#but i really really cannot live my entire life

[fandomnerd9602]

all that matters

a Lost/Found story

Wanda Maximoff x Stark!Reader

You had a rough 48 hours. You lost the love of your life, Wanda Maximoff, at the hands of Kang, got pruned by the TVA, woke up in a lost place between space and time called the Void, found a resistance in said Void, got reunited with your little witch, and now you find yourselves in the presence of one Wade Wilson and James ‘Logan’ Howlett - the eponymous Deadpool and Wolverine.

And sadly the Merc with the Mouth wouldn’t shut up. You found yourself sitting in the makeshift resistance base with Wanda sitting snuggly in your lap. The moment would be great if only Wade would stop talking.

“I’m saying it would be great! Huge slow mo fights! Who cares if you live or die!” He tried to pitch it to the rest of the team.

“You want us to go back there and kick Cassandra Nova’s ass?” Johnny Storm asked with a chuckle.

“It’s suicide,” Blade spoke up.

“Aintnowaythatwomangonnagodowneasy” Gambit chimed in.

You looked to Wanda, she looked to you. “We’re in” you state.

“Really?” Wade asked with a shocked expression

“Yes” Wanda states while caressing your face. “We’re Avengers, we keep fighting no matter what”

“I do what she does just a little bit slower” you admit with a smirk. “My armor is just the boots and gauntlets but they work”

“An ending” Elektra says.

“Legacy” Blade responds with a smile.

“I was born ready” Gambit states as he flips a card of his.

“Let’s f—king go” Laura smirks

“Let’s f—king go!!” Wade exclaims.

The night came fast. The entire resistance was readying themselves. Gambit was readying his bo staff and deck of cards. Elektra grabbed her sai blades. Blade readied himself with his entire armory. Johnny was looking over a photo of his old team - the Fantastic Four. Wade was, well being Wade. Logan was lost in a drunken stupor out by a campfire. Laura went out to go talk with him.

And that brings it to you and Wanda. You found a wrecked 70s era Sentinel out behind the resistance base, a few modifications and it would be ready for combat. Wanda was in deep meditation, trying to focus her powers. But she couldn’t focus. Her mind was on you.

Wanda crept into the makeshift lab you made.

“You know I can sense you right?” you say with a smirk.

“you cannot” she chuckles.

“I know. I just wanted to see if you’d fall for it” you finished up on the broken Sentinel. “I never thought I’d see you again, Wanda”

“I never thought I’d see you” she says, tears forming in her eyes. “Losing you to Kang was the worst feeling in the entire multiverse. H-How do I know you’re my (Y/N)? Really mine.”

You set down your tools and walk towards her, you pull her to you by her hips, just like how she always liked it. She gasps. With your other hand, you caress her face, your thumb moving across her cheek. She hummed in delight.

“I love you in every universe” you whisper in her ear, “but I bet not every Wanda would react that way”

“And not every (Y/N) would know what makes me feel the way you do” she responds with a teary smile.

“I lost you once. Never again, my little witch”

“My detka!” Wanda cries before hugging you tight. You were hers.

You just hug her tight, not wanting to let go. You could spend an eternity in her arms and it still wouldn’t be enough.

“Will you just hold me tonight?” She asks softly.

“Of course”

You guide her to a little military cot and lay down. Wanda just nuzzles into your arms, a perfect fit.

Tomorrow has its own worries and battles. Tomorrow you and Wanda would be battling Cassandra Nova. Tomorrow you would be finding out if you and your witch would get home or not.

But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was tonight. For tonight, you had Wanda back in your arms. You had your Scarlet Witch back.

Tags @lifespectator @supercorpdanbeau @deafeningsharkslimeempath @scarletquake-n7 @ma1egamer @russianredassassin @family-house-of-m

[hannieehaee]

Idk if you're taking requests but I would give it a short and it would mean so much if you actually wrote smthg bout it.

An angsty fic/drabble where woozi and reader are in a long term established relationship and the reader gets their absolute dream job opportunity but it's far from Korea and she tells it to woozi but they get conflicted since woozi cannot transfer between his work and seventeen and reader does not want to give up this once in a life time opportunity. At the same time they are sceptical about a long distance relationship since reader had already been fed up of how less they get to see and stay with woozi with him travelling and working constantly.

You don't have to write it if it's too complex but I'd love to see cuz I really like the way you write!

content: idol!woozi x nonidol!reader, established relationship, light angst, fluff, long distance relationship, etc.

wc: 716

a/n: thank u so much!! im so sorry for how long i took to get this out!!

masterlist

it'd been a week since you told jihoon about your new work opportunity. a week since the air in your apartment became just a little bit colder and the future slightly more grim.

jihoon had been supportive immediately, congratulating you and insisting on you accepting the position. he'd been as supportive a boyfriend as he'd been in the past two years of your relationship. it filled you with warmth and hope for the future of your relationship.

it wasn't until you'd let him know of the location of said job that things became more sad than hopeful.

although he still maintained his supportiveness, there was now a clear air of worry in his voice any time it'd get brought up.

you'd tried to ignore it, pushing it aside until you found the courage in you to actually accept the position. it was your dream job. a once in a lifetime opportunity. except it was an entire country away from the love of your life. and you only had three more days to accept the offer letter they'd sent to you.

the thought of doing long distance would have been fine had you been anyone else. but you barely got to see your boyfriend as it was. living with him was really the only way for you to spend time together. his busy idol schedule had him going all over the world, and when he was at home he was usually ever at the company or in your shared apartment.

if you left, you'd give up on ever getting to see him.

"babe."

the voice took you away from your train of thought. the same train of thought distracting you for the past week.

you looked away from the tv that had been playing in front of you. you hadn't even been watching it, but the background noise helped.

jihoon was at the entrance of the living room, two mugs in hand as he walked over to you and took his usual seat, silently handing you your mug with a tight smile.

not even a single sip from your drink was taken before the subject filled the room once more.

"you need to take this job."

"jihoon ..."

"no, listen," he turned his body to face you, "you and i, we're a forever thing, okay? i don't care if we have to be away for a while. i'm already living my dream, it's unfair that you don't get to do the same," he argued with conviction in his eyes.

"but, jihoon ... it won't be like when you're touring. we'll never be in the same country at the same time, i-"

his hands went to take your mug, placing it on the coffee table before taking your hands into his own.

"i don't care!", his voice raised without meaning to, "so we'll have a year or two in which we can't be as close as we've always been, so what? it won't matter in the grand scheme of things. we'll be together for forty- no fifty years. a few years of uncertainty won't matter a few years from now. babe, please."

his voice pleaded at you.

he was afraid you'd end it all instead of at least trying.

what made it worse that he refused to consider a possibility in which you didn't go and follow your dream. it was a done deal to him. he loved you that much.

that was all you needed to make a decision.

"i'll take the job," you said decisively.

jihoon released a sigh of relief right away, hand squeezing your own in encouragement.

"i-i'll rent a place big enough for the two of us over there. i'll ask for a week off every six months. i'll have it written into my contract so i can go visit you. and- and we'll keep this place here for any time you have time off. we'll call every night, no matter what. even if it's just for two minutes, we'll- we'll make it work."

all you could do was smile at him.

how could you ever worry about change when he was willing to work so hard to move along with it all?

you kissed him then, shutting him up with no words.

and he understood, kissing you back with just as much unspoken love.

[family-wisam]

Hello everyone

My name is Wissam Murtaja, from Gaza. I am 42 years old, married, and have 4 children, 3 girls and a boy. I live in war, fear and destruction. We were displaced from our home in Gaza in November 2023 to the city of Khan Yunis, then to Rafah, then we were displaced to Mawasi Khan Yunis after the ground operation on Rafah. Every time I was displaced to another place, I prayed that this would be the last. We were very tired and exhausted. Our bodies, we no longer have the energy to continue. We lived through hunger, thirst, cold, and all the difficult conditions that a person cannot imagine. We did not imagine that a day would come when we would live through all of this. I previously lost my home in the 2014 war, and now I have lost my home again in the 2023 war. I lived a beautiful life, suddenly I don't know what happened. We live in a small tent made of nylon in a situation that no human being can bear. Just standing in it for more than two minutes during the day is enough to melt you, in addition to insects, diseases and lack of privacy. Imagine all this!! Can you live??

In addition to that, I was injured by a Quadcopter plane in January 2024 in my foot, and there are no hospitals to receive treatment. I do not know where to get treatment for my wound. I am the only one who takes care of my children.

I'm really afraid of losing and I don't want to lose. I lost a big part of my home, my job, and my entire previous life.

Things here are more difficult than you can imagine. The reality is painful. We wake up every day to the smell of death, massacres, and martyrs. Please help me save my life and the lives of my wife and children, get out of Gaza, and find a safe place to live.

Your donation will save my life, this is the only way.

[weasm-82]

Hello everyone

My name is Wissam Murtaja, from Gaza. I am 42 years old, married, and have 4 children, 3 girls and a boy. I live in war, fear and destruction. We were displaced from our home in Gaza in November 2023 to the city of Khan Yunis, then to Rafah, then we were displaced to Mawasi Khan Yunis after the ground operation on Rafah. Every time I was displaced to another place, I prayed that this would be the last. We were very tired and exhausted. Our bodies, we no longer have the energy to continue. We lived through hunger, thirst, cold, and all the difficult conditions that a person cannot imagine. We did not imagine that a day would come when we would live through all of this. I previously lost my home in the 2014 war, and now I have lost my home again in the 2023 war. I lived a beautiful life, suddenly I don't know what happened. We live in a small tent made of nylon in a situation that no human being can bear. Just standing in it for more than two minutes during the day is enough to melt you, in addition to insects, diseases and lack of privacy. Imagine all this!! Can you live??

In addition to that, I was injured by a Quadcopter plane in January 2024 in my foot, and there are no hospitals to receive treatment. I do not know where to get treatment for my wound. I am the only one who takes care of my children.

I'm really afraid of losing and I don't want to lose. I lost a big part of my home, my job, and my entire previous life.

Things here are more difficult than you can imagine. The reality is painful. We wake up every day to the smell of death, massacres, and martyrs. Please help me save my life and the lives of my wife and children, get out of Gaza, and find a safe place to live.

Your donation will save my life, this is the only way.

[ai-the-broccoli]

I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU RB'D THE DEATH NOTE ASK MEME uhhh. 23 and 24 maybe?

ooooh thanks!!!

23. what was your favorite moment and why?

"oooh that's a very hard question" ...is what I might've said, if this wasn't the light yagami animanga series and light yagami makes me insane. uhhh. I do have several though, if that's allowed.

(update: when I said "several" I meant uh. a lot apparently. whoops)

favourite line / favourite moment in a "holy wow this is amazing thematically": the. y'know. "Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, have you ever told the truth?" line in the anime rain scene. yeah. holy fuck that is amazing because I LOVE that sort of thing. as far as character traits go, there's like nothing I love more than characters that are liars who lie lyingly (multiple types of this apply). it's truly, truly the best.

favourite moments based on what I repeatedly rewatched immediately following my first watch of the anime: there are, uh. three (in no particular order)

light goes home from the entrance ceremony, incredibly stone-faced (like 😐) the entire way -> gets home, gets up the stairs, opens the door, shuts the door, sits down on his chair, suddenly starts shaking -> blows up "Dammit! He got me! Damn L! I have never been so humiliated in my life!" (even Ryuk comments internally that he's never seen him lose his composure so much) -> suddenly laughs and calms down talking about how it's a battle of wits now and he'll make L trust him and kill him, with his own hands if necessary. i rewatched this several times in a row which was definitely very normal of me.

look at him. grumpy but in like an extremely restrained way (his face is even hidden). until it breaks completely in the next page lol

the last episode. light trying so hard not to laugh/smirk in the warehouse, then he reveals himself as kira (a lot of laughing), and he loses and falls pathetically, shouting for kiyomi and mikami and misa after matsuda shoots him, and then runs in the beautiful sunset, passing his younger high school self by, and seeing a vision of L before he dies on the stairs. all this is great and i did an immediate rewatch of this episode after finishing it

the Relight scene where Light laughs on top of L's grave soil. it's conceptually fucked up in an amazing way that really really appeals to me. murder and grave desecration are really romantic/beautiful/erotic on principle.

as you can see I am very normal. as you can see I am a very normal Light Yagami fan. one of those two statements may be unironically true, but the two statements inherently cannot go together. anyway this particular selection of scenes totally doesn't actually say anything about me right but anyway I'm right those are totally the best please torture light some more everyone

favourite moments I didn't immediately repeatedly rewatch/reread like that but are still my absolute top favourites:

The entire first episode because DAMN did it hook me completely very, very fast. I did NOT know there was going to be Faustian contract + god complex&general big ego + everything else in one in this little and very infamous character known as "Light Yagami". my expectations were blown instantly and I got obsessed with DN right away

L and Light declaring war on each other over the live broadcast and L asking and taunting Light/Kira to kill him. amazing. it was really... gay. sorry I can't think of a better word lmfao

L's death scene oh my god. GOD I loved (and was really really amazed/impressed by by) Light rushing to him at once and basically lying on top of him for a second, so that he will die in his arms. GOD. it is SO. like yeah this is literally my favourite sort of thing holy shit it is amazing (it's to gloat to him and to declare victory before his death, and it's to pretend to the Task Force too, and yet it seemed like such an instinctual reaction really that I think his first instinct really IS to hold him in his arms before he dies. this is really good). and the dramatic performance afterwards. I love it

on a COMPLETELY different note. JESUS CHRIST I love Soichiro's death scene actually. because holy fuck the multi-layered irony. I really love it. actually I think I wrote about that scene long before I even really wrote anything else about DN. alright here:

idk if I still 100% agree with my initial impression but it should still overall hold and MAN. I definitely loved it (<- fan of irony) (<- extremely, extremely normal Light Yagami fan) (<- fan of Soichiro also, to a lesser extent)

favourite moment that gave me a lot of thoughts when I'm reading the manga: (even though I already first watched the anime and this stuff is also in the anime)

the moment where Rem is like "okay I will kill L" and Light, person who has been plotting this exact murder for ages, is like. Oh shit. he'll die...? which is. man. Light sure is Light

like look at his face here!

favourite manga-exclusive moments:

Light not considering killing Sayu. Light asking Soichiro to promise him to come back alive with Sayu. that scene afterwards where Soichiro is at home thinking he should die. (at least I think those weren't in the anime?)

the manga ending is also good

I like that the manga tells us he lost weight and has nightmares due to using the death note. (it possibly has happened to anime light too but we don't get to see it)

not a "favorite moment" exactly, but while the scene is beautiful I don't like Misa dying in the end despite how much I adore everything else in that episode, so I like that Misa doesn't canonically die like that in the manga

favourite anime-exclusive moments:

rain scene and footwashing scene yes obviously

everything about Light being "haunted" after L's death. aside from the aforementioned Light dying scene, I really like the anime

I love the anime ending too

also hmm this might be a less popular opinion, but personally I also love some of anime Light's characterization tidbits that differs from the manga (e.g. first episode). I would say it's because it's maybe very slightly more relatable for me but that probably sounds wack lmao so

favourite moments based on how comedic I find them: (not including ones I already included in other sections) DN is such an amazing comedy I'm not even kidding

the whole handcuffs thing oh my god. homophobic misa moment. I didn't think she'd actually call him gay, but there it was. also just fken. buddy. L??????? why and how and in what world was there an absolute need for this totally normal, totally appropriate, absolutely most safe and most ideal method of interrogating criminals. I was laughing because god. that's not even. yeah okay I'm happy with it but LMFAO YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. and Light just easily went along with it

the... the... first date scene. I was like oh my god c'MON you two. I didn't think something like this would be so like this in the actual canon manga. first date where Misa is being thirdwheeled while Light and L sit together chained together and then they focus all energy on talking to each other and then they get into a fist fight (date activity) all over the room. combined with the later dunking on matsuda. this is LITERALLY how a fucking sitcom goes at this point.

the anime's footwashing also. not the scene itself necessarily but just the fact that it fucking exists between lawlight and is. Like THAT????? lmfao like what the hell

ALSO the. fken. Matsuda fake death scene lmfao it was so wack in retrospect

live Ryuk reactions + "hey Light can we play Mario Golf? can we play Mario Golf Light? come on let's play a match of Mario Golf"

man I can't even include all of it here because Light Yagami is so entertaining to me in 85%+ of all the scenes she appears in in one way or another like his existence itself is peak entertainment to me. it's entertaining when Light is humiliated and it's entertaining when he's succeeding. and like I mean, he's the protagonist of the whole manga / show, and I mean I can't list every moment in the series can I. lmao

favourite moments that don't have light yagami in it: I'm sorry everyone else but I am especially obsessed with light. as you can see. however I love many other characters too

Kiyomisa dinner kiyomisa fighting !!!

(technically this includes light but) matsuda shooting light

misa being unexpectedly smart (compared to her wider reputation) (the higuchi car scene! and others) is also nice

idk if it makes sense but. the scene where Rem and Misa mention the way a Shinigami can die, and Misa admits to thinking about killing Rem like it's. just very Neat. I like the vibes here and Misa is very beautiful (related to the dialogue about love and killing. yeah)

also!! I love the meronia moments

and then I recently got myself into soichello so actually yeah. the soichiro mello scenes too. very good

24. any headcanons you want to share?

uhhhhhhhhhhh hmmm. man what's a headcanon I haven't properly shared on tumblr before, and also isn't like a take that is shared and often discussed by tons of people around here already?

... fine okay let's do this finally.

neurodivergence + mental illnesses headcanons

[disclaimer: please read this post first. if you disagree, you can skip over this and skip to the next section!]

aside from OCD and autism, imo Light has NPD with some ASPD traits, and also bipolar. this is because the way his mental illnesses are is like. I feel represented lol. (not as in I have every one of those things I listed, but I probably have some/most of them, and the combinations are interesting). even though this is unfortunately Light Yagami. but I really like him for that too tbh because man. I don't get to see that stuff often. (like idk how to explain it. even though I'd never even remotely pull that kinda stuff because of differences in personalities, values, background, abilities, and manifestation and degree of symptoms, etc. however some of his mannerisms sometimes feel right on point e.g. I feel like the way he is like sometimes gives me depression + hypomanic/manic vibes, in a way where I can see myself in him if it makes sense lmao)

on that note Misa 100% very BPD I agree. I wanna say on top of autism, L also seems to have some ASPD traits imo. Near is autistic but I think that goes without saying lol. Mello has like... C-PTSD and/or NPD. and then this probably not a very unexpected take, but Matsuda has ADHD or audhd vibes. OH and! Soichiro also very much has OCD and autism, imo.

other headcanons:

not a hot take, but Mello and Near are both nonbinary and/or genderqueer (and/or otherwise trans, if not applicable) to me (could be transmasc or transfem, not necessarily transneutral; I could see either or any direction among those, although I would say I lean toward seeing Near as transfem and/or nonbinary, and Mello as transmasc and/or genderqueer).

Light is demi, and has had a covert superiority complex about not feeling attraction unlike his peers (like. you can view him deciding to use porn mag reading to prove himself as a normal teenage boy as indicative of his subconscious? mental association of his more "normal" peers as, like.... unfortunate horny perverts. in a way. if that makes sense) I know how it feels because I was kinda like this in grade 6-8

man I definitely have other ideas too but I'm drawing a blank at the moment partly because it's late and I still haven't eaten lunch lmao. I will continue to post my thoughts and headcanons in the future, so tune in by clicking on the subscribe butto- *gets shot*

ask game

[bpdbunnyy4ngel]

.

[gingermintpepper]

hi, i haven't read the iliad and the odyssey but want to - do u have a specific translation you recommend? the emily wilson one has been going around bc, y'know, first female translator of the iliad and odyssey into english, but i was wondering on if you had Thoughts

Hi anon! Sorry for the somewhat late response and I'm glad you trust me with recommendations! Full, disclosure, I am somewhat of a traditionalist when it comes to translations of the source text of the Iliad + Odyssey combo wombo, which means I tend to prefer closeness in literal verbiage over interpretation of the poetic form of these epics - for that reason, my personal preferred versions of the Odyssey and Iliad both are Robert Fitzgerald's. Because both of these translations (and his Aeneid!) were done some 50+ years ago (63 for his original Odyssey tl, 50 flat for his Iliad and 40 for his Aeneid) the English itself can be a bit difficult to read and the syntax can get confusing in a lot of places, so despite my personal preferences, I wouldn't recommend it for someone who is looking to experience the Iliad + Odyssey for the very first time.

For an absolute beginner, someone who has tried to read one or both of these epics but couldn't get into it or someone who has a lot of difficulty with concentrating on poetry or long, winding bits of prose, I fully and wholeheartedly recommend Wilson's translation! See, the genius of Emily Wilson's Iliad + Odyssey isn't that she's a woman who's translated these classics, it's that she's a poet who's adapted the greek traditional poetic form of dactylic hexameter into the english traditional poetic form of iambic pentameter. That alone goes a very very long way to making these poems feel more digestible and approachable - iambic pentameter is simply extremely comfortable and natural for native english speakers' brains and the general briskness of her verbiage helps a lot in getting through a lot of the problem books that people usually drop the Iliad or Odyssey in like Book 2 of the Iliad or Book 4 of the Odyssey. I think it's a wonderful starting point that allows people to familiarise themselves with the source text before deciding if they want to dig deeper - personally, researching Wilson's translation choices alone is a massive rabbit hole that is worth getting into LOL.

The happy medium between Fitzgerald's somewhat archaic but precise syntax and Wilson's comfortable meter but occasionally less detailled account is Robert Fagles' Iliad + Odyssey. Now, full disclosure, I detest how Fagles handles epithets in both of his versions, I think they're far too subtle which is something he himself has talked at length about in his translation notes, but for everything else - I'd consider his translations the most well rounded of english adaptations of this text in recent memory. They're accurate but written in plain English, they're descriptive and detailled without sacrificing a comfortable meter and, perhaps most importantly, they're very accessible for native english speaking audiences to approach and interact with. I've annotated my Fagles' volumes of these books to heaven and back because I'm deeply interested in a lot of the translation decisions made, but I also have to specifically compliment his ability to capture nuance in the characters' of these poems in a way I don't often see. He managed to adapt the ambivalence of ancient greek morality in a way I scarcely see and that probably has a hand in why I keep coming back to his translations.

Now, I know this wasn't much of a direct recommendation but as I do not know you personally, dear anon, I can't much make a direct recommendation to a version that would best appeal to your style of reading. Ideally, I'd recommend that you read and enjoy all three! But, presuming that you are a normal person, I suggest picking which one is most applicable for you. I hope this helps! 🥰

[aroaceleovaldez]

Every description about Nico (especially the canon ones) describing him as “cold” can personally fight me. Nico is jaded, yes, and often closed-off and sometimes stand-offish and defensive but he is not "cold”. He cares SO SO SO MUCH about EVERYONE. He loves and cares with his entire heart constantly and that is a core part of his character. He doesn’t often make public shows of his affection but he takes care to be kind when it matters and doesn’t hide that he does care (usually, the only exception really being him being in the closet, but even then he only hid his crush specifically and not the fact that Percy is important to him). He fine with hugging his friends in front of a crowd and will sit with strangers at a campfire just so they’re not alone. I mean, heck, he’s an extrovert! We know this! He actively seeks out people and gets lonely very quickly and easily! If he can’t talk to living people he will chat with the dead! That’s how much he thrives on being social!

The only time Nico has ever been actively “cold” was the couple of months between TTC and BoTL when he was actively mourning Bianca. Nico is not “cold.” He loves so much and he does show it, just in his own way.

[rabbithaver]

every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space

i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !

[lloydfrontera]

if i think too long about the ending making lloyd leave the home he worked so hard to save behind along with the new found family he sacrificed his life for so he can move to a place he has no emotional connection to where he only knows two people (one of which is actually following him from the aforementioned home) in order to make him get a standard "have a wife and children" 'happy' ending i start wanting to bite people not gonna lie

[hauntedwoman]

as badly as i want to avoid my mom she is making it extremely difficult

[greatloss]

@7iktor. . . 𝚅𝙸𝙺𝚃𝙾𝚁 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚂.

❛ i wish i knew how to talk about it. ❜

the silence breaks as only the seventh could break it : short and sweet. he almost expected more, after so long, as if time had swallowed up the familiar cadence of this brother beside him already ; more volume, more noise, but the bar is quiet this time of day, daylight drifting dots past the windows that don't quite reach viktor. or maybe it's exactly what he expected, just less. . . solid. now, still, sure ; viktor used to inhabit an almost dear in headlights - like stocism that was likely medically induced in hindsight, but brittle. like a breeze would just blow him away.

but there viktor sits, body planted heavy in the booth, eyes unflinching, unthreatening. unthreatened. still viktor, just. . . more viktor. “ there aren't words for some things, ” he answers, careful, gaze subtle and searching. a wince, maybe. five may have helped kick them all to the space - time continuum curb more - so than the others, but every one of them left of their own accord. old habits. five doesn't know much, but he knows viktor wasn't exactly keen on visits, at least one - way. although, five wasn't so keen as to pay viktor a visit himself until now, was he ? “ i'm sorry i haven't really given you the opportunity to until now. ” words were more viktor's forte. you could fill a book with words five couldn't say. i know you were about to accidentally end the world, but i'm really sorry about that time i threatened to kill you and also ruined your life ? and that other time i threatened to kill you and ruined your life— what was it, three times ? riveting.

[mcalhenwrites]

I'm not going to pretend it doesn't make me angry that I spend months and years trying to peddle my work to make ends meet, that I spend so much time mentioning my books and comms and everything, and people ignore that consisently... But the moment I finally break under the hopelessness - when it's obvious that it's fucking futile, that almost no one deems my work good enough to share with anyone else - suddenly they're concerned and scolding me. I'm working several jobs, bathing, generally keeping things clean, and I do this with several health problems including chronic pain. I found out that one of my cysts is growing and I may need to have it surgically removed. Which means potentially missing work to recover. Which means more money I lose. I spend so much time crawling out of the hole and it goes ignored, but the moment I just give up bc I don't have any strength left, suddenly that's my fault and I'm mentally sick. And that kind of makes me wish my entire situation upon people, and when they whine that it's hard, well fuck you, you thought I could ace it so surely you can, babe! I hate being angry about this, but it's just so exhausting to tell people who accuse me of not trying that I HAVE I HAVE SO FUCKING HARD AND YOU DID NOT PAY ATTENTION THEN Or you know you're attempting to gaslight me by claiming I didn't try despite that I obviously have worked my ass off trying, and that's so much fucking worse

[moss-sauce]

life really fucking sucks right now

[acaciapines]

i need to talk about the dess raises kris au. or im gonna explode.

[pollenallergie]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Made of Millions Foundation (@madeofmillions)

hi, yes, everything about this. i fucking hate the tiktokification and twitterification of mental health terminology and this precisely fucking why!! because it’s so goddamn dangerous and it’s setting us back literal decades!!!