#but will i ever Not feel like im so far behind? will i ever Not be deeply unsettled by even the mildest changes?

[manmuncher777]

Just because Choso is down bad - doesn’t make him a sub. You find that out soon enough

(s)creaming?!?!?! 😝

“Awh feels good baby?” You sweet little giggle echoes in Choso’s ears. You sat on his lap, grinding on him so good he thought he was going to bust in his fucking pants. When he pulled you on top of him, murmuring about how good you smelt, he didnt expect it to go this way.

His head hidden in your neck as your hips moved, grinding over his already throbbing cock. The material of his sweats doing nothing to lessen the sensation of your clothed pussy rubbing over him so nicely

“So good sweets” He murmed into the skin of your neck, his arms wrapped around you so tight, begging you not to stop “fucking love you”

“I love you too baby.” You tug his hair lightly, getting him to finally face you, his hands now dropping down to your hips. You press a quick kiss to his lips, that giggle leaving you once again

And then you stop.

Jumping off of him while you can, when his guard is dropped. Strutting out of the room, leaving him there, hard as a rock. And fucking angry.

You had been teasing him all day. You knew what you were doing. You guys had been dating for a few months and hadn’t had sex yet. And recently, you were getting a lot more… forward with your advances. After all you figured you could get away with it, suspecting a little submissive streak in your boyfriend since he treats you like a goddess he was lucky to be with. He was down bad for you, and you loved it. You of course were down bad too. But Choso was so dedicated to you, and you loved it. He spoiled you at any chance, kissing the ground you walked on.

You expected him to come find you, begging you finish him him, so sweetly. And of course you would oblige your beautiful boyfriend.

So to say you were shocked would be an understatement.

He left you alone for an hour or so, then returning as if nothing had ever happened. Still your sweet boyfriend. You wondered if you had pushed him too far, maybe he wasnt ready just yet. So you decided to act as if nothing had happened either.

That was until dinner that evening, he had cooked this evening while you had a shower. And of course another one of your master plans was due, you glided into the room, short satin slip was the only thing that you wore. You kissed him sweetly on the cheek, not missing the way he stopped in his tracks when he saw you.

You went to take a seat at the table before you felt him grab you. You gasped as he spun you around, pulling you into his chest quickly. Hands gripping your hips. Hard.

“Cho-“ You went to speak but he cut you off

“Run, if I find you im tearing this thing off of you.”

Oh. This was certainly unexpected. But you didnt miss how you body prickled with excitement at his words, your eyes widening, your mouth hanging open to say something. But that look in his eyes told you he wasn’t joking. You could already feel yourself getting wet just at his words.

You didnt waste a second, your body moving instinctively, racing up the stairs as you tried to figure out where to go. You could hear him following, his slow steps thudding behind you. You only had a few room, and the only place you could think to go was your bedroom, maybe you could go into the bathroom.

Fuck. This was unexpected, but you didnt expect yourself to get so turned on. Your heart racing in your chest, your skin prickling with goosebumps

You ran into the bedroom, your excited giggle an instant give away as to your location. You made your way over to the bathroom door, but your movements stopped. You froze like a deer in headlights. There he was, stood in your bedroom door.

“Found you” was the only thing he said before he was striding over to you, your reactions not quick enough to flea him.

He grabbed you, throwing you onto the bed like you weighed nothing. Caging you in with his own body as he caught your lips in a bruising kiss. That kiss trailing down, onto your neck, where he nipped at the skin.

you gasped and moaned underneath him

“Fucking slut, s’like you wanted me to fuck you.” He murmurs, his hands trailing all over your body, grabbing at your ass, squeezing your tits. One of them moving up, gripping at your throat, squeezing.

“Is that it huh? Just wanted to be fucked?” He asks you, his piercing stare drawing your eyes to his. You nodded weakly

“Use your words baby, there’s no escaping it now.’ Jesus fucking christ. You can’t believe you thought he was submissive. You were being proved very wrong in this moment. but it was working for you

“Yes cho, wan’ you to fuck me” You cried out for him. your precious cocky demeanour now completely erased as one of his knees worked his way between you legs, pressing up into your need cunt. You couldn’t help but roll you hips against him. Watching his eyes widen at your boldness. He pressed his knee further into you, entranced in watching your face twitch in pleasure

“Good girl” He murmured into your ear, and you knew you weren’t going to get out of this easily

Part 2?!?!

[ctrlhope]

Lily pleaseeee share your favorite ot7 hybrid fics, i can’t find any 😭😭😭😭

OMGGGG BB YOUVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE OKIEEE I LOVE OT7 FICS REAL BAD

I’ve been reading hybrid fics p much since I started reading bts fanfics so… I can hook u up dastardly style 🤩 links under the cut <33

so before I start listing ima be so fr and say I like most of my hybrid fics verryy formulaic. i p much only ready hybrid bts x human reader and I really enjoy the whole plot of ‘y/n inherits bts and doesn’t know what to do!’ Or ‘y/n sees 7 hybrids at the shelter who need help and doesn’t know what to do!’. It feels sooo chicken noodle soup to me and it feels good for my soul <33 so I hope these fics feel like chicken noodle soup for u too and that you love them as much as I do <33

Series

Abundance ✰ @angelicyoongie

HYBRID CLASSIC FICCCC actually one of the first hybrid fics I think I ever read?? Def the first hybrid ot7 which is kinda crazy 😭 perfect chicken soup for the soul <33 probably the basis for the way I like hybrid fics I read formatted now!! you can really see how the authors writing grew with this fic. Was the fic that made me fall in love with hybrids, actually. I love all of her work so bad man [last updated: 10/4/24]

Trouvaille ✰ @spookyserenades

on my main recs list for a REASON!!! MODERN OT7 CLASSIC FIC!!! if you like the slowest of burns… you’ll enjoy this fic heavily. once again my favourite chicken-soup style so I can’t help but recommend it <33 I have… so many words id like to say about coyote jimin and hoseok… but I will remain silent for my own dignity 😔love all of her work terribly <33 [last updated: 8/17/24]

SeVen Uncaged ✰ @/missing_min_meowmeow (ao3) and @/polaritae (ao3)

two part series (first half completed, second half not) detailing the difficulties of adopting 7 hybrids reader was completely unprepared for 🙂‍↕️ YESSS MA’AM!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! I love how this fic goes into the details of how difficult mentally and physically this kind of change would be for the hybrids. I love the characterisation of each of the boys. I LOVE IT!!!! pls give this series a chance it is so definitely worth it even though it’s unfinished. A love it terribly, in its entirety. I LOVE FLAWED CHARACTERS!!! [last updated: 9/11/23]

Restitution ✰ @/cloudtea (ao3) @cloudteawrites (tumblr)

like I said I REALLY like fanfics where reader comes into a bunch of hybrids and has to deal with the consequences 😭 that being said, this has exactly everything I love in a hybrid fic, I absolutely love the concept, and the stories of where each of the guys came from before. THIS is exactly what I mean when I say a chicken soup fic— warm and comforting. Hopefully the author will come back to it someday <33 it’s so good even though it’s just the beginning [last updated: 4/19/21 — permanent hiatus]

Loving You Isn’t Hard to Learn ✰ @/arduouslove (ao3) @arduouslove (tumblr)

MANNN ITS SO WARM AND COMFORTING!!! like,, i know i keep saying chicken soup and IM SORRY BUT THATS WHAT THESE ARE FOR ME!!! I absolutely adore the concept of a motel for hybrids to go when they need help. And I really love the development we’ve seen so far between Hoseok and jimin. Another fic that was left at the beginning, but truly lovely. Another one I hope the author updates again someday <33 [last updated: 03/07/23]

Still Life ✰ @/king_myg (ao3)

OKAY NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THIS IS ACTUALLY LIKE,,, ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HYBRID FICS IVE READ!! The concept behind it is just so,, intriguing. It’s a yandere fic, so it has that edge to it but the way jungkook just *is* is so…. No you actually just have to read it to understand. I love this fic sooo bad actually. And Yoongi who pretends not to be a hybrid… and!! I really can’t express in words how exciting this was for me to read. I can’t wait to see how the rest of the guys relationships develop with the reader. [last updated: 5/22/24]

Home Calls the Heart ✰ @anonnie-in-wonderland

verryyy cute ot7 fic <33 the first chapter just feels very warm and soft. its adorable how tae wants to 'adopt' a human for his family even though he doesn't quite understand the repercussions of it [last updated: 12/17/22]

About love ✰ @mochiimac

One of my favourite tropes of reader coming into hybrids and them all hating each other right off the bat!! The writing style feels so safe too <33 [last updated: 04/24/3]

A Hundred Percent Human ✰ @/wrienne (ao3) @wrienne (tumblr)

Another CLASSIC ot7 hybrid fic!! I remember reading the first few chapters before I took a break from fanfics back in the day. Each of the characters (bts memebers) are so interesting and I love the personalities the author made around them as well as all the world building they did within the fic. The class system was so interesting to me and TAEHYUNG??? God, such a fun and dynamic story!! Highly recommend you check it out [last updated: 7/24/23]

Daddy’s Money Makes the World Go Round ✰ @/That_Author (ao3)

SOOO warm and comfortable. Guarddog Namjoon rlly just wants to keep the reader safe even though her parents are mean. Their relationship (as well as the rest of the guys that come into the home) is just SO sweet n gentle <3 [last updated: 10/28/22]

Oneshots

Secret Story of the Swan ✰ @purpleyoonn

one of the few yandere fics on the list and oh so sweet <33 the way they gently lure reader is so 🥺 and she gives in easily to their charms 🥺 v cute little oneshot <33 love her a lot

Beastly Gods ✰ @lemonjoonah

A CLASSICCCCCC one of the only (other) yandere fics on this list. mostly taehyung x reader w/ implied ot7 x reader ++ drabbles featuring ot7 x reader. I love this fic so much actually you don’t understand. It holds such a special place in my heart PLS READ IT!!

Tangled Hearts ✰ @writersrealmbts

Adorable look into readers life with 7 hybrids <33 truly love how this fic played out and the interactions the members had with eachother and the reader. ITS JUST REAL CUTE OKAY!!!! Makes me all soft nd gushy!! Very cute <33 i love it.

To Be Read / Currently Reading

Kindness ✰ @/angelaronin (ao3)

Stray Cat Strut ✰ @/typhloticharuspex (ao3)

Meritocracy ✰ @/saylilirose (ao3)

The Dog Days are Over ✰ @/mintedmango (ao3)

Redamancy ✰ @/dalgi_jungoo (ao3)

A Sweet Change ✰ @/kagsii (ao3)

Peculiar Pack ✰ @/dollremi (ao3)

If anyone has any reads I didn’t mention comment them or message me them!!

** I’ll update this as I read more / find more fics I’ve read in the past that I enjoyed!! By no means is it complete, these are just the fics I’ve read/reread recently nd enjoyed <33 Currently going through my tumblr likes to see if I’ve missed any <33 ✰ last updated: 01/19/25

Main Rec List | individual/poly hybrid rec list (coming soon)

[lvrslvt3]

A SMALL CRUSH | w.lenney

main masterlist | yt masterlist | will masterlist

౨ৎ will lenney x reader

౨ৎ summary : reader has a small crush on her youtuber brothers best friend, willne.

౨ৎ warnings : alcohal

౨ৎ notes : can we pretend james drinks?? im sososos sorry but it’s for the plot!! also, i don’t like this but i neeedddd to post before i lose the plot

it started out completely innocent. you had of course knew of will through your brother james, however you never expected that you'd make a fool out of yourself before you'd even met him. it started with a clip that came up on your tiktok of will making a joke about you to annoy james, which you laughed at and liked. then slowly, but surely, your for you page was filled with will. you'd swipe by, liking some of the ones that also had james in them until you made a mistake one day. you liked just an edit of will.

you didn't even realise, the innocent small crush not making you think any deeper until you were bombarded with people posting the proof of you liking the tiktok. when james finally messaged you about it you wanted to hide and never show your face again but instead you said it was a silly mistake, and ignored james's teasing and just prayed that you would forget it about it.

and you did. until now, since you were finally meeting the man.

—————-

"everyone's going to be there, it will be fine!" james exclaimed while placing an arm around you, and you pushed your older brother away from you with a disgusted look. "that's not comforting, james." you grunted out as you finally made it to the bar. you sighed before walking in behind the man, hoping to hide behind his frame.

"james!" a male voice exclaimed, far too loudly for the setting, as you approached a full table. "how you been, lad?" the voice was recognisable even though you'd never heard it in person, will stood from the table to throw his arms around his friend. james spoke with him before turning to face you. "will, this is y/n, my sister."

"hey." you gave an awkward wave but he was on the receiving end of a genuine smile, your cheeks slightly rosy from the heat of the bar, the drinks you had while getting ready and mainly the presence of the man in front of you. he was taller than you imagined, and when he smiled you thought you were going to faint. he was gorgeous.

"y/n!" he exclaimed, and you tried to hide the way you flushed at him saying your name. he gave you a half hug before stepping away with a cheeky grin on his face, "it's nice to finally meet my biggest fan." he joked, and you groaned while putting your head in yours hands - debating your life choices.

"i swear to god i'm not a freak--"

"you don't have to defend yourself to me." will interrupted, leaning in slightly and putting a hand on the small of your back as he did, "i don't mind anyways, darling. promise." he then moved back to face the table as if nothing had happened, getting everyone's orders before setting off to get them.

will eventually came back and slid into the empty spot beside you, denying peoples offers of moving so he can get his original seat. he had even gotten you a drink, and you tried not to overthink how the small action made you feel too much. that grew increasingly more challenging though as he had settled his arms at the back of your chair and you could feel heat radiating off of him, and the bulge of his bicep was close enough that when you moved your arm you could feel it.

the whole night consisted of you subconsciously moving closer and the two of you accidentally falling into private conversation even though you were with a group of people. by the end of the night your small harmless crush had quickly developed into more. little did you know it was reciprocated, and had been from before you had ever saw the clip of him and james.

"do you think we could just pick him up tomorrow?" you asked will, looking at james who was stumbling out of the bar infront of you two, loudly saying bye to the rest of the group who were going the opposite way. "heavily debating it." will mumbled as he brought out his phone and ordered an uber. "where are you meant to be staying?”

"i was going to go back to the hotel." you told him. you had planned this trip last minute so the hotel was out of the way, which was why you and james had arrived after everyone else."i can help you with him, though, don't worry." you reassured him, but that wasn't the thing that will was upset with. "you're not going all that way yourself at this time." will said - matter of a factly. "you can come to mine."

you fought your smile, looking up to will. "if you really don't want to stay then i'll come with you to make sure you there." he added in, his confidence lacking a little, as he shoved his hands in his pockets. you shook your head, "as long as it's fine with you."

—————-

james lay heavily against will as you held the door open for the pair, locking it after them. "i'm gonna go get him settled. i know your luggage is all at the hotel but you can grab something more comfortable from my closet." he stated as he kicked off his shoes, and waited while james did the same but much slower.

"you sure?" you double-checked while also taking off your small heels, glad that you had the opportunity to get out of your outfit. it was cute, but uncomfortable. "whatever you want, don't be shy, darling." he glanced back at you with a small smile before manoeuvring himself and your brother to the bedroom.

so, since you had his consent, you found your way to his bedroom. it was tidy but clearly lived in from the cozy vibe it gave. you made your way to the closet - which was also perfectly organised - and grabbed sweat shorts and a hoodie. you then found the ensuite and changed before neatly folding your clothes and making your way back out to the living room.

will was in the kitchen, a smile taking over his face as came out, doing a small spin to show off your new outfit. "you wore it better to me." he admitted, and you awkwardly giggled as you stood at the other side of the counter. "he has water, medicine and a breakfast bar which is definitely not going to get ate."

"you know," you sat your clothes on a stool before leaning on the counter, "that is very kind of you to do." you complimented, smiling at the blush that took over his face. when he smiled, properly smiled, his eyes partially closed and you wanted to kick your feet at the sight. "it's nothing." he shrugged it off, "are you hungry? i'm not that tired so I was gonna make some food and watch something before bed."

you were exhausted but you weren't going to miss out on a vital opportunity to spend time with him. "sounds good." you smiled, and so you raided his kitchen with him before finally just settling on making some frozen pizzas. while they cooked will pulled out his couch to make it into a bed - deeming it would be comfortable as they'd be more space - before going to change into sweatpants and a hoodie.

while he did you added all the pillows and blankets you saw to the couch, and then put the pizza on some plates and moved your drinks to the coffee table. as soon as you settled down will appeared, and you gawked at him from the warm, dim light of his living room. "making your self at home, i see." he commented with a chuckle while settling himself down beside you and using a hand to ruffle his hair before moving his arm behind your seat again.

you shrugged, already eating the pizza infront of him as he picked a movie before joining you with an arm around you. you continued to speak as the movie began, falling into an easy atmosphere as you laid against him while eating.

-------------------

twenty minutes later, you were passed out. you tried to fight it but you couldn't help yourself, not when the warmth from the man beside you was lulling you into it. you had fallen into will in your sleep, and he looked down with a small grin as you laid on his shoulder. he fixed the blanket so it covered you fully before brushing away the hair from your face and eventually laying his arm properly around you.

he held you as you slept, even when you moved in your sleep under your head was on his chest. he kept you as comfortable as he could while he ate before eventually he too fell asleep.

-----------------------------

"what the hell did you two get up to?"

you grumbled, sitting up and peeking over the couch to see your brother emerge looking rough. "shut up." you spoke while glancing down at will, "some of us are asleep." you added, "and we didn't do anything, we watched a movie after getting you home." you explained to your brother who stared at you, debating if you were lying or not, before rubbing his eyes and stating he was going back to sleep.

you looked back over at will when you heard a small groan escape him, watching as he woke up with an annoyed look on his face - and you quickly realised that he was not a morning person.

"morning, sunshine." you snickered slightly as he looked over, his hair a mess. "morning, darling." the words slipped out quickly, but with the sound of his groggy voice you didn't mind the fact that he was closing his eyes again.

"is it okay if I make some coffee?" you questioned, and he let out a hum. "if you make me some too." you got up from that and began to find your way around his kitchen.

by the time you were almost done will had freshened up and made his way beside you, leaning on the counter. "how do you even move this early in the morning?" he asked, crossing his arms.

you tried not to stare and instead focused on the task infront of you. you shrugged, a small smile unable to escape your face as you finished up and handed him a mug.

"is that okay?" you asked when he took a sip, and he hummed with a nod. "perfect." he answered. you smiled, taking a drink from your own before settling it down.

"how did you get toothpaste on ur chin?" you asked with a giggle while, without thinking, putting your hand up to scrub it away. you didn't realise ur actions until you felt the heat of his skin underneath ur finger, and he sat his coffee down. "sorry." you mumbled while putting ur hands down.

"its okay." will answered quickly, and you fell into a slightly awkward silence. you stared at him as you thought of something that would continue your conversation. you were not willing to let your morning together end like that. “your skin is very smooth.”

will paused for a second, raising a brow before chuckling at you. "thank you?" he answered in a slightly confused tone, smiling widely at the red flush that overtook your cheeks. "you're very pretty."

"you really think so?" you lightened up, a cheesy grin on ur lips as you stared up at him. you could smell coffee, and him. it was amazing and if you could spend the rest of your mornings like this you would. "i know so, darling." he leaned closer, gaining more confidence at your reactions. "can i kiss you?" his voice rasped out.

he stared you down as you nodded, swiftly and without any other thought except from the fact that it was what you had been imaging from the moment you saw him in the bar.

"please." you murmured as he finally closed the gap between you two, his lips nettling on yours. he kissed you softly, slowly. you felt the world around you disappearing as a hand settled on the small of your back and the other on your hip.

you placed your hands around his neck to keep you from slipping away from the moment. this is all that mattered to you in the moment. this moment. his flat. his lips.

after a few seconds you pull away and you stare up at him, not letting him go incase he somehow got away. you giggle as he pecks your lips gain, feeling his smile against your face as you relish in the sensation of each other. it was something you wanted to consume you.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Just want to say: a, I admire very much that you've figured out a healthy way to work on your fics that allows you to have fun with it. And also b, am very excited to hear that you are getting there with pez! It has fully given me brain rot ever since I read it last year, there is just such a lack of content for the highly specific trope of using time travel as a device to explore extremely unhealthy levels of self loathing.

I just adore everything you're doing in it. Neither midoriya is anywhere approaching okay for any portion of the fic and I love rereading and mining into all the subtle characterization pointing to that. It's a bit like nhtycth in that some really goofy funny stuff is often hiding some really fucking worrying things, but the fact that characters DO do that stuff—that todoroki uses his teaspoon's worth of extremely stunted social skills to bludgeon his friend's door open and help him, that a rpf shipping war is an actual source of drama despite how goofy the sentiment seems on the surface, that about half of what jon says is deeply worrying and the other half is extremely funny and there's a lot of overlap between the two—really lifts the tension and brightens the universe. It's sort of similar to what you did with gerry, in that endless misery isn't nearly as painful as the ups and downs of a life that, when you step back and zoom out, has something deeply and horribly wrong with it.

(jon sort of reminds me of spider-man in that he uses human to deal with trauma and stress, except I don't think he at any point realizes how fucking funny he is. He's just there, in a home depot, gnashing his teeth because he's got so many bodies to dispose of and this cashier sure is taking her time.)

I really, really, really have had trouble finding fics that take everything midoriya has dealt with to task. It's a hell of a thing to live 14 years as a disabled minority, have it heavily shape your existence, and then one day you wake up and you realize you're...not that, or at least, nobody will ever acknowledge you as that again. You've lost all claim to it. Those experiences that shaped who you are? Dust in the wind. 14 years of pain and life might as well be buried in the ground for all the good they do you. Nobody's going to cut you any slack or quarter, you've gotta simply work harder, be better. And now when you do that you get the results you wanted, so that's fine, then. That's good. There was something wrong with the you before, and there's something right with the you now, and if the transition is a little rough, well that doesn't matter, you're the same as everyone else now, so it's your own job to fill in whatever gaps you need to.

I really can't get over how mentally fucked it must be for midoriya to run into quirkless people, run across quirkless issues, and be silently caught between, incapable of speaking his mind and too scared to do so anyway around those he can trust.

Also I should mention, I'm just very excited for bakugou to get back from the gym. He's been there like a year I hope he's getting a good workout in.

Me realizing that it’s been a year since pez dispenser debris:

I feel like there’s just this very specific type of grief that Izuku has to grapple with in the span of pez dispenser debris that I’m just obsessed with. He’s sort of silently mourning who he could have been, when 1) he has to present like there’s nothing lost to maintain his secret and 2) the entire world is constantly inundating him with the message that there was nothing lost.

Like. I don’t want to get too deep into it because it risks spoiling things and I do have major plans to continue it (I’ve loved this story for so many years before I ever even hit publish), but the emotion that Izuku’s feeling right now is so much more complex than “I hate who I used to be and want him to stop existing” or “I just want to keep my secrets.” And I think the way he interacts with Mirio is the biggest evidence of that.

Izuku’s placed himself at the very center of the Quirklessness debate with his support of Mirio. He fights for Quirkless heroes, very publicly, to the point where he’s not even graduated yet but considered to be one of the most prominent voices on the matter. If you took a poll of Quirkless people as to which hero would be most supportive of them pursing their own career in heroics, Izuku would be right at the top of the list. When it comes to Quirklessness itself, he’s nothing but supportive.

But he didn’t tell Mirio the truth of his own Quirklessness.

Out of everyone, Mirio’s the one everyone expects to know, despite him being a relatively newer relationship compared to someone like Iida or Uraraka or Todoroki. And I tried to imply that he’s sort of the one who knows the most about Izuku out of everyone save All Might.

Like, we’ll get into how much exactly Mirio knows soon, so I won’t divulge what, if anything, Izuku has told him. But we know that Mirio knows, weirdly enough, that Izuku is deeply fucking haunted. He knows that boy has many violent ghosts in his bones. He finds it hilarious and will tell their realtor about it. Izuku told him about the discontent spirits who died in a violent passion and live on inside of him before he told him about his Quirklessness.

And I just feel like one of those things is a little bit easier to discuss than the other.

Izuku has decided to keep his own Quirklessness quiet in a way that surpasses secrecy about One for All. If it was just about OfA, he could tell people he didn’t get his quirk until the entrance exam, and it wouldn’t even be a lie. He’s purposefully obscuring his own past as Quirkless even as he takes a forefront of the Quirkless hero debate with his open support of Mirio.

And the fact that he’s at the forefront of this debate in and of itself requires a difficult dichotomy. He is the world’s most vocal proponent for the first Quirkless hero. He is a known figure in the Quirkless community now.

He isn’t considered one of them anymore. He’s an outsider coming in.

It must be such a strange, odd sort of grief to come to the people you were home amongst for most of your life and be greeted as a stranger. To return home, and to be welcomed in for the first time, and to not even be able to tell people that you’ve lived here all your life and don’t need a tour.

It’s a sort of death of self, I think. And I think Izuku never expected to have to grapple with his own ghost.

[lemongogo]

need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu

[tittyinfinity]

contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk

[thewickerking]

3 year old messages cannot be having me giggling out loud it is three am. Sighs. I think more than anything I just miss having the energy to text as many people as often as I used to. I miss late night conversations while barely awake and memorizing timezones and inside jokes and well okay maybe I do miss specific people. I miss the groupchats and servers and communities i was a part of... especially now when I feel such a lack of community around me.... :/

[nieranddear]

Rereading the dialog that is said during suppressions. Abel specifically says 'Loved Ones' as he speaks about those in the upper layer's demise and their struggle and urging to stop as continuing on is futile. Abram says 'colleagues'. 'Coworkers'. He does refer to them as 'Friends' once as well. But every other dialog is about Carmen or generalizing and saying 'everyone' rather than specifics. It just feels odd a bit to where he uses less strong terms when referring to relations with people and then afterwards only refers to Carmen by name rather than those still existing beside him. Even when it was stated by a facet of A and others (I can only remember Hokma off the top of my head. It may be only him which would make sense) refer to A having seen them as specifically 'Loved Ones'. Which is a far stronger showing and expression of emotion to those around you.

It makes me think of how he, Abram, expressed his desires, the desire to die [see: 'sink'/'sleep' for he explicitly refers to death consistently as slumber and when bringing the dead back 'waking them up'] and stop, in that moment. He constantly brings up, in general terms, self punishment and Carmen. Guilt that is carried with Carmen. Memories of her death, her passing. Of how she left without a smile. Of how she can no longer bask in the warmth of the sun she loved to do so frequently. Yet only of Carmen in name. Never anyone else or specifics of people, generalizations when referring to others and referring to them all inside a group, as a collective. Them and then Carmen. Focused on only that. On the fact he cannot move forward. Urging to just shut the eyes and to simply Sink. To Sleep. To die. It reminds me of when one goes ahead and becomes so interlaced with suffering and grief and despair that one simply stews inside of it, spiraling down further into that single train of thought. Holding onto the image of a dead and deceased one. It feels as if, in a more crude way of saying it as I cannot formulate a different way currrently at the moment, searching of 'justification' and a fitting reason to commit suicide. [I say Justification as what I really mean to say a 'fitting reason', that reason and end seeming to Be the Only way to continue, or lack of continue, at that point to him.] Rather than saying the names or specifics of those around him, of his loved ones still inside those metal boxes, he becomes enveloped in grief and only on Carmen. Abram's mistake which he fixates the most upon. Holds deep guilt for. Blames himself for. Saying he drove her to her death. That he is leaving her behind [I didnt save the exact quote but it was generally that]. When those inside the facility are people he also so clearly values and wished to bring back as well he, at this moment, primarily focuses on Carmen. Even when he does address the others it's in a more brief manner, having two pieces of dialog on the Sephirot specifically and it only relating to his Faults relating to them than the people themself when he speaks of Carmen in a more in depth manner. Perhaps it's still the wish clinging of to not hold trust in anyone. But it feels reminiscent to when a person tries to push themself and gain 'courage' to commit suicide. Of focusing only on the guilt and regret and the mourning of one already gone, who was so near and dear whom he did all of this for in the first place his desire only stemming from her and not the project itself, especially one who also killed herself, to go ahead and die as well. Perhaps it's not even an active thing he does in his mind. It's just become so overbearing that he has now gotten stuck in that never ending loop. Using far more stronger language of the woman dead and gone who he wishes to rejoin than of those currently alive and near to him, making them feel far more distant than they actually are mentally – at least in relations and connections wise. Depression does tend to tear down what one feels towards their loved ones and how they process and view relationships causing for people to exhibit such a thing by feeling distant in a room or alone with a loved one nearby as commonly known – and physically. I'm not saying that's 'totally what it is' or the sort. More of that reading it over again just reminded me of such a thing. Nothing revolutionary but more ramblings to process it all after it ended

[pastellmochi]

non paralive moots im begging yuo listen to my wife singing

[s0fter-sin]

AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOT ITS TEETH IN ME BUT I’M ABOUT TO BITE BACK IN ANGER

[thedevotionaltour]

I SHOULD HAVE GONE INTO RADIOOOOOOOO

[chiisana-lion]

^ had to look at their old classmates' and childhood friends' graduation pics and celebrations and whatnot

[agentemo]

I think I worked too hard for too long trying to fix things with my mom and it kept breaking me down the way it always did and now I feel like a shell of a person because it was a waste it was a waste to hollow myself out and show her the viscera I'm made of and keep hoping keep hoping she'll find something beautiful in it someday

strangers love me better

[willowfey]

.

[why-ami-not-asleep]

parents had 2 kids within 2 years and then had 4 more inrapud succession i feel like ive been baby trapped

[asclexeposting]

sometimes i feel jealous of cisgender people but then. i dont it’s whatever man. no wait i am. i am very jealous of cisgender people in a fucked up way. what