#but idk it doesn’t feel likely… sigh
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DRDT SPOILERS
all the theories/evidence/etc I still want answered before we wrap up this trial:
- what was the ball of clothes for? why/how were they starchy?? (and how did the culprit know about the old clothes)
- how and when did the culprit get the fish w/out Nico noticing
- what did Nico tell Hu to get the wire from her
- did the culprit use turpentine? if so, how did they get it, and if not, how did they knock Arei out?
- is the origin of anything else in the crime scene in any way important (where and when did the culprit get the rope, empty jugs, something to cut the rope with, etc.)
- how on earth did Nico come up with that crazy murder method???
- why the hell was MonoTV so urgent and insistent on cleaning up Nico’s crime scene so fast (I don’t think we’re actually gonna get an answer to that but why?????)
- what’s up with the scuffs on the ground + the broken light
- what’s up with Arei’s missing glove!!
- was someone actually following Eden in that scene where she thought she was being followed?
- how did the culprit figure out how Nico’s hanging attempt worked without seeing it in action (5 secs while actively being murdered shouldn’t count!)
- why did the person who took the tape think to do so (and do so without anyone else noticing) considering the circumstances
- why hasn’t anyone brought up that someone could’ve easily stolen the tape from whoever took it? (or even just asked to borrow it??) we just recently addressed how dangerous it is to narrow down the suspect pool without solid proof but I don’t think Teruko will make another ‘mistake’ this trial??
- why and how did the culprit listen in on the Eden/Arturo/Arei scene
- why did the culprit target Arei specifically?
- the fact that the culprit misspelled a bunch of stuff in their letter has to be relevant right
- why and how did the culprit move Arei’s body to the swingset?
- why hasn’t anyone brought up that Arei theoretically could’ve been murdered at night and then moved in the morning!!
- why haven’t we addressed that the murderer could’ve had an accomplice, rendering many alibis useless??
like I dunno, it just feels like David just brought up that we need to consider every possibility when looking at suspects and yet we narrowed down the suspects to two people when theoretically it could still be someone else even with the evidence? i don’t think I’m wording this well but… (like it doesn’t have to be likely or even plausible, it just has to be possible for it to be something Teruko should consider? or maybe I’m reading to deeply into David’s latest monologue idk)
#like we can’t use the bda as solid evidence since there’s a POSSIBILTY someone else could’ve seen the body first#and yet we’re using the tape as solid evidence despite the fact that I feel like there’s a POSSIBILITY someone could’ve easily stolen it???#idfk man maybe im reading too deeply into this….#drdt#danganronpa despair time#drdt spoilers#rn im oscillating wildly between NO NO IT CANT BE ACE and … yeah it is him isn’t it#like I really wanted to see his character develop esp after the Levi thing#and would the dev rly do a fake-out death only to kill him for real the same chapter??#but there’s genuinely NO WAY it’s Eden after all that#so I’m hoping the next ep is 40 mins again to account for surprise! it’s actually a third person!#but idk it doesn’t feel likely… sigh
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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc
#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have#dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways#and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff#when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for#and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death#and what ‘dying’ really means#being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this#much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is#to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant#he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him#but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou#he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations#i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful#like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him#if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again#like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is#it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes#it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING#like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even#anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway#dais.txt
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Constantly torn between genuinely loving the remake timeline’s depiction of Reeve and Cait and being immensely sad that pretty much all of my favorite lines of theirs from the original were totally excised or bc of plot developments will never be said
#Reeve is never going to argue with barret about the reactor bombings. bc the immense damage wasnt avalanches fault and he knows it.#he also looks a lot more wishy washy as a result. which I’m not a big fan of admittedly#his hypocrisy is something I like in the original bc it makes sense. the damage Shinra causes is something he can turn a blind eye to#bc hes so focused on midgar’s development and improving the reactors to better the lives of the ppl who live there#the reactors blowing up and killing ppl is his direct jurisdiction and he cares a lot about the ppl in the city. and so!#avalanche frustrates him even when he knows logically speaking that they have legitimate reasons for the things they do#(like this is additional canon but not least of all bc his fucking mom lives in the city.)#starting him out as already sympathetic to avalanche robs him of like. half his arc#also he’s so much angrier in the original to me whereas in the remake he’s so sad. and both are understandable!#but I liked the anger. I liked it so much#and Cait doesn’t get to have his lovely request for the party to not forget him before he’s crushed in the temple.#bc that sacrifice mattered to that version of him even if he can be replaced!!!#I do love his extra dialogue when holding up the altar in rebirth it’s great but!!!#SIGH.#idk man I love their original depictions deeply and I feel like they got shifted into being more sympathetic but less complex. it’s a shame#still love them tho. I would kill and die for rebirth Cait#text#Reeve tuesti#Cait sith#I think about them so much and I wish ppl appreciated their original arcs more#ff7
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I’ve never been so obsessed with a character so bad that I literally can’t do anything else I’m like the squidward meme watching SpongeBob frolic outside the window stretching a hand out to all the pretty paintings and animations and comics I see in my head but being unable to feel any motivation for it . If only i could use the energy spent to create 20 kon doodles to sit down and concentrate on a single finished full piece I used to be able to make like 5 page comics what happened to me
#sighs yes before anyone says anything IK it’s probably adhd related 😭#BUT ITS GOTTEN SO BAD I CAN FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY BRAIN HOW DID IT GET WORSE#it’s probably a mix of burnout too but I don’t get tired of drawing ?#it feels like when u get dizzy or change glasses or so#and it’s either everything is wayyy too in focus and you can see literally everything clearly that it hurts ur brain#which doesn’t help given how saturated w information the world is always#and simultaneously somehow everything is blurry or out of focus and I physically have to strain myself to hone in on one thing#I JUST WANNA READ COMICS AND FINISH A DRAWING AND HANDLE WORK AND SCHOOL AND TALK TO MY FRIENDS#ALL IN OME DAY#BUT MY BRAIN IS LIKE. TODAY IS ONLY FOR COMICS. YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ESLE#😫🫶 I’m deleting this later I’m just ranting LMAO#I’m highschool it’s crazy bc I did okay and then honestly i just think my ability to concentrate has deteriorated as the years have gone by#free me!!!#either way I want to lessen my social media and just pick One bc girl I have an Instagram a tumblr and a twitter this is horrible for me .#honestly I’ll probably pick instagram and just post on tumblr when I have art#I already do that#I mean when I have Good art.#IM RAMBLING IDK
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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like I do feel bad to not be happy about something that a lot of people are happy about but almost every summer servant being lb6 AND the anniversary servant being a summer servant connected to lb6 is just. A lot. Like I’m glad that you like aesc and she works with her already existing narrative but putting a summer servant (bc she is, Morgan shows up in a swimsuit and her alignment changes to lawful summer in third ascension) uo as the anniversary servant is just. It feels really weird to me and i don’t like it. Even pan human history Morgan would’ve felt more suited to the slot than a summer unit.
#and there’s also the fact that like 4 of the other summer servanrs are probably lb6 + obe + the kotr it’s just#idk like yeah. if you love lb6 this is great but a summer servant? for anniversary?#all the other anniversary servants were either incredibly important to tm overall (arc) or story relevant#and idk maybe aesc will be again but it feels way more like they just wanted a Morgan alt and decided to have her there for a headliner#it’s just. idk most of the other years the summer servants weren’t all from one story#like they created new interactions and relationships#and this doesn’t seem like it will be doing that?#sigh. idk I feel like a lot of the people who are excited aren’t acknowledging that putting a summer unit on for the anniversary headliner#is just weird#this isn’t even getting into how they let her swimsuit be the anniversary servsnt but#the guy from the chapter who was just as popular as her still only has a costume#like make it more obvious that y’all won’t even make a male alt for easy $ will you#it’s obvious that is isn’t about the money anymore it has to be that they either don’t want to bc of personal stuff#or bc they don’t want to upset a specific genre of male otaku#and it’s annoying bc other games in the same category as fg0 will make make summer units like. come one#my post
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once again thinking about my ideal 3rd drb match up and how it’d stack up with plot beats and so far all i got is
🔴💥⚪️: true hypnosis mic opponents, maybe jakurai ends up on a side for further development to save yotsutsuji and that’s against ichiro’s current goal
🔵💥🟠: haven’t quite figured out why, but rei vs samatoki is the angle i’m thinking about
🟡💥🟣: all plot stakes division vs no stakes division lol idk really but i’m leaning towards a bonds angle or if hypmic wants to be real freaky, the side effects angle 🤔
#this is vee speaking#i still think a new format could happen but idk lol there’s so many unknowns rn#like what’s next specifically lmao#i personally feel it would be a waste not to have jakurai working to finalise development for this potential other true hypnosis mic lol#like they teased him joining chuuoku but then didn’t commit?????? huh??????#what about his struggle with causing more harm vs saving that one?????? like come on now??#so here’s me trying to put him back on that track lol#why not sasara vs samatoki you might ask lol and my answer is that’s the poster fight but the real fight is between rei and samatoki lol#samatoki was weirdly interested in rei watching bb vs dh and there’s a panel in showdown battle where samatoki looks……#he’s very hard to read actually while listening to ichiro#samatoki and rei are paralleling in the block party as individuals moved by ichiro’s ideals#so while i’m not sure if ichiro would be the reason to fight (🎋hahahaha🎋) i think there’s potential for strife#*sighs at bat* why doesn’t kr want to do anything with y’all lmao#if they went the side effects angle it’d be cool to have ramuda the guy whose clones die using the true hypnosis mic#vs kuukou who might be suffering from side effects (and against the guy that caused them tho he’s forgiven ramuda lol)#jyushi’s hypnosis ability to ‘recover’ is genuinely interesting because what is he recovering???? and why haven’t we seen it yet?????#maybe they’re lying in wait lol (delusional)#bonds angle is me grasping at straws lol but here’s how i can get my ideal match ups—
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Thinking filthy, disgusting thoughts about Endeavor again.
#this man plagues my brain#degrading him and making him feel disgusting for the age gap >>>>#and he finds himself always coming back for more#he likes women being mean to him#even tho he tries to give it back to you it doesn’t work#you’re the only one that can bully this man and boss him around SIGH#idk I just think this man would be into being pegged or having his ass ate#or being stepped on with heels >>>#but also when you’re teasing gets too much and he snaps???
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In my constant brain rotations of “why are people in the west so hard on mecha aside from the fandom can be a bit unfriendly” I think one thing I realized as much as I hate to say is how mecha is sometimes treated remind me of the constant hatred superhero stuff gets.
It’s such a weird comparison because with mecha I do not know what the root of it was-and I’d love to know why but I feel there’s either no clear answer or there is one and it’s stupid-where as for superheroes in the west while there’s still a dedicated community the mainstream audiences have become tired of them due to over-saturation, which I understand, but it’s caused such a massive dismal to the entire genre of it much like mecha.
People think superhero stories can’t have any substance because it’s all about fighting and not about the characters- yet forget the SIGNIFICANT impact they had to so much pop culture. How superhero stories were rooted within comic popularity, how superheroes inspired countless of stories, even so far as reaching japan since so much early anime was taken off of western media which birthed its own genre of superheroes. It’s no different to how mecha help started up the anime industry making it one of the most important genres to japans history, yet most people don’t know it and belittle it.
Yet in superhero story cases it’s even WORSE when people are against it yet then go to see one superhero movie because it’s animated and put it on a pedestal and don’t bother to try other superhero content even though they consumed is no different from the norm. It’s the exact same shit when people watch eva and then think all other mechas don’t compare to it, when the genre always had darker, mature and emotional elements, just only a select few decide to canter to a audience who doesn’t even accept what genre it’s from which makes it all the more frustrating to deal with.
I’m someone who’s hardly into superhero stuff even if some of it catches my eye but it sucks to see that the situation is pretty identical to how mecha is seen, that I can’t help to feel sympathetic whenever I see some comic book fans upset at the mainstream audience even if they too can be a little hostile.
#meg text#to clarify I do agree 100% live action superhero movies especially the MCU got really stale#but that doesn’t mean those movies being stale should single out all superhero content when the stuff before is still GOOD#I was in a server that wasn’t mecha but someone was like “I hate superheroes” yet the discussion was just about a old Justice league cartoo#again- what’s so wrong about the animated ones? when they were from a time pre-saturation and people praise shit like spider verse?#I seriously cant tell if this is also a factor of the ever growing issue of people don’t wanna check out old things despite their importanc#*me awaiting the day someone unironically saids the boys/invincible/spider verse is a deconstruction so I can sigh in pain with actual fans#I hope to god that doesn’t happen but it feels like it’s close to why people already say superhero movies don’t have characters#and maybe that’s true bc I haven’t watched a marvel movie in ages but also I think you more so mean “characters being expanded upon”#because… every story has characters… just some can lack dimension and depth… but their still characters…#oh and it’s funny how it’s always these two that get singled out for focusing on action but shonen gets a pass 😑#action doesn’t equate to less characters!! How do people not realize this?#it’s fine if not your preference but fights can LITERALLY be CHARACTER DRIVEN#a lot of them are in fact because there’s always a purpose to these fights! Even if the meaning is sometimes barebone#also I know there’s gonna be a mecha fan who hates superhero who finds this post#and hate to break it to you but I’m pretty sure the super in super robot came from superhero and just not super powered#especially when a lot of the stuff Nagai made/worked on was him clearly tackling a superhero story from another angle#of course mecha isn’t entirely a superhero genre since we have “reals” but the 70s robots? Oh yeah meant to be superhero’s#and what I said above I think the comparison is warranted because the downplaying is unreal sometimes#will say between the two superhero’s probably have it worse because mecha honestly is more so “im curious but idk more then 5 shows”#because my god I can’t have some conversations irl where this shit doenst get unnecessary heated#had a whole English teacher who wouldn’t stop complaining about superhero movies last semester in college 💀 it’s that bad#that said mecha still suffers from people liking one show and shooting down the other it’s just not as prevalent bc mecha content is low#it’s not dead like others say but it’s mainly been gundam and people now just think gundam is every robot (which is PAINFUL but whatever)#moral of the story is don’t judge a book by it’s cover especially when that book is actually really important to fucking pop culture
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Hug
*Hug*
#it’s really easy to dismiss why I’m upset and tell myself it’s silly and stupid but#so I went to a party with ⚡️ and 🔮 (hosted at ⚡️’s house) everyone was drinking I was the only sober one#but hearing ⚡️ and 🔮 talk about all these dates they go on trying to hook up with all these people missing people they have crushes on etc.#like what to me is huge and soul crushing and life changing to them is just. a fling or something.#I spent MONTHS in a state of suicidal ideation self harming wondering if I should commit myself over how things went with 🔮#to hear her talk about during those months she was out going on other dates trying to hook up with other people etc.#what was just another date in a long line of dates and people to her was something equal to a breakup to me#and that hurts? and it’s okay that that hurts? it’s okay that I’m upset by that?#because dating is NOT that casual for me#those two dates I went on with her were the first dates I had been on since 2021#and now I can’t even think about being with anyone else besides those two#I’m realizing just how much it hurts me that I’m someone in a long line of random dates/cheap thrills/short lived relationships#because to me they are… well shit man look how much I talk about them on here.#I don’t know if they are FPs but they’re like. Serious interests at least.#they’re who I’m comparing everyone I talk to to#I know that I’m not going to be able to really entertain the idea of flirting seriously with anyone else because I am hooked on them#and one doesn’t know and the other doesn’t care#and I don’t know what to do about it#I told 🔮 if I had a way to move on I would. does she think this is fun for me? that I’m having a good time?#that I love feeling like I want to kill myself over her? because this isn’t fucking fun for me!#THIS FUCKING SUCKS!#*sigh*#idk what else to say#punk gets mail
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Yeah I Cried. So What.
#i didnt cry when the leafs were knocked out but this just feels so bad :(#sigh. we used to have it so good. we were the best team in the league.#idk. something about the crowd still cheering and chanting even after the game got me#that doesn’t happen in the nhl. if the home team is losing the crowd is quiet#theres just something about womens sports……. i love it so much. it means so much to me#and our ladies looked so sad :( it was hard to see them like that#waghhhhh. oh well. oh well. next year#pwhl
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Random unpopular opinion- People who struggle with media literacy or moral grayness/complex characters, why are you playing Twsited Wonderland?
#unpopular opinion#just fr#it’s a game that requires reading#if you cant read in between the lines then you aren’t going to get most details#like the writing doesn’t have to spell everything out for you to get it#and the characters aren’t black and white either#just dang?? its not the games fault you cant read fr#delete later im just salty#got protective over scarabia again sighs#i know im an asshole but rip#well idk if this is unpopular but i feel like someone would get mad at me for saying this
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i’m thinkin abt getting a planner 📔
#sam.txt#it’s a joke to try n Actually plan anything while i live here#which is y i thought it was dumb of me to even fool myself into trying#but last night i took some time for me for like two hrs#jst doin stuff i had on my mind or wanted to get done so i could enjoy my night#and i ended up doing everything i wanted and then i got to relax after#but it was so satisfying guys like hello it rly feels good to ‘cross stuff’ off ur imaginary list#so today i’ve been like . what if i get a planner#i realized it doesn’t have to b big things i can jst do lil things for me — to help sort my time out#i’ve always been had terrible time management & maybe this can help !#idk if i want a physical planner or to try an app tho 🤔#sometimes w apps i have a tendency to flake… but w physical copies i jst never use em sighs#neway wow a tag rant abt possibly getting a planner 🫣🥴
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Might start um
Posting my rambles ab my* human Narrator here
Need to release my thoughts from the cage that is my notes app
#*it feels weird calling him ‘mine’ bc he’s just The Narrator to me#I feel like I add no unique characterization to him to call him my own#I suppose in the context of AUs he is ‘mine’ but idk it doesn’t feel correct#weird! anyway#rambles range from ‘this is why The Narrator is trans coded’ to ‘I talk ab Narrators opinions on water for 16 paragraphs’#I have a lot of thought ab him. all the time. everyday.#quite literally in there rent free#what a freak sighs giggles and kicks my feet#.txt
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SO GLAD UR ALIVE VENUS MWAH -CHUBBY DARLING ANON <333
ohhh my dearest i’ve missed u so much :(( my brain has been FRIED for the past like… three months and it’s rlly getting to me ueueue… i AM alive!! nonsense spitballing here but i’ve been considering moving blogs. this one has just felt so cluttered bc on top of it being a side, i’ve been managing it plus numerous other side blogs… idk it’s just felt strangely overwhelming and i don’t rlly know what to do abt it… i ADORE writing SO MUCH!! esp for ppl who are into the same things as me but… every time i open my inbox or drafts i just stare at the text box blankly while feeling kinda nauseous… i’m not 100% on moving blogs mainly bc i’ve curated such a sweet community here and been able to share my thoughts with thousands… i don’t wanna lose that bc i do truly feel so safe with all of you here… just… kind of struggling my way through this weird burn out… maybe my word vomit here will cure me and suddenly my motivation will be back…
#srry not to dump this on u but#venus feelings they r complicated rn :(#idk what i’m doing!! i am just a 20 year old teenage girl…#and i’m feeling weirdly lost for direction#i wanna keep writing i rlly do#but i just don’t know how to make myself??#on TOP of this i do strongly feel like lots of my old work doesn’t rlly represent me anymore…#le sigh… we cringe on…#srry again i love u sm anon :( i mean it from the depths of my heart ily ily ily ily#chubby darling anon my beloved <3#me me me!#chit chats!
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my wisdom tooth surgery is tmrw and i’m really scared ;-;
#it doesn’t make me feel better. like. at all that my f*ther is the one who has to drive me#i tried asking him what time he wants to leave in the morning and he basically just said idk idc and walked away from me#really cool !!!!!!!#i feel like crying i’m really scared for the surgery i already have such a fear of dentists#and he just. doesn’t seem to care at all#if anything he’s treating this like an inconvenience cause he has to take the morning off of work#i should have just asked my grandpa to take me…#i hate bothering my grandparents even though i know they don’t mind..i just don’t like to bug them#cause then my f*ther gets pissy i didn’t ask him#but when i do ask him for help…well at best he just does nothing about it#sigh…#i could just cry seriously#snow.txt
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