#venus feelings they r complicated rn :(

[venusandsaturnsrings]

SO GLAD UR ALIVE VENUS MWAH -CHUBBY DARLING ANON <333

ohhh my dearest i’ve missed u so much :(( my brain has been FRIED for the past like… three months and it’s rlly getting to me ueueue… i AM alive!! nonsense spitballing here but i’ve been considering moving blogs. this one has just felt so cluttered bc on top of it being a side, i’ve been managing it plus numerous other side blogs… idk it’s just felt strangely overwhelming and i don’t rlly know what to do abt it… i ADORE writing SO MUCH!! esp for ppl who are into the same things as me but… every time i open my inbox or drafts i just stare at the text box blankly while feeling kinda nauseous… i’m not 100% on moving blogs mainly bc i’ve curated such a sweet community here and been able to share my thoughts with thousands… i don’t wanna lose that bc i do truly feel so safe with all of you here… just… kind of struggling my way through this weird burn out… maybe my word vomit here will cure me and suddenly my motivation will be back…

[ofcscottys]

✧ · ˚ . luke hemmings? nah, that’s just scotty st.james. you know, they’re the  twenty-three year-old bassist from manhattan,nyc… still doesn’t ring a bell ? come on, dude ! they’re all over ME.MIAMI’S homepage. it’s impossible for them to stay off of it because of the fact that they’re super detached & cold  they’re not all bad though, ‘cause they can be self reliant & venturesome too ! you can totally tell they’re a scorpio … it’s almost scary. look, if you want to remember them, just think of  old guitars, the smell of cigarettes and bourbon, and hundred dollar bills thrown in the air , and you’ll be golden. ( he/him, cismale. )

raq? with a new 5sos muse? :o wow... shocking.... i made it a record 2? 3? months without a 5sos fc wow im a coward. anyway  here’s the son tho i love him and haven’t written a single thing for him yet SO :) 

tws: parental neglect, drug abuse, stay safe but i think that’s it!

ᴛʟ;ᴅʀ ʙᴀꜱɪᴄꜱ:

full name: scotty antoni st.james

inspired by: my muse matty ! but also like.. not at all? kinda? think the anti-matty thats still kinda soft with a v similar backstory sifjad it’s complicated. 

songs that remind me of him: king charles by yungblud, diet soda by the maine, scrawny by the wallows, ghost by badflower, am i pretty by the maine, nicotine by panic at the disco, godzilla by with confidence, annnnd original me by yungblud, 

basicALLY, he’s really quite... rough around the edges. not an asshole? but not-not an asshole...? skfafa sam would prolly say like a goblin-lite, if you will. scottys been through SOOO much that he naturally, kinda grew to emotionally distance himself from /alot/ of people. hes not anti-social by.... ANY stretch of the imagination nowadays but like just because you know him doesn’t mean you KNOW him. has abandonment issues but rather than being clingy he will just-- break up with u before u even THINK about leaving him. tbh that’s if he ever makes “dating” official to begin with. thats a taste within itself :) isn’t he lovely? 

more in-depth: 

alrighty so scotty was born october 21st, 1997 in brooklyn, new york to celia taylors. ( footnotes bc i don’t feel like writing alladat rn buuuut his dad skipped town before he was born bc tea: he has a wife and kids and rlly shouldn’t have been messing around with celia in the first place.) unfortunately, celia was not suited to be a mother by any means. as irresponsible as it comes, she didn’t necessarily make any concessions/change anything about her.... she was still HEAVY into drugs, HEAVY into drinking, and often would forget she left her child in the motel for hours at a time. 

so from birth to like 5 he was... very alone and isolated. didn’t really hang out with other kids his age. mostly found himself stuck inside with the tv annnd whomever his mom found to “babysit” him. 

by age five he was taken out of his mom’s custody and thrown into foster care. super terrified, and super uneasy around new people in general he was incredibly timid and scared for the first few years in his foster home. didn’t speak to anyone, curled up in a ball like 99.9% of the time, night terrors, he was.. alot. he was sad. his first set of foster parents were really great and really tried to give him outlets to help him break out of his shell ( ala: putting him in music lessons ) buuuuut while that gave him a little bit of confidence it definitely wasn’t a drastic difference. 

that is until age 10 when he met his foster sister, scout! ( matchy matchy names ik we love it ) honestly, she’s his first friend in the history of ever AND the first person he would’ve ever consider family. they really just bonded, and she helped him become more outspoken and the outgoing lil shit he is today :) 

they got separated and that really huRT scotty cause he lost his sister man

he’d later reconnect with scout, at around  14, being adopted by the same family which :’) is so sweet and what he deserved.

@ 18 started a band called second street fighters ( i- ) if you can’t tell they sucked ass.. 

but they still kinda stayed together for awhile, “touring” with v little money at different venues around new york and most of the east coast 

annnnnd at a gig with his band is where he met parker. it was a “yo, your band sucks. me and you can start a better one” 

annnd the rest his history! he’s :) trying his best yall 

hmu for any connections cause pls but ideas r

best friends, party friends, exes ( alot of em. i forsee most are him never saying ily, or being like “we’re just.. fwb” real mean stuff fjads), crushes (unrequited), neighbors, fellow musicians, ex-pr relationships, anything yo

[sometimesrosy]

(1)oh my GOD so idk if you watched friends cause i know you’re into sci-fi but im rewatching it rn and im on episode 2 and since ross&rachel are just being set up and anyway they’re talking about love and how it’s complicated and romantic music is playing and he leans on the couch and she nuzzles on his hand and it’s c l e a r l y made to be a romantic moment so my mind immediately jumped to bellarke wow i love when tropes make things so obvious and the most famous will they won’t they

(2) is being paralled (in some way) by ANOTHER huge “will they won’t they” (or more they will but when?) how do people not see this?

I have definitely seen Friends. A lot. I was in my 20s in the 90s. In downtown NYC. That was almost like my life. Except. You know. With more minorities and less money. 

But YES. People have a tendency to see the stories they are watching as a thing borne from the ocean, fully formed, like Venus on the Half Shell. They just exist to be consumed by the audience, without understanding the long long tradition of telling stories and all the conventions and traditions that are used in ORDER to tell the story.

There are so many romantic tropes at play in our pop culture romance stories… and non romance stories. We see it in other genres, too, because romance does cross boundaries, and those tropes signal to us that There Is Romance ahead.

The more conscious we are of the romantic tropes, the easier it is to identify them, but even if we CAN’T identify them from the general story, we still FEEL them, because we’ve seen them so many times, that it works on a subconscious level.

When we see a scene where two characters get close and nuzzle, and then get interrupted, for comedic (in Friends) or dramatic (in The 100) effect, it pings a part of our brain to pay attention to Feelings growing between the two characters. It sets us up for romance.

And there are SO MANY large and small moments of romantic tropes and conventions, from narrative to lighting to framing to music, to those long looks and quick glances at the lips (no the characters glancing at lips is NOT platonic, it’s a romantic convention that indicates the one character wants to kiss the other, or is suddenly aware that the other has lips that COULD be kissed, it’s an awareness of kissability) or that glance back before leaving (like we saw in the finale of s5) between Clarke and Bellamy in The 100. That’s why when people say it’s platonic you have to laugh. Because.

No.

Bellarke is not platonic. 

Platonic relationships are not framed as Tangled parallels, or set up with one or the other checking the other out or being thrown by the intimacy or given interrupted confessions of feelings, or set up with love triangles and one part watching the other two kissing with a jealous look. And they are not mistaken for girlfriends. And they are not told by their sister that they love the wrong person. 

Platonic my ass.

Don’t believe the words being said ABOUT it. Believe the story being told on screen.

ROMANTIC TROPES ALL OVER THE PLACE. 

[famosoentrescalles]

So 2018 is here and I aggressively try to keep my good mood by thinking about the past four days. I had a great time, enjoyed the concerts as much as it was possible and all the hugs and cuddles really made me happy. I wish I could keep these positive vibes the tourlife gives me forever, because rn I’m struggeling with self harm thoughts and depression again. 

I’m angry about some minor issues that happened on tour and that my family doesn’t care about what I tell them - I hate the double standard that they’re totally fine with everything I do but completely ignore me when I talk about my experiences. I could talk to a wall instead and it would be the same result. And I don’t want to go to work again because I kinda can’t be who I am there (I suppose it’s because they all call me by my deadname). Also I can’t really blog about most of the time because it’s really private stuff.

So, here is what I experienced the last days: I danced so much that my feet ache with every step I take and my already injured knee hurts even more. I went stagediving a lot because it is so much fun and in the current setlist are many songs you can surf to perfectly. On the first day we got some cake for the drummer during the concert because it was his birthday and he was really happy about it tho it was a joke candle and you couldn’t blow it out (I bought them by mistake). At night we were so loud that the security came to our hotel room. :D  On the next day we went to Bremen and it really was a rough concert. The pogo was hard and I was pushed against the stage several times, also stagediving was complicated because people would throw you. Furthermore it was really fucking hot and I was in fear of me life because there were some really big and agressived ad drunk dudes in the moshpit. We left kinda early because R. didn’t feel well and we still had to drive one hour.  Then we went to Bielefeld (yes, and it is of course a big UFO landing field, just nobody wants to believe it...) where we had the best hotel room ever. It looked like an IKEA flat. We got pizza to our room and then went to the venue where it was already fucking hot inside when we arived and it got even hotter during the concert. We all sweated so much that our clothes were soaking wet afterwards. But this was really the best concert of the four ones we attended. (If I get ill again it’s R.s fault becaue he offered me his drink and then told me he had a fever that day and still has a really sore throat. And basically everyone else had a cold too, lol.) I talked a lot to him and we cuddled nearly the whole night and he showered me with compliments - it was incredible and I felt so loved and valid. He’s such a good and wholesome man - he deserves everything. We stayed backstage until like midnight and then walked to our hotel.  The last concert was in Köln but we stayed in Leverkusen because the hotels are much cheaper than in Köln. We got some roses (in the store was a guy who bought red roses for 110€ lmao) and chocolate for R. and B. as thank-you gift and some Jägermeister for A. because it was his last concert. The show started slow but after like five songs the crowd was as hot as the other days and I even went stagediving again tho the stage is like 1.50m high. For the last song we had sparklers that everyone loved. Afterwards we sat backstage and just talked and I ate the fucking best couscous salad ever. 

All in all it was awesome and I’m so thankful for knowing these amazing guys and always having fun at their concerts and especially I’m fucking thankful for R. I don’t know what I would be without him - I can’t stress this enough.