You raise your eyebrows in surprise.
“Are you sure…? I just got here like half an hour ago and now you want me to go home?”
“I just think some “you” time would be good,” she tells you with a smile. You pout your lips, but ultimately decide that…maybe she’s right.
“Fine, I’ll head home and rest, then.”
“Good girl,” Yae responds, patting your ass when you bend over to grab your backpack. You narrow your eyes at her, but aren’t truly mad.
“Be careful on your walk home~,” Lisa says as you start towards the exit. You wave at them both over your shoulder, and then leave the building.
A few seconds after your departure, Lisa turns to Yae.
“Alright, what did you find that you didn’t want Y/N to know about?”
Yae grins, loving that Lisa has already caught on.
“Look—”
She gets up from her seat and leans over to show Lisa her phone screen.
“I found Hat Guy’s twitter and saw that he’s accepting commissions, and look at one of the options~”
She points to something, and Lisa’s eyes hurriedly scan the text in front of her.
When she has finished reading, she grins.
“Oh, my…well, that’s certainly tempting.”
“I was thinking maybe we can give it to Y/N as a… “you survived finals! Use this to relax” type present. Since she’s always doing thoughtful things for us when we’re swamped.”
Lisa smiles, putting a thoughtful finger to her lips.
“I agree. She’s brought us so many cups of tea over the last few months. It’s the least we can do.”
“Good,” Yae says with a nod, immediately clicking on the commission link.
“She deserves a little…fun.”
Between the end of the previous semester, and the start of the new one, your University has generously given you a long weekend.
4 days, to be exact.
Most of this long weekend you spend doing the chores you’ve put off, and working a few shifts at your job.
It’s only by some grace that you end up with Sunday off. One final day to try and relax before classes begin tomorrow…
You do your best to make the most of it—mindlessly scrolling tiktok, folding some clothes, debating if you should order food out, and ultimately deciding against it, since you just went grocery shopping…
All in all, it’s a pretty mundane day.
…at least, until the icon for your email app appears at the top of your phone screen, and you swipe down the notification to see the title:
Subject: Your Commission For [Guided Masturbation Audio - 30 minute session]
Immediately, you freeze.
Surely, this is a spam email that’s somehow made it through the cracks. Because you definitely haven’t ordered such a thing.
Yet, despite your doubts at the validity of the email, you still click on it—wanting to read the contents before banishing it to your spam folder.
Dear Recipient,
Attached to this email is an mp3 file available for you to download. This file was requested and paid for by “Fox and Witch”, and is being sent to you directly at their request.
Please do not distribute this anywhere else on social media, as this is my copyrighted content.
If there is any issue with the quality of the file, please let me know.
Have fun.
-Hat Guy
Note:
Toys Needed = Dildo, Clitoral Vibrator or Wand
…you must have knocked your head on something earlier and are currently hallucinating.
Because there is NO WAY there’s an email from HAT GUY in your inbox. And that said email is for…for…
Well, you remember seeing a link on his profile about commissions, but you’d never clicked on it to see more than that. There’s no chance he’s out here telling people how to get off, though, right…?
With a warm face, you scan the email again. And then a third time.
You can only assume “Fox and Witch” are Yae and Lisa. And you did just tell them that you like Hat Guy’s content…
You bite your lip, staring at the mp3 file.
There’s just no way…
Hesitantly, you click on it.
“Hmph. You must be really desperate if your friends were willing to pay for a half hour of my time. Most people are satisfied with 10-15 minutes, but no…they knew you’d need longer than that.”
Oh…fuck.
Something in your tummy flips.
That’s him, alright.
You’ve never heard him talk like that before, but it’s definitely him…you could never mistake that haughty, belittling tone.
Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, your gaze once again finding the title of the email.
Guided Masturbation.
If you’re not wrong, that means if you hit play, and keep listening, it’ll probably be a lot of Hat Guy telling you what to do…how to touch yourself.
Just thinking about such a thing makes more blood rush to your head—embarrassment blooming in your chest.
Sure, the idea of him bossing you around isn’t exactly unappealing. You’re sure he’d be…less than nice, and maybe even a little sadistic, and perhaps call you a few rude names, but—
You groan and place your phone face down on the table beside you.
“Nope, I can’t—I—”
Standing up from your couch, you trudge into your kitchen.
It’s dinner time—you need to make dinner.
You try to keep your thoughts from straying to your temporarily abandoned phone, and the email that’s sitting in your inbox—but it’s literally impossible.
Still, you manage to cook yourself a meal, and even partake in a little alcoholic drink. (Just because you’re treating yourself, and definitely not because you want to ease your nerves a bit.)
Once you’ve finished eating, you clean all your dishes, and then return to the couch. Your gaze strays to your phone, but you don’t pick it up—instead deciding to grab the TV remote.
You make it approximately 25 minutes into a movie before you can’t take it anymore.
Hitting the pause button, you throw the remote on the couch beside you and then snatch up your phone—alighting from the couch.
You grab your headphones on the way to your bedroom, and pop them into your ears only after you’ve gathered your dildo and vibrator.
Maybe this audio won’t be as hot as you’re assuming, and you’ll end up not wanting to touch yourself, but…better to have everything prepared just in case, right?
Taking a deep breath, you hit play.
The track restarts from the beginning.
“Hmph. You must be really desperate if your friends were willing to pay for a half hour of my time. Most people are satisfied with 10-15 minutes, but no…they knew you’d need longer than that.”
“I also hear you’re quite the little masochist—but I could have assumed that, considering it’s me that you’re soaking your panties over. Just another slut who wants to be bullied, huh.”
You huff at his words, glaring at your phone screen.
Did Lisa and Yae tell him your kinks or something?? Those bitches.
“Well, you’re in luck, because from this moment on, you’re going to follow my directions. I’d say “if you fail to, you’ll be punished” but we both know you’re probably just another people pleaser who will do whatever I say, as long as you know it will make me happy.”
Dammit, why is he right—
“But fair warning—I won’t be happy until you’re so fucked out you can’t speak a coherent word.”
With a shaking finger, you pause the audio.
You hate to admit it, but his words—the way he’s speaking to you—is already making you wet.
You really, truly want him to bully you, and use you like a little toy.
So, guess that means you’re doing this.
Throwing any caution and shame to the wind, you hit the play button again.
“Now…where to begin? I always like to start with an inspection. Take off your clothes, but leave your panties on. I’m not going to bid your needy pussy any attention just yet.”
You obediently do as he says, stripping yourself of your clothing until you’re left only in your panties.
“It’s unfortunate I’m not there to survey those titties in person, so you’ll just have to feel them up for me. Go ahead and grope yourself. Take a minute and massage your chest…I want to see if you’ll get wet from that alone. Although, you’re probably wet already just from my voice, aren’t you, slut?”
You click your tongue at that last part, (hating that he’s right), but nonetheless bring your hands to your chest.
You cup your titties, and begin squeezing them—feeling the soft flesh beneath your fingers.
“Good, keep going—squeeze a little harder now. Ah…I bet your nipples want to be touched, huh? Start teasing them, then—just enough to get them hard. I’ll give you 10 seconds—that should be enough.”
For some reason, the challenge of accomplishing a task within a certain time limit makes your pussy throb, and very quickly, you move your pointer fingers over your nipples—rubbing them lightly, and coaxing them to a peak.
You’re ashamed to admit it, but they manage to get hard in the 10 second pause he gives you…
“Wow, look at that…what greedy titties you have—responding as I say, eager to be played with. Pinch your nipples and roll them between your fingers. Find the motion that feels best, and do it over and over again, until I tell you to stop.”
Resting your breasts in your palms, you pinch your nipples between your fingers—rolling and tugging them.
Your eyes flutter shut as you touch yourself, each purposeful little tweak of your nipples causing your spine to twitch, and your pussy to clench.
It’s been too long since you’ve touched yourself like this…
By the time Hat Guy’s voice fills your ears once more, your nipples have started to get sore.
“Okay, stop there. I bet your cunt has started quivering, but I hope you know it’ll still be a while before I give you the chance to cum…unless, you somehow managed to orgasm from playing with just your titties? If that’s the case, congratulations! You’re the most needy and pathetic whore I’ve played with. So pathetic that I’ll give you a pass, and won’t even punish you for cumming without permission.”
The thought of being able to cum from nipple play alone makes you feel even more aroused, much to your chagrin—
“Now, let’s inspect that dirty pussy of yours. Spread your legs, and pull your panties down to your knees. I want you to stare at the crotch of your panties and feel ashamed at the wet spot I know is there.”
Taking a deep breath, you hook your fingers around your panties and tug them down your thighs.
As you spread your feet apart, you end up staring at the crotch of your panties—your lips pressing together when you notice there is, indeed, a very noticeable wet spot.
“Next, bend over. As low as you can go, with your legs still apart. I want to see everything.”
Locking your fingers together, you hesitate for a brief second before you bend over—feeling a strain in your leg muscles as you hit the point where you can’t bend anymore.
In this position, you know that you’re on full display.
“Look at you, presenting yourself to me…you really don’t have any shame, do you? If I were there, I’d be grabbing you and forcing you open wider, but since I’m not, you can do it for me! Grab your ass cheeks with both hands, and spread.”
Breathing a little shakily, you do your best to reach behind you and spread yourself. You feel your asshole clench as you do so, and the involuntary action maddens you, considering Hat Guy’s next words are—
“Such a tight little hole…I bet it’s twitching.”
“Is it nervous, or hoping for an intrusion? Either way, anal is not the objective of today’s session, so let’s move back to your pussy. Go ahead and spread your folds with your hand. You have permission to bend over with your chest to your bed, if you feel your blood rushing to your head from bending down so low. And if you're not by your bed…where the fuck are you listening to this audio? In your car, or a bathroom stall? Pervert.”
That little quip at the end makes you smile, even as you stand up and move yourself to your bed.
You find it a little endearing how he’s bossing you around, but still managing to be somewhat considerate. You suppose maybe there is more to him than just being a brat on the internet.
Anyway—
Reaching one hand back between your legs, you slide your fingers between the folds of your pussy and spread them—opening yourself up as if he were there to inspect you.
“Now, rub your fingers at your entrance—feel how slick you’ve gotten…honestly, you should feel ashamed. Getting so wet for a no-face internet stranger.”
Sure, your panties were a little wet, but that doesn’t mean—
You move your fingers to your entrance—freezing at the amount of sticky arousal you feel.
You...honestly can’t remember the last time you’ve gotten this wet.
“Smear the slick around your pussy, and make sure to get your clit. That’s where we’re headed next.”
You do as he says, perhaps a smidge overly excited that you now seem to be entering the main course.
As your fingers ghost over your clit, your pussy shudders.
“Bet you just clenched in excitement, huh?”
How does he fucking know—?!
“I'll be nice and will let you use two fingers. Press the pads of your fingers to your clit, and start making circular motions. Slow. 1…2…3…just like that.”
Breathing deep, you begin rubbing your clit with your fingers—repeating his count in your head, and following his pace.
With each pass of your fingers, your walls squeeze tighter.
“You probably want to rush, or grind your hips on your fingers…but you shouldn't be acting so desperate just yet, so be a good girl and keep going.”
Huffing, you obey his command,
He goes silent for a few beats, really giving you a minute to continue hopelessly teasing yourself.
By the time he next speaks, a needy exhale is leaving your lips—heady arousal truly being to pool in your lower tummy.
“Now you can go faster. Rub your clit to the beat of your heart. I assume it's racing, so you should be moving your hand a bit faster than before.”
You haven’t really noticed before now, but your heart is certainly beating much faster than normal…
The steady, yet swift thump of your heart is felt throughout your body the more you focus on it, and you quickly adjust your pace.
A breathy little sigh leaves your lips—your brows pinching together.
You want to cum.
“I wonder if you're close already, just from your fingers on your clit…haha. If you are, remember—you don't get to cum until I say so. So if you're close to cumming, edge yourself. Get right to the edge of your orgasm, and then stop. I'll give you 10 seconds after that to collect yourself, but then you have to keep going.”
Oh, fuck…
You suppose you should have realized that edging might be part of the equation, especially during a 30 minute session.
And, unfortunately, the thought of edging yourself for him makes you even hornier—pushing you closer to your first climax—or, well, edge.
“I bet you're probably thinking that 10 seconds isn't very long…that when you start again, you'll still be right at the brink of your orgasm, and will have to keep edging over, and over…hah, well…that's your own fault for being so hopeless.”
“Now, I'll let you set the pace. Find the rhythm and motion against your clit that makes you feel the best…you're going to keep that up for 1 minute—and remember, no cumming.”
Dammit—
By now, your lips are fully parted—quick little breaths fanning in front of your face and warming the sheets of your mattress.
You don’t want to edge, you want to cum, but he won’t let you—
“Also, why don't you go ahead and count aloud? I assume you're in private, so it shouldn't be an issue to let out your voice. And if you're not, well…I guess people will get to hear what a debauched whore you are.”
If this were 10 minutes ago, you’d surely blush and hesitate to follow his command.
But now…now you’re a little closer to being the debauched whore he’s calling you.
“I'll count with you so you don't rush it. 60…59…58…57—”
With headphones in, you hear your own voice in your head—mingling with his.
His, unwavering, with a hint of mockery. Yours…quiet, and struggling to stay on beat.
You clit throbs beneath your fingers, and there’s a familiar flutter of your walls, despite your pussy currently being empty.
You’re getting close.
“I can only imagine how sinful you look right now…oh, right. Where was I? Hmm…let's just pick up from 30.”
Motherfucker—
You let your face drop into your sheets, your thighs tightening and knees shaking.
Fuck, you wanna cum. You know you can’t—know it’s not allowed yet, but—!
“5…4…3…2…1. Stop moving your hand.”
Perfect timing. Right at the edge of an orgasm—you pull your hand away.
You take a second to try and catch your breath while ignoring the unfulfilled ache between your legs.
“Your pussy must be throbbing, huh? Lucky for you, as your benevolent master, I’ll let you stuff it full. Grab your dildo and get on your bed on your knees.”
“Also, I assume you're soaked by now, but if not, and you need additional lubrication, use lube.”
You glance behind you at your dresser, where your bottle of lube sits, but ultimately don’t grab it.
By now, you’re sure you can do without.
Grabbing your dildo, you climb onto your bed, and obediently get on your knees.
“Now, sit up and position the dildo beneath you. Rub the head between your folds, and then settle it at your entrance.”
You do as he says—a shiver of excitement raking up your spine as the tip of your dildo unexpectedly flicks against your clit while you get it into position.
“I'm going to give you 3 seconds to take it fully inside of you…What? I did say we'll be stuffing you full, and with how needy you clearly are, I figured I'm doing you a favor by letting you take it all in!”
Oh. That’s—
“So, I'll count to three. Oh, and if your dildo is too big, and you're scared to sink down onto it all at once, well…that's your own fault for biting off more than you can chew. But, I'm sure that greedy pussy will take anything it can get.”
It will.
“Ready?”
You take a trembling breath.
“3, 2, 1—!”
In one swift motion, you spread your thighs and sink down onto the dildo.
When the head bumps against the deepest part of you, you can’t help but gasp—the sound positively lewd.
“Ahhh…fuck. You made a cute sound, didn't you? How precious…now you're stuffed to the brim with dick, as you should be.”
Yes, this is exactly how you’re meant to feel…just a little slut who will do anything to cum for him.
Yet, despite his harsh instructions, he seems to pause for a second, giving you a chance to acclimate to the intrusion.
How cute.
“Why don't we start slow…I want you to lift your hips until just the tip of the dildo is inside of you, and then grind back down on it. Up…and down…up—”
To aid in the motion, you place your hands flat on the mattress in front of you, and then begin moving your hips.
Up…and down…
Your walls clench around the dildo, practically begging for more, but the man currently using you as his personal toy clearly isn’t inclined to give you such a thing.
At least, not immediately.
If you had to guess, he makes you continue at this slow, teasing pace for at least 2 minutes—your muscles beginning to strain as you resist going any faster.
Then, his voice fills your ears once again. You nearly sigh with relief.
“I hope your thighs aren't burning yet, because now we're going to pick up the pace. Imagine the gallop of a horse's hooves. I want you to grind on each downbeat. No need to make big motions—just grind on your dildo how you'd grind your pussy on my cock if I was there.”
If he were here, you’d wanna grind on his dick until he’s moaning louder than you are—
“Fuck…”
Fingers curling into the sheets, you find your new rhythm—the sound of your wet pussy beginning to fill the quiet room outside your headphones.
Sweat starts to bead on your brow—the arousal inside of you searing hotter, and your muscles getting tighter.
“I wonder if you can cum from internal stimulation alone…try to find your g-spot if you haven't already. I want you to bully it with your dildo.”
You can practically hear the grin in his words.
Repositioning yourself, you find the angle that better allows you to rub that sensitive little spot inside you.
Almost immediately, a whine rips from your throat.
“Now…I'm going to issue you a challenge. I'll count down from 60 seconds again. During that 60 seconds, you're free to cum. So try your best, okay, slut?”
Please, you want to cum, but you don’t know if 60 seconds will be enough—
“60…59…58…”
Dammit—
With his challenge invigorating you, you continue messily grinding your hips.
Each pass of your dildo against your g-spot causes your pussy to shiver, and your thighs to shake—your orgasm creeping closer.
“33…32…31…”
A desperate sound slips past your lips, your eyebrows knitting together.
You want to cum.
You want to cum.
You want to cum, but—
You drop down onto your dildo roughly, almost in a pouting manner.
You need more time.
As soon as your climax finally begins to build—your walls clenching down on your dildo—Hat Guy reaches the end of his countdown.
“3…2…1…so…did you cum? Either way, I'm sure your legs are shaking. I wouldn't doubt that your sheets are getting soiled by your arousal, either.”
“Well, whether you came or not, don't worry—there's still more opportunities to orgasm yet to come! That being said, set your dildo to the side, and grab your vibrator instead.”
Exhaling, you manage to lift up your hips, and your dildo slips out of you.
It flops onto your sheets, glistening with your arousal.
Your pussy mourns the loss.
Setting your dildo to the side, you grab your vibrator instead.
“You can go ahead and lay on your back. I'll give your knees a break…isn't that nice of me? You should say “thank you”.”
You clench your jaw as you roll onto your back, your eyes squinting at the ceiling.
There’s no way he’s serious, right? Counting is one thing, but thanking someone who isn’t here?
“Huh? Did you think that was just a suggestion? Go on.”
You wet your lips with your tongue.
“...thank you.”
There’s a brief second of silence, and then—
“...pfft, hahaha! If you actually did just say it aloud, you're more of an obedient people pleaser than I thought. What a precious little cock-sleeve.”
You want to punch him—
“Anyway, I haven't let you cum from your clit yet. I bet by now it's engorged and begging for attention…go ahead and put your vibrator on your clit. Turn it on low.”
The fact that even just touching your clit causes you to jolt proves that his words are correct.
Hitting the power button, you turn your vibrator on a low setting, and almost instantly—the orgasm that had started to fade away flares back to life.
“Good…I'll let you keep it there for a little while. Actually…I'm gonna go get some water. God knows how upset you'd be if my voice suddenly gave out and I couldn't give you permission to cum—”
You hear the sound of a chair being alighted from, and footsteps padding away from the mic.
“This little motherfucker—,” you pant, your chest heaving.
You gently rub your vibrator around your clit—hoping that doing so will help you delay the orgasm that’s building—but it’s impossible to avoid.
After another minute, you can’t put it off any longer.
Your body tenses, your pussy tightening, and—
You tear the vibrator away from your clit.
If he were here, you think you’d honestly start to beg him for mercy. Of course, you’re sure he’d say that’s practically your first true edge, and you’re just being a little baby, but still.
You start the countdown from 10 in your head, and once it’s done, put your vibrator back on your clit.
Your entire body jolts as the pleasure that had been denied snaps back to attention.
You’re gonna have to edge again—
“How are you holding out? Did you edge at all—just from the vibrator being on low? At the very least, I bet you're squirming and panting.”
“Now, listen closely. I'm going to make you an offer.”
If his offer involves you cumming, you’ll do whatever it takes.
“I'm going to let you cum with the vibrator still on low—assuming you can. This time I'll be generous and will give you 90 seconds, even. But here's the catch. At the end of this session, you will be cumming. So if your begging cunt blots out any logic in your brain, and you decide to cum now, and then feel it's “too much” later, well. That'll be your own fault. Even if you're overstimulated, you'll be cumming again, so choose wisely.”
“Either way, you need to keep the vibrator on your clit for another 90 seconds. You just need to decide if you're cumming or edging. Get ready. To spice it up, this time I'm not counting aloud—I'll just tell you when to stop. So if you're planning on cumming, try not to waste any time. Because if I say stop and you're right there, I doubt you’ll be very happy. Now, begin.”
Risking an overstimulated orgasm after this is a dangerous game, but—
You press the vibrator harder against your clit.
You need to cum—you don’t care about anything else right now.
Your free hand grabs at your breast—your toes curling, and your heart racing.
Your back arches off the bed, a symphony of miniscule whines and gasps falling from your lips.
Then, the tension inside of you reaches its limit, and snaps.
Your voice catches in your throat—your body spasming as waves of pleasure rock you.
You keep the vibrator on your clit to draw them out as long as you can, but after a few long beats, Hat Guy’s voice fills your ears once again.
“Stop—that's time. So…did you cum? I wish I could see the state of you…I bet you're starting to look all fucked out. We're already at the 20 minute mark, after all.”
You can’t believe it’s already been 20 minutes. Yet, at the same time, can’t believe you’re not already closer to the end.
“Now, I did say you'd be cumming again, so why don't you go ahead and put your vibe on high? Let's try and force it out of you.”
It’s fine…it’s totally fine.
Turning your vibrator on high will be totally fine.
You move the toy back to your clit and push the button until the vibrations are much more intense than before.
Almost immediately, heat rushes through your body—stemming from the still recovering nerve ending on your clit.
You’re over-sensitive. Fuck.
And yet…your pussy still flutters—your muscles tensing once again as another orgasm begins to build.
“Ahh, I bet you're squirming like a pathetic little worm. Is it too much? Do you want to beg me to let you stop?”
“Your toes are curling, aren't they? I wish I could hear you and see you panting like a bitch in heat. Should I throw you a bone? Would that satisfy that sad cunt of yours?”
You are writhing, and panting, and every other filthy thing he’s pegged you as. But—you don’t want to stop. You’re too far in now—your whole body shaking, and your breaths coming quick as the vibrator on your clit overwhelms you.
It’s overwhelming, but you can’t stop chasing that high. You—
“Actually…that's not a bad idea. Stop—now.”
Despite not wanting to, you immediately yank the toy away.
You hear yourself whining, unable to help it.
“Hopefully you didn't cum in the last 30 seconds. If so…whoops~”
You wish you could kick him.
“This final orgasm is going to be our grand finale, so we should really let the sparks fly. And maybe your juices, depending on how hard you cum.”
“Grab your dildo—shove it in.”
You scramble to grab it—your arm darting to the side to recover the dildo you’d discarded a short while ago.
As soon as you have it, you spread your legs and press the head at your entrance—stuffing it in without any preamble.
A pleasant sigh leaves you as that full feeling returns.
“You're going to fuck yourself with it—however fast or slow, I don't care. And at the same time, turn your vibrator back on high.”
You can tell where this is going, and you honestly think it may kill you, but you follow his instructions nonetheless.
Turning the vibrator on high, you place it back on your clit and then begin fucking yourself with the dildo.
Almost immediately, involuntary sounds slip out of you—your body writhing against the sheets.
The overwhelming strength of your vibrator on your clit now partnered with the messy rubbing of your dildo between your walls…you’re truly becoming the mess he promised to make you.
“Oh, and just so things don't end too soon, you need to hold out for at least one minute. I'll let you know once you have permission to cum.”
You hardly think it’s fair that he’s saying this now, considering you’ve already started fucking yourself, but even so, you want to listen—want to be a good girl who does what he says, and only cums when permitted.
Holding out for a whole minute when your cunt is already starting to spasm—your clit feeling like it’s on fire—is certainly going to be a challenge, though.
“You know…I bet if this were a live call, I'd be able to hear how wet your pussy is. You're probably gripping onto that dildo so tightly…as if it's a real cock that you're begging to properly breed you.”
If he were here you wonder how he’d fuck you. Certainly hard enough that you’d be able to hear the slap of his balls against your pussy—
“You must be panting, huh? So ready to cum…I wonder if you’d be obedient enough to cum when I say. Why don’t we try? We’re getting close to a minute, after all.”
Oh, fuck.
You’ve never cum on command before, but you want to for him.
“C’mon, princess, I know you can do it…keep going…get yourself right there—”
Your chest shudders, and tears blot your eyes.
You’re trying. Everything feels so hot.
The arousal in your tummy swells—tightening up, and searing your insides.
“Cum.”
A sob rips from your chest, and you grind your dildo against your g-spot one final time, before your body obeys, and releases.
With the vibrator on high, this orgasm is much more intense than the last.
Your breath catches, your spine curving, and your hand releases the dildo in favor of grabbing onto your sheets for dear life.
Despite the clamping of your pussy around the silicone cock, it still manages to slip out of you after a few seconds—flopping onto your mattress, and poking wetly against your ass.
When the pleasure on your clit starts to turn to pain—you finally tear the vibrator away. You turn it off, and weakly discard it onto the bed beside you.
Despite no longer having any toys in or on you, your cunt and clit continue to twitch with aftershocks.
You take a deep breath.
Hat Guy is still talking in your ears, but your brain is too scrambled to process what he’s saying. So, you just continue to lay there until his words sound more like words again.
“Alright, you must have cum by now. Take a minute to breathe. And when you’re done catching your breath, make sure you get up and go pee, and then get some water. Because I’m not about to be liable for any after-effects of this session.”
Despite being exhausted, you can’t help but quietly laugh.
“Good job making it through. I’m sure we’ll meet again soon…mostly because I’m sure you’ll be opening this file again to get off to, haha.”
“Later~”
The audio ends.
You lay there, staring at the ceiling.
Then, you roll onto your side, slowly get up, and head for the bathroom.
Can’t let Hat Guy be liable for you, after all.
The following morning, you wake up with sore muscles, and a determination to go and beat up Yae Miko and Lisa Minci about their “gift”.
Yeah, maybe you are a little less tense than before, and the stress that had been clinging to you after the end of the previous semester is now gone, but still. They deserve a good scolding.
First, however, you have to go to your 9AM lecture. After that, you’ll have time to run to the library.
Despite the soreness in your thighs, you manage to trek across campus and make it to your class with time to spare. You chose a seat somewhere in the middle, and then set your bag down in the chair beside you.
With nothing to work on yet, considering today’s the first day, you entertain yourself with social media apps on your phone as the lecture hall slowly continues filling up.
When there’s only a minute left before the class is set to start, there’s a tap on your shoulder.
Startled, realizing they’ve probably been trying to get your attention, you immediately take out one of your headphones. Before you can even turn to face them and apologize, they’re talking.
Except…the voice of the person beside you is…eerily familiar. Scratchy, attractive, and perhaps a little annoyed—
“Do you mind moving your bag? There aren’t very many seats left.”
Without saying a word, too stunned to speak, you reach over and move your bag to the floor at your feet. The man grunts, and takes a seat beside you.
As he pulls out his laptop, you finally build up the courage to look at him.
Dark hair and eyes to match…slim fingers, but veiny hands…a black shirt and oversized jacket—
“Do you need something?”
Oh, fuck—you’ve been openly staring.
Your eyes meet his for the first time, and you open your mouth, but no words come out. The beat of your heart starts to get faster.
He cocks an unimpressed eyebrow at you.
“What? Cat got your tongue?”
This is just too much—there’s no fucking way this is happening—
Unfortunately, before you can finally pull it together and try to redeem yourself, your professor takes the podium at the head of the room.
“Class! Welcome! While it might be a little unconventional to start the semester out on this note, I just want you all to know in advance: this class will heavily rely on cooperation with others. There will be many team projects. In fact—the person you’re sharing a table with will be your project partner for the whole semester!”
…what.
Beside you, the man sighs—clearly unhappy to hear about there being group projects, or you being his partner, or both.
“Great, looks like we’re stuck together.”
“Yep…,” you mumble in response, the first word you’ve managed to speak since his arrival.
He obviously notices, because his lips pull into a teasing little grin, his eyes remaining trained on your still-speaking professor as he whisper—
“Oh, would you look at that? She speaks.”
Your pussy clenches.
Mhmm, yep!
You’re gonna go jump off a bridge.
#genshin smut#genshin x reader#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche smut#genshin impact x reader#wanderer x reader#bean fic#genshin fanfic
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Drunken
featuring. ekko x reader
happy turkey holidays 🦃
note. when reading this imagine the boom sound effect everything ekko says something unhinged. (lol)
Lights from flickering neon signs bathed the streets in hues of green and purple, casting eerie shadows along the broken walls and uneven pathways. Ekko sat perched on a ledge high above the chaos, his feet dangling lazily as if he didn’t care if he slipped and fell. He often came here to think, to escape. Tonight, though, his solitude was broken by the sound of approaching footsteps. It was yours.
“Hey,” you greeted, your voice softer than usual but edged with something he couldn’t place. You were wrapped in the jacket he’d given you, its fabric worn but warm against the chill of Zaun’s smog-filled night.
Ekko glanced over his shoulder, his face unreadable in the half-light. “What do you want?” His tone wasn’t harsh, but it wasn’t welcoming either.
You frowned, hesitating for a moment before stepping closer. “I just… I wanted to see you. You’ve been distant lately.”
“Yeah? Maybe I had a reason.” He swung his legs, his sneakers catching the dim light as he stared out at the cityscape.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you snapped, your patience fraying at the edges. “I’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong, Ekko. You’ve been shutting me out—”
“Maybe you’re the problem,” he interrupted sharply, turning to face you now. His eyes were hard, a rare thing for someone who usually carried so much warmth. “You don’t get it, do you? You’re always here, always around, like… like you think I owe you something.”
The words hit like a punch to the gut. You stepped back, your breath hitching. “I’m clingy? That’s what you think of me?”
Ekko groaned, running a hand through his hair. “You confuse me, alright? You’re all over the place, acting like you care but then pulling back. I can’t—I don’t know what you want from me, and I don’t have the time to figure it out.”
Tears burned at the corners of your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Instead, you shrugged off the jacket he’d given you and threw it at his back. “Fine. You don’t have to figure it out. Here’s your damn jacket.” Your voice cracked, betraying the pain you tried to hide, and you turned on your heel, storming off without another word.
Ekko called after you, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t. His words had cut too deep, and you needed to get away.
The Last Drop was dimly lit, its familiar haze of smoke and alcohol making it feel both comforting and suffocating. You slumped onto a barstool, not caring about the stares you earned as you ordered the strongest drink they had. The bartender raised an eyebrow but obliged, sliding a glass toward you. The liquid burned as it went down, and that was exactly what you wanted.
By the third drink, the room felt like it was spinning, but you didn’t care. You leaned heavily on the counter, muttering to yourself about Ekko’s audacity. “Clingy? Really? I’m just supposed to—” Your drunken rant was cut short by a familiar voice.
“Y/N.” You turned, and there he was, standing near the doorway with your jacket in hand. He looked out of place here, his usual confidence tempered by something softer. Regret, maybe.
“What do you want?” you slurred, glaring at him as he approached.
Ekko didn’t answer right away. Instead, he draped the jacket over your shoulders, only for you to shrug it off. It fell to the floor, and you stared at it for a moment before looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes.
“You dropped this,” he said simply, picking it up again before sitting on the stool beside you.
“I didn’t drop it. I threw it at you. Big difference.” Your words were biting, but your voice wavered.
Ekko sighed, ordering a light drink and stirring the ice in the glass as he spoke. “I came to apologize, alright? I shouldn’t have said what I did back there.”
You scoffed, turning back to your drink. “Save it, Ekko. You said how you really felt. No need to sugarcoat it now.”
“You don’t get it,” he said, his tone growing more earnest. “I’ve been dealing with a lot—stress, responsibility, everything piling up. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That was wrong.”
You didn’t respond, instead taking another sip of your drink. He waited, his patience steady even as you cut him off with sharp, drunken remarks every time he tried to explain himself. Still, he didn’t leave.
Finally, you turned to him, standing unsteadily and placing yourself between his legs. Your finger jabbed at his chest, your faces inches apart. “You think… you think you can just apologize and fix everything?” you asked, your voice slurred but your expression serious.
Ekko’s eyes softened as he looked at you, his hands instinctively resting on your arms to steady you. “I’m trying, I know I messed up.”
“You’re the one that’s confusing,” you muttered, your words barely coherent now. “One minute you’re pushing me away, the next you’re… you’re here, looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” he asked, his voice low.
“Like you care,” you whispered, your hand coming up to trace the edge of his jaw. Your finger brushed his scarf, twisting it absently as you spoke. “Do you care, Ekko?”
He caught your wrist gently before your fingers could brush his lips. “Stop,” he said softly, his tone a mix of firmness and concern. “You’re drunk.”
You blinked up at him, your eyes glassy. “So? I still mean it.”
He didn’t respond right away, instead standing and slipping an arm around your waist to keep you upright. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”
You stumbled against him, your legs uncooperative. “You know…” you slurred, leaning heavily into his chest, “your arms are really nice. Strong. Muscular. You should carry me.”
Ekko raised an eyebrow, but before he could protest, you jumped into his arms with surprising enthusiasm. He caught you effortlessly, sighing as he adjusted his grip. “The drunken firefly,” he muttered, though there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
“Drunk but still lovable,” you corrected, resting your head against his shoulder as he carried you out of the bar. The night air hit your face, cool and refreshing after the stifling atmosphere inside.
Ekko’s steps were steady as he walked, his grip on you firm but gentle. “We’ll talk when you’re sober,” he said, his voice low and calm.
“Fine,” you mumbled, already half-asleep in his arms. “But you better not run away again.”
“I won’t,” he promised, his voice barely audible over the hum of the city. And for the first time that night, you believed him. Let’s just hope next time he will be more open and honest about how he is feeling with you.
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