#sounds better in swedish
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#like yeah i should bc my other name#sounds better in swedish#and im gonna have to keep living my life here in sweden#and go to school and ghet a job lmao#im not gonna get to live with him as i had hopef#hoped%***#so just gotta do whats best here and now i guess#fucking hate everything bro#im so attached to that name and so reluctant to chgange#just bc im fucking obsessed w him saying my name and calling me that#and BEING her to him.#but i really really cannot live my entire life#and devote my entire existence#to a man who has a gf and will build a ölife with another person#i cannot live like that i just cant that will kill me i need to let go even if i dont wanna
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guy who's heard a handful of love songs: The Book of Love is truly one of the most beautiful compositions of all time. it not only made a massive impact on the indie music scene but also changed my life
guy who's heard all 69 love songs: you guys need to hop on Wi' Nae Wee Bairn Ye'll Me Beget
#full disclosure i originally wrote this about it's a crime but it sounded better this way. swedish reggae 🔥🔥🔥🔥#but also: me when i turn into a threshing machine and tear that bird apart 🔥🔥🔥🔥#the magnetic fields
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no one is allowed to tell louis “GIRL GET UP 🗣️” ever again. no one is getting up after this
#girl because why do i KNOW his fleetwood mac fuckass swedish pop hairbun elton john feathers charli neon is ACTUAL venus fly trap pussy#HE'S LIKE ABUSE INTERPOLATION CENTRAL. HE'S WHERE ALL THE ABUSE TRAINS COME IN TO GO TO BED#HES THE THOMAS TANK ENGINE AND ITS RUNNING ON GASLIGHT I KNOW THIS WE ALL KNOW THIS#and then he cries on tv in an interview blooper not even sound on. and I'm like can someone check if he's okay? 🥺🔙 im scared he ok???#nobody is getting up. this isn't a love story or a horror story this is about the dangers of the white and french. get them off screen NOW#frantz tried to tell you and you didn't listen#the things he's doing to my perception are narratively diegetic but I thought I was better than this. i thought I'D escape the lamp#I'm so sorry miss Louis de Pointe du Lac de Winters I was not familiar with your mans game....#inner child family systems therapy won't help you leave mrs louis. we need to kill him#v#PV#fucking hell. fucked#iwtv
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Sometimes it saddens me to think about swedish being a very word-poor language..
Other times I look at english's your and right out weep
(swedish translations for the word your:
)
#HOW do you look at 8 Completely different words and think hmm let's combine these into one giant super-word that means nothing#fuck english#also. I Hate how you decide to make fully inversed sentences for no reason 'here comes the bus' auxV mV det N BULLSHIT#this is not even touching on the atrocious spelling#i mean swedish has the sch sounds to worry about (sj k tj sch (...) all sounds the same) but english does the same. Except it's Every Word#i need a tag for my own posts so i can laugh at myself in 2 weeks when i'm a better person
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on todays episode of "mental health issues that could easily be solved by one single thing that i dont have", GET A MICROWAVE!!!
i just know SO many of my eating related issues (not all obviously but a LOT of them) would be solved if this house just had a goddamn microwave
today i ate like... 1/4th of those small frozen pizzas, 1/3rd of a grilled cheese, and 1/3rd bowl of macaroni and meatballs. and yall wanna know why i didnt eat the whole thing of any of them? its cause my stupid adhd ass took too long to eat and the food got cold. and then i Cannot Eat That anymore. so even though i was still hungry i didnt eat the rest of it and just went back to rotting on youtube shorts and being too hungry to do anything and feeling dumb and unproductive and being guilty of making food that i dont eat. just... feeling like a big ol' waste
but the thing is, if i just
✨owned a microwave✨
i could just reheat the motherfucking food and still eat it and not feel like ive wasted that food. ((because since that food is wasted i feel guilty about making it, so i dont make any more food until next meal time, but then i didnt finish that either cause im stupid and eat too slow.))
but we dont have a microwave. only an oven. and yeah maybe i couldve reheated the 3/4th pizza or the grilled cheese in the oven, but then again the oven uses a lot of electricity. and my mom is always complaining that i turn the oven on, forget that its on for a while, and that im wasting electricity. and i was too tired and hungry to deal with that possibility. plus with the oven theres a chance i forget it too long or have it too hot and burn the food and that would just make me feel worse
but we dont have a microwave, because my mom thinks having a microwave leads to "eating more unhealthy foods that you just heat up" instead of "real food". so i didnt reheat any of my food. so i didnt eat it. it got to the point where it got cold and gross so i just threw it in the trash and hope my mom or grandma doesnt notice.
but if i had a microwave, i couldve reheated that food. and i couldve eaten it. ((and yeah, maybe i wouldnt have ate the whole thing, but maybe half at least? that counts right? well it dont really matter if it counts or not cause it didnt happen.))
and then maybe i wouldnt have been feeling like im gonna faint the whole day and maybe i wouldve gotten literally anything done instead of just scrolling on pinterest and youtube shorts for hours and feeling worthless. and maybe if i ate i wouldnt have hurt myself today
but nope. no microwave. it leads to "unhealthy" habits. i guess not eating enough to count as even ONE full meal is healthier since its not "microwave food"
thanks mom
#tw eating issues#tw self harm#btw to my irl friends. if you see this no you did not#sorry honey if you see this. cause i know you like my mom and think shes really nice#which she is!! most of the time aha#the hurting myself happened bc i usually have sprinkled cheese on my macaroni and meatballs#but i used all the cheese in the sandwich that i binned#which made me feel like such a fucking idiot and a waste#so i started crying#and i took the metal lid from the boiling macaroni pot and pressed it to me leg for like 10 seconds straight#fun fact: im really good at muffling any sound when im in pain. haha#it didnt feel like enough though. my knife drawer had stuff infront of it but theres a loose screw on my table#so i ripped that across my skin a couple times#some blood came out but not “enough” pain#so then i had the very strong urge to hurt MORE#and intrusively imagined what id be like to take a knife and drive it into my stomach#which was a little shocking cause i havent had THAT thought in a while#AND THEN i remembered i have my swedish final on monday and i have to make a speech and i havent even chosen a topic yet#and that ill have to meet the swedish teacher that is the reason for the only times i have ever cried or cut at school#and then i had another like... daydream hallucination thing about telling my asshole swedish teacher#that the reason i dont have a speech is cause i realised id see him on monday and wanted to kms :3#kinda still feel like cutting and i scratched myself with the sharp screw a bit more but at least venting about this helped a little#yall if i look my teacher in the eyes and tell him he makes me want to kms and that his behavior and attitude HAS made me cut myself#and that i pray to god he treats his own children better than he treats his students#think hed let me skip the test? yes or no?#god i feel so dizzy rn#but i dont wanna make more food and have to throw it away. i wish we had snacks in this house#wish’s whispers#personal vent#this was a lot of tags aha
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Half snow storm this morning and two cars collided on my street so the buses wouldn’t go past there. It’s windy, it snows like hell, the buses won’t go. I had a very good reason to stay at home. But I’m from up north and therefore there’s something wrong with me so I thought fuck it I’ll just bundle up and walk to the bus station because I really should go to the lecture. To make a long story short hell has indeed frozen over and I am living in it and also I’m an idiot
#there’s a swedish saying that goes there is no bad weather there are only bad clothes#it rhymes in swedish so it sounds better but anyway my point is that it’s a lie and you shouldn’t listen if someone tells you this#also it’s barely snowing anymore. it was horrible this morning and i could only see a few meters in front of me#but now everything’s fucking fine and i’m left wondering why it had to be so terrible when i had to leave the same comfort of my home
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catching up with dracula daily/re: dracula and why does van helsing sound like that…
#I’ve been taking the other ‘foreign’ accents with a grain of salt bc I don’t know enough about them to judge if they’re accurate or not#but What is up with the rhythm of his speech it half sounds like bad imitation swedish…#the choice of using both th-stopping & th-alveolarisation is. interesting too#esp since the latter is—in my experience—rare in dutch accents#plus the way the va pronounces the ‘o’s really reveals that he’s british lol#elli rambles#I could do this way better <- someone whose voice does not in fact pass for a man’s#though it could add a—to me really funny—layer of van helsing being trans#diversity win!
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I’ve been listening to it all day and “Himlen är oskyldigt blå” (Blue virgin isles in english) could totally be a Kaladin and Tien song. It’s all about brotherly love the sad nostalgia of looking back at a more innocent childhood after having faced the harsh realities of adult life
“That raindrops fall like tears do, is not the fault of the stars” “Darling I know what it’s like, when bridges to safety are burned” “Time has chased us into a corner, yet the sky is innocently blue”
“We were children that no evil could reach, the sky was so blue” “Now the clouds are gaining ground, I was blinded because the sun shined so bright” “But my eyes will always smile at you, can anything more be asked of me?”
And from the English version
“Rain keeps falling” “But when we were young, we chased the clouds from the sun” “Darling we fell to the ground, just like leaves when they’re brown” “Still I remember your face with a smile”
#it’s commonly used for funerals#tho ironically wheather is very much not innocent on roshar#biggest mindfuck of looking up the lyrics is learning that the english version came first#the swedish is such a classic and much better#it doesn't sound like it when you directly translate to english tho lol#sry I am not professional
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i talked about Vasas flora och fauna in the tags of that previous post and guess what I discovered on Wikipedia?
Their debut album in 2012 was the first time someone's released serious music in Oestrobothnian Swedish. Not humour music (where having an obvious dialect is a big part of the joke), and not using general Fenno-Swedish, but in the real dialect that they speak
#and here i was wondering why it was difficult to find musicians who sound like me!#fucking wild#a small-ish community that still has Better people and their Better swedish#(fucking southern finlanders)#(because general Fenno-Swedish is pretty much key for What They Do On The Southern Coast)
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#thinkinn abt changing my name#i have thought about it for 3yrs#but honestly.... last year i got so sidetracked and everything in my life fell away#its just that i dont fkn care abt anything#but being in love and filling my life with that#was what happened bc it is what i need and want lol#but now im like ok... back into the empty hollow of my so called life#my id card expires in mid november#so i have to send the application for name change now if i wanna do it#the thing is...#im attached to this name in english#it is nice sounding in english yeah. but in swedish is sounds like absolute garbage#i like the other name i've thought abt changing to foryears. it was what my mom was originally gonna call me#it soyunds better in swedish too#but tbh im also attached to it bc...#idk... feeling like her (that name) with him felt right and sounded right#and i loved that name in his mouth and him calling me that and it was nice and i couldve lived in that forever#but now thats gone#and tbh i cannot stay there all alone while he is gone and had left and is w someone else#i cant like not change my name simply bc it is painful that i will never hear him call me my new name#and i really did feelcomfortable inthat name and being her with him#but im never even gonna hear his voice again#am i just gonna listen to his old voice messages and cry and enjoy him calling me my name#while he has left and is in lobve with someone else#and is calling her HER name. no. i cant#i wanna cry just thinking abt that. i dont wanna let him or us go#but he made that choice for me and i cannot do anything abt it#no matter how fkn bad it hurts. how much i dont want to#im gonna have to move on and live my boring empty ass life without him lol#so yeah.. i should change my name
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the five stages of grief: writer's edition
denial: "this draft is amazing. no need for edits. it’s practically perfect as is." you’re so confident that you close the document for the day, smiling like you’ve just discovered the next great american novel (or swedish, or british, whatever). plot hole? who is she?
anger: "why did i ever think this was good? this is garbage. i am garbage. my characters are flat, my dialogue is cringe, and my prose sounds like a robot swallowed a thesaurus and threw up on the page." rage-quit the doc and go aggressively scroll pinterest for "writing inspiration" that you will never use.
bargaining: "if i fix this one scene, the whole thing will click into place. i just need to write one more subplot, maybe five more chapters, a quick rewrite of the entire ending, and then it'll be fine. totally manageable." queue up 17 youtube videos on "how to fix your plot" that you play in the background while staring at your ceiling.
depression: "i will never finish this book. it’s doomed. i’m doomed. why do i even write? who let me have ideas?!" lay dramatically on your bed, considering taking up knitting or rock collecting instead. cry a little over how your characters deserve a better writer.
acceptance: "this is the best i can do right now, and that’s okay. i’ll take a break, come back with fresh eyes, and remember why i love this stupid, broken story." suddenly, your MC whispers something brilliant, and you're like wait… maybe i'm a genius after all.
and the cycle begins again. writing is a joy.
#writing#writeblr#writer problems#writing humor#writers on tumblr#writing memes#writing community#writing struggles#writer life#creative writing#writer things#writing motivation#ao3 writer#writer memes#writing is hard#on writing#writerblr#writers block#writing funny#writer thoughts#fiction writing#writer struggles#writing tips#writing advice#writer woes#writing woes#writer quotes#writing inspiration#plot problems#writer chaos
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NOT SO HAPPY HOLIDAYS - LN4
↳pt.2
christmas special
previous part next part
summary : Lando Norris’ teasing doesn’t stop on the slopes. With cold weather, bad skiing, lots of unwanted flirting (or at least that’s what lando thinks), and a soothing hot tub, another day in your new favorite christmas town is done.
og summary : Spending Christmas with my brothers best friend isn’t my ideal way to celebrate. With my parents in the maldives and my ex calling me non stop, I was hoping for a small town cozy christmas! I was going to get that with Max and his girlfriend until Lando Norris worked his way into the mix.
listen up : suggestive comments! dual pov! swearing! i’m starting to love this fr! comment to be on tag list <3
words : 3885
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Morning, Sunshine!” Lando Norris swings my door open, leaning against the door and smirking at me.
Max pops out behind him, “Time to hit the slopes!”
P is the third in my door frame, “Up and at ‘em!” I loudly groan and push my face back into my pillow. Fuck my weird friends and their urge to piss me off.
⋆༺
lando
P forces us all into a shop to look for hand warmers before we go on the slopes. I find a candy cane and pop it in my mouth while looking around mindlessly, not truly caring about the small things.
I find Y/n looking at the Christmas cards. I tug on her braid, her head dipping back as she yelps slightly. Turning to me with a stern look on her face she says, “Can’t you go bother Max for once?”
I grin, the candy between my teeth. “You’re so much nicer to look at though.” Her eyes roll and she turns back to the cards. I get closer, looking over her shoulder, “Late shopping?”
She eyes me, “Just looking.”
I hum to the Christmas music playing and reach over her shoulder to grab a card, “I like this one.”
She scoffs, looking at it with me, “Of course you do.” I laugh as I read the piece of paper.
It has a little Santa stuck in a chimney and reads, ‘I might not come down the chimney, but will surely go down on you.’
She does not find this as funny as me, but I still clock the smile on her face. She smells like cinnamon and peppermint, but that could also be my candy.
“What did you ask Mr Claus for christmas?” I ask her as she turns to face me fully.
“Definitely not dirty Christmas cards.” She scoffs, motioning to the others on the shelf, “My ex to stop calling me? My work to pay better? A trip to Paris?”
I raise a brow, “You know there’s a great little feature called ‘block’, right?” I only really heard the first thing she said. I joked about her ex but am not liking the sound of him calling her still.
She sighs, crossing her arms over her sweater, “What’d you ask for, then? A good start from pole?”
“Mmm, there’s my little comedian.” I feel like I'm in F1 twitter when I'm around her. Biting the end of my candy cane, I answer her question, “I asked for Someone to go down on.”
She lets out a genuine laugh, “You mean someone to go down on you?”
“No.” It’s quick because I mean it. Her brow raises slightly as I look her up and down before leaving her in the paper aisle. I’m serious too, but I left out the part that I’d hoped would be her.
“Bob!” Max says as I walk up to him and P, they’re staring at gloves. “Need your help mate, pink or yellow?”
“God I was better off with your sister.” I quickly turn, making my way back to Y/n.”
She’s still next to the cards, I see the back of her as I approach. But something’s… off. There’s a man I do not know, making her laugh…?
Fuck no.
I can’t see her face but I can see his, definitely not her type. Blonde, blue eyes, swedish? Who cares.
I switch my candy cane to the other side of my mouth, walking up with one hand in my pocket and an annoying smile on my face.
The guy sees me and his smile instantly fades. I stand behind Y/n again as I hear her sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“You’re Lando Norris.”
I blink, pulling the candy cane out of my mouth and looking him dead in the eye, “I don’t know who that is.”
He says an awkward goodbye and just as I think Y/n is going to yell at me, she turns, laughing. “You’re an ass.”
Her laugh makes something inside of me warm, “Yeah, I know.”
Max and P pop into our aisle, “I chose yellow!” Max smiles as his eyes move between the two of us.
I step around her, getting far before Max senses anything, “Perfect bro, really your color.” Y/n says sarcastically as she follows me out.
P gives us both a look as I stare down the blonde one last time.
⋆༺
I’m snowboarding with P while Max and Y/n are Skiing. I try not to laugh at Y/n as she falls on her ass but It just comes out! I ended up halfway down the hill while halfway on my board after she pushed me.
The snow last night was perfect and Max and I cruised for some time after losing Y/n and P. “I’m calling P.” I say after they stopped responding to us.
It’s Y/n who answers. She sounds panicked, “Lando!?”
“Y/n? What’s wrong?” I look at Max who sees my face and gets just as nervous as me. I can hear her heavy breathing, “Hey, seriously, what is it?”
“P got hurt and we’re in the lodge and-” Max stops breathing as Y/n sniffles, “And you two are so fucked and tell Max he’s sleeping on the couch!” Her change in tone makes my heart slow and my eyes roll.
“So she’s fine?” I ask, a little sassy now.
“Yes you asshole! We’re getting hot chocolate because you two ditched us!” Max grabs the phone and starts yelling at his sister.
I can’t help but laugh at the scene unfold. Max starts walking away, carrying his board as I struggle to unlock my boots to go after him.
P is most definitely is fine, and Max is most definitely laying it on thick. “My love!” He hugs me from behind as she rolls her eyes, bringing her drink to her lips.
I slide a chair next to Y/n and lean close to her. She doesn’t look at me, doesn’t say anything, barely even moves.
“You’re evil, Sunshine.” I see the smirk on her face as her shoulders lift up and down softly.
“Not evil, just motivated.” The corner of my mouth lifts, something that’s out of my control when I'm this close to her.
P and Max giggling force me to look away from her and focus on the loving couple. P has her hand on his face as he stands behind her chair still, “Alright! Who’s up to hit the slopes?”
I keep learning more and more things about Y/n on this trip and today is no different. This woman cannot ski.
“Christ, Y/n!” Max yells at her from the top of the mountain. We all just watched Y/n fall on her face while getting off the ski lift. “Should I even trust you to go down this mountain alone?”
“Don’t worry Maxie!” I grin, slapping my hand on Y/n’s head, “I’ll keep an eye out.”
“Right like you’re any better! If I leave her with you then she might just end up getting pranked on your instagram story.” P laughs at this.
“Why doesn’t she just chill on a bunny slope?”
“Um excuse me! I am not that bad! I can handle myself!” Right as she says this, she slips but catches herself, clearing her throat. “It’s fine.”
Besides my slight concern for Y/n slowly following behind us, it’s a great day on the slopes. None of us are experts so we keep it chill and fun. Plus I know i’ll be sore if I do too much.
P races me to the bottom for the third time and just when I'm about to tap out, I see some guy talking to Y/n. Her gloves and goggles are off and I'm so distracted that I almost get knocked over by Max trying to stop.
Max and I are both about to walk over to her but P stops us in our tracks, holding us by the hoods of our jackets. “You two are the absolute worst, she does not need this right now!”
“I’m not letting her have some holiday fling after her heart was ripped out by that idiot!” Interesting reaction from Max.
He’s always been passionate about his sister's safety and has not once liked any boyfriend. But this is new and a bit threatening.
“You don’t have to ‘let’ her do anything! She’s a grown woman who’s pissed off and deserves a good man.”
“Like he’s a good man?” I mumble, watching the guy bite his lip and flip back his stupid fluffy hair that falls in his eyes.
I can feel P staring at me. “Both of you shut up and go get in line for the lift.” Y/n turns back to us, clearing seeing us watching and looking away quickly.
She excuses herself, blushing a bit and it’s definitely not from the cold. I know there’s a disgusted expression on my face and I don’t even try to change it.
I know she’s pretty.
Scratch that, she’s beautiful. Like actually the sort of stunning that makes her feel like a magnet. I know this about her! I tell her often.
But I do forget that she actually is seen by everyone else around us. I see the turning heads, the guys going up to her, I've just chosen to ignore it. Twice in one day is a little too much for our wholesome Christmas week though.
Maybe it’s too much for me because I hate every man that even looks her way.
P breaks the silence, “He was cute.”
Max groans at his girlfriend's comment, “Don’t encourage her!”
“Chill out! He was way too old.” Max looks shocked that this is his only flaw, “And i’m spending christmas with you guys blah blah blah, come on! I’m ready to ski again.”
Max drops a glove off the ski lift and we fall back into our usual friendship banter. I do love my friends, even if Y/n won’t admit she likes me in the slightest.
I laugh the whole way down the snow, racing all three of my friends as Max tries to sabotage his sister.
“I’ll eat your fucking gingerbread house, Max!” Is Y/n’s threat to her brother as she zooms past me.
The Fewtrells are very serious when it comes to gingerbread.
I slow and grab some snow to throw at Max, I unfortunately miss him and hit P.
The blonde screams at the snow stuck on her goggles and beanie, “Oh you’re gonna get it-” I'm suddenly being chased by an angry girl in all pink.
I can hear Y/n laughing as Max almost gets taken out by a kid going faster than all three of us combined.
We all have a smooth run, and just when I actually believe that Y/n may be getting better, I'm shocked once more at her clumsiness.
She was ready to Ski again! She was not ready to be back on flat ground.
In fact, as soon as we start to move back to the ski lift, she twists her ankle.
“I’m fine!” She fights me, pulling her mask back up over her nose so I can’t see her facial expression.
“Lovely you’re clearly in pain.” P pulls off her goggles as Max asks for directions.
“I’m fine! Let’s go again.” When she starts to move forward, she winces. Max yells at her which makes her more upset and P more distressed.
“It’s probably just a sprain, let’s go to the medic.”
“No!” Y/n fights me again as she argues with Max and a very worried P, “I’m seriously f-”
If I hear her say ‘fine’ one more time, I might cut my ears off. She’s over my shoulder in an instant, her skis clicked off and in Max’s hands now. She hits my back but I can barely feel it through my layers.
“Let me down you cunt!” I’ve had Y/n on me far more times this trip than I expected.
“There’s that sunny personality I know and love.” I mumble as I maneuver my way through the crowd, smiling at the people who give me weird looks for having a screaming girl over my shoulder.
The medic area is small and already taken up by three crying kids. The look that Y/n gives me when I set her down might just be enough to catch me on fire.
I pull her goggles off her face as Max and P explain what happened and repeatedly explaining that she wasn’t actually skiing when she got hurt.
I wipe the snow off and smile at her pouty expression, “How much does it hurt?” I’m squatting in front of her as she’s sitting on a small bench.
She argues immediately, “Not even-” I unclip her boot and she makes a noise that is nowhere near pleasant.
“Tell the truth, sunshine.” something in her face changes when I say the nickname i’ve had for her since childhood. I don’t get to dwell on it because a woman in red and white smiles at us as she approaches.
Max and Y/n argue so much that we both get kicked into the hallway. I pull my beanie off and shake out my hair, “I know I get mad at you a lot.”
I raise a brow at my friend, one that’s rarely serious.
“But I do appreciate you caring for Y/n. Even when she’s a pain-”
“I can hear you!” Y/n tells from the room as I let out a dry laugh.
I whisper, “Just wanna keep that christmas spirit up.”
He narrows his eyes a bit, mumbling, “Right…”
⋆༺
Turns out, Y/n is fine. A bit sore but comfortably on Max’s back as we look at the reindeers, “Shit this really is a Christmas hallmark town.” Y/n says as P laughs at the creatures.
“I always thought reindeers were fake.” Max frowns as it eats a carrot from his hand hesitantly.
“What’s hallmark?” I say innocently. Little did I know I would be attacked by the three people standing next to me.
“Oh mate…” Max shakes his head, “You’re so single and it’s so obvious.”
P sighs, “And uncultured! We need to have a movie night.”
“It’s only the best TV Christmas program ever! There’s a million movies and they all loosely follow the same plot line with a couple of opposites and a small town and a failing business and an old man with a white beard who might be santa.
I laugh at them, “The fuck…? I have to watch now.”
“Not tonight!” P groans. It’s already pretty late, we grabbed dinner and are now walking through the town.
“Or tomorrow!” Max shrugs, “P and I are going out, date night!” Y/n’s jaw drops at this while I smile. “Please don’t kill my friend while we’re gone.”
Y/n rolls her eyes, still on Max’s back, “No promises.”
“Let’s get back.” I shiver, “P looks like she’s about to snap in half.”
She glares at me, “You’re the one whose teeth are chattering!”
⋆༺
you
“My whole fucking body hurts.” I groan as we walk into the house, the warmth comforting me instantly. Max throws the keys into the catch all and yawns.
P is practically asleep next to Max and Lando is not even out of the car yet, “I think I'm just gonna go up.” She hums, her eyes already closed.
“No!” I frown, pulling off my puffer, “Come in the jacuzzi with me, i’ll bring wine!”
She shakes her head, “Sorry, Y/n. I’m wiped.”
“Max?” I look to my brother as he brings his arm under his girlfriend to hold her up. He’s looking at her with such love even as she’s half asleep and practically drooling. “Whatever. I might snap in half if I don’t go in.”
I say goodnight to Max and P as I walk up the stairs alone. He was quiet the whole ride home which was definitely new but not unwelcome.
I change as quickly as possible into a brown bikini and wander into the cold with my uggs and a towel. The jacuzzi is already hot and soothes my aching legs and back.
I take in the cool air against my face and look up to the dark sky. It's absolutely covered in stars, the moon is most definitely the focal point.
I switch the jets on and close my eyes, breathing in slowly. Today was chaotic and all I needed was a good soak and some quiet.
As soon as I sink deeper into the water, the door creaks open and Lando appears. He’s listening to music and pauses when he sees me, pulling off his headphones.
“Oh.” Is all he says.
He steps into the jacuzzi, his arms bracing himself as he slowly sinks into the water. I can see every muscle in his body and am trying to hide the feeling I get as he lets out a moan. He sucks in a breath and leans his head back, his adam's apple bobbing as he sits down in the hot water.
“Shit that feels good.” His voice sounds tired and content with the steam.
I’m almost speechless at his casual display of what, to me, is deeply sexual. Then again, a lot of things Lando does are sexual.
“How’s the ankle?” he asks.
I cringe at the memory of us on the mountain, “Better.” I know he came here because he knew I would be. I sigh, “My legs hurt.”
“Want a massage?” His grin is promptly back on his face, cheeky as ever.
“Max is gonna beat your ass someday.” It’s true, the amount of times he’s yelled or thrown something at Lando because of his remarks is astounding. And hilarious.
He swings his arms around the sides of the hot tub, “I’d like to see him try.” He sounds cocky just saying it.
I sigh, looking out at the land beyond our house, “So would I, trust me.”
He sinks his arms back down in the water, “Oh please, don’t pretend you don’t like my teasing.”
“I hate it.” I say it to his face, a face that looks unconvinced as he dips under. He comes back up, wiping his face and pushing his curls out of the way.
He changes the subject and floats around a bit, “I thought you knew how to ski.”
I swear his sole purpose in life is to aggravate me! He’s sitting across from me, looking all innocent with those green fucking eyes that I can see even in the shitty light.
When I don’t answer, he turns and rolls his shoulders back. My eyes trail down his back… until his voice rings out again.
“Stop checking me out and come here.” I don’t know why I do it, there’s just something about his tone that urges me to float across the hot tub and rest my arms on the side.
“I got Max a present… but I don’t know if he’ll like it.” I raise a brow at Lando’s soft words.
“Um… what is it?”
He turns around so we’re facing opposite ways, my knees resting against the all around seat, “I can’t tell you.”
I sigh and lean my head against my arms, “Well how am I supposed to help then?”
“Ask Max what he wants.”
I roll my eyes, “He said he wants the Mclaren championship and that sort of happened so…”
Lando smiles at this, sighing softly and looking at me, “Well, what are you getting him?” His eyes are so sincere, one of the few times he isn’t flirting or teasing me. He must catch my odd pause because he furrows his brows, “You okay, Sunshine?”
I look back at the trees, “Stop calling me that.”
“I have other nicknames I'd be happy to use.” I can hear the smirk in his voice as I rub my eye and bite back a smile. I hate when he makes me laugh.
“So do I. They're all race related, sure you’d like to hear?” It’s like my words go completely over his head, his eyes go soft.
“You watch my races?”
I roll my eyes again, “That’s what you got from that?”
He scoots closer, teasing, “You watch my races!”
“I watch F1 races!” I retort, “Don’t act all high and mighty, you’re definitely not my favorite driver.”
“Who the fuck is your favorite then?”
I shrug, egging him on a bit, “Oscar and Lewis.” I can see him fighting the urge to roll his eyes.
“Nuh uh. I saw you on Max’s stream wearing my merch once!”
I scoff, “Once! I was cold and he gave me your hoodie. Apparently I can’t wear anything of Max's so I had no choice.”
“I knew he was my friend for a reason!” He acts like his life goal was finally figured out before smiling softly, “You looked good in it.”
I eye him solely because I know he’s watching me and I won’t give him the chance to not be intimidated, “I look good in a lot of things.”
His eyes rake down body, or at least as much as he can see with the jets still on. “I know.” I feel sick, but not nauseous, more like butterflies.
With one last smile, Lando tilts his head back and looks up at the sky. My ears are cold but I could care less. I feel weirdly at peace, even with the man who won’t stop bugging me.
His nose is red and It feels oddly endearing. I tear my eyes away from Lando and back to the snow that’s started slowly falling over us.
There’s a quietness here, one you don’t get in the city. I can hear Lando breathing and music far in the distance.
I don’t realize he’s staring at me until my eyes find his again. How long has he been watching me?
“Stop that.” I say quickly.
His head tilts back ever so slightly, a curl in his face and the corner of his lip turning upwards, “Stop what?” He blinks, as if he’s the most innocent man in the world.
I motion towards him and breathe out, “Thinking…”
“What do you reckon I'm thinking, Sunshine?” He’s making me angry and I don’t even know why.
“Nothing good…” I whisper it, It feels illegal to say it any louder than that.
His eyes flick to my lips, his nose scrunching a bit just as my heart starts beating faster, “It’s good. It’s about you.”
I hum, stretching my arms out in front of me, not caring about the cold against my fingertips, “I figured, you seem to have that theme often.”
He laughs at this, shaking out his hair and standing. I watch his toned body leave me in the water all alone. The heat is the exact same yet I feel much colder without him.
Lando grabs his towel, wiping off, not looking at me.
“You're not gonna tell me?” I can’t help but say it fast to get it over with.
He looks back, wiping his chest and shrugging, “Maybe later.”
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 fic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris#lando x reader#lando imagine#f1 christmas#christmas fanfic
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darling, won’t you take me home?
jason todd x fem!reader
word count: 1.2k
warnings: reader has a mild cold, but nothing much else (lmk if I missed anything)
a/n: this is just a lighthearted sick fic that got real prose-y at the end bc I was listening to my Jason playlist and got all in my feelings while drowsy off cold medicine. again, i give thee my wares.
divider credit: saradika-graphics
You wake to soft light filtering in through the white curtains of your bedroom and the warm weight of your lover’s arm across your waist. The quiet snores echoing in the air and the soothing rise and fall of his chest against your back would usually be enough to lull you into a gentle morning sleep. But usually you can breathe out of both sides of your nose. And you usually don’t feel like there’s sandpaper in your throat. And your body doesn’t usually feel this heavy.
Goddamn it–you’re sick.
You feel a sneeze coming on and try to stifle it, to keep it locked tight in your lungs so you won’t wake the love of your life from the rare bit of peace and quiet he gets. You make no noise, but the shaking of your body stirs him anyway. Damn vigilantes and their preternatural awareness. He hums lazily as he pulls you further into his chest. You think he might be able to doze back off and you’re glad for it. Then your hopes are dashed. One, two, three sneezes wrack your body in succession and you are finally forced to admit defeat.
“Are you sneezing?” Jason asks, groggy but inquiring.
“…no.”
You don’t even know why you tried to lie to him. You’re a bad liar in most cases, and an absolutely abysmal liar when it comes to Jason. He simply sighs and you’d bet twenty dollars that he’s rolling those pretty seafoam eyes of his. He easily turns you in his arms so that you’re facing him. Great, now you really won’t be able to lie to him.
“I told ya that you were gettin’ sick,” he scolds gently.
“‘M not sick!”
He did. And you are.
“Then why do you sound like the Swedish Chef from the Muppets?”
“Oh, fuck you!”
He tries to keep his face serious, but soon the facade cracks and he lets out a deep belly laugh as you glare at him. You push yourself out of his arms and make it as far as the edge of the bed before he’s pulling you back to him again.
“Aw, c’mon, ma. Don’t be mad. You are sick. Just admit it,” he says, voice kind as he runs his hand up and down your spine.
“Okay. Fine. Whatever,” you mumble, your words trailing off unintelligibly.
Jason doesn’t miss it. He never does. Fucking vigilantes and their fine tuned hearing.
“What was that?” he smirks.
You whisper it again, quiet as a mouse. He shakes his head. You smack him in the chest.
“Ah ah, I wanna hear it,” he laughs.
“I said you were right! There! You happy now?” you pout, burying your head in his chest.
You can feel the giggles travel through his body and find it impossible to fight the smile it brings to your face, even if your head feels foggier than Gotham after a heavy rain. You squeeze him tight, a sudden aggressive love for him that you just need to let out. It does nothing to his strong frame. He just squeezes you back, then manhandles your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. He rises from your bed like you weigh nothing to him, hefting you into the air so that you’re better positioned.
“C’mon, we’re makin’ soup.”
One thing about Jason Todd is that he’s an amazing cook. He didn’t cook much for himself before he met you. He’s told you he didn’t see any point when cheap takeout would fuel his body just fine for whatever fight was inevitably coming for him. But now he has both the reason and the time to care. And he cares. So much.
You can see it in the way he sets the chicken to bake while he tells you about the new book he got from the bookstore down the block. You can see it in the way his skilled hands, calloused and bruised, slice the carrots razor thin because he knows you hate the crunch of them. You can see it in the barely noticeable look of pride on his face as all the ingredients simmer in the big metal pot, giving your shared home a warm aroma of comfort. You can see it in the fact that everything he needed for this was already in your kitchen, in the fact that none of it was there when you fell asleep last night while he was on patrol. Jason cares. He cares from the tip of the stubborn curl that sticks up on the top of his head to the soles of his feet that guide you in a slow waltz around the kitchen.
“I know you probably aren’t too hungry, but I need you to try to eat at least one bowl for me,” he says in his gentlest negotiation voice as he puts a bowl of chicken noodle soup on the counter.
You nod your head that’s tucked against his chest, sniffling as you feel your nose start to run. Without missing a beat, Jason pulls a tissue from the pocket of his pajama pants and hands it to you.
“And you’re takin’ cold medicine the second you get some food in you.”
He’s not asking anymore, just stating facts.
“Gonna stay up all night watching me too?” you ask teasingly.
“I might,” he retorts.
“I love you too, Jay.”
He goes rigid momentarily before he relaxes against you. Then a soft smile breaks out on his face. He chuckles and shakes his head, turning his face away from you. But you can be observant too. You don’t miss the way pink dusts his cheeks and, oh, he looks so pretty like this. You tell him as much just to watch the soft pink turn to vibrant red.
“Shut up and eat your soup.”
One bowl of soup and a disgusting shot of cold medicine later, you find yourself wrapped in the arms of your lover as you both lounge on the couch. Jason reads the new book he was telling you about as you listen to music, dozing in and out of consciousness. It’s not your fault he makes such a great pillow; his large body is warm and soft as he lies relaxed on your sofa. Every now and then, especially when he thinks you’ve fallen into a light sleep, he’ll place a featherlight kiss on the top of your head.
You may not be a vigilante or The World’s Greatest Detective, but you can put all the pieces of the day together well enough. Carrying you out of bed, making you soup, letting you rest on him, the soft kisses and touches he flutters over your skin; it’s all his way of saying he loves you when the words themselves are simply too much or not enough. But the words are enough for you. You swear that you’ll go to your grave finding all the prettiest ways to tell him just how much you love him. Because you do.
And maybe it’s the homemade soup settled in your belly, or the afternoon sunlight shining through the window, or the warmth of the man you love beneath you, but you soon find yourself lulled into a peaceful sleep that feels just like home.
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x reader#red hood x you#remy writes 🖋️#I just love him so so much. the yearning I feel for this fictional man is astronomical
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Spencer Reid x she/her!reader
A/N: me posting twice in the same month?? someone do a welfare check
warning: age gap mentioned (bc I’m a slut) but not extensively or in a weird way bc Spencer’s not a pervert lol
Moth To A Flame
Closing the bathroom door with your own back, you slide down it until you’re sitting on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest and taking a shaky breath. You shouldn’t call him while crying, you know better than that, but you know your own tells enough to hope you can mask them; a futile effort considering who you intend to call at 3am.
Lifting your phone to your ear, you hear it ring no more than twice before your prayers are answered, and you breathe a sigh of relief.
“Hey, Spencer.” You greet him quietly, smiling from just saying his name.
“Hi, sunshine. How are you?” Spencer’s voice is calm and collected, but it’s clear through the phone he’s delighted to hear from you.
There’s no question raised regarding the time at which you’re calling. But no matter how many times this happens, Spencer always enquires after your wellbeing.
“I’m okay, thank you. Just…you know. How are you?” The question is returned, though neither of you are a fan of small talk.
“Yes,” Spencer responds specifically to the insinuation he knows, because he does. Then, he continues, “-I’m well, too, thank you.”
His words, and what goes left unsaid, makes your smile grow.
“What’re you reading?” You ask, and the quiet chuckle you hear from Spencer is enough to prove you right in your assumption of his reason for being awake at this hour.
“Pride And Prejudice. How did you know I was reading?” He wonders aloud with a fondness in his voice that he reserves only for you.
“When aren’t you reading?” You roll your eyes playfully, and Spencer can practically hear it.
“When I’m sleeping.” He quips, his own smile evident in his voice.
It’s enough to have you laughing softly into the phone, which only serves to make Spencer’s smile grow.
“Read me some?” You request quietly.
Like you ever need to ask.
Spencer clears his throat into the phone.
“After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began, ‘In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’ Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed. He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness…” Spencer reads aloud, and the smile on your face is almost as soft as his voice sounds through the phone.
By the end of the chapter, your eyes have drifted closed and your head is tipped back against the bathroom door behind you. Hearing how calm your breathing has become, Spencer pauses, and you hear him close the book.
“See you in the morning?” He always asks because on the rare chance you’ll say no, at least he has time to mentally prepare for your absence. Tonight is not the night for that.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow…Thank you.” You reply, already feeling close to sleep.
This stumps Spencer momentarily, and he falters before he replies, “For what?”
And there’s only one thing you can say to that.
“Being you.”
Spencer chuckles sheepishly, “I don’t know how to be anyone else.”
Of course he doesn’t. Perhaps, if he was anyone else, you’d stand a chance.
“Goodnight, Spencer.” You tell him gently.
“Goodnight, sunshine.” There’s a second of warm silence as you savor the sound of each other’s quiet breathing, and then you both hang up the call.
Standing up from where you’d been sitting on the bathroom floor, you take another deep breath before reaching for the door handle. Walking through a house that isn’t yours, into a living room where the sound of snoring from the couch makes you want to tear your hair out, past a kitchen where a cheap measly pile of four red roses lie limp on the counter with a post-it note in place of any kind of meaningful card, up the staircase where framed photographs filled with eyes that aren’t on your side stare down at you judgmentally, until you’re safely confined in the bedroom you feel doomed to. Crawling into your side of the bed, you adjust the pillows that occupy the other side, filling the space in a shape long enough to resemble the shape of someone under your bedcovers. And with Spencer’s voice still in your ears wishing you a good night, you close your eyes and drift off to sleep.
Meanwhile, Spencer adjusts his alarm clock to wake him an hour earlier than necessary, and awakens from a peaceful slumber with a determined mission in mind. Once his normal morning routine is complete, instead of driving to the office, he drives to his preferred florist, who greets him with a knowing smile when Spencer walks in.
“Another dozen?” The florist guesses.
“Please.” Spencer nods, smiling politely.
Retrieving his wallet from his back pocket, Spencer pays for the flowers and graciously thanks the florist, taking the flowers and then leaving the establishment to return to his car. He drives back home, placing the dozen flowers in a glass vase that he keeps pristine for this very purpose, with the perfect level of water for optimal growth for this specific species of flower. Very carefully, Spencer inspects them until he determines which has the prettiest bloom today, and that is the one he elects to remove from the vase, carefully securing its stem in seran wrap and placing it in the pocket of his suit jacket, then continuing on his normal journey into work.
Purposely, Spencer arrives earlier than the rest of the team, so that he can execute his plan without interruptions. From the staff kitchen, he chooses the most elegant looking glass he can find and again pours the perfect level of water - this time for just one flower, specifically - unwrapping the single bloom in his suit jacket and setting in the glass. He then walks to your desk and positions it in an aesthetically pleasing location, but already knows it is not enough. The picture is not complete. It must be perfect for you. Briefly visiting his own desk, Spencer opens the drawer to take a piece of his own parchment paper, from which he cuts a small section that he then folds in half. On what appears to be the front of the folded piece, he maps out a constellation in a dot-to-dot sketch, then inside the fold of paper, he writes the story behind it. After several attempts, Spencer finds the perfect angle at which to place the folded piece of paper next to the flower on the desk, and only then does he return to his usual morning routine of making himself a coffee in the staff kitchen. Counting down the minutes.
By the time you get to the office, you’ve pushed the thoughts of your home from your mind and have a bright smile on your face, looking forward to a day spent working with your friends and not thinking about-
“(Y/N)! I just saw! He got you roses! That’s SO cute! You have, like, the best boyfriend!” Penelope squeals as she runs up to you the very second you walk through the glass doors of the bullpen.
Your heart sinks and your eyebrows furrow.
“You saw?”
Penelope nods excitedly, gesturing to her phone, where she shows you the post your boyfriend had made on social media: a picture he had taken of the four red roses he’d bought you that he filtered to high heaven to make them look more grand than they were, with a caption that said ‘happy four and many more, babe x’. If it weren’t for the sake of keeping your business private - something he clearly cares for about as much as he does you - you’d scoff.
“Oh, yeah. Must’ve missed that he posted that.” You plaster a smile on your face that doesn’t reach your eyes, walking side by side with Penelope towards your desk.
“It was your four year anniversary, right? Did you do anything fancy?” She’s giddy on your behalf.
“No, just had a quiet night in.” You provide an excuse, the most generous blanket statement you could have given to the shambles that were your boyfriend’s anniversary plans.
Your dejectedness, however, is abruptly cut short when your gaze lands on your desk. A single bloom of your favorite flower, with a neatly folded handwritten note of a constellation placed next to it. In a microsecond, you’re turning to where Spencer sits at his desk, hiding his smirk behind his cup of coffee.
“You didn’t!” You feign chastisement, but your giddiness is obvious.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Spencer shrugs, his smile as obvious as yours is.
You’re practically bouncing on the spot when you bring the little glass and the delicate flower within to your face to breathe in the sweet scent.
“These aren’t even in season anymore, Spencer, how did you-“
The question is cut short by a magician who never reveals his secrets.
“I played no part in this, but perhaps someone happens to know somebody else who is equipped to grow them on request.” There’s a teasing lilt to his otherwise matter-of-fact tone, and you are shaking your head in absolute disbelief.
Setting the glass back down on your desk, you pick up the constellation, admiring it carefully before folding it and placing it in your desk drawer, in amongst another 30-something hand drawn constellations. The smile is still lingering on your face when you sit down at your desk, and from where Spencer sits at his, his chest feels warm. So much joy from you at the cost of only an hour’s less sleep and a few more dollars than the asking price of your favorite flowers. Perhaps, tonight you won’t call him trying to hide that you’d been crying again, he hopes. Whether that comes to fruition or not, he has another eleven blooms waiting in his apartment to gift you at random intervals to surprise you and keep your tears at bay for as long as he can, without you ever telling him there was a chance of them falling. He knows.
For the rest of the day, Spencer catches you glancing at the flower on your desk while you work through various reports and paperwork, an almost shy smile lighting up your face every time you see it there.
It’s only when the team begins packing up for the day that Spencer thinks to look into what Penelope had referenced that morning- a post of some kind? Easily enough, Spencer finds your boyfriend’s social media on his computer, and what he discovers makes him borderline violent. Four years together, encompassed by four measly roses and what you called a ‘quiet night in’ that was so beyond underwhelming you ended your evening by calling Spencer from your bathroom. A celebration of that scale warranted only four red roses, while the mere hint you’d been crying was enough for Spencer to visit the florist he pays specifically to keep growing your favorite flowers for you, to buy another dozen that he intends to deliver to you one by one at irregular intervals. Still, it isn’t Spencer’s job to compensate for what is clearly absent from your relationship; at least, not consciously.
“Babe!” A voice calls out that has Spencer using every ounce of strength he possesses to withhold from rolling his eyes. Shutting down his computer, he stands from his desk just in time to see your expression fall where you pack away your things at your own desk.
Turning to face your boyfriend, you give him a tight-lipped smile.
“Hey, what’re you doing here?” You ask shortly.
Excellent question, Spencer thinks.
“Just came to surprise you and drive you home!” Your boyfriend exclaims like it’s some kind of achievement, opening his arms in a big gesture as he approaches your desk.
How considerate, ambushing you at your workplace under the guise of it being a nice surprise, Spencer scoffs internally, deliberately slowing the pace at which he readies his satchel to leave the office.
“Oh. Thanks.” You don’t know what else to say. “I’ll be ready in a second.” You add, feeling like you’re defaulting to basic lines of dialogue to avoid awkward silences.
“Great!” Your boyfriend exclaims, looking around the bullpen like he’s never seen the place before - he has, twice, and Spencer wishes his eidetic memory would allow him to erase the memory of your discomfort during both instances - until his eyes land on a face he recognises, and he grins.
“Spencer! My man!” Your boyfriend yells, and your eyes widen as you watch him walk right over to Spencer and pull him into a bro-hug that immediately has Spencer rigidly uncomfortable.
“I’ve told you-“ You implore, shooting Spencer an apologetic and pleading look before your boyfriend starts talking over you.
“Oh yeah! Sorry, man, forgot you’re weird about touching people.” He laughs, throwing his hands up in mock surrender.
You scowl, parting your lips to bite his head off, but Spencer steps in to prevent you from saying something that’ll only cause more arguments for you when you go home.
“I have an acute awareness and disliking towards unfamiliar germs and contact.” Spencer corrects your boyfriend firmly, aware that only you and him realize what he means by a germ in this context.
“Yeah, man, no worries.” Your boyfriend laughs, like he’s the funniest man in the world to himself. “Ready to go, babe?” He asks you.
“Mhmm.” Another tight-lipped smile, and that’s apparently convincing enough for your boyfriend, who wraps an arm around your waist in a careless action rather than something that should be treasured, and would be treasured by the man you look over your shoulder to give one last apologetic expression to.
That is, until Emily steps out of her office and calls over to you, “Don’t forget about Rossi’s party!”
And you literally wince.
“A party?! Oh man! Can’t wait! Thanks, Emmers!” Your boyfriend answers for you, regarding a party you had deliberately neglected to mention to him, and then he’s all but dragging you out of the office.
Once out of earshot, Spencer actually does scoff.
“Emmers?” Emily asks him with a frown from where she stands on the raised walkway, leaning on the railing.
“A shocking breach of social etiquette to assume a nickname for someone he barely knows.” Spencer clarifies, to which Emily nods.
“You still not coming to Rossi’s tonight?” She elects to ask him, a smile curling at the corner of her mouth.
Spencer sighs heavily. He looks down at his desk, then lifts his head to look over at the elevator doors closing, snatching the view of you away. He knows what will happen tonight. He knows.
The mirror stares back at him. If someone told Spencer a year ago that he’d be attending a work related get together he’d initially rejected the invitation of but went back on himself solely in the hopes that his suit of choice would impress a coworker just over half his age who has a boyfriend, Spencer would have walked right out of prison and requested a psych eval. Still, the thought at the forefront of his mind is that 6 months and 8 days ago he had worn an all-black suit on a case that you had complimented. It is a foolish dream to think you would compliment him for it again, but for you, Doctor Spencer Reid is a proud fool.
Much to your own embarrassment, you and your boyfriend knock at Rossi’s door an hour late, and based on your expression it is not difficult for Spencer to deduce it’s not your fault. Or, it wouldn’t have been difficult if his brain hadn’t short-circuited at the sight of you wearing a thin strapped, floor length purple silk dress that hugged your every curve to the extent that when Spencer rose from his seat in a gentlemanly gesture at your entrance, his knees very nearly buckled beneath him to a position of worship. Your boyfriend’s arm is careless around your waist again, and he drops it not to pull your chair out for you at the table, but to bro-hug David Rossi, who looks at him like he spat in his bowl of pasta. In your disgruntled state, it takes you a second to acknowledge that Spencer is standing, and in between greeting the rest of the team, your eyes continually flit back to him, his heart skipping a beat each and every time in a way that only further convinces him he is in the midst of a medical emergency. Finally, your gaze lingers on him, and he doesn’t waste the opportunity.
“Can I get you a drink? Rossi’s minibar has some of your favorites.” Spencer gestures with the hand not holding his own drink, and without so much as looking to your plus one, you nod and walk around the table.
His large hand ghosts the small of your back, fingers flexing, but he doesn’t allow himself to make contact until he counts the microseconds to cross the distance that takes you both away from every other pair of eyes in this house. The heat of Spencer’s fingertips meet the purple silk of your dress, barely there, but oh, do you feel it.
Once safely standing at the minibar, Spencer only needs to watch your face to see which bottle your eyes light up at, and as soon as he notices, he pours you a glass without you having to ask. In a gesture that feels like a secret, the two of you clink your glasses together and lock eyes to take a simultaneous sip.
“Nice suit.” You nod at Spencer, a shy smile forming behind your glass.
“Thank you.” He tries not to choke on his drink, then nods back at you. “Pretty dress.”
You have to bite your lip to prevent your smile from growing any bigger.
“Thank you. The color reminded me of your scarf.” You remark quietly, and if you weren’t a profiler, you probably wouldn’t notice the almost imperceptible widening of Spencer’s eyes at your words.
“It is a similar shade.” He agrees, his heart in his throat.
Comfortable silence settles between you. Eyes locked, nursing your drinks, your free hands hanging idly at your sides. Standing just a little too close. Fingers almost touching.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” You say eventually.
Spencer shakes his head dismissively. “I appreciate it, but his oversights aren’t your responsibility.” Or your burden, he so badly wants to add.
You sigh. “If he overstepped the boundaries of a guy who was less of a man than you, he could’ve got his face caved in.”
And what a shame that would have been, Spencer muses in his own mind.
“I didn’t escalate the situation, but not because I’m a man- because it wasn’t a worthy cause.” He amends.
“So if there was a worthy cause, you’d have clocked him?” You giggle at the idea.
“Possibly.” Definitely, Spencer smirks.
“What constitutes a worthy cause in the mind of Doctor Spencer Reid?” You tease, tilting your head to look up at him with a curious twinkle in your eyes.
“If he made you cry.” Spencer chooses his words very carefully, and inspects every micro expression on your face in response.
Because your boyfriend has made you cry, you know that, and you know Spencer knows too, despite the fact you haven’t ever stated as such. He knows. All you’d have to do is say the word, and Spencer would walk right back into the dining room, grab your boyfriend by his collar in front of the entire team, drag him outside and beat him to a pulp in the street.
If Spencer wasn’t a profiler, he probably wouldn’t notice the almost imperceptible widening of your eyes at his words.
“Babe! There you are! Rossi’s served us up a couple plates of something with a name I can’t pronounce- Spencer! Hey, man!” Your boyfriend’s agitating, grating voice cuts into the peaceful bubble you and Spencer had been existing in.
Sharing an equally irritated glance, you both turn to face him.
“Linguine alla Puttanesca.” Spencer drawls.
“Yeah, something like that, for sure!” Your boyfriend laughs, loudly, and without you saying a word, his arm is thrown around your waist again, stealing you from Spencer - who trails behind with a scowl fixed on your boyfriend’s arm - and returning to the dining room.
At the table, you sit opposite Spencer, with your boyfriend sitting on your left. You’re grateful for the casual conversation in the room taking his attention away from you for the most part, allowing you the peace of eating without him saying something that makes you want to vomit.
“Been thinking of getting some sleeping pills myself, not been sleeping too good on the couch!”
Nevermind.
Your eyes close in a pained blink, and you lift your napkin with an unnecessarily firm grip to wipe at your mouth.
“Oh. You’ve not got…comfy cushions?” Penelope tries to save the conversation, but the awkward silence has already descended upon the table at your boyfriend’s blatant overshading at your expense.
“Nope, barely been sleeping a wink! I miss my own bed, I’ll tell you that!” Your boyfriend laughs.
Setting your napkin down, you keep your gaze fixed on your half empty plate. You can feel eyes on you. Everywhere.
“A dinner party with your partner’s friends is not the social setting for discussing your relationship.” Spencer quips, releasing enough tension in your chest to allow you a breath.
“Don’t worry, bro, she doesn’t mind!” Your boyfriend nudges you with his arm, and you are rigid.
“Nobody at this table requires a profiling skillset to determine that (Y/N) does mind.” Spencer’s protective nature is bristling.
“Oh yeah, bet you profilers can just look and tell exactly what her problem is, huh?!” Your boyfriend laughs. “Go on, guess!” He demands of the table, like he’s prepping a joke with the greatest punchline in human history.
The table is silent. You close your eyes in a pained blink, begging any god that may exist, please, please-
“She won’t sleep with me!” Your boyfriend roars with laughter, and time slows to an agonizing halt.
The only accompanying sounds are cutlery clattering against plates, then two chairs scraping against the floor.
“That’s enough. Get out.” Rossi points at the door.
“With pleasure.” Spencer’s tone is cool as ice. In a fraction of a second, he rounds the table, grabs your boyfriend by his collar and drags him out of Rossi’s dining room, to the front door.
While the rest of the team crowd around you to check you’re okay, you’re shaking your hand and scrambling to stand, running outside. Spencer’s fists grip your boyfriend’s collar, pinning him to the side of his car.
“-and if I ever find you within a five mile radius of her, I’ll ruin your life without breaking a single law.” He seethes.
“She’s barely even my girlfriend, man, she doesn’t even put out! You can have her!” Your ex boyfriend holds his hands up in surrender while signing his own death warrant.
Spencer’s right hook sends him hurtling against the sidewalk, and Spencer is on him in the blink of an eye. Trapping him under his legs, Spencer delivers punch after punch, hearing bones crack with the force but only seeing red, until Rossi and Luke physically pull him off, and even then he tries to fight past them to carry on.
“Kid, kid, take a breath- you got him!” Rossi gently pats Spencer’s back, and with wide eyes like a deer in headlights, you appear in front of him.
“Spencer.” You breathe his name with an unnamed emotion, reaching up to cup his face in your hands, and his glazed over eyes that hadn’t been able to look anywhere but the bloody mess on sidewalk, find you in an instant.
Emily is already calling in some favors with the local police department to get this resolved with minimal assault charges, if possible.
“C’mon, inside.” You tell Spencer gently, taking one of his trembling, bloody hands in yours and guiding him back into Rossi’s house.
Taking him past the dining room, you find the kitchen and lead Spencer to lean against the empty counter beside the sink. Very carefully, you hold both of his hands under the cold water to wash them free of blood. It doesn’t take you long to realize the blood doesn’t just come from your ex-boyfriend. He’s running on adrenaline, breathing heavily, half watching you and half watching the doorway, as if expecting someone else to walk in that he has to take out to protect you.
Once his hands are as clean as you can get them, you retrieve some ice packs from Rossi’s freezer and hold them to Spencer’s swollen, bloody knuckles. You can’t look away from them.
“Are you in any pain yet?” You ask in a small voice.
“None.” Spencer answers sharply, gaze fixed on the doorway now because he can keep you in his peripheral vision, mind locked in fight or flight mode with an obvious winner.
“This is all my fault, Spencer, I’m so sorry- if I’d have broken up with him…” Your forehead drops to Spencer’s chest, pressing against the fabric of his black tie.
Those words catch him so off guard that he falters, and then frowns.
“None of this is in any way your fault.” Spencer states bluntly.
“If I’d broken up with him already, he wouldn’t have been here, wouldn’t have said those things in front of y- Spencer!” You cut yourself off when your reminder of what your ex had said has Spencer trying to move past you to go back outside and start right where he left off, having no choice but to grab his arm in an effort to stop him.
Realistically, you are not strong enough to hold Spencer in place. If he wanted to, he could push past you easily, but your hand on him could disarm a nuclear bomb if he was its power source.
“Don’t. Please. Stay.” You plead.
Like you ever have to ask.
Spencer settles back against the counter, one of his cold, bloody hands lifting to cup the back of your head, tilting your forehead back to his chest hold you there.
“By the same token, I could have prevented this, had I said what’s been unsaid.” Spencer murmurs into your hair.
“That’s way less fair than the point I made.” You remark, which has him smirking against the top of your head.
“Don’t get smart with me when I’m running on adrenaline.” Spencer warns playfully.
“Don’t get flirty when you just beat a guy to a pulp for disrespecting me.” You counter, causing him to scoff quietly.
“That reminds me, I must amend a previous statement.” Spencer says, and you can’t resist tilting your head back to look up at him, his hands immediately shaking free of their icepacks to cup your cheeks.
“Mhmm?” You press.
“I said all it would take for me to clock him would be him making you cry, this has proven to be incorrect. Based on my actions tonight, I can safely say if he made you cry, I would kill him.” Spencer speaks with a tone so soft you’d think he was complimenting you, his thumbs caressing your cheeks so tenderly while he threatens your ex’s very life.
“Wow. Big words for a man who hasn’t even taken me out on a first date.” You smirk.
“Moving a little fast, aren’t we, sunshine?” Spencer quips teasingly, his own smirk forming.
“A year of tiptoeing around each other while I was in a relationship is only moving a little fast by the standards of the romance novels you read, Doc.” You joke.
“Touché.” Spencer laughs fondly down at you. “Does this mean I can finally attempt to court you, fair lady?”
Butterflies that he singlehandedly commands, fly free in your stomach.
“I’d say so.” You answer softly, and Spencer breathes the deepest sigh of relief.
He leans down to rest his forehead against yours, ever so gently bumping his nose to yours in the most tender gesture of affection.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer whispers, his breath fanning your lips.
“Anything.” You murmur.
Spencer smiles at the breathlessness he can already hear in your voice, solely caused by his proximity. Time slows to the most beautiful halt as he leans in, leaving the softest kiss at the corner of your mouth, barely even touching your lips.
“It was me who left a flower on your desk.”
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#imagine#imagines#x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#headcannon#headcannons#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#Spotify
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You've been living a peaceful life for the last 100 years, trying to be off the radar.
You did help Strange a few times from afar, but becoming an active participant? No, you had enough of that.
Your owned ranch, your owned daily routines. You were almost healed from centuries of fighting for your life, ideals and power.
Until one day Strange broke his part of the deal.
"I need your help."
You sighed. He never cared about your garden. Always appearing when you were searching for escape with your flowers.
"No, Stephen. Whatever it is, I don't care. And please levitate. You're leaving traces."
"it's Agatha Harkness."
You looked at him. No emotions. He was waiting for your reaction. But you didn't give him any clues.
"Since when can't you fight a bound witch?"
You turned back to your apple tree. You knew in what state Agatha was. Not a threat, not an opponent. She was too deep in her illusion.
"Everything is going to change soon. There are… Entities who want her free."
"Name me one entity who would want to be betrayed by her."
"I can name you two. The boy."
"One of the twins. " Only the sound of your garden shears was heard.
It wasn't even a question. You already felt it. Stephen wouldn't be here if the reason wasn't so serious.
"And the other one?"
"Your old friend."
"Why don't you do this yourself, Stephen?"
"You know I'm not allowed to interact with her."
___
WestView used to be a charming town. Before the Hex. You could still feel the remains of Wanda's magic. People were still scared, wounds were too fresh.
You quickly found Agatha. She was blissfully living through her illusion. Wanda definitely had style.
You knew Harkness when she was dangerous, now she was weak and vulnerable.
If it was the old you, her neck would snap in a second. But you changed. And she wasn't the one you were searching for.
If Stephen was right you were all fucked.
You followed Agatha to the police station, pawn shop, and her house.
The boy wasn't here yet. You had some time. You built yourself a charming backstory, you pretended to love bad coffee. In a month you were already a citizen of WestView.
What if Stephen was wrong? This happened before. Agatha was protected by her own dreams until the cracks the power of nature itself called for you.
You rushed to your hotel room. You needed protective spells. You were not the only witch in town.
___
Stephen was right. Unfortunately.
Someone knocked on the door, but didn't wait for the answer.
"I thought you could afford a better place."
Stephen was right. You were all fucked.
"I thought you're old enough not to play with food."
Rio laughed at the remark. You almost forgot that sound. You recognized her immediately. Sure the clothes were different, hair, eyes were greener than you remembered.
There was no point in the book you were holding. You started remembering that spells never worked against Rio.
"What are you doing here?" She noticed your gesture of peace. No fight tonight.
"Making sure that you're keeping the monster on the leash."
"oh, it's so much fun not being a monster in this scenario." Rio smiled like a child who finally got her approval.
"It's not about you." You suddenly felt tired. You had this talk before. Each century you were alive.
"It's about you." Rio chose to come closer.
"Is that a holster under your jacket?"
"Yeah, Agatha is in her Swedish crime show period. You like it?"
Rio got rid of her jacket, which simply disappeared in thin air. Brunette always loved theatricality.
"Sure." You were not planning for her to be in your space. You tried to step aside.
"No, no, no." Rio grabbed your hand. "You wanted to talk, let's talk."
You noticed the green light. No doubt her crown was a reminder of her power. Her cosmic power, her power over you.
"Leave the covenless witch alone." You whispered. Oh, but Rio heard every word. She smirked.
"or else?" you could feel her magic all over you.
You formed the fireball in your palm. Light was dancing in Rio's eyes.
"oh, isn't it our favorite foreplay?" witch mimicked your move with her free hand. Green rose appeared. "I missed this."
She let go of you and offered the flower. You took it.
You started remembering. Once it was like this. Every day. You almost forgot why you were here.
"leave Agatha as she is." You still were looking at the flower. It was flawless. Created by nature itself.
"really?" Rio groaned. "if I had known you'd care about her so much I'd lure her into darkness ages ago."
You could hear the hurt in her voice. It wasn't a distraction from her plan. She turned to the door. You flicked your wrist. Thin line of fire appeared around Rio's neck.
"I can't kill you. But I can definitely slow you down."
"till your sorcerer comes?" Rio laughed. She tilted her head and it was enough for you to hit the wall. If she wanted to you'd never get up again.
"Let's have a deal. You give me one date and I give you one more day of bound covenless witch."
___
This idea was so wrong. With Rio you never had courtship per se. The day you met she stayed with you. It was always about the sparks that amplified the worst in both of you.
You needed to know Rio's plan. You needed to win yourself some time.
This time Rio didn't invite herself In. You opened the door. This time it was a bouquet of flowers that never even existed. No doubt, Rio created them only for you.
This time it was a green suit. Always on brand.
Of course she was driving. It was the most human thing you ever saw her doing.
"Where are we going?"
"We'll drink and watch the wolves howl at the full moon."
"There are no wolves here."
"I brought a few with me."
___
"Why did you leave me?" it was her first question after the awkward silence.
You were sitting on the branches that Rio lowered for you. Pack of white wolves was playing in front of you, occasionally asking for attention.
"Is that important?"
"don't mortals talk about their experiences, share feelings?"
"you're not a mortal."
"tonight I am."
You shrugged. You had to play this game.
"I was tired of being… A villain." whiskey was still burning your throat after all these years.
"I never asked you to."
"you never did. But you sure as hell were reminding me every day of who I was. With you I've forgotten the weight of my choices. With you everything was just a game…"
You felt her touch on your skin. Rio guided you towards her. You remembered this. She kissed you like this before. Many moons like this ago.
She was gentle. Always was. You just forgot it.
"You were never a game."
"And you were always thriving on chaos.",
You stood up. Immediately one of the wolves ran towards you. He was friendly, but like with Rio you were not sure he wasn't trained to pretend.
"Why do you need a covenless witch?"
"Is it important right now? It's always about the balance."
"Right. And a few witches you can take for yourself."
Greens started wrapping around your waist and arms. Rio was calling you. Slowly you let them drag you to her. You used to play like this. You used to allow her this.
"Give me another date and you'll get another day."
___
The next day you went to her house. She recreated the garden you once had. With her powers it was so much easier.
"Remember how we used to play with reality?"
"Yes."
Rio remembered every single of your creations. She was attentive to details. You did play with reality. Both of you. You were luring your enemies into scenarios that could never be real. And after that Rio was feasting on them.
"Exactly like now you're playing with Agatha. You always protected your deal with her."
You preferred this Rio more. With the crown, with the flowers in the dress. It was her element.
"She's an effective killer. That's it."
"And what about the boy?"
"And what about your peaceful life?" Rio squeezed grapes and the wine poured in glasses. She offered you one.
"It is expectedly peaceful."
"Sounds boring. Maybe that's why you're here. With me? Missed the fun?"
What did she want to hear from you? You never cared about fun. You missed her. You missed your lover, your partner, your chosen one. You missed your garden. It was never fun. It was always you destroying everyone with fire.
Rio threw her Chalice on the ground. Wine turned into flowers. Again she was too close. She was behind you. She was seducing you with her breath on your neck.
"Rio…" You tried not to give in so easily. "I'm here because…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, the greater good." She was playing with your hair, whispering right into your soul. "It's all about not letting Agatha and the kid get their powers."
Her fingers were studying your heartbeat. She always thought that this curious mortal sound was only for her.
You only inhaled sharply. When you agreed to Stephen's plea you knew all about the risk. But you thought you were stronger than this.
"Let go of me."
When did her fingers travel to your neck? You didn't notice. Your whole body was tingling. Your soul was aching for her. You were alone for so long.
"You don't want this."
Of course you didn't. But Rio had no right to say it out loud.
___
Your third date was an unspoken agreement. You cooked. More for yourself, than for Rio. Old book of recipes reminded you of the hardships of trying to live amongst ordinary people.
"Candles are not lit." Oh, that smug face. Rio always adored seeing your deadly powers in the most boring situations.
Table was between you this time. You hoped it would help. It would give you a chance to win some time.
You tilted your head. Instead of candles - the fireplace became playful. You disobeyed. In a very small detail, but Rio noticed.
This time the silence was longer, heavier. She wasn't eating. she wasn't playing.
"Do you ever miss your mortal family?"
"I do."
"What's it like?"
Rio never respected the concept of privacy. But those were the rules. You had to talk.
"Don't you know? Were you not there when both my husband and daughter died in my arms?"
You stood up for another bottle. Rio followed you to the kitchen.
"Did they… Did they give you what I couldn't?"
"They taught me once again to care about life. Respect the time. They reminded me that you're supposed to exist not only for your own sake."
You didn't admit that you barely remembered their faces. That the pain was almost gone. That for you it was just a fleeting moment. You already didn't remember whether it was real or not.
"Well, I remind everyone exactly this. But with you it's chaos, right?"
You could swear you saw a tear. Was Rio even capable of this? After all the time. all the damage. all the emptiness.
You pulled her closer. You wanted only to remind her that it was never her fault. You desperately wanted to remind her of that. You were clawing deeper and deeper into her. Biting. scratching, kissing whatever skin you could get.
You were tearing the silk. You pushed her against the kitchen aisle. It was always the chaos. But chaos that you wanted and were thriving for.
Now the chaos suddenly wanted to submit. You didn't expect that.
"I missed this." you were murmuring in her ear. You were ready to get on your knees for her. When did your hunger appear again? This time it was different. No burned land, no fallen trees, no skars and marks of struggle.
It was different this time. It took more than a hundred years for Rio to finally feel regret.
You didn't notice how you got into the bedroom. How clothes weren't yours anymore.
She took care of you. Rio always wanted only this.
___
The next day you didn't want to open your eyes. What if Rio wasn't there? Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
"I'm here."
Rio was watching you. She looked tense. She was sitting in the armchair, which now resembled the throne. She pointed to the cup of coffee on your bedside table.
"Charming as usual."
"We don't have much time, baby." And there it was. Your nickname. "Kid is coming tonight. We need to be there."
"Oh, no, no. I'm not letting you…"
"It's about the kid. Not a covenless witch. He needs to come with me. And you will make sure it happens. Isn't this what sorcerers want?"
"Yes."
"Well, then you'll have to join the road. Come baby, we don't have much time." she gave you a peck on the cheek. "It's gonna be like the old times."
You sighed. Yeah, this was going to be an adventure. You simply hoped that this night you saw the real Rio. And after this night you would stay the same.
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birds of a feather II Arsenal Women x Teen!Reader
masterlist I word count: 1647
a/n: dear readers, the inspiration for the oneshot was this request here, we hope that we did the great idea justice.
warnings: contains coach abuse through a parental figure
“Come on move over, Viv!”, Jonas yelled before pushing Vivianne stronger than it would have been necessary.
Watching this scene unfold from the bench brought back memories which were engraved into your brain. But none of your teammates noticed your skin turn pale or the slight wobble of your underlip.
The harshness in your coaches’ voices and the physical aggressivity reminded you of your days in the youth team your stepfather had coached. Back in the day all you did was helplessly staying silent, eager to please, whatever he wanted from you to become what you wanted to be a professional footballer.
Unlike your child self the Dutch midfielder’s reaction wasn’t silence.
“What are you doing? You just said I should get ready!”, she shot back, visibly frustrated by his behaviour.
“You were too slow!”, the Swedish man replied angrily.
“You should have told me in time then! God!”, Vivianne shouted
Listening to their fight made you shrink a little bit more, every word they exchanged felt like a whiplash to you. Their sentences opened cuts you thought have long healed, but they turned out to be still open and you had a hard time to stay focused on the game in front of your eyes.
Flashes of the past returned to the forefront of your mind; you tried your best to ignore those, knowing fully well they would haunt you in your dreams tonight.
“Come on, guys, stop that nonsense.”, much to your relief the co-coach separated the two fighting parties.
“Can you believe that?!”, the forward asked you, sounding exasperated.
“Viv are you okay?!”, you whispered.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”, she assured you.
“Okay, good.”, you nodded. Although nothing was good. Not really, but you weren’t sure you could confide into her. You were still new to the team, and you didn’t want to bother her with things which laid in the past but had a way to resurface in the present.
After the game which resulted in a draw you were the last to be in the shower. Under the harsh waterjet you tried to scrub off what happened today, the skin turned already red, because of your strong rubbing against it.
“Hey, are you coming? You don’t want to miss the bus.”, Kim cleared her throat impatiently to get your attention.
“Yes, everyone is waiting for you.”, Leah added, standing right next to your team’s captain, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“I’m coming.”, you promised.
“Do you need help with anything?”, Lia asked concerned.
“No, I’m good, we can go.”, you waved her off while getting dressed, the clothes clinging to your skin and your hair was still wet when you left the changing room with your teammates.
You were quiet on your way back. You did not want to be that quiet. Everyone around you was talking and joking. But you just sat there, your thoughts spinning.
You barely even managed to say good bye to your teammates before going home.
Standing in front of the door of the small apartment, you could already hear your stepfathers voice.
He was yelling again.
For a moment you considered just leaving but then you thought better of it.
Carefully, you opened the door.
“Hi, I’m home.“, you announced yourself quietly.
Your stepdad immediately turned to you: “You played like shit today.“
You flinched as he stomped towards you: “But I…“
His hands wrapped around your upper arm. The sport bag dropped from your shoulder as he pushed you around in anger: “Whatever your coach said, he’s wrong! Remember who got you to where you are now?! Who coached you first and saw your potential!“
His face was so close to yours that you could smell the alcohol on his breath.
You could not get yourself to meet his eyes.
“I’m tired… I just want to go to bed.“, you said calmly, to not risk upsetting him even more.
He continued, pushing you backwards repeatedly until your back hit the wall with full force: “You better remember that! And you better work your ass off at the next game. I refuse to let you embarrass me again!“
There was so much you wanted to say. You wanted to shout how glad you were that he would never coach you again and how sorry you felt for the other kids. You wanted to scream that you owed him nothing, that you were the one who had built this career for yourself.
But you felt too drained to fight, so you just nodded and disappeared into your room without another word.
At training the next day, your stepfathers words reverberated in your head and you found yourself subconsciously pushing your body to its limit at every exercises.
This did not go unnoticed by your teammates.
“Woah, hey. Slow down, little one.“, Beth stopped you. She was smiling but there her eyebrows were knotted together in worry.
Steph appeared on your side as you caught your breath: “Yes, you don’t want to hurt yourself in training.“
“I won’t.“, you said plainly, hoping they would back off and would let you continue.
“Y/n…“, Beth started, the smile suddenly gone.
“Yes?“
“Relax a bit. This is almost as obsessive as Leah is with her training.“, she chuckled but you knew she was serious.
The blonde defender grimaced at her: “Excuse me?!“
Her voice went soft as she added: “But yes, something is off… Y/n, if you want to talk about it, you should know that we’re here for you.“
You could feel the tears well up in your eyes so you just shook your head.
“And if not to us, there’s also a psychologist here.“, Lia continued empathetically.
“It’s fine. Really. Just need to be better at the next game.”, you tried.to wave their worries off.
“You played like ten minutes. Not many players can make a difference in ten minutes.”, Katie argued.
“Yes, but it’s not good enough!”, you shouted, pushing the arm of the Irish woman which stretched out for a hug away.
“Alright, calm down. Katie rolled her eyes annoyed at you, before turning her head to your other teammates who stood there equally clueless about your sudden emotional outbreak, sounds like she really does need to see our psychologist.”
You were close to shout at her, telling the older woman that she had no idea what was going on inside your brain, how unloving and dangerous your home felt. That family wasn’t always as perfect as the club painted it to be. But you decided to be quiet and continued to do your training.
It was after the next match day at home when Kim noticed that your stepdad was pushing you around.
” Girls, look.”, the captain nodded worried into your direction.
“We can’t just-“, Katie begun, already rolling up her sleeves, ready to fight against the taller man.
“Katie. He’s gone.”, Caitlin interrupted her girlfriend.
“Y/n?”, Kim was the first who was at your side, the rest of the team swiftly followed her.
“Kim? Katie?”, you blinked at them in surprise.
“Are you good? Is he bothering you.”, the Irish player wanted to know from you with deep concern in her voice.
“He’s my stepdad, he always acts like that.”, you looked down, ashamed that your home wasn’t as beautiful and wholesome as theirs.
“You know, I don’t think I like him an awful lot.”, Beth admitted.
“The next time he pushes you, I’ll push him back. Such an asshole!”, Katie cursed.
“No one’s pushing anyone here!”, Kim demanded in full captain mode. All she cared about was your well-being. The rest could be solved at a later stage.
“Right, and we need to get y/n out of this unhealthy situation at first.”, Lia added earnestly while brushing softly through your open hair with one hand to calm down her and your nerves.
“You really are the personification of Switzerland, Wally.”, Katie teased her, attempting to lighten up the depressive atmosphere.
“Someone has to find a reasonable solution.”, Lia defended herself.
“Maybe she could sleep at one of our places tonight until we have a plan?”, Kim suggested.
“Sounds good.”, Leah agreed seriously.
“She can stay with me and Viv.”, Beth announced, giving you a warm smile.
“Yes, she can stay as long as she wants. Plus, Myles will be so excited to see her again.”, the Dutch footballer grinned at the memory of their little puppy who loved you a lot.
“Thanks, girls.”, you mumbled gratefully.
Gently, Beth put her arm around your shoulders: “That’s what we’re here for.“
“Yes but all your families are so cute and then there’s mine… so I thought I never belonged.“, you admitted, not sure if you were making any sense.
Alessia shrugged, her gaze fixed on you: “Not everyone has a perfect family.“
“And family is not always blood-related.“, Beth added softly.
For a moment you were sure that you saw tears glistening in her blue eyes but you could not blame her. She had been through a lot.
“What do you mean?“, you asked.
“What Beth is trying to say is that we can be your family, y/n.“, Leah explained.
You looked up at her in surprise: “Really?“
“This is what this team is and always was.“, Kim nodded solemnly.
“A family…“, you said conclusively.
You looked at your teammates and were left speechless by the determination and empathy in their faces.
After years of suffering through the abuse in youth teams, your heart felt full with gratefulness and adoration for your teammates. But it simultaneously was also breaking for the children still having horrible coaches and being dismissed.
In that moment, you made a promise to yourself to make whatever team you would join a safe space and a family as well.
But for now, you were ready to let your guard down and let your Arsenal family take care of you.
#woso x reader#woso#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso community#woso one shot#woso oneshot#arsenal wfc#arsenal wfc x reader#arsenal wfc imagine#arsenal women#awfc#vivianne miedema#arsenal x reader#leah williamson#beth mead#kim little#lia walti#katie mccabe
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